#here we are

[op-sys-chaos]

Alfred explains Tim’s birthday to Jason and Damian in a cold, unfeeling manner. As if reciting a long-ago memorized quote rather than recounting a horrific thing done to a child.

Bruce sits there and does nothing.

Jason yells at both of them for it.

Bruce does nothing.

Damian stands up and tells Bruce that Tim is right and Bruce should have stopped Damian from trying to murder Tim. Damian didn’t know better then, but he does now and he wishes Bruce had taught him sooner.

Bruce does nothing.

Jason and Damian lock eyes and nod. Then they leave together. They go to a restaurant - not the Thai one, but one across the street, and they sit in the window where Tim and Dick can see them. Jason and Damian take a selfie, caption it “fuck Bruce Wayne,” and send it to the group chat. When Cass, who missed this whole event, expresses confusion, Jason replies “Turns out B fucked us over more than we realized. He hurt Tim deeply. And Damian too. Tim via some REAL fucked bullshit, and Damian by not teaching him not to kill fast enough.”

Damian adds “I have regretted trying to kill Tim since the moment I saw the harm in it. I am upset at Father for refusing to stop me sooner. Tim has far more right to be upset about it than me, though.”

Dick pulls out his phone and reads the messages, turning to the boys across the street and giving them a small smile. Tim reads it too, but his expression remains blank.

Babs texts back a minute later, saying “hacked the manor cameras and watched what happened. Jason, good on you for screaming at Bruce. You should’ve been far meaner about it, though. That was fucked UP of them to do it Tim.”

Tim’s phone alone pings with a direct text a moment later, giving him the link to Jason’s scream fest and telling him “next time Bruce pulls something like that I’m forcing my dad to adopt you instead of letting Bruce keep you.”

Bruce remains silent in the group chat too.

Jason and Damian are furiously typing. Tim glances at them across the street and sees it, and wonders what they’re typing. He finds out when, half an hour later, the most beautifully written apologies he’s ever seen arrive in his text inbox. Tim analyzes the messages; the two clearly asked for help from Dinah on how to make the apology sincere because they didn’t know how to say it. They even mention that they never said it before because they didn’t know how, and they would’ve tried if they realized how bad Tim was hurting about it. Jason says he was still calling Tim “replacement” as a joke at this point, and thought Tim knew. That he’ll stop now. Damian says the same about the casual insults; he didn’t know how else to act but sees how it’s wrong and will work harder on stopping.

Tim isn’t ready to forgive them. He tells Dick as much, and Dick nods. “I get it,” he tells Tim. And realizing that the time is right to speak up, he finally apologizes for the “giving away Robin” incident. He tells Tim the truth; it was Alfred. He didn’t know how to say it before now, not wanting to shatter his brother’s view of their pseudo grandfather. But now? Now he knows he can say it. And he does. And still, even though it’s not on him, Dick apologizes.

Tim forgives Dick a lot faster.

Bruce still is silent in the group chat.

The meal ends, and Dick pays for him and Tim’s food. Then, Tim walks across the street and walks up to the hostess stand. He doesn’t speak to his brothers, but he hands over his card and asks to pick up their tab.

It’s not forgiveness. Not by a long shot. But it’s a start.

—

The bats, besides Batman, don’t go out that night. They don’t even return to the manor.

Bruce Wayne goes out to work the next day and Alfred goes out to get groceries. They come home to find themselves locked out with a note on the door that says “no jerks allowed” in purple crayon.

Bruce nods and heads for a safe house instead, Alfred in tow. The two sit down and brainstorm. Within two hours, a car catalogue arrives at the manor, with a handwritten note that says “what we should’ve given you for your sixteenth birthday. Pick any one you want, if you want.”

Tim burns it and sends Bruce a video of it burning.

Too little, too late.

—

Jason comes up to Tim the next morning with a handwritten note. He gives it to him. It says “IOU literally any favor you ever want, as long as it’s not doing the dishes”

Tim laughs and pockets it. He uses it an hour later to get Jason to come and get him the remote from two feet away, even though Jason was across the house. Jason does it. Tim smiles. Jason passed his test. Jason smiles. Tim took the step and was willing to ask.

Damian gives Tim a painting that evening. He’d been working on it for months now, but finished it in a rush that day because it was needed now, not on Tim’s birthday. It’s a portrait of Tim and his team, smiling and laughing. Tim hangs it on the wall in his room with a smile.

