#incorrect avengers quotes

[thewrittenpodcast]

Principal: unfortunately we had to call your mother in

Peter: may won't pick up

Principal: no not your aunt. your mother

Peter: i don't... have one?

Principal: says here one Viginia Potts is listed

Peter: i have never met a virginia in my life

Pepper, walking in: i was called

Peter:

Peter: your name is virginia?

Peter: my life is a lie

Peter: how can I go on

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

[headcanonthings]

Natasha: People keep calling Clint the epitome of a golden retriever. Natasha: He is not. Natasha: He is a raccoon that has been too socialized by people and now cannot be released back into the wild.

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: Getting up a 6am made me realize that 6am isn’t a place it’s an emotion

Tony: 6am isn’t a place at all

Peter: That’s because it’s an emotion

[incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes]

Tony: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

[slavicshadownr]

Yelena: *Carrying all the groceries in both arms*

Kate: *Reaches out to help*

Yelena: *Switches all the groceries to one arm to holds Kate’s hand*

Kate: that’s not what I- ok

[totallyaccurateavengersquotes]

TONY: Stephen and I--

PETER: Are getting married?

STEPHEN: No, we--

HARLEY, PULLING OUT A GIANT BINDER: Sit down. We've planned out the entire thing.

[westannatasharomanoff]

Laura, to Clint: Help me get the kids in the car. Cooper! Lila! Come on! The whole family is going to the spaghetti hut for dinner!

Natasha: I guess I better go, then.

Laura: Where are you going?

Natasha: What?

Laura: I said the whole family. Get in the car.

[incorrectmarvels]

Loki: I can explain.

Thor: Can you?

Loki: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

[incorrect-assvengers]

Peter: 11 year old me would think current me is insane

Harley: He'd be right

Harley: 11 year old me would call current me a slur

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: you can't ground me

Tony: can. Did. It's done you're grounded

Peter: but-

Pepper: no arguments you're grounded

Peter, saluting: yes ma'am Ms. Potts i am going to rethink my life in my room now

Tony:

Tony: HOW

[loislame84]

Natasha, holding out the phone: Yelena, it’s your girlfriend.

Yelena, grabbing the phone: Kate Bishop is not my girlfriend. How many times do I have to tell you this?

Yelena, answers the phone: how is my little hawk doing today?

Natasha: at least once more.

[headcanonthings]

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: I accidentally ate MJ’s sandwich… How long do you think I have to live?

Ned: Ten

Peter: Ten what?

Ned: Nine

[squilfmybeloved]

my fav odd avengers besties as incorrect quotes <33

tony: there is something SERIOUSLY wrong-

t'challa: yes, there is something seriously wrong with you.

tony: WITH GIVING A GROWN MAN MOTRIN.

t'challa: IT'S A- A BRAND NAME???

tony: I AM NOT ON MY CYCLE.

t'challa: IT'S IBUPROFEN!

---

clint: have you been drinking??

bucky: chlorophyll.

---

[in london, after peter gets hit by a fucking train]

tony: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?? GET IN THE CAR

peter: I 👏 WAS 👏 ATTACKED 👏

[slavicshadownr]

Phil: Agent Romanoff what are you doing? Natasha: Wrapping Barton’s desk in Saran Wrap. Phil: Uh why? Natasha: He stole my one of my knives. Phil: Couldn’t you have just taken it back? Natasha: I couldn’t find it so I removed all sharp objects from the office so he has to either unwrap it by hand or use my knife. He’s a dumbass so he’ll use my knife which is when I will steal it back and he is left to unwrap it by hand as punishment for stealing my knife in the first place. Phil: That is actually genius. Natasha: Yes. It is.