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softtdaisy · 1 year ago

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🌲 a found family l max verstappen

summary. you and max can't spend Christmas together but a trip to his dad and the love he has for you make him realize that he deserves better. a better life. a better love. a better family.

words count. 2,596

a/n. and this is the last piece for this Christmas series. Thanks to all of you for sticking me through December. and a massive thanks to my favorite person @monzabee for encouraging me and for giving me this beautiful idea to end the series 🫶

a very angsty Christmas l masterlist

You looked absolutely gorgeous, wearing a dress Max had bought you this year during one of your holidays. One of the many gifts he did to you this year, because if there were one thing that could describe your boyfriend it would be his generiosity. That man could buy you the world if you wanted it.

And that was maybe what was making him the saddest tonight.

He could see you wearing it and neither could he offer you his gift.

Because you were not spending Christmas’ eve together. But in each other’s family.

“You know this look is a great excuse to skip the diner at my dad’s?” Max asked which made you laughed. He was still sit on your bed, his shirt barely closed and his hair absolutely not styled. He was the closest to his place, compared to you who had to drive for almost two hours.

He watched you as you walked to your phone, that you had put on your wardrobe to show your whole look. “You’re such a flirt, Maxie.” you kept laughing, specially when he started making his poutty face that you absolutely love. You always found it funny how most people saw him as this arrogant guy when he was such a sweetheart.

“Ain’t I allowed to flirt with my girl?”

“You are. It’s a shame you won’t enjoy the result of this flirt tonight.”

This hasn’t been an easy decision for either of you. It’s was only your first christmas together since you started dating on january. And you really wish you could have spend the evening together. But you learn one thing through this past year: never go against Jos Verstappen’s plan.

From the first race you attended, you got the feeling Jos didn’t really appreciate you. You tried to talk about it with Max without making a whole drama out of it but he didn’t really react. Or say anything, actually.

Not that Max didn’t care. It was even far from it. He just didn’t know what to do. He never talked about his personnal life with his dad and it wouldn’t be a first now. Specially not with these type of question. Max always assumed that his father only care about his racing career. It couldn’t be that bad if he wasn’t interested in his son’s couple. Right?

“I have to go” you told Max, who was lost on his thoughts. He enjoyed for the last few seconds to sight of you before you had to hung up. “Call me if you need, alright?”

“Even if I don’t need it.” he laughed before letting you go.

Every time he had to say goodbye to you, on the phone or because you couldn’t follow him for the next race, Max felt a little hole in his heart. He never thought one day he’ll met someone that could complete him like you did.

That’s all he thought about until he arrived at his dad’s place. All the thing he wanted to do with you before the new season starts, where he would take you during the holiday, which races you could be there and what places he wanted to show you during these weekend. More than just happiness for your couple, Max realised how important you were for his anxiety. Before he met you, most of the time he had to drive to see his father, he was anticipated all the bad things that could happen. The critics, the disapproval, the yelling if they really did disagree on something. And the worst part was that, in the end, he was just living the nightmare before it happened.

And maybe it was the fact he didn’t think about all these things before arriving, but Max felt good when he arrived.

“Uncle Maxie!” And being around his nephew was definitely a good help.

For many years, Max never consider having children. The anxiety he developped because of his own childhood was a perfect argument to avoid trying. How could he give a child what he needs if he doesn’t know himself what a kid should have? He knew what he shouldn’t do, that’s all.

But these past weeks, from seeing his nephews and calling them, he realized that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea.

And maybe, you weren’t for nothing in this change of mind.

“You’re shinny, uncle Maxie.”

“Shinny?” he laughed, still playing with the little cars that represent all the Formula one drivers.

“Yep. You’re happy.”

Max didn’t know what to answer to that. But then he felt two hands on his shoulders and a kiss from Victoria on his hair. “He’s right.” He turned around to look at her. He guessed that the look she had was just another proof that indeed, he was lookier happier. “It’s for the toast, come.”

It was some kind of tradition. Everyone had to say what they were grateful for at the end of this year. Kids, health, career… each other always revolved around these subjects. Max was not going to break the circle. Not today.

“Well I’m grateful for the amazing year I spend. Winning the championship again was more than I could expect at the beginning of the season. So yeah I’m grateful for the team, for the work we did to win the races and create such amazing memories all together.”

Max stopped for a few seconds, thinking about what he could be grateful for. There was one thing, obviously.

If he met his father’s eyes, he wouldn’t have continued. But he didn’t. He looked at Victoria and her massive smile.

“And I’m grateful for my girlfriend. I couldn’t have go through this crazy year without her. She’s my rock, she’s my best friend, she’s without a doubt my soulmate and I’m glad I could finally found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Max heard all the lovely and loudly sound from his family. And before he could notice her, Victoria was already in his arms, telling him how proud she was that he finally found the happiness he deserved.

Again, he could have focus on the good thing, all the congratulations and excitement about this new family member that they all couldn’t wait to meet. But this time, Max did saw Jos look on him. One that he sadly knew by heart: disappointment.

