#i forgive her for everything btw
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ok if evbo is jesus does that make her judas. or something??
#tabimc#pvpciv fanart#pvp civilization#pvp tabi#tabi pvpciv#i forgive her for everything btw#she can do whatever she wants#if tabi has no fans then i am DEAD!!!
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Killer instinct to give you the nerve
#I forgive her for everything she’s ever done btw#I adore her. let’s all leave her alone#klck#four draws tag#kipperlilly copperkettle#fantasy high#fhjy spoilers#d20 fhjy#fhjy#fh art#fantasy high art
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I feel bad for Starlo.
Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:
he does it because Star asks NICELY
clearly jealous
It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...
Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)
What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"
he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much
The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"
Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.
He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:
Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"
If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).
... okay.
#Like idk if I'm being biased because Star is my favorite character but I kinda just started thinking more and more about this and... yeesh.#Felt like a BIT of an overreaction to blame Starlo this much#No wonder he cracked#and unlike with Ceroba we actually see him do his very best to “fix” what he did “wrong”#i feel so much sympathy for this guy man#WAY more than for Ceroba#sorry fox lady#uty#undertale yellow#starlo uty#uty starlo#like dude literally had to come crawling on his hands and knees for them to forgive him#what “loyal” “supportive” friends they all are#sobbing for star#poor poor man#meanwhile everyone forgave ceroba for much much MUCH worse#she didn't need to burst into tears and beg for forgiveness even though she SHOULD have#everyone forgives her immediately on the spot + she gets a hug from clover#I'm sorry Starlo#like how was he “selfish” and “reckless”#he did something for himself for the 1st time in his life#y'all are reckless too btw#you put yourself first ONCE and they call you selfish#Star had the right to be mad at them for attacking Clover for no reason other than jealousy#wdym he's throwing you around for human business you literally wanted this#he watched the tapes more than 50 times bc that's how much he hates himself#and yet he's still been doing EVERYTHING in his power to be there for EVERYBODY
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Maybe ill draw the other champions too oooooo probably not. Anyway dragon cynthia
#had this desigin in my procreate files for over a year </3 i got too shy#i have lance in stevens outfit and steven in cynthias too…. this is like a roleswap thing not just an outfit swap btw#art tag#pokemon#champion cynthia#cynthia my everything ough….. i care her so bad…..#maybe ill dump all the old concept sketches and art i drew of the designs here later tho. well see#ill never forgive pokemas for the lance v cynthia event where they kept calling her a dragon master SHE IS NOT!!!!! SHE HAS ONE DRAGON#lance also technically has one dragon but he has fhe dragon lore. and the quote about what counts as a dragon pokemon. cynthia has a shark#but also yay lance cynthia interactions. so actually i do forgive them <3#im going to bed. gootbye. farewell.#if i post this to twt and get a single piece of lance slander im deleting all my accounts forever
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thinking about how profound it must’ve been for shri’iia when she first received scratch’s ball (woman who has never gotten anything for free in her life ever)
#shri’iia’s relationship with scratch and owlbear cub is that she has only gotten those two for a day and a half and if anything happens to#them she’s gonna kill everyone and herself (she means it)#which is so funny to me bc I usually go for the intimidate options with scratch like she just makes him heel or drop the ball immediately#so she just seems like she doesn’t like the dog but inside she’s like ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭 sobbing pissing herself the dog is so cute#shri’iia watching scratch roll on his back like a wiggling worm and she looks like she’s smiling menacingly and plotting#bc the lack of eyebrows + eye tattoo that looks like devil horns + insanely bright red eyes makes her look sinister#but she’s actually dying inside bc she finds him so cute. she will forgive how he drools on her and everything#also post oath breaking when she’s knee deep in denial I do imagine that he tries to console her w how dogs can sense ur distress and all#that. that’s why she gets attached to him 😭 she hasn’t had anyone console her before 😭#owlbear cub too… sobs she does love her babies but she’s doesn’t express it often she just doesn’t know how#but I do hc that those two are always bound to curl up w shri’iia when she’s in her trance. like when she’s laying down they’re like it’s#free real estate. then this 5 ft woman gets covered by a massive dog and her owlbear cub 🥰🥰#must be so sad for her to find out after the game that the owlbear cub and scratch left#she’s like im NOT upset btw 😭 tears running down her face astarion is like darling what mascara do u use mine isnt that dramatic#then epilogue when she sees them again and she has to give them up to shadowheart 💔💔💔💔#she’s like. clenched fist im so fucking happy for you I’m so serious
