#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts

[ragnars-tooth]

One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)

Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go

This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.

[phagodyke]

I have an interview tmr for a possible teaching assistant job. but I realllyyyy really don't want to fucking go

[amsznn]

CHRIS STURNIOLO BF HEADCANONS ⋆˙⟡♡

warnings: none, just fluff!

-

⭑ you better have tylenol, and a whole bunch of patience if you’re with this boy.

⭑ so much energy and expects you to be on the same level as him.

⭑ sometimes he’ll tone it down if you’re having a bad day or if you just need some quiet time.

⭑ at the end of the day, he’s so exhausted that he doesn’t even say goodnight, just knocks out.

⭑ you and chris are cuddled up on his bed, enjoying each other’s presence when you decide to ask his opinion on something.

“chris what do you think about this hoodie?”

chris: 💀😴

you: 😐

⭑ BLANKET HOGGER. doesn’t matter how big or how small the blanket is, you’ll be left shivering while chris is bundled up with 50% of the sheets dragging on the floor.

⭑ on nights where he doesn’t immediately tap out, he’s resting his chin on your head while one hand is playing with your hair and the other caressing your arm while yapping your ear off.

“if you were a chicken, what kinda chicken would you be?”

“chris i swear to god.”

⭑ needs to be touching you in some way. And it’s not always sexually. small touches like, playing with your ears, hand on your thigh, or just playing footsies under the table, contact is his fav.

⭑ whenever he’s in disagreement with his brothers about something he makes sure to throw you into the mix and ask your opinion cus lets be real, you almost always agree with him.

⭑ randomly jabs your side to tickle you whenever there’s a moment of silence between you two.

⭑ asks your opinion on designs for his brand before launching anything. also makes sure you get at least one of every item he’s designed.

⭑ don’t think he’s the jealous or protective type. but if someone is making you uncomfortable he’ll definitely tell them to back off.

⭑ the media found out about you two on accident 💀.

⭑ chris was streaming one day and forgot to tell you but it was too late when you walked into his room unannounced in your grammy pj’s ready to knock tf out when chris let out a loud “ohhhhh shitttt..” when you realized that you were fucked.

⭑ you looked at chris and chris looked at you before you both shrugged your shoulders and went on with what you were doing, honestly not giving af atp.

⭑ comments flooding about who you were, tiktoks posted about you two with dating rumors, had to wait until the next day when chris posted on his story the both of you in skin care hello kitty masks facing the mirror with his arm around your shoulder and you leaning up to give him a peck on the face.

⭑ yeah, yall broke the internet.

⭑ you were featured in the next podcast with you and chris properly talking about your relationship.

⭑ after that chris would post you any chance he got. from cute insta stories, to goofy tiktok trends, he just wanted the world to know about his amazing gf.

⭑ PDA PDA PDA PDA. in the back of the triplets vlogs that you sometimes feature in, fans can spot you and chris in the background hugging with chris sometimes attacking you with kisses.

⭑ just a clingy guy tbh.

⭑ whenever you wake up from one you and chris’ shared afternoon naps to go find something to eat in the kitchen, chris makes his way to you like 2 minutes later and wraps his arms around your waste peeking over your shoulder so he can also have some of what you’re making.

⭑ loves going out and seeing things that remind him of you, but when he’s about to buy it and the store says “we don’t take apple pay” he’s upset for the rest of the day talking about “what fucking store doesn’t take apple pay”

“what kinda guy forgets his wallet…”

⭑ he ends up ordering it for you online 💀

⭑ overall a cute silly guy who just loves to love on you.

-

A/N: i want him. im posting sm cus theres soo many things in my drafts guys, imma try to even my posting days out though, bare with me <3.

[mao22716]

bonus comic ( wooo clap clap clap)

no overlay ver:

can u even see the difference....

commenting on my drawing u can ignore (pls do)

omg all my comments r gone bc i accidentally posted and i deleted it out of panic 😭😭😭😭😭

overall im very happy with this its around 80% of what i originally had in mind

in my imaginagtion i wanted the picture to look more blue bc its morning and its bright but if i put a lot of overlay the colours wont look interesting anymore i am conflicted

so ill post both with some blue overlay and without it

im gonna wait until the day after i make this draft to post so that i can see if theres anything i can improve on it has been a few hrs since i first made the draft and i made some changes to the drawing

i actually changed a few things already like the hair ribbon (it was blue previously) and the umbrella handle (it was a dark brown like the bag)

i also put some pink in the umbrella bc i thought it was too plain i hope it looks good to everyone else who might be seeing it

i want kurikos face to be the focus but i find it hard to do that bc the umbrella is also a light colour so i tried to put more shadow & hopefully theres more contrast

the bag is easier to focus on.... this is sad

the ribbons on the bag r also sad but they look like ribbons so thats good

im not good at perspective so the bottom of the skirt might look out of place but i did my best to fix it by rendering

it looks messy but its supposed to be like that pls believe me

the hair was so fun to paint theres so many colours that go well tgt and looks pleasing

mao cafe hahhha im so funny lolol

i think i could have painted the nose better but idk how to make it look better

aaaa i wanna go back and change it & put bigger dust and sparkles around the character i looked at it too long and its boring

i should redo the mouth too maybe

also i have an idea that saiki was made to wear lolita dress as kuriko bc yumehara and aiura bribed him with expensive coffee jelly

i want to make small comic i dont have confidence but ill do my best

^^^ i did it..... i hope u will like it its very messy but i think it shows what is happening clearly

[frosted-hyacinth]

𝐈𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐥 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐈𝐝𝐨𝐥!𝐚𝐮 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 : chapter I

Feat. too many blue lock characters to list... (theres like 19 love interests...) Tags. fluff, maybe some angst later on cw. NOT EDITED, (if there are any more, please let me know) note. my run-on sentences are coming backkk noooo also how did i forget the word facility?? (I had to google it until i remembered...) also a lil short as always sorry! (had this in my drafts for quite some time lol)

masterlist. (non-existent for now) next.

It was your first time at a concert. You were at a concert that your friend bought tickets for but ended up not being able to go and now you were here. She'd told you last minute that she had an urgent family problem and that she wouldn't be able to go. However, she didn't want to waste the tickets she'd brought so she handed them to you and ran off, not letting you refuse.

You didn't really think you were into these idol things but when you saw her dancing across the stage with those... eyes... You were captivated. You couldn't look away.

That was the moment you knew, you wanted to be just like her. An idol that could captivate the eyes of anyone watching them, the kind that told everyone look at me without a word. The centre of attention.

After years of hard work, it paid off.

☆ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

You sighed, a while ago, your manager, Emi, had told you to do a job with Itoshi Sae. It was supposed to be just normal modelling, something that came with being an idol but the whole experience was just tiring. The images came out perfect, better than perfect even.

Seeing the publicity that photoshoot gave you, Emi tried convincing you to make more content with Sae, even trying to make you create a song with him but no matter how much she asked, you could only say no. As much as you loved how the results turned out, the Itoshi was much less agreeable to work with. You'd tried interacting with him during the short amount of time you had but time and time again, he had ignored you. So you came to the conclusion that that was not something you'd want to do again.

But now? Something was off. Emi was eerily quiet. Usually, she'd be consistently telling you about all the different brands or people you had offers from but you hadn't heard a peep from her today.

Now, it was lunch and as quietly as possible, she sat down beside you and all of a sudden, she was talking again. But then she pulled out a letter that she hid (?) behind her back. Rather than having you read it though, she more or less described the entirety of the letter to you.