At first, Max decided to ignore the situation and spend most of the evening playing with his nephews, pretending to be a car himself to drive them around the house. But he couldn’t escape the heavy atmosphere forever.

Max saw that Jos was sitting by himself in the living room, with a whisky in his hand. He hesitated, did he really wanted to break all the good vibes for a talk for his dad? And then again, he was too nice to avoid him. No matter if he knew he would end this conversation with some broken feelings, Max couldn’t escape it. Because if there was one thing he was sure about, it was that he never wanted to become like his father. A man that would rather ignore the people he love for the sake of disappointment. Silence was never the solution.

“So, how do we feel about new season?” Max asked, sitting next to him. If there was one subject they couldn’t really argue about was his career. Or at least, even if there was some disagreement, it wouldn’t end up badly.

“You have to leave her.” It was simple. Five words. Said with a hard tone. Like an order. “You’re already losing your man over that…stupid girl. You can’t let yourself fail for a woman, Max.”

Maybe he should have gone with the swerve, in the end. “What do you mean? I’ve been with her for a year and I still won.” He could have, maybe, understand if the season was a pure fail. But it wasn’t. The car was amazing and he won almost every races. There was not single doubt that not only you weren’t a burden but you were a motivation for him. It didn’t make sense. But still, Max knew where all of this came from. Because he knew his father.

“A woman is always a burden in a career.”

“This is why you got married thrice?” It left his mouth without Max had time to notice it. Truth is, he got tired as he grow older of the need to think about his words. What could he say what he mean to his dad? Why should he still be afraid? “Trust me, you terrible at giving relationship advices.”

“You should watch your mouth.” Jos replied, taking a stew towards his son. For many years, Max used to step back to avoid the confrontation. Not anymore.

Instead, he took at step towards too. “You should watch yours. I won that fucking championiship, again. And you can’t even congratulate me? All you think about is the woman that want to spend her life with me? Not you, me.”

He noticed the change, again, in Jos look. It was getting darker and darker, like his anger was taking over himself and he was close to not be able to contain himself. Usually, Max was scared of the moment he would explode. There was just one change in his mind. You.

Max could accept any criticism about his career or life choices, he didn’t care. It was his life. Sometimes he might be wrong and he could deal with his dad saying that he warned him. He was still young and could deal with some mistakes.

But there was one thing he could never let Jos critcize or give his opinion on it: you.

“I won’t let you ruin your career for some stupid woman.” Jos got the time to grab his wrist. Max hated feeling like a child, all over again. Looking for his dad approval.

Expect that this time, he didn’t want it. “Fine. It’s my career. I don’t need your opinion.” he managed to free himself and was already leaving the room. He couldn’t continue this without letting it become some shit show. No matter the situation, his family didn’t deserve it. Specially not on Christmas eve.

“If you don’t leave her, then i’m not supporting you anymore.”

Max stopped in the middle of the room. He heard the sound of a glass falling in the kitchen sink. He heard the sudden silence in the children’s playroom. This was the results of year of fighting for Jos seeing him as an equal, as a real driver and not a child who wants to grow older and be consider an adult. This was the results of feeling like his dad loved him.

Max was hurt. But he couldn’t fight anymore. “Fine.” he didn’t turn around, didn’t want to look at his father. It wasn’t the idea of seeing him. It was the idea of Jos seeing how bad he broke him, again. “I’ll do better without you.”

The silence was still everywhere when Max walked to his sister to kiss her and said goodbye to his nephew. It was for the better, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to fight if they asked him to stay. But Victoria knew his brother, and what he deserves was to be in a place where he felt loved.

And there was one where he knew he would never be ignored and rejected.

When you opened the door, you imagined different scenarios. But never one where you would see Max on your doorstep. “Baby?” you asked with confusion, almost like you were sure he was real.

“I’m sorry, I should have called, I know i wasn’t invited but…” he didn’t need to continue. Because you recognized the look in his eyes. One you sadly saw before. When he argued with his dad on the circuit and you couldn’t do anything than holding him in your arms. Telling me it would get better. That he wasn’t alone.

That was the only truth Max needed. He was far from being alone.

So you offered your hand to him. “Come in baby.” you noticed the little hesitation in his look, on that sadden you. It wasn’t that Max didn’t want to come in. It was a pur fear of opening his heart to you and losing you after. It didn’t last long, because he knew deep down that you were here to stay. But you were scared that this was a kind of thought that would never leave his mind.

You gave him a small and simple kiss on the lips, a kind of silent promise that you were supporting him. It wasn’t much, but it was more than Max even asked for. He was so not used of being understood and loved, this simple attention was enough to light up his heart again.

“Sweetie, who’s th… Oh Max! What a lovely surprise!”

You were interrupted by your dad who almost push you away to take Max in his arms. You weren’t surprised. First, because your dad was a very lovely and tactile person who couldn’t resist this type of greeting. Second, because he appreciated Max so much, he was probably the one praying every day for a wedding. Third, because he had been asking you all night why you didn’t bring him.

