#even though tech issues get on my nerves very fucking quickly. i can use little mind tricks like that to regulate w/o thinking about it

[soupblr]

oh im actually going to kill someone literally the first thing i thought was that the files must be transcribed weird. I WAS FUCKING RIGHT WHY IS IT TRANSCODING SHIT IN REAL TIME AT THE ABSOLUTE MAX POSSIBLE FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!! THAT SETTING WAS OFF!! omg is it the files i got or something i thought they were fine. i feel like an insane person rn why is all my shit changed. if u literally told me someone broke in and changed a bunch of small things to make my setup work badly i would believe you because what the actual fuck. i was gonna say i need to listen to myself but i fixed like 3 other problems by not fixing what is probably the main fucking issue and itll be faster than before now but holy shit holy fucking shit oh my god

[skinsharpenedteeth]

RNM After Dark, Day 2!

Today's story is... different. Medical kink, lab sex, milking machines, barebacking, comeplay... it's a real mixed bag. Definitely rated Explicit. 6883 Words.

Here's a link to the story on AO3!

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"Compromised by a Foreign Body"

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Alex knew the way they were going about it was wrong. No matter how many times his father told him the aliens were nothing more than violent, seditious predators from another world, it never sat right. But, when it was time to do his duty, Alex had stepped into line. He’d even managed to pull his best friend, Liz Ortecho, into working in the biomedical lab for Project Shepherd. Being a Manes meant that even in what should be a strict, military hierarchy, Alex was a prince. So he made his own job, helped out where he wanted, and tried to not think about the things he’d done or seen when he went home at night.

“Alex, can you help me with the specimen extraction this week? I’m really behind on some notations from last week’s experiments. It would be a great help to me,” Liz said one afternoon. He’d been aimless all day, simply walking around the base to look busy but without an actual task. His stomach clenched, however, at the request. Specimen extraction brought him into very close contact with aliens, and there was one whose eyes never seemed to stay on the ground where they belonged. There was one whose eyes followed him, seeming to see through his fatigues and tracing every line of his body underneath.

“The females and males?” Alex asked, clearing his throat to get rid of his nerves. Liz gave him a curious look at the show of anxiety. She knew him well. She could tell this wasn’t something he wanted to do.

“Just the males. I just need a semen specimen. We’re seeing what happens if we crossbreed them with human female eggs and how that effects the DNA and RNA structures of any resulting hybrids. Just grab the three youngest and put them in the collection rooms. One sample from each should be plenty,” Liz went on, already returning to her microscope slides and file notations. Alex made sure to keep his face neutral as she glanced up to studied him while giving her instructions. He nodded shortly and left the lab, already mentally listing the tasks he’d need to perform in order to do a collection.

Alex had been given basic medical training when he’d been taken on at Project Shepherd. It was explained that at any point, one of their captives might have to be taken down with an injection if brute force was inadvisable. He’d also received extensive hand-to-hand combat training. Alex had found it interesting that de-escalation techniques hadn’t been taught as part of his training before coming onto the base. So far he’d only had to use the bare minimum of force to get his job done. He’d turned into something of a Jack-of-all-trades, however, when it came to medical or scientific technical procedures.

First, he stopped by the captive holding area and signaled his brother Flint over from the guard station. Flint gave him an annoyed scowl, but came over to where Alex was waiting.

“What’s up?” Flint asked, always informal to Alex by way of blood. If their father had seen, Flint would’ve been disciplined. Alex, though younger, outranked Flint and therefore should always be treated with the respect of a superior officer. Alex didn’t care as much. Flint was a stooge and would never be more than a glorified prison guard. His pantomimed respect wasn’t needed for Alex to know he was above him. But Alex knew if their father saw Flint being too familiar at work, he’d chastise him with a fist.

“I need male captives Max, Michael, and Noah to specimen collection,” Alex informed Flint formally. Flint gave him a speculative grin, but didn’t say anything. He nodded and went back to the guard desk to inform the other two soldiers on duty. Alex saw them share a glance and chuckle as Alex started towards the pharmacy. His next task was to pick up some Tri-Mix injection and then to make sure a few rooms were set up with the correct equipment for the procedure.

Alex tried to keep his mind on the business at hand. The laughing of the other soldiers needled at him in the back of his mind. He’d done this job a few times, but he didn’t take any pleasure from it. If the other guys could see what was involved in the process, maybe they’d realize that it wasn’t as sexy a scenario as they imagined. Maybe if Alex wasn’t gay, it wouldn’t have been an issue at all. Maybe if the aliens looked more… well… alien and not just like humans, it could’ve just been an abstract curiosity, a shitty work detail. They would’ve just commiserated with him for drawing the short straw. But he was gay, and they didn’t understand what happened behind the closed doors of the extraction rooms and these three aliens in particular were very attractive by human standards. He shuddered to imagine what deprived fantasies they’d built around him and the aliens. This only happened, of course, when he had to work with the males.

He made his way to the long hallway of rooms they used for technical procedures. Alex looked through the monitors over the tech’s shoulder at the monitoring station. Only one room was in use currently, and it looked like an autopsy was taking place. Alex grimaced inwardly to think they’d lost another alien to the ravages of time.

“Anything scheduled in rooms 5, 7, or 9 for the next hour?” Alex asked the monitor tech quietly. The soldier blinked up at him, as if just now aware someone else was in the small room with him. He cleared his throat and picked up the scheduling clipboard from the corner of his desk. Alex’s eyes strayed back to the occupied room, and he watched with sick fascination as things were taken out of the alien’s abdomen and loaded into bowls.

“Uh, looks like they’re free. Need to book ‘em, sir?” the young soldier asked, remembering protocol at the last moment.

“Yeah. Captain Alex Manes. Max, Michael, and Noah are being brought in for specimen extraction,” Alex told the soldier for his notes. He nodded and wrote down the details on his paper copy of the schedule. He’d type it into the online schedule later as well as any observational notes. With a last glance towards the wall of screens, Alex left the room and went to get the equipment cases out of storage.

Each case held a milking machine which included a cylinder with a latex liner, a connector hose, and a suction machine. Alex placed one in each room and plugged in the power supply to the suction machine so it could start warming up. He rifled through the cabinets that lined each room’s walls and found the lubricant, prostate stimulation equipment, and massage wands. He’d never needed to use the extras, but something about their presence made him feel like he was actually there to do a job. The machines would do most of the work. He was really just there to monitor and make sure the samples were collected and labeled correctly for Liz.

As he was just double-checking all his equipment, Dr. Valenti walked into the room he was in. Alex turned and eyed his ex-best friend warily. Kyle had been making strides towards repairing their friendship, but Alex was still skeptical.

“Hey man. Liz said you were doing a collection. I brought you the Tri-Mix injections. Mind if I help out?” Kyle asked, showing him the preloaded injection pens.

“Sure, I guess. There’s not much to do. Just inject them, sleeve them, turn on the milkers, and go get a cup of coffee until the sensors go off,” Alex said flippantly.

“You don’t do any manual or electrical stimulation before you sleeve them?” Kyle asked, sounding a bit shocked. Alex tried to shrug nonchalantly. He didn’t want to admit that manual and electrical stimulation felt like he was crossing a line somehow. He logically knew these were not humans with human feelings or cultural constructs about consent, but in his own mind it was a step too far. The injection made it medical, but if he actually started probing and touching… then it might just be what those soldiers at the containment area thought it was. Kyle must’ve read his thoughts, because he clapped Alex on the shoulder and gave him a patronizing grin.

“You get better samples if you stim them. I can show you on one if you like? Just so you can see it’s not what you think it is,” Kyle offered, squeezing Alex’s shoulder affectionately. Alex absolutely did not want to see… except that he did. He was going to hell for it, but he was curious. In fact, he was fucking fascinated, and he hated himself for it.

“I mean, if you’ve got the time?” Alex said, trying to give Kyle an out.

“Hey, what’s the joke about doctors and always being busy except they’re really golfing? Think of this as my golf break. I’m getting out of the clinic and getting to do something fun for a little while,” Kyle said with a laugh.

As if on cue, the sound of wheels in the hallway alerted them that the captives had arrived. Alex turned to see two men rolling in Max, the largest physically of their aliens, already naked and strapped to a gurney, gag in his mouth (to protect him from biting his tongue while coming off any medications used during the procedure). Alex felt a quick flash of rage that they hadn’t left him clothed or thrown a blanket over him. The guards placed his gurney in the middle of the room, locked the wheels, saluted to Alex and Kyle before they left. Alex watched Kyle’s eyes rove up and down Max’s body covetously. Max had been gagged and given a mild, but quickly dissipating sedative. Alex could tell that he was relatively aware of where he was, but couldn’t fight the bonds. He hardly did, even when the sedative wore off.

“Here, let’s reposition him a little. If we’re going to stim him, I need to have better access to his body. Did the guards flush their systems before they brought them up?” Kyle asked, already unstrapping one of Max’s legs. He reached under the gurney and pulled out a heel stirrup that he gently placed Max’s foot in before re-securing him for safety. He did the same with Max’s other leg, spreading him wide.

“Uh….,” Alex started, completely out of his depth. He looked up at Max who met his eyes and nodded, color infusing his cheeks like a blush. Kyle was finishing with the other foot when Alex finally answered. “Yeah. They did.”

“Good. That means I don’t have to,” Kyle replied with a laugh. He was transforming the gurney from a long bed into practically a chair in front of Alex’s eyes. Alex had no idea the gurneys had so many bells and whistles on them. With his legs spread wide, hips strapped down to the table, and naked, Max looked utterly exposed to them. Kyle was leaning over Max’s upper body, using a pen light to check his responses. “God, the meds they have now are remarkable. He’s already becoming cognizant again!”

“Yeah, they come to pretty quick,” Alex remarked dryly while he watched Kyle do a quick examination, checking reflexes.

"Let's get some gloves on and I'll show you what I mean about the manual stimulation. If he doesn't react, we can always give him the Tri-Mix, but this can sometimes remove the need to even use it," Kyle explained, moving over to the instrument cart and pulling out two pairs of non-latex gloves. He and Alex snapped them on and Kyle rolled the instrument cart over to beside the table. He grabbed a rolling stool that had been left in the corner of the room from another procedure and sat himself down between Max's spread legs. Alex could see Max's confusion as he lifted his head to try and see what Kyle was doing.

"Okay so," Kyle started, drawing Alex's attention back from Max's dark eyes to where he was covering two fingers in a copious amount of lubricant. Alex watched as he used the non-lubricated hand to spread Max's ass cheeks and expose his dusky, puckered hole. Max's leg muscles flexed against their restraints at the feeling. "Just like with human males, these guys have got something like a prostate. You'd stim it the same way you would for a human."