She was telling you that you'd gotten an invite to have a collaboration with 'Blue Lock.' A program Jinpachi Ego (a person who you personally found a little creepy) created to find a perfect male idol. It turned out that they had already eliminated a handful of people. From the 300 who started, there were now 15 left.

Emi said that if you joined, you'd get much more publicity than you do right now and your PR team even said that this would be good for you. You probably would have said yes anyway but with the way they seemed like they were begging you to join, it would have physically hurt you to reject them.

That was how you found yourself in a bus ride with 'Anri Teieri' to the Blue Lock facility, arriving finally at a large pentagon-shaped building.  

[faunandfloraas]

Aussie question time: when I find out an idol is American/Canadian, their image in my mind completely changes because now it’s like “Oh I know exactly who you are, I grew up with your type around me” there are subtleties that I’m going to understand that others might not. So with all that said, I’ve been curious about what that’s like (if you experience it) w the skz aussies (throw in a lily if you’re feeling it -v-) 🎤

this is wayyyyyy too long so I'm putting it under a read more- also disclaimer: i dont know these guys and these are just my opinions, dont take em too srs <3

Hmmmm... Well I guess I'll start with Felix- I've said it before a bunch but the whole "Felix is a tiny uwuw baby sweet summerchild who is just such a baby" etc. etc. has made me laugh from the get go- because Yep! he is incredibly sensitive and sweet natured and kind and he cries a lot- 100% that is true. Dont think I'm saying it's not. But like. He also grew up in western sydney, he grew up in a area that if you google it one of the first suggestions is "is it safe" but then at the same time he went to private catholic school im pretty sure. and i saw pics from back then that he'd posted back in the day of cool little felix with his gold watch and his fade and all his little homeboys looking rowdy on the train- I know that kid and while that kid can also be sweet and sensitive, he's not incapable and hes not a baby. Good recent example was when he went on that Jewel box show with the gay dudes and people were acting like he was *so uncomfortable* and sooooo out of his element and so this and so that- theres gay dudes all over sydney, there's gay dudes all over australian media- the idea felix couldnt handle that was simply laughable to me- but it kinda shows how many outside perceptions of him still very much fall into that vaguely infantalizing thing. Like when he was the one who was happy to go up to adam levine and dj snake in that skz talker while the other boys were much more shy? that didnt shock me at all. felix went to korea as a whole teenager laregly against his parent wishes- he's actually quite an outgoing and brave guy. Outgoing guys can still be sweeties, though- one doesn't negate the other.

One other aspect of Felix i think a lot of fans just gloss over but is easily noticeable by me is that he can kindaaaaaa be ... a lil bitchy? like he's never ever mean or cruel dont get me wrong- but he has a slight bitchy streak, he rolls his eyes AND he's actually much more sarcastic than people bring up? Again- he does it a lot with Chan and that doesnt shock me- they both are aussie boys, Chan will get it and I think Felix can very much be himself with Chan, he doesn't necessarily feel the need to put up an extra air of like... Sweetie boy-ness? bc when he calls chan a cunt on live chan just laughs and goes OI!! so yuh the main thing with felix is while i do think hes a little sweet guy, ive never from the get go had a hard time seeing him outside of that box, too. Also maybe that's a lil bit aussie humour slipping under the radar here or there 🤔

Chan to me from the get go too was pretty much like. Prototypical overachieving aussie Good Boy. Like, i had a drafted post i never posted bc it was too niche- but it was essentially about how he speaks about sports and the like, and it just said "We get it. You went to zone carnival" which was the sporting event that the kids who got gold or 1st place were sent to. If you went to zone, you were the Successful kid. I think these days most fans perceive him as... a bit of a goofy guy? but I have gone through the archives and i have seen the comments from people talking about how chans such a bad boy- thats shit is so funny to me bc you can show me every iteration of chan and I'd never, ever think he's a bad boy. Like he wishes he was a bad boy, he kinda cosplays a bad boy- even him referencing swearing bc of his australianess and shit over the years makes me giggle a little bc i feel like felix def 100% swears all the time but he doesnt like Smirk about it too much? he doesnt really bring it up? things like that stand out, it to me feels very like Oh yeah I'm this naughty Aussie boy who swears hehe and then all the australians are like ? Girl we all do huh lmao

Otherwise, I dont have as much to say about chan as i do about felix, funnily. Like idk people might perceive differently to me, but nothing too far off? I will say that given Chan's success and the fact he was seemingly a very well achieving kid too (maybe not debuting for such a long time is part of this) he is WAY more humble than I'd expect. Like not to besmirch Australian men but a lot of them can be really loud and cocky, especially the famous successful ones (any sport star) it's almost encouraged to be like that if you're a dude (but only to a certain degree, anything beyond a certain point and you'll be roasted lol) So I have to give credit where it's due and say that Chan *Seemingly does have a very good nature and I appreciate that about him! Its probably why I like him so much bc he actually very much doesn't give off those vibes- he doesn't seem like that overly macho cocky bloke I know very well. So that makes him good fun for me- he's very successful and he's confident and yet he doesn't activate any of my bitch instincts- thats impressive! I don't know him, so I'll never know for sure of course, i feel like i need to make that disclaimer but still I do believe he has a good heart, and he tries so hard! and I appreciate that.

Lily is weirdly like Chan. like she's hilariously like chan tbh- I wonder how they really get along sometimes bc I feel like they might look at each other and be like Hm... we the same............ ? Lmao I will say though, lily is a bit out of pocket and half of that I believe is her personality but half of it is just.... I think she's just australian 😭 like i cant lie you get me as a teenager to early 20 something and put me on a live and I can promise I would be saying as much ?? shit. Like, I do think Australians are a little loud and not necessarily always.... tactful (again Not everyone, but yk.) lily certainly fits that bill to a T. I appreciate that regardless of her idolhood she does still say things that maybe she shouldn't, she shrugs off a shoplifting confession, she says she'd murder someone if she had to, she bought and wore a shirt that fans quickly tracked down and found out all the proceeds were going to Palestine- she would have known what that suggested. she clearly had this goal of being an idol since she was a baby, like literal baby but she hasn't sacrificed her broader personality, even the parts that could potentially be off-putting to those idol fans that expect perfection and nothing else. I appreciate that in her! and I hope she never loses her little weird girl spark bc it does make her very dynamic! Her slightly gruff aussie girlness is very fun for me to see in the idolsphere bc it def feels out of place, but in a refreshing way...

so yeah. Idk if this was sensical, I was making dinner so I put my phone down a bunch and it's probably disjointed but thats my opinion... my thoughts, my ideas! Idk my take on them. Thanks for asking 🫡

