#incorrect steve rogers

[ironshieldchild]

a little something i made lmao

[hurtspideyparker]

Tony going to bed at 6 am crossing paths with Steve waking up for the day:

Steve: Oh hey Tony, you're up early

Tony: Y'know me, early bird gets the worm. And I... am a well adjusted member of bird-ciety.

Steve: Okay then... did you wanna join me on my morning run? It's great, really sets a productive tone for the rest of the day

Tony: Well I totally would except I'd rather be doing anything else

Steve: (• - •)

Tony:

Tony: Anyways, nice seeing you buddy. I'm going to go do some productive morning... lunges... for the next few hours

*Tony pats Steve on the back and goes to his bedroom*

Steve: What an odd morning routine. But this must be why he's so hard-working, always starting early and balancing his day well. I admire his work ethic!

*Walks down the hall and passes Tony's open bedroom door, where he's starfished on top of the covers dead asleep and snoring obnoxiously*

Steve: Oh thank god, that makes way more sense.

[randomstuffjustrandom]

Surrounded by Assassins

Steve, being righteous or smth: If you kill a killer, the total number of killers remain the same.

Bucky, mouth full of cereal: Kill 2.

Clint, coming out of the vents: Not if you were already a killer.

Natasha, bored: Then just kill yourself.

Bonus:

Steve, face palms: oh my god! That’s not the point.

Tony, nonchalant: What did you expect? You’re surrounded by assassins.

[thewrittenpodcast]

How i imagine Avengers family game night goes:

Peter: pay me my money

Sam: nnnnno

Nat: don't worry I have a gun

Peter: You have a gun??

Bucky: I have one too

Steve: NO

Steve: NO GUNS

[i-a-q]

Bucky: Why do you always look at me like that?

Steve: Like what?

Bucky: Like you’re scared I’ll disappear again.

Steve: *quietly* ... Because I am.

[mamaspidershit]

Peter: Hi, I'm Spider-Man, sarcasm and one liners department. Steve: Terrific, and you are? Natasha: Black Widow. Applied violences.

[1luna1lovegood1]

Bucky: *messages the boys at 3am*

Peter : *replies back soon after*

Steve: What the fuck are you doing awake, go to sleep

[stuckydrewx]

Steve and Bucky as George Michael's tweets :))

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Bucky, to Tony: Those pants are great. And I bet they’d look even better on Steve’s floor. Steve: Are you hitting on Tony... for me?

Bucky: Well you weren’t doing anything about it, punk.

[ironrad]

Clint who just learned a new game from his kids:

Clint: Alright guys we’re all going to pass the phone around and say who we’d warn someone about before coming to the Avengers compound

Clint: I’ll start. Personally, I would warn people about Tony because I never know what he’s up to in that lab…

Nat: What are we doing? Oh ok, I’d warn people about Peter. He acts innocent, but I see right through it…

Tony: You want my honest answer? Steve. Next question-

Steve: Um maybe all of us because we have powers and can be dangerous when crossed.

Steve: That wasn’t the question? Ok, fine, I’d warn them about Queens. He scares me sometimes…

Bucky whispering: …Peter.

Sam: Why did you whisper that?

Bucky: He’s always listening.

Sam: Yikes, anyways, I’m gonna go with Bucky.

Bucky: Hey-

Bruce: Hi! I’m Bruce Banner, and I think I would warn people about Peter and Tony. Alone they’re both trouble, and together they’re a train wreck, but the good kind. Hang on-

Peter: Oh EZ, I’ve seen this on Tik Tok. Mr. Stark, no questions asked. That guy is everywhere all the time. I can’t get shit-

Steve: Language.

Peter: Sorry! I can’t get anything over on him.

Happy: Peter and Tony.

Thor: Ah, yes, hello. I would warn them of ME.

Thor spinning his hammer and chugging a keg:

Stephen: Tony. I try to avoid him at all costs.

Pepper: Awe thank you for including me. I’d warn them of my husband and his teenager…sometimes I need an extra warning.

The Avengers watching back the footage:

Tony: I’ve done nothing but be a pleasant member of this team.

Peter: Yeah, sounds about right.

[svetlanabeilschmidtannon]

Why steve dosent borrow y/ns laptop

Steve:the porn on your computer...made my jaw drop

Y/n*confused*what?

Steve*walks away with a cup of coffee*

*she checked her laptop notice that its set to where she left it . Little later sees the tabs *

*Tumblr

*Ao3

*Wattpad

Y/n*inhales* no sh*t *bookmarks and close tabs mumbling*he will be ok

Tony:did you freeze on the way out

Steve:im not borrowing her laptop 🥲😳

Tony:saw something

Steve:fanfic Smutt

Tony:you know they are manuals

[ironshieldchild]

you guys asked for more of these

[marvelnatasha]

Steve: Are you mad?

Bucky: No.

Steve: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

[thewrittenpodcast]

Clint and Natasha, frozen and staring at each other across the counter:

Bruce: this is so creepy

Tony: how long have they been like this

Peter: about an hour

Steve: what happened

Peter: he stole her chips

[i-a-q]

Tony: *after a long day* We’re not solving any more problems today, team.

Steve: But—

Tony: Nope. I declare today a non-solving problems day. No one is allowed to be productive until further notice.

Peter: Can we order pizza then?

Tony: *sighs* Yeah, that counts as not solving anything. Let’s go with that.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Bucky: what happened to you?

Steve: There was this asshole in an alleyway and I tried to fight him so I said "life is short! Smile while you still have teeth"

Bucky: why

Steve: I thought it was a cool line

Bucky: That would be a good line if you could actually knock anyones teeth out

Steve: *smiles to show a missing tooth and a chipped tooth* i did break some teeth, actually

Bucky: you just need to work on your aim