But Max, on the contrary, was more than surprised by that. Was he really that happy to see him? “Come in, you’re getting cold. Did you eat? We have…” you didn’t even hear the rest of the sentence that your dad had already pulled Max to the living room. Your boyfriend just had the time to turn around and give you a curious look. To which you replied with a smile. It felt right to see him being appreciated and treated like he should.

All your family spend the night talking to him, asking questions and making him feel like he was home. That was the truth, actually: this place was also a home for him. It was yours. And your family already considered him as a part of it. There was no reason for Max to not be a full member.

It wasn’t until you got to bed, in your bedroom, that he let his mind speak. You were laying on his chest while he was looking at the ceiling and caressing your hair. It was relaxing for both of you to stay in silence after the crazy night you had.

“I’ve felt much more at home here in a few hours than in all my life with my dad.” Max said slowly, in a whisper.

You turned your head just enough to look at him while he was still focused on his thoughts. You were making a whole speech in your head to make him feel better. You had no idea how he felt about this. This must be such a strange situation to feel more loved by your family-in-law than your own.

But then he put a kiss on your hair and started to smile. “Thank you.” he whispered, like he was scared to be heard by anyone else. “For finding me and for loving me.”

You could feel your heart melt at this confession. “Thank you for opening your heart to me.” you replied.

And you stayed like that for a good minute before you made a debrief of the whole evening here. When you both fell asleep, you realised you had the greatest gift you could ever dream of. Happiness in the arms of your loved one.

#max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen story #max verstappen fic #max verstappen angst #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #my writing

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markantonys · 1 month ago

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3x06 thoughts! full-series book spoilers

cold open: i didn't realize how much i've been missing ishy until he showed up and i cheered! he was a gentle soul. if/when ishy is resurrected, i'm definitely hoping they'll keep fares fares rather than recast because he is just so wonderful, and then just not do the whole rand bodyswap thing at the end so that we get to see josha portraying rand's final moments in the show, as he and we deserve (though since min's Stabbening viewing does seem to imply that that wound will kill rand's body, i don't know. but there's a lot of ways they could handle the whole situation and it's a long way off, so i won't bother speculating now!)

the liandrin flashback was definitely heartbreaking, but on the other hand, i don't know if it really provided any new info that we didn't already know or couldn't have guessed about her backstory (since they've already told and shown us a LOT about her backstory at this point, we didn't really need every single remaining blank filled in, although it IS very interesting to see that she was snatched by ishy while so young before she even went to the tower!), so personally i think i could've done without it and used the time for something else. but since liandrin returning to her hometown is a book plot point anyway, might as well take the opportunity to flesh out her backstory (plus this scene also showed us the male a'dam statue, which helped us later), and i feel fairly confident that she'll die in ep8 since she's getting all this spotlight.

continuing on the tanchico thread, fun times were had this episode! i loved all the scenes of everybody dicking around in the city, although since there were so many shenanigans, i do feel like we didn't get quite as much forward plot movement in tanchico as i'd expected from their A-plot episode. but then, there isn't really that much that actually needs to be done in tanchico besides moggy encounters (check) and the museum showdown (set up thanks to info learned in this episode), so this plotline was always going to get the shorter end of the stick in terms of Exciting Plot Events compared to the waste & two rivers storylines which do have quite a few big events to cover this season, and therefore it does have time to have some breathing room and scenes of characters just having a good time. it is a good counterbalance to the heavy stuff going on elsewhere!

thom returns, and he and mat talk about rand, just as i'd hoped! and we hear that thom was morgase's court bard for a while and recognizes elayne, though no details yet on what type of a role he might have had in the family's personal lives. mat going "WOO!!! THAT'S MY FRIEND!!!!" when elayne was performing was SO cute oh my god <333 they were a cute little chaos duo this episode, but it was mostly just them doing stuff individually in the same location as each other rather than them having proper interactions with each other (contrast to nynaeve & min getting some good solo chats over on their side of the story), which i was a bit disappointed about since my main consolation prize for removing mat from the waste and losing cauthor interactions was getting to have matlayne interactions over in tanchico, and that's ended up not really happening. but i'll have to hope for bigger matlayne interactions in a future season should their paths cross again!

elayne and min also didn't really interact once again this episode, so yeah, i'm feeling pretty confident now that min is out of the polycule. but we'll see!

nynaeve letting loose and having a good time for once in her life haha bless her <3 and min telling that guy she foresaw he was going to marry jeaine in order to get info out of him when what she actually saw was that he is going to be killed be jeaine - very therapeutic for me who constantly wondered "why doesn't book!min ever even CONSIDER lying about a viewing in order to be able to use people's ironclad belief in her abilities for strategic advantage?" the show is doing a really great job at giving her more agency and showing her figure out how to use her abilities as a tool rather than having her be a powerless vehicle for prophecies, the way the books usually used her.