[romanceddawn]

i talk about yandere seto sometimes but in season 0 it is pretty much canon, like he is actively stalking yugi throughout the show and i think its really funny so heres a bunch of evidence of that:

the first time we see it is when he sends that first game master out, he's not only hiding to listen to the duel in the nurses office but its heavily implied that he's been stalking yugi for a little bit before that too

like at the end of the day anzu tells yugi not to go to the arcade and yugi kind of rushes off despite knowing he doesnt have the money, meaning this is a frequent thing he does, but whats more is that he's going specifically that day because someones told him theres a new game being unveiled. when he gets there he cant find it and has to ask about it, which is when we see a disguised kaiba lead him to the back alley to kidnap him (this killed me to watch btw, yugi has no self preservation, but it was cute that kaiba seemed to stutter when talking to him)

but this all means that he was watching yugi long enough to know he always goes to the arcade after school and that yugi wouldnt be able to resist coming, even if he didnt have the money, as long as there was something new to play. it also means he had someone plant the information that thered be a new game OR that kaiba just disguised himself and told yugi this which is what im choosing to believe

of course, then we get to see him actually stalking him in the triplets episode, literally driving by and watching him (which is so funny to think about cuz his driver must be so tired of him lol)

at first i honestly thought he was stalking the triplets but at the end of the episode there is no reveal that he wanted them out of the dueling scene or that he was even worried about them getting the card they wanted at all, he beat them extremely easily. his only reason for doing the duel is because he couldnt stand the thought of someone (that he hadnt sent himself) beating yugi before he could, so i think he was watching yugi, recognized the triplet, and got bothered by them trying to encroach in on his rival

he also apparently records yugi? this recording is just the first game master playing him that he shows to aileen, but who knows how many other times he's recorded him just in case he 'needed' the footage

this moment of him lamenting about being connected by fate is ooc for him and not really stalking but it is very yandere of him so im throwing it in here anyways

and of course i have to add the death t invitation because you know he was watching yugi and his friends that whole day just waiting for the perfect moment to hack into something and invite him as dramatically as possible (however i wont add any of the death t stuff cuz like. we know what happens and how obsessive he is there)

since having this in my drafts, the season 0 movie has been restored and posted to youtube and in it kaiba is technically looking out for rare cards but even then he's managing to get in some time to stalk yugi (also the way his employee says "i know sir" i just know they're so tired of his obsessive ass)

TDLR: yandere seto is canon thank you for your time

[puffskeeter]

Hey I’m such a big fan of your art and I very much enjoy watching your YouTube channel 🤍🤍

And I want to ask you why you don’t ship the ppgxrrb and I want to hear your opinion about it which I can very much respect.

Plus another question that what type of fashion you think your au of the Powerpuff, Rowdyruff, and your Original Characters fall into between I really love how you draw them?

OMG TYSM!! I think i've seen your comments on my videos and TYSM for those too!! :D

I'll make a seperate post for my fashions/aesthetics for RRBORN characters! this one is pretty long even though i wanted it to be short lolz

Why i dont actively ship PPGxRRB:

I'm scrapping my drafted essay post about this for now because its really uncalled for and unnecessary. IDK sorry to anyone who looked forwards 2 it, but i just dont think i illustrate my point very well and more than half of it is lowkey a biased vent post and pure rambling. Either way this is the TLDR for the post you'll never see LOL.

But actually, I do ship PPGxRRB, i've just drifted away from it over the years. I think one of the biggest 'problems' i have with PPG x RRB is mainly with the portrayal of it. My main issue is with how a lot of people mischaracterize the RRB/PPG and completely deconstruct them as characters so that they can be love interests for the eachother and nothing more. One of my points in my scrapped post was that; I have no idea how an entire fandom managed to gender-bend the Bechdel test, but it is rare that i find PPGxRRB media where the RRB have actual lives, interests, hobbies, and friends that have nothing to do with the PPG. Half the time they can barely have a thought if it isn't about the PPG. As i said, Gender-bent Bechdel test.

Another point was that: ppgxrrb has gained a horrible reputation for itself over the years. Back in its "Glory" days, Toxic fans of the ships had bulldozed anything that differs from their favorite empty dynamics. Those usually being The Reds, Blues, and Greens. Nowadays i still see almost nothing in the realms of variety between creators interpretations of the ships. Almost every time i see a PPGxRRB post, it can fit into a set dynamic that the ship is already infamous for.

I want to be able to see the creators love and passion for their ships. I want to know how and why these characters ended up together. If a story is to be told, i want to hear it. I know that the majority of PPGxRRB creators are, by default, amateurs (they dont get paid and its not on a professional scale), but after seeing the exact same badly written love story hundreds , maybe even thousands of times with little-to-no variety, I've gotten bored and tired of people devaluing my favorite characters to be nothing more than overplayed dynamics and shipping fuel.

A lot of people like shipping because of the dynamics, but ship dynamics don't hook me in, and ive noticed that most PPGxRRB stuff is purely ship dynamics and nothing more. Theres nothing wrong with loving ship dynamics or being drawn to ships for their specific dynamics! I just dont care about dynamics, i care about chemistry and story. But most amateurs cant effectively show the chemistry or write the story, a lot of them can barely characterize the 2 characters in their ships.

FYI this isnt about anyone specific or even many recent fans of PPGxRRB. I've been in/around the online PPG fandom since before 2016, and a lot of my thoughts/feelings on the matter have a lot to do with stuff that happened over the years i've loved this series, and more specifically, The RowdyRuff Boys.

To be clear: When i say that they are mischaracterized, i'm not talking about HC's. I'm just tired of seeing the PPG and RRB dulled down into one-note personalities with stereotypical characterization and almost always no tangible character development. A love story is still a story, and a lot of shippers seem to half ass the "story" for favor of the "love".

I dont hate or even dislike PPG x RRB. I'm just really tired of rarely seeing people do the RRB justice, and i want these characters to be treated with the full respect that i think they deserve.

WOW this post is way to long already... still a lot shorter than my OG post. Sorry for being insane about the RRB. it will happen again.

[definitelynotshouting]

fic writer interview!

shamelessly yoinking from @karliahs bc this looks fun as hell to do :]

How many works do you have on AO3?

32 fics total, between my main and rough draft pseud!! which feels like a really small amount, honestly-- i think my private WIPs list is MUCH higher 😂😂😂😂 if we're counting my very first (and very abandoned) ao3 acct too, then that number is bumped up to 35!!

What's your total AO3 word count?

163,211, and a good 65k of that was written this year somehow??? according to my statistics ._. lowkey crazy to think about

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

paid for it with all of my blood (BNHA | 8,452)

at times so self destructive (BNHA | 4,554)

lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) (HC/LIFE | 3,618)

or we can just have conversation (MSA | 1,834)

the art of rawgabbitry (BNHA | 1,609)

if youve been following me since my bnha fics in 2018 you deserve a veteran's discount

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i used to answer every single comment i got, honestly, unless it came by years after i posted it-- the only reason i dont as much anymore is because it gets REALLY overwhelming for me to respond to everyone after the initial barrage 😅😅 the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak etc etc. but i do read every comment and appreciate them SO SO MUCH, and whenever i find one particularly moving or want to just reassure people im still working on something i'll respond to those :]

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

not counting the wips that just never got finished and left off before their main shit could resolve, id say at times so self destructive (BNHA)-- i mean i LITERALLY ended it with izuku potentially dying 😭😭😭😭

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

tbh i dont think i write happy endings so much as i write hopeful, bittersweet, or open-ended ones-- i tend to like catharsis more than fluff when it comes down to it. but out of my fluff fics i think honey it's starting to storm (HC) is one of the genuinely sweetest ive written. my runner-ups on that would probably be when the smoke does finally pass (TMA) and or we could just have conversation (MSA) :]

Do you write crossovers?

not typically, and ive never published any, but i am definitely not immune to them 😂😂😂😂 i think my most niche crossover ive actually written (never to see the light of day) was a Nine Lives of Chloe King and Supernatural fic that was the definition of self-indulgent rot. only a little less niche than that was a Mortal Instruments and Supernatural crossover (theres a running theme here lol) lying in snippets on an ancient google doc in my oldest gmail acct. reread that one recently and its shockingly coherent for being written in like. 2016. id even call it decent (though theres a lot id change up if i were writing it now)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

idk if it'd be considered hate but once i wrote a fic inspired by someone else's when i was very new to ao3, let them know (i didnt know about the "inspired by" option back then), and they got mad at me in my comments section because in their words, "its better than mine" 😭😭😭😭💥💥💥💥💥💥

