#incorrect xmen quotes

[karmaspidr]

Peter: Honey! I'm ho- Oh FUCK!!!

Laura: Hey, Peter. Dinner is almost ready.

Peter: Laura, why is there a tied-up and bloody Green Goblin in our living room?

Laura: He tried to kidnap me.

Peter: And where are his hands?

Laura: Somewhere along Jonathan's digestive system.

Jonathan (the actual wolverine): >:)

[wilkkio]

Erik: You know, you could make me do anything you want with your power...

Charles: Yes I know.

Erik: Like really anything you wanted you could make me do it.

Charles: I know.

Erik: I couldn't disobey you...

Charles: I'm aware.

Erik: ...

Erik: So are you gonna do it ?

Charles: No.

Erik: WHYYY !! PLEASE CHARLES DO IT, PLEASE !!!

[manyothermusingsofmine]

I had to

[accelactor]

Erik: Don’t worry Charles. As long as I am here, we will stand together even if the whole world is our enemy.

Charles: Thank you Erik, but may I ask why the whole world is our enemy?

Erik: Because I am here.

[kurtobsession]

Kurt: I'd say I'm pretty comfortable with where I am in life right now.

Scott: You mean on Logan's lap?

Kurt: *unashamed* yes

[cathrrrine]

y/n, mentally: i wonder what would happen if i asked charles-

[distant shriek] [sounds of falling] [door banging] [startled cat yowl] [falling again] [creaking stairs] [heavy footsteps]

[y/n’s door swings open]

charles: *red-faced and panting* yes.

y/n: what

charles, hands on his knees: yes *wheeze* i’d say *wheeze* yes! *laughing*

y/n: you’d…sub in for my 8am class tomorrow?

charles: ye-! wait, no- you…wh? i- *dying breath* [slowly lowering himself down to lie on the floor] you- yeah *wheeze* sure

[lanae111]

Charles while daydreaming: Do you think in another universe, we get married?

Erik: Honey, we are married.

[venominomenon]

Wade, coming up with bdsm alphabet: What does C stand for?

Logan: Cyclops.

[charlesyapperxavier]

Charles:

Erik:

Charles:

Erik:

Charles:

Erik:

Charles: *laughs*

Raven: oh my god, stop flirting in your minds!!

[majorstumbles]

Xavier: We need a plan for taking down Magneto.

Scott, high off his ass from taking a gummi Gambit offered him: Chuck.. Logan- wh’t’ef-

Logan, who wants to be thrown as hard as physically possible for Enrichment™️: Yes, yes, good plan. Ignore the part where Magneto will just chuck me out of the way, we’re doing this plan.

[marvelsgirl616]

Incorrect Cherik <3

Erik: CHARLES! OMG SOMETHING TOUCHED MY LEG?!

Charles: THAT WAS ME YOU MAGNETIC MAN-CHILD!

[wilkkio]

Charles: Erik and I have to live together because the price of flats is very high.

Erik: Yes, and we had to rent a one bedroom flat because the two bedrooms flats are way too expensive.

Charles: And buying two beds was off budget so we only bought one.

Raven: Charles, you're rich and you own a mansion.

[karmaspidr]

Laura: So mutants don't exist here?

Peter: Not as far as I'm aware. Although the number of unexplained enhanced individuals has been growing since the Blip. Should probably look into that.

Laura: What's the Blip?

Peter: The Blip refers to the five years when half of all life in the universe, including me, was dead before the Avengers used time travel to bring all of us back and defeated a past version of the purple alien that caused it.

Laura: ...What the fuck is wrong with your universe?

Peter: Great question. I'll be sure to answer it as soon as Captain America is done fighting the president.

[pyrostartedthefire]

Bobby: I don't have to worry about my boyfriend cheating. I have to worry about him driving like he has nine lives, running his mouth like he's 6'4" and if he's actually ate anything today or if he's just still running off pure rage and caffeine."

[kurtobsession]

GROCERY SHOPPING

Kurt & Logan: *both carrying handfuls of beer*

Scott: *not even looking up* No, you put that back.

[cathrrrine]

logan: sometimes i wish the love of my life would stop doing stupid shit and pay attention to me

y/n, in the middle of doing stupid shit: sucks to be you i guess

logan: *sigh*