#incorrect stony

[joetavis]

The first text Steve gets on the flip phone, after he was falsly declared dead by TMZ

(I stole this idea from @sasukesun)

[ironshieldchild]

a little something i made lmao

[definitelyincorrect]

Steve: Tony, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.

Tony: Ooh, someone’s in trouble. It’s me. I don’t know why I did that.

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Bucky, to Tony: Those pants are great. And I bet they’d look even better on Steve’s floor. Steve: Are you hitting on Tony... for me?

Bucky: Well you weren’t doing anything about it, punk.

[rrcenic]

in the honor of my marvel obsession creeping back to me + my family being in disneyland and exploring avengers campus, have some ✨avengers incorrect quotes✨ as things my friends and family have said

a shit ton of these were conversations between @cissyenthusiast010155 and i lmao

-

peter: indulge in my child-like whimsy. buy me a web slinger

-

steve: is that an igloo over there??

peter: …it’s a hippie house?

tony: did you hear about the hippie states wife?

steve: why on earth is there a hippie house in the cars theme park?!

tony: babe. did you hear about the hippie states wi-

peter: what’s the hippie state?

tony: the hippie states wife is mississippi!

steve: what on earth are you talking abou-

tony: like,,, mrs. hippie?? mississippi?

steve: …

peter: …

tony: …

tony: i thought it was funny

-

tony: “i can do this all day”? that’s what she said

steve: SHHHHHH!!!

natasha: ooh, you’ve finally been shushed

-

loki: a kid ran in front of me and my reaction was “broken child!”

steve: wHAT?!

loki: i didn’t say it out loud!!!

-

scott: please sir, you don’t understand, if i don’t get my 20 dollar sunglasses back, my children will die

-

peggy: i support neil patrick harris being gay

natasha: peg, you’re a lesbian

peggy: yes, but i am an ally to his gayness

natasha: you are gay

-

peter: they should let me stay up late. because. if they don’t it would be…

ned: transphobic?

peter: YES

-

bucky: i smelled grass! and now i want some!

steve: you want to eat grass?!

bucky: absolutely

-

peter: and they were LAB PARTNERS

harley: oh my gawd they were lab partners

-

tony: i want shawarma

steve: i want to go to sleep

tony: it’s only 4 pm

steve: and?

-

steve: oh, this boba pearl is stuck in the ice…

bucky: just like captain america!

tony: aaaah, good one

-

mj: “what kind of girl do you want” a red one

peter: …

peter: are we talking about cars????

-

thor: i don’t understand the scientific physics

bruce: the what

-

peter: please bring back the cheese man

tony: that could really mean any of us

-

*at their first meet up in a while*

natasha: yknow, i’m just now being reminded of the fact that i hate half the people here

-

bucky: i hate will ferrell

sam: how can anyone hate will ferrell?!

bucky: well, i liked him in barbie

sam: and he was funny in the lego movie!

bucky: true, he was awesome in that

sam: oh, he was also megamind!

bucky: yes! i loved him with that

sam: you don’t actually hate will ferrell, do you?

bucky: …

sam: you just hate elf

bucky: …i just hate elf

-

steve: “rogers: the musical” can only be described as feeling like bad fanfiction

tony: isn’t it amazing

-

*playing heads up, prompt “avengers: civil war”*

peter: when! when the divorce!

scott: ant man’s first fight!

natasha: when everyone decided they didn’t like each other anymore!

-

harley: oh, c3p0 and r2d2 are a gay couple!

peter: duh??? did you just realize that???

[skylarinfinity]

male reader : [telling random bartender about his love life] i fall in love with mustache guy, the guy he attached to isn't my favourite... but i willing to take one for the team!

steve : [sighed] male reader, you know me and tony can hear you right?

tony : [laughing] to be honest, i am myself not interesting at the guys i attached to...

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes]

[phone ringing]

Natsha: Yes?

Harley: It's us. Is Tony there with that guy Rhodey set him up with?

Natasha: They're here. And it's not good. Stephen is super-hot.

Peter: Oh my God, I hate Stephen so much.

Harley: Natasha, you and Bucky need to ruin this date. Just spill their drinks on them. Oh, tell lies about Tony. Just do whatever you need to get rid of this guy.

Natasha: On it. [hangs up, to Bucky] Get me a burger!

[Avengers Tower]

Harley: We need to find Steve and make him do something about his feelings.

Peter: He went to that TaskRabbit gig. We have no idea where he is.

Harley: He was walking. He can't be that far.

[rjjameshiii]

Fury: Why is Captain Rogers lying facedown on the floor? Steve, indeed facedown on the floor: ... Natasha: Tony gave him a genuine smile. Steve, weakly: I need a moment... Fury: Ah, I see. Carry on then.

[xxtgtgt]

[julunibalism]

Tony: Sometimes you just have to grab your world by the balls.

