#Black Chickpeas recipes
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BBQ Black Bean Burgers
#avantgardevegan#lunch#dinner#savoury#burger#burgers#bbq#black beans#vegan#food#recipe#recipes#lettuce#mushroom#mushrooms#chickpeas#hemp seeds
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what is your favorite recipe to cook? Mine is vodka sauce and pasta or chickpea coconut curry !
omg those both sound SO good….honestly idk my diet changed a lot when i moved 2 a different country + now i’ve moved back 2 the u.s. so i’m figuring out what 2 cook again!! for the past 2 years kimchi&tuna fried rice has def been a go-to i made it allllll the time but now i no longer have access 2 my fave tuna brand so i haven’t made it yet since moving back…another recent fave has been breakfast potatoes chop up a yummy golden potato & fry it in a pan w some onions + whatever other veggies i have + add salt + pepper + paprika + red pepper & then crack some eggs & scramble them in…SAUR good
#in general my recipes follow the pattern of: veggies + protein fried 2gether in pan#add spices etc then add a carb#in the u.s. my go-to protein was canned black beans or chickpeas#but those were not available 2 me 4 the past 2 years so i converted 2 canned meats instead#tuna chicken etc…#main 2 recipes i used 2 make in the us were some variation of curry chickpeas + black bean burritos :•)#nice 2 be able 2 make them again but i do miss my beloved favorite tuna brand…#ask
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Quinoa salad with hummus and cabbage (aka. did somebody say plant protein)
Ingredients for 4 portions:
1 dl white quinoa
2 dl black quinoa
1 dl green lentils
6 dl water
1 red pointed cabbage (or regular, i doubt it matters)
2 avocados
4 tsp olive oil
2 tsp apple vinegar
1 tsp mustard
1 tsp honey
Hummus with sun-dried tomatoes:
240g boiled chickpeas (can be canned)
1 dl olive oil
3-4 cloves of garlic
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon tahini
3-4 sun-dried tomatoes
1 teaspoon ground cumin
0,5 teaspoons cayenne pepper
0,5 teaspoons ground cilantro
Cold water
Salt & pepper
Preparation:
Boil quinoa as per the instructions on the packet. I boiled my quinoa and lentils in the same pot and it turned out fine.
Chop your pointed cabbage into appropriate bite sizes. In a glass or bowl, mix olive oil, apple vinegar, mustard and honey into an even consistency vignarette. Taste test with salt and pepper, and then mix it well with your cabbage.
Cut avocado into slices.
Hummus:
Blend all ingredients together. I use one of those food chopping things you have to pull like a lawnmower, which... does the job, lol.
Add cold water until your hummus is the desired consistency. I've heard that adding this water in the form of crushed ice actually makes the hummus more creamy, but I haven't tried that out yet. Cold water works just fine.
Taste test with ground cumin, salt and freshly ground black pepper.
For serving, arrange the salad in layers in your bowls, starting with hummus at the bottom, then quinoa and lentils, then avocado slices, and then topping off with a healthy layer of cabbage.
Enjoy!
#i made this with leftovers and loved it so. scaled it up. its a recipe now#white quinoa#black quinoa#green lentils#pointed cabbage#avocado#olive oil#mustard#apple vinegar#honey#chickpeas#garlic#lemon juice#tahini#sun dried tomatoes#cumin#cilantro#cayenne pepper#water#salt and pepper#hummus
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Chickpea Farinata Recipe - The GialloZafferano Recipe
Chickpea Farinata Recipe – The GialloZafferano Recipe It’s one savory cake very low with a golden crust, it is made with only 4 ingredients and has very ancient origins: we are talking about chickpea farinata, a Ligurian specialty especially typical of the city of Genoa. Made with a batter made from chickpea flour, water, olive oil and salt, it is traditionally cooked in a wood-fired oven but…
#Black pepper#Chickpea flour#cooked#Extra virgin olive oil#It goes up fine#kitchen#recipe#Recipes#Waterfall
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Chana Masala, from Swasthi’s Recipes
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Total Time: 50 minutes
Servings: 4
Ingredients
1 cup dried chickpeas OR 2 -15 oz cans/3 cups canned chickpeas
2 tablespoon oil
2 large finely chopped yellow or red onions. Need 1 1/2 cups
3 large tomatoes, finely chopped. OR 1 1/2 cups canned whole peeled tomatoes
1 teaspoon garam masala
1 1/2 teaspoon red chili powder
2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon turmeric
3/4 - 1 tablespoon ginger garlic paste, OR 1/2 tablespoon each minced
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 green chili, thinly chopped
1 teaspoon kasuri methi/dried fenugreek leaves (optional)
1/4 teaspoon amchur (optional). Can substitute with lemon juice at time of serving
2 tablespoon coriander leaves, finely chopped
1 small Indian bay leaf (optional)
1 inch cinnamon (optional)
2 cloves (optional)
2 green cardamoms (optional)
Water
Instructions
1. Rinse dried chickpeas at least thrice. Soak them in 3 1/2 to 4 cups of water overnight, or for at least 8 hours. Drain the water and rinse them well.
2. If using a pressure cooker, pour 1 1/2 cups fresh water to the chana/chickpeas and cook for 5 to 6 whistles on medium heat. You may also cook in an instant pot for 18 minutes on a high pressure. Let the pressure drop naturally.
If using a regular pot, cooked the soaked chickpeas with 3 cups water in a heavy bottom pot. Cook 45-60 minutes.
