#scandal incorrect quotes

[superbat-love]

Daily Planet employee 1: Don’t you think Clark Kent and the new CEO have been quite… close lately?

Daily Planet employee 2: Yeah, they do seem to get along a lot better these days. I wonder…

Daily Planet employee 3: Shh, they’re coming this way! [pretends to be busy with her work]

Clark: Are you still feeling sore?

Bruce: No thanks to you slamming into me. A little warning would have been nice.

Clark: Sorry, I got caught up in the heat of it. At least it ended well for the both of us, right? And we got back here as fast as possible without anyone noticing.

Bruce: Don’t remind me. [wincing] Riding you was a bad idea.

Clark: But I made sure to move a bit slower so you’d feel more comfortable!

Bruce: It’s not about how fast you were moving, Clark, it’s about the position. I hate it.

Clark: Oh, come on, don’t be like that. We can try different positions next time. I could hold you up by the waist…

Bruce: [muttering] Should have just taken the jet…

Daily Planet employees: ?!!!

[thewrittenpodcast]

How i imagine Avengers family game night goes:

Peter: pay me my money

Sam: nnnnno

Nat: don't worry I have a gun

Peter: You have a gun??

Bucky: I have one too

Steve: NO

Steve: NO GUNS

[braxix]

Gil-Galad: No swearing around Elrond.

Galadriel: I can't say shit anymore?!

Celebrimbor: Aw, fuck.

Elrond: You bastard! Does that mean I can't fucking swear either?

[rusomnia]

[steph, bored on a stakeout]

steph: so. whats your opinion on the next dinosaur president?

tim, without hesitation: a pterodactyl would be good, but i dont wanna spell that out every day

[cod-dump]

Nik: Would you date Graves?

Price: I’d only date him so I could steal his money and leave him ruined

Nik: I’d date him to just ruin him

Price: God, Nik-

(Later)

Price: Nik…

Nik: Hmm?

Price: I think I just want to ruin him now

Nik: Oh? What changed?

Price, who had just watched Graves dance around in shorts while washing a tank with a bunch of Shadows: I just… thought about it

[sandbees]

Yuu: Mmmmm, tea.

Kalim: Oh, hey Yuu! What are you drinking?

Yuu: Sweet tea, it’s a popular drink where I’m from. Want to have a try?

Kalim: Sure! I can never say no to tea, especially if it’s sweet!

Kalim:

Kalim: Why is it cold?

Yuu: Because it’s sweet tea? Wh- Oh! Sorry Kalim, forgot to say that it’s iced. Kind of weird that no one ever thought to drink iced tea before- Kalim?

Kalim: This is…a disgrace! Who drinks tea cold?! Yuu, we need to make proper tea, stat!

Yuu: Wait, what?

Kalim: Don’t worry, Yuu! I’ll show you how to make proper sweet tea!

[bluesylveon2]

Lilia and Silver watching a movie together

Two characters in the movie kiss

Lilia covers Silver’s eyes

Silver: Father, I'm 17

Lilia: hush, you don't need to see this

[baker-street-boys]

I know I'm probably an idiot for just noticing this, but like Irene is married. idk that's kinda cool. I love lesbians. that's all.

[luneartt]

effie: mr. abernathy...

haymitch: oh for god's sake, we are so far behind the "mr abernathy" crap. just say my name.

effie: that's crossing the line. it would be inappropriate.

haymitch: then let's be inappropriate.

haymitch: say my name?

effie:

effie, quietly: haymitch

[catdoingblep]

Jesper: *talking shit about the merchers’ high society of Ketterdam and their questionable fashion choices in a random social event*

Wylan: Jesper, we are here not for gossiping *sipping wine* Did you see Boreg? The suit he is wearing is a crime worse than any crime Kaz has ever commited. The worst suit I've seen in my life so far, and I am living in the very same house with that purple monster you’ve bought last summer

Jesper: Yes, I know, right! Boreg is hilarious. How a person with money can even... Wait, what did you say about my purple suit?! You said you like it!

Wylan: Actually, I said that I’d like to take that suit off you... like in not seeing it on you anymore

Jesper with the most overdramatic facial expression: Wylan, I am deeply offended!

Jesper in two seconds: But you know who wears even worse outfit than Boreg? Just have a look at Schenck's wife!

[incorrect-star-allies]

Taranza: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

[thewrittenpodcast]

Ned: hey why you do that i was about to deliver killer opps to the power grade

MJ: you were about to shut down the Internet?

Ned: no I was about to DELETE the Internet

Peter: Fuck yes!!

Tony: nO-

Tony: I THOUGHT THIS WAS A POWERPOINT FOR IT CLASS

[uncorrectintamed]

Lan Qiren: Where's Wangji?

Lan Xichen: Don't worry, I'll find him.

Lan Xichen: Wei Ying is the worst!

Lan Wangji: Wei Ying is the best person ever, fuck you!

Lan Xichen: Found him.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

uu: CAN YOu DRAW SOMETHING FOR ME TO MASTuRBATE TO

TT: Sure.

TT: ■▲●

[sakshisahu]

[infinite-orangepeel]

*steddie about to leave for a dinner date*

eddie: god baby you’re such a slut for me, dressed like such a whore tonight

steve: *fully clothed in multiple layers with barely any skin showing* um thanks. but what about this is slutty exactly ?

eddie: steven, don’t act like you don’t know…

steve: oh my god it’s the glasses again—isn’t it ?

eddie: you bet its the glasses, you little slut

steve: YOU ARE INSANE OH MY GOD