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(found)family dynamics ft. nose presets by @kashisun 🖤
Y’ALL i can’t wait for you to get your hands on these amazing presets - MARINE, you mfkin’ DID THAT, OKAY?!! *inSPIRED* had me up playin in CAS, making up whole damn backstories for sims i just met ~sigh~ they already got theme songs and nicknames cuz you had the NERVE to pop off on these wonderfully unique, character-filled, deeply customizable schnoz shapes ~ i’m in love <3333
a lil scenario occured while i was putting the family together, learning their quirks and how they interact with each other - an entire mess XD
in order of appearance :
vanity ; as “i’m watching my shows” non-snitchin’ witness / too pretty for this
snickers ; as accident-prone troublemaker crybaby / jealous he’s not the baby
ariel ; as perpetually sick-of-this-shit scandalized younger sibling / good sport
hunny ; as not the mess but has something to say about it / lowkey accomplice
mamma neptune ; as rough-edged at work, soft toward the children / the glue
#sims 4 cas#black simmer#simblr#kashisun cc#LOOK AT MY SON !! PRIDE IS NOT THE WORD I'M LOOKING FOR ; THERE IS SO MUCH MORE INSIDE ME NOW (hate hamilton now but there was a moment and#this song kept blasting through my head as i looked adoringly at my babies during creation lskjfsl i'll forgive myself; too busy doting)#mamma neptune had pretty girl rock by keri wilson as his theme song 💅🏾 -tucks a hair behind his ear- he's my saltyseadog bbygurl i love#they have regular names but i thought the nicknames are more fun for the scenario#btw snickers calls himself that so he can yell back WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! at nonblack ppl when they say his name - he's a menace to#yt society; everyone clap - also he busted his face in a mosh pit and then proceeded to cry abt it while thrashing cuz ofc💔 let it out bb~#he's always pestering ariel and she threatens him back but it's all games - they ride for each other heavy ; ariel is actually older than#snickers but she's the last to join the family and hasn't been out as long so he acts like older brother and she doesn't mind; they're both#trans bbies -mamma neptune is cis by his definition but welcomes a faggy she/her as appropriate address to his person ~ hunny is moc/fluid;#vanity is everything darling✨ they remind me of a friend so they feel extra special to me ; which wasn't intentional but i'm vibing ~#tired of typing now kthxbye💞#tw blood#probably
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now that bad blood (taylor's version) (kendrick lamar version) is finally an actual song on streaming and not just a music video song I don't have a non-gay "I swear I just like this version because of kendrick lamar" excuse to watch the bad blood music video thirteen times in a row just to oogle at girls in sexy costumes doing close-quarters combat
#taylor swift#bad blood was my bisexual awakening btw#like i watched that music video an unholy amount of times#thankfully it's not 2015 anymore and I'm an out bisexual who doesn't have to look for excuses to oogle pretty girls so#you forgive you forget but you never let it go#y'know 😏#1989 (taylor's version)#some standout moments for 19 year old me were in no particular order:#cara delevigne turning a idk purse? into nunchucks could not tell you i was too busy oogling her legs#taylor swift just taylor swift at the very beginning just everything about that sequence of events (the lipstick??? kill me)#taylor adjusting her boxing gloves with her teeth and just that whole boxing situation like just all lf that#(don't get me wrong I really do like kendrick lamar but i wasn't watching the video for him i can admit that now)
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it's awful because I'll be like ok it's been like 12 hours since I first watched the special I should be ok now and then one look at my gallery and the scene between toxinelle and marinette and I'm a sobbing mess again
#love and forgive yourself 🥺🥺💖#even when everything seems to be going against you 😭😭#this scene moved me so much 😭😭#when marinette doesn't try to fight or stop her at all and just lets her other self decide to become good 😭😭😭😭😭#paris special#paris special spoilers#btw in case you're wondering i have 600+ screenshots of the special 😶
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Iron Man (1968) #64