"I usually like my partners to be hard before I go sticking things into their asses," Alex mumbled, trying for a joking tone. Kyle beamed up at him.

"That would be preferable. But if that's the problem, you can stimulate the prostate first and the penis should start getting erect after. Have you worked with these captives before? Do you know if this one is able to get hard without the injection?" Kyle asked. He still held Max's cheeks open, exposing him as he carried on his conversation with Alex. Alex risked a glance up to see that Max was staring resolutely at the ceiling, flushed but stoic to his treatment. Alex wished they were allowed to speak with the captives and that they didn't have to stay gagged when out of confinement. He'd just ask Max if getting hard was an issue, or if it was just the degradation of being used as a lab rat that kept him flaccid.

"I don't know. Like I said, I've never tried to stim them before suctioning. Max has never come in already hard, but his body responds well to the Tri-Fix," Alex replied, trying to ignore the fine tremors he could see in Max's stomach muscles. Kyle was rubbing a thumb in contemplative circles over Max’s hole, spreading the lube from his fingers and almost seeming unaware of what he was doing as he and Alex talked.

"I bet he can! He's a hell of a specimen. Before we try the prostate, let's see if he responds to some other stimulation," Kyle said with an excited clap. He stood up abruptly and walked to the side of the table. Alex stood on the other side, promising himself he would be polite and watch but wouldn't participate. Kyle took his time looking over Max's physique. In a familiar gesture, he set his hands high on Max's chest.

"Hey handsome," Kyle crooned. He slowly rubbed his hands up and down Max's chest, trailing his fingers lightly over the skin. Max darted his eyes to Alex in obvious confusion and alarm. Kyle followed his gaze. "Ignore him. I'm going to take care of you today."

Alex let his eyes slip away and back down to Kyle's hands. They smoothed over Max's skin, down over his ribs and stomach, then back up so his thumbs could tease lightly over Max's dark pink nipples. Max shifted under Kyle's attention.

"You've got to convince the blood to come up to the surface of the skin," Kyle murmured to Alex while he kept eye contact with Max. Kyle started to rub over Max's nipples more firmly, stroking over the tightening nubs. Pleased with their erectness, he hummed thoughtfully before trailing his hands down to rest on Max’s hipbones. Alex noticed the uptick in Kyle’s breathing and dilation in his eyes as he moved one hand to cup Max’s cock. He rocked the heel of his hand gently before circling his thumb and first finger around the shaft and stroking. Max’s body started to respond to the attention, his cock plumping up in Kyle’s grip as he kept stroking over him smoothly.

“That’s it,” Kyle cooed encouragingly. Max shifted under him as much as he could, head pressed back against the gurney and staring resolutely towards the ceiling. His face was flushed and the red stain seemed to be moving down towards his chest the harder he got. Alex jumped when a hand came into his view suddenly. “Put some more lube on my fingers.”

Alex obeyed Kyle’s order and watched him push one slick finger into Max’s hole, making the alien jump in surprise. Expertly, Kyle crooked his finger and within a few searching thrusts was able to locate Max’s prostate. Alex glanced up to check Max’s cock and was surprised to find him almost painfully engorged. Kyle followed his line of sight and smiled, turning to look at Alex triumphantly.

“Told you man, nothing to it. Hand me the suction canister and we’ll get him hooked up and pumping.” Alex shuddered at the excitement in Kyle’s voice, the eagerness, but he did was he was asked. As soon as the canister was lowered over Max’s cock, cool plastic resting against his belly, Kyle flipped a switch to began low suction. Max’s cock jerked in response to the tight pressure build and release of the machine, and Alex heard a low groan escape from behind his gag. Kyle had managed to work two fingers into his hole while Alex had watched the machine begin its work and was thrusting them in time with the machine. A glance further down and Alex could see the solid outline of Kyle’s own cock straining against his scrub pants.

“Uh, I’m going to go get started on one of the other captives,” Alex spoke up, feeling awkward at continuing to stand by the scene in front of him. Kyle gave him a friendly smile, fingers and wrist still working away.

“Sure, go do Michael. Noah, from what I understand, is a tougher case and I’d like to commit my full attention to him. After this, we can go do lunch if you want?” Kyle offered easily. Alex nodded and made a non-committal sound before turning and quickly exiting the room. He wasn’t fast enough to not hear Kyle murmuring softly to Max before he left. “You’re doing so good, Max. Look at these balls, man. You’re going to give up a big load for us today, huh?”

Alex wished he could bleach his brain.

He quickly closed the door behind him and moved towards the room he knew Michael to be in. He’d seen Michael around the compound. He was hard to miss with his curls, sharp smile, and sad eyes. Alex had tried to ignore him, but he found himself more and more aware of him each time they crossed paths. When he entered the exam room to find him naked and conscious, strapped and gagged the same as Max on the gurney, he flushed hot with a mix of embarrassment and want. He shut the door quietly behind him.

“Hey Michael,” Alex greeted him quietly. Michael’s eyes roved up and down his body, undressing him, challenging him despite his position. Feeling exposed, Alex moved towards the gurney slowly. The closer he got, the more of Michael’s body he could see. His cock was nestled serenely against his balls, a short, dark thatch of hair surrounding his groin and leading up his stomach and over his chest. Alex wanted to run his fingers through the hair, tangle himself in it, bury his face against it… but he knew that was inappropriate. No matter how attractive he found him, the alien was not in any position to consent to anything, and Alex knew it. He was still tempted, however.

To try to hide the awkwardness he was feeling, Alex busied himself with positioning the cart next to the gurney. He gloved up and reached for the lube, immediately dropping it when Michael cleared his throat next to him. The bottle clattered loudly on the metal cart, knocking the milking canister onto the ground. Alex fumbled to try to catch it before it rolled too far away. A knock sounded at the door and one of the guard’s voices came through.

“You okay, sir?”

“I’m fine!” Alex called back, face flaming in embarrassment. He looked at Michael who gave him a smug and superior grin around the obstruction in his mouth. Alex set the canister back on the table and bent over Michael to hiss at him. “Don’t be a dick!”

Michael gave him a raised eyebrow in response as if to say ‘who, me?’

“Yes, you,” Alex snapped. He moved back over to the table and picked up the lube again. Again, Michael pointedly cleared his throat. Alex abruptly turned to look at him, eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What?!”

Michael just looked at him for a moment, waiting for him to catch up. With a huff, Alex moved to block the view of the camera and loosened the gag enough to slide it out of Michael’s mouth. He watched Michael moved his jaw around and swallow convulsively a few times, resisting the urge to get him some water, while he waited for Michael to speak.

“What do you want, Michael?” Alex asked, trying to put steel into his voice to cow Michael’s nonchalant, almost playful attitude.

“I was going to say, you could at least buy me dinner before you start sticking probes into me,” Michael replied, his voice rough but steady. Alex stared at him incredulously.

“Are you trying to flirt with me?” he asked, unable to stop himself. Shock was an adequate description for how he was feeling about this turn of events.

“No. I am flirting with you, private,” Michael replied, giving Alex another once over before continuing. “How am I doing?”

“This is the least sexy situation I could possibly imagine being flirted with in,” Alex answered flatly.

“Well, you refuse to come visit me in my cell, so this is what I’ve got to work with. Besides, you’re about to have to get me hard enough to spurt for science. Maybe you should work on your bedside manner.” Alex stared down at Michael on the table. His eyes moved down to his exposed cock, still flaccid, and then over to the milking machine on the table. His ears felt warm and he was sure he was blushing.

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem. After all, I could always just inject you with Tri-Fix if you don’t want to get hard naturally,” Alex countered, trying not to let how flustered he was feeling show through in his voice. Michael gave him a frankly filthy grin in response.

“With the right stimulation, I’ve never had a problem getting hard naturally. Besides, have you ever had one of those tubes on your dick before?” Michael whistled low in apparent appreciation. “Science is wonderful. I’m all for science.”

“No, I’ve never--” Alex started, affronted at the mere idea that he would use government property for his own pleasure that way.

“Maybe you should climb up here and give it a try….” Michael suggested in a conspiratorial tone.

“There’s no way. There are cameras in here,” Alex protested, wondering why he wasn’t shoving the gag back in Michael’s mouth and getting on with the sample collection.

“I can fix that, ya know. These drugs they have us on dull my powers quite a bit, but I’m still pretty good at shorting out electronics when I need to,” Michael countered. He rushed on as Alex opened his mouth to respond. “You can keep me tied down. You can, uh… manually… collect your sample for the lab from me and take a spin on the suck tube at the same time.”

“I could never…” Alex protested weakly. He hated that he was even considering it. He didn’t know what Michael’s plan was, but he was pretty sure getting his dick sucked by a robot was not acceptable protocol under any circumstances.

“You can gag me again if you want to keep me quiet,” Michael said, voice almost a purr. Alex contemplated the idea, eyes straying from Michael to the milking canister and then surreptitiously up towards where the cameras were. Curiosity was getting the best of him. Curiosity and hormones. This close he could smell the petrichor and salt scent of Michael’s skin and make out the green flecks hidden amongst the amber of his eyes.

“If you can take out the cameras…” Alex started, but before he could finish he heard a faint cry of dismay from the observation room. Panicking, Alex shoved the gag back into Michael’s mouth and hoped to God it hadn’t been visibly out on the video. A second later, one of the monitor techs came into the room looking thunderous.

“Everything okay?” Alex asked the tech who had grabbed a chair and angrily shoved it into a corner. He started to climb up onto the seat, his eyes trained on the small dome on the ceiling that held the camera.

“This fucking piece of shit. Always shorts out on me. Goddamnit,” he cursed, removing the protective dome to look at the wiring beneath. He cursed again and hopped down, coming over to stand in front of Alex. “I’m going to have to replace the whole thing. Something major burned up. Do you want to postpone this procedure or--”

“No!” Alex cut in, his voice sharply cutting off the tech. The tech gave him a wide-eyed look. “I just… I’m not going to have time later. Look, he’s secured down. There are guards outside the door. I’ll be fine. He’s not going to cause me any trouble, will you?”

Alex directed the last question at Guerin who looked between him and the tech and lolled his head as if he were still slightly dopey. The tech squinted at him, but seemed to take the act at face value.

“Fine. Just give me a heads-up when you’re done so I can get in here. And don’t fucking undo any of those straps, got it? They’re there for your protection!” Alex gave him a grave nod and the tech turned and strode out of the room. As soon as the door snicked shut behind him, Alex turned and stared wide-eyed at an obviously unrepentant Michael. Alex removed his gag again, bending close to his ear before speaking.

"If you tell anyone about this, I will have you thrown into solitary for a week," Alex threatened in a low voice. It felt empty because he knew if Michael told anyone, his father would find him and put him in a hole in the ground. There was something about Michael's offer though… a feeling between them that made Alex sure the risk would pay out.