Mat's Admirer 100% wanted to fuck him, but unclear if mat was interested or even aware of this since he only cared about using the guy for info (though hey, when he comes back right at the end and grab's mat's hand to get his attention, mat did have kind of a "listen i am 100% DTF but unfortunately i'm busy right now" reaction in my opinion haha). i will claim minor cauthor rights in mat saying he was looking for a pretty necklace for a big strong man djfkgjh

the moggy-nynaeve-elayne scene was SO good!!!! 10/10 no notes!! zoe and ceara's acting was incredible here, especially zoe during the moment where nynaeve's brain manages to put up some subconscious resistance despite her still being smiley and docile on the exterior. all the setup earlier in the season of seeing what compulsion weaves look like from nyomi and hearing how drastically they can alter people's behavior when a forsaken-level channeler uses them did a good job making sure the audience would understand what was going on when moggy hits the girls with it here. and the beginnings of moggy's beef with nynaeve are established - she's shocked and pissed and intrigued that nynaeve was able to briefly resist her compulsion!

i'm left feeling that mat hasn't really had much more to do in tanchico than he would've in the waste, so i'm maintaining my guess that removing mat from the waste was more about making space for rand's story to focus on egwene/moiraine/lanfear than it was about creating a better story for mat. he kiiiiiiiinda hasn't done shit all season besides tick off a couple fanservice moments and there's only 1 episode left (though it should be a good one for him given his doorway appointment). haha, i also think that i differ from a lot of book-show fans in that i like mat the most and find him the most compelling when he's being angsty and pathetic, so the harder they lean on him as comic relief, the further he slips away from me even as most other readers are gushing about how he finally feels like himself. (and this is probably a place where my show-first origin shows, because my very first meeting with mat was his s1 version which i found deeply emotionally compelling, whereas a ton of book-first viewers didn't like s1 mat and thought he felt totally off from his book characterization. and it's not about the actors for me because i know donal can nail the emotionally compelling and deeper/angstier side of mat when given the chance! he just hasn't been given many chances for it this season compared to last season when mat was such a sad wet cat. but if we get s4, it should be mat's time to have focus, and rafe & co have always shown an incredible understanding of the true depth of mat's character despite s3 not having a ton of time for him to shine, so i'm really looking forward to an s4 that he has the spotlight in.)

switching gears to the two rivers. not much to say about it from me, but i enjoyed all the scenes! bode & eldrin healing alanna was very sweet - it looks like they're both channelers in the show rather than just bode, which is a neat change. i really really really hope we'll get to see them reunite with mat next season so that mat can catch up on all his family news!

perrin and faile's scenes were so good! in order to make their romance believable, we definitely really needed to spend some time with just the two of them talking about serious emotional stuff and bonding, so i'm very glad that this episode delivered on that front. the romance is still a little more rushed than i would like, but since i also felt that way with lanaeve in s1 and avilayne in 3x01, i just have to accept that this is the way the show does things haha and perrin/faile is the smallest offender of the 3 since it was just a very brief kiss that got interrupted, and i'm sure they'll have even more emotional bonding during the big episode next week before taking their relationship to a deeper level. and regardless, their dynamic is SO much better than it was at this point in the books!

super angsty change to faile's backstory, but it's a great way of telling us what kind of a person she is as well as giving insight into her upbringing (honestly, i might've found seeing this scene play out onscreen a more valuable Supporting Character Origin Story than liandrin's haha although faile telling perrin about it in detail was important for their relationship and that would've felt repetitive if the audience had already witnessed it firsthand). since her dad wasn't involved in the story about her mom and brother, it's a bit open-ended as to whether he survived that incident and whether he knows that his wife is a darkfriend and killed their son, so the door is open for him to arrive as an onscreen character in a future season but it's not SO wide open that he HAS to arrive. it feels flexible to me atm!

i was also really glad to see perrin tell faile about what happened with laila, and to see her offer him some understanding and reassurance. so far, these two are doing an amazing job at honesty and communication! well done team! i will be so intrigued to see how the laila trauma may or may not affect their relationship as it gets more serious (for example, i think we're all expecting it to be part of the reason why perrin gets so frantic and single-minded when faile is kidnapped).

moving over to the waste. rand & avi with alsera was soooooo sweet, i was melting! this scene served several good functions: it shows rand's good heart, it shows avi witnessing and feeling fond over rand's good heart, it shows rand's genuine willingness to learn about and engage with aiel culture, it shows avi witnessing his genuine willingness, and of course, it makes alsera's death at the end of the episode an even bigger gutpunch and really grounds us in rand's feelings during that moment (more on this scene later). if ep8 shows rand tending to the squash garden as he promised to do to meet his toh, i will never recover!

egwene learns some more about dream powers, and rand and moiraine finally talk after rhuidean, though moiraine still doesn't tell him about her alliance with lanfear. so once again, we have moiraine aware that lanfear is going to send trouble the group's way and choosing not to do anything about it, and this time casualties ensue, though unlike last time, moiraine didn't actually know what lanfear was planning, just that she was "sending a surprise". and i loved their convo about the power and rand suggesting that saidar and saidin might not have to be as different as Accepted Wisdom says!