#I’m a bit hmm regarding that Tony’s feelings for Pepper are completely settled#and that him having a relationship with Roxie Gilbert can be made to work#the conclusion that Tony’s come to here is that Pepper’s place is with Happy#but Tony was not the start of their issues so I don’t think he’d be the end of it either#it remains to me seen if they can get their lifestyle preferences sorted#and Roxie saying#‘I can never forget the murder his munitions rained on Viet Nam for more than a decade!#And yet… perhaps I can forgive him those crimes in the name of good intentions- if tragically misplaced’#is some really weak reasoning#so I’m not quite convinced#though it does look like Roxie’s not as young as I thought cause I was thinking she was college-aged#and forgot she owned a health foods store#actually even aside from how he built his fortune his wealth could still provide a conflict in their relationship#last issue she insisting on splitting cab fare with him#but not everything in his life is something that she can afford to pay half of#also I really like that Pepper’s hatred for Iron Man is being brought up directly#because it was really striking to me in the last batch of issues I read#there was a part where she had been told that Iron Man was dead and then Tony came across her crying#and he was like btw Iron Man isn’t actually dead but also why are you crying cause I know you wouldn’t cry for Iron Man#like damn#also it would just be a really big deal if Pepper finally learned that Tony is Iron Man in the upcoming issues#marvel#tony stark#roxie gilbert#pepper potts#happy hogan#my posts#comic panels
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For some reason today I got Very Emotional about RiderQuill and thoughts were thought and randomly I have now the headcanon that Gamora was the one that proposed that Rich and Pete needed to be together in the memorial statues that appeared at the end of The Thanos Imperative.
#i should be sleeping i have to wake up early tomorrow for work i am already lacking some good sleep this week but gay thoughts#What's gayer the rainbow flag or their symbols being together in that statue for the first time and somehow ending as the Guardians logo#this is kinda an ot3 hc? impressive#i needed to share this in a place i know i would be understood... my twitter moots can only understand like 0.5 of my comics GotG ramblings#t: dick rides quill#t: all the love in this cosmos#ACTUALLY i think it started because im getting all the Ewing GotG comics at last through ebay in english because i trust no traslator to#embrace the gayness in the i love(d) him too they were cowards back in the Original Sin GotG tie in with Pete's “he did it because he loved#you i did it because i loved him“ i did not forget i will not forgive#and maybe Bendis did know what he was doing with them (he had to get something right in all his comics right?) because that was gay#not in a gay = only homosexual way btw im bi (in the most inclusive way) too#stronger i should be sleeping#autocorrector called it The Thanks Imperative let's fucking go i guess#autocorrect? maybe autocorrector is only the spanish way idk too late brain not braining#this piled with the hc that Gamora has been waiting for them for years to just confess to each other#that's why the first thing she ever did wask ask Rich if they had something and everything after that was just her angry bc they stupid#thinking Bendis may have put gay stuff deliberately doesn't make me less disappointed about how he dealt with like 60% he put in his comics
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asked a client what her expectations of her visit were when she refused to work with me today, I feel like I've hit a new low
#if everything i suggest 'cannot be' or 'tried that already didn't work'#i can't even finish a single sentence without being interrupted#and every standard neutral and polite question that serves no other purpose than to get a full history#is met with some laconic response#idk. do you want me to help your dog or not?#and forgive me if i might take your replies with a grain of salt#or add another question for clarification#if what you're telling me doesn't add up with what's in our system at all#i get being bad at timelines. it happens. it's okay.#but that doesn't mean you have a right to constantly belittle me when i'm just trying to figure out what happened when#and how long this problem took to get to this point#her answer was absolute crickets btw. but at least afterwards i could get to diagnosis and treatment#my coworker had to leave the room for a bit so she wouldn't snap at her
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now that Katy Perry has gone to an eras tour show and even sang bad blood from the vip tent we can finally get a collaboration from the two of them
#stupid shit#yes I know they made up years ago I KNOW MY KATY AND TAYLOR BEEF LORE#but now they can take over the world#they have the power to do so#I already know kp6 is going to bring her back on the charts she was very close to doing that with smile#which btw I will never forgive people for letting it flop on the charts BUT#this can do it this collab can change EVERYTHING
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One thing I noticed in this shitshow of an episode is how fucking ungrateful Stolas was for everything Blitzø did for him since he came to his place.
