#incorrect daredevil quotes

[matt-murdock-fan-girl]

Matt: You shouldn’t kill people, Frank. You should give them a chance to redeem themselves.

Frank: ...

Matt: Redemption is important.

Frank: ...

Matt: Frank?

Frank: *Takes out earplugs* Sorry, what?

Matt: *absolutely done with Frank's shit* FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!

[karmaspidr]

Peter: So you're a priest now.

Matt: Yes.

Peter: And you were technically never a lawyer.

Matt: Yes.

Peter: You're a priest who runs around New York, hospitalising criminals left and right while dressed as the devil.

Matt: Yes.

Peter: So, do you confess in front of a mirror or do you have one of your buddies do it?

Matt: I actually go upstate. None of the priests there know that I'm one of them.

Peter: Nice.

[headcanonthings]

Wade: Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn't have anything nice to say then he shouldn't say anything at all. Foggy, pulling on his arm: Sit down!

[youcantcallmethat]

Foggy: So you make most of Matt's Daredevil suits?

Peter: Yep

Foggy: ... are you DELIBERATELY making him look more and more like Batman?

Peter: Oh yeah. Next time I'm taking inspiration from Batman Forever, I want to see how far I get before he realises it has nipples

Foggy: Why?

Peter: Because he won't agree to a cape :(

[the-poor-miranha-quotes]

“okay listen up here i don’t wanna hear your idiots voice unless the fuckin’ world is on fire!”

_ Daredevil after the first time with the red team.

[incorrectpunisherquotes]

Matt: I'm playing a new drinking game. It's called every time I'm depressed, I take a drink. Frank: That game exists. it's called alcoholism.

[onlykastle]

Foggy: Get rid of it, Karen. Pine has no place in this office. It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses.

[spn-lesbian]

Foggy: ask me why I love you

Matt: why do you love me?

Foggy, pulling out a 200 slide powerpoint: I'm glad you asked-

[stuckysknife]

Matt: Alright, Spider-Man, be safe out there. I'll see you around.

Peter [joking]: Unless you go blind!

Matt:

Peter:

Matt:

Peter: wait-

[usaigi]

Matt Murdock, bleeding out, in serious need of a hospital but instead crawling to his church’s basement: momma ain’t raise no bitch

Sister Maggie: Excuse me?

Matt: actually, you didn’t even raise me

[honeybea-yaps]

Frank: I had to study for nine months. It was like giving birth-

Solya: no it wasn’t 🙄

Frank: or not.

[matt-murdock-fan-girl]

Matt: *leaning in, smirking* You know, Frank, if you keep staring at me like that, people might think you want to take me out.

Frank: Take you out? I'm not gonna kill you, Red.

[karmaspidr]

What if X-23 was hired to kill Daredevil?

Matt: I have a fairly good idea of who hired you and I can tell you aren't used to being able to choose things for yourself. He offers his hand. Come with me. I can protect you from the people who hurt you.

Laura's handler, through the comms: Stop wasting time, X-23. Eliminate the target and return to the randevu point.

Laura: ...

10 minutes later

Laura, sitting on Matt's couch, blanket wrapped around her and a cup of hot cocoa in her hand: How the fuck did I get here?

Matt: I mopped the floor with you, escaped your handlers and brought you to my home. Oh, I also wrote up some legal documents for you.

Matt hands Laura some paper

Laura: What is this?

Matt: Adoption papers. Sign here, please.

[headcanonthings]

Frank: Do you think we were friends in another life?

Matt: we're not even friends in this life.

Frank: Yeah, that's why I said "another life" dumbass.

[youcantcallmethat]

Foggy: Elektra is an ASSASSIN?

Matt: What can I say? Love is blind.

Foggy: No. YOU'RE blind.

[the-poor-miranha-quotes]

Daredevil: shit will come

Spiderman: it won’t give shit

Daredevil: it’s going to shit

Deadpool: if not?

Daredevil: and if so?

Deadpool: if it doesn’t shit?

Daredevil: and if it happens

Deadpool: But if shit goes down, we’re in shit together!!

Spiderman: Ready!

Spiderman: Guys, this won’t give shit

Daredevil: yes it will

Deadpool: BUT IF SHIT WE ARE SHIT TOGETHER!!!