"I won't tell," Michael replied quietly. There was a sadness in his voice that pierced Alex's heart and he moved to be able to see Michael's eyes. They stared at each other for a long moment, each searching for something needed but fragile and better left silent between them. Alex ended their silent back and forth by bending down and pressing their lips together. It was sweet and chaste, a seal for their understanding, and when he pulled back he felt like their bargain was solidly struck. Quietly, Alex moved the extra chair from the corner under the broken camera and wedged it under the doorknob. When he turned back to face Michael, he immediately began to unbutton his shirt enough to pull it and his undershirt off over his head. He leaned against the table to tackle his boots, pants, and prosthesis. With an embarrassing lack of grace, Alex proceeded to climb onto the gurney and straddle Michael's thighs.

Michael's eyes were wide and darkened with lust as they scanned over Alex’s naked body. He looked hungry in a way Alex was all too familiar with. Alex noted to his smug relief that Michael’s cock had gotten half hard at his striptease and was growing firmer beneath him. Without a word, Alex reached over and grabbed the lube bottle, squeezing some into his palm before slicking Michael's cock with it. The friction made Michael groan quietly, his eyes fluttering shut as Alex stroked him with a firm hand and brought him to full hardness. Alex’s own cock was beginning to throb and ache with neglect, but he didn't want to touch himself too soon. The risk of the situation was turning him on almost as much as Michael beneath him, his hips flexing into Alex’s grip in aborted thrusts.

Alex let go of Michael and lifted onto his knees. Keeping eye contact with Michael, he took his still slick hand and reached behind himself to push two fingers into his hole. It was almost too much too soon, but Alex liked the burn and needed this part to go quick. He didn’t realize his eyes had slipped shut, unable to concentrate on anything but the stretch and pressure of his digits as he rocked his hips back and twisted his fingers to make the stretch go faster.

"Oh shit," Michael breathes out beneath him. Alex opened his eyes and pinned Michael with a hard stare before swooping down to kiss him again. This kiss wasn't sweet. It wasn't chaste or simple. Alex licked at the seam of Michael's mouth once and barely gaves the other man time to accept him before he was pushing his way in. If Michael was hungry, Alex was fucking starving. Not that he’d gotten a taste, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop.

Michael moaned into their kisses, his body shifting restlessly, claiming as much movement as he could against the restraints.

"Shhhh," Alex warned, breaking their kiss. He shuffled forward enough to be able to reach behind himself and grasp Michael's cock. Goosebumps broke out over his skin as he pressed the blunt tip to his wet hole. Biting his lip, Alex forced his body to relax and accept Michael's generous girth. It was almost too much and after a few slow drags where he only managed to shove a few inches at a time into himself, Alex pulled off and added more lube. The next time he pushed down, it was like his body just accepted Michael and made room accordingly. Both he and Michael let out harsh, gutted breathes when Alex managed to fully sheath Michael inside him.

"Fucking christ," Alex groaned, trying to stay quiet but already feeling his body scream for him to start fucking himself stupid on the perfect cock stuffed in him. Beneath him, eyes squeezed shut, Michael nodded and Alex watched as his hands and fingers flexed in an echo of Alex's own need to move. Slowly, Alex began to rock his hips and get his first exquisite taste of the pull and push of Michael's cock lighting up his insides. Wrapping a hand around his cock, Alex noted how wet and messy his shaft was from the leaking precum drooling out of the tip. He used that wetness to ease the way as he stroked himself lightly in time with the undulations of his hips.

"Please," Michael gasped out beneath him. "Oh fuck, please."

Alex knew what he wanted, wanted it himself, but also knew they made a plan. Carefully, he reached over to the instrument table and picked up the plastic cylinder end of the milking machine. Inside it was a PVC sleeve that molded itself around the recipient's penis once the suction was started. Then, according to the dials on the machine, the sleeve would go taut and relax with a rhythmic click and hiss, effectually sucking off the wearer until he blew his load and the sample collection sensor went off. The load would then be scraped from the inside of the sleeve and collected into a tube to be given to the lab. Alex knew all of that, had the technical knowledge down pat in his brain, but was unprepared for the foreign feeling of sliding his own cock into the smooth, cool fabric of the milker cylinder. With a barely trembling hand, he pressed the ‘on’ switch and waited for the first pull.

He didn't know what he’d been led to expect, but it wasn't the vice-like, fluid pressure that made his hips hitch forward instinctively to get more of that tight clutching feeling. Alex felt a moan get dragged past his lips, echoed by Michael as he began to fuck forward against the milker and then back onto Michael's cock.

"Oh god," Alex moaned brokenly, curling forward over the cylinder in helpless abandon. The angle pressed Michael's cock hard against his prostate, and Alex indulged himself in a few shallow thrusts that brushed the head of Michael's cock against that spot over and over. His body felt like it was getting expertly rung out, and he now understood why there wasn't more of a revolt against the collection process by the alien captives. They were getting an expert blow job by a robot on the government's dime.

When Alex could drag his eyes open, he looked down and saw his own helpless pleasure echoed on Michael's face. His lips were parted in an "oh" of surprise, eyebrows drawn together like he wasn't sure if he was in pain or in ecstasy, and sweat beaded his hairline and neck. He looked like a ravaged Greek demigod laid bare at Alex's whim. The sight made Alex’s body shudder with a wave of lust for the alien beneath him. He didn’t know if it was because he was alien or because Alex was in the midst of intense pleasure, but he wanted to never leave in that instant.

"Fuck, look at you," Alex couldn't help saying. He pushed back, arching and reaching until he could brace his hands on Michael's legs to grind back down in his prick. The cylinder jut from his groin obscenely between them, position change not effecting its mechanical precision. Michael opened his eyes and stared up at Alex, a look if wonder on his face.

"I wanna touch you," he said, voice quiet enough to almost get lost under the hum of the machine. Alex smirked down at him, feeling fuck drunk and bold at his naked worship.

"Where do you wanna touch me? Tell me," Alex demanded, voice breathy.

"I want to touch your neck. I want to twist my hands in your hair and put you where I want you," Michael said, voice serious like he was in a confessional booth telling his sins. Alex hummed in response, sitting up straight and moving his hands up his chest to his neck and then into his hair.

"Like this?" Alex asked, smiling at the covetous, feral look on Michael's face as Alex acted out his words. He let his eyes slip shut so he could imagine that instead of restrained, Michael was simply dictating his desires to him.

"Yeah. Like that," he agreed. His eyes trailed lower and he began talking again. "I want to rake my nails down your chest. I want to pinch and suck your nipples, abuse your tits until you're begging for me to stop."

Alex let his hands fall from his hair down to his chest. He raked his fingers down the front of his pecs and stomach, not stopping until he was almost at his pubes. He slid his fingers back up to his nipples and plucked at them with savage, twisting, pinching fingers. The zings of pain shot down to his groin, where his balls were drawing up tight to his body, the finish line in sight for him. The rhythm of the machine picked up and Alex opened his eyes in time to see Michael looking intently at the knots that controlled speed and intensity.

"Where else?" Alex gasped, the increased setting of the machine making him tip forward to brace himself with his hands on Michael’s chest, so he could fuck himself harder onto Michael's cock in time. He could see in Michael's face he was getting close too, trying to hold out until Alex busted.

"After I come in your ass, I want you to sit on my face and let me eat you out. I want to taste you and me on my tongue. I wanna watch you squirm, oversensitive and mewling as I tongue fuck you into a second orgasm," Michael managed to say through a gasping, pained groan. His hips were flexing minutely under Alex, trying impotently to reciprocate the harsh pounding he was getting as Alex rode him.

"Fuck!" Alex almost yelled, his body starting to seize at the thought, thrusts going erratic as he rode through his orgasm on with his body on automatic pilot. A beeping sensor on the machine went off and the machine automatically shut itself off. Gingerly, he broke the suction around the base of his cock and slid the cylinder from his body. Feeling wrecked and still impossible full of cock, Alex looked down at Michael who was breathing hard and looking pained at the full stop of their activities. Alex gave him an evil smile when their eyes met.

"Your turn, cowboy," he said. Michael looked at him in momentarily confusion until Alex pulled off his cock with groan. He felt so empty without Michael inside him. He felt like his ass was gaping where his legs were still spread on either side of Michael’s hips. He twisted around and slid the used cylinder over Michael's hard-as-nails prick. Machine in place, Alex reached over and flipped on the machine again, overriding the collection sensor and making sure to turn up the speed to bring Michael off swiftly. He turned back to Michael's face, watching him go from shock to stricken within seconds. Alex bent low, resting some of his body weight on top of Michael’s chest, and mouthing at his jaw and neck. He felt the vibrations of whimpers and quiet moans against his cheek as he nibbled at Michael's ear.

"Once you cum in the cylinder, I'm going to make sure you get a taste of us before I dump the sample due to compromise by a foreign body. That means we'll have to do this again tomorrow. And tomorrow? I'm going to fuck your throat while the machine gets a clean sample from you," Alex whispered into his ear. Michael made an unmistakable noise of release, a tight, gasping sob as his cock was milked dry. The selection alarm chimed again and Alex turned off the machine with an easy flick of his wrist.

Good to his word, Alex twisted and broke the suction of the cylinder. Because of the double load, when he moved it off Michael's cock, he could see their combined spunk coating Michael's length in a pearlescent sheen. Inspired, Alex bent down and dragged his tongue down the length of Michael's softening cock. He turned back to Michael, dumping the cylinder haphazardly onto the instrument cart before sealing his lips over Michael's. Michael opened his mouth hungrily, tongue tangling against Alex's and greedily stealing all traces of their combined flavor for himself. When they broke apart, Alex smiled down at Michael for a moment, giving him one last kiss, before moving off of him and the gurney.

He once again leaned against the side of the gurney and put himself back together. By the time he was completely re-outfitted in his fatigues, his mind was once again on business. He turned and pushed the gag back into Michael's mouth before he could say anything. Michael stared at him in confusion until Alex grabbed a hand towel and laid it over Michael's lap to cover his nudity. He gave Michael a sad smile before he went and removed the chair from in front of the door and stuck his head out into the corridor.

"Captive is ready for transport back to the pen," he called to the guards on duty. He backed away when they came back in the room and unlocked the wheels of Michael's gurney. Michael stared at him in something like betrayal as he was wheeled away. After he was gone, Alex washed out the cylinders sleeve and wrote a note on Michael's chart to schedule him for a second collection the following day.