3. Make sure your chickpeas are soft and tender. Squeeze a chickpea to test, it should get mashed fully. If not cook them for a little longer.
4. If using canned chickpeas, skip steps 1-3.
5. Make the onion tomato masala. Heat a large pot and pour oil. When the oil turns slightly hot, add the whole spices – cinnamon, cloves, cardamoms and bay leaf. All optional.
6. When they begin to sizzle add the onions and green chili. Saute until they turn light golden, about 8-9 minutes.
7. Add ginger garlic paste and saute for a minute, making sure to avoid burning it.
8. Add tomatoes and salt. Let cook until mushy, pulpy and thick, for 6-7 minutes. Cover to speed up the cooking time.
9. Stir in red chilli powder, turmeric, garam masala, coriander powder and cumin powder. Saute on medium heat until the masala begins to smell good, for about 3 to 4 minutes.
10. Optional – If you want a smooth curry, cool the mixture, discard the bay leaf, green chili and cinnamon. Blend in a blender to a smooth or coarse paste to suit your liking. I prefer to blend in 2 tbsps cooked chana along with the onion tomato masala. Add that puree back to the pot.
11. Make the chickpea masala. Add the chana/chickpeas to the pot. Add water (1¼ cups, or until a liquidy consistency). If you don't puree the onion tomato masala, you will require lesser water.
If using canned chickpeas, drain and rinse them before adding with 2 cups water.
12. Mix well. Taste test and add salt as needed. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes.
13. When the consistency is thick, add amchur powder (optional) and kasuri methi. Crush the kasuri methi in your palms and sprinkle.
14. Garnish chana masala with coriander leaves. Sprinkle some lemon juice if required. Serve with basmati rice, jeera rice, naan, or chapati.
#food#recipes#I think it turned out okay? Idk I've never had chana masala before#it's a little spicier than I expected but it's balanced out well with the jeera rice (from SharMissCooking)#I thought it was going to have more tomato but it turned out fine#Used two large yellow onions but it was definitely more than 1 1/2 cup. Cooked down fine though#Didn't blend anything just let it cook#I used canned chickpeas#Used 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper and 1/2 teaspoon of red pepper flakes#Used minced ginger and garlic not paste#Did not include green chili or coriander leaves or bay leaves or cinnamon#Used four cloves and 1 cracked black cardamom
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Chickpeas save my life 😌
#tiktok did me right on this one#recipe following#melt butter with salt red pepper black pepper and Italian seasoning#add chopped sun dried tomatoes and broth of your choice#add a can of chickpeas and reduce for a few minutes#add a little cream at a time until it’s a nice orange color#and add like a half cap of lemon juice#I think next time I make it I’m gonna roast the chickpeas in the oven first#I didn’t have the energy this time but I think it would really elevate stuff#mine
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Kala Chana Soup Recipe काले चने का सूप Black Chickpeas Soup Rajan ...
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Breakfast and Brunch - Chickpea Omelette A vegan open-faced omelette made without eggs from chickpea flour and lightly sauteed vegetables is ideal for brunches.
#vegetables#everyday cooking#chickpea omelette#black salt#chickpea omelette recipe#brunch table#omelette
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#chickpeas#crisp salad#food diary#homecooking#onion#tomato#cucumber#basil#fresh coriander#sumac#lemon juice#black pepper#cooking#recipes
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Can confirm The Beans™ fuck hard, even without fresh dill (both my local stores were out, so I used just parsley). The toasted bread is absolutely crucial; I recommend buttering it for peak deliciousness. I also added a dash of Trader Joe's umami seasoning to give it a bit of extra body.
My canonical The Beans recipe for the convenience of linking to people
Original recipe is here: https://www.wearesovegan.com/creamy-miso-coconut-butter-beans but the modified version in this post is betterrrr:
Ingredience:
olive oil
1 onion, peeled + sliced
1 can of cannellini beans*
1 can of chickpeas*
1 can of full-fat coconut milk
2 tbsp white miso paste
salt + pepper
100g (3.5oz) baby spinach
1 handful of fresh dill or parsley (I usually use parsley; The Beans are still delicious even with dried herbs, but use less)
1/2 lemon, juice only
some tasty fresh fuckin BREAD
*When I make a double batch (and I always make a double batch, you should too at least if you're cooking for a group) I do 3 cans cannellini beans and 1 can chickpeas-- I think this is the ideal ratio but it's not very practical to do in a single batch
Steps:
Drizzle a splash of olive oil in a large pan or pot on a low-medium heat. Next add the onion and cook for 6-8 minutes or until the onion turns translucent (you don’t want to brown the onion).
Add the beans - including all the juices from the tins - into the pan. Then turn the heat up and cook for 5-8 minutes or until some of the liquid has reduced. While you're waiting, here's some prep you can do in anticipation of later steps: A. Put the miso paste into a small bowl and ladle a bit of the hot liquid in. Stir it around to dissolve. (This saves you from intractable undissolved miso clumps in the final product later) B. Chop the herbs if you got herbs that need to be chopped
Pour in the coconut milk. (You can reserve a few dollops of the cream for topping later if you want to be fancy, but I never bother).
Stir in the miso paste (dissolve it first if you haven't already!) and a generous pinch of pepper, then cook for a minute. Go a bit longer if the broth seems too runny, but it's probably fine.
Stir in the spinach and cook for another minute until it has wilted.
Chop most of the dill/parsley if you didn't already (save a few leaves for topping later if you want to be fancy) then add the chopped dill into the pan along with the lemon juice.
