#alloace

[brazilianturtle]

one thing i've noticed about this post is that everybody seems to think that "deserves", from the verb "to deserve", is a synonym to "has", from the verb "to have"

every queer person deserves at least one pair of fingerless gloves

[leikeliscomet]

When it comes to asexual allyship a lot of people wanna have their cake and eat it too (pun unintended). People like a lil 'aces are valid' moment but don't actually unpack compulsory sexuality. People see sexless queer representation and always clock puritanism before they ever clock asexuality. No one's actually reading the ace theory and texts coming out. Everyone keeps doing surprised Pikachu faces whenever a conservative or TERF says they're against asexuality despite the fact ace activists have been saying since day conservatives are not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy. 'Aces are queer' until we actually are. Even ace support posts keep ending with some expectation or condition that asexuality is #valid as long as asexuals still perform a small quota of sex/sexual activity. I'm so over 'Aces still have sex!' 'Aces are hot' Aces are sexy' 'Aces aren't virgin vanilla prude sexless puritans!' disguised as support.

Like no. Sorry. Until you accept that some asexual people's no is permanent, that some asexual's singleness is permanent, that some asexual's childless-ness is permanent, that some asexuals are the 'no' in little to no sexual attraction and i'd say most importantly, that queer sexlessness isn't a biological, social or moral failing, I don't believe you'll ever genuinely support asexuality. (In reverse, I also feel similar about aromanticism and romance).

Like a lot of u haven't gone beyond 'the a isn't for ally' and it shows. I don't want people to support asexuals just because we're soooo hot or because we write the best smut apparently or because we could have hypothetical sex or because we could do hypothetical kink or because our minds are soooo dirty actually or because we'd do romance reallllyyyy well or because we can still have kids or because asexuals hand out water bottles at the orgy or some shit. I want people to support asexuality because no sexuality is deviant and it's basic human decency.

EDIT: U lot really like this post huh. Well it's blown up again and the point's been lost so let's wrap that up:

'But op, some asexuals DO have sex/I'm an acespec that has sex/I'm a non asexual person what about meeee :(' pt 2, pt 3

'There's asexual studies OP??/Where's the asexual studies OP?'

EDIT 2: Yeah I'm locking this one up until u lot get better reading comprehension. If you genuinely, unironically, deadass believe this post is anti-sex favourable, anti-demi, anti-grey, pro-gold star/black stripe ace or even TERF rhetoric for saying asexuals don't need to have sex to be supported as human beings then compulsory sexuality has a done an absolute number one you. Read asexual theory. Look at the follow up posts I'm so tired of repeating myself.

[fagbearentertainment]

I wanna see how much of the tumbr user base is queer so I made this 😋

Reblog for larger sample size! ☺️

[tonitheloftwing]

Meme inspired by me, an aroallo, being absolutely gobsmacked by the concept of Too Hot to Handle

[thepileofclothesonyourdesk]

[doomvoidjelly]

people can be aromantic and not asexual. People can be asexual and not aromantic. Holy shit I wish people didn’t use those terms interchangeably.

this applies to real life, of course, but I see people in fandom do this all the time. A character can be aromantic coded and not asexual coded and vis versa. not every aspec coded character is aroace and I wish more people recognized that some characters are better read as aroallo

[simbistardis]

Happy ace week to my Black asexuals, Black demis, Black greys, ace studs, ace stems, ace femmes/fish and everyone else in between

[reggieslocket]

reblog to scare the aphobes

[zillywalten]

Hey, if you treat QPRs as lesser than romantic relationships, I do not like you.

Like, don't say “they're at least in a QPR”, or “I don't ship characters, most I can do is QPR”

All relationships are equal, stop using hierarchies for them.

[abookwasallittooktomakemeacrook]

"and historians said they were bestest of friends" they were. they were both aro/ace and in a qpr

[bloomshroomz]

Imagine

[ihhfhonao3]

You know that smut you like? Y’know, the really, REALLY good one? You know that one? Yeah?

An asexual wrote that.

And that really good romantic fluff you like? The really cute one, the domestic fluff? Y’know that one?

An aromantic wrote that.

So before you go to sleep reading fanfiction tonight, be sure to thank all the asexuals and aromantics that are writing your favorite fics!

Because no, we are not the pure little children you think we are.

Everybody say thank you a-specs!

