#oh shit am I??? catching feelings???
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jamiethebeeart · 2 years ago
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months ago
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SO. TO KICK OFF THE WEEK OF SPECULATION BEFORE THE UPDATE DROPS.
last night i had a bit of a Revelation. literally. i borderline woke up in a cold sweat with this realization. the way i lunged for my laptop to scream at friends... ough. lets get into it
so. i do believe I've made a couple of theory posts about Barnaby not being quite as receptive to his and Wally's "forced" best friendship as Wally - since the show wrote them to be friends instead of it happening naturally. i thought it might be a point of tension for Barn. i thought a lot.
YES SO I'M TOSSING (almost) ALL OF THAT OUT THE WINDOW!
the bios state Barnaby as Wally's best friend multiple times over. it had to be regularly reinforced. their colors were chosen to mark them as friends.
but Barnaby - presumably - can't see the bios, he wouldn't know the scripts. the friendship would be natural from his perspective. how would he know otherwise? even if the relationship started out synthetic, i don't doubt that it became genuine. in the context of their world and perceptions, realistically speaking Barnaby probably wouldn't sense anything wrong.
the reminders to be best friends weren't for Barnaby.
they were for Wally.
i'm starting to suspect that Wally is Barnaby's best friend, but Barnaby isn't Wally's. i think that Wally's "best friend" is Home - or at least Wally has a closer connection to them / Home is more important to Wally than anyone else is.
i remember reading this livestream trivia (from theneighborhoodwatch's doc, if you haven't their resources yet what are you even doing?):
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and i assumed it was for Barnaby's side of the relationship. but it's not, is it? it's Wally's? and it makes too much fucking Sense! it fits! i can see it perfectly! i can feel things slotting together in my mind due to this shift in perspective, and i'm scared
Barnaby probably thinks the relationship is natural, just like how he thinks he's a real person in a real world. Wally probably knows that the relationship is a role, just like how he knows he's a puppet in a false reality.
that leaves me wondering how much of it is genuine on Wally's side. i don't doubt that they really are friends, but how deep does that connection go? in the interview, Wally sounded excited/proud about having a best friend, but how much came from a place of feeling, and how much came from a place of Fulfilling The Role? how much of it is performative? how much of it is a mask?
i've been seeing everything differently. Barnaby poses for Wally the most because he has good balance and is good at staying still, not because of favoritism or because he's Wally's best friend. in the 14 (15 including the hidden halloween) audios, Barnaby consistently seeks out Wally and checks in on him. Wally seems more casual about their relationship than Barnaby is.
i'm worried that Wally values Home & You/Us over Barnaby. that Barnaby is second or third place in Wally's heart. that Wally means more to Barnaby than he means to Wally. after all, only one of them needed their relationship to be reinforced on a seemingly regular basis.
i'm confident that Wally cares about / loves Barnaby, but the question is how much? to what extent?
#IM SO FUCKING ILL.#and by worried i mean Frothing At The Mouth. that would hurt so good. it would be delicious#i mean. it makes so much fucking sense. it feels Right!#and oh the ways this could hurt barnaby#i already suspect he has some Internal insecurities and shit but. oh man. if this is true it would break his heart wouldnt it#he has his hearts on his palms but wally's hearts are hidden on the soles of his shoes....#god. no this. this. i cant start ranting and raving about what this means for barnaby and how i think it might affect him#the picture all the pieces of What We Know About Him So Far paint#all i'll say is. comic relief characters are always a tragedy under the mask.#wh speculation#homebogging#wh theory#welcome home speculation#welcome home theory#the way i was losing my absolute shit in discord. Man.#i am continuously in premature mourning over barnaby.#eddie might be doomed by the narrative but barn is Screwed by the narrative#poor guy just can't catch a break#also the idea. the Concept. that wally might consider you/us a closer/dearer friend than barnaby#is. its. well its devastating and juicy as Fuck!#there's. there's so much to unpack here im gonna be honest#for the first time since getting into this project im feeling like im starting to see a cohesive picture#the implications. the connections. the way it ties into themes. man... oh man... And It Makes. Sense.#barnaby knows wally better than the other neighbors - Besides Home - but how much more?#does he think he knows more than he does? i mean absolutely. wally is still hardcore masking around him.#wally doesn't confide in him not really#but man. Man. oh i understand why completely. at least i like to think i do#oh boy this is gonna kill me and im gonna like it#i had this realization and i felt my neurons shift just a little. just Enough. FUCK#barnaby b beagle. baby. i am so sorry but you're gonna have a hell of a fucking time
