#monster!batfam

[msfcatlover]

More Monster!Batkids

Damian, newly arrived at the manor: *giving some condescending speech*

Steph: “I swear if he doesn’t shut up, I’m gonna—”

Dick, interrupting her: “Don’t.”

Tim, not even looking up: “Do it. I dare you.”

Dick: “Tim!”

Steph: “A dare’s a dare.”

Dick: “We are upstairs! And I am supposed to be watching you! Alfred’s gonna kill me if you make a mess!”

Steph: “Well I can’t do it in the cave, Dick!”

Tim, still not looking up: “Yeah, Dick. What if she missed and threw it over the railing? It’d be gone forever.”

Steph: “Oh, screw you! My aim is incredible.”

Damian, somewhere between baffled & offended: “What are you simpletons talking about?!”

Steph, grabbing a fistful of her own hair: “Hey, brat-boy. Think fast!”

Dick, scrambling to stop her: “Don’t!”

(Steph yanks her head off and lobs it at Damian. In the ensuing scuffle, a table & 2 vases get broken.)

Dick, forlornly: “Alfred’s going to kill me…”

Tim, watching the security feed: “Wow. Who’d have thought those stubby little legs could move so fast?”

Tim: *sips his drink*

Tim: “Do you think we should help her get it back again?”

Dick: “Don’t act like you didn’t start this, you little—”

[tiger-grace]

I think that Jason’s blood being green after the pit would be funny because he would absolutely not explain ANY of it to the heroes outside of his family

in a JL fight, Jason getting stabbed:

Flash: holy crap dude are you good?? ..wait

Jason: …

Flash: …

Jason: too much monster energy

[puppetmaster13u]

Hear me out: Demon Batfam but Bruce gets them as babies because people won't stop trying to sacrifice their children and he is So Tired

And it is semi-early Batman Bruce too.

[ghost-bxrd]

This one looks so silly right now but I gotta trust the process 💪😭🤣

[the-booty-crusader]

Late night working…

Also I agree with all the headcanons that Tim would be a Monster kid lmao

[greeeengoblin]

[superbat-love]

Teacher: Hello Mr Kent, this is Mrs Smith speaking, Jon’s teacher. Will you be picking your son up from school?

Clark: Give me half an hour. I’m just…caught up in something urgent right now. [someone screeching in the background]

Teacher: [alarmed] What was that? Mr Kent, is everything all right?

Bruce: Oh, he’s probably dealing with that nasty pest problem. [takes the phone and puts it on speaker] Clark, it’s me. Do you need help?

Clark: No, I can handle it! Take that! [more screeching in the background] Bruce, there’s more of them! The spiders are pushing us back!

Bruce: Just as I suspected, a spider infestation. [sounds of explosions on the phone] Large spiders. HUGE. Well, you know how big spiders can get in Kansas.

Clark: [incomprehensible yelling]

Bruce: Hang in there Clark, I’ll call the pest control. Jon can stay at the manor tonight with Damian, don’t worry about it. [ends the call and hands the phone back to the teacher] Come on, boys. Good day, Mrs Smith.

Jon & Damian: Bye Mrs Smith!

Teacher: [looking shell-shocked]

Superbat Family Fics

[thehauntedetheral]

Request-

Sea Sorcerer x Mermaid Reader x Human Prince

Basically like the little mermaid fairy tale, but instead the sea sorcerer loves mermaid reader. I hope this still gives you enough room to be creative

Sea Sorcerer x Mermaid Reader x Human Prince

Requests are open!

You were a beautiful mermaid and on top of that a lovely princess. Many mermen tried to get your attention but you weren't interested in any.

But one day your father, the king of your sea kingdom sets your marriage with a human prince whose kingdom lies on the outskirts of ocean. Your kingdom and his has been having a lot of trouble due to sea creatures and humans which eventually always leads to small arguments and fights. So to put all that behind your father and his set off your marriage with prince.

You have always dreamed of having a husband, kids to love, a happy family with a beautiful home. Since you got the news of your arranged marriage. You and the prince would meet everyday at the shore to discuss everything about your future life as per the parents instructions. You liked prince he was tall, handsome, gentleman, a true prince charming.