That evening, since Alfred is still banished, Steph and Jason cook. Damian and Jason eat at the kitchen counter and serve the other three at the table. After a minute, Tim walks in, grabs their plates silently, and puts them at the end of the table. Not their normal spots, not across from him. But at the table nonetheless. It’s a start.

The only bats on patrol that night are Batman and Spoiler. Gotham newspapers can’t stop reporting on Batman being covered in purple glitter the next day. People keep asking what he did, especially since some reported hearing Spoiler shout “Justice! For Gotham!” as she pelted him with glitter bombs.

Cass returns from her away mission the next day. She breaks into Bruce’s safe house, says “I’m disappointed in you,” and leaves before he can say anything. She tries very hard not to laugh at the glitter still clinging to him as she does it. She comes home, gives Tim a massive hug, and refuses to leave his side for the rest of the day. She also hands him a small journal she’d written. She’d kept observations of when her siblings were having a hard time, and she’s marked instances showing how guilty Jason and Damian were feeling around Tim.

Knowing the apologies were sincere, Tim’s leaning more towards forgiveness. He’s not there yet. Not by a long shot. But he is more sure that they’re genuinely remorseful.

—

Tim goes on a mission with his team two days later. Kon mentions how Jason reached out to him to ask for advice in apologizing to Tim. Not realizing Jason had asked more than just Dinah, Tim smiles. At that, Kon also mentions that Jon said Damian asked him for help too. Knowing how hard asking for help is for Damian, Tim’s soft smile widens further. The others ask what’s up, and Tim tells his team.

Bart hears about the birthday thing and makes Tim a promise. If time travel shenanigans ever happen again, Tim can call Bart and ask him to verify them, and Bart will drop everything to check with the Speed Force. Tim appreciates it, and promises to call.

Cassie promises to punch Bruce the next time she sees him. Tim appreciates the thought but asks her not to.

Bruce receives a call the next day. Superman, Wonder Woman, and Flash have proposed a motion to put Batman on Justice League probation. If he cannot get his act together, he cannot be a league member.

Bruce protests the probation. He sends a message asking to be reinstated as a full member, saying this is a misunderstanding.

Black Canary calls him and verbally rips into him for THIS being the thing that gets him off his ass.

After she hangs up, she puts forward a motion to have other league members take over Batman’s duties training the Gotham crew. They all agree, and Batman is removed as a mentor and emergency contact on League files.

Bruce calls to protest this too, even harder now. The league take turns yelling at him, having heard from their protégés about what happened this week in Gotham. He doesn’t know how to respond. So he doesn’t.

Dick gets assigned Superman as a mentor. Jason is assigned Wonder Woman as a mentor, to his delight. Cass gets Green Arrow to learn how to do distance fighting rather than just her short-range expertise. Tim is assigned to Flash because of his detective work pairing well with CSI work, which he’s okay with.

Damian, meanwhile, is assigned to Black Canary, who offers to train him in social situations rather than combat. He accepts enthusiastically after hearing her plan, telling her that he wishes someone had taught him sooner, saying how maybe he never would’ve lost his brother Tim’s love and trust if he’d had these lessons. He would have considered Tim a brother far sooner too. Tim, who Damian doesn’t realize is in earshot, beams. Damian considers him a brother? He’s never said that to him or around him before.

Their emergency contacts are all each other.

The League doesn’t tell Bruce this, but his reinstatement depends on one thing and one thing only. Forgiveness from his children.

Every. Last. One of them.

—

Soon, Bruce is allowed back into the manor, but none of the kids stay there. They decided they can’t keep him out of the house, but they don’t have to stay there. They also take all of their stuff out of the batcave, relocating it to Tim’s safe house (with his permission).

Alfred, a week after Bruce’s banishment from the League and the day after he returns to the house, arrives at Tim’s doorstep with a box of cookies and an apology. A good, sincere apology.

Tim doesn’t forgive Alfred. But he does accept the cookies. And he does let Alfred drop by to hand over homemade dinners every once in a while.

—

A gala rolls around. Everyone notices that none of Bruce’s kids are there. He claims they’re all busy.

That excuse only works twice before people start asking questions.

At the third gala, Bruce shrugs and says nothing at all, brushing past the question. His kids have all been seen in public, just not with him, so rumors start to fly.