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

YOU COULD SAY THAT

as for what kind, honestly whatever strikes my fancy-- usually character/relationship studies, or just a fun focus on character intimacy. love 2 be asexual<3 love 2 write asexual sex<3

i had a discussion with my qpp recently about how in all honesty the smut i write is pretty tame, its just the character emotions written behind it that makes it feel a bit deranged. smth smth scarian is a chemical explosion. u understand

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!!!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeppers!! the art of rawgabbitry (BNHA) received a translation to Russian, which i always found a bit funny because rawgabbitry is. one of my least favorite works ive ever written, if only for the type of comments it tended to receive back in the day 😭😭😭😭

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

ive never managed it honestly-- i get a bit precious about my process, which can make it hard to collaborate on that level. but its something ive always wanted to grow enough as a writer to try :]

What's your all-time favorite ship?

not so much of a singular OTP type of guy as i have favorite pairings per fandom im in-- that being said rn its scarian :P

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

pretty much all of my dsmp wips honestly. i may surprise myself someday, but for now i just have zero urge to actually finish any of them

What are your writing strengths?

like my pal karliahs im gonna rip these from the comments ive received 😅😅😅 but id definitely say imagery is my strongest skill!! i have a very strong imagination, and tend to see fic scenes as movie scenes in my head which i then transcribe into written format. id like to say im also really skilled at characterization and realistic dialogue that captures character voices very well!! and frankly i just love emotional realism so much i cant NOT write it, its always leaking into everything i do

What are your writing weaknesses?

i tend to get a little too funky and abstract with my descriptions sometimes-- that can work for some scenes, but grounding everything so that it feels more real and makes actual sense to the reader is something i often have to do on the second, third, and final passes

also to every person who has to crack open a thesaurus to understand what i write, i am so fucking sorry😭💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

no thoughts beyond if its not a language you're proficient in you should probably get that checked over by a native speaker, just in case :P

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

fairy tail..... ff.net was a dark place

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

crying sobbing wailing as i desperately beg my brain to start writing that post-canon siffrin and odile relationship study. unfortunately i dont think i can have more than one longfic on my docket at a time so it shrimply must wait

What's your favorite fic you've written?

to the surprise of absolutely nobody, i'd have say lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) (HC/LIFE) :]

No obligation, but im tagging: @raichett, @kayawolfhorse, @boonbeenblade, @sillyfairygarden, and @grimfey !!! And anyone else who wants to do this ofc :]]]❤️❤️❤️❤️

[vasito-de-leche]

iff its still alright for requests then maybe somethingg small n maybe sleepy with forget me not ? nothing specific otherwise just

sleepy eeby forget me not fic. either that or wrangling his soggy ass to sleep(for once

;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - "five minutes"

Forget Me Not x Reader. 2.8k words fluff Being in charge of The Walden has its ups and downs - Forget Me Not enjoys being the conductor of an orchestra composed of dying men and women, even if it costs him hours of precious sleep. You make sure to remind him that even the most powerful broker in Chicago deserves a little nap.

this mf has been fighting me for a month or so, it's so hard to write him SLEEPING, HE RLLY DOESNT WANT TO. I HAVE 3 DIFFERENT DRAFTS GRAAAA so here we are. I fought tooth and nail for this, theres 4 different drafts just about FMN getting some fucking sleep. this one even has like, a different version where you fall asleep on his lap instead bc he keeps FIGHTING ME

either way, ty for the request, nonnie! your ask was the perfect excuse to get this done. sorry it ended up being longer than my usual stuff, I just really love the guy

The amount of work needed to maintain an establishment like The Walden often goes unnoticed.

Its elegant ambience and decor, all the powerful and influential people to rub shoulders with, the precise and meticulous organization behind every single detail and decision - all of it can be attributed to a single man, the very same who leads the crowd and makes their drinks.

When the night arrives, he and The Walden come alive.

Hundreds of desperate rats crawl into his den, searching for things they don't deserve: money, fame, fortune, connections, assets. They want to find their place in the world before they're long forgotten, and this is when Forget Me Not steps onto the stage and finds himself in his element, surrounded by all the people who look at him in fear, disgust and awe.

Do they know? That at the end of the world, he holds their fate in the palm of his hand? Him, a simple broker, a middle man.

An inferior, an arcanist.

Of course, the high fades as soon as the sun rears its ugly head over the horizon, his spirits plummet to the ground when the world returns to that monotonous routine. All Forget Me Not can do now is wait.

He would never dream of being so careless as to have his own residence right above his workplace, but he rarely steps into his home in the first place. It's too much trouble to commute back and forth, wasting time in a building that is as devoid of warmth as the blood running through his veins. That private office nestled somewhere within The Walden has become his new safe haven, in fact - with one too many couches to lounge around and no bed in sight.

Not that he sleeps anyway.

Forget Me Not always fancied the most convoluted route into an early grave, and thus has replaced the bottle for something else: endless paperwork.

It's getting harder and harder to conceal the dark bags under his eyes for a semblance of professionalism. How very fitting that, despite all of his efforts and accomplishments, his quality of life continues to deteriorate. What a depressing thought.

The leather of his seat squeaks as he shifts, leaning backwards to fully take in the piles and piles of files atop his desk. His gaze turns to the clock just to confirm what he already knows - it's a little past 6 AM, the cold breeze of the early morning keeping him wide awake. A brand new shipment of materials will arrive in two hours, they will need to be stored but it's an easy enough job for the Disciples. This means that the next important event on his schedule is the meeting at 11 AM. Forget Me Not's face sours right away at the thought, and he reaches for his drink.

And just like that, without any sort of warning, the door to his office is flung open. It's a good thing that despite his awful, awful health, his grip is as steady as ever - not a single drop is spilled. If else, Forget Me Not remains still as a statue, retaining that air of composed aloofness as he raises an inquisitive eyebrow towards the intruder.

It's you, standing perfectly by his door frame. He almost drops the glass once he recognizes your face, but conceals his little slip by settling it back down on his desk.

"Ah, how rare to see you during the day, you're always so busy with errands. To what do I owe this loud, impromptu visit? Keep in mind, I don't start serving drinks until 8 PM."

You don't wait for him to finish, marching towards the small lounge in his office and picking up a small, decorative pillow before dropping backwards onto one of the sofas. A shadow passes over Forget Me Not's eyes - he doesn't know whether to resent you for knowing you have the freedom and privilege to act like this around him, or whether to feel insulted for the way you ignored him just now. He settles for his usual third, secret option - resignation - and makes his way towards you.

Unlike you, Forget Me Not has mastered the art of concealing his presence and so he makes no sound at all when he approaches. He stands right next you, leaning ever so slightly to hover above your face, as if his piercing grey eyes alone could pressure you into speaking.

It doesn't work, at least not right away. You hide behind that useless pillow, then you shift and turn to lay on your side, all while he simply stands in perfect silence. It's a battle of attrition, one he intends to win.

"I slept like shit, okay? Just give me five minutes here and I'll go back to work." Your voice is muffled, but he hears how tired you are anyway.

It's easy to forget that people aren't nocturnal like him, at least not by choice. It's easy to forget about humanity when most of his coworkers are puppets held by strings and ink, mindlessly following orders. When you curl up on the sofa, Forget Me Not remembers just how tired he is and sighs. Soon, he's walking towards the door.

This makes you sit up in a hurry, clearly misinterpreting his actions. "Five minutes, promise! Don't kick me out!"

There's a faint click, it's the lock on the door. Forget Me Not returns to his desk, making sure not to look your way lest his eyes reveal those wretched feelings bubbling in his chest. Did you seriously think he had the nerve to throw you out so carelessly?

