#ace tings

[leikeliscomet]

When it comes to asexual allyship a lot of people wanna have their cake and eat it too (pun unintended). People like a lil 'aces are valid' moment but don't actually unpack compulsory sexuality. People see sexless queer representation and always clock puritanism before they ever clock asexuality. No one's actually reading the ace theory and texts coming out. Everyone keeps doing surprised Pikachu faces whenever a conservative or TERF says they're against asexuality despite the fact ace activists have been saying since day conservatives are not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy. 'Aces are queer' until we actually are. Even ace support posts keep ending with some expectation or condition that asexuality is #valid as long as asexuals still perform a small quota of sex/sexual activity. I'm so over 'Aces still have sex!' 'Aces are hot' Aces are sexy' 'Aces aren't virgin vanilla prude sexless puritans!' disguised as support.

Like no. Sorry. Until you accept that some asexual people's no is permanent, that some asexual's singleness is permanent, that some asexual's childless-ness is permanent, that some asexuals are the 'no' in little to no sexual attraction and i'd say most importantly, that queer sexlessness isn't a biological, social or moral failing, I don't believe you'll ever genuinely support asexuality. (In reverse, I also feel similar about aromanticism and romance).

Like a lot of u haven't gone beyond 'the a isn't for ally' and it shows. I don't want people to support asexuals just because we're soooo hot or because we write the best smut apparently or because we could have hypothetical sex or because we could do hypothetical kink or because our minds are soooo dirty actually or because we'd do romance reallllyyyy well or because we can still have kids or because asexuals hand out water bottles at the orgy or some shit. I want people to support asexuality because no sexuality is deviant and it's basic human decency.

EDIT: U lot really like this post huh. Well it's blown up again and the point's been lost so let's wrap that up:

'But op, some asexuals DO have sex/I'm an acespec that has sex/I'm a non asexual person what about meeee :(' pt 2, pt 3

'There's asexual studies OP??/Where's the asexual studies OP?'

EDIT 2: Yeah I'm locking this one up until u lot get better reading comprehension. If you genuinely, unironically, deadass believe this post is anti-sex favourable, anti-demi, anti-grey, pro-gold star/black stripe ace or even TERF rhetoric for saying asexuals don't need to have sex to be supported as human beings then compulsory sexuality has a done an absolute number one you. Read asexual theory. Look at the follow up posts I'm so tired of repeating myself.

[leikeliscomet]

oomf @scribbleymark with another bangerrrr

conversations of amatonormativity and consent overlap a lot and should be discussed side by side more frequently. because when you live in a society that teaches you that you’re supposed to want sex and romance, that you may want to say no in the moment but you shouldn’t say no forever, any statements about consent get muddied. you cannot at once preach that consent is vital and “you can always say no” and also insist that people should give sex and romance a try, even when they express disinterest, telling them “eventually you’ll find the right person.”

[dangerous-fighter-fairy]

Being aroace with a squish is really like. You look so nice and cute and pretty (not like that), I’d like to snuggle up in bed with you (not like that) and play with your hair (not like that) and lay there for a while (not like that) and hold your hand all the time (not like that) and hang out with you one-on-one (not like that) and get to you know you on a deep and personal level (not like that)

[littleplantfreak]

Calling my F/O by their first name constantly as if we’ve been married for years unless I’m mad at them for something EYE made them do in my daydreams

[stranger-things-yapper]

My personal theory is that henderhop is not canon simply because the Duffers (or maybe even Millie, idk) don't think Gaten is handsome enough to be leading man material.

Which to anyone that has watched Honor Society, is a lie.

This little dude had me FULLY CONVINCED he was in love with this girl and I was eating that shit UP

This movie fuels all my henderhop headcanons because now I know what his face looks like when he wants to kiss someone!!! When he's serious, you can tell he's serious, but when he smiles, it totally disarms you! He can be serious and a goofball! Give my little man a good haircut and you are good to go for romance scenarios!!!

But no. Not hot enough for Netflix and their little PR princess, Millie. How would they ever market a romance if she's not with a 10/10 6ft tall model?

God I hate it here. I hate how romance can't exist and be profitable if the people aren't cookie-cutter attractive. I WILL TAKE WHATEVER ACTOR CAN CONVINCE ME THE LEADING LADY IS THEIR MOON AND STARS

[leikeliscomet]

Wait this is a thing??? Omggg

Do my fellow ace lesbians still get vampires. Like not in a horny way, but you get them. Not specifically a single one but maybe the idea of them. Like a strong otherwordly woman who really likes you and needs you but not sexually, she just really wants to give you gifts and go on night-picnics with you. But she's really intense about it and keeps speaking in Victorian English.

[caffeiiine]

i fear the Ace Attorney pun names have followed me to mock trial, i haven’t even gone through the full case yet and ive found 3 pun names.

[fliesandtherainfall]

Amazon: expected delivery April 02

me already at my window:

[kafkaoftherubble]

Here's your reward for that wall of text. It's general Godot! I think he'd been like a trickster crossed with a dark mage. Low speed, high defense, dark magic and the cool bonus of a sword. I drew this yesterday and kinda regret not giving him a two handed sword though. He deserves one.

Said wall of text is this magnificent piece.

