#incorrect avengers quotes

[fruityspaceboy]

Loki: …

Y/N: *raises an eyebrow skeptically* ... why are you being so quiet?

Loki: *failing to sound convincing* Well… I'm pregnant.

Y/N: *raises eyebrow higher* No, you're not... What did you do?

Loki: I may or may have not… gotten a kitten…

Y/N: Whut?

Loki: *brings out a rather weird looking kitten*

Y/N: *slightly shock but unsurprised* Is… is that a Flerken?

Loki: *is grinning like an idiot* It's a kitten.

Y/N: *realization hits him* oh my fucking Hel, that's a Flerken. Where did You find A bloody Flerken?

Loki: *insistent* IT'S A KITTEN ~

Y/N: *useless reasoning* It literally has tentacles! It’s stomach is basically a bag of holding!

*A couple seconds of Silence*

Loki: *starting to grin again* We gonna keep it tho, yeah?

Y/N: *now grinning too* Don’t know, why you even ask. Heck yeah we gonna keep it.

Loki: And we’re gonna name it Hannibal.

[headcanonthings]

Loki: Trust me Bruce: I wouldn't trust you to tie my shoes without stealing the laces

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Thor: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk?

Loki: The final boss.

You: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?

Thor: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

[thewrittenpodcast]

Principal: unfortunately we had to call your mother in

Peter: may won't pick up

Principal: no not your aunt. your mother

Peter: i don't... have one?

Principal: says here one Viginia Potts is listed

Peter: i have never met a virginia in my life

Pepper, walking in: i was called

Peter:

Peter: your name is virginia?

Peter: my life is a lie

Peter: how can I go on

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

[incorrectbuckynatquotes]

Natasha: Sit down, i'm gonna torture you now

Bucky, smirking: Kinky.

Natasha: I think you're sweet and beautiful.

Bucky: What—

Natasha: You deserve to be cared for.

Bucky: Stop, now—

Natasha: Your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard.

Bucky: I NEED A SAFE WORD!!!

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: Getting up a 6am made me realize that 6am isn’t a place it’s an emotion

Tony: 6am isn’t a place at all

Peter: That’s because it’s an emotion

[incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes]

Tony: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

[slavicshadownr]

Yelena: *Carrying all the groceries in both arms*

Kate: *Reaches out to help*

Yelena: *Switches all the groceries to one arm to holds Kate’s hand*

Kate: that’s not what I- ok

[westannatasharomanoff]

Laura, to Clint: Help me get the kids in the car. Cooper! Lila! Come on! The whole family is going to the spaghetti hut for dinner!

Natasha: I guess I better go, then.

Laura: Where are you going?

Natasha: What?

Laura: I said the whole family. Get in the car.

[totallyaccurateavengersquotes]

TONY: Stephen and I--

PETER: Are getting married?

STEPHEN: No, we--

HARLEY, PULLING OUT A GIANT BINDER: Sit down. We've planned out the entire thing.

[squilfmybeloved]

my fav odd avengers besties as incorrect quotes <33

tony: there is something SERIOUSLY wrong-

t'challa: yes, there is something seriously wrong with you.

tony: WITH GIVING A GROWN MAN MOTRIN.

t'challa: IT'S A- A BRAND NAME???

tony: I AM NOT ON MY CYCLE.

t'challa: IT'S IBUPROFEN!

---

clint: have you been drinking??

bucky: chlorophyll.

---

[in london, after peter gets hit by a fucking train]

tony: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?? GET IN THE CAR

peter: I 👏 WAS 👏 ATTACKED 👏

[headcanonthings]

Bucky: So I've seen you spending a lot of time with Wilson recently Steve: Its not what it looks like Bucky: Oh really? So no reason to be jealous? Steve: No you're the only one for me Bucky: Is that so? Steve: I promise. Sam and I are just dating ok? Bucky: So there are no best friend feelings involved? Steve: You are still my one and only best friend. They're just the love of my life ok? Sam: Clint: *witnessed a similar conversation when he started dating Bucky* Clint, handing Sam a cup of coffee: Welcome to the club, bird bro.

[karmaspidr]

Hela: Give up, brother! You and your pathetic Avengers have failed. Kneel now and I will grant you a quick death.

Thor: Muttering and not paying attention

Hela: Are you even listening?!

Thor: ...and shall therefore possess, for a limited time only, the power... of THOR!!!

Gold lightning shoots out and strikes the Avengers. They stand, fully healed and with the power gifted to them dancing across their bodies.

Clint: Oh I can get used to this.

Tony: Power at 10,000%. Not bad.

Natasha: Let's see her shrug this off.

Hulk: Hehe. It tingles.

Steve: What's the plan, Thor?

Thor: Avengers...

Hela: ...fuck.

Thor: Assemble!!!

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: you can't ground me

Tony: can. Did. It's done you're grounded

Peter: but-

Pepper: no arguments you're grounded

Peter, saluting: yes ma'am Ms. Potts i am going to rethink my life in my room now

Tony:

Tony: HOW

[incorrectmarvels]

Loki: I can explain.

Thor: Can you?

Loki: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.