You would bring him pretty shells, stones, pearl or a sea dish you made for which he would thank you but he always kept his distance from you. And made you think that he was doing a formality and truly didn't like you. You feel like if you get to know more about human traditions and start to act like humans he might like you more. You wanted him to like you, love you because you already feel this towards him. But even after lots of trying you just feel it's not enough.

So one day you go to sea Sorcerer who lives in your kingdom and is infamous for his spells. You asked the sea sorcerer to make you a human but you didn't knew that the sea Sorcerer was madly in love with you, with your smile, your gorgeous siren eyes. How could you do this to him ?He was furious that you were getting married to that vile Human and on top of that you wanted to be a human for that prince??

He puts a spell on you making you fall in love with him madly. The sea Sorcerer kept you hidden in his huge sea hole.

Many days passed by and you didn't even come to the shore one single time making prince worried. He loves you. He didn't show it because he was trying to overcome the fact that he was going to marry a mermaid princess. How could he not fall for you? With you bringing him shells, pearls. Your gorgeous smile, your cute confused look when he explains about some human things to you, your cute starfish hairclip which you love a lot,he even bought a shell necklace for you because he heard you love shells. he loves you a lot.

With you being missing the whole water kingdom searches for you but you are no where to be found. When this news is told to prince he thinks now he has to take the matter in his own hands. He summons his kingdom 's personal sorcerer and ask him to put a spell on him to become a merman. The Sorcerer makes his highness a merman and the prince dives into sea. He would do anything to find you even become a merman.

He searches for you everywhere in sea when he stumbles upon the sea Sorcerer's hole. He gets a instinct that the sea sorcerer might help him to locate you. He peeks inside the hole to see you snuggled against the Sorcerer.

The prince gets into the fight with sorcerer upon seeing this and finally gets you. But you under the spell of sea sorcerer constantly tell him that you love sea sorcerer and not him. Sensing the sea sorcerer might have put you under his spell. He takes you against your will upward to the shore. Where after touching the land he comes back to his human form and calls his kingdom 's personal sorcerer who breaks the spell upon you.

Prince finally let's out a sigh of relief and kiss your lips or more like devoure it.

"I like you more under my spell as much as I am under yours my queen" prince says while not letting go of your lips and lifting you in his arms in bridal style not wanting to ever let go of you again making you smile like a idiot. Well it Seems like you already had prince under your spell long ago without the help of sea sorcerer.

Requests are open!

For more yandere reading

[littlefankingdom]

No, they do not. It would destroy them to do so. Dick got really depressed after killing the Joker, he hated himself. Tim worked to save the lives of assassins from the League of Assassins. Yes, they value life. Stop insulting their characters.

[msfcatlover]

In the monster!kids AU, Dick & Jason have a running argument about how Jason never, ever lets Dick try to break Jason’s falls.

Dick: “But it’s my job to look out for you! What kind of big brother do you take me for?!”

Robin!Jason: “Dickie. I am 800lbs of solid limestone. And you are made of hollow glass. In what world is me falling on you a good idea?”

Hood!Jason: “GET IT INTO YOUR HOLLOW HEAD THAT I WEIGH A LITERAL TON! YOU’RE MADE OF GLASS, DICKHEAD! YOU. WILL. DIE.”

Dick, grumbling: “Porcelain is ceramic, not glass…”

[violent138]

Batfamily member's civilian identity becomes some serial killer's target because it fits some profile. Cue said murderer going after this member of the Batfamily, earning a very shocked and mildly exasperated set of swear words and then getting their ass kicked. The Batfamily member doesn't even bother calling the cops, just tosses the would be killer in the back of their car (which has bloody gloves in the seat and weird files on people), leading the murderer to conclude they're in the presence of a much worse serial killer.

Tldr: Outsider POV fic where a Batfamily member earns the undying adoration of an actual murderer and it's a slow, convoluted process to getting the evidence to arrest them while also protecting their secret identity.

[puppetmaster13u]

So if I were to hypothetically start a Project....

Would anyone actually be interested in it?

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: You know, just the other day someone asked who was the most beautiful person in the whole world. You know what I said?

Selina: What did you say?

Bruce: I said—

Bruce: *sees Clark gesturing outside the window*

Bruce: Superman?

Selina: Superman?

Bruce: No! No, that's not what I was going to say!

Selina: Bruce, you're not making any sense.