"Ten minutes. Make sure not to waste them with chitchat." He can practically sense you silently cheering and getting comfortable in his office. On his couch. It's insufferable, the way you always get what you want while he slaves away with work.

But it's only ten minutes, he can tolerate you for that long.

Three minutes pass, and Forget Me Not realizes that he's spent more time glancing your way than reading the document in front of him.

From his spot, he can only see the top of your head, just a glimpse of your form as you rest your eyes. But every time you move, no matter how subtle, he notices and turns his attention back onto you.

Seven minutes, he only needs to focus for seven minutes. The document in his hand is important: he's negotiating for better materials for his potions at a cheaper cost. This simple deal could mean a lot for Manus Vindictae, always so low on funds, resources and support.

Six minutes. Forget Me Not hears you hum and he slowly turns his head on instinct. You're staring right at him, face resting on the armrest, squishing your cheek against the plush cushions.

"You have four minutes left, are you sure you want to waste them like this?" He lies, as if he wasn't ready to ignore the passage of time to give you a few more extra minutes, expecting you to comply. But you get back at him with a question of your own.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Three minutes." It comes out as a warning. You ignore it.

"I'm serious! You look awful from here." By now, you're sitting down and he knows that if he doesn't stop you, you'll make your way to him. To invade his personal space, cradle his face in your hands and torture him with your gentle touch. "You're always here when I start my shift and when I finish. Where do you get the time to go home and all of that?"

Forget Me Not would rather swallow his own tongue than to openly admit that he essentially lives here. That he has spare clothes in the drawer by the window, that he showers, eats and sleeps in this office of his. You might've figured it out by now, but with his pride and dignity at stake, he pretends to ignore you in favour of work.

"Hey, c'mon. Don't just go back to work like I'm not even here talking to you!" He does exactly that, picking up a pen to sign a few documents. "Drop that. Drop the pen. Hey!"

You talk to him the same way one would talk to a misbehaving dog, and he hears that whiny, frustrated tone in your voice that he's come to appreciate. There is a pause and Forget Me Not does as told - the pen now resting neatly on the desk.

He finally deigns himself to look at you, returning a small smile.

"Thank you, now, like I was saying-"

Thud!

With his free hand, he stamps a document, never breaking eye contact. The pettiness is always worth it, but this time even more so when he sees that tic in your eye and the way you inhale sharply, absolutely done with him. You sit up, consider laying down again in frustration, then simply cross your arms like a child throwing a tantrum - seeing you get worked up over the smallest of things is always such a treat.

"Fine! Be like that! But don't come running when you- Uwaaah!" A yawn interrupts your words, you barely have time to cover your mouth.

Oh no. It's contagious. He feels that tell-tale tingle in his nose, and just like that, he yawns as well.

"Aha! You are tired, I bet you haven't slept properly in days!" An accusatory finger is now pointed at him, and Forget Me Not fights the impulse to roll his eyes.

"That's quite the leap to make over a simple gesture like that. Your time is up, by the way - please, go back to work."

"I'm telling on you, Forget Me Not. I'm so telling on you."

He gives a raspy laugh at this. "And who will you be telling about my horrible sleeping habits? The waiters? The delivery boy? Our esteemed guests?" The latter would definitely eat up any sort of information about his private life, especially if it was something to ruin his reputation, but he doesn't share this out loud.

"Ahh... So, you admit it, then? Having the worst sleeping schedule known to mankind?" Touché.

Before he can even reply, your mouth opens in a feigned yawn and Forget Me Not seethes when he finds himself imitating you. He seethes even more over the smug smile on your face. And he wishes he could just die on the spot when you scoot over and pat the empty seat next to you. Him? Rest? With you? Absolutely not.

"Ten minutes," a tight knot forms in his throat when you start to coax him in. "I'm sure you can spare that much, since you've been indulging me for this long! If you were actually busy, you would've just sent me home to rest. C'mere, sit."

What is the point in keeping track of time by now? Forget Me Not will be by your side until you decide to leave. Indulging you and your stupid ideas, your well-meaning and annoying habits, your reactions - all of it, they're his favorite vice and he never learned how to quit.

"Five minutes." He sits next to you.

"Fair enough." You scoot closer to him.

He watches when you link your arm with his, not bothering to ask for permission. Typical. Your palm is warm as you rest it over his forearm, fingers drumming idly over the soft fabric of his shirt. But you don't linger for too long, and slide down until your index and middle fingers reach the bare skin of his inner wrist, over the pronounced vein there. Can you feel his pulse? The shameless and frantic beat of his heart?

Forget Me Not is so entranced by this simple action that he fails to notice the sudden extra weight - your head rests on his shoulder, with your cheek pressed against the prominent bone. He knows it's an uncomfortable position, because you shift and nuzzle closer to his chest, the top of your head and your hair now tickling his neck and jawline. The knot in his throat returns and he holds his breath on instinct, like an animal at the verge of being devoured.

Nevermind the constant cycle of violence and doom he's turned his life into, these are the horrors that keep Forget Me Not up at night: your body against his, your displays of affection.

"Your eyes," the soft murmur of your voice pulls him from the awful, nonsensical noise in his mind. You're looking up at him. "You're meant to close them. That's what this whole thing is for. Unless ...you can sleep with your eyes open?"

"Don't be ridiculous. As if such a short amount of time could make me fall asleep." He huffs, a way to conceal just how out of breath he is. Part of him is afraid to close his eyes, knowing that he will feel each and every little thing you do - only tenfold. And what would he do with himself then, when all he can focus on is your finger tracing shapes over his palm? It tickles. It's distracting. It's unbearable.

His hand flinches, just barely, and you interlock your fingers with his in response.

"Hush and close them!" Always so obedient to your commands, Forget Me Not does as told, cursing you in his mind.

He gives you an inch, and you take a mile - the moment his eyes are closed, his body turns rigid but you still coax him backwards, so that he can lean on the backrest of the couch. It takes the coordinated effort of every single muscle in his body not to melt on the spot, to remain in a proper, sitting position. With you nestled so comfortably by his side, Forget Me Not makes the worst mistake in his life: he turns his head towards you, his nose now buried in your hair.

The content and pleased noise that leaves him is something that feels alien, entirely out of character for someone like him. Right away, he feels the tips of ears burning with shame and his body uselessly recoils away from you, trying to revert back into that persona he's created for the world.

It backfires immediately.

"...Hm? Is your arm getting numb? Here, let's switch." You move away, all while your hands cradle his face in order to guide him over to your lap.

It's a painfully slow process that is simultaneously over in the blink of an eye. Forget Me Not doesn't know what's worse, the fact that he didn't put up a fight or the way he feels so incredibly small, being held so lovingly by you.

He's laying on his back, hands resting uselessly over his chest like a corpse in an open casket funeral. If he glances upwards (a difficult thing to do, because you flick his forehead whenever you catch him wide awake) he can see you hoarding all the pillows available within your reach to support you as you lounge about, still hellbent on sleeping in with him.

Did he die at some point throughout the day without noticing? Is this his own personal Hell? Forget Me Not wants to speak, to say anything and regain control of the situation, but nothing comes out. All there is to do is to lay there, with your hands combing through his hair.

His heart might as well burst out of his chest. Even better, crawl up his throat and choke him from inside out.

Without thinking, he sits up. It's a nervous impulse. You can't see his face with his back turned to you and he's grateful for the small moment of privacy, as he steels himself to send you away. Or to fuck off into The Walden and walk around aimlessly to cool off, and then avoid you for a few weeks. Whichever comes first.

