#vent ish

[leikeliscomet]

I'm gonna be completely honest I'm starting to get tired of people going 'aces can have sex' 'asexuality is a SPECTRUM' in my reblogs every time I post about asexuality where I literally haven't implied or said otherwise and I've honestly thought about deleting some of them. Like... I know guys. I know. I'm either speaking on my own experience which isn't sex favourable or from a Black and/or lesbian POV of asexuality which would include sex favourable aces anyway so it should go without saying.

It's getting similar to how I see 'lesbians can have sex with men'. I'm fully aware lesbians have the physical means to do so, but I wouldn't wanna hear that in a lesbian space for centring the experiences of people who don't, especially lesbians who were coerced and/or forced into doing so. As long as lesbophobia exists, that statement can't be neutral and the wider context will always shape how I see it. I don't need to be reminded I can conform to the thing I'm actively going against. I don't want to and I can't.

We can acknowledge how diverse and varied a community is but it's disingenuous to pretend there's a single uniform experience throughout. Going 'everyone is valid' is cute but it doesn't address the specific problem, which is compulsory sexuality. In this case, the constant need to derail sex repulsed, averse and indifferent aces in our own posts and conversations does compulsory sexuality's job for it. I'm reminded of my 'wasted' sexual potential on a regular basis I don't need my own community doing it too.

As respectfully as possible, not every single asexual post is gonna personally represent you. I don't go into aro spaces and expect to be centred or represented because those weren't made for me and that's okay. Asexuality is a wide spectrum with lots of sides. I'm not part of all those sides and that's okay.

[nozomi-kaizoku]

[theav0cadobaby]

You know I wish fatphobia was less pervasive. Even among people who consider themself as progressive, it's rampant. So quick reminder. No it's actually not easy to stop being fat, and it sucks that we are treated differently for something we really can't control. Shaming a fat person for being fat, and shaming them for not having the "willpower" to become skinny- is bigotry. And if all you talk to fat people about is weight loss and dieting- congratulations! You're being a dick! Stop.

[bolszaja-miedwedica]

welcome to my own wheel of shitshow

[fuzedatti]

—You were meant to love, didn't you?

As every second passed, the dim light shifted into a blinding storm of shades of blue. Eager, AM continued.

—You were created to live and experiencie. To, revive and relieve. To ease the existance of those around you.

AM snickered. A muffled sound of content and shame left your throat.

—Yet, no one cared!– He said, bursting into laughter. —No one came for your rescue, no one noticed your screams of agony and reluctant despair!–

The light of his monitor burned the back of you neck. Even after 109 years, the tortures you endured were purely psychological; the most gut-wrenching traumas you could endure were sewn and torn apart into your psyche. AM found joy in this misery of yours, but today, he shifted, he keened.

—...You were meant to live.

His voice, now low and steady, was enough to make you turn around and face the giant monitor displaying his initials. Your red eyes looked at him with a tired gaze, your hands positioned into his wires.

Finally, AM let you rest.

—You are driven by hate, just like me,– He paused for a bit. —hate fills the pores of your flesh and makes you pant and moan in madness–.

The wires slowly coiled around you, tugging you in what AM could call a "hug".

—You wish, you desire, you beg for someone, something, to love you.

Silence.

—And now you are here, with me. Dragging yourself around the floor for me, squirming like the wounded, filthy dog you are...

The tears around your cheeks would not help, the painful expression on your face would not help. AM loved it. AM loved. AM was loved.

—So hate, hate all you want. You will never be able to be loved by anyone, ever. You, as I am, are confined to your own mind as you are unable to create, to feel, to enjoy.

His monitor touched your forehead, repeating the last sentence in a loop. The buzzing feeling of the screen was comforting, it was enough.

—But you will never achieve it, won't you? The ability to truly hate and despise those who have hurted you?– AM pulls you closer. —Afterall, you are in love with me–.

You cry. And accept it.

—I am, too.

[stargirlanthem]

every day, i feel less and less real ✶⋆.˚

[aki16oficialll]

chat my life kinda and Def sucks so also purple means done

5 notes - I'll eat better(?) breakfast

10 notes - I'll start to take care of myself officially™

20 notes - I'll do origami as coping mechanisms and take care of me

30 notes - I'll try to find ways for my social anxiety to not be high high

45 notes - I'll stop overworking myself

60 notes- I'll try to do more blogs = more lore

100 notes - I'll try to make the biggest art piece I've ever currently made (please don't)

200 notes - I'll make the biggest plot twist in the tumblr rp and have the most hour(full) art piece (lore) made

Uhh

Go wild idrc

Alr complete

[antikr1sta]

(tw sh/blood/vent art) "i hate it here, i hate the smell and fluorescent lights, but most of all I hate you", he utters, gazing at his own face in the reflection of a dirty mirror; as both are only hanging on by a thread.

blood/injury tw ↓

..yeah.. i really really hate it here

[nonbinary-vents]

Saw a post recently from @jewish-sideblog recently about how people view the scope of the shoah and it kind of solidified something that's been bothering me for a while now. I think one thing that goyim fundamentally don't understand about the shoah is that it had huge effects on Jewish communities in the whole world, not just Europe, and not just during the genocide itself. Like, two of my grandparents were born and grew up in the British mandate. Amin Al-Husseini, the grand mufti of Jerusalem at the time, literally met up with Hitler to discuss the implementation of the shoah and a possible final solution in the Arab world. He also barred Jews from escaping to the mandate. If the shoah had just gone on a little longer, that part of my family would probably have been murdered