Bruce: I mean, sure, he's handsome, he's rugged, but–

Bruce: I have to go.

[absolutely-esme]

Monster!Tim Coraline AU Idea

This idea would not leave me alone.

It’s a cross between a meta!/magic!Tim au and a Coraline au.

Before I get into it, I feel like I should explain.  I was on a bit of an Eldritch!Batfamily and Cryptid!Batfamily kick.  Then I found a collection of supernatural Tim aus.  Then I stumbled across a Coraline au.  There’s probably also some inspiration in there from vampire au fics.

It didn’t really jell until the idea occurred to me of a scene where some frightened villain asks Tim “What kind of monster are you?” and Tim says “The hungry kind.”

...

The idea is that somewhere back along the way, Tim’s family tree includes some kind of supernatural creature which may or may not have been an eldritch entity.

The supernatural heritage allows Tim to acquire abilities from other entities he has defeated, and Gotham is absolutely full of the supernatural if you pay attention.

Of course, Tim’s power isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.  It actually comes packaged with some pretty nasty side effects.

One of those side effects is perpetual Hunger.  Tim is always Hungry.  There is no way to stop it.  He eats enough to stay healthy, but he still feels Hunger at all times.  Increasing his food intake will not help and will screw up his metabolism and cause him to need more for normal function.  If this was allowed to spiral out of control it could eventually reach a point where he was physically unable to eat the amount of food he needed to function and starved to death on a full stomach. 

Fixing it is stupid hard because this particular sort of magical inheritance is really fucking inconvenient.  And, of course, whatever is up with his biology also makes him insanely susceptible to addiction, so no coffee for him unless he wants caffeine withdrawal symptoms all the time for however long it takes to fix that.  The constant Hunger also makes it difficult to get enough sleep.  Have you ever tried to go to sleep on an empty stomach?  Not easy, was it?  Imagine that every night.

The Hunger is fairly central to the nature of the magic.  Whatever supernatural entity he’s descended from, it is the Hungry kind.  The ritual of defeating another supernatural entity, taking a bit of the defeated entity’s power, and incorporating it into himself serves as a sort of metaphorical devouring, (and metaphors matter more to magic than they do to normal biology).  That’s why he’s able to gain power and abilities from defeated foes. 

...

Tim’s relationship with his parents is complicated.  His supernatural heritage comes from his mother’s side of the family.  She did her best to teach him about it and how to cope with it, but a lot of knowledge was lost over the generations due to persecution forcing those like them into hiding more than once.  There may have been a few individuals who spiraled out of control and caused small-scale famines before losing their lives.  It only takes a few cases for people to decide that a specific category of people is simply not worth the risk of having around.  Janet always referred to herself and Tim (as well as anyone else sharing the condition) as “those afflicted with Gluttony.”  This is the closest they have to a name for the condition.

One of the important things Janet Drake teaches her son is to pursue his passions.  It is incredibly important for individuals like them to have things outside the self that they can draw satisfaction and fulfilment from, things that keep them going in the face of the relentless Hunger.  This is what leads Tim to his night-time photography of Gotham, and eventually to his fascination with the Bats. 

Janet’s passions are archeology and travel.  Unfortunately, traveling from dig site to dig site is not a particularly stable or safe environment to raise a child in.  She needs to do these things to remain in good health.  Without her external coping mechanisms, she could start spiraling.  If she starts spiraling, it might trigger her son to start spiraling too because children in their developmental years are delicate, and this type of hereditary magic is fucking inconvenient (there might be ways of managing things that make it easier to live with, but between the knowledge lost and the risks that come with experimentation, they don’t have much info on how anything works).  She comes home as much as she can without the risk of compromising both their health.

She also taught Tim how to calculate appropriate portion sizes based on nutritional data so as not to screw up his metabolism, and how to fix it if he does mess up.  She also stayed and managed the process the first time it happened because the process of returning the metabolism of one afflicted with Gluttony to normal after it’s gotten out of hand is difficult and unpleasant and Tim wasn’t old enough to handle it by himself.  The nanny that had overfed him hadn’t been malicious or unreasonable, she’d just been operating on the assumption that he had standard human biology.  It took months to get Tim healthy again.  It took several hefty bribes to keep things under wraps.  Janet doesn’t know if there are still people out there hunting their kind, but she’s not willing to risk it.