Give everything a good stir, then taste the sauce and season with salt and more pepper, if necessary.
Remove the pan from the heat (and if you chose the Fancy Life, top with the remaining dill leaves, a splash of olive oil, freshly ground black pepper and dollops of the remaining coconut cream.)
Serve with toasted bread for dunking into the creamy beans oh my god do not neglect the bread dunking bread dunking is THE POINT.
Congratulations! You are now enjoying The Beans!
---
Doubled version of this recipe under the cut for my own benefit, so I can glance at it without having to remember to double everything:
THE BEANS DOUBLE DASH:
Ingredience:
olive oil
2 onions, peeled + sliced
3 cans of cannellini beans
1 can of chickpeas
2 cans of full-fat coconut milk
4 tbsp white miso paste
salt + pepper
200g (7oz) baby spinach
a whole bunch (double handful?) of fresh dill or parsley (I usually use parsley; The Beans are still delicious even with dried herbs, but use less)
1 lemon, juice only
some tasty fresh fuckin BREAD
Steps:
Drizzle a splash of olive oil in a large pan or pot on a low-medium heat. Next add the onion and cook for 6-8 minutes or until the onion turns translucent (you don’t want to brown the onion).
Add the beans - including all the juices from the tins - into the pan. Then turn the heat up and cook for 7-10 minutes or until some of the liquid has reduced. While you're waiting, here's some prep you can do in anticipation of later steps: A. Put the miso paste into a small bowl and ladle a bit of the hot liquid in. Stir it around to dissolve. (This saves you from intractable undissolved miso clumps in the final product later) B. Chop the herbs if you got herbs that need to be chopped
Pour in the coconut milk. (You can reserve a few dollops of the cream for topping later if you want to be fancy, but I never bother).
Stir in the miso paste (dissolve it first if you haven't already!) and a generous pinch of pepper, then cook for a minute. Go a bit longer if the broth seems too runny, but it's probably fine.
Stir in the spinach and cook for another minute until it has wilted.
Chop most of the dill/parsley if you didn't already (save a few leaves for topping later if you want to be fancy) then add the chopped dill into the pan along with the lemon juice.
Give everything a good stir, then taste the sauce and season with salt and more pepper, if necessary.
Remove the pan from the heat (and if you chose the Fancy Life, top with the remaining dill leaves, a splash of olive oil, freshly ground black pepper and dollops of the remaining coconut cream.)
Serve with toasted bread for dunking into the creamy beans oh my god do not neglect the bread dunking bread dunking is THE POINT.
Congratulations!! You are now enjoying The Beans but twice as much!!
#i imagine dashi powder would accomplish something similar to that seasoning but in a slightly different key#they're so gooooood#also you can go way harder on the pepper than you might think. i used both white and black pepper in mine#i didn't believe that it would need much more salt with all of the salt from the miso but i did have to add a bit more at the end!#if cannellinis aren't sold near you you can probably sub with other white beans or more/all chickpeas#recipes
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Black Chana Chaat Recipe | Black Chana Recipe | Kala Chana Chaat | Chickpeas Street Food Recipe
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[ID: A greyish brown stew presented alongside flatbread, red pepper paste, green peppers, and carrot sticks. End ID]
سماقية / Summagiyya (Gazan stew with chard, chickpea, sumac, and 'lamb')
Summagiyya (سُمَّاقِيَّة; also translitered "sumagiyya", "sumaghiyyeh" or "sumaqiyya") is one of the signature dishes of the Gaza strip, in particular Gaza City. It consists of lamb, chard, and chickpeas in a sumac-infused broth; savor and zest is added by a dagga of dill seeds, garlic, and peppers, and nutty depth by a generous drizzle of red tahina. The resulting stew is thick, earthy, and slodgily grey (due to the green chard and red sumac)—it also has the characteristic sourness of much Gazan cuisine.
Summagiyya is most often prepared during holidays, especially Eid al-Fitr; it's an excellent make-ahead dish for these occasions, since it's even better once its flavors have had time to meld and mellow overnight. It is served cold alongside fresh vegetables, and eaten by using flatbread to scoop up each bite. This recipe provides a spiced seitan recipe to replace the lamb, but you may also use any lamb or beef substitute of your choice.
Today, summagiyya is often prepared with Israeli white tahina, as decades of punitive import laws, taxes, and restrictions have enforced Palestine's status as a consumer, rather than an producer, of food products. Israeli tariffs on, and confiscations of, Palestinian goods have forced those tahina factories that survived to import sesame seeds rather than using locally grown crops, even as they export the best of their product to Israel. The dubbing of foods such as tahina and hummus as culturally "Israeli" cuisine works to hide this exploitative relationship, and cement an Israeli national identity through the subsuming and erasure of Palestinian existence. It is for this reason that Emad Moussa writes that Palestinian cuisine has a role in "protecting against a people's very extinction."
Medical Aid for Palestinians (MAP) has put out an urgent call for donations to provide medical supplies to Palestinian hospitals when supply lines reopen. Also contact your representatives in the USA, UK, and Canada.
Ingredients:
For the soup:
500g (2 large bunches) chard (شلق), diced
80g Levantine sumac berries (Rhus coriaria)
1/2 cup soaked and boiled chickpeas, mostly cooked (40g dry / scant 1/4 cup)
1/4 cup red tahina
1/2 cup (60g) all-purpose flour
1 large yellow onion
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tsp kosher salt
2 cardamom pods (optional)
2 allspice berries (optional)
More olive oil, to fry
Sumac berries can be found in the spice section of a halal grocery store. If you're unable to locate whole berries, pre-ground will do.
