braxix

[braxix]

Elrond: I did it.

Galadriel:

Gil-Galad:

Celebrimbor: What did y-

Galadriel: Don't. Don't give him the attention he wants.

Elrond: I stabbed Annatar.

Galadriel: YOU WHAT?!

[braxix]

Elrond: I'm related by marriage to-

Galadriel: Don't care. Nobody likes him.

Elrond: ...

Elrond: He's your brother.

[braxix]

Elrond: Cirdan could be eligible for kingship.

Galadriel: Why do you think that?

Elrond: I was looking into his backstory and it's so vague and ambiguous that we could probably pull it off.

Galadriel: Why were you looking into his background?

Elrond: Usual reasons.

[braxix]

Elrond, short: I will strangle you.

Thranduil: I would like to see you try. You can't reach.

Elrond: I'm going to go find a step stool and when I get back you're dead.

[braxix]

Elrond: Being a healer and a fighter is very funny. It's my job to both take you down and help you up, and I get paid to do both.

[braxix]

Galadriel: Look me in the eyes. Look at me, Elrond, Celebrimbor.

Galadriel: Did you stab Gil-Galad?

Celebrimbor: Well-

Elrond: Not us personally, no.

[braxix]

Annatar: Isn't Galadriel amazing?

Elrond: Meh.

Annatar: Gil-Galad is good.

Galadriel: He's good at something alright.

Annatar: Elrond's pretty swell.

Gil-Galad: You've never met Elrond, have you?

Annatar: Celebrimbor, you family sucks.

Celebrimbor: I agree with you. They're all just awful people.

Annatar: ...you know I was talking about the living ones, don't you?

Celebrimbor: What I said stands.

[braxix]

Gil-Galad: And how do you know Elrond?

Erestor: Our paths crossed momentarily when he was a bear.

Gil-Galad: When he was what?

Erestor: Did he not mention that?

Gil-Galad: I thought he was joking!

[braxix]

Elrond: My dad's proud of me.

Galadriel: ...

Galadriel: Elrond, you don't have a dad.

[braxix]

Elrond: Aw, fuck.

Galadriel: What?

Elrond: I burnt my cookies.

Galadriel: I thank the Iluvatar. I thought you got stabbed.

[braxix]

Elrond: *Gets knocked over*

Elrond: Woah, that troll packs a punch.

Gil-Galad: What do you mea-

Gil-Galad: *Gets launched across the field.*

Elrond: I'm not certain, but I think Erenion just got jellied.

Galadriel: I'm surrounded by morons.

[braxix]

Maglor: Elrond is quite dangerous.

Maedhros: Yes, quite. He is just... Very small.

Maedhros: I just take a step back when he gets close and that's good enough to thwart the attempt.

[braxix]

Celebrimbor: How does this not cause problems?

Annatar: Oh, no, this causes so many problems.

[braxix]

Gil-Galad: Do you always cause this many diplomatic disturbances?

Elrond: They started it!

[braxix]

Elrond: I stopped the bleeding.

Galadriel: You stop the wha- oh my god!

Celebrimbor: *on the ground clutching his leg, covered in blood.*

Elrond: I stopped the bleeding.

Galadriel: What happened? Were he shot? Stabbed?!

Elrond: No. He tripped.

Galadriel: He... What?

Celebrimbor: I tripped.

[braxix]

That time Legolas and Gandalf had a sass battle on the slopes of Caradhras.

[braxix]

Sauron: *Thinking he's finally done with the insane descendants of Feanor*

Elrond: I'm about to end this man's whole career.