#incorrect spiderman

[spideyspetertingle]

Peter: Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good. Stark: Underoos, you CANNOT use our collective trauma to get out of school

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Tony: Sometimes I think you were bred in a lab to help people.

Peter: You know what else they bred in a lab?

Tony: Steve.

Peter: I was gonna say pugs…

[floilee]

Kate: Come on Pet, don't be so naive

[marvel-lous-guy]

Tony: The compound has been quiet recently. It's both unsettling and refreshing

Peter: Its not been quiet, you just haven't left your lab for 76 hours

[cardinalcheerio]

Peter: What type of Popsicles do you like?

Tony: I'm not a big popsicle person.

Peter: so you like small Popsicles?

[1luna1lovegood1]

Bucky: OK, who has experience with a kid that thinks he can save the world singlehandedly?

Avengers:

Bucky: Now everybody shut up and let me handle Peter.

[spider-mandaily]

Miles: Oook so whatcha expecting for Christmas Pete?

Peter: Scars, bruises, 120 broken bones, boogers in my mask and new enemies... Maybe?

Miles: .... Well that's one way of... You know? Celebrating Christmas?

Peter: Oh and I forgot... [Showing Miles a video of J. Jonah Jameson]

J.J.J: TODAY IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND AS USUAL THIS SPIDER-MENACE MUST BE OUT THERE RUINING EVERYONE'S HAPPINESS! AND THEY SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS?! HOW CAN WE HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS WHEN THAT MENACE IS RUINING-

Miles: .....

Peter: Yeah couldn't find a better to celebrate Christmas!

[skylarinfinity]

[spiderman save m/n from burning building]

spiderman: [making sure m/n don't have any injuries] you okay- [looking at my eyes] are you okay?

m/n: [nods] i'm okay pete-

spiderman: [gasp] how do you know- [clear his throat] i mean who pete?

m/n: [chuckle] pete, i am your neighbor... i see every time you swinging out of bedroom window.

spiderman: [get distracted] “pete, i am your neighbor” almost the same as “luke, i am your father”... [get excited] are you making star wars reference?!

m/n: [shake his head] spidey, go save other people!

spiderman: oh- oh yeah! [swing back into the building]

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[shadow-coolness]

*What If*

Venom: Uh, excuse us! Why do you look like us?

Spawn: I don't look like you! You look like me! Why do you look like me?!

Venom: Ok, you know what? We'll ask the questions, Mr.Red Cape! Who are you?! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE US?!

[topknott]

Steve: We call that a traumatic experience.

Steve, turning to Harley: Not a "bruh moment".

Steve, turning to Shuri: Not "sadge".

Steve, turning to Peter: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

[spideyspetertingle]

Aunt May: We love having you around MJ, you're welcome any time. Heck, let me give you a house key, pop in whenever! MJ: Thank you, May! Peter: ...I don't even have a house key.

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Peter: This is the worst day of my life.

Tony, trying and failing to be comforting: The worst day of your life, so far.

[floilee]

Kate: My love, don't you think you've had enough to drink?

Yelena: I'm just helping the kids, Kate Bishop.

Peter: How is you drinking help the kids?

Yelena: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: hypothetically, if a bullet went through my stomach, would it be considered one hole or two

Tony: exactly how hypothetical is this?

Peter: *blood gushing out a wound he's badly trying to put pressure on* I don't know what you mean

[stuckysknife]

Matt: Alright, Spider-Man, be safe out there. I'll see you around.

Peter [joking]: Unless you go blind!

Matt:

Peter:

Matt:

Peter: wait-

[1luna1lovegood1]

Loki puts poison in peters drink.

Peter: *sips coffee*

Loki:

Peter: *finishes coffee*

Loki: Didn't the coffee taste weird?

Peter: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I

drank it all.

Loki: Alright, let me go get the antidote