Janet may not know about the aspect of the family magic that lets them gain powers from defeating other entities.  It’s possible that she was holding off on explaining this until he was older and more ready for the responsibility of multiple superpowers.  It’s also possible that the knowledge got lost somewhere along the way and Janet didn’t discover it herself because she didn’t spend her childhood running around Gotham at night and was more the sort of person who would stay home and read when she had trouble sleeping.

...

Tim discovers his ability to gain abilities from defeating other supernatural things fairly early on.  The type of defeat can vary, but it has to be something of significance.  A fight will work for most, but there are other particular challenges that will work for specific cases.

The first things a young Tim is able to beat are these small things, invisible to most, that gain power from learning secrets.  What that power is used for, I couldn’t tell you.  They don’t seem to do much other than sneak around and learn secrets.  Tim doesn’t know if there’s a proper name for these things or not, but he calls them Secret Hunters.  They are absolutely everywhere in Gotham. 

Secret Hunters are invisible to most, but Tim is able to see them.  It might be because of his own supernatural nature, or it might be something else entirely.  If it’s hereditary it must have skipped his parents’ generation.  Neither of them seem to be able to see them.  Tim gains improved stealth and a sense for when something is hidden from catching Secret Hunters until they wise up and start avoiding him.  (Catching them works in place of a fight because secret hunters primarily operate on stealth and evasion.)

He can’t just magically know secrets, but he can tell when there is a secret.  (He still figured out Batman’s and Robin’s secret identities on his own merit.  The most this ability would have done is alert him to the fact that they had secret identities if that hadn’t already been obvious from the fact that they were wearing masks.)

He also gets various other abilities from other things he encounters while scrambling all over Gotham at night.  Nearly doesn’t get out of some of the scrapes he gets himself into.  He gains the ability to cut with his fingernails as if they were razors from something that nearly killed him.  He gains the ability to climb like a goat from a Jersey Devil.  Etc.

...

At some point, Tim is targeted by a beldam.  He doesn’t get the kind of warnings that Coraline does, but his ability to sense secrets lets him know that the Beldam is hiding something, and any child raised in any part of Gotham knows to be suspicious of things that seem too good to be true.  Tim doesn’t have a convenient seeing stone from the neighbor, but he does have the advantage of his own supernatural nature which the Beldam doesn’t know about.

Tim finds a button-eyed doll that looks like him after his parents leave on yet another trip, and thinks it’s a gift they meant to give him before leaving.  They do often bring interesting souvenirs.  It wouldn’t be at all unusual for them to find an artist who sews dolls to look like people and have one made based on pictures of him.  Later on, he discovers the key. 

This Beldam is older and more powerful than the one from Coraline.  She has more power and more past victims to work with, so she’s able to make a larger, more populated world. 

Oh by the way, I head-canon that the Other versions of people in the Other world are actually past victims of the Other Mother, remade and dressed up for whatever role she has them play.  The three ghosts were just the three most recent and not fully processed for use yet.  That’s why the Others are able to act against her sometimes (Other Wybie saving Coraline from the mirror, Other Father tossing the eye to Coraline) or say things she doesn’t want them too (Other Father says “so sharp you won’t feel a thing” and Other Mother kicks him under the table).

The Other Mother doesn’t know all that Tim knows, so the Other World has inconsistencies like Other Batman and Other Robin sitting across the table from Other Bruce and Other Jason.  She doesn’t know they’re the same people.  She just knows that they’re all important to Tim.  She also tries to tell him to “eat as much as he wants” when his real mother was the one to explain the dangers of attempting to eat to fullness for people with their condition.

There isn’t a cat to warn Tim but he doesn’t need it.  He can sense hidden intentions in everything, and he’s fully capable of uncovering the hidden secrets himself. 

Tim doesn’t have a cat, but he does have Other Robin, who might have been made from whatever remained of someone close to one of the people mirrored in the Other World made for Tim.  He doesn’t remember his life, but somehow he feels incredibly motivated to help a boy who cares dearly for whoever and is willing to let him know that they're living a good life out there in the real world.

Tim discovers the nature of the other world and sets out to free the souls trapped there.  He fights the Beldam will all the viciousness and desperation of someone who knows they’ve only got one shot.  He takes everything he can from this fight as he makes sure she won’t ever hurt anyone again.  He doesn’t stop until the beldam is well and truly dead.  Then he unravels Other Gotham and spills all of the souls out into the world where they can move on and rest.