Thank you a-specs!

Alright, I’ll let you go now :3

[leikeliscomet]

Asexual theory 101

Right I keep getting asked on most of my asexual posts 'What does this mean OP? Where's the sources?' so imma make a quick ace theory 101 post so if anyone says they don't get it I can say I tried. Let's go:

'What does being ace have to do with race/racism?/There's racism in the ace community???'

Pretty much everything as people of colour experience various forms of sexualisation and desexualisation at the same time, which is why POC are rarely included in asexual representation:

Asexuals of Color Still Seek to Validate Their Asexuality by Ebony Purks

Stereotypes & media about Black masculinity made it harder to come out as asexual by Tyger Songbird

Your Assumptions About Black Queer Masculinity Are Erasing My Asexual Identity by Timinepre Cole

It's Time To Start Celebrating Black Asexuality in Media By Tyger Songbird

Yasmin Benoit: ‘People had a hard time believing that I could be Black and asexual and at Pride’ by Alastair James

Brown and Gray: An Asexual People of Color Zine

'What do TERFS/transphobia have to do with asexuality?'

There's a growing TERF conspiracy theory that asexuality is the side-effect of transitioning. The LGB movement believes the community is exclusively for 'same-sex attracted persons' and so identities that don't involve attraction e.g. the TQIA should be removed. Most backlash towards Yasmin Benoit, aroace activist, is from white TERFs and conservatives:

Acephobic conspiracy theories have transphobic and fascist roots by Sherronda J Brown

Anti-trans movement has a new target: The asexual community by Yasmin Benoit

'But how can conservatives hate asexuality if they hate sex?'

Because they don't and never did. If the term 'puritan' was used correctly in modern internet discourse, it would be known Christian puritans believe heterosexual sex for reproduction is a gift from god and mandatory so being asexual doesn't exactly fit with that worldview. Their beef is with any form of sex and sexuality that falls outside of cis heterosexual marriage, including asexuality. They're not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy:

"Anti-Sex" and the Real Sexual Politics of the Right by Lee Cicuta (ButchAnarchy)

The religious right is now targeting sexless marriages as “selfishness.” They Want to Ban Those Too by Tyger Songbird

Asexual people targetted by right-wing pundits following landmark report by Harriet Brewis

'What does being ace have to do with gender?'

It's commonly assumed that because patriarchy shames women's sexualities and considers all men's sexuality as biological and unavoidable, that ace women only and exclusively experience desexualisation whilst ace men only and exclusively are pressured into being sexual beings. This can true as a broad overview but it can vary based on race, disability, class etc. This also becomes complex for asexuals that exist outside the gender binary. This is known as 'gender detachment'.

Impossible for Men, Unremarkable for Women by Canton Winer

My Work on Gender Detachment and Asexuality Strikes a Nerve by Canton Winer

'There's asexual studies now?'

Yup. On the general experiences of asexual people in the UK, including discrimination in education, the workplace and healthcare:

The National LGBT Survey (2018)

Ace in the UK Report (2023)

Specific names:

Asexual theorists: Ianna Hawkins Owen, Michael Paramo, Julia Sondra Decker, Canton Winer (non-ace), Sherronda J Brown, Angela Chen

Asexual activists: Yasmin Benoit, Tyger Songbird, Marshall Blount (TheGentleAce), Kimberly Butler (TheAsexualGoddess)

And I'm gonna update this with more if they're worth adding. I don't wanna hear any excuses anymore or blame towards aces of colour, gay aces or trans aces for not being specific enough anymore. Read!

[thatgarden]

Me when asexuals just say "asexual" when they mean ace AND aro:

[Image ID: An emoji looking exhausted at a phone, with a translucent aroallo flag overlayed on it. /end ID]

[aroacearchangel]

aro and/or ace culture is wondering “is that actually a thing alloromantics and/or allosexuals experience? or is it just the Media™ pushing unrealistic narratives for everyone involved?”

[dabouse]

happy pride to

male aspecs - your existence isn't sad, and you aren't an incel.

female aspecs - you aren't a prude

non-binary aspecs - you guys are real, seen, and valid

aspecs who are loveless - you aren't any less human

aspecs who are very loving - you aren't faking it

aroallos - you aren't just a whore

alloaces - you aren't just celibate

aplatonics - you're not any less valid than other aspecs

happy pride to all aspecs!