For the dagga:
1 1/2 Tbsp dill seeds
5 cloves garlic
1/2 green cubanelle pepper
2-3 dried red chilis (optional)
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp cumin
Dill seeds may be found at a halal, south Asian, or speciality European grocery store. They are commonly used in Indian food and as a pickling spice. At a south Asian grocery store they may be labelled soyo, suva, shepu, or savaa.
For the lamb:
1 cup (120g) vital wheat gluten, aka gluten flour
1/2 Tbsp ground sumac
1/2 tsp ground caraway
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp Palestinian 7-spice
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp ground aniseed
1/2 tsp turnermic
1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp miso paste
2 cloves garlic, grated
2 tsp pomegranate molasses
1 Tbsp white or red tahina
About 1/2 cup vegetarian 'beef' stock from concentrate, or vegetable stock
Pomegranate molasses is simply pomegranate juice that has been reduced to a thick consistency. It may be found in the sauces section of a halal grocery store.
Instructions:
For the soup:
1. Soak dried chickpeas in cool water overnight, or in just-boiled water for an hour. Drain and re-cover with water, and boil for 30-45 minutes, until almost fully cooked. Drain and set aside.
2. Simmer sumac seeds in enough water to cover by a couple inches for about an hour, until the water is dark red. Blend the seeds and water together, then strain the mixture through a cheesecloth.
If you're using ground sumac, skip the blending step. Use a cheesecloth or very fine metal sieve (such as one intended for brewing tea) to remove the ground spice from the water.
3. Whisk the flour into the sumac-infused water.
For the lamb:
1. Combine all dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Add wet ingredients other than stock and stir briefly. Add enough stock to produce a soft, smooth dough.
2. Knead by hand on a clean surface, or put in a stand mixer with paddle attachment on medium-low, for about 5 minutes. You should see stringy strands begin to form in the dough.
3. Allow to rest, covered, for 5-10 minutes to encourage gluten formation. Knead for another 3 minutes. Do not over-knead.
4. Tear the dough into bite-sized pieces.
Stringy seitan being pulled apart into pieces.
You may also shape the dough into a slab and cube it with a sharp knife—the lamb or beef used in summagiyya is usually cubed—but I prefer the texture of torn seitan to sliced.
5. Steam the seitan pieces for 10 minutes in a bamboo steamer or using a metal steamer basket. Place the bamboo steamer in the bottom of a wok and cover its base by about 1/2" (1 cm), then raise the heat to boil the water; lower the heat to keep the water at a simmer. If using a steamer basket, place it over the opening of a pot containing a couple inches of water and bring it to a simmer. Start the timer when the water begins simmering.
6. Heat olive oil on medium-high and sear the steamed seitan pieces, turning as necessary, until deeply browned on all sides. Set aside.
Fried seitan pieces.
You can save a step here by searing the raw seitan, then returning it to the pot after you've fried the onions to simmer it rather than steaming. I found that this produced a mushier texture.
For the dagga (دقة):
1. Grind cumin and black pepper thoroughly in a mortar and pestle, then add dried red pepper and dill seed and crush coarsely. Add green sweet pepper and garlic and pound until a coarse mixture forms.
Dill seeds, green sweet pepper, garlic, and dried red chili on a cutting board, alongside dagga in a large granite mortar.
You may also use a spice mill or food processor.
To assemble:
1. Chop the onion. Wash the chard and slice it thinly in one direction; turn it ninety degrees and slice thinly again.
Diced chard, fried seitan, dagga, and sumac-infused water with flour.
2. In a large pot, heat a couple tablespoons of olive oil on medium. Fry chopped onion, cardamom pods, and allspice berries for a minute until fragrant. Add half of the dagga and fry until fragrant.
3. Add chard and fry, mixing often, until wilted.
Wilted chard in a wok.
4. Add sumac mixture, chickpeas, and water to cover. Bring to a boil, then lower heat to a simmer. If you didn't steam your seitan earlier, add it now.
5. Continue to stir and simmer until the stew is thick, homogenous, and greyish-brown, about 15 minutes.
Simmered stew.
6. Add the remainder of the garlic mixture, the red tahina, a pinch of ground cumin, the 1/4 cup olive oil, and salt to taste. Return the steamed and seared seitan to the pot and mix.
Serve cool with flatbread, sweet green peppers, bitter green and black olives, carrots, leafy greens, and/or pickles.
#vegetarian recipes#vegan recipe#vegan cooking#Palestinian#Gazan#chickpeas#lamb#seitan#chard#dill seeds#pomegranate molasses
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Stardew Gas (Shane x Male Farmer) (M/M)
The Luau was a wonderful tradition in Pelican Town. Omar being the town’s farmer, always made sure to bring his best ingredients for the big Soup! Everyone gets to put in their own ingredients, and Omar always wanted to show the fruits of his farming. Especially since the governor would come to town just for this event. Since he began getting close to Shane, Omar had been perfecting the way he grew his chillies. It was after all one of the ways he got Shane to see him as a friend, and then eventually a partner. They’ve been dating for a year now, and Shane with the help of Omar, town doctor Harvey, and his therapist in Zuzu City, he’s been able to work on his mental health, and improve a lot! After Joja Mart closed down following the completion of the Community Center, Shane started spending more time with Omar, helping around with the animals. They loved working together. It’s why when it was their turn to add something to the Luau Soup, they both added chillies! The soup was delicious! With the approval of the governor, everyone celebrated, eating more food and joking around with each other.