Him being a spoiled rich white asshole:
I hate his facial expressions so much, you have no idea
I can guarantee you care about these 'nice things' more than you care about your daughter btw
Oh, we also have, let's see here...
*insert the entire montage of Blitzø (Stolas' victim) trying to cheer his abuser up since he's now in love with him thanks to good ol' Stockholm Syndrome*
Seeing that cigarette reminds me of when Stolas uh... *checks notes* called Blitz an 'itty bitty imp (racist)' despite him clearly hating it, grabbed his cheek and used his horn to put out his cigarette (not to mention Blitzø's severe trauma being related to fucking fire)
Okay so anyway, I think Stolas said "Oh, when have you ever asked" bc Blitzø stole from him and his family 25 years ago. correct me if I'm wrong here but isn't it manipulative af to bring up smth that happened that long ago, also it's totally unrelated to the current situation. I swear it's like a grown ass man saying to another "Oh I still hate you because, uhm, remember that one time in 3rd grade when you stole my pencil..."
So... if Stolas still holds this against Blitzø, let me ask: why was he ever "in love" with him in the first place? Answer? He wasn't. Stolas only used this imp for his sexual fantasies and for him to get to experience his "fairytale romance"
P.S. Imps are a race his privileged ass has always been racist towards and he hasn't ever attempted to, uh... try to understand them better? Understand how they live? I mean if you truly cared about your "boyfriend," Stolas, you'd have put in SOME effort to change your mindset/behavior and WOULDN'T HAVE EVER SEXUALLY COERCED HIM
He also r@p*d you blitz
And no he didn't do much, he's powerful af. Using those powers isn't rocket science heck he turned an imp to stone in s1 he can protect himself but is apparently the "bottom" in the stolitz "relationship". Also no, him leaving Octavia clearly isn't a huge deal to Stolas otherwise he'd have fought to earn her forgiveness and not just sulk like a wimpy loser. YOU ARE NOT ONLY A GROWN MAN STOLAS, BUT A FATHER. At least you were supposed to be
So was not thinking about your daughter until you lost everything, apparently
AGAIN WITH THIS SHIT??? WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT A TRANSACTION AGAIN
Alright I'm signing off until the next season drops, if that ever happens
This episode sucked, but kudos to our girl Via who was smart enough to see through her "father's" bs 👏
ALSO HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THE CRITICAL COMMUNITY (and to non-toxic stans too)!
#anti helluva boss#helluva boss critical#helluva critique#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critique#anti helluva#anti hellaverse#anti vivziepop#fuck vivziepop#anti stolas#fuck stolas#anti stolitz#helluva critical#stolas critical#stolitz critical#tw abuse#tw sa#tw sa mention#tw sa implied#tw abuse mention#tw racsim#octavia deserves better
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Hey, Kiki-Kit. Your customers are waiting!
Well, this is a painful post to make given the respect and admiration I had for her, but a long overdue one because I'm not alone in this mess and I refuse to let another fan fall for it when I could've said something!