[altruistic-meme]

how is it that, for all the fucking times i have bleached my hair, it is only NOW that my mom went "huh. ya know. maybe the reason that your hair goes strawberry blond when we bleach it is because you have fucking red in your hair." like YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S KIND OF OBVIOUS ISN'T IT. WHY DID I LITERALLY NOT EVEN CONSIDER THAT BEFORE.

[leikeliscomet]

Asexual theory 101

Right I keep getting asked on most of my asexual posts 'What does this mean OP? Where's the sources?' so imma make a quick ace theory 101 post so if anyone says they don't get it I can say I tried. Let's go:

'What does being ace have to do with race/racism?/There's racism in the ace community???'

Pretty much everything as people of colour experience various forms of sexualisation and desexualisation at the same time, which is why POC are rarely included in asexual representation:

Asexuals of Color Still Seek to Validate Their Asexuality by Ebony Purks

Stereotypes & media about Black masculinity made it harder to come out as asexual by Tyger Songbird

Your Assumptions About Black Queer Masculinity Are Erasing My Asexual Identity by Timinepre Cole

It's Time To Start Celebrating Black Asexuality in Media By Tyger Songbird

Yasmin Benoit: ‘People had a hard time believing that I could be Black and asexual and at Pride’ by Alastair James

Brown and Gray: An Asexual People of Color Zine

'What do TERFS/transphobia have to do with asexuality?'

There's a growing TERF conspiracy theory that asexuality is the side-effect of transitioning. The LGB movement believes the community is exclusively for 'same-sex attracted persons' and so identities that don't involve attraction e.g. the TQIA should be removed. Most backlash towards Yasmin Benoit, aroace activist, is from white TERFs and conservatives:

Acephobic conspiracy theories have transphobic and fascist roots by Sherronda J Brown

Anti-trans movement has a new target: The asexual community by Yasmin Benoit

'But how can conservatives hate asexuality if they hate sex?'

Because they don't and never did. If the term 'puritan' was used correctly in modern internet discourse, it would be known Christian puritans believe heterosexual sex for reproduction is a gift from god and mandatory so being asexual doesn't exactly fit with that worldview. Their beef is with any form of sex and sexuality that falls outside of cis heterosexual marriage, including asexuality. They're not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy:

"Anti-Sex" and the Real Sexual Politics of the Right by Lee Cicuta (ButchAnarchy)

The religious right is now targeting sexless marriages as “selfishness.” They Want to Ban Those Too by Tyger Songbird

Asexual people targetted by right-wing pundits following landmark report by Harriet Brewis

'What does being ace have to do with gender?'

It's commonly assumed that because patriarchy shames women's sexualities and considers all men's sexuality as biological and unavoidable, that ace women only and exclusively experience desexualisation whilst ace men only and exclusively are pressured into being sexual beings. This can true as a broad overview but it can vary based on race, disability, class etc. This also becomes complex for asexuals that exist outside the gender binary. This is known as 'gender detachment'.

Impossible for Men, Unremarkable for Women by Canton Winer

My Work on Gender Detachment and Asexuality Strikes a Nerve by Canton Winer

'There's asexual studies now?'

Yup. On the general experiences of asexual people in the UK, including discrimination in education, the workplace and healthcare:

The National LGBT Survey (2018)

Ace in the UK Report (2023)

Asexuality in the UK: Public attitudes towards people who experience little to no sexual attraction (2025)

Specific names:

Asexual theorists: Ianna Hawkins Owen, Michael Paramo, Julia Sondra Decker, Canton Winer (non-ace), Sherronda J Brown, Angela Chen

Asexual activists: Yasmin Benoit, Tyger Songbird, Marshall Blount (TheGentleAce)

Asexual artists: Kimberly Butler (TheAsexualGoddess)

And I'm gonna update this with more if they're worth adding. I don't wanna hear any excuses anymore or blame towards aces of colour, gay aces or trans aces for not being specific enough anymore. Read!

[katspause]

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I suspect David & Michael’s personalities being opposite to the characters they play on Good Omens brings added depth. Crowley gets to be loveable and Aziraphale gets to be bitchy and they're both pure delight to watch

[dangerous-fighter-fairy]

The idea that nothing is inherently/objectively romantic or sexual and that the intent of the action is what makes anything romantic or sexual (aside from like. straight up having sex with someone. that’s sexual lol) is actually kind of easy to grasp but a lot of people won’t get it. Let me put it as simply as possible:

If you can do it with a friend/acquaintance/family member and have it not be sexual and/or romantic, the action is not inherently sexual and/or romantic

(With the exception of straight-up sex ofc)

Romance is harder to dissect because it’s societal, but overall, same thing. Even things that entire societies agree are inherently romantic (like giving someone an item to court them or giving them a kiss) aren’t universally agreed upon to be romantic. They are romantic because the people involved in them are deciding/agreeing they are. Someone from a country across the world could try and romance me up by giving me idk a bracelet or something. Their entire community could watch, agree it was the most romancey thing ever, but if I didn’t know that was the intent, it wouldn’t be romantic to me. I’d be like “oh cool bracelet, thanks broski!!”

And thus subjectivity!

[inspector-montoya-fox]

Lol

[princessacexsnake]

The Gangreen Gang all on a boat while enjoying ice cream cookie sandwiches here!

Made by me! (x)

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

so in case you didn't notice by my recent reblog spree

i finished reading Loveless by Alice Oseman