rusomnia

[rusomnia]

tim: spleens are overrated

anyone: so's caffeine

tim, slamming his hand on the table: NEVER say such sacrilege infront of me again

[rusomnia]

damian, after being plus twentied: im going to slit your throats with an uno card.

[rusomnia]

duke, dick and steph at somepoint probably: its not funny in a haha way its funny in a lifes sad so im gonna laugh way

[rusomnia]

tim: why would i choose peace when i can ruin lives instead?

jason, trying to remember how people think this is the moral one:

[rusomnia]

jason, stalking keeping an eye on tim: watching tim get mugged is my new favourite hobby

[rusomnia]

tim: -a duck actually bit me when i was younger

steph, without missing a beat: is this you confirming a prejudice against the ducks?

tim, defensive: no. no, NO. i am VERY neutral on this. I'm a NEUTRAL SOURCE-

babs, who's been forced to listen to this over the comms for the last half hour:

[steph, bored on a stakeout]

steph: so. whats your opinion on the next dinosaur president?

tim, without hesitation: a pterodactyl would be good, but i dont wanna spell that out every day

[rusomnia]

[like five minutes later]

steph: whats your opinion on the current uprising in detective ducks

tim: well, whos the uprising against

steph, after a moment: stegosaurus

tim, seamlessly: well its was a long time coming- it would be obvious for anyone watching the detectice duck scene like i have. im an avid enjoyer, they taste very good

[steph, bored on a stakeout]

steph: so. whats your opinion on the next dinosaur president?

tim, without hesitation: a pterodactyl would be good, but i dont wanna spell that out every day

[rusomnia]

[steph, bored on a stakeout]

steph: so. whats your opinion on the next dinosaur president?

tim, without hesitation: a pterodactyl would be good, but i dont wanna spell that out every day

[rusomnia]

Damian: alfred, are you seeing this? he's ignoring me.

Tim: you tried to put me up for adoption.

Damian: [sigh] i didn't fill out the paperwork

[rusomnia]

Red Robin (2009) #25

This is actually the reason you two are siblings WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

[rusomnia]

going through old quotes and some of these i just can't make fit contextually but are still fucking hilarious and im tempted to share them anyway

[rusomnia]

dick, at tim: maybe don't pass out

jason: maybe do

[rusomnia]

jason: losing my mind over this stupid ass essay

stephanie, probably: did you check under the sofa

[rusomnia]

fandom stop sleeping on her challenge #impossible

shes the jokers daughter. her first instinct in a life or death situation is to protect her brother. shes definitely autistic. everyone thinks shell be the next joker. shes a child prodigy. she runs away twice within two weeks. she technically brings her father back from the dead. shes probably some kind of gay. we have never seen her with her shoelaces tied

i know theres a subset of tim drake fans that would love her

[rusomnia]

stephanie: if there was a degree in being unhinged you'd have a masters

tim: taking that as a compliment

[rusomnia]

just saying jason todd probably wrote batman fanfic as both a form of therapy and karma

my evidence:

- he's a lit nerd. every lit nerd has written fanfiction at somepoint. if you're a lit nerd and you haven't, you're a liar or you will be writing fanfiction soon. be ready.

- you're a liar if you think the batfam didn't have a giant fandom in gotham city (and other cities that had batman shipped with their hero (metropolis im looking at you))

- he'd get to tear the shit out of batman with well thought out arguments against stuff without actually having to try and make bruce listen

- the authors notes.

- 'sorry i haven't updated in two years, i got blown up resurrected and turned into an assassin by my step-mum. here's some fluff as an apology'

- i feel like i could go on for a while but I'll leave it there

[rusomnia]

tim, muttering to himself: i doubt they'll be girlypop with a broken nose

dick: *concerned older brother noises*