Tony: *Walks over to Steve and grabs his balls*

[joetavis]

Tony: When your hands come close to my face like this, I'm never sure whether you're gonna strangle or kiss me

Steve: To be fair it's pretty much a last second decision every time

[ironshieldchild]

you guys asked for more of these

[definitelyincorrect]

Tony: You are the love of my life. I would do absolutely anything for you.

Steve: I want you to eat three meals a day, have a decent sleep schedule, reduce your coffee intake, and love and appreciate yourself.

Tony: Absolutely not.

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Fury: Captain Rogers. My office.

Tony, to Steve: Uh oh. He probably wants to talk to you about how your shirts aren't tight enough. Probably.

[madmadammims]

Stony Writing prompt/request

I have never in my life done anything like this but I’ve always looked for this kind of story and never found it and I’ve had two cocktails - I’m giving no fucks atm so here goes:

I’ve always held the belief that Tony and Steve’s relationship would never be huge love confessions. They weren’t that way with the women in their lives and I’m positive they would be even more reserved with each other. I don’t think Tony would have been with men before. I don’t think Steve would have either. I think the attraction to each other would catch them both off guard. I think they would pretend it wasn’t what it was.

I think, due to how they behave with one another in the movies (with the sexual tension present in spite of their dynamics) I think they would be physical long before they made even small declarations of emotions with each other.

I think they’d be intimate With few words spoken to each other but crazy thoughts whirring in their brain. At least in the beginning.

I think they should be represented as the movies attempted to portray. With Tony as Steve’s physical equal (at least in stature and build).

I think Steve would be every bit the blushing goody two shoes in the sack as they made him out to be. But stay stoic and deserved in regular conversations.

Could …. Could someone write about that . Obviously smut. Lots of smut. But in the context of two men silently not being able to fight feelings that they take some time coming to terms with. L fighting those feelings all while silently giving into them. Deflecting with loyalty and humor in line with how their characters handle everything?

That’s all. Thank you for listening or reblogging so it gets to a willing author.

[hurtspideyparker]

In a timeline where Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lives in the compound:

Steve, walking into the living room: Don't worry Buck I think you'll really fit in around here. Everyone is super nice

Peter: Oh my god you're living here too?! Can I please look at your arm? Please please please please please-

Bucky: *turns around and leaves*

-

Clint: So... wanna test if your spider-sense defeats my perfect aim?

Peter: Oh my god do I ever

Tony & Steve: NO.

-

Peter: Hi. Big fan. Y'know we're like a spider duo. Crime fighting spiders. Arachnid pals

Natasha, staring blankly:

Peter: Web friends? SPY-ders?

Natasha:

Peter: Spinneret associates?

Natasha: Leave.

Peter: Yes okay sorry ma'am

-

During a meal:

Bucky: *glaring at Sam*

Sam: Ay Rogers come get your dog

Steve: Bucky, leave it

Bucky: *glares down at soup instead*

-

Peter: Mr. Rogers could you help me with my homework?

Tony: What the hell kid, I'm right here

Bruce: I have... so many degrees

Steve: Hey I know a thing or two myself. Sure Queens, what do you got?

Peter: Great! I'm just gonna ask some questions for my essay. What would you say the role of war propaganda was in your decision to enroll in the military? Was being poor a factor? Actually, how was the Great Depression for you?

Steve: Less depressing than this conversation.

-

Steve: Take a jacket, it's chilly

Wanda: Okay thanks dad

Steve:

Wanda:

Peter: Ha! That's so embarrassing, it's like calling your teacher dad

Wanda: Shut up Peter, you call Tony dad all the time

Peter: Yeah but I do it on purpose so it's not embarrassing. I'm very open about my daddy issues

-

Tony: I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth

Steve:

Tony: Looking at me with your angelic blue eyes, like a freak

Steve:

Tony: Stupid Dorito ass build. Making me wanna take a bite

Steve: I feel harassed but I'm not sure what kind

-

Natasha: Hey bird brain!

Clint and Sam both turn:

Natasha: Hm, that's a problem. You have thirty seconds to decide who gets bird brain. The other will be feather head

Clint and Sam: *start arguing*

Tony: I can't believe they're fighting to be called an insult

Steve: She has that effect on people

Peter: Aw man, I wish the Black Widow gave me a nickname :(

-

Peter: Hey old man

Bucky:

Peter: I'M SO SORRY SIR MR. WILSON MADE ME DO IT PLEASE DONT KILL ME

Sam: *cackling in the background*

Bucky: *stands up and turns to Sam*

Sam: Oh shit- kid you're not getting the money if you're gonna snitch!

Peter: That's okay, I'd like to think my life is worth more than twenty bucks

-

Bucky: I need your... help

Tony: Sure, what's up?

Bucky: *glances back at Steve who stands in the doorway and nods approvingly*

Bucky: Arm.

Tony: Ok... this conversation is killing you isn't it?

Bucky:

Tony: Say please

Bucky: Nope can't do it-

Steve: Do I need to get out the get-along shirt?

*Bucky and Tony share a look of alarm*

Bucky: Please fix my arm

Tony: Yep of course no problem buddy

-

Read Part 2 and Part 3