#mention of dissociation

[gummybugg]

find the word tag!

tagged by @digitalsatyr23 here! havent done this tag in a bit, but i have more writing now so its not so difficult to find new words :'D

rules: find the words in your writing and paste a sample here

my words to find: wrong, find, dream, and cloud

(Wasn't sure if this post warrents a content warning, but it does reference suicidal ideation, dissociation, and kidnapping, so be aware.)

...

WRONG

(from my dormant wip the mice come out at night - morgana's pov/diary entry)

I was supposed to have died that day, I found myself thinking. But this thought wasn't out of scorn or hatred for the times I had made since then, it was a matter of fact. I didn't get what I had been promised, yet this time I wasn't so sure what I had expected at the time. Morgana then and now were two cherries separated at the stem. Our concept of what we thought we needed mirrored, the reflection a jarring contrast. "You must have the wrong guy," I found myself saying, cutting through my rampant thoughts. I highly doubted there was anything Vincent could be capable of lying to us about. Even if he decided to tell the others and not me, I was at least 99% certain Juniper would have spilled it by now.

FIND

(from my wip crater city - melony's pov)

Darcy looked down at his hands and the tears that fell into them. "I'm crying." He said, as if baffled by the phenomenon. His voice grew more distant, attempting to fade seamlessly into the background noise. "Look what you've made me do." "Darcy..." I began. "It feels warm and achy. But something is there. It's times like these that make me feel real. Feel human." "Darcy, you are human." "At this moment, I am. In the next few seconds, I won't be anymore. I hate it when emotions fade out of existence..." He sat at my desk with his face buried in his hands. It was customary for when his "mind checked out," as he used to say. "Your emotions don't go away. They're just hiding." He looked up at me with hollow eyes and a slack jaw. But they weren’t hollow because they were empty; they were hollow because they had yet to return. "They're just playing a game of hide and seek.” He grunted in agitated confusion. I sighed, picking up where I left off in the clutter. “Right now, sadness is 'it' and it's having a hard time finding the others. Hmm, I'd wager that anger is hiding in a prickly blackberry bush. Fear isn't always smart, so it's hiding clear-as-day behind a tree. Happiness is relaxing way up high in a tree..." I stood on my toes to prop the last textbook at the top of the shelf. The ridiculous analogy made Darcy chuckle. "It seems it found laughter first," I stuck out my tongue. Darcy came over to help, except my balance was a bit off and the book may have accidentally slipped from my fingers. It knocked him on the head before hitting the floor with a deafening belly flop. Instead of complaining about his head, his eyes lingered on the fallen book for a few extra seconds.

DREAM

Uhhhh none i think

CLOUD

(from my wip crater city - blair's pov)

I slapped the dented trunk of the sedan shut. The trunk was a briefcase from the show Steal or No Steal, and I was the pretty lady in red. But the look on Elijah’s face told me he was not fully convinced that this was the deal of a lifetime. He was starting to get on my nerves. He didn't know how to appreciate an offer of such high demand. It was honestly insulting. However, my TV show escapade was short-lived once I realized that he wasn’t going to let up. He was really upset, wasn't he? I could see it in his vacant stare: his soul had left his body. He took a step back, hands hovering cluelessly at his sides. “Uh, Elijah? What’s wrong, man?” I leaned against the creaky trunk, which snapped further shut, almost forfeiting my balance. It really needed more bungee cords, come to think if it. “This…this isn’t even one of the guys that harassed me.” “Come again?” Elijah was such a joker. “Blair…” The abstraction of my friend clutched my shoulders, causing the damp fabric to press into my skin. His hollow eyes sat constricted in their sockets, white about to burst in urgency. “It’s just some guy with green hair…” “Yeah, and…?” I raised a brow. Of course, he had green hair. What was he going on about? I saw a man with the same colored hair as one of the guys Elijah described, then I…wait, where did I even find this guy? I don’t even remember his face. And it would really be embarrassing to double-check by popping open the trunk. Had I really…? I searched the swirling green clouds for an answer. Then Elijah called my name and my wandering eyes found their way back to his.

...

gently tagging @asterhaze @ditzybitzyspider @forthesanityofsome @frostedlemonwriter @new-royston-cursebreakers and anyone else

rules: find the words in your writing and paste a sample here

your words to find: pull, back, away, and whenever

...

crater city mayhem taglist (dm to be added/removed): @writeouswriter @lyra-brie @digitalsatyr23 @talesfromtheunknowable

[stargirlanthem]

every day, i feel less and less real ✶⋆.˚

[howlsofbloodhounds]

this may sound a little strange but when it comes to the utmv fandom and in universe meta aware characters interacting with ones who aren’t aware, I like to approach it more from like a religious or spiritual belief standpoint. so like, to others, characters like killer and ink seem either really religious or spiritual (ink) or really superstitious/religious/indoctrinated (killer). ink believes in creators, but to killer, those creators are actually more like players.