Dick, with his sibling’s permission, goes to a newspaper and gives an interview. He tells the paper that his siblings are all mad at Bruce over family drama and refuse to go to galas until it’s sorted because they didn’t want to harm Bruce’s public image. He’s still a good guy and the charity work he does is still important, Dick says. Bruce just needs to learn how to give proper apologies when he makes mistakes, especially big ones, and all of his kids are trying to teach him that lesson, hence them staying away from galas.

News spreads like wildfire. The city still loves Bruce, of course. But they’re all aware that his parenting skills leave something to be desired. They start talking about the importance of mental health and teaching kids, especially boys, about vulnerability.

Bruce is proud of his city.

But he still hasn’t spoken to his kids.

—

Jason and Damian have gone above and beyond for Tim recently. Being the brothers he always wished they’d be to him. He wishes he’d spoken up sooner. And they tell him that they wish they’d gotten the kick in the pants they’d needed to get their shit together sooner too.

Slowly but surely, he forgives them.

—

Alfred is still on thin ice, but whenever Bruce is out of town, the family will go over to have a nice, Alfred-cooked meal.

—

It’s been three months since Tim spoke up for himself. Bruce still hasn’t said a word to his kids. He’s tried to send Tim gifts occasionally. Tim burns the letters and donates the gifts to charity.

Jason, Damian, Dick, and Cass refuse to speak to Bruce. On patrol, they steer clear of him. Babs warns Tim in comms if Batman is approaching so he can leave if he wants. He always does. The only time they’ve helped him is when he was about to die. Jason stepped in and killed all of the bad guys. He later told Tim that he made sure he was the one to save Bruce because he knew Bruce hated Jason’s methods. Tim cackled at that.

Bruce doesn’t go off the deep end like he did after Jason’s death. He has learned that lesson, after all. But he’s not as efficient alone, especially since Babs won’t help him anymore either unless it’s life or death. He can’t help but miss his gaggle of kids. In trying to keep part of his family close, Bruce lost all of his kids in the process. All because he never learned how to say “I’m sorry.”

—

Six months have passed since Tim spoke up. Everyone in the family is closer. Except for Bruce. He’s still not on the League roster, and they’re doing fine without him; any time they’ve needed him, they call his kids instead. They don’t like involving kids but refuse to let him return for his kids’ sake. He keeps trying to get them ti let him come back. They keep telling him to put that energy towards fixing shit with his kids.

J’onn eventually gets sick of it. He knows from seeing Bruce’s mind how much the man regrets it but also sees how much Bruce struggles with remorse. So he gets Clark to drag Bruce to the Kents. They spend a week teaching him how to parent, to apologize, to own up to his mistakes.

Meanwhile, J’onn shows the Batkids how Bruce feels. Tim isn’t ready to forgive Bruce. Damian is for his grievance with Bruce, because he knows that Bruce couldn’t teach him what he didn’t know how to teach. But he still wishes Bruce had recognized it and gotten help teaching it. But Damian holds out on forgiving Bruce until Tim’s ready for it.

After a week with the Kents, they help him draft an apology. He can’t bring himself to say it. He mails it to Tim instead. Tim sends Bruce a video of him burning the letter, same as always.

Tim’s closer to ready to forgive Bruce. The letter was actually very sweet. But until Bruce can verbalize it, Tim won’t know he’s made enough mental progress to never pull that shit again. So he’s still holding out.

An apology without change is manipulation, after all.

That’s the breaking point for Bruce. He cries to Clark, saying how badly he fucked it up and crying about how much he misses his kids.

Clark lovingly tells him to get his shit together. Not to stop crying, mind you, but to let himself cry more. “Get your shit together and stop trying to hide from your emotions, Bruce,” he says. Bruce decides “fuck it” and asks Dinah for therapy.

—

After a month of therapy, he’s finally capable of it. He goes to Tim and offers a groveling apology. For everything, not just what Tim brought up. Bruce apologizes for his behavior after Jason’s death. He apologizes for letting- no, making Tim feel unsafe in his own home. He apologizes for all of it.

Tim tells Bruce he doesn’t forgive him, but this is a start. Bruce accepts that answer with grace, telling Tim he’ll keep trying to make up for it. That helps Tim forgive him a bit more.

At the next Wayne gala, Tim attends. Bruce nearly cries from joy when he sees Tim walk into the room. “Bruce finally learned how to apologize,” Tim tells the gala attendees who ask with a grin. “I went to therapy,” Bruce responds when people ask how he did it. Tim stays away from Bruce the whole night, but he’s there, and it’s a start. Bruce texts Tim to thank him for attending and for giving him another chance. He celebrates Tim’s appearance in his next therapy appointment. Dinah congratulates him, but there’s still more work to do. Bruce tells her he’s excited to do it. This is what he wants; what he needs.