Back in February, I bought a commission from Kiki-Kit. You may know that artist as she was one of the best in the Gravity Falls fandom back in the day and the illustrator of Don't Dimension It in Lost Legends.
She'd been running emergency commissions at the start of the year and I got one from her for $40 USD.
I have the invoice and everything saved and also messages with Kiki of us talking about the comm and me paying her. I owe nothing on my end money wise! I paid in full.
She said later she'd have them finished by around the end of March but come late April, still no response. So, I messaged her about it. Nothing odd I thought. I get things can happen and if Kiki is busy, at most she'd reply telling me it'll be a while longer and all's good.
But I got nothing. I messaged her, emailed her on the commissions email she had and tweeted at her. NOTHING! Turns out there were other people, including some friends of mine who had not heard back either. Then in June, Kiki made an update post explaining the situation.
Naturally I felt bad and wished her the best. She said iirc, she'd have the remaining comms done by the end of the Summer but here we are at the end of October and still nothing. I messaged her too again and no response.
You know, it's one thing if there's a reason for no response for a few days but then another when it's been months and still nothing. Oh and btw, I very much remember Kiki on Twitter liking tweets (back when Twitter let you see liked tweets) while I was there messaging her for an update. Real sus if you ask me.
But okay, I shouldn't rush it. Everyone has reasons to take time and maybe Kiki is just very busy and can't get back. She went through a very rough and difficult experience and I can understand and respect that. I'm more than happy to wait. But how long is too long without an update? Maybe a bit longer I guess. Art takes time.
Well, IDK about you all, but I don't remember any other Gravity Falls fan artist taking oh, idk...FIVE YEARS TO FINISH A COMMISION AND STILL NOT RESPOND!!
FoxieSkullzArtz on Twitter made me aware she has been waiting since 2019 for Kiki to respond to a commission they paid her for.
2019!!
I'm not an artist, so forgive me if I'm wrong. But I don't think it should take any artist 5 years to make a commission and even if, at least communicate with the person who paid you about it so they're not left guessing.
Oh, and it gets worse. I got another person who let me know they've been waiting since 2020 for a comm and Kiki handled it far worse!
Oh yeah, she blocked them for asking about it!
And okay, even if we give Kiki-Kit the benefit of the doubt and assume she has reasons to not communicate with people and maybe even assume people messaging her are being mean about it, then why not refund them? Nice or bad, you were paid by them to do something but also have the power to deny it and refund their money. And yet, Kiki did not even do that. And even if we be super kind and assume everyone is lying, I'm still here.
I paid Kiki-Kit $40USD for a comm I thought I would get in late March and it's now late October and still nothing. And even if you don't wanna believe me cause you can't believe an artist like Kiki-Kit would do this and assume I'm after clout (which would be odd, given why would I take pleasure in calling out an artist I respected)...well, there's gonna be someone else who says this too. And people have been saying this for years and she still is getting away with it!
It's disappointing honestly. Kiki-Kit is a name so many in this fandom know and love. And I love her art too. She's a fan artist who got to be on Lost Legends. We all celebrated that in 2018 and still remember it. And I know how hard it may be to hear this, but it has to be said.
I do not like having to do this, but I have a platform that can get this message across further than others could and having been someone who lost money to her too, I know first hand what all these people have been through.
And before you say "Kiki was going through a rough time in her life. Why are you blaming her? Be patient and she'll get your stupid art done," read over everything again. I'm not saying Kiki-Kit needs to be making art 24/7 and fulfilling these comms. I'm not saying she isn't allowed to be offline and not finish things on time for reasons out of her control. What I'm saying is that she hasn't communicated properly with anyone here who paid her and has continued to accept more and more commissions from people despite not finishing ones she has backlogs of.
When an artist opens commissions, why do you think they have slots or only accept a few? Because they know they can get that many done in a certain time or know anymore will take longer. And even if it took longer, at least they give updates. I bought a commission for the interview with Alex Hirsch and got it both on time and with proper communication from the artist.