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #108 Part 1

He remembered going to bed in his own bed last night. His own bed in his own room. This wasn’t his room, his bed, or even his pajamas. The body he was in didn’t feel quite right either, almost like it somehow knew he wasn’t supposed to be in it. Part of him wondered if he was dreaming but he was way too self aware for this to be a dream. 

This room didn’t look like any of his brother's rooms either. It had a bunch of space themed trinkets, glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, and NASA posters on the walls. None of his brothers were into space as far as he knew so this had to be a strangers room. He wondered for a moment if he was kidnapped or something, but that didn’t sound quite right either. He was in a stranger's body so he must be in this person’s room. He had to figure out exactly what was going on. 

Just as he was considering his options the phone by the table side started ringing. Damian didn’t really know where the tune came from but it sounded catchy. He looked at the caller ID and while the phone didn’t recognize the number Damian did. It was his own, hopefully he’d be able to get some answers. 

“Hello?” He answered.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about all of this. My parents are inventors and one of their inventions backfired big time. I’m Danny” The voice on the other line was his own, a little jarring sure but it to be expected, if he was in someone’s body there was a good chance they were in his body. “My name’s Damian, Inventions? This is quite the backfire. I hope you have a plan to switch us back.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, I’ve got a couple friends looking into it, they’ll be on their way in a bit to help with all of this.” 

Damian was starting to get irritated a little at how this was going. Bringing outside ‘help’ into the situation just seemed more like a distraction from whatever ‘Danny’ had planned for Gotham.

“Right, Damian, so right now you're in my body and I’m in your’s… so, my parents' invention was only supposed to strengthen the soulmate pull, but because of my weird biology. We switched bodies instead.” Damian didn’t have word’s, the whole story sounded ludicrous. But at the same time, Damian couldn’t help but believe it was true.

The weird things about the body he was in, helped convince him and then, suddenly a thought occurred to him. Hesitantly he lifted his other hand up to his neck to check his pulse.

It was unusually slow, “Why’s your pulse so slow?” he couldn’t help but ask. He didn’t want to admit it but he was starting to freak out a little. 

“Like I said, I’ve got weird biology. I’ll explain, but it isn’t a pretty story. I don’t really want to explain all of this but since you're in my body, you need to know so you can keep my parents from finding out. Deal?”

Having weird biology still didn’t quite explain things but hopefully a few things didn’t quite make sense, “You said your parent’s were researching soulmates? Why.”

“Alright, I’ll give you this one but seriously you’ve got to promise to keep my parent’s from finding out about things. They were a little upset that I haven’t found mine yet, my sister found hers so they were excited for me to find mine. Long story short, bad things tend to happen when my parents get excited.”

So from the sound of things Danny thought they were soulmates. That might have been true but there wasn’t a good way for them to prove anything at the moment. For now it would probably be better to go along with Danny’s plan. He didn’t like it but he could probably get a lot of information out of Danny’s friends if he played along. “Alright I agree to not intentionally reveal anything to your parents.”

“Work’s for me. What do you know about ghosts?”

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

It’s turning out to be a bad day when Jason finds himself stabbed during a drug bust.

It’s turning out to be a very bad day when he starts to feel woozy (seriously, what the hell? It was just a little stabbing) and promptly collapses.

It’s turning out to be a monumentally bad day when the batfamily drop in on his drug bust.

And then the night takes a hard nose dive into catastrophically bad, because whatever toxin that blade was laced with? It’s making his heartbeat slow down into near flatline, paralyzing Jason in the process.

And now he’s stuck listening to his family lose it completely upon finding his “dead” body.

… shit.

[theresidentfullmoon]

POV: You're a system.

[mewobrute]

i got two mini comics with Killer "talking" to his other stages, its just angst.

Heres the first one

(hes talking about Nightmare in the first panel btw.)

heres the second one

heart soul = stage 1. circle soul = stage 2, and big crazy circle soul/the red one = stage 3. for anyone wondering.

[anti-endo-pillow-fort]

hey chat so...

uhh...

is it possible for an alter that like, for a long time you thought was gone for good and forever, can just like...sorta come back??? if someone could reblog this with an answer id appreciate it

[thecircularsystem]

I’m curious what language people use as a default for systems whose preferred terminology isn’t known.

I think I’m curious because I’ve tried to set up defaults in the past based on stuff like origins — but that was just largely useless. I personally default to parts language now, simply because that’s what I use myself, and it helps me. I want to show it and use it more.