Gotham’s mental health program gets a lot of funding from the Waynes and everyone starts getting invested in therapy, after people start learning how much it helped their beloved Bruce Wayne.

The following gala, all of Bruce’s kids (including Steph and Babs) are there. Bruce doesn’t even mind when Steph pranks him or Jason glares at him from across the room. They’re there.

—

Tim has forgiven his siblings; they’ve made an effort to make Tim feel like their brother, rather than their target.

Tim has forgiven Alfred; he’s continually apologized to Tim and insisted on helping Tim avoid Bruce until Bruce got his shit together.

Tim’s still working on forgiving Bruce. But the more the man goes to therapy, the more he sees what he did wrong, and the harder he works to fix it. Not just with Tim, but with all of them.

—

One year after Tim yelled at everyone, the family is whole again. They have a dinner with their old seating, and Tim is actually okay with it now. After all, those aren’t his attempted murderers anymore. Those boys have made constant effort to be Tim’s brothers, and they’ve earned that title.

Also, Bruce is allowed back on the JL, and insists on counseling for all of them. The JL agrees, seeing how it helped Batman.

Things may not be perfect. But no person ever doubts their place in the batfamily again, and no one harms another family member without instantly apologizing and making up for it.

They’re a family. Thanks to one little conversation.

"I'm angry at you" Tim forces out.

It's been a long time coming, the words that have been circling his mind for years. Rotting the back of his throat.

Jason is Bruce's son in a way that he will never be. It's just a simple fact.

Maybe he could have picked a different time maybe a family dinner wasn't the place, but he was the one that spent year's of his life having to dodge bullets and murder attempts. He had to spend month's in physical therapy after the tower.

The place he felt safe was ripped away because Jason who is traumatized he hasn't forgot that fact, decided to hunt him down and hurt him.

Maybe Robin isn't a child, but Tim Drake was.

He turns to Bruce who's face is of course blank he's the one who wants Jason here yet not an emotion in sight.

Turns back to look Jason in the eye the man who's sitting next to Damian sometimes he wonders if Alfred does it on purpose a way to remind Tim that his murderers will always have something he doesn't.

He will look him in the eye he will not falter today.

"I was a child, I should have never been the exception to your rule. Say what you will about Robin being something else but you didn't care about Robin you cared it was me"

Silence it's funny how comforting it can be.

"I should not have to sit at the same table as two of my attempted murderers and pretend that it's ok. You are both traumatized I understand that but it will never be an excuse for traumatizing me. I see the Red hood and Robin in my nightmares."

He turns to look at Dick who as always is to the right of him once again pointing to Alfred doing this seating on purpose.

"You are a hypocrite who has never shut up about drying but goes out his way to kill another Robin."

He sees Alfred step forward closer to Bruce he wonders what the point is will he say anything, not likely but why move he almost asks yet if he doesn't finish he never will.

"This was your home first it still is, but I have bled and given more than you will ever know to secure my place here. So Bruce I do not ever want to partnered with either one of them in the field. You or Dick are the only options. You will not argue with me this is me laying my boundaries which I am entitled to."

He stares at Alfred loosing the blank look to let some of the anger out. He wants him to know.

"You will also never again force me to sit at a dinner table across from them again. Whatever British Passive-Aggressive gesture this is. You have no right to do. I will never forgive you for my birthday."

Dick goes to interrupt he doesn't let him.

"Bruce and Alfred have my full permission to discuss the psychological torture they put me through as my birthday present. But from now on none of you get to treat me as if I am some replacement or placeholder. I am a person with feelings, I will not be treated like a doormat."

He makes eye contact with each of them Alfred, Bruce, Jason and Damian.

Before turning to Dick for the last part.

"You are the only person here who has never deliberately hurt me, your my brother and I love you. I want to spend more time with you and I am specifically requesting that you come with me when I leave this table. We can get dinner or hang out but I need you to leave with me."

----------

Bruce is speechless.

How did he do this, his child is sitting at his table trembling and he can't move.

His child who just spent ten minutes defending himself and he is doing nothing.

Dick interrupts what he can admit is a pity party.

"Your my brother, I will happily follow you to the ends of the earth and if we leave now we can go to the Thai place that you like."