This is how Tim learns to Sew.  He can’t make entire populated worlds like the beldam, but that’s mostly because he refuses to do what she did.  He can control things he’s made (though there’s limits on how much) and even see through buttons he’s sewn (onto cushions and such, he's not the Other Mother).  He also gets some minor illusory powers that let him make things look a bit brighter/nicer/cheerier than they are.  It takes quite some time before he’s comfortable with using these powers.  Trauma is a bitch like that.

Part of the reason this version of Tim was so desperate to do something about Batman losing it out of grief is because he already has Evil Batman trauma from Other Batman, and he doesn’t need that shit happening in real Gotham.

By this point Tim has a collection of powers that allow him to navigate the more dangerous parts of Gotham largely without fear.  Now he has to learn how to manage without using any that he isn’t one hundred percent certain he can sneak past Batman, which means he’ll have to divide his attention between learning from the training and not letting himself do things the supernatural way.  This is going to suck.

It does, in fact, suck.

Oh, it turns out some of the rogues are a bit supernatural.  He gains a bit of an intuitive understanding of the health of plants from Ivy.  He gains the ability to taste emotions from Scarecrow.  (Also, Johnathan Crane is a freaking weirdo, fear tastes like spoiled milk!)  The rogues with supernatural tendencies are freaking terrified of the new Robin because he always seems like he wants to freaking eat them.  The non-supernatural types don’t get it.

Eventually, Red hood breaks into Titan’s tower.  Tim, by this point, is very good at deciphering how supernatural entities work and is packing an extensive inventory of powers.  He realizes quickly that this is some kind of manipulative entity that feeds on rage and pain attached to an unwitting host.  When he realizes that the unknowing (and therefore unconsenting) host is Jason Todd, he tells the Lazarus Entity in no uncertain terms to give Jason back or perish.

Jason, who does not realize he has a malicious, mind-warping, supernatural parasite and believes there to be no one other than himself and Tim present, is understandably confused.

Tim decides that the Lazarus entity has had its chance and springs into action.

Jason is treated to the terrifying sight of just what Tim Drake is like when he’s not expending conscious effort on not being something out of a horror movie.  Suddenly he’s in the middle of a spider’s web and no matter how hard he tries to fight back everything around him is under the control of his opponent.  Furniture flies around on puppet strings.  Getting too close puts him in range of the freaking claws this kid apparently has!?  Trying to get away just leaves him caught in strings and the more he struggles the more entangled he becomes!  The new Robin is skittering and gliding around in a decidedly inhuman way. 

Jason honestly thinks he's going to die when he finds himself bound with Tim standing over him.  He passes out when Tim rips the Lazarus entity away from him and destroys it. 

Tim gains the ability to heal from defeating the Lazarus entity.

Jason is surprised and confused when he wakes up bundled in a handmade quilt with his head in Tim’s lap and a cool compress on his forehead, feeling sore but more well and whole than he has since before he died.

Jason later decides that his memories of the fight at Titans Tower must be some kind of weird fever dream caused by his body purging the last of the Lazarus Water from his system. It goes along with Tim's account of things.

According to Tim, Jason entered the tower, initiated a lock-down, and then collapsed on the floor. Then, Tim moved him closer to a wall where he was less likely to get stepped on than in the middle of the walkway and did his best to take care of him there because Jason was simply too large and heavy for him to carry all the way to the med bay by himself.

This is far more believable and less of a mind screw than what Jason remembers. Obviously this tiny, baby-faced kiddo who played nursemaid for a stranger who broke into the tower and now looks up at him with wide, starry eyes couldn't actually be the terrifying, predatory creature from the nightmare. It was all just a bad dream.

He's honestly glad he collapsed before he had time to do any harm. The poor kid will never have to know what Jason went there to do. Jason knows, though, and he'll do his damned best to make up for it. He may have flubbed first impressions, but he is going to be the best damn big brother that ever big brothered.

...

Tim might or might not go full on feral cryptid when Bruce is lost in the Timestream. I haven't decided. He will probably pick a fight with the Lazarus Pit much to the confusion and alarm of everyone around.

That’s all I’ve got so far.