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tswwwit · 1 year ago
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I know Bill's the big bad demon everyone is afraid of and he will protect his husband at all costs (when no one's looking), but I think it's also worth mentioning that Dipper, even being the dorky, squishy human that he is, also cares about his dumb demon hubby and wants to keep him safe, even if it annoys Bill, and really, he doesn't need protecting the way Dipper does. He isn't going to puff out his chest and get in someone's face like some macho man, but I think Dipper knee-jerk reaction when Bill's in "danger" isn't to just shrug because he's an all-powerful demon who can handle it. If a blast that could level a whole town was aimed at Bill's head (for him, this just means a bad hair day and a new body), Dipper's immediate impulse is to push him out of the way or defend him against whatever wants to kill his familiar. Because he's not thinking "Bill could literally end this match in .3 seconds." He's thinking "if you touch even one hair on that asshole's head, I'm going to knock yours clean off your shoulders." I don't know what the point even is in this post, just that Dipper is this nerdy, unassuming guy who ends up being viciously protective under the right conditions. Like I think Dipper pulls off the bloody and vengeful look SO well that Bill immediately melts and just lets him handle the situation, even though it's not really Dipper's fight to begin with. He's beating the guy to a pulp with zero reserve, and Bill's off to the side swooning and twirling his hair over his man for getting his hands dirty for him.
It's true! While Bill's not the type to enjoy being underestimated, he has to admit! Seeing his adorable husband all riled up on his behalf is a hell of a sight.
The thing is, Dipper's a good guy! He can't help but put himself in danger over others. Even when all reason and logic say that Bill would be absolutely fine if he got his head exploded or a shiv in his kidney, Dipper's instinct is to fully and immediately get in the way of that. To, in fact, be protective.
Mostly this is only evident when Dipper has to stand up to Ford. Yes, yes, Bill's a vile horrible monstrosity, but he didn't do that particular thing you're accusing him of. Watching him stand up to his uncle is a particular treat!
For bigger threats, though - Well. Bill's gonna be absolutely fine, no matter what happens, thank you very much. But he's definitely not opposed to seeing some guy who was about to literally stab him in the back get a few of his teeth knocked out.
#answers#Dipper doesn't like seeing his husband get hurt. Yes Bill likes pain and all but only contextually. And he's immortal.#But Dipper can't help but cringe and wince on his behalf anyway. He talks a lot of shit but he really does love his bastard husband#When it comes to most of the the Ford situations#Bill gets to have fun with those#Dipper's ready to argue on Bill's behalf. Most times. Yes a little head-explodey doesn't keep Bill down but Dipper is NOT a fan#Catch Bill standing just behind Dipper - or even leaping up into his arms and nearly making him topple over -#Only to look very self-satisfied. Going :3 'yes I am babey'#Looking like the perfect innocent cherub he absolutely isn't gets on Ford's nerves in a HUGE way#Both super obnoxious AND it makes his mortal roll his eyes at him. SO fun!#For other times he gets defended it's Bill's turn to roll his eyes#But goddamn if it isn't cute as hell. PLUS it's one of the rare times he actually sees Dipper really riled up#Not in like a flustered argumentative type of way. In an actual Fuck You You're Going Down kinda way#Real stupid that Dipper keeps doing this. But real hard to oppose it when Bill gets such a view outta it!#Also concept: Dipper trying to shield Bill while he's in his real form and feeling a moment of 'oh no' when he fails#Only for like. The knife to go 'tink' off his surface. Bill looks unimpressed#Another reminder for Dipper that yeah okay Bill can handle himself. He feels pretty dumb about it#That's okay DIpper you mean well! Bill will still smooch you for trying#APPROVED.jpeg implied but not included due to me adding too much text
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kind-of-a-shitty-wizard · 11 months ago
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i know its probably been done to death but i love the concept of the shivering isles as only a realm of "madness" insofar as no one in tamriel has a concept of what neurodiversity or mental illness is lmao
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hella1975 · 11 months ago
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i feel like i need to do laps of the house rn i have so much to talk to you guys about and idk where to start
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cerealmonster15 · 5 months ago
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the block button isnt enough i need to set things on FIRE
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Please god, can someone give me the strength to write ANOTHER 900 word essay in German, I DON'T WANNA I DONT WANNA PLEASE NO