Late at night, after the Luau ended, full of food Shane and Omar walked back to their shared home together. “Ughh... *gurgle*... I feel a little bloated... oof... too much Joja all-purpose dipping sauce.” Shane said, rubbing his belly. “Same here. We ate so much. Elliot’s bean casserole was phenomenal. I have to ask him for the recipe the next time I see him. You know he told me that he was working on a cookbook.” Omar said. “Oh is that so? Do tell him that chickpeas don’t work in a bean casserole. Too many different textures.” Shane said before smiling. The two of them entered their home, and removed their shoes and walked over to their bedroom to change into their pajamas. Shane put on his blue plaid pajama pants, and an old band tee for Bimar, both Shane and Omar were fans of the band and loved their song ‘Distressed Position’. Omar changed into his black pajama shorts, and a normal t-shirt that just had a cat on it. The two men sat on the couch, and turned on the TV. Even though the Luau was lively, they weren’t tired. Omar’s dog Buddy sat on his bed next to the couch, it was the same dog that Shane’s aunt Marnie found and brought to Omar. Buddy took a liking to Shane almost right away, and has been very beneficial to Shane’s mental health improving.
Shane rubbed his belly, the food from the Luau was beginning to mix and become gas in his stomach. This wouldn’t be a problem if he was back at Marnie’s home. Shane would usually just take a walk around the barn, and walk past the forests and let out any farts he had on the way. Hell, he’d probably be letting all of his gas out in his bedroom, as long as he kept his window open Marnie wouldn’t mind. But here with Omar things were different. He hadn’t farted in front of Omar yet. Sure he assumed that his loving farmer boyfriend had farted before, he by all proof was a human, and humans fart. He couldn’t fart no matter how bad the gas pains were, he didn’t want to ruin this love. But through the corner of his eye, Shane saw Buddy, sleeping peacefully in his bed. Dogs fart, Shane could totally blame his release on Buddy, Omar has probably blamed his farts on Buddy many times before. Omar was focusing very much into the movie about a team of young adults solving a mystery, he wouldn’t notice Shane farting.
Shane slightly shifted in his seat, and released a fart blast.
PRBPRRRRBBTTRRTTTTT
The fart was a quick rumble, Shane had hoped that it would be an SBD but oh well, better now to blame the dog. “Ha Wow Buddy that was a good one!” Omar looked at Shane smirking, unbeknownst to Shane, Omar was not buying that at all. He knew that Shane had farted, breaking the barrier in their relationship, it would have been broken weeks ago but Marnie had called the home asking if Shane could bring over some fresh eggs from the barn, before Omar could be the first to let rip. Shane looked back at Omar, and began to internally panic. “W-What? That was the dog. I swear” Shane said, trying to seem calm. Omar shook his head and looked deep into Shane’s eyes.
BRRRAAAAPPTTT
“Yes, the dog.” Omar said, smiling. Shane didn’t know what to say, Omar didn’t buy his lie, and then farted in front of him. “I-I’m sorry Omar. I didn’t mean to lie to you” he said, feeling absolutely awful. “Oh Shane, don’t apologize. You tried to blame a fart on the dog, so what? You’re not the only one feeling the effects of tonight’s Luau meal.” “I just felt embarrassed to do it, in front of you. I was afraid that you’d think that it was gross and wouldn’t want to be with me.” “Shane, I would never ever dump you, especially not over a little fart. It’s not even that gross, heck I have to clean up cow poop now that’s gross. I know it stinks, but they’re happier when they get to let that shit go. So you know it’s like us, I’m happier when you’re able to fart freely in front of me.” Shane smiled after hearing that, and kissed Omar on the cheek, it’s what he needed to hear. Shane and Omar continued to watch the movie together, feeling better now that they’ve broken the fart barrier. Almost 30 minutes later, Omar got hit with a smell of rotten eggs, he looked towards Shane. Shane with a smirk on his face looked at Omar, “What? I’m at my happiest.” Omar cracked up at that comment and he kissed Shane on the lips. “I love you, you smelly cow.” “Moo.” Omar and Shane continued to laugh together and watched the movie till its end.
After the movie ended, Omar and Shane turned off the TV and walked to their bed letting out little farts along the way, taking full advantage of their newfound comfort. They got into bed, Buddy in his bed. Shane felt really happy, he was soaking it in how he was sleeping with his boyfriend, he didn’t need to worry about Jas and Marnie, Buddy was sound asleep, and he was comfortable with Omar. He was so comfortable in fact that he didn’t think twice about releasing some of his gas.
PBRRT
It was a little fart, nothing big to write home about, but it made Shane happy to not have to hold back anymore. “Don’t blame the dog on that weak one.” Omar said cheekily. “Weak?” “Yes baby, weak. That was alright. Here, let me show you better.”
BRRrruuuRRPBRRTT
Omar released a loud fart that slid into a low rumble before coming back up in volume. “That’s how you do it.” “I see, I see. Here, I’m going to take credit for this one.”
