incorrect-hs-quotes

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Lord English: I PUT TOGETHER A TIMELINE FOR OUR PROJECT. I STARTED BY REASONING THAT ANYTHING I DON’T UNDERSTAND IS EASY TO DO. PHASE ONE: DESIGN A SYSTEM FOR OUR WORLDWIDE OPERATIONS. TIME: SIX MINUTES.

Condesce: …

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Dirk: Like, that’s straight up waterboarding man. I’ve done that to myself.

Dirk: Y'know, for the bit.

Dirk: ...

Dirk: Wouldn’t recommend it. It’s not incredibly enjoyable.

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Eridan: eat my ass

Sollux: 2uck my diick2!

Eridan: *whispering* but i am allergic to shrimp

*Sollux starts strangling him*

Eridan: you strangle like clay aiken

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THE CONDESCE: take )(im to da labyrint)( of eternal ice

THE GRAND HIGHBLOOD: YEAH! WOOO!

EXECUTIONER DARKLEER: No! +>ake him +>o +>he police.

EXECUTIONER DARKLEER: He murdered somebody.

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john: So, what’s dave's type?

rose: Blue eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humor, movie lover.

john: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends.

rose: Did I mention oblivious?

john: Yeah, why?

rose: Okay, just making sure.

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TG: go sharty its your squirt day

TG: were gonna shitty farty like its your squirt day

CG: ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE BACKSPACE BUTTON ON YOUR KEYBOARD.

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Cronus: 8aby, I vwould climb any mountain... cross any vwalley... Just to be wvith you, I wvould svwim any-

Meenah: Would you eat this brick?

Cronus: wvhat?

Meenah: Would you eat this brick. All of it.

Cronus: I wvould climb any mountain, and I-

Meenah: Lots of buoys would. I need someone special. Someone who loves me so much, he would eat this brick. Just this one brick.

Cronus: I don’t think I can eat a brick.

Meenah: Well, now whenever you think “wvhy doesn’t she love me”, at least you’ll know the answer.

…

Porrim: So+ ho+w’d it go+?

Meenah: You were right! It’s easy to get rid of clingy guys!

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DIRK STRIDER: You want it straight?

JAKE ENGLISH: No i want it gay!

DIRK STRIDER: Alright, buddy. You’ve only had three shots.

DIRK STRIDER: Calm down.

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uu: WE SHuT DOWN CHARRING CROSS. TO FILM MORBIuS.

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Dave: i dueled a wasp with my katana for 45 minutes and lost

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AT: u MAD BRO, iM SORRY,

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VRISKA SERKET: Stop 8eing gormless with the formless, and come 8e intelligent with the relevant!

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UU: why do yoU have sUch wide eyes?

UU: are yoU a prey animal?

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DIRK: Don’t wanna be an American idiot. DIRK: Fuck America.

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JUNE: Vriska! This is a charity event! VRISKA: I don’t 8elieve in charity, June! VRISKA: Fuck them kids!

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ARADIA: i’ll take “things that didn’t happen” f0r 500, s0llux. SOLLUX: alriight SOLLUX: eriidan and feferii got iintwo thiis quadrant last week GAMZEE: wHaT iS MaTeSpRiTsHiP SOLLUX: correct ERIDAN: this group chat is a prison!

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Dirk: And as I have said, I refuse to pronounce French. Dirk: If you do not want me to say the letter, do not put it there. Dirk: Could also feasibly apply this standard to Polish but we won’t go there.