#converting the files remotely for now because im not dealing with that shit tn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soupblr · 11 days ago

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oh im actually going to kill someone literally the first thing i thought was that the files must be transcribed weird. I WAS FUCKING RIGHT WHY IS IT TRANSCODING SHIT IN REAL TIME AT THE ABSOLUTE MAX POSSIBLE FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!! THAT SETTING WAS OFF!! omg is it the files i got or something i thought they were fine. i feel like an insane person rn why is all my shit changed. if u literally told me someone broke in and changed a bunch of small things to make my setup work badly i would believe you because what the actual fuck. i was gonna say i need to listen to myself but i fixed like 3 other problems by not fixing what is probably the main fucking issue and itll be faster than before now but holy shit holy fucking shit oh my god

#WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #pain and suffering and pain and suffering and pain etc #replacing these files asap i fucking knew it :/ i will have to go into the server settings and verify that nothing else is fucked up first #cuz idfk why its even doing that??? it should never do that???#converting the files remotely for now because im not dealing with that shit tn #<- i always say that and then keep working on it though :/#is that a regulation thing why do i do that. like when ur definitely not gonna go for a walk ur just gonna put ur coat on and stand outside #haha oh thank god i dont need to deal with that rn. *calms down* okay let me deal with it right now #mentally i am already not doing and done with the task simultaneously this is the only way to do the task #i should revisit the mastery section of my dbt skills i think #context i feel confident in my ability to fix tech problems i know it just requires persistence . so its easy to recover and jump back in #even though tech issues get on my nerves very fucking quickly. i can use little mind tricks like that to regulate w/o thinking about it #but i struggle to do that when i lack mastery. the outcome isnt assured so it's harder to not get stuck on details and give up #i think so anyway idk maybe im thinking about it too deep. i'll go over it again anyway though now that i'm looking at it #ive been trying to catch when im doing stuff like that more often because i know i have a LOT of tricks like that that feel intrinsic to me #i dont think about them its just how i function. so its invisible to me unless i tune in #i was thinking about that yesterday when i was smoking bc i realized a huge part of socializing for me is overthinking...#but its literally necessary? i am SO prone to saying the exact wrong hurtful thing. if i didnt turn things over in my head before i spoke #i would hurt people a lot and not on purpose. i catch myself at least once a day and think jesus god i'm glad i didn't say that #that gets misconstrued as social anxiety when its like no i LITERALLY just need to do it unless you want me to say very hurtful things #i think most people do not need to do that..? like i cant just Be Myself that bitch is a hugeeeeeee cuntttttttttt lol #and still a lot of stuff gets past because i dont realize the implications of what im saying...#thats why i cant fucking stand people who dont say anything when theyre hurt or just expect you to realize without expressing it #maybe they're scared of confrontation but i dont need people around me if theyre just passively miscontruing me as a careless asshole #i am an asshole! but i care! i try not to be one like really hard i swear to god #if you cant speak up when you are hurt you should not expect anyone to hear you thats how i feel #okay my file are done bai #z

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