PPPRRRBBRTTTTT
Shane let out a big fart, showing how serious he was to prove that he wasn’t weak. “Good Good. That’s better to see babe.” “You got anymore?” “Oh Shanny boy, you won’t be able to beat me. I used to out-fart my dad, and that man is why Mayor Lewis is a mayor and not the town farter.” “Town farter?” “Yeah Lewis used to fart a lot in town when he was younger. My dad beat him so bad in a contest, with a fart that some say is still going on.” “Really? I can’t believe Lewis would be so open about farting. He never seemed like the type to even burp!” Shane, now sitting up, was surprised to learn that Mayor Lewis would be so nonchalant about farting. Sure he knew that Lewis had his secrets, he thought to himself, “I mean Omar did catch Lewis kissing Marnie one night after a pretty eventful night at the Saloon. There was also the time Lewis forgot his underwear in Marnie’s room, Omar doesn’t know but I saw him bring it to Lewis. They don’t think I know but Lewis climbs in through the back window in Marnie’s room.” Omar sat up too, and began talking about the memories his dad told him about Mayor Lewis. “Yeah, when my dad lived here with my grandpa, my dad and Lewis would challenge each other in things. Lewis mainly farted when he was alone, but some days he’d fart in front of my dad to see if he’d do something. But he never thought my dad would fire back, so when one day that he did they set up a contest. My dad said it lasted for about an hour, they were firing back and forth within seconds of each other, they did it in this old home near the lake, he said that place stunk so bad! But after my dad let out a big 10 second fart, Lewis had nothing to return so my dad was declared the winner. Nowadays I notice that whenever Lewis walks by my barn he scrunches his face, like he’s letting something out. I think he uses my cows to block the farts.” Shane couldn’t believe his ears, Lewis a farter? And Omar’s dad beating Lewis, and Omar beating his dad? “Omar can’t be that impressive, if he’s using Lewis as a base.” Shane thought to himself. “Well Omar, if you’re such a pro-farter let’s see who can stink out this joint. Make Pelican Town think your cows have started to rot!” “You really want to go for it?” Shane pulled his knee to his chest and let out a 4 second bassy fart. “Yeah I’m going for it.” after saying that Shane let out 2 smaller farts back to back. “Oh! I see how it is, watch this!” Omar said before leaning slightly to the left, with his butt facing Shane and let out two bubbly farts that were 3 seconds. “Still want to go against me?” Omar said. Shane stood up and turned around and stuck out his butt, before letting out a wet 5 second fart! “And that was all air baby!” Shane said gloating.
Omar and Shane kept their eye contact, the room falling silent until they both began to laugh and Shane fell onto the bed. “I love you honey” Shane said, kissing Omar’s cheek. “I love you too. Now if you truly want to start a contest we gotta do it by my dad’s rules.” Seeing that Shane was confused, Omar gave more information. “We pick a day, pig out on a bunch of fart inducing food, and whomever runs out first loses.” Omar punctuated his dad’s rules with a low rumble of a fart. “That sounds like fun, I mean I think we could do some damage to Pelican Town if we go full force-” Shane paused, letting out a wet note. “We should go some place far. Where no one can hear us-” Shane lifting his leg, releasing a loud bubbly fart “Where no one can smell us”. Omar smiled at Shane, letting go a short pop of a fart. “That sounds perfect, we can make the paint peel, in more ways than one.” Omar said, tracing Shane’s arm and stomach with his fingers. Omar releasing a longer bassy fart, punctuating it with tapping Shane on the tip of his nose, “Boop”. Shane smiled. Shane and Omar laid there in silence except for the bursts of gas releasing into the air, it wouldn’t be long before they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
#eproctophilia#fart#farts#farting#fart kink#eprocto#gay fart#gay farts#male farts#male fart#fart story
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(Qudst) 43-year-old Osama Qashoo, co-founded in 2001 the International Solidarity Movement (ISM), which is a group that uses nonviolent direct action to challenge and resist the Israeli occupation of Palestinian land. This organization paved the way for the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) movement four years later.
Qashoo now is an owner of two prominent pro-Palestine establishments in a bustling neighborhood in London, where he employs them to show all kinds of solidarity with Palestine. In 2023, he invented a new taste for Coca Cola which is more Palestinians called "Cola Gaza".
Nynke Brett, 53, who lives in Hackney, east London, discovered Cola Gaza while attending a cultural event at Palestine House. “It’s not as fizzy as Coke. It’s smoother, easier on the palate,” she says. “And it tastes even better because you’re supporting Palestine."
Osama Qashoo runs two establishments packed with restaurants, bookstores and shops in London. He turns them into a hub with a message and a mission for Palestine. at the entrance of the eatery a doll dressed in a black and white keffiyeh scarf sits on a table with a sign above written in blood-colored ink: "Save the children" referring to the thousands of Palestinian children killed in Israeli war on Gaza over the past year. On several tables sit cherry red soda cans decorated wit the black, white and green stripes of the Palestinian flag, Arabic calligraphy and bordered by a pattern from the keffiey. It offers its drinkers an apartheid-free alternative as they boycott pro Isreal brands Above Hiba Express is Palestine House a multistorey gathering place for Palestinians and their supporters built in the style of a traditional Arabic house with stone walls and a central courtyard with a fountain. Hiba Express a fast food chain serves up Palestinian and Lebanese dishes of Halloumi cheese, chickpeas, falafel and others, made from Qashoo family recipes. The space is decorated with tree branches and placards with slogans such as "From the river to the sea"
#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#current events#jerusalem#yemen#israel#tel aviv#palestine news#london
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i suffer from chronic depression and really low energy. i find preparing even the most basic of meals really hard.
do you know of any places in the uk i can buy vegan ready meals which do deliveries please?
also things i can buy in bulk for breakfast, lunch etc like cereal bars where prep isn’t needed
thank you so much
Huel is a good option for very cheap meals, you can buy ready-to-drink ones or powders that you just mix yourself. That can be breakfast and lunch sorted by itself. There are also quite a lot of meal delivery services in the UK who offer vegan food, I found about five with a quick search but I haven't tried any, so I can't make recommendations.