He can't let them leave he has to say something.

Tell Tim that he loves him, that he can fix this that this isn't the end. That it matters but before he can there gone.

His boys leave.

His precious sons, one loyal to a fault and one hurt beyond measure and what did he do nothing.

What he always does nothing.

[bunnithechubs]

came all this way had to explain, direct from Domingo.

[bleepzip]

shooting star 🌟

[fallenangelkitten]

𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི

[polarsirens]

short rest

[iceeericeee]

Reblog if you think polyamorous people are valid

[critter-of-habit]

9 years late onto the Cartinelli train

[ato-dato]

I found my one and only gomens fanart from 2019 so it had to be redone. Naturally.

[theartingace]

Been working on some centaur clothes, exploring more options- especially for my much more clothing-focused Mountain Culture and Merchants And then for funzies DRESS-UP DOLL and way too much chatter!

First a couple Runner outfits - first the average casual harness most Runners would wear around home base, allows family members to rider comfortably at any time but more importantly the make and decorations are personal and declare group affiliations. Wearing no harness or at least a girthband basically says you are unridable or unaffiliated with a herd. Second image is an above-average armored battle harness- front end is plated for protection while charging, back end harness is all about additional contact points and stability for the rider to hook a foot in for their acrobatics.

Next, a comparison between Mountain robes and Merchant robes! The first, Mountain robes are heavy expertly woven rugs with lots of fiber decorations and fur and wool linings to keep comfy in their alpine homes- our model is quite a bit lankier than the usual Mountain folk so he gets less coverage but he'll stay cozy regardless. Second is the more svelt Merchant Trader robes! These are more light and loose linen fabrics, meant to block the sun in their more Mediterranean climate and more importantly- show wealth and status. Wrapped legs are common and almost entirely decorative.

And lastly: some assorted armors- this would be an EXTREMELY uncommon sight in my own headworld as the interactions between the metallurgy-rich eastern human kingdoms and the centaurs is usually pretty tense or business oriented at BEST and hostile to exploitative at worst so the chances of them crafting such large difficult pieces of fitted armor for any of them would be rare one-offs at most. But it's still fun to think about!

[amanitacurses]

Reach

[gramnel]

[mediumgayitalian]

“I’d pick you up at the airport.”

“What?”

“If we were normal. I would — have one of those signs, you know. When you came back from your adventures.”

“Oh.” Nico snorts. “I’m still fucking off all the time when we’re normal? And you’re not coming?”

“It is woven within your very soul to fuck off as you please,” says Will sagely. “You get antsy. You know, like a house cat.”

He laughs when Nico shoves him. Less when he loses his balance and rolls into a tree, but he crawls back, anyway, kicking Nico’s ankle as he lies back next to him, folding his hands over his ribs. Nico watches him for a moment, tracing the round edges of his knuckles, until Will’s smile begins to twitch with him knowing, and he looks hastily back to the sky. It’s embarrassing, Will’s snorting huff of amusement, but more than that it’s electrifying, zapping a trail down Nico’s spine and making him shiver.

He can feel the heat Will is always throwing off, blazing every centimetre from his shoulder to his heels, a hair’s breadth away, a millimetre of distance.

“What else would it look like?” He clears his throat. “Our, um. Our normal?”

Will hums. “New York, probably. Big-ass penthouse with your trust fund.”

“I’m a trust fund baby?!”

“Hey, Nico, how much does dish soap cost?”

Nico opens his mouth, and closes it again. Will’s snickers get louder. Is it considered bad etiquette to banish one’s significant annoyance to the Underworld? Only permanently, probably. If he only keeps him there for a couple weeks it should be find. A couple weeks would be appropriately humbling.

“And what do you contribute?” Nico asks, instead of answering. (Not because he doesn’t know. Obviously. Because he is dignified, that’s why.) “Your dimples and boyish charm?”

“Yes, obviously.”

Well.

“…Okay, fair.”

Will snickers triumphantly.

“You still a doctor?”

“Mhm.” Will shifts, mouth curled in amusement. “Paediatric in Mount Sinai. We live close, by the way. You said it’s cause it’s close to Central Park but really you like to hide my lunch in the mornings to have an excuse to come see me.”

“Sounds like you forget your shit a lot, actually.”

“That, too.”