Alex wasn't sure how he felt about what had just happened. Now, in the quiet of the empty collection room, he wondered if it had been an elaborate dream. He wondered if he'd wake up soon in his own bed, tired and disoriented and dreading another day of work at Caulfield. He also couldn't deny that what had just happened definitely wasn't a dream if the ache in his muscles and the slick feeling between his ass cheeks were to be trusted. He felt guilty for judging Kyle’s lasciviousness when he couldn’t stop himself from riding his captive like a rodeo bull. Was he as bad as the other guards thought, or was it just Michael? Alex couldn’t imagine doing anything that had just happened to another captive or man that he knew.

One thing was for certain, he was already in too deep to want to stop. He hadn’t come that hard since he’d learned where his prostate was. He just didn’t know how he was going to schedule in more time for him and Michael to see each other after tomorrow. With a sigh, he left the room and went back to his office to think through his actions. A flask of bourbon waited in his desk drawer to help him find the answers.

[isolavirtuosa]

Unlikely Office Romances 13-14

[fanfiction] Gundam Wing, 1x2x1

Basically Duo is a jerk and Heero is an awkward nerd.

Previous Parts

13-14 under the cut

- 13 -

             I’d never been so happy to see Wufei.

           “Maxwell, what have I told you about overt displays of affection?!”

           “I don’t know, I don’t listen to anything you say,” I said, squeezing him tighter right there in front of the entire spaceport.

           He patted my back, which was his equivalent of returning my hug.  “Let’s go,” he said gruffly.

           “Where to, boss-man?”

           “The office.”

           “Are you going to throw me a welcome home party?!”

           “No, we have work to do.”

           “I’ve been in a detainment center for a month, don’t I get a day off?”

           “That was your time off.  I’ll be docking you one month’s worth of vacation days.”

           I gaped at him.

           Wufei smirked.

           “Did you just… make a… joke…?”

           He shrugged and led the way to his car.

           Everyone was waiting in the office.  There was even a cake.  And good coffee.

           “You did plan a party for me!” I said, giving Wufei another hug.

           “I had nothing to do with this!” he protested indignantly.

           Then I saw Heero, and it felt like the air went out of the room.

           He was way at the back of the crowd, head ducked down and eyes staring at the ground.  They flicked up to meet mine.

           I stared at him.

           He looked away.

           “Are you salivating over this coffee?” Andrea asked, grinning as she held up a cup to me.

           I half-smiled, still looking at Heero.  I wanted to go right up to him and…

           And what?

           “I’m so glad you’re back,” Hilde said, hugging me.

           I blinked, directing myself back towards the woman who had found us and saved our asses.  “Thanks to you,” I said, giving her a sloppy smooch on the cheek.

           “Great, now can we get back to work?” Wufei complained. “Aaron Easton is still out there, and he’s got two goddamn gundams.”

           “And no one to pilot them,” I said, waving off his worries.  My feet were moving me towards Heero.  “Hey.”

           Heero looked up, confused, like he didn’t think I was talking to him.

           “Hey,” I repeated, looking into his eyes.

           He shifted, pushing his glasses up his nose. “You’re looking… well…”

           “Can’t say the same for you,” I said, touching his bandaged hand before it could fall back to his side.

           Heero’s whole body tensed up and he stood motionless.

           I quickly withdrew my hand.

           He shifted uncomfortably.

           “Do you always have to be so damn awkward around me?” I muttered.

           That seemed to make it worse.

           “I have to g-go,” he stuttered, speeding away with a limp.  He disappeared out the main door.

           “What’s up with you and the sped?” Andrea asked with a snort.

           “Fuck off,” I snarled, elbowing past her.

           Hilde said something nasty to Andrea that I couldn’t quite hear.

           “Duo, let’s chat,” Sally said, linking arms with me and pulling me to her office.

           I sat down across from her desk while she took her seat.

           “I’m so glad that you’re here and in once piece,” she said.  “I’m sorry we couldn’t get you out sooner.”

           “I did kind of commit some crimes,” I said, trying to smile.

           “You got us funded with your crimes, though, so yay for that,” Sally said.

           I smiled a little more genuinely.

           “I know you’ve just come back from what was likely an unpleasant experience, so maybe you’re a little on edge.  But are you having issues with Agent Schultz?”

           I almost said no, then nodded.  “Yeah.”

           “What’s up?”

           “I’m tired of these damn outsiders in our business.”

           “I thought you two were working well together.”

           “Look, Dan and Andrea are fine and all, but they’re kids.  They didn’t fight in the war.  They don’t know shit about shit, so maybe they should keep their mouths shut.”

           “We chose them because they were at the top of the ESUNBI Academy’s graduating class and tested well on their personality assessments.  The Preventers can’t keep going if it’s only us.”

           “I know that.  Look, I thought I trusted Andrea, but she keeps saying this shit about Quatre and… Heero, and it pisses me off.  She owes her goddamn life to them.”

           “It seems to me like most of the agents talk shit about our lab techs,” Sally said, giving me a long look.

           “Yeah, okay, yes,” I said.  “But that’s different.”

           “Is it?” she asked.

           “Yes, because I fought side-by-side with them, and I care about them.”

           “You do seem to care about one of them in particular,” she said, giving me a meaningful look.

           “I… wait… what?”

           “Just something I’ve been observing,” she said. Her smile was getting malicious. “Hey, remember when you told everyone about me and Wufei?”

           “Um, that was… and it… yes?”

      ��    She watched me silently, making me squirm in my seat.

           “I’m… sorry?” I offered.

           Sally smiled her real smile.  “Nah, it’s fine.”

           “Good?”

           “I’m not gonna be putting Heero in the field for a while.”

           “He’ll hate that.”

           “Yeah.  But I’m afraid Easton might come for you two again.  Or for one of the others.”

           “He’d be better off grooming his own pilot.”

           “Who knows what a nutcase like that is going to do,” Sally said with a sigh.  “Anyway, I’d like it if you kept an eye on Heero.  Whatever is going on between you two, please fix it.”

           “There’s nothing going on…” I tried to protest.

           Sally ignored me.  “This case has brought up a lot things for him.  He won’t really talk to anyone, but maybe since you were there? You two seem to have such a special connection and all.”

           “Why are you saying these crazy things to me?”

           “Because you kept hounding me the whole time you were locked up about how Heero was.”

           “He got shot because of me!”

           “Oh, so it was just comradely concern?”

           “Yes!”

           “And your issues with Schultz?”

           “She says shit about Quatre, too!”

           “I’m pretty sure the person who talks the most shit about Quatre and Heero is you.  Are you really surprised that everyone else follows you?”

           “Why are you making me feel like the lowest scum on the colony?” I asked, sticking out my bottom lip in a pout.  I tried to over-exaggerate it to hide how very close to home she was hitting.

           “Go talk to Yuy.”

           I looked down.  “He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

           “He was harassing me about you just as much as you were harassing me about him.  I don’t know how I’ve ended up in the middle of this.”

           “This isn’t anything,” I protested.

           “Fine.  Whatever. I don’t care.  But go talk to Heero anyway, and then get your ass back up here because we have work to do.”

           I gave her a half-assed salute and went down to the lab.

           Quatre was still upstairs, but Mariemaia and Heero were already back at work, analyzing something or other with a microscope.

           “Hey again,” I said, using my ID badge to enter the platform.

           Mariemaia frowned at me.  “What do you want?”

           “Po said that I have to talk to Heero.”

           “Oh, so you’re being forced to be here?” she asked, her tone unfriendly.

           “Yes,” I said.  I looked at Heero, who was still bent over the microscope and acting indifferent to our conversation.  I wanted… something.  “Can you give us a minute?”

           Mariemaia glanced at Heero.

           He looked up at her, giving a brief nod.

           “Try not being an asshole for five seconds,” she snarled at me as she went back into the morgue.  I didn’t really know why she would choose that particular location to get away.

           “Did I do something to her?” I asked.

           The door to the morgue slammed shut.

           “She’s just protective,” Heero said, limping to a chair and sitting down.

           “I didn’t know that the great Heero Yuy needed protecting,” I said, trying to make a joke.

           He looked even smaller than usual, the walking cast swallowing up his foot and the huge bandage overtaking his hand.  I stood over him and felt tall for the first time.  He was about three inches shorter than me, but I always somehow felt like I was looking up to him.  He just had that kind of presence, even when he was being awkward.

           He just looked vulnerable now.  “What did you come down here for?”

           “I told you, Po said-”

           “What did you come down here for?”

           I sighed.  “Look.  I’ve been worried sick about you.”

           “You feel guilty.”

           “Yes, Heero, I feel fucking guilty,” I said, staring at his foot.  “Sally said that there was nerve damage to your hand-”

           “It’s fine.”

           “It’s not fine.  If I hadn’t disabled the detonator-”

           “I told you to do it.”

           “Okay, but if I hadn’t-”

           “You did.”

           I took a breath.  “I can’t believe he fucking shot you.”

           “I’m glad he didn’t hurt you.”

           It took me a moment to realize that he was being genuine.  He seemed less awkward, or maybe I was just getting used to it.

           “That month in the detainment center was nothing compared to an OZ prison,” I said, poking his side.

           He made a face, moving to stop me.

           I pushed his shirt up.

           Heero looked like a deer in headlights.  Well, his version of it anyway, since his expression remained neutral.  But I could read the slight widening of his eyes and the stiffness in his posture.

           I touched the wound there.  It was already starting to scar over.

           “Stop.”

           I pulled my hand away.

           Heero fussed his shirt back into place and pulled his lab coat closed over it.

           I caught his face in my hands.

           “Don-” he tried to protest, but I was already kissing him.

           It wasn’t like I’d planned on doing it.  In fact, I didn’t think I’d even wanted to do it. I had looked at him and was just compelled to.

           Heero was completely tense, and I could feel him staring at me, even with my eyes closed.

           I held his face firmly, but I made the kiss gentle.  Maybe it was an apology of sorts.  I didn’t really understand, either, but I knew that I wanted it.  “Kiss me,” I mumbled into his lips.

           Heero swallowed.  I didn’t think he would, but then his lips moved almost imperceptibly against mine.

           I wanted to consume him.

           Heero’s good hand caught on the collar of my uniform jacket, pulling me in or pushing me away, I wasn’t quite sure which.

           My knee had somehow settled on the chair between his legs, and I was bending over him ravaging his mouth with my tongue.  I had never wanted to kiss someone so thoroughly in my entire life.  I just wanted and wanted and wanted and then Heero shoved me away and I fell on my ass.

           “Do you even like me?” he asked, his voice as monotonous as ever despite the pain visible in his eyes.

           “What?”

           “Do you even like me?” he repeated.  “What is this to you?  A game?”

           “I… what?  Of course I like you, psycho.  And… I don’t know.  I kissed you because I wanted to.  So why are you shoving me on the floor?”