the randgwene breakup FINALLY happened, but boy did they drag it out til the last possible second. i was fine with them wanting to spend more time on the breakup than the books did, but i'm not fine with it being an entire season-long arc that probably won't be fully emotionally resolved until 3x08 (if even then!) because the result is that both rand and egwene are, in some respects, lagging a full book behind in emotional development compared to where they should be at this stage of the story, and they are going to have to really play catchup next season. if we spent a WHOLE SEASON on the randgwene breakup, a good chunk of which was kinda showing that it's maybe not feasible or not a good idea for the dragon reborn to have a love life, how on earth are we going to convince the audience that rand should immediately bounce back and start dating elayne and avi next season? rand starting to dive into new romance only a few episodes after an extremely-emotionally-fraught breakup was finalized just feels like weird pacing, but hopefully the IRL time passage between s3&s4 would help it feel more organic for the audience. still, i just don't get why the show decided that the breakdown of randgwene needed 3 seasons but all the *endgame* romances can be introduced and canonized within a single season each time, and i'm not sure it's a decision i'll ever agree with even after seeing how everything turns out.

as for the actual content of the breakup convo, it felt to me like they were trying to do a "both sides have points" but it is very hard to make that feel balanced in the audience's eyes when one side's point is "you cheated on me with the most evil being in the universe" and the other side's point is "well you don't pay enough attention to me because you're always busy with your career". i don't think rand was TRYING to blame egwene or say "you pushed me towards lanfear by ignoring me", but it is very very easy to interpret it that way and interpret rand's side of things uncharitably based on the dialogue that's had. i do sympathize with both of them, as do other viewers who already loved rand, but for anyone who felt ambivalent or worse towards rand prior to the breakup, i'd imagine he's sunk even lower in their opinion because it is too uncomfortably close to real-world shit to hear a man express feeling neglected over his girlfriend not treating him as her #1 priority at all times (then again, people who already didn't care about rand continuing to not care about him isn't exactly a net loss). i mean, this was randgwene's issue back in s1 too so it's not anything new or out-of-left-field, but i wish rand's side of the conversation had leaned more on "you're obviously afraid of me going mad and you obviously don't trust me, and this makes me feel hurt and isolated and unsupported" - which, yes, i do think IS the main point he's trying to make, but they obfuscated it by having him latch onto "you keep choosing other priorities over me" as his initial grievance and that really doesn't make him look very sympathetic.

it's also a strange route to take somebody who is destined for a) a poly relationship and b) a poly relationship with two extremely duty-bound people. elayne & avi are going to present the same thing of having duties that are more important than their personal relationships and of not being able to treat rand as #1, so why have that be a noted point of romantic unfulfillment for him in his relationship with egwene? how are we going to convince the audience that rand is happy in a poly situation where his partners have other partners, after we've seen him express sorrow that he by himself isn't "enough" for egwene? again, feeling unfulfilled by getting the sense that you're low on your partner's priority list is 100% valid and reasonable, but it just doesn't strike me as something that suits rand's character in particular. but they had to take this angle with randgwene because they had to sell the idea that rand falls into lanfear's clutches because She's The Only One Who Understands Him.

i think if they'd instead done more throughout the season with egwene obviously being afraid of rand's mental state and rand obviously noticing her being afraid, and THAT is what makes him feel the most hurt with egwene and makes him more susceptible to lanfear's claims that she's the only one who accepts the dark parts of him, that would've worked much better for me in creating a balanced conflict between the two of them (because it's sympathetic that rand is hurt by this, but it's also sympathetic that egwene is afraid). that stuff IS there, but it didn't feel as prominent as the "i'm not enough for you and this makes me sad" angle, at least in the most recent randgwene scenes (perhaps because whenever the audience sees or hears about egwene's fear of rand, he is often not privy to it or she does a pretty good job hiding it from him; the only time i can remember him being aware that she's afraid of him is in 3x01 after the bubble of evil and also earlier when he assumed correctly that he'd terrorized her during her accepted test visions in some capacity).

but! this is all based purely off my own initial gut emotional reaction to the breakup convo. as it was playing out, i was thinking to myself "ugh, this isn't how i'd hoped it would go down at all, they're making rand look like a piece of shit" and i can't pretend that wasn't how i was feeling, but i definitely need to rewatch once the season is done and get a more careful look at what is actually said between them, and maybe i'll feel better about it then, especially since i'll be rewatching having seen the full conversation and knowing it ends up going in a better direction by the end of it even if it starts really messy AND having seen ep8 and knowing the final conclusion and emotional note randgwene is left on for the season.

speaking of that better direction, things i liked about the breakup convo: 1) rand ultimately says that egwene wanting More Than This Provincial Life is the very thing he respects about her, so that wins him some points back and reduces the "asshole who hates that his GF cares about things besides him" vibes*. 2) they make it very clear that rand had no CLUE lanfear's been torturing egwene and that he is extremely upset to find out about this (upset on egwene's behalf and realizing that lanfear is a lying liar who lies), so that's really good news! bit of a bummer we didn't have time to deal with the fallout of that this week and have to keep waiting (now TWO more weeks!), but definitely understandable that they want to save it for the big blowout between lanfear and the waste gang during the finale.