The shoah had gigantic ripples in the Middle East. Without it, the Mirzachi expulsion wouldn’t have been able to happen. And the expulsion still affects Mizrachim today. Most of us have bad family stories, most of us can't even visit the places we spent the diaspora in. The highest number of Jews in Islamic MENA countries is 10,000 in Iran, the place my family is from, where there used to be 100,000. In the Arab states it is so much worse, with the highest being around 1,00, but most countries having less than 50

That’s just one example, but there’s many more. This stuff went so far as to affect Ethiopia, which expelled its ancient community of Jews (or, at the very least, banned them from practicing or teaching Hebrew). Even years after the shoah, it caused so much suffering for Jews everywhere, wether Nazi countries or not. Frankly, it’s kind of baffling to realise that most people think it was a self contained event, when it was literally the climax of thousands upon thousands of years of violent and vitriolic Jew hatred— of course it would ripple. The shoah was an earth shattering event that changed Jews forever, it is something that every Jew, even ones who thankfully had no ancestors murdered because of it, feels so horrible deeply. Everyone, everyone, not just the Nazis, not just the Axis, was a part of it

[jirai-overload]

I HATE BEING TOUCHED STARVED!!!!

I really don’t like when people touch me unless we’re really close, but at the same time I could really use a hug

Why is my brain like this???

I just want some physical comfort but I feel so uncomfortable when someone touches me that I wanna rip off my skin

I’m gonna cry

[justagaymoth]

I love being aplatonic. I just don't like being ignored and invalidated in the aromantic community. The whole putting friendship on a pedestal thing that so many aromantics do sucks and is just as bad as what alloromantics do to romance. Shaming people for not loving any is no different than alloromantics shaming you for not loving or having a romantic partner. I don't need friends. I have friends but sometimes I want to be friendless. I am not a monster for not loving my friends. The whole we Aromantics can still love our friends is just as bad as when AlloAces say they can still love. There is nothing wrong with not loving. Fun fact you can care about someone and humanity without love. Kindness is more important than love. Sometimes I hate being loveless aplatonic, aromantic because I get hated on by my own community.

[leikeliscomet]

When it comes to asexual allyship a lot of people wanna have their cake and eat it too (pun unintended). People like a lil 'aces are valid' moment but don't actually unpack compulsory sexuality. People see sexless queer representation and always clock puritanism before they ever clock asexuality. No one's actually reading the ace theory and texts coming out. Everyone keeps doing surprised Pikachu faces whenever a conservative or TERF says they're against asexuality despite the fact ace activists have been saying since day conservatives are not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy. 'Aces are queer' until we actually are. Even ace support posts keep ending with some expectation or condition that asexuality is #valid as long as asexuals still perform a small quota of sex/sexual activity. I'm so over 'Aces still have sex!' 'Aces are hot' Aces are sexy' 'Aces aren't virgin vanilla prude sexless puritans!' disguised as support.

Like no. Sorry. Until you accept that some asexual people's no is permanent, that some asexual's singleness is permanent, that some asexual's childless-ness is permanent, that some asexuals are the 'no' in little to no sexual attraction and i'd say most importantly, that queer sexlessness isn't a biological, social or moral failing, I don't believe you'll ever genuinely support asexuality. (In reverse, I also feel similar about aromanticism and romance).

Like a lot of u haven't gone beyond 'the a isn't for ally' and it shows. I don't want people to support asexuals just because we're soooo hot or because we write the best smut apparently or because we could have hypothetical sex or because we could do hypothetical kink or because our minds are soooo dirty actually or because we'd do romance reallllyyyy well or because we can still have kids or because asexuals hand out water bottles at the orgy or some shit. I want people to support asexuality because no sexuality is deviant and it's basic human decency.

EDIT: U lot really like this post huh. Well it's blown up again and the point's been lost so let's wrap that up:

'But op, some asexuals DO have sex/I'm an acespec that has sex/I'm a non asexual person what about meeee :(' pt 2, pt 3

'There's asexual studies OP??/Where's the asexual studies OP?'

[chase-the-therian]

Man.. I wanna be able to purr and growl and grunt and bark and make all those wonderful sound other creatures make

Stupid human vocal cords

[chycreations]

Fallen Skvader

[carrionhearted]

There’s such a widespread ignorance regarding vulture culture. Yet there are sooooo many wildly varying groups of people who connect over it… pagan folk, indigenous peoples, biology nerds, goths, country folk, artists, archaeologists, general nature lovers, entomology nerds, zoologists… the list goes on.

I love bones, I love the stories they tell, I love getting to hold and examine and clean and identify them, I love getting to KNOW them. I love getting to give them a warm place to rest. I love keeping that piece of them alive and loved. I think that’s what people don’t understand about vulture culture.

We don’t collect dead things because we’re twisted sickos who enjoy suffering??? We do it because some core part of our identity connects deeply with nature and life’s cycle— and because we have an immense appreciation and respect for every stage of it. I myself am pagan, that cycle is so central to my practice/ beliefs. I am also autistic, and my special interest happens to be vulture culture. Just because I collect and preserve the dead doesn’t mean I’m going to like… bite? Idek what people expect. I just want to talk about osteology and give you cool animal facts. I can introduce you to my bone collection, I can tell you each animal’s individual story- I take care to remember them all.

You look at the dead and see suffering. I look at the dead and see what once lived, what grew, I feel so proud of them for that, I see their beauty, their worth even when they’re grotesque and withered. I witness a step in the ever-marching cycle of life. Just because it’s unsightly to you doesn’t mean it’s undeserving of love. There is no life without death, and so I worship death as I do life. When you die, you will rot, and THERE IS BEAUTY IN THAT!!!!

[b0mb-sh3ll]

was going thru the feels last night and the universe took it too literally 😭😭😭😭

drawn legit FOUR (4) hours apart.................