#disliking this course more than i thought i would#oh yes german linguistics!!! okay!!! sure i love that!!!#and then my grade is dependent on literally only writing assignments#i actually want to die. this brings me soooooooo much fucking pain#i just really despise the whole idea of it#you put a bunch of people in one class with differing skill level#and then make them all write 900 word essays in a language theyre not 100% on yet#and the content is soooo much just him rambling in class IN GERMAN !#and not all of it is on the slides so fuck if i remember#and even if i did remember its so much me trying to focus on catching what hes saying than actually absorbing it#and the topic even if i was writing in english would make me struggle#and you guys know!! im great at rambling!! BUT NOT AUF DEUTSCH#and then. when you finally finish slaving over this fucking disaster of a paper#you submit it. and his only comment is just: sehr gur gemacht.#yeah why the fuck would i feel the need to burn myself like this +#only to get feedback that feels like he only looked at the word count and nothing else#like not even going to correct my grammer or???? what am i learning other than writing the same kind of bs sentences over and over#i despise word count essays btw#youre not really writing for quality youre writing for quantity#bcs if the only real outline you get is that you hit the word count then why do i give any shit about the quality of it#like i submitted a paper for my other class and she gave like 100+ edits on it#not only comments but also grammer correction#and like????? why do i not get that from the class that is teaching me a foreign fucking language#yeah sure its not bad to correct the grammar of your first language but cmon my god please help me a bit or smth#but yeah its due on Wednesday and i just think im going to fucking die before then#choking on my stress tears or smth#as i said it would be fine if it felt like he was actually checking them in depth#but i hate assignments where im only doing it for the grade. like i actually want to uhhh learn yknow???????#but yes i need someone to cheerlead me on or smth bcs itll take so much resolve to not just give up#and i wont give up bcs i want to keep my gpa but thats exactly thr issue isnt it? that i dont care about the content?
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ragnars-tooth · 5 days ago
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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memento-morri-writes · 6 days ago
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.” 
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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invinciblerodent · 1 month ago
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Man, having something that people straight up refuse to tag for (even if asked) be a hard squick/trigger makes consuming almost any erotic content ever a fucking minefield, doesn't it.
I'm so exasperated. One would think that tagging for a somewhat common kink would be in the poster's best interest as well (y'know, if only so that the people looking for that kink specifically can actually find it), but no. No, that'd probably make too much sense.
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mazojo · 4 months ago
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Yo why is Johnny Bananas on my reality TV emotional support show. AGAIN.
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dutybcrne · 6 months ago
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I am a simple Allie: I see unhinged, I wanna put em with Taru or Kae
#//Secret option: with Luc or Kaveh hdhdbdb#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//This is abt Scar of the WuWa hdhfh#//I am ENAMOURED by he#//And I want to give him the most ridiculous potentially chaos crossover ship jfbfb#//Kav and Taru are winning in my brain tho hfbbf#//Bc I think Kav and Scar is just SO FUCKEN DIFFERENT it tickles my brain#//And then Taru and Scar; they will be a fucken Danger to everyone including themselves#//And they would enjoy every second of it: I feel it in my BONES#//Meanwhile with Kav; he has to try and handle a man who would commit Attrocities for his specialest boi#//And Kav is done a STRESS; both bc the attrocities AND worrying abt Scar in the same breath#//I love the idea of him tryna keep him safe from Cyno; esp if he got too invested in Scar’s wellbeing too soon#//And now he has an Attachment; and would feel AWFUL giving him up to the Law#//Then again; he wouldn’t have to do anything really bfbfb#//Bc Scar just keeps coming back to him like a stray cat findin the person who consistently feeds it; even if he DOES get arrested#//‘Arrested’#//It that one meme of the guy looking up at the girl’s window and she calls police on him and he gets dragged away hdbfb#//Actually I think that’s funnier hfbfb#//Kav being 100% on board with sending him off to be arrested by Cyno#//By also being SO attached; he can’t say no when Scar pulls up asking for a plate of whatever Kav & Haiyi dined#//Hdhfbfb#//‘Here eat well’ ‘this is delicious! Is your matra friend on his way?’ ‘Haitham left the room to call him when I let you in-‘ ‘aight fair’#//I gotta keep playing wuwa i think i wanna let this one cook more before I REALLY ramble jfbf#//For SURE Kav would hexkin EXPLODE at the endearments and coy words#//Taru would just be Confused like ‘me??? You mean me??? HUH! :D’#//The way I see it now; Taru is prolly the one that’d ACTUALLY catch his eye like that bc of his thoughts on doing anything to be strong#//Meanwhile Kav is just the guy he goes to for a quick recharge bc hes so caring; would take a Lot if at all to actually win him over#//Tho Kav being so willing to debate him might give him points in Scar’s book I think. him brushing Kae off as pathetic or weak bc#he disapproves of what Scar’s tryna do/how he carries himself; ends up getting earful startin w lISTEN HERE YOU LIL SHIT-#//And Scar’s just ‘OH. I see now-‘ Prolly why he keeps coming back hdhfb. bc he wants to debate Kav again