[69constellationsinatrenchcoat]

Lying to keep your system safe.

I've lied to multiple agencies stating we have OSDD rather than DID.

Our local support agents, especially financial ones, tend to label DID as clinically insane and unsafe; we say we have DID and people often make up their minds based on inaccurate and outdated stereotypes. We don't waste our breath advocating for ourselves when we will only meet someone once or twice and opinion is already set in stone based on a three letter acronym.

Our psychologist encourages us to do so. He's written letters on my behalf with the same set of information/symptoms/reccomendations, but saying OSDD & PTSD rather than DID & PTSD. The slight seperation in social perception between 'this person has multiple personalities' and 'this person has periods of disassociation and these other symptoms' is often enough to prevent stigma filled responses.

Other situations where lying or changing details may be wise

If a stranger is being overly pushy regarding your system information especially if they are targeting vulnerable alters.

Online - often avoiding posting full alter counts or details that may trigger others (positive or negative) to front is wise, especially on public forums like Reddit and Tumblr

As many of you know, we use psyudeonums to avoid any links being drawn between our online presence and our private life. Singlets use psyudeonums, as can systems/individual alters.

Stating system origin and syscourse stances can, and unfortunately often, leads to harassment and unfair treatment from all sides of the conversation. Sometimes it's safer not to state it.

If someone is making you uncomfortable with questions; you are well within your right to block them. Minors especially, if your gut says no, listen.

You don't owe the world your system's information, and omitting the truth can be the safest way to keep that private. Hell, we can count on a hand how many people know we are a system in our personal life.- let alone anything more detailed.

In an ideal world, no system would have to do that.

We aren't in an ideal world.

So I leave you with this: sometimes it's okay to lie or omit the truth to keep your system safe. Especially in places where stigma runs rampant or you don't know who you're speaking with very well. Just, do me a solid and try not to lie to your psychs, 'kay?

Sending love and hugs,

System dad, Kyle 💜

[system404singletnotfound]

Please tell me we’re not the only system who deals with this ;-;

-Miley

[syscultureis]

Plural Culture (traumatized in general) is never knowing how to properly add trigger warnings because you've become so desensitized to everything that you don't know what's seen as needed, or what's doing too much

And half the time you don't even know how to tag it any way because "can I just put general tw? Do I need to specify which type of abuse is occuring? Is what's being said even clear/graphic/whatever enough for people to realize unless I add the tw? Would adding the tw make it worse??"

And then regardless of all that you still end up posting something that's apparently massively triggering, with no warning, because you thought it was just normal life stuff and then you feel bad about it but all you can actually do is just add the needed tws and apologize

*this is not an apology post, apologies from us will be much more clear if they're needed, this has not happened recently, but it's something that's been on our mind a lot

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Thing about me is I will come across a song that makes me think of killer that’s probably intended to be about sex but find a way to twist it into dissociation and fawn response and appearing to enjoy it as others tear you apart and watch you brutally die and be attacked for their own curiosity and entertainment and praise you and love you for it

[anti-endo-help]

☆ — friendly(/gen) reminder time ...

friendly reminder that the owner of this blog is bodily only 14 years old!! 😭 this reminder goes for pro-endos and anti-endos alike, because i feel like both sides have forgotten they're interacting with a very young minor. i have not even gone into high school yet, i am not fit to deal with: death threats, harassment, paranoia inducing asks or messages, diagnosing people, or helping you figure out your trauma/what kind of trauma you have. i am a child.

i will re-clarify that i do not mind things like venting, but please do not send any of the above into my inbox. p.s please keep asks about vents about specifically ramcoa trauma to a minimum... i apologize for the inconvenience, but i am a part of a ramcoa system, and we aren't good at helping or providing comfort when it comes to the topic. thank you all!! have a great day!!

[ID: STOP! this blog is a strictly anti-endo space! pro-endos and endo neutrals, shoo! shoo shoo!]

[thattheater-kid]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it is okay to grieve dormancy. Dormancy is normal and sometimes healthy, it should be treated as normal and possibly even healthy, and it’s not the same as death, however it is okay to grieve.

It’s like if a friend moved far away, and you don’t know when you’ll see them again. It’s a normal part of life, sometimes it just happens, sometimes it has to happen, but you’ll still feel pain and grief from it, and that’s okay. You experienced a loss. It may not be permanent, but it’s still a loss, and grief is normal.

[lemony-ink]

A very validating fact I learned recently is that you aren't being dramatic/faking when you unmask about your symptoms

If you're used to masking normally, it absolutely carries over to masking your physical ailments

Learning to unmask with your "invisible" disabilities is extremely difficult due in large part to the self fakeclaiming / denial