"Oh! Want a pillow or something? I kind of just took them all without thinking." He doesn't deserve this sort of contact, this domestic bliss - he doesn't want it either.

"Hey, do you think we could do this more often? Just... make some time for me in that busy schedule of yours?" And why would he? You're already pretty skilled at turning his life upside down with your constant nagging and your antics.

"Sorry for being this sappy so suddenly, it just came to mind...Oh, oh! Wait! While you're at it, mind closing the window, please? It's getting a liiittle cold in here."

Forget Me Not leaves his glasses on the table and lays back down, this time making sure to wrap his arms as tightly as he can around your waist, his face hidden in your stomach. What he receives is a weak chuckle, a weak complaint and a weak attempt at pushing him away. You don't mean it, of course - the same way he never means any of the things he thinks.

"Hm, I believe it's perfect like this."

"You're just saying that because you're going to leech off my own body heat, you little snake."

There's a hint of victory in your voice, you've won once again against him but you're always too nice to rub it in. Instead, you caress the scales on his neck, now on full display for you. It's a heavenly sensation.

"Perhaps," he murmurs, eyes closed. "But what are you going to do? Kick me out of my own office?"

"I might if you don't get some rest. Sleep, now."

And just like that, Forget Me Not unravels - he's been waiting so long to be given permission, for someone to allow him a moment of peace despite all these restraints holding him back.

He knows that the moment wakes up, he will act like none of this happened, that he will stubbornly deny everything until his very last breath, but right now, he clings onto you like his life depends on it.

And he falls asleep with your name on his lips

[phagodyke]

.

[vampyrris]

soooo when u get a weirdo in your inbox do u guys respond to them or pretend they dont exist. i feel like both responding and not responding is literally gonna lead towards the same outcome. i dont wanna respond bc why tf would i but also i want to because it involves someone??. people in this platform are pissing me the fuck off i just wanna read and write shit related to levi bro even twitter isnt this controversial?? are yall okay is everything good at home???

i dont wanna turn the anonymous messages option off i feel like thats just not cool i respect people who read my stuff too much but also like idk

dont hop on my dick (again x2) but im just gonna go back to pretending no one is real everyone is just a username on my screen, at least that way i wont feel miserable coming on this app. i dont get on here a lot in general and im not invested like that too, i have a life. its why i struggle with uploading or editing my drafts so much too im not lazy i was joking lmfao i really do have shit to do irl believe it or not. work and studies keep handing my ass back to me and some of yall invent drama on here to stay high on. pathetic.

if youre reading this anon, which i lowkey feel like is the same one as before who tried stirring the pot, find a hobby. theres so many to choose from. im gonna start blocking everyone yall try to pit me against for my sake and theirs. i dont have to exist to nobody except for the people who just come on here to read fics like me.

peace.

[spikesbunny]

♥︎ DRINK ♥︎

+ warnings: intoxicated sex, both reader and spike are drunk, vaginal fingering, p in v sex, couch sex, semi-public? sex (you're fucking when everyones asleep in the common room so u tell me), slightly ooc spike, spike believes in fuck buddies, porn with an unnecessary amount of plot, does mention canon events slightly (such as julia, brief implication of vicious)

+ ft: spike spiegel x fem reader

+ wc: 1.1k

+ desc: you and spike regulary drank alone together once the crew was asleep. for some reason, tonight seems to be different, and the border between friendship or more is crossed.

+ notes: i fucking yapped way too much, this ones been sitting in the drafts a while lol

reposting from @/roronoaism, all content is mine!!

nsfw under cut, minors dni!!!

it was normal for two friends to enjoy drinking with your friend. it was normal to get tipsy enough that reality and your head blurred together in a sweet symphony. it was not normal to be staring at said drinking buddy and wondering how she looked in various positions.

you lay draped on the couch in the common room of the bebop, alternating between throwing back vodka shots with spike and sipping on the wine that sat neatly on the table.

your body was framed deliciously by the light, and spike couldnt tell whether it was his dick or the alcohol speaking for him. probably both.

the conversation had went down many paths since everyone else scampered off to bed, leaving the two of you to gossip and yap to your hearts content, the liquor causing words to flow unguarded.

"spike" you begin, turning to him. "have you considered finding a lover? a new girlfriend, or a guy, if that entertains you?"

commitment, yes. spikes (other, more 'alive') nemesis. julia had been his everything, but everyone (even poor ed) learned how tragic that love story had been - truly. yet somehow here you were, captivating his attention in only the way she could.

he had sworn off commitment since, it had only scarred him. "no" he finally replies. "i prefer something more 'in the moment'."

"ah, so fuck buddies?" you ask, sipping your wine.

damn you. the lipstick you wore left stains on the glass, sending blood straight down.

"sure, if you wanna put it like that." he sighed, taking a sip of his wine. "what about you, hm?"

"i prefer commitment, the feeling of having someone to call your own. so what if theres challenges, working them out together and learning together isnt too bad."

he nodded, getting up and sitting next to you. you take it as an invitation to drape you legs across his thighs, his brain short circuiting again.

"not surprised, you seem like a mushy romance typa gal"

"what, does the grandeur spike spiegel not like romantic gestures?" you coo teasingly, a faint blush creeping up his face.

"not really, my lifes too busy for that..." spike trails off, eyeing your body.

you roll your eyes, smirking. "i live the same life as you lot, doofus. i find the time. youre just scared."

yeah, thats it. not that he would ever admit it, especially not to you. it pissed him off how well you got him, yet oddly aroused him at the same time.

his hand mindlessly trails to your thigh, rubbing the skin exposed by your skirt.

silence fills the room, his hand burning your body. you werent complaining, it felt nice. oddly soothing.

"you know, i never considered fuck buddies. men are so... needy, and selfish at times." you finally chirp, his hand trailing higher.

"yea? maybe you just dont hang around the right crowd, not to discredit ya or anything" spike replies, his handing slipping onto your inner thigh, his pads fidgeting with the hem of your underwear.

where did he get this sudden surge of confidence, he had no clue.

you raised an eyebrow at him, before nodding, the words unspoken between you two.

his hand slipped under the garment, thumb ghosting your clit.

"i dont know what it is about ya, but for some reason, it makes me wanna dump any sort of reasoning i have."

you giggle, a manicured nail holding your head up. "that might be the alcohol, darlin."

your breath hitches as he teases a finger in and out of your entrance, never fully sinking it in.

"yea, and not you?"

"mm, maybe me. i do have my ways"

he nods, finally inserting a finger, slowly delving it in and out in a fluid motion.

"spike..." you manage, your mind rambling with an assortment of thoughts, dreams on the cusp of finally being born.

he takes the cue, inserting another, his thumb tracing circles on your clit still.

"maybe i want more than fuck buddies... i dont know, my mind still is racking the possibilities" he admits, planting kisses on your neck, inhaling the mixture of you and booze, an intoxicating aroma he never wants to forget.

his kisses trail to your chest, his lips covering any inch of skin he could access.

"you feel and smell so good, god your like a goddess, you know?"

"you give me too much credit, spike, were both tipsy, your probably hallucinating how good i am." you giggle again, his pace picking up, causing a moan to escape your lips.

"doubt it" he mumbles, capturing your lips in a kiss, need mixed with the left over taste of vodka and wine mixing in your mouth.

heat surges through your stomach, your climax approaching rather quickly. spike helps you ride it out, his fingers slowing down before finally, unfortunately, withdrawing.

he brings them to his mouth, licking them.

"fuck me, this is better than the booze." he groans, his hands grabbing at your sides, rubbing melodically.

"you think were done yet? havent even fucked me properly. after all, you wanted a fuck buddy, right?"

he stares at you. him?? fuck buddy? from the romanticism chick??