And even if you disagree with all this, be honest with yourself...is making someone wait since 2019 or 2020 for a comm and not responding to them really something still worth defending?
I'm not here to cancel anyone. I don't want Kiki-Kit's reputation to be that of an scammer who stole money from people. But she's painted herself that way to far too many people who have been warning about this for ages but no one either saw or listened to them.
I tried to be nice and messaged Kiki-Kit over and over for an update and she never responded. I had friends who she took money from who similarly have not heard anything back! If you know Kiki directly, tell her to reach out to these people and all the ones she has taken money from and not gotten back to and either refund them or commit to finishing their commissions. Please don't be rude or hostile either though, given despite it all, she is still a person like your or me who deserves a chance to make things right.
I wanna believe Kiki-Kit has just made some negligent mistakes and isn't the best with time management or communication. I mean, I'm not the best either. But I'm not asking people for money for something and then not getting back to them with it. I'm sorry to everyone who is learning about this who saw Kiki in a positive light and I'm sorry also to everyone like me who lost money to her.
I hope if nothing else, Kiki will respond and make whole everyone she has taken money from. If she really cares about this fandom that put her on a pedestal high enough that Alex Hirsch himself picked her to work on his book, she can respond to us and fulfill what we paid her to do.
I'm not asking for my commission to be done tomorrow...I just want an update. That's all. We all do! No more stalling, @kiki-kit. Please respond to us now!
Sincerely,
Every person who has paid you for a commission and has yet to hear back from you and every Gravity Falls fan who your work inspired and are now having to learn this about you!
#gravity falls#gravity falls fandom#Kiki-Kit#commission#art commissions#gravity falls fanart#artists on tumblr#artist#alex hirsch#Lost Legends#spread awareness#scam alert#online scams#scam warning#Twitter#KikiKit
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can't stop thinking about dungeon meshi btw. how it comes down to being able to appreciate the hard and painful times because of the moments of happiness you experienced along the way.
it's about falin being able to forgive and look beyond the harsh way things were done- be it their father announcing he will send her away from the village or laios leaving her behind- partly due to her personality, and how she used to prioritize her loved ones' needs and emotions over her own, but also because of the positive impact that road eventually had on her. she knows her family was trying to protect her but what truly made it impossible to regret the path she had to take were the precious memories she made later on- it was learning magic and seeing new places and becoming friends with marcille and of course she couldn't hate it all, she was happy. it's about laios feeling so utterly miserable because on his end, it seemed like nothing good or enjoyable happened to him after leaving home, aside from the letters written by falin. but how long can a child be satisfied with another's happiness which he never got to experience himself?
so it really is beautiful that the series started off with him realizing that this journey allowed him to finally feel that happiness he was yearning for-
-and ended with everyone else realizing it too. when you first read chapter 11 it's just a funny gag about people not understanding laios, but it genuinely was too early for them to share his sentiment. they needed to come to terms with it on their own, with chilchuck opening up to them and senshi resolving the hovering mystery of his past and izutsumi freeing herself and joining their party and marcille facing her greatest fear. the winged lion was taking advantage of the loneliness and anger and pain lingering in laios's heart, but even it couldn't deny this. how, despite everything, he couldn't be satiated and his own happiness couldn't be complete without his friends' happiness too. how it was always about everyone enjoying a meal together.
and then there's marcille, who refused to admit it until the very end. it's in the way she had such a hard time fully accepting eating monsters despite how tasty she found them, not just due to how weird they were but also because she tried rejecting and burying her own pleasure and joy during this entire journey. from the very beginning, she was only willing to endure the pain and suffering.
as if she couldn't accept feeling an ounce of comfort, satisfaction, let alone happiness while falin was suffering on her own. and it might've been laios's reaction as well if all of this had happend a decade ago- i mean, that's exactly what he did back then. blaming himself for leaving her behind, being tormented by her loneliness and absence while falin was actually slowly moving towards a brighter future. it was him that was stuck, not her. but he kept focusing on her pain to ignore how deep the hole in his own heart had become, consumed by guilt to ignore his own agony, or to make sense of it- because maybe he did deserve it after all he had done.