           Heero readjusted his glasses.  “Y-you don’t like me the way I like you.”

           “What are we, middle schoolers?” I asked, standing up.  “You wanted it, I wanted it, what’s the problem?”

           He stood up, stumbling a little and turning his back to me.

           “Heero.”

           “You can’t just do whatever you want.”

           “I don’t see what the big deal is.”

           “That’s exactly it.  It is a big deal.”

           “Okay, all right.  Yeah.  Maybe a little.”

           He turned around and glared at me.

           It weirdly lifted my spirits.

           “Look, all I know is that when you got shot, my heart stopped.  I know you’re indestructible and all, but… if something happened to you…”

           Heero’s expression softened.  He looked almost hopeful.

           “Can’t we just see where this goes?” I asked, taking a step closer.

           “Can we?” Heero asked, and he seemed to be genuinely asking.

           “Yeah,” I said, nodding.  “We can.”

           I had no idea what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that I wanted it, and I hadn’t wanted anything in a long time.

 - 14 -

             I felt stupid.

           Which was ridiculous because I had a PhD and was a certified genius.

           But here I was, kissing Duo Maxwell in my lab. I knew he was only doing it because he was confusing pity with some kind of affection.

           It felt real, though.

           I’d somehow ended up sitting on my desk, which evened our heights out.

           Duo was pressed close, hands on the move, ghosting up my arms and down my spine.

           When I’d finally decided that it wasn’t some fluke and that we were actually doing this, I let my fingers slide into the loose braid at Duo’s nape, curling in tight.  I’d always thought that his hair was beautifully impractical.

           Duo was very good at this.

           I was forgetting myself, forgetting that we shouldn’t be doing this, forgetting that we were at work, and that my little sister was in the next room.

           “Holy crap.”

           Duo and I jerked away from one another.

           Mariemaia gaped at us.

           “Hey, Mari,” Duo said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Nice to see you again…”

           ���I don’t know if I should be applauding this or screaming at you both for being idiots.”

           “Well, I really have to be getting back to work,” Duo said, edging towards the door.

           Mari’s look turned deadly.

           Duo’s eyes flicked nervously from her to me.

           I stared back blankly.

           “Come over,” Duo said.  “Tonight.”

           I felt my brow wrinkling in confusion.

           “I’ll text you.”

           And then he was gone.

           Mari gaped at me.

           I did my approximation of gaping, which was my mouth slightly open and my eyes minutely widened.

           “How did this happen?!” she demanded.

           “I… have no idea,” I said.

           “Are you happy?!”

           I shook my head.  “I don’t know.”

           Mari came over to me, her limp mirroring my own. “This is what you wanted,” she said, pushing a smile into her eyes.

           “Is it?”

           “Yeah, ya dolt,” she said, smacking me in the arm. “Oh my god, we need to get you ready for your date!”

           “It’s not a date…”

           “I didn’t bring any product with me, so we’ll have to stop by the store.”

           “Mari, we have work to do.”

           “Oh, that reminds me,” she said.  “Can you help me with this autopsy?  I have two possible causes of death.”

           I nodded, glad for a return to normalcy.

           Our working day ended at five, though I usually stayed late if I was onto something interesting.  The whole staff was busier now, had been much busier since we’d come back from earth.

           It would be easy to find an excuse to stay, but my phone was buzzing, and there was Duo’s address and ‘6:00’ with a question mark.

           ‘Fine,’ I typed back.

           Mari peered around my shoulder.  “You okay?” she asked.

           “What is your question in regards to?”

           “A lot of things,” she said, straightening up.

           I looked up at her.  “I thought you’d be more excited.”

           “I thought you would be,” she countered.

           “I don’t know how to feel,” was the most honest assessment I could give.

           “What’re you two talking about?” Quatre chirped, coming through the door.

           We both went silent.

           “You’re hiding something from me?!”

           “We’ll discuss it tomorrow,” I said brusquely.

           Mariemaia looked to Quatre and shrugged before following me out the door.

           “You’re not even going to work overtime?!” he called out after me.

           Mari dragged me to the store to buy hair gel, changed her mind, and dragged me to the barbershop.

           “Make it look better,” she demanded desperately of the barber.

           He looked at me uncertainly.

           I shrugged.  My eyes probably looked murderous, but it wasn’t intentional.

           “Cut these damn bangs so we can actually see his eyes,” Mari instructed.  “And shape up the back.  And the front.  Like I said, just make it look better.”

           The man did what he could.

           Mari seemed pleased with the results.  “You are so handsome.”

           I stared at her.

           “You are,” she said, smiling.  “Even when you have that sourpuss on your face.”

           We made quite the pair, limping along to the train.

           “I don’t see why you don’t get your hair cut more often,” she commented.

           “When I cut my hair myself, you complain about that, too.”

           “Yeah, I’m saying you should go to a professional.”

           “My hair grows too fast.  I’d have to go every month.”

           “So get your hair cut every month.”

           “Tch.”

           “Did you just ‘tch’ at me?” she asked with a laugh.

           I watched as she got off at her stop, a pit starting to form in my stomach.

           There was no intellectual reason to be nervous.

           Duo’s apartment was easy enough to find.  I knocked on the door precisely at six.

           “Why am I not surprised that you’re right on time?” Duo said, opening the door with a rueful smile.  He still had his uniform on, and started undoing his tie as he walked into the apartment.  He paused, turning back to look at me standing in the doorway.  “Shit, you cut your hair?”

           I shrugged, easing the door shut behind me.

           “I forget how good-looking you are sometimes.”

           I didn’t know how to take that.

           “You want a drink?” he asked, tossing his tie over the back of a chair.

           “What are we doing here?” I asked.

           “Well, I live here,” he said, smiling easily. “And you’re here, being you.”

           “I don’t know what that means.”

           “Yeah, a drink would be a good idea,” Duo said, shaking his head and moving to the kitchen.  He pulled out two beers, holding one up and waving it at me before putting it on the counter.  He popped the tab on his own and took a long drink.  “Stop acting like a scared rabbit and have a drink.”

           I frowned at that, even if it had a ring of truth to it.  Why couldn’t this just go smoothly?  I stepped into the kitchen and took the beer, taking a tentative drink.

           Then there was silence.

           I looked at Duo.

           He looked at me.

           We had absolutely nothing in common and nothing to talk about.

           What a terrible idea this was.

           Duo abruptly closed the space between us, putting his drink down and taking hold of my injured left hand.  “Are you going to be able to use it again?”

           “Why are you touching my hand?” I asked, scrunching up my brow.

           “Answer my question.”

           “You’re making me nervous.”

           He let go of my hand abruptly.  “I don’t understand you.”

           I looked away and cradled my hand to my chest. It still ached.  “I have to get another surgery…”

           “Oh,” he said quietly.  “When?”

           “Next month.”

           “What about your foot?”

           “It’s healing.”

           “Did you wanna sit down?”

           “I’m fine.”

           “Let’s sit down.  It’s been a long day.”

           I looked at him, giving him an eye roll.

           His grin lit up his face.  “C’mon, Cripple.”

           “I’m nowhere near being a cripple,” I informed him, watching as he picked up both of our beers and walked over to the living room.

           We sat on the couch.

           I went back to being nervous.

           “Man, I just got back and Po is already cracking the whip,” Duo said, handing me my drink.  “Seems like everyone’s been working overtime since our little kidnapping.”

           “We’ve been trying to track down Easton and the gundams, dealing with the fallout over the mobile suit factory, and… getting you back.”

           “Well I appreciate the last bit.  Being a suspected terrorist in an earth detainment center is just a barrel of laughs and all, but I’m happy to be home.”

           I half-smiled.

           “You have the worst smile,” Duo said, laughing.

           My face went blank.

           Duo was still smiling.  He grazed a finger along my cheek, pausing at my lips.

           “Duo…”

           “You have such nice cheekbones,” he said. “Did you cut your hair for tonight?”

           “Mari made me,” I mumbled, trying not to get lost in his eyes.  Duo was the good-looking one, everyone thought so.  He had such big blue eyes, and his lashes were long and dark.  Then there was all that improbable hair.  It wasn’t what attracted me to him, but he was certainly nice to look at.  “I don’t even know what tonight is,” I finally said, looking away.

           “I don’t know either,” Duo said, running his finger along my bottom lip.

           My lips parted involuntarily.

           We were kissing again, and I wasn’t sure why.

           This time we weren’t in the safety of the lab. Mariemaia wasn’t in the next room over, ready to interrupt at a moment’s notice.  This was Duo’s apartment.  This was Duo’s couch.  This was Duo’s hand, pushing my shirt up and trying to take it off.

           I froze.

           He rested his forehead against mine, looking into my eyes.  “What?”

           “Did you want me to come here to have sex?”

           “It wasn’t really a concrete plan, but now that you’re here…”

           I couldn’t even get a handle on Duo wanting to kiss me, and now he wanted to have sex?  “I should go.”

           Duo flopped against the back of the couch. “Seriously?”

           “I don’t need a pity fuck,” I said coldly.

           He started sputtering.  “That time in the hotel… I was drunk, Heero, come on.  I said a lot of stupid shit.”

           “I don’t know why I even came here,” I said, standing up.

           Duo caught my wrist.  “Don’t go.  Really. I’ll keep my hands to myself. Just stay.”

           “Why?”

           “Because I just got home, and I’m exhausted, and all I want is to be with you.”

           “I don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head.

           “You keep saying that.”

           “I don’t.”

           “What is there to understand?  I just… like being around you, okay?”

           “Since when?”

           “Since now.”

           I stared at him.

           He let go of my wrist, giving me a pout with big puppy-like eyes.

           “You’re childish,” I informed him, sitting back down against my better judgement.

           “Didn’t have a childhood,” he said jovially.  He picked up his beer again and took a drink. “You hungry?  I could cook us something.  Or we could order takeout.”

           “You can cook?” I asked suspiciously.

           “Of course I can cook!  What kind of self-respecting person living on their own can’t cook?”

           So Duo cooked for us.

           “You’re not really drinking,” he said as he plated the food.

           “I don’t like beer.”

           “Of course you don’t,” he said, laughing. “Do you want some frou-frou girly drink?”

           “I don’t know how a drink can have gender.”

           He looked amused as he carried the food to the table.  “Seriously, what do you like?  I’ve got some whiskey, or if you want non-alcoholic I’ve got juice.  Oh, I’ve got a bottle of red that would go nice with the meat.”

           “I like wine.”

           “Yeah?”

           “Yes.”

           “Okay, then, wine it is,” Duo said, going back into the kitchen.

           The meal was pleasant.  We started falling into our old familiar banter.  The wine probably helped.

           I finally relaxed.

           “So then Quatre shot me in the head!” Duo concluded his story, laughing.