He looks over and smiles at Nico and for a moment he is convinced, wholly genuinely and truly, that the sun that’s been hiding behind the clouds all day has finally peeked out, because he can actually feel his whole body warm, in that slow-rising, penetrating way; he can actually smell the surge of sunshine in the air, feel the red glow in the backs of his eyelids, taste the brightness of the light. Every one of his neurons sinks into his system, sighing, cells reacting to thousands of years of memory of the gentle warm of the Earth’s closest star.

But the sun is not shining, and there is only Will, and his too-big teeth brush against the bottom of his lip, and his dimples show, and his eyes crinkle, and he is more radiant in even his old stained camp shirt and fraying jean shorts than his father has ever been and could ever hope to be. A thousand planets could thrive under a hundred blazing stars and none could come close to him. He knows it, how those ancients felt, the drunken surety as they stood and challenged the gods, swore up and down that their beloveds outshone Venus, Diana, Juno; Will does, Will does, and Nico understands intimately the hubris in a way he scoffed at as a child, because the words bubble and boil and threaten bursting inside of him now. What claim have the Olympians? Over sunlight? Over beauty? Over Will?

“We’re happy?” he says instead, choking hoarsely over the veneer words, over the blocked desperation, truth. “In our normal, we’re happy?”

“Always,” Will whispers. He twists onto his knees, crawling the two inches over to press close, close, closely, hand gentle on Nico’s stomach when he tries to sit up, and presses his lips to Nico’s cheek, dry, twitching with his smile, shaking with his laughter. Nothing is funny, and he isn’t joking, but Nico can feel the giddiness bubbling up and out of him the way sadness flows out in tears; when Will is giddy he giggles, constantly, hiding it barely in his hands, and now he presses it into Nico’s skin, because he knows how Nico aches to hear it, how he watches him like he’s burning it into the ridges of his brain. “I am always happy with you, Niccolò.”

“I love you,” Nico says, fiercely, and it will never be enough, not in English, not in Italian, not in Greek, but he will try. “Te amo. Capiscimi? I love you, Will, I —”

“I know.” The tiny little vibrations of his laughter are — intoxicating; Nico is drunk, ascending. “I know, di Angelo. Sap. I love you, I know.”

He dissolved into giggles into the crook of Nico’s neck, and Nico is lying, still, facing the clouds, and he is warmed, and he is warmed, and he is warmed.

[onsomenewsht]

Helpless to the bass and faded light

About when she bribes you and you dance with her like a filled stadium isn't looking

》 Leah Williamson x Reader

》 words count: +1k

》 she took my arm / I don't know how it happened / we took the floor and she said

You don’t like football.

It’s quite a boring game if you stop to think about it for a moment. Two dozen and counting people running around a ball trying to kick it into a huge net.

Not something you look forward to sit through for almost two hours.

Despite your father’s best efforts, you being his only kid and his only hope to pass down his passion, the sport never managed to interest you long enough to care.

You even found yourself in the stands of your dad’s favourite club’s home more times than you’re able to remember, going beyond yourself and cheering when the other people around you did.

The things you do to make your parents proud.

How you managed to have the English captain wrapped around your finger, regardless of your well-known dislike for her biggest passion and purpose in life, is still a mystery for your families and friends.

“Pretty please, just this one”

“Oh, shut up!”, you hit her arm and push her off you, both still naked.

You can’t believe your girlfriend is actually trying to bribe you with sex, not even waiting for you to fully recover before asking to go to the game.

“No, you ruined the mood”, you state as the blonde tries to kiss you again.

The huge grin of her beautiful face is quite dangerous, she can win you over so easily and you both know it.

Leah rises off the bed to retrieve a warm cloth from the bathroom and a clean shirt from the closet. You accept her attention, she’s always caring when it comes to you, but you’re pretty sure the extra effort has a not-so-subtle second purpose.

“You can’t buy me so easily, Williamson”

She can.

“It’s a really important game, my love”

“For who?”

“For me?”, she tries as she slots herself under your open arm, a grin hidden between your neck and the pillow.

“I barely bear you playing”

“You love watching me play”

“I love you, period”

Leah knows how much you think the sport is boring, going way out of your comfort zone just to cheer her. She feels immensely supported when she finds your big smile in the stands, wrapped in one of her jerseys.

It’s not that difficult for you to sit and admire your girlfriend in her element, focusing more on her movements and attitude than paying attention to the actual game.

What you find quite annoying is enduring Arsenal’s men’s team.

