#incorrect loki quotes

[annmaximoff18]

Loki, holding a price scanner: you see how i can’t scan myself?

Loki: it’s cause i’m priceless :D

Y/N: or you’re not worth anything

Loki:

Loki: listen here you little shit

[youretellingmethisdidnthappen]

Loki: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Y/N: I think you mean cards.

Loki, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

[a-stone-in-flight]

[lulubelle814]

me: *sigh*

Loki: Is everything alright?

me: My brain has been fucking with me since last night

Loki: how so?

me: like i'm out of emotional spoons and i have no idea when they'll be restocked

Loki: Have you considered sporks, perhaps? Good enough as spoons, but they're also stabby

@vbecker10 @lowkey-lokid @lokilaufeysondiaries

[incorrectmarvels]

Loki: I can explain.

Thor: Can you?

Loki: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

[lovelyinspiration1463]

Thor: I was once arrested for being too cool.

Loki: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

[fruityspaceboy]

Tony: *panicking* What the fuck are you two doing?

Y/N: *smiling like an idiot* We're blooping Tones, he loves it, look! Y/N: *continues poking Loki's blue cheeks while saying 'bloop' with each poke*

Tony: *screaming* He's a fucking Ice-Giant Y/N! He's dangerous! *tries to come towards you*

Loki: *stretches one of his long arms out to keep Tony from coming too close to the both of you and growls*

Y/N: He's not dangerous, protective maybe but he would never hurt me.

Y/N: *uses hands to squish Lokis cheeks and make his face look funny and squished together*

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Mobius: Please, Loki, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this.

Mobius: I’m sorry Loki.

Mobius: I’m begging you. Don’t do it.

Loki: It has to be done.

Mobius:

Loki:

Mobius:

Loki: *Places +4* Uno.

[floilee]

Loki: I have an army!

Kate: We have Yelena!

Loki: You didn't mean the "Hulk"?

Bruce: Oh no, believe it, the big guy is scared to death of her.

Loki:

Natasha holding tears: I'm so proud of my little sister!

[thescapegoatgod]

He's so emo.

P. S please don't tag this with mcu tags.

[aleksmaximoff]

Loki S2 as tweets:

bonus:

[annmaximoff18]

Y/N: Pass me the ketchup.

Loki: What’s the magic word?

Y/N: Or else.

Loki: That’s my girl.

[marveliciousloki]

Y/N: I flirt with Loki? He's alright. I hold his hand? Man's a mess. Y/N: I make out with him? It's perfectly fine. But if I cup his cheeks and kiss his nose? He’s inconsolable. Y/N: Why does simple affection break him?

Source

[a-stone-in-flight]

[taw-k]

Thor: haha, my brother's so forgetful

Thor: sometimes he even forgets how to breathe!

Loki: *having a panic attack*

Thor: don't worry he does this all the time

[lokiusincorrectquotes]

Loki, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fuckin’ ice Mobius, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!