and for that reason marcille was so terrified of admitting there was warmth in what she considered the depths of hell. because it would mean accepting falin going ahead of her and leaving her behind, accepting the inevitable she was trying so hard to deny and the end of her dream.
but it was learning there's joy even in her worst nightmare that allowed her to finally embrace those moments of pleasure that made her life worth living, however short they were. she realized that her pursuit would take away the things that truly mattered to her, that if she had succumbed to her fear of loss she would've been the one hurting her loved ones, just as happened to thistle. laios asking her to use ancient magic for falin's resurrection and then encouraging her to not give up on her desires during the nightmare chapter was a direct parallel to delgal being the one to push thistle down the road of destruction, while both marcille and thistle were trying to protect the people most important to their friends.
but in marcille's case, laios was able to understand her at the end, pulling her back just before she descended to complete ruin. it's truly fascinating how the story is not only about laios being understood but also getting to understand others properly, deeply- it's about mutual understanding, the balance between two people he never managed to maintain before. and i think it's only after seeing thistle's tragedy that he was able to fully realize what might become of marcille down the line. so while delgal put the weight of the world on thistle's shoulders, laios was the one to tell marcille she doesn't have to do that. because even if falin's resurrection hadn't succeeded, they both already know- there's happiness even in the dungeon's pit. and it's by preparing a hearty meal made of her loved one's remains that marcille was able to truly accept it- thus allowing herself to enjoy it to the fullest, embracing the cycle of life, no matter how weird or painful or grotesque it is.
#and chil was weirded out by how marcille of all people was truly delighted while eating falin 😭#the character development through mealssss#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#laios touden#falin touden
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mouthwashing responsibility au rambles below cut 🫡
(spoiler warning for the actual game obviously)
- even though jimmy got deservedly knocked out by anya and thrown into the cryopod early on, the crash still does happen. it's a freak accident this time, like maybe a piece of space debris just happened to hurtle right into them without time to dodge. it's like the tulpar is destined to crash. but this time it's a story about a group of people finding hope and strength in each other and finding what they themselves can be capable of in a time of crisis. btw i just mean curly, anya, swansea, and daisuke. i am NOT repenting jimmy. he ain't "fixing" shit.
- i'm sorry for frying curly again even though this is supposed to be an au with a happier ending 😭 the way his loss of autonomy reflects anya's own loss of it, making him feel firsthand the suffering she went through in a way, felt too important to just remove. curly's injuries aren't as terrible as in the original timeline since swansea rescued him earlier. and by "not as terrible" i mean he only loses a leg and not all of his limbs. he will get some function in his hands eventually and anya teaches him sign language to help him communicate (she teaches the others too).
- speaking of anya, she really shows her stuff as a nurse (even in the original timeline she does, managing to keep curly alive like that). she treats curly and swansea and is much more of a pillar of strength for the crew than she herself realizes. pre-crash and post-jimmy-getting-fired, she was able to relax and open up more with everyone, building a stronger bond. when the crash happens, anya is of course terrified and hella stressed, but now she knows she has people who have her back, and it helps. she can be more confident in herself without a certain someone being there to belittle and hurt her. this time when she has to deal with something difficult, something traumatizing, she has people to support her. in this au, she is not pregnant because if she was, i don't see how keeping the baby would be a good thing for her. and i don't want her to have to deal with that situation without the proper medical supplies on top of everything else. she's been through enough.
- btw there is no shipping in this au. i personally really don't see how it could happen between anyone on the crew. if there was some sort of spark between anya and curly, it's definitely gone now and won't happen again. the most they'll be are friends (although the friendship/trust will have to be built from the ground up again after everything that's happened with jimmy). the only ship here is the tulpar.
