#incorrect spiderman
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spideyspetertingle · 1 year ago
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Peter: Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good. Stark: Underoos, you CANNOT use our collective trauma to get out of school
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incorrectmcuquotess · 4 months ago
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Tony: Sometimes I think you were bred in a lab to help people.
Peter: You know what else they bred in a lab?
Tony: Steve.
Peter: I was gonna say pugs…
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floilee · 5 months ago
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Kate: Come on Pet, don't be so naive
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marvel-lous-guy · 1 year ago
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Tony: The compound has been quiet recently. It's both unsettling and refreshing
Peter: Its not been quiet, you just haven't left your lab for 76 hours
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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year ago
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Bucky: OK, who has experience with a kid that thinks he can save the world singlehandedly?
Avengers:
Bucky: Now everybody shut up and let me handle Peter.
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cardinalcheerio · 4 months ago
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Peter: What type of Popsicles do you like?
Tony: I'm not a big popsicle person.
Peter: so you like small Popsicles?
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skylarinfinity · 1 year ago
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[spiderman save m/n from burning building]
spiderman: [making sure m/n don't have any injuries] you okay- [looking at my eyes] are you okay?
m/n: [nods] i'm okay pete-
spiderman: [gasp] how do you know- [clear his throat] i mean who pete?
m/n: [chuckle] pete, i am your neighbor... i see every time you swinging out of bedroom window.
spiderman: [get distracted] “pete, i am your neighbor” almost the same as “luke, i am your father”... [get excited] are you making star wars reference?!
m/n: [shake his head] spidey, go save other people!
spiderman: oh- oh yeah! [swing back into the building]
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tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy
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shadow-coolness · 6 days ago
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*What If*
Venom: Uh, excuse us! Why do you look like us?
Spawn: I don't look like you! You look like me! Why do you look like me?!
Venom: Ok, you know what? We'll ask the questions, Mr.Red Cape! Who are you?! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE US?!
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topknott · 2 years ago
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Steve: We call that a traumatic experience.
Steve, turning to Harley: Not a "bruh moment".
Steve, turning to Shuri: Not "sadge".
Steve, turning to Peter: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
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stuckysknife · 2 years ago
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Matt: Alright, Spider-Man, be safe out there. I'll see you around.
Peter [joking]: Unless you go blind!
Matt:
Peter:
Matt:
Peter: wait-
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spideyspetertingle · 1 year ago
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Aunt May: We love having you around MJ, you're welcome any time. Heck, let me give you a house key, pop in whenever! MJ: Thank you, May! Peter: ...I don't even have a house key.
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incorrectmcuquotess · 4 months ago
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Peter: This is the worst day of my life.
Tony, trying and failing to be comforting: The worst day of your life, so far.
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floilee · 4 months ago
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Kate: My love, don't you think you've had enough to drink?
Yelena: I'm just helping the kids, Kate Bishop.
Peter: How is you drinking help the kids?
Yelena: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
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marvel-lous-guy · 1 year ago
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Peter: hypothetically, if a bullet went through my stomach, would it be considered one hole or two
Tony: exactly how hypothetical is this?
Peter: *blood gushing out a wound he's badly trying to put pressure on* I don't know what you mean
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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year ago
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Loki puts poison in peters drink.
Peter: *sips coffee*
Loki:
Peter: *finishes coffee*
Loki: Didn't the coffee taste weird?
Peter: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I
drank it all.
Loki: Alright, let me go get the antidote
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thatoneguyinthechair · 2 years ago
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King Peter Quacker
Peter, hungover: Please tell me I imagined claiming to be the king of all ducks. Harley: I would, but then I'd be committing treason by lying to the king of all ducks.
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