Stocking up on basics like soups, pasta pots and packaged noodles would be good in a pinch. Protein bars would be good to have on hand, Misfits ones are great but Trek do protein flapjacks that are vegan as well. Home and Bargain and Heron do big flapjacks which are surprisingly vegan and are very high in calories, for when you just need to get some fat and calories in - they're about 5 for £2. For more nutritious options, canned foods can also be just thrown in with microwaves rice, things like chickpeas, lentils, black beans, kidney beans etc. You can buy microwavable packets of pre-flavoured grains and such from most supermarkets, they're reasonably healthy and not too expensive. There are also loads of snacking faux meats that you just throw on some bread for a quick lunch. Even just having some bread, hummus and carrot sticks in in can serve as a quick lunch when you really don't have the energy.
The best advice I can give is to pre-prepare meals in bulk, during those periods where you have the energy to do that. This doesn't need to be complex recipe making, you can throw soy chunks/fake chicken, rice, broccoli and soy/teriyaki sauce in a big pan and make enough for a few days in about 10-15 minutes. Meals like chili, pasta, curry, homemade soups and noodle dishes freeze pretty well so you only need to blast them in the microwave.
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For All Time, It Was Always You
Chapter 2: Mrs. Laufeyson
A/N: Thank you everyone for all of your positive comments! I really appreciate it, and hope you'll like this little continuation from the suburbs AU inspired partly by Wandavision.
Summary: After Loki leaves for work, you explore your new house and try to fit in with this world that feels too perfect to be real.
Pairing: Loki x Wife!Reader
Warnings: None really. Talk about 'traditional' gender roles. A surprise cameo. And silliness.
You waved goodbye, standing at the doorway as a black Chevrolet Bel Air departed from the house with Loki in the driver's seat. And like the doting wife that he thought you were, you blew a kiss in his direction.
When the car disappeared from your line of sight, you meandered into the sea green kitchen and filled a steel kettle with water, letting it sit on the stove the way a hen sat on her eggs. While the kettle grew hot, you searched the cabinets for tea bags,…and anything else that might help you understand this new, suburban world. A world in which you were the newlywed wife of a TVA employee who shared a name with the Norse God of Mischief.
Next to a box of Earl Grey Tea was an entire section of the cabinet dedicated to biscuits of various brands and flavors: chocolate Hobnobs, Jaffa cakes, McVitie's digestive biscuits, shortbread, Bourbon cookies, and Oreos. At least three, unopened tubes of Oreo cookies. Were all of these sweet treats for you, or for your - you couldn't believe you were actually using this word - husband?
With a shrug, you grabbed a tube of the Oreo cookies, ripped it open and started eating them one by one. Holding the blue wrapper in one hand, you continued searching through the other kitchen cabinets.
You found nothing but flour, brown sugar, white sugar, spices, marmite, extra virgin olive oil…, and two jars of strawberry jam from the same brand for some reason. And then, something next to a box of spaghetti caught your eye. A cookbook, with various pages dog-eared, titled Delicious Recipes For All Time, Always.
You blinked, carefully taking the book from the shelf. For All Time, Always? That's a weird title to call a cookbook…, a vague title as well. Inside the cover was a handwritten note, scribbled in blue pen.
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Congratulations on the wedding, Mrs. Laufeyson! Loki's a lucky guy.
-Mobius M. Mobius
So that's who Loki was talking about at breakfast. He mentioned cancelling plans with someone named 'Mobius'. Someone who was making him watch tedious videos at work today.
Jumping to the dog-eared pages of the cookbook, you came across various recipes: poached eggs, blueberry pancakes, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti bolognese, green bean casserole, Cumberbatch pie, curried chickpeas in coconut milk, angel food cake with strawberries and cream, chocolate mayonnaise cake…
Whiiiiiiieeee!
You whipped your head over your shoulder and immediately silenced the kettle's whistle, turning off the stove. Damnit, you went looking for tea bags and found yourself exploring everything except tea bags. Shaking your head, you shoved an Oreo into your mouth and opened the box of Earl Grey tea bags.
Then, you opened a cabinet filled with plates, bowls, and cups, grabbing a white ceramic mug for your tea bag. On the top shelf of the cabinet was a pastel blue gift box. While the tea bag steeped in hot water, you reached for the box using a chair as a makeshift stepping stool. Inside the gift box were two mugs labeled 'Mr.' and 'Mrs.' in gold calligraphy And like the cookbook, there was a handwritten note as well.
For all the mornings you'll have together. Congratulations to you both, Mr. and Mrs. Laufeyson! May the years ahead be filled with lasting love and happiness.
-Jeremy, Joyce, and Bill Hazeldine
With a gasp, you quickly closed the box and put it back on the shelf…only to open the box, taking another peek at the note. Mrs. Laufeyson...you underlined those words with your fingertip. Taking a deep breath, you put the box back on the shelf for good, promising to never use those mugs unless you were with Loki.
By this point, the tea was hot enough to be enjoyed but not scalding that it would burn your throat. You took a sip, relaxing in its warmth, holding the mug with both hands. "Mrs. Laufeyson", you repeated to yourself. You looked down at your left hand, the emerald ring still on your middle finger just the same way it was this morning.