(*again, *i* didn't think of rand as this kind of asshole, it just strikes me that it would be REALLY easy for a lot of other people to think so based on watching that scene. ultimately, it comes down to, i don't think the show has done as well at making rand's feelings and his side of things clear to the audience as egwene's. it feels like it's much easier to see through her eyes than his on the situation. it feels like her perspective is much more intuitive and obvious at face-value than rand's, which requires some psychoanalyzing to understand. it feels like, if this were a book, the majority of randgwene's scenes this season would be written in egwene POV rather than rand POV.)

now moving on to the battle. first of all, sammael is obviously not dead and i'm gobsmacked that quite a few READERS think he is lmao (show-onlys being unsure i can totally forgive) of course they wouldn't have gone to the trouble of including sammael in the show only to give him 2 scenes and kill him immediately! this isn't the books where there's 13 forsaken and RJ can afford to blow through some of them in a few paragraphs, we only have 8 and we need to make them count! the show established clearly how hard it is to permanently kill a forsaken, ain't no way dropping a building on sammael was enough to take him out! i truly cannot believe that any readers actually think he's gone and will never be seen again!

he is credited for ep8, and currently he's unconscious and in rand's clutches. will we see him as rand's captive in ep8? that would track with the alleged audition script. could this lead into sammael taking asmo's role of being rand's captive teacher in s4? very possible, but also possible he manages to escape from rand in ep8 and goes on to be a menace in a wetlander city in s4. still, with the notable change that sammael is the weakest forsaken in showverse, that does make me lean towards him absorbing asmo (who is the weakest forsaken in bookverse) as being an easy target for rand to be able to keep as a captive long-term, even if a lot of readers get furious when anyone suggests asmo being cut haha we shall see!

avi busting in to save rand's life 🥰🥰🥰 (and egwene's too of course) and our first sight of her channeling! very exciting! i loooooove how much attention the show pays to giving channelers individualized styles: avi channels magic spears because that's the fight style she's previously been accustomed to. sammael channels with a giant hammer because he has a napoleon complex and is overcompensating for being the weakest forsaken.

and on that note, rand standing there decimating the entire building completely effortlessly, without even LOOKING at it, with his back to it as he's destroying it - stunning, gorgeous, i got chills. sammael getting his ass completely wrecked by rand while rand isn't even bothering to look at him would piss him off SO much and that delights me djfkgjh

and then the scene with alsera. oh my god!!!!!! this is the best scene of the entire season so far, for me. this is a better rand character moment than anything in 3x04 for me (don't get me wrong, 3x04 is a good episode, but as i mentioned at the time, it didn't feel like it was particularly about *rand* so much as it was about worldbuilding & lore & the aiel in general, so this scene with alsera was exactly the kind of impactful rand-specific scene i wanted). josha's performance just blew me away, it was absolutely phenomenal, and i've always thought he was doing great with rand but this was the moment where i really went "oh, yeah, he's going to NAIL late-series rand".

and i really liked that this happened in front of all the other main characters of this plotline, that they all bore witness to this huge moment of rand's emotional arc. moiraine stepping in to try and anchor him got me in the heart! i'm really craving a rand-avi scene in ep8 where they talk a bit about what happened; avi was the main person who witnessed rand's relationship with alsera, so she would make a lot of narrative sense as the person who talks with him about it afterwards, plus if we could maybe hear some of her feelings on rand's unhinged moment, it could help prod us a little bit closer to seeing why avirandlayne is a better fit than randgwene (or randfear). they've set up that egwene fears the dark parts of him and that lanfear revels in them, so it would be nice to see avi & elayne taking a middle ground of seeing and understanding and being prepared to handle the dark parts of him the way egwene can't while still firmly holding him to high moral standards and refusing to Make Him Worse the way lanfear wants to. i don't know, i could imagine ep8 having rand feel awful about losing control and scaring everyone, but avi approaches him and lets him know that she's not afraid of him while also encouraging him to work on improving his self-control. but a scene like this might be too much to hope for considering there's only 1 episode left for the non-perrin plotlines and so much to cover! even if it doesn't happen, it makes me happy to know that avi saw him at such a low moment and still will choose to love him and be with him.

on that note, i believe next week will be solely the two rivers plotline. nice to give the big battle its own devoted episode (i'm thinking happily of ROP 1x06 with the dedicated southlands battle episode, which i think is still my favorite episode of all of ROP so far), but boy is it going to be tough to wait 2 weeks to check back in with the waste plotline! another downside of dragging the randgwene stuff out so long and making it sooooooo messy and High Drama is that it feels like they've set up more than they'll be able to satisfactorily resolve in only one more episode, especially given how much other stuff needs to happen in ep8, but we'll see!