[help-me-im-in-the-fandom]

When you stare into the Abyss: Origins

Masterlist

Next part

It started out pretty simple, almost three months after he had began his career as Batman, intent to save the innocent just as much as punish the criminals of Gotham.

“Batman is still just a man, he’s not a god.”

He had overheard the words at a gala the first time, when airhead Brucie is drinking and flirting with all the pretty girls he can see.

The words of course, don’t visibly effect him, don’t make him pause in his step or his voice calling towards a nearby heiress falter.

However, his heart beats in his chest even as he cozies up to the woman.

Because in truth, Batman was just a man, a rich, overly trained and incredibly intelligent man, but a man nonetheless.

He tries to ignore it, but as he keeps hitting the streets to dig out the rotting tendrils of corruption in this horrible place, he keeps hearing it.

A pair of smokers outside a club known for the fact no woman ever escaped without being drugged to hell and back, talking quietly about the rumors of the Batman that had began picking off their friends one by one.

“I ain’t scare’ o’ i’ jus’a man inna cos’ume.”

“He’s a de’il I ‘ell ya, ‘ere ‘o ‘ollect ‘is souls.”

Batman stays still on the roof above him, but even days later with both men in costudy and the bar shut down for health code violations, his mind keeps going back to the conversation.

It’s whispered in alleys and under bridges and inside packed clubs, the words a mantra the criminals begin to say like a prayer.

It’s sneered with distaste inside the mansions and museums of the rich, joked about inside their ivory castles covered in blood.

It’s said fear inside workplaces and coffe shops, whispered in schools and parks for their only protector.

Batman is just a man.

It agitated Bruce, he doesn’t know why at first, because it is the truth, he is just a man.

Then he sees a blurry photo a the Gotham Gazete with a humanoid shape of shadows, it’s nothing more than a Bigfoot sighting, blurry and pixelated and might just be a trick of the light.

But it makes his stomach curl, because he knows he might not be that lucky next time, and how long would it take for people to start looking for Batman, if they think he is just a man and have a photo to prove it?

Bruce, after a decade of crime fighting, will tell anyone he regrets the decision he made that night, what it created.

His family will hug him and tell him he couldn’t have known.

Because in the bar stool of the kitchen where Alfred is plating an enormous plate of breakfast to make up for the calories lost the night before, he makes a decision.

Batman needed to be more than a man, perhaps not a god, but something close enough no one would ever accuse air-head Bruce Wayne of being the terror of Gotham’s underground.

Alfred will tell what followed was a three day whirlwind of creative insperatikn and sleep-deprived insanity mixed with an over caffeinated Billionaire’s pocket money.

Bruce would say it was three days of careful planning and precise research as well as dozens of mock up designs.

In the end it takes longer than a month for Bruce to implement the changes to his original suit design, practically scrapping it and starting over between dodging board meetings and stalking the streets.

But eventually, Bruce finishes his design, and that night the screams of terror are stronger for quite a while, after all, Batman is no longer just a man.

[rad-batson]

Multiverse AU where different variants of Damian Wayne Al Ghul are accidentally hailed to one universe and Damian is in the middle, trying to get all of them back home, but it only gets worse and NOT for the reasons you would think.

So picture this: there’s a sea of Damian variants crowded into the Batcave. One’s a leader of the LOA. Another became the next Harley Quinn? One is a mute assassin. Another is Red Hood’s apprentice. One’s Batman. One’s a meta for some reason. Another is the leader of a revolution. One’s a monk. And another is a clone. They’re all somehow involved in vigilantism or the LOA.

And then there’s a completely normal one. He goes by Dami. He’s in college :) He works at an art studio. He’s got a heart condition. He has a boyfriend, and he has never been Robin before. In fact, he doesn’t even know his dad is Batman. So in a room full of wildly different versions, this Damian sticks out like a sore thumb. He’s like an NPC just standing in the middle of a final battle.

What he does know is that his mother, Talia, left the LOA with him when he was two because she fell in love with Bruce. Since then, the three have lived a Perfectly Normal Life as Perfectly Normal People in a moderately nice house in the suburbs of Gotham.

And you know what? No one questions it. Out of all the problems the Damians are having right now, Normal Damian is the least of them. So he just sits to the side, completely chill, and doesn’t interfere.