- i know daisuke is seen as a "dumb kid" but i really don't think that's the case. we are seeing him thru jimmy's perspective mostly after all and jimmy is the definition of an unreliable narrator. i headcanon daisuke as having adhd like me who tends to lose focus on tasks easily because your brain is just going 102929 miles a minute and wandering to all sorts of places like me. he feels like someone who doesn't exactly know where they want to go in life like me. also he's definitely a hawaii kid born and raised and talks pidgin sometimes like me except i lost the pidgin :(. i'm totally not projecting my asian ass on the asian boy or anything. BUT ANYWAY i wanted to give daisuke more stuff to do and a chance to prove to himself that he can do these things, he can step up. so that's partially why i made swansea burn his hands rescuing curly. daisuke can now be filled with Determination and be swansea's hands in repairing things as he heals. it's going to be hard and it's going to be frustrating for both parties and sometimes they'll get upset at each other. but it will inevitably be a great bonding experience for the two. i cannot resist the call for more father-son moments.
- swansea my beloved. i am so sorry for burning your beautiful hands please forgive 😔🙏 i have to make my faves suffer a little. swansea's hands will heal up eventually and he'll be able to use them again, but there will be scars. i think him having to guide daisuke with doing repairs n stuff on the ship as his hands recover gives him a mission. something to distract him from completely falling into despair and alcoholism. that man is hanging on by a thread but by god he's going to help get these kids through this. they've all grown closer since jimmy was sacked and swansea feels a sort of responsibility towards protecting anya, daisuke and curly as the oldest one there. it's the dad instincts y'know? on the real hard days, sometimes swansea thinks about cracking open a bottle of mouthwash, but he holds back because he feels he needs to stay strong for the crew. however he does have to learn that he can't shoulder everything and that he can rely on others. him having no choice but to have daisuke take over his tasks is a good way for him to learn that, i think. swansea is definitely a pillar of strength in this and the rest of the crew have a lot of affection for him (and vice versa even if swansea won't admit it). can you tell i really like swansea. he is such a foil to jimmy—a guy who has fucked up a lot in his life but actually acknowledges his mistakes and is trying his hardest to be a better person. aghh swansea i love you 💛💛
- after the crash happens, the cryopod room becomes inaccessible, so nobody is able to check on the state of jimmy in there. so they don't see that the crypod he's in eventually fails from damage and he escapes. this happens a couple weeks into the crash. jimmy is still pissed about everything and still can't see how he's done anything wrong (this is because he is a delusional asshole). in fact, he feels like he's the one who's been wronged and betrayed by everyone on the crew and he wants revenge. there will be a final confrontation between jimmy and the crew. spoilers: jimmy loses. i'm just undecided on who finishes it. it would be fitting if anya shot him, but i'm not sure that's something she'd necessarily want to do. she chose to be in the medical field after all. don't get me wrong, i think she would pull the trigger if it meant protecting the others. but i'd hate to have her kill, because even if jimmy deserves it, anya is a healer and would still probably feel guilty about it. i don't want to put even more shit on her plate. so i think swansea is the one to put jimmy down in the end. with the axe of course. i think he'd feel less guilty about doing it because it's something he's wanted to do since anya first told him about jimmy. oooh what if jimmy gets his hands on the gun, but daisuke tackles him, making him drop it, and anya gets it and shoots jimmy in the shoulder or leg or something to get him off of daisuke, and then swansea comes in with the axe to finish him off. that could be fun. that way anya won't have to actually kill but she'll still get to shoot jimmy. bless.
- the crew gets rescued eventually, but it's going to be a few months because pony express is a nightmare company. i'm honestly still not sure if pony express is even the one who will rescue them or even bother to look. i'm tempted to just have another ship happen across them by some miracle and help. real tempted to make that ship The Unreliable and turn this into a Mouthwashing x The Outer Worlds crossover quite honestly since both settings share similarities (megacorporations, cryosleep, etc). but idk. it's not like i can just write a fanfic or anything since writing is harder for me and who knows how long it will be before i even draw the idea. it's just yet another self-indulgent daydream for now.
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