#wot #wot show spoilers #wot book spoilers

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imaginative-123 · 8 months ago

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Why Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss have a Misandry Issue Part 1

Edit: Minors do not interact, reblog or like my post bc I will block you.

A part of me questions myself if I have to make this post, but then I decided in my free time I finally let go of my doubts and have finally decided to make this post, bec deep inside I wanted to be honest with both of these shows how it depicts men including men who are part of the LGBTQ spectrum, the post will be me going in depth of the creator's shows, that includes the analysis and criticisms of Vivziepop's work.

TRIGGER WARNING:

This post will contain Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment, R@pe, Power Dynamics/ Power Imbalance, Misogyny and Misandry.

If you are uncomfortable with this topic that I'm going to discuss, you can choose not to continue reading this post however if you are willing to continue regardless of the contents and sensitive topics that I'm going to discuss, please proceed with caution.

So first let's talk about Misandry, since this term isn't as well known as Misogyny, Misandry's definition is the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e. the male sex). However Misandry is a term I didn't recognize being used until this year when I found on Reddit that there are few posts and comments talking about it compared to Misogyny, and it surprised me why isn't this term isn't as talked about but then in my experience on Twitter and Reddit that there are certain subreddits and other comments denying that "Misandry doesn't exist."

To which I disagree while yes I'm a woman, I do see and experience Misogyny in online spaces including in real world and other women face thru issues like sexism, physical and emotional abuse from other men, r@pe, sexual harassment and etc., that still doesn't excuse being biased and ignore what men faced thru in real life, there are stories I've seen from other men who were drugged and also being physically abused by their ex girlfriend or other women, r@ped and sexually abused by the older woman or in this case an older man, I've seen a video before of a guy singing on stage only to get groped on his dick by a woman and she laughed at him and at the end he was shocked and left the stage from embarrassment, falsely being accused of sexual assault, toxic yaoi fangirls sexually harassing gay or straight men of who's the top and bottom, little boys being molested or raped by older people, families and that includes male and female teachers, telling Men to stop crying bec Boys can't cry, there is also a Twitter post from a woman wishing Male Suicide rates go up, there are few Twitter posts from Women wishing to abort male babies from existing, ignoring Male SA Victims and laugh at their experience bec they got "lucky" and wish they got into their place, Media that makes jokes about Male SA and etc., seeing these stories from men who experience that really made me feel sorry for them and I don't think they deserved that. Plus, this isn't me discrediting female victims I do also support them including male victims, in regards to r@pe just bec it happens to women it can also happen to men including people on the LGBTQ community and nobody deserved to be r@ped, I'm not an SA Survivor, but I'm so glad I didn't experienced it bec of how traumatizing and horrifying r@pe is, and also a comment earlier I've seen on Reddit is that Women and children r@ped and died from the hands of men, yes I'm not denying it definitely exists but doesn't mean we can ignore that it can happen to men including little boys in the hands of their abusers and murderers. Also my brother was physically abused by my father and my sister had to witnessed the abuse on front of her, my Mom and Dad were always fighting personal problems and I was also physically abused by my father before my parents separated and it took me years for my father to changed as a person before he died in Sept 5, 2016 due to Stroke. Plus this year is his death anniversary, I understand if there are children who can't forgive their abusive parent but for me my father proved to me that he can change as a person and I have already have forgiven him before he died.

The main reason why I want to discuss Misandry bec it relates to Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss while I can see many posts discussing the main female characters and how they are handled by Vivziepop and I completely understand why the critical community have many posts and videos about that, the issues that happened with the male characters in regards to Misandry have few posts which is why I want to tackle it.

The next topic I want to tackle is the MLM or Gay Representation in the show Helluva Boss bec this also the main reason why I made this post.

Vivziepop and her crew loved to boast and pride about their Queer Representation but as someone who watched the show, as a bisexual woman myself, the Queer Representation is just as shallow and a mixed bag to be honest, the reason for that is Viv's depiction of gay men is not only misandrist but also sexist on how they were depicted. But before we deep dive to the male gay characters on how they were depicted I wanted to focus on the term that is mostly being used on fictional gay relationships that is Yaoi. Yaoi is a Japanese term for manga that features sexual romance between men, specifically as created by and for women. In the West, yaoi is used more generally to refer to any anime, manga, fan fiction, that focuses on romance between men. Although to be fair, Yaoi from what I've seen can also be consumed by gay men, the main reason I brought up Yaoi is that because Viv's shows are being accused of stereotypes about gay men such as fetishization of r@pe, power imbalance, sexual harassment and etc. That's because Yaoi is a very controversial subject in the community where there are gay people who are split about the depictions of gay men in Yaoi and BL's, there are gay men who dislike the fetishization and that it only appeals to women but there are others who defend it as just fiction.