"but- you said-"

"you said it yourself, cowboy. somethin about you makes me wanna forget my rules and throw them to the wind."

he nodded, his hands flying to his sleep pants, discarding them as quickly as possibly.

"why do you gotta do this to me?" he whines, his lips attacking your neck, sucking at the skin and leaving hickies before gently kissing the area.

it felt like forever, before he finally sunk himself in. you groaned into his mess of hair, planting kisses to the top of his head as he began to rock his hips.

the bebop was quiet, the lights dim. the only hints of life were the snores softly pouring from jets room, and the unmistakable sound of sex and spike and yours drunken (and dully concealed) moans.

the headache from your intake of alcohol was dulled by the man in your arms, your hips colliding with his in a sloppily melody, both chasing after an orgasm and wondering what more could come from this?

what would your relationship be like now? friends has been crossed the moment he fingered you, and now he was balls deep in you, marking your neck as his. would you follow his wishes and ditch your dreams and be fuck buddies, or would he throw his pride to the side and be your lover, your boyfriend, your partner in crime?

the knot in your stomach snaps, sending you over the edge again alongside the brunette. he lays in your arms, your breathing almost in sync with his, lazy kisses pressed into your jaw.

silence falls again, as the two of you begin to doze off, leaving clean up and the discussions for the morning.

©2024 spikesbunny - please do not repost or translate my works on other media sites ♡

[sonic-adventure-3]

I accidentally drew the same goddamn pose 3 times lmao. Why is posing legs so hard i always fall back on posing them in the shape of a 4. Also, new freak!! Her name is Jerryjack. More about her + individual images + couple other things below the cut vvv

I don’t think I’ve posted any drawings of her other than her first, but i’ve been drawing rig a lot more like this rather than that first one. More graphic head shape, more upright ears, one eye hidden, mouth hidden by scarf, what have you. I think she looks cooler and is way easier to draw like this, but is a little less sonicy, im sure I’ll find a balance sometime. Rare carrion non-blep, this pose is cool but i did not even try cleaning this up lol.

And jerryjack!! She sucks so bad i love her. They’re Rig’s best friend, known each other since they were kids and learned the trade (killing) under the same mentor. She’s 11 months older than Rig, so she’s about 25ish. She hates consistency, commitment, seriousness, kids, stagnation, compassion, anything boring, and many many other things. She loves anything fun, stirring shit, lying, inflicting blunt force trauma, herself, lockpicking, and money. She’s purely self-interested and does everything she does for funsies. She’s not a part of the postal crew cause she thinks it’s boring and is allergic to commitment but hangs around and ‘helps out’ sometimes. She’s a hitman on her own, and has way more connections through that than rig, occasionally floats jobs her way. Also sometimes places bounties on her when shes mad. Or just cause.

Unlike Jerry, Rig is a very routine and organized person. She wakes up every morning at 6 sharp despite not being a morning person. Miraculously, she and jerry lived together for 2 years and during that time rig ate microwaved oatmeal every single morning and got groceries on tuesdays. All this is to say Rig is very methodical and likes routing and things that are expected. So Jerry lost their shit when rig called them randomly and casually told them that she’s starting a non-euphemistic postal service and also spontaneously took in a couple kids. Naturally, she’s very wary of squabble and carrion, especially the latter. Assassin recognizes assassin, silly recognizes silly, they try to kill each other and then become besties (who still periodically attempt to kill each other). As for squabble, she’s surprisingly fun to interact with, so jerry warms up fairly quick and becomes a truly awful influence on her.

Here’s the first drafts and base. She’s obviously a jackalope but calls herself a hare for some reason. Is part of that reason because i couldn’t think of a pun name other than jack like jackrabbit and ‘jack the jackalope’ sounded a little too stupid for my taste (as if ‘jerryjack’ isn’t stupider)? Ummmmmmm.

Anyway, i decided to nix the asymmetrical antlers cause theres a limit to how much asymmetry i should stuff into a set of characters, carrion’s already got the lopped off ear and etc. the back and tail marking is supposed to emulate ribs

I’m still super duper undecided on jerry’s outfit and colour scheme. Every outfit ive thought up so far feels way too simple or untethered to reality in comparison to the postal crew’s, however i think the postal crew is a bit too complicated (or way too complicated in squabble’s case) and too grounded for sonic, so. Idk what to do abt that. And as for their colour scheme, as seen above her first drafts have the same red and green of the postal crew, but seeing as she doesn’t work with them it’s definitely the better choice to diverge from that. Saturated orange is the most tense and unsettling colour to me so i think it suits her off putting nature, but the white and orange combo reminds me intensely of like. 1960s egg chairs. WAIT and ulala space channel 5. And various stupid tech startup kitchen gadgets. Just generally a combo with a lot of nonthreatening and safe associations rather than the warning sign i want. Idk man i’ll workshop it eventually.

Also, cloak rig. Her previous red coat was stupid. Not sure how much smarter this is but it looks cooler. Still doesn’t usually wear it other than in towns to hide her wings or when it’s cold. Also also this is the same fucking pose again

[my-castles-crumbling]

TO CAMP ANON

Hi love! Someone sent some advice to you, so I'm putting it under the cut because it's a bit heavy. I hope you're doing well <3

I’ve been keeping up with your tumblr and your asks and stuff, and I hope it’s okay but I had something to say to Camp Anon.

I sort of inferred the situation through your answers Cas. When I was a kid I was often in group at church with other “rebellious” kids. I know now that we were all the queer kids who hadn’t realised yet (credit to them, maybe some of them had) and then when I turned 16 and partly figured myself out I started getting invested in peoples stories.

By that point a lot of the kids I’d gone to church with were also closeted, and we started talking to each other about ourselves and our experiences.

And turns out a few of those kids went to conversion camps. The summers before and after I found out. 

One of the kids was a year older than me and is still a very close friend of mine. She’s actually taking a course to be a therapist now.

And there were a few things they said (and my friend still says when she decides to talk about it) that I thought maybe you should know. 

It seems like from Cas’ answers to the ask, that Camp Anon has been somewhere before and I presume is going somewhere else again this summer? (Parents don’t usually send kids the same place twice in a row)

Look, I have some advice that’s gonna suck but I think you should hear it. You need to know before you go to the camp what sort of level/type the camp it is. 

There are ways to find out and i’m gonna list some here and just do as much research as you can (safely) because if you’re unprepared it will be difficult to leave if you need to.

So the camp has to find away of telling parents what it’s like without directly saying it. It’s often found in quotes.

Theres a big difference between “helping your child” and “healing your child” and “fixing your child”. 

Helping usually means giving quotes and bibles and doing straight kid activities (whatever that means).

Healing usually means a lot of churchy sessions, “explaining” what’s wrong with you, being more delicate

And then fixing means being absolute dickheads. 

There should also be a website somewhere, or a form or something that your parents had to sign. Sometimes that can be over an email or sometimes it’s a letter. It’s just another way for the camp to cover their asses. Whatever is written inside it should give a vague message about the danger level, how many things they want to cover themselves for.

Also- about recording the camp. If you do decide to (no pressure, always prioritise your safety), focus on filming the other kids around you. If your phone is caught or found, if the videos start of silly with other kids in (as long as they know the risk of being caught with a phone too), it’s unlikely someone will scroll through all the videos, which will mean even if they’re deleted, you won’t rise too much suspicion. 

You can also hide videos in other places, like take a video you have and put it in a draft on your tumblr account, and then delete it from your phone. That can be done on Insta too. It does require internet but I assume you have mobile data.