After you finished drinking your tea and scarfing down the rest of the Oreo cookies in the container, you wandered into the living room. It was just across from the kitchen, a pastel yellow room with white bookshelves containing all kinds of hardcover and paper cover works. One would probably need an entire decade just to finish reading all the books kept inside the living room. You tilted your head and wondered which of the books were your husband's choice. But before you could sit down on one of the couches, you heard the doorbell ring.
"Who is it?" You asked, fixing your hair.
A light, female voice came from outside. "It's Joyce!" As you made your way to the front door, you caught a glimpse of yourself in mirror hanging in the hallway. Your hair was miraculously styled, and you were wearing a cute set of pajamas…It almost made you stand still for a moment just so you could admire how desirable you looked. No wonder your husband was so lovey-dovey this morning.
The doorbell rang again. Putting on your best smile, you dragged your feet towards the door and opened it.
Standing outside was a thin, middle-aged woman -presumably Joyce - with a bowl cut hairstyle, wearing a light blue shirt and straight-leg jeans. "Oh hello, dear. So good to see you again!" She gave you a warm smile and a hug, rocking you in her arms.
"Good to see you too, Joyce." You politely reciprocated her hug and let out a small laugh. "Thank you again for the mugs, they're lovely."
Joyce placed her hands on your arms for a moment, looking up at you. "I haven't seen you both since you came back from your honeymoon. Oh, look at you…" She marveled, "Married life seems to be treating you well."
"Thank you so much," you looked down, deciding to be as demure as possible, hoping they wouldn't ask too many questions about the honeymoon. "I…I couldn't be happier, Loki is so sweet to me." When your eyes met Joyce's, you touched the back of your neck. "I…He makes me feel like the luckiest lady in the world, Joyce."
Joyce quietly laughed with you. "You remember my son Bill, right?" Towering over Joyce was a lanky teenage boy with golden curls, blue eyes, and the face of an angel. He wore a grey t-shirt, worn-out jeans, and beat-up sneakers.
You reached out to shake his hand. "Of course I do," you lied. "Hi, Bill."
"Afternoon, Mrs. Laufeyson." Bill greeted you with a smile that could make London light up during a blackout. "Congratulations again."
"Thank you." You placed your left hand on your heart, showing off your wedding ring just a little. "How are you, Bill?"
"I'm alright, thank you." Bill nodded. "I've been working with the church, teaching Sunday school. Thought it'd be a nice way to spend my summer after my first year of college."
"That's very thoughtful of you."
"Thank you. I thought it would be good for my theology course to do something like that," Bill admitted before reaching into one of his jean pockets, procuring a small blue velvet box. "Actually, I have something for you, Mrs. Laufeyson."
You covered your mouth in disbelief. "Oh, Bill…"
"Please, take it." He extended the box to you. "I bought it for my former-girlfriend Jewel." Blinking, you gingerly accepted it, running your finger along the lid. "Former girlfriend…You broke up with her?"
Joyce intervened, "He had to do it, dear. She was nothing but trouble."
"I'm so sorry."
"No, I'm sorry." Bill shook his head. "I bought it for her a long time ago, but I suppose it was never meant to last. But, I really want to give it to someone. Please, consider it a belated wedding gift, Mrs. Laufeyson."
You smiled, opening the box to find a sterling silver bracelet. Simple, yet elegant. "Thank you, Bill. I'll treasure it. If you ever want to talk, or just stop by for some tea, the door will always be open for you."
"Thanks, Mrs. Laufeyson," he graciously said. "And I hope Jewel finds someone else who'll make her happy."
The three of you stood quietly outside your house before you spoke up. "Joyce, would you and Bill like to come inside for some tea?"
"Not today, dear. I'm so sorry, Bill's coming with me to do some errands. And I'm sure you might need to catch up on some sleep after such a busy honeymoon." Joyce teased you a little with the last bit. "Might only be a matter of time before you and Loki get a visit from the stork."
You laughed, looking down again. You remembered how Loki hugged you from behind this morning and teased you with the idea of "finishing what you started on the honeymoon". Almost instinctively, your free hand rested on your stomach.
"We should have dinner sometime, Loki and I would love to have you over, we can catch up," you blurted. Joyce enthusiastically agreed and said she and her husband would love that.
"Tomorrow night," Joyce promised. "Would seven-thirty be alright?"
"Absolutely!" You nodded, already imagining how to tell Loki when he came home from work. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"See you tomorrow." Joyce and Bill waved goodbye as they climbed into their car and drove off.
Something ached inside you as you watched them drive off, maybe because it reminded you of the way that Loki drove off this morning while you stood at the doorway waving goodbye. As you closed the door once again, you pondered over going out tomorrow, even if it was just something as small as a mid-morning stroll while Loki was out. But for now, there were other things that needed to be done.
Tagging: @anukulee @smolvenger @pineappleandro @lotsoflokilove23 @talklokitome @rumin8ting @12-pm-510 @painedfever @iambetterthanbefore @princess-ofthe-pages @thenotoriouserg @lokischambermaid @lokiismineforever @lokidbadguy @lokisgoodgirl @lokisprettygirl22 @holdmytesseract @wheredafandomat @wolfsmom1 @lovelysizzlingbluebird @evelyn-kingsley @muddyorbsblr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @icytrickster17 @thatdummy-girl @fantasyfan4life @huntress-artemiss @itsdoni @gruftiela @ellooo0ooo @ireallyneedtherapy @jennyggggrrr @turniptitaness @lokiforever
#loki#marvel loki#loki god of mischief#loki odinson#loki x reader#loki laufeyson#loki of asgard#mcu loki#loki x reader fluff#loki x reader fic
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