But then some chaos happens, the Damians are all sucked into a battle at some secondary location, Normal Dami is kidnapped, gets killed, and everyone’s super depressed about it. (Gosh, he was so nice. Why did it have to be him? Boo hoo. We didn’t even have time to recover the body.)

Until they head back to the cave…and there he is. Respawned. Alive. Confused.

He was literally dead on the floor two hours ago. They checked for a pulse! He bled out. Normal NPC Dami is supposed to be dead. But nope. He’s right there. “Hey, what happened? The last thing I remember is being tied up. Did I faint again?”

Everyone else, the whole batfamily and the mini Damian army, is like “wtf how’d you get here, buddy?” While he’s just like :) so Bruce, who put a bug on the security cameras or whatever, checks the footage and what he finds is absolutely horrifying.

Just after he died, Normal Dami’s eyes snapped open. Glowing a deep Lazarus Green. He stood up, walked out, and immediately fucking decimated the remaining group of kidnappers like a rabid animal. Literally anyone who got near him were goners, and Thank Sweet Jesus he didn’t run into anyone on the walk back because he didn’t care to clean off all that blood. Nope, he just walked right through the front doors of the manor, found a clean set of clothes, completely on autopilot, then all of the adrenaline wore off, and he collapsed from exhaustion.

So everyone watches the footage. NPC Damian is horrified. He insists that’s not him because he doesn’t kill people! How could they ever accuse him of killing people?! He has never done something like that. He can’t even walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded for Christ’s sake!

Nonetheless, he agrees to sit in their itty bitty holding cell as they do some fun little tests, and lo and behold: he is so genetically fucked up. Why? Because his DNA isn’t like the other Damians. It’s completely mutated by this green glowing substance that they know all too well.

The verdict? Normal Dami has been permanently mutated by the Lazarus Pit. The Lazarus Pit is inside of him. It IS him. Or maybe Normal NPC Damian is the Lazarus Pit.

When Normal Dami was two and he and Talia still lived with the LOA, there was an incident involving Damian drowning in the Lazarus Pit (à la Ra’s Al Ghul's Stellar Grand-Parenting Skills.) However, since he wasn’t dead, the Lazarus Pit devoured him, consumed him with violent pit madness, spat him back out, and Damian became this completely, unstoppably rage-filled toddler that can throw you over his shoulder and snap your neck. So Talia, terrified of what Ra’s would do with him, escaped to Gotham, found Bruce, begged for help, and they devised a plan.

Step 1: Raise Lazarus Damian as a completely normal kid.

Step 2: Take him to therapy. Maybe give him anger management classes. (Monitor his sugar intake. That couldn’t hurt.)

That was literally their whole plan. They had no other ideas ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Occasionally, he’d snap and kill someone in cold blood (whoopsie daisy) but his parents were an assassin and the world's greatest detective. No one’s gonna know.

Through some trial and error, they found out that abrupt adrenaline spikes were what triggered the madness. So they worked around it. They gave him calm, relaxing hobbies. They spoiled him with emotional support animals. They Never Raised Their Voices. He was homeschooled for a bit then introduced to university, but only AFTER they made sure Jon (the Indestructable Superboy) was his roommmate. (Yes, they told him. Yes, he is now part of the convoluted Keep Deadly Damian Relaxed Task Force. They’re also dating.) They got Damian a FitBit that tracked his heart rate so they could predict when his adrenaline spiked. They Life360’d his ass so fucking hard. Meanwhile, Damian just thought he had some kind of medical thing, none the wiser the entire time.

Long story short? “Chill Normal NPC Damian” Cannot Die. But he can Kill.

If he does “die” (the Lazarus Pit cannot die) then he goes into a murderous rage, kills everyone in sight, it wears off with the adrenaline, and he can’t remember what happened. This Damian is the Most Dangerous of the variants, and he doesn’t even know it because his parents decided that would be best.

And now the other Damians are scared of him, and he’s scared of himself, and no one knows why he's made of the Lazarus Pit, and they don’t know what to do with him, and they still don’t know how to get back, and some of them want to kill him, and some don't, but no one trusts him, including himself, and it becomes an all-out war over the fate of Damian.

Anyway, Normal Damian who's actually a Murderous Lazarus Spirit without even knowing it. Thank you :)