           “He does that.”

           “Man, I’m never volunteering for one of his experiments again,” he said, reaching over the table to refill my glass.  “You want dessert?”

           “Are you going to whip something up from scratch?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

           “Yes, if by whip up from scratch you mean open a package of Twinkies.”

           “Twinkies are not dessert.  They don’t even constitute as food.”

           “I take offense to that statement.”

           “I thought you were going to impress me with your culinary mastery.”

           “I thought I already did,” Duo said, gesturing towards our empty plates.  “I’m a good cook, right?  Yeah? Really good?”

           “Not bad.”

           “Not bad my ass.  Admit it, you’re a little impressed.”

           “I’m a little impressed.”

           Duo grinned.  “Heh.”

           We ended back at the couch, a terrible action movie playing in the background while we opened a second bottle of wine.

           Duo ate his Twinkies.

           The connection between us was starting to feel familiar.

           “You should try a bite,” Duo said, waving a Twinkie in front of my face.

           “Pass.”

           “It’s better than you think.”

           “Didn’t they stop making these Before Colony because they were so awful?”

           “No, obviously they started making them again After Colony because they’re so great.”

           “Disgusting.”

           “Delicious.”

           I turned away from him and took a sip of wine. When had the second bottle become empty? It took a lot to get me drunk, but I was definitely starting to feel tipsy.

           Duo rested his head on my shoulder.

           I looked down at him.

           “Hey, that’s actually a nice smile,” he said, smiling back.  Then he shoved a piece of Twinkie into my mouth.

           I glowered at him.

           He sat up, grinning.  “It’s already in your mouth, you might as well try it.”

           I caught him by the waist, sealing our lips together.  Then I tried to push the Twinkie into his mouth.

           Duo started laughing, which made it very easy to get the cake in.

           I gave him a last peck and pulled away.

           He was laughing so hard he started choking.

           “See, those things are deadly,” I said, patting his back.

           “Yeah, when you force them into someone’s mouth with your tongue!”

           “But forcing them in with fingers is fine?”

           “It’s more sanitary.”

           “Hn.”

           “Hn yourself,” Duo said, straddling my lap.

           I may have made a tactical error.

[thegracegatsby]

this post is all over the place but here’s a super long update if you care lmao 

So it’s officially been one month since i’ve been on this marketing internship in Prague which is basically working a full time marketing job without the pay (duh, Grace) lol I really thought I was going to be filing papers and going on coffee runs, but nope this is the real deal. I didn’t even get a day to fix my jetlag nor was I eased into the job. The day after I arrived I had 15 minutes to learn about all the projects everyone was working on, got acquainted with the office and the other interns, then started on all my tasks. To give you an idea of what I’ve been up to, my first week here I had to think of several marketing ideas for a local company and had to present them to the owner. The Stress and nerves had me on bed rest that weekend ngl lol. The owner loved the presentation, but I couldn’t help but be so hard on myself. I felt so underprepared I didn’t expect to be thrown into the field at full speed. I literally felt like the Mr. Krabs meme. I was shookington. I thought college and a regular part time job was hectic, but wow I was not prepared for job that required 110% of my time and mind. What I mean by that is I was/am technically working on four different projects and each of them need to be unique aka I can’t repeat ideas. I learned to trust myself and just trust that if I did my best…. it would just had to be enough. I can only learn from my mistakes and find a way to improve myself every day. Those “do one thing to be better than yesterday” quotes were always cute, but they have been extremely relevant this summer. That’s been such an important lesson and habit. Some other things I was up to is sometimes the company gets invited to special private events so so far I’ve attended two events. The first one being some networking event with a panel so different CEO’s discussed the future of tech & marketing and answered questions, then another event where the communications director of Manolo (shoe goals) spoke on the brand. Even got to meet her she was so sweet! Last week I got sent on my first official business trip to Poland to meet with different Korean companies at an expo! I had to basically see and negotiate potential products to market in the US and Latin America. Crazy. I loved every second of it. I’ve been meaning to write for a few weeks now so my thoughts are probably a little all over the place, but now is when I feel like I finally have the time and energy to sit down and catch up on a blog even if no one reads this lmaoo. It’s wild how a month and a half ago I left my job at the bank with a heavy heart and had my summer classes get cancelled/wasn’t able to register for any new one’s since they were all full. I was so close to doing nothing all summer except go job hunting again so this trip was such a blessing. It’s super challenging I’m not gonna lie. I feel like I’ve grown so much from being here. I’ve had to get out of my comfort zone in every single sense of the word. I’ve had to depend on myself mentally and emotionally in different ways than I’ve had to back home. I know this sounds super dramatic lol, but honestly this is the first time I’ve been away from my home, family, friends, city, for more than two weeks. Taking such a huge step without my family around has been difficult. It’s how I imagine it would have been like if I moved away for college. I’m going through “real life with training wheels” because I’m staying with family here so I’m not 100% on my own, but that’s the farthest thing from perfect. Like.. my extended family is going through some hell shit and I feel like I’m in the middle of it so I can’t escape it. I guess that’s where my desperate homesickness comes from. I was SO ready to go home I even asked if I could book a flight after TWO weeks of being here. That’s how desperate I was to go back home. I never talk about my personal life, but I will say that my actual home life, thankfully, is healthy. No relationship/family is perfect don’t get it twisted, but my parents learned from the mistakes of their families/friends and tried very hard to raise my sibling and I in a peaceful home. Don’t take this as the “I’m the best because my parents don’t hate each other can’t relate sweetie (: just be happy and drink tea” way because that’s not what I’m saying at all lol. Sadly, toxic families are everywhere, but reading/hearing about a household that is going through a nasty divorce with unhealthy drama happening every single day is completely different than actually experiencing/witnessing it with my own two naked eye balls. Especially from my own relative. I know this makes me sound immature or naive or whatever, but I mean… I’ve never lived anywhere else so I never knew anything other than my own family dynamic ya know? My empathy for children and teenagers who have to go through what I’ve been seeing on a daily basis has grown so much. Again, this isn’t a show off way of me saying “my life is semi-perfect” (no one’s is) I’m literally saying the change has helped me understand and appreciate the importance of a healthy home so much which… isn’t a bad thing. I’d rather learn this now seeing it from afar than with regret later on in my life. I’m genuinely so heartbroken and empathetic for every single person going through this much toxicity especially my own cousin who will have to grow up with the issues her parents are making alone. The biggest takeaway is I know what the fuck NOT to tolerate in relationships. If I thought my tolerance was low, now it’s even lower I’m not putting up with any bullshit ever wow. Now none of this would matter if I only got to work then go home and mind my business, but nah it’s not like that. An argument happened? Guess who gets some insults and bad attitude. Me. Since why did my extended family think it’s okay to disrespect and insult me for everything??? Don’t even get me started on the side comments about my weight :)) All I do is try to stay hydrated and mind my business! lmaofdnsfds. I guess that’s where the mental and emotional challenge comes from. I’ve never been a super emotional person literally the last time I cried from emotion was the day of the musical in high school because I messed up on stage and was super embarrassed. That was literally 4 years ago in April. I’ve had like two mental breakdowns already not including the countless times I’ve had to calm myself down, do some breathing exercises, and mentally try to disconnect from the fuckery. The hardest times being when I’m in public. I NEVER talk back tho which is weird because I hardly ever bite my tongue I’m quick to defend myself, but deep down I know the aggression stems from all these problems.. plus I try to tell myself it’s not that deep and I’m leaving in less than a month. I know I won’t have to deal with this ever ever again. Also honestly staying quiet gets everyone on my side because people see the way I’m spoken to and are like “wtf ignore it you’re doing great”. Lol I wish I could go into more detail because there is SO much tea I can spill, but for privacy (and maybe legal idk?) reasons I’m going to stay quiet. Another intern who started seeing the verbal abuse asked me about everything so I confided in her about all the drama and she’s like “wooow everything makes sense things were worse when before you got here” kjndvdf we were super tight it was so great :’) but she left and everything changed when the fire nation attacked. Honestly, everyone I work/have worked with have been so great. I only got close with like two or three tho but still everyone is so nice lol. So yeah even though the work experience here is amazing and something I will value for the rest of my life, the home life aspect is fucked up. I’m even trying to convince my parents to sell this plot to Lifetime lmao it’s THAT dramatic. *sigh* Some other news is I was supposed to be in Spain right now. I literally Uber’ed myself and my grandmother all the way to the airport yesterday morning, show up to the check-in counter with a smile and bags in hand just so they could tell me “Sorry, you don’t show up on our system” to my face. I’ve never had an issue with my flight so the room was spinning a lil and was low key panicking because 1. English isn’t anyone’s first language here 2. I was abroad and had no idea what to do because I didn’t even make the reservation so I had to call two different airlines and try to resolve the MESS, but nothing was resolved they fucked up my booking from the beginning so only my return flight was paid for not the departure :) so after easily deciding I was NOT going to pay $580 for a one-way outbound ticket, I had to quickly figure out my next move. (PRO TIP: ALWAYS BOOK DIRECTLY WITH COMPANIES THEY’LL WORK WITH YOU AND REFUND YOU IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG. EVEN IF YOU SEE A CHEAPER PRICE ON ONE OF THOSE TRAVEL SITES SOMEONE TOLD ME THEY’LL PRICE MATCH YOU AND EVEN GIVE YOU DIFFERENT FLIGHT ACCOMMODATIONS LIKE CHANGING LAYOVER FLIGHTS IT’S MAGICAL). Everyone I’m living with went to Spain the day before, so after bending over backwards to try and get the house key from my grandmother who already passed through security (she couldn’t wait for me bc the guy at security had 5 min to wheelchair her to her gate), I found a way to contact her (a blessing bc if not I would have had to stay at a hotel or something) and had her hand me the keys back to our place. I didn’t have the patience to take a bus back to the city so I paid the extra fare to Uber back home. The weird part is I’m not even mad. After calling the airlines, contacting my parents, contacting my family already in Spain that I wouldn’t be going, I was just… chilling. Got some groceries and I’ve been living la vida loca just eating and watching netflix lol. Sure, I wanted to go see a new country and even try to see the town my great grandparents were from, but if there’s anything I learned this year is… everything happens for a reason. I think it would have been an amazing trip, but there’s a reason I didn’t get to travel this weekend. Theres a reason I had to leave my job at the bank. Theres a reason I’m here in Prague in the first place. There’s a reason I’m witnessing this entire Mess. I guess there’s some growth in that too you know what I mean? Younger me would have probably combusted in hatred and be extremely negative and complain that “my life sucks” when in reality it’s fine it’s just in general, shitty things happen…. but life won’t stop for anybody not even me. On the bright side, some good lessons came out of this experience. Forget 2016, this was the real year of realizing things™. I’m going back to Miami with a completely different drive and mindset. For example, I knew school is important and I get good grades, but my attitude towards my education is COMPLETELY different now. Being “good” just isn’t good enough for me anymore. With my grades now I could get into a “good” grad school, but now I don’t even want “good” I want something better. I want great I want the best I want to work my ass off to get into an AMAZING school. I still don’t know everything or even want I want 100%, but this trip has helped me change how I plan to approach/execute my future goals. That “oh I guess I’ll work someday idk that’s a long time from now so I don’t care I’ll worry about it another day” won’t cut it anymore. Now that I’m thinking about it, a lot of things need changing when I get back. Which speaking of getting back, I’m counting down the days I’m so excited I leave at the end of the month ayee!! Lol okay I feel like I’m just rambling at this point. There were a few more things I wanted to say buut………… I forgot it so I’ll just end it here and make a new post if I remember lol. Even if no one reads this, future me will and she’ll remember how the Ctrl album from SZA was playing in the background while writing this and probably cringe at how bittersweet this whole experience/year has been.