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ilonacho · 1 year ago
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it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat
#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom#2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places#and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again#like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up#not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day!#i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation?#like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary#like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??)#but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks#and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it?#i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep#before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything#and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’#but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend#i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it#but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this#i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man#ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything#i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for#not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for#and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween#i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art#+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here)#it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this
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rubenesque-as-fuck · 1 year ago
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I think one of the other reasons I've been so dreading this trip is because I haven't actually been back to California since my gram died. Last time I was home was to see her in the hospital. Stepping back over the state line will make her being gone more real, somehow. And then I'll be going to a wedding where people are probably going to ask about her, while I'm also reminded in all the shortfalls of my own life. And I'll have to pretend everything is good because I don't wanna be the weird downer at a wedding. The entire situation is uh, to put it lightly, not something I'm looking forward to.
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tinybubblesyay · 1 year ago
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How is it my family/friends, who dont mask, haven't gotten hit with the plague but me, who wears one everywhere they go, has gotten it 3 times! Fml.
Send soup. And notes if you're in my history class.
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monty-glasses-roxy · 1 year ago
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Also, fun fact: my mum said we don't need to feed the insects we feed the gecko. You just don't need to! Wow wish I'd realised that sooner!
#bdjdnid 'but you dont need to feed the crickets-'#ma. ma please. have you ever heard of the circle of life.#ndjdjdk lmao anyway#in case you didn't know#if you don't feed a creature it tends to die! fun fact! the more you know!!#and the crickets make me incredibly nervous!!!#so no I'm not doing that!!!#'oh but geckos love crickets!' SHUT THE FUCK UP#1. this gecko doesn't eat literally anything ever.#2. it was reported there was a shit ton of dead crickets in the bottom of the vivarium before we got it#so geck has probably been bitten enough for a lifetime it feels unfair to do that to him again#and 3. they're too fast. i love bugs but i cannot. i got nervous holding the box. don't do this to me#NO WAIT SCRATCH THAT#3. how the fuck do you catch a cricket to feed it to a gecko and then catvh it again so it doesnt bite the gecko#they're so fast and my heart can't take it#anyway yeah mum got us crickets when i specifically explained why we can't have crickets at the moment to her#like four times#I HAVE NOT SEEN GECKO EAT YET I AM NOT SENDING IN THE CRICKET TO BITE HIM#HHHHH#listen. after the health check and my heart has been eased... i will be posting pictures of him#i will officially name them and be much happier#i will be even happier once they have the right set up#but i will be happy for the time being just knowing that they're okay and with advice on what to do next#i will be!#for the time being though? stress. are they okay? are they not okay? o don't fuckin know man#stressin'#HEY COUNTRYMUTT!!! FRIEND!!!! IF YOU CAN SEE THIS#AND ARE UP FOR DEALING WITH BABY'S FIRST REPTILE#YOU KNOW WHERE I AM BUDDY I WOULD LOVE YOUR EXPERTISE IMMENSELY#oh shit hello tag limit when did you get here uhhh yeah hi I'm a mess over geck... :(
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