#incorrect captain america
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1luna1lovegood1 · 6 months ago
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Clint: WHY AREN'T THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS? !
Natasha : so like, everything is the same as a kids' playground but bigger!
Clint : yeah, why don't we have those?!
Steve : they are called theme parks.
Clint: but you have to PAY for theme parks!
Steve: that's the adult part.
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thewrittenpodcast · 6 months ago
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How i imagine Avengers family game night goes:
Peter: pay me my money
Sam: nnnnno
Nat: don't worry I have a gun
Peter: You have a gun??
Bucky: I have one too
Steve: NO
Steve: NO GUNS
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i-a-q · 3 months ago
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Bucky: Why do you always look at me like that?
Steve: Like what?
Bucky: Like you’re scared I’ll disappear again.
Steve: *quietly* ... Because I am.
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incorrectmcuquotess · 4 months ago
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Steve: All right. Start with a hundred push-ups!
Clint: All right, cool. How many do you want me to do?
Steve: A hundred.
Clint: Oh, I thought that was a figure of speech, "A hundred push-ups." Like, "do a bazillion push-ups." No one can do a hundred.
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marvelnatasha · 2 years ago
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Steve: Are you mad?
Bucky: No.
Steve: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?
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i-au-a-q · 3 months ago
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Hydra!Peter
Steve: Wait, Hydra made you?
Peter: Yup. Spider powers and all.
Sam: Why aren’t you more messed up?
Steve: Sam!
Peter: I eat a lot of pizza. Helps balance things out.
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years ago
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Steve: Why are you eating tofu?
Bucky: I'm trying to convince Sam I'm a vegan
Steve: Why?
Bucky: I've been stealing his chicken from the fridge and if I'm vegan, he can't accuse me of stealing it
Steve: Why not just buy your own chicken, Buck?
Bucky: this is much more fun, watch
Sam: Okay! I have had enough! WHO THE HELL! IS EATING MY GOD DAMN CHICKEN!?
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skylarinfinity · 1 year ago
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[bucky and male reader came across zombie captain america when they try to find survivors]
bucky : [notice zombie captain america and tap male reader shoulder] male reader, get ready-
male reader : [turn and see zombie captain america] bless his heart, he hasn't changed a bit.
[zombie captain america throw his shield towards male reader and bucky but missed]
male reader : [click his tongue] ah just like he was when we dated... brainless.
bucky : [panicking, try to avoid zombie captain america attack] male reader, not now!!
tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy
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incorrectmarvels · 2 years ago
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Steve: I have a plan.
Fury: It can’t involve overthrowing the government.
Natasha: Okay well-
Fury: It also can’t involve murder.
Natasha and Steve: We have no plan.
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topknott · 2 years ago
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Steve: We call that a traumatic experience.
Steve, turning to Harley: Not a "bruh moment".
Steve, turning to Shuri: Not "sadge".
Steve, turning to Peter: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
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incorrect-wandanat · 2 years ago
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Steve: No offense but-
Peter: Oh well this is going to offend.
Steve: I haven’t even-
Peter: All of my pseudo-parents are team Iron Man. I can’t support you.
Steve: Your pseudo-parents? What about Wanda?!?
Peter, hugs Wanda: She repented.
Wanda, tearful: That’s right. I fell face first into Natasha’s boobs and never looked back.
Steve: Damn it! Next time I’m just going to offend.
Peter: I think you already have, Steven.
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1luna1lovegood1 · 7 months ago
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Bucky: *messages the boys at 3am*
Peter : *replies back soon after*
Steve: What the fuck are you doing awake, go to sleep
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thewrittenpodcast · 7 months ago
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Clint and Natasha, frozen and staring at each other across the counter:
Bruce: this is so creepy
Tony: how long have they been like this
Peter: about an hour
Steve: what happened
Peter: he stole her chips
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i-a-q · 3 months ago
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Tony: *after a long day* We’re not solving any more problems today, team.
Steve: But—
Tony: Nope. I declare today a non-solving problems day. No one is allowed to be productive until further notice.
Peter: Can we order pizza then?
Tony: *sighs* Yeah, that counts as not solving anything. Let’s go with that.
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marvelsarchiveofdumb · 2 years ago
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Sam, to Bucky: you got hair that long and you can't braid? that's embarrassing
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painted-doe · 1 year ago
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