TLDR I learned a lot on this internship (good and bad) and I’m basically going back home a new person :-)

[elasianstar]

The world on a turtle’s back Chapter 1

“Ok Mikey, now you have to ride Agro up to the Colossus's flank as its wing flaps drag in the sand, then you have to jump for it and climb up to the top.”

“Almost, almost….dangit i missed.”

“That's ok, just get agro and chase him down again before he gets away!”

“GO AGRO!”

“He's taking off hurry Mikey!”

“BOOYAKASHA! GOT IT!”

“Are you two still playing that old game? It's the fourth day in a row.”

Leo was standing behind us one hand on each back cushion of the couch as his icy eyes scanned the screen where Mikey was taking down the flying snake falanx. The bright sword piercing the rune on the furry back of the beast before it fell, diving into the sand.

“Its not a bad game bro.”

“Yeah leo don't smash the classics, the original shadow of the colossus pushed the boundaries of what a platforming game was in its time. Back then game designers had to figure out how to code everything in a game from scratch, the industry was full of miraculous advancements in that time and it blew the minds of the gaming audiences around the world. A lot of what we know about data storage and computing came from the early game developers of the 80’s and 90’s.”

“She’s right, I use the same basic coding in the Tphones that was developed to create pokemon red. On a bigger scale of course, that program literally refused to crash.”

“I have an idea actually, go get Raph, we’ll play an awesome game i'm sure you'll all love.”

Mikey ran off to the weight room to get Raphael while i pulled an ancient gaming console out of my backpack.

“Is that an original Playstation?”

“Yeah Don its my little brother’s old console, how do you guys feel about a Crash Team Racing Tournament? My brothers and I play this all the time.”

“I could use a break from training”

“Yeah sure,i would love to play a game on such a nostalgic console, the tech back then was archaic but it was impressively durable.”

Laughing i plugged the old wires into the back of the tv.

‘You're telling me, Gabriel once shoved a PB&J in here when Charles had pissed him off. It still works like a charm.”

Donnie was turning the squat square console in his hands admiring the worn casing before pressing the button to lift the top disk hatch.

“You weren't lying, there’s a little dried jelly stuck under the scanner, its amazing this thing still works.”

Setting it down i popped the disk inside, pressing the power button only for it to freeze on the logo screen.

“It's done this from time to time ever since it went through a house fire, all it needs is a little…”

I slapped the machine and the disk continued playing like normal.

“Percussive maintenance.”

When Mikey and Raph got back i tossed each of them a controller as they sat on either side of me on the floor between the couch and the tv.

...

“I CALL CRASH!”

“This N-GIN fellow seems interesting, is that a guided missile.”

“Yep he’s good in the battle maps Don, I’ve got dibs on COCO.”

“I’ll play as this Polar bear guy.”

“I’ve got... Tiny Tiger?”

I started us on an easy map that each of their characters would have an even footing on and within a few races it had turned into an all out war, missiles and bombs flew across the track and the boys were jostling to block each other's views of the screen. Tension was definitely building.

“TAKE THAT DONNIE! MY POLAR BEAR KICKS YOUR CYBORG’S BUTT ON AN ICE MAP!”

“MIKEY HOP QUICK YOU HAVE A TNT ON YOUR HEAD!”

“FUCK I WAS WATCHING THE WRONG SCREEN!”

“AHHH SEAL!”

“WHAT THE FUCK LEO, I JUST GOT IN FIRST FUCKING PLACE AND YOU SHOOT ME WITH A DAMN ELECTRIC BALL!”

Raph jumped up onto his feet, getting in his older brother’s face with his lips pulled back in a snarl and his hands balled into fists.

“All’s fair in love and war Raphael, now stop making such a big deal out of a game.”

“I'M THE ONE MAKING A BIG DEAL OF THE GAME? YOU'VE STOLEN THE TROPHY FROM ME THREE DAMN TIMES NOW!”

The two stared each other down for several moments, Raph's anger seeming to visibly build itself off of Leo’s, before Raphael’s huge fist made contact with Leonardo’s face. The two rolled off behind the couch where they started beating the shit out of each other, curses flying while Mikey attempted to shield me and the console from the fury of the two behemoths. Within a few minutes the fight burned out to both boys staring at each other tensely, Leo rose to his feet and postured dominantly while Raph slunk back in defeat, leaving for the tunnel to the surface.

Pulling away from Mikey i gently waved off his concerned glance and moved toward Leonardo, He wasn't the only one who could pull the dominant shtick. Pulling my wings up to make myself look bigger though the blue turtle had nearly a foot on me i stalked up to Leo on my toes. Moving like a predator  my eyes flashed away from their usual green-blue hue to burn bright gold. We stared at each other in much the same way the brothers had moments before, although neither of us showed any sign of breaking into violence neither of us was willing to submit to the other’s will either.

“A good leader takes all of their followers’ thoughts and emotions into count before any action. I’m not saying Raphael was right in throwing such a fit but you could have handled that much more tactfully. I suggest you learn to understand your team better. They are warriors yes but they're also your family, and they're all you’ve got. You might consider not driving them away.”

Splinter’s voice interrupted us from where he was reading his romance novels on the overstuffed recliner.

“The young lady is wise Leonardo. You may benefit from heeding her advice.”

Leo’s eyes fell in submission to his sensei as I turned on my heel to follow Raph.

I found him a few blocks away sitting on top of an old apartment complex, his eyes on the horizon as the sky lightened for the coming dawn. At the sound of my landing he pulled in on himself a little tighter. I had seen the two eldest fight several times in the last week but I had never followed either before. Seeing this side of Raphael was something I never even considered as I sat quietly on the rooftop near him. My very presence seemed to make him relax, as if he were responding to my emotions. The first pop of sunlight struck us as the bright sphere edged over the horizon, golden rays sparking in his eyes and making them dance like embers floating over a campfire.

“What are ya starin at.”

I dropped my gaze to my hands, gently twisting the agate ring around my finger.

“nothing, sorry.”

After a while he stood up, holding out a hand to help me to my feet.

“Thanks, for sitting with me. I don't know why but it helped.”

“you're welcome.”

we were both a bit fidgety, but i’d had some time to think and had come up with a theory i had to test.

“Hey Raph, have you ever heard of empaths?”

“why.”

“It's just you seem to be very in tune with others emotions though you may not realize it.There was little reason for you to get so worked up down there but your energy was buzzing with all sorts of competition and spite and anger. You were mirroring and amplifying your brothers’ emotions to the point that you just lost control of it all. I think it may be the root of your more extreme anger issues, you absorb others’ turbulent emotions and compound them on your own without realizing until you get explosive….”

the look he gave me set my nerves off again and i hid behind my hair,  “Sorry was that too creepy and analytical?”

He nodded a bit looking at me skeptically, indecisive on whether he believed what I was saying or if he thought it was unsettling how easily I could read him.

“here,”

I placed my hand over his and thought of my favorite memory with my brothers.

“What do you feel?”

His eyes fell on our hands, a small hint of a smile tugging at his mouth.

“How are you doing that?”

“I'm not doing anything more than reliving a pleasant memory. I can help you with this though. Empathy is a common skill even amongst humans, you simply have to learn to realize which emotions don't originate from you and develop ways to deal with them without letting them cloud your own mind.”

“And that will keep me from being such a dumbass?”

I smiled wickedly, slapping him gently on the arm with the back of my fingers.

“Sorry I can't cure dumbass, but I can help you reign this in. All you have to do is give it an effort, Deal?”

His large hand grabbed mine like he was afraid to break it.

“Deal.”

…

The next friday I texted Raph and asked him to meet me on the roof of my apartment just after their twilight patrol. I set out a large blanket and packed some snacks and drinks, i stretched my wings out in the warm light of the setting sun to wait.

About an hour after sundown i heard the low thud of Raphael’s landing on the roof behind me. Looking over my shoulder i quickly sat up, laying my wings comfortably behind me i motioned for him to sit across from me on the blanket.

“So how are we doin this?”

“Well first you're going to have to actually make eye contact.”

He looked up at me and I could tell he was worried, but I didn't bring it up. He would get more comfortable with practice.

“ Close your eyes, were going to start by simply getting you to differentiate between your own emotions and those transferred to you by another. Breath deep and tell me what you feel, I will block my own aura from transferring so you won't get any crossover from me.”

After a few moments of breathing he spoke.

“Well I'm still pissed at Leo for his usual high and mighty bullshit, and at Mikey for waking me up with a water balloon.”

“all right, anything else?”

“well the ache in my muscles from a few quick laps around the city, it's relaxing. And sitting here, that's…. Why do I have to do this?”

“because if you can't decipher your own emotions how will you tell the difference between them and another's?”

I began projecting a heavy sadness, watching as his shoulders slumped and his breath shuddered.

“stop,... please.”

I pulled back behind my wards, leaving a slight soothing behind to apologize.

“if you can't tell an enemy from a friend how could you ever guard yourself in battle? It is the same for your psyche. Now seeing as your anger is the hardest for you to control I want you to focus on a memory that makes you angry without causing a meltdown, a mild irritation.”

When I noticed his face twitching into anger I pushed a little, adding my own similar memories and emotions as I watched his face screw in on itself as he bordered on rage. His fists balled and his thick arms bulged as he fought to restrain himself.

“focus Raphael, don't let yourself get lost in the fog.”

His eyes snapped open, burning into my own before cooling as I withdrew the emotion.

“What did you feel? Explain your way through what you just experienced.”

“It started with me remembering a time when Mikey bent one of my Sai trying to use it to poke a hole in the wall to run a can phone between his and Leo’s rooms. Then it just kept getting worse, like fire ants biting but inside my mind, it kept pushing me, stinging and getting more intense for no reason…”

“anything specific about that sensation you think you could recognize if you tried again?”