The defender’s fingers on your side are slowly soothing you in a compromising position, too relaxed and smitten to keep denying her anything. You know she doesn’t need much more to lure you into her trap and, unfortunately for you, she’s perfectly aware too.

When the blonde’s lips find the particularly sensitive spot on the base of your neck, you’re doomed.

~

You’re glad your father is already dead or you’d have killed him as you take your seat in the Emirates Stadium, surrounded by the Gunners’ colours. Your girlfriend’s name on your back could be the final nail.

The things you do to make your lover happy.

“You know I love you, right?”

“You better never forget this”, you quip back.

The English captain has been looking forward to this game for weeks now, you couldn’t have been able to turn her down in spite of it all.

She doesn’t need to know though, you didn’t accept to spend one of your date nights watching the North West London derby for free.

“Maybe you will enjoy it at the end”

Nice try, you will not.

“You know, my dad was a West Ham supporter”

“Could have been worse”, she smiles at you, reaching for your hand.

Talking about your father is getting easier as time finally moves forward and your grief keeps changing its shape. Compared to the abyssal black hole it felt like the first year and a half, its progress.

Leah didn’t meet him, crushing in your life a couple of months after his passing, but she managed to find a space in your heart that keeps growing despite all your fears.

They could have hit so well, bonding over their shared passion for the sport and their never-ending determination to make you happy.

You told her some stories about him, mostly memories to make your girlfriend understand how stubborn and passionate he was about the thing he cared about.

The one thing you all have in common.

“Yeah, he used to gift me a West Ham jersey every year on Bobby Moore’s birthday”

Leah’s laugh managed to overcome the buzzing atmosphere of the stadium, making you feel like she was the reason all the people around you were cheering. You sure think so.

“He sounds like an incredible father”

“Football obsession aside, he was good”

When you turn to look at her, the blonde’s eyes are already on you and the smile on her face is enough to warm your heart.

~

The first goal coming within five minutes has you quite engaged in what’s happening on the pitch, you even drag your girlfriend in a kiss as you both rise from your seats to celebrate.

Your commitment declined quite easily after that, more entertained by Leah’s reactions than the actual game. You nod in amusement every time she tries to talk you through one of her analyses, placing a hand on her thigh to stop her from standing up every time the ball is somehow close to the box.

The second half is more eventual, at least that’s what you can understand by the excitement the defender and the people in the stands around you seem to radiate.

You’re not clueless, you’re perfectly aware a five-nil win against Chelsea is quite the result. You care enough to think you can’t wait to go home - Leah is always in the mood for a private celebration when her team triumphs, especially over another London club.

“Can we go now?”, you ask as soon as the referee whistles three times, declaring the end of your and the Blues’ torture.

Leah’s happiness is contagious, so you’re not mad when she drags you in her arms to join her cheers and enthusiastic dance. It takes you less than a second to indulge her, letting the blonde spin you around and matching her excitement.

When she dips you and seals the move with a kiss the laugh that rises out of you is genuine and loud.

At first, neither of you notice the stadium’s camera pointed in your direction, recording your little moment of pure bliss in each other’s arms.

Looking back at it, as all your friends sent you the viral video, you know Leah saw you two on the big screen and went along with her little cocky display of affection and excitement for the victory.

You’re sure your father could be laughing at it too, despite the colors you’re wearing.

fine.

[decaflondonfog]

you know what i’d like to see? i’d like to see Andrew realise what Neil’s duffle bag means to him. that he’s carried his entire life inside that bag for years. that, after all, they’re not that different — it’s not like Andrew got to take much from foster home to foster home.

i want Andrew to start buying random things for Neil. little things, big things, unimportant things. small trinkets that don’t mean much, except they mean that Neil’s whole life can’t be packed into a bag anymore. that he can’t just run in the middle of the night.

by the time Andrew graduates it would take a whole moving truck to ever put all of Neil’s belongings in. and they’re scattered too. Neil has stuff that is his — only his — not just at PSU, but at the house in Columbia, and at Andrew’s new place too.

so when Andrew graduates — through kisses and promises and badly-hidden sniffles — he gets rid of the old duffle, and replaces it with a beautiful leather holdall (something good enough for Neil) so that Neil can pack his stuff and come see him on weekends or during break.

and Neil can’t fit not even a tenth of his things in it, but that’s okay because this bag isn’t a tool to help him run and hide. but it fits just enough for him to come and see Andrew: for him to come home.

[furiosophie]