Also camps without phones will still have wifi for adults, sometimes this is free wifi. If it is, don’t use it (if possible).

Also, sometimes the location of the camp on fliers won’t be the real location. For example, it might be the location of the church you go to, but the place you sleep might be one road over, so stay awake. Keep an eye on road names if you move from the location your parents dropped you off at (in case someone needs to come get you, and then can’t find you). 

It is illegal to say that being queer kids can be “fixed”. It’s against the law for camps to do this. Conversion therapy is illegal and wrong. Morally wrong and literally wrong. Not a thing. Doesn’t work. Total fucking bullshit.

And be careful. I know there’s a temptation to bring a weapon (like a knife) with you to these places, and it makes sense. But these kids have been through a lot, like you, and can be really depressed and have mental health issues. And you don’t want a kid to do something bad to themselves with a knife you brought with you to the camp. 

(Cas here: just remember if that ever happens, it's NOT your fault)

Just think it through. 

And be careful who you talk to, some of these kids believe the stuff they’re told. It’s not their fault but don’t assume everyone will agree with you about the situation. 

I don’t want to get too involved, I understand this is an overwhelming thing and reaching out just to talk about it was so brave. If you’d like I can ask my friend, who’s been to places like that, if there’s any personal advise she can give.  Or not, either way is fine. 

And finally, the area I grew up in had a terrible social services place nearby, and when you called the number for social services that school gave you, they’d just send someone from there. There was a kid I used to know who called social services on his family and the guy who showed up was friends with his dad. 

Idk if you have good social services or not but do some research first if you can ❤️

(Cas again: let me know if you want me to reach out to this anon to ask any questions or to get info from their friend! We support you <3)

[fearowkenya]

Winds of Change -

Chapter 2: The Perfect Storm

Shuuji hangs there, breathless in its grip, and everything fades away until there’s nothing left but what he can see in that wild pair crimson eyes, swirling with anger, anguish, and above all else—fear. Maybe he’s too afraid to string together an apology, or maybe it’s that he knows there’s no use in offering one.  Either way, what a fitting end, for a pair of monsters to destroy one another.  But there’s always a critic, and today it’s Ryo.

Shuuji makes it out of the fight in the waterway alive, but somehow, it still goes horribly, horribly wrong.

AO3 link in source, and, as always, extended author's notes under the cut! (:

whoops! the chapter is late. I thought I'd have time to post it before my dads wedding yesterday, but wouldnt you know it, there wasnt quite enough time to get everything formatted properly without rushing thru it.  I was super tired after the wedding and tried my best to at least do my first proofreading before bed, but i kept dozing off. so here I am. better late then never!

this chapter was an absolute blast to write! i figured that one good way to really justify the groups collective paranoia was to let wendimon get VERY close to accomplishing a total party wipe. the mood I was going for was something similar to the hopelessness of trying to take down plutomon or boltboutamon - no matter how many megas get thrown at them, it never seems like enough. that's why I made wendimon a fair bit stronger than what's typical of a champion level digimon.

as I said in my author's notes on ao3, I think this kind of situation would definitely justify falcomons behavior too, both while hes actively arguing with minoru, as well as the time he spends refusing to return to the group even after minoru apologizes. falcomon has his insecurities like the rest of them, but hes always seemed to me like the one who is the most self-assured in who he is and what he cares about.

that's not to say that the others arent, but in terms of his understanding of the world and of himself, I find that falcomon is the one whose identity has the strongest foundation, and I think watching something like this happen to arguably the most gentle member of their group shakes that foundation to its core. 

even when the professor explains that this only happened because of a partner bond sustained severe damage, i think it would do very little to ease falcomon's worries -  it's hard to tell just how messed up minoru's self-image is under the big smiley front he puts up to hide his insecurities, and falcomon KNOWS that. but that's beyond the scope of what I'm exploring in this fic lol. it might be something I circle back to later on though! minoru is the character I find most interesting on my second run of truthful; there are SO many subtleties about him that i absolutely did not notice the first time around.

anyway, the waterway. hoo boy, the waterway. choreographing the waterway fight was probably the hardest part of writing this chapter. when I first drafted it, i was very confident in the image I had in my head of the waterway battlefield, but when I went to check screenshots, it turned out that I had it all wrong! so I had to rework the whole damn thing! which was really hard, because the biggest challenge was keeping track of where every single character was placed on the field!

the goal was to spread characters out so that they weren't all bunched together, but still located conveniently enough such that I could pull them into the fight with wendimon when necessary. in order to do this, i drew a big stupid diagram on actual physical paper made one big (temporary) change to the waterway battlefield which i doubt anybody noticed unless you, like me, are unhinged enough to study the structure of the in-game locations down to the smallest details.

in the game, a little behind the place on the map where you set your units, theres a gap on the left that usually has a treasure chest on the other side, one that you have to send a flying unit to retrieve unless you want to go alllllllllllll the way around. I needed to be able to get takuma, minoru, miu, and kaito over there so that arukenimon could be all menacing on the top of the stairs, but i couldnt figure out how to make it work without having to make them go past wendimon on the central path and around megaseadramon on the top left platform. so what I did is... close that gap.

but closing the gap created the problem where the kids could easily use that path to regroup with Shuuji and the others. which was inconvenient when i needed them to stay split up. so you can imagine how clever I felt when I had megaseadramon cut them off by destroying the stairs and putting the gap right back , which is what I meant when I said the change I made to the battlefield was temporary lmao

speaking of megaseadramon, when i was first writing this chapter, i was very overwhelmed at the idea of having to simultaneously balance the fight against wendimon with the fight against megaseadramon. splitting the party seemed like the obvious choice, but it felt very anticlimactic to be like "oh yeah here comes the other half of the group to the rescue, they kicked megaseadramon's ass off-camera lol"

by that same token, I didnt want to put TOO much focus on megaseadramon and detract from wendimon. so once again I felt like a genius when I realized that the solution was simply to have wendimon not only deal with megaseadramon, but raise the stakes and tension by demonstrating that it is on a completely other level compared to the other champion stage digimon. (in poor megaseadramon's defense, it was not at all expecting to be attacked by wendimon, and was likely at least a little worn-down by shellmon, sangloupmon, greymon, and diatrymon. I think it would have fared much better against wendimon in a clean one-on-one match.)

as for wendimons defeat, well... no matter how much I amp up its strength, I felt that taking a point-blank giga destroyer would probably do the trick. AND give us some truly horrific imagery. I struggled a LOT with that last couple of paragraphs, and I'm still not sure if I was able to give the exact image i wanted to leave off with at the very end.

while this chapter answered a bunch of questions asked in the first one, it also raised plenty more. theres some stuff i set up here that I'm really looking forward to people catching on to (: unless they've caught on already...?? heehee (: i wonder which things will take people by surprise, and which ones they saw coming a mile away...?

on that note, id love to hear what people think of the fic so far. kudos are nice and I greatly appreciate them, but nothing launches me over the moon quite like comments. I'm so curious to know what part(s) people liked best, both about this chapter and the first, as well as any predictions people have about the stuff I'm starting to hint at as I get further into the story. i won't confirm or deny anything of course, but it will make me smile so so so big.

please look forward to chapter 3! I'll evaluate when exactly I'm posting it as the week goes on, as im currently away from home and have a bunch of busy days coming up - I'll be sitting thru a 4 hour car ride on sunday and trying to see some friends on monday before I fly home on Tuesday , so I cant say with any certainty when chapter 3 will be out other than at some point within that Sunday-Monday-Tuesday timeframe. thank you for reading, please consider leaving a comment, and until next time!