“maybe?”

After about ten tries and an hour's work he was starting to notice the same “fire ants” sensation within a few seconds of intrusive emotion.

We tried a few times with some other emotions but with a change in emotion came a change in sensation so it was back at square one. We did manage to lock down the sensations for the big three emotions before I had him emotionally exhausted.

Anger= burning stinging “fire ants”

Sadness= heavy clammy “mud"

Happiness= soft and warm “fur”

The whole time I watched his aura, monitoring the color change from red to blue to yellow. With the addition of intrusive emotion each one changed, becoming streaked with a slightly different shade of the target color.

Now he lay flat on his plastron, eyes still closed as I helped him clear his mind of all of the tumultuous emotions of our session. I had put on some gentle music that used natural sounds and radiated calm peaceful energy that he soaked up like a man lost in the desert guzzles water.

“I know you're doing that.”

I spoke around a mouth full of the cookies we were munching on.

“What?”

He took a swig from his water bottle.

“Making me feel all calm and peaceful on purpose. It feels like a warm sunlamp.”

“you made some good progress today, but you frazzled yourself. sue me for wanting to help.”

He did that laugh/smirk thing before burying his face in his crossed arms, a muffled thanks nearly silenced.

“It won't be that easy with others, I was pumping some pretty deliberate emotions your way using my abilities as a soul reader. Unintentional exchanges will be harder to notice before they've influenced your core emotional state. We’ll keep working with weaker and weaker signals and more varied emotions until you're completely familiar with each new sensation.”

He just hummed, and soon snores started to rumble through him as he fell asleep. He must have been more exhausted than I thought.

Careful to not wake him I drug the blanket he was laid upon under one of the rooftop awnings, throwing the other blanket over his splayed out body. I sent a quick text to the brothers explaining that Raph had been doing some training at my place and i had offered for him to crash here over the daylight hours. Nestling myself amongst my own wings I took up residence at the mouth of the awning and fell asleep to the rising sun.

RAPH POV

I woke up with a major kink in my neck, the late may heat feeling nice on my skin with the cool breeze.

Peeking my eyes open I noticed that I was under some sort of plastic dome thing that was open on one end like an igloo or something. Near the door a small black lump lay guarding the entrance, stray feathers and wisps of dark hair being blown by the breeze. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of her literally making me a blanket nest and guarding me while I slept.

“Morning Raph.”

She spoke without even a change in her breath to tell me she had woke up. It startled me, how long had I been watching her?

“hm. Mornin.”

Her wings rose first, fluttering a few times to fix the messy feathers before she sat up. She stretched her spine and rolled her shoulders, light cracks and pops betraying  her poor sleeping position before looking at me with those big eyes. They were emerald green ringed with blue and soft in the scattered light.

“you think you could sneak downstairs to my apartment or do you wanna just sit tight up here while I make breakfast.”

My stomach growled at the mention of food.

“as long as there aren't any helicopters around I think I'll manage.”

She poked her head out the front of the shelter and looked around before waving me on to follow her. Staying low we slid through the roof access door and down the flight of stairs to her apartment door.

The place was studio style with most of the space being one big room, a kitchenette sat off to the right and the living space was to the left. Above the bathroom was a small loft blocked from view by a tapestry of the night sky. The hardwood floor was scattered with black shed feathers and the windowsill was filled with long planters each holding several large plants. All of the shelves were covered in rocks and sculptures and little things, and there was a freaky looking stuffed raven sitting above her computer that creeped me out. the thing was watching me i swear.

She motioned for me to take a spot on the worn love seat facing the kitchen while she got to work cooking.

“Is sausage and eggs Ok?”

She was already pulling a large black iron skillet out of the cabinet and placing it loudly on the stove.

“You don't have to…”

She whirled around on me holding the spatula threateningly.

“Not another word, how many times have you guys had me over for dinner at the lair in the last two weeks, between feeding me after a medical visit or me just crashing dinner while hanging out I'm eating your food most nights. Now is sausage and eggs alright?”

her spunk always surprised me, so much spark in such a little bird.

“Throw in toast with some of that kiwi jelly you brought splinter last Tuesday and I'll shut up.”

She smiled, taking a jar out of the fridge with a tub of butter before digging out her toaster, The smell of cooking food making my mouth water.

Between flips she fumbled with her phone and the light guitar intro of Bon Jovi’s Dead or Alive started playing as she moved around the space.

“I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted, Waannteeed, dead or alive…”

She tossed her head a bit while the guitar solo echoed in the small space

“And I walk These streets, worn out six string on my back. I play for keeps, because I might not make it back. I've been everywhere, still standin tall, I've seen a billion faces, and I've rocked them all!”

She knew every word, singing along with the music as she took something out of the skillet.

“And I'm a cowboy, I've got the night on my side, and I'm wanted, Dead or alive. And I ride, dead or alive!”

“So you're a classic rock fan.”

She reacted like she hadn't realized I had actually been watching as Panama from van Halen blared. She turned it down a bit as she cracked eggs into the skillet.

“Oh uh yeah, my youngest brother is really into it and it kinda re-lit my flame for the genera. Not as good as seeing it performed live…”

“you've seen Bon Jovi live?”

She ducked and waved it off.

“Yeah, well another me did. Should have seen her back then. I think my brother Felix still has my favorite leather biker jacket somewhere, he borrowed it last Halloween and hasn't returned it. I was a total rock chick back in the 70’s.”

The image of her in a heavy leather jacket while she sat on a wide and low red Harley flashed through my thoughts.

“Anyway food’s ready, ummm…”

She was looking between the dining table and the couch.

“You might be a bit too heavy for the dining chairs that came with this place. I'll let you eat on the couch this once but if this is going to become a regular thing I'll see about getting something sturdier for you.”

She handed me a plate loaded with food and placed a couple of glasses of milk on the coffee table before going back for her own. There were strange dark brown disks like hamburger patties on the plate, I picked one up and sniffed it, unsure of what it could be.

“have you never had country sausage before?”

My expression must have given me away, this thing was a sausage? What happened to the long linked ones Mikey would sometimes have April get from the Italian market?

“Try it, it's the same thing just without the casing, I personally like to dip them in my egg yolk.”

She tore the disk in half, dipping it in the runny egg before popping it in her mouth with a satisfied hum and an expectant look.

ELASIA POV

He seemed unsure of the new food but with a bit of coaxing he tried it, tossing the piece of sausage in his mouth like it was a shot that needed to be downed quickly before the taste hit his tongue. When it did however his eyes went wide for a second and settled as he slowly chewed, savoring the smoky flavor.

“farm raised pork from back home, there isn't much better.”

Shoveling another whole patty in his mouth he mumbled something that sounded like, “we need to make you cook at the lair more often.”

I couldn't help but feel proud at that, puffing up a bit before speaking.

“I figured you'd want me all to yourself!”

The way his expression changed and how he choked on his food made me realize how that sounded.

“my...my cooking that is.”

RAPH POV

She got really quiet after that, staring down at her plate while she picked at her food.

I reached across the table and stole one of her sausages, her face flushed with shock as I popped it in my mouth.

“maybe I should keep quiet, wouldn't want Mikey to HOG all of this deliciousness.”

The snorting laugh she made when she realized my pun had me reaching over to teasingly attempt another sausage theft but she smacked my hand away. We both smiled as she nibbled on a piece of toast, awkwardness forgotten.

...

“Uggggghhh, no more woman, are you trying to make me explode?”

“It's not my fault you loved my cooking so much that you decided to steal half of my meal as well as the double helping I had made for you.”

She moved to take my plate and cup but I blocked her hand before she could.

“No you cooked let me help.”

Rolling up off the couch I grabbed my dishes and followed her to the sink.

“I'll wash and you can dry.”

She tossed me a ratty grey towel and started filling the sink with water and soap.

CRASH!!

“Shit I'm sorry, let me...fuck.”

I had dropped a wet plate on the floor and in my rush I stepped on a relatively large shard, embedding it in my foot.

ELASIA'S POV

Moving quickly I took the brunt of Raph’s weight on my shoulders as I helped him hop over to the couch and sit down. Kneeling in front of him I gently took his large 2 toed foot in my hands inspecting the damage before grabbing the biggest piece of the shard.

Raph had been quiet through the pain so far but hissed and jerked away as I tried to pull out the glass. I looked up at him with a calming gaze, immediately feeling him settle.

“this is going to hurt like a sonofabitch but I have to get all of the glass out before I can seal to wound.”

His gold-green eyes looked back into mine, searching for something before he nodded.

“I trust ya.”

When I pulled out the shard his heavy hand came down to grip my shoulder. Grabbing a pair of tweezers and a large sewing needle I set to work removing the smaller slivers, extending my wing up to comfortingly brush against his side and the arm that was gripping me. After a few minutes I had gotten out all of the shards and allowed my magic to work on the wound, sealing it shut and leaving a small scar in the arch of his foot.

I don't know why but I pressed a small kiss to the scar before turning away to clean up the glass and finish the dishes, leaving Raphael to watch dumbfounded from the couch.

…

A little while later the sun set and I heard a tapping on the glass door to the balcony. Pulling back the curtains I was met by the three figures of Leo, Donnie, and Mikey.

“Come on in guys, Raph is just watching fast N loud in the main room.”

Mikey and Donnie rushed past while Leo stayed back with me.

“I’m afraid we can't stay long, we have to get on patrol before the purple dragons start getting too active.”

“I understand.”

He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“Actually I have a couple things I need to say first. I'm sorry about the other night, you're right, I need to start trying to understand the unique ways my brothers think. It would not only help my role as a leader but it would connect us together better as a family. Especially Raph. And uh, speaking of Raph would you mind explaining this special training you mentioned last night?”

I had promised Raph that we would keep the details of our sessions private.

“It was nothing much, simply honing some innate abilities I believe he may possess. It's strictly confidential at this moment.”

“Yes, well then we really ought to be moving. Have a pleasant night Ms.Elasia. Mikey, Don, Raph let's move.”

Mikey gave me a quick hug and invited me down Sunday for game night and Donnie patted my hair claiming he left some files on my laptop that he’d like for me to look over before the two jumped off the balcony after Leo.

“Hey, um today was...nice.”

Raph lingered at the railing of the balcony, one hand gripping it ready to fling himself over.

“Yeah it was, next friday?  maybe?”

He smiled a little.

“Yeah sure, and ill...I'll practice a bit this week.”

Two beats of silence passed between us before I hopped up and wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug, my wings snaking around his shell. He froze for a second before I felt his strong arms around my waist and his chin sat firmly against my hair.

When I let go he was gone.