For me personally I don't think there's an issue with consuming Yaoi or BL's and I'm not saying women can't enjoy it, but as someone who is desensitized to the stereotypes that BL I consumed in my earlier teen years I can't just ignore the real issue, bec back then I used to be a proshipper, I used to defend artists who were being sent death threats and harassments from antis and I used to defend problematic fiction and ships and I always go thru arguments with people who don't like it, I was offensive and also not mentally well in the past but as of this year I no longer support Proshipping since I do not stand by that including my not so great behavior from the past, but that doesn't mean I will not stoop down to the same level of antis that will harass or threaten proshippers and I don't accept that. However just bec it's fiction argument, it still needs to be criticized for valid reasons, and also just bec Yaoi have stereotypes does this mean the entire genre is like this? No, there are other stories who don't fall into the same problematic stereotypes, but still sadly, Yaoi and BL is still controversial for continuing it's stereotypical depiction of gay men and it's also mostly present in Webtoons and Manhwas.

When I revisited GoatJesus' video about Examining the Yaoi ★ BL Genre where he as a gay man analyzes but also criticize Yaoi's depiction of men but also praises other shows for straying away from stereotypes and there are certain parts of the video that stood out to me that I will put here where GoatJesus talks about the main points about Yaoi. To which I edited 2 clips into 1 video.

Regarding the women who write BL or Yaoi's, I'm not against women who write that specific genre, nor I'm mysogynistic that women have no freedom to write stories, and I do believe that not many female authors fall into writing stereotypes about gay men, however this does not mean that I can't just ignore that other women and other most popular female writers who still write harmful views onto gay men and this comment under GoatJesus video sums up my main issues from that online article that was being discussed.

The reason it's related to Vivziepop, bec Viv herself a female writer still falls into writing stereotypes about gay men and I will finally discuss on the subject of Helluva Boss first before Hazbin Hotel. The first characters we will going to tackle is Blitz, the main character and founder of IMP, and he himself is also confirmed to be Pansexual.

I'll be completely honest, Blitz is an interesting character, he himself have relationship problems of his insecurities getting in his way and mostly the mistakes that he made to people whom he used to be closed with, and he usually acts as confident and arrogant and badass on the outside but deep inside he had issues, but the way the show tackles jokes that Blitz made is really uncomfortable most especially in Season 1 where he made rape threats to Moxxie and his wife Millie.

That next episodes includes making demeaning jokes to Moxxie and let's not forget sexual harassment and invading space of the Imp couple.

The biggest problem is that Blitz up until Apology Tour had never tried to apologize for making Moxxie uncomfortable and invading him and his wife's personal space, while yes it is true that Blitz himself craves for a healthy relationship that he sees in them that doesn't excuse his past actions. This is not only the issue I see in Blitz's character this is also how other characters also treat him like dirt. Let's start with Loona, Blitz was a caring but also overprotective of Loona bec he himself first discovered Loona at the adoption center for Hellhounds where he saw Loona fending herself against a male hellhound who tried to hurt her and she herself was alone and crying about how depressing her situation was, which thankfully Blitz with good intentions did finally adopted her and became her dad, throughout S1 Loona herself was like any other emo goth girl but for Blitz regardless of Loona's personality still loved her, this however changed in Spring Broken where Loona developed a crush on Vortex and that's where Blitz developed his overprotective tendencies to which when they got in the human world where Loona tried to start a conversation with Vortex until Blitz interrupted them bec he wanted to focus on the main goal of getting back their parking space from Verosika and that's where they both started arguing bec Loona thinks Blitz can't leave her alone and she told him he's not her real dad and she herself views as an adult, Blitz cannot control his overprotective tendencies and Loona tells Blitz she doesn't need him. Loona later tries to apologize but Blitz cuts her off and tells her to enjoy her break while he continues finishing his job, although after Millie defeats the fish monster they both came back in the human world, in Truth Seeker, Loona and Millie where willing to rescue the boys who were left in the human world and being abducted by the Dhorks and Loona was willing to help her team defeat the members of the Dhorks and Loona was given a kiss in the cheek by Blitz and he was proud of her for helping IMP to which she was embarrassed but still continues fighting. The episode that stood out to me is Queen Bee which is the last segment where Loona takes care of the drunk Blitz and was willing to let him rest after Blitz tells her his insecurities of his fear of dying but Loona reassures him she will be there for him.

You know maybe Loona wasn't that bad to Blitz right? Right? Wrong, in the past I used to liked Seeing Stars bec of Loona and Octavia's relationship develop like sisters, yet this however doesn't excuse the problem on how Loona treats Blitz as she's suddenly violent and being abusive to Blitz for no reason like Blitz regardless of me not excusing how he treated Moxxie, but I don't recall him sexually harassing Loona nor talking about her body, all I remember is him trying to be a good dad to Loona yet somehow he's in the wrong for wanting Loona to be better and yet at the end get kicked in the nuts for no reason despite Blitz wanting to apologize to her because?

"HAHAHA! IT'S GIRLBOSS, AND FEMINIST TO KICK MEN IN THE NUTS FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN COMEDY! PLEASE LAUGH!!!"

That's not funny, that's insulting and it definitely regressed the development of Loona and Blitz father and daughter relationship in the first season. Loona however just like Blitz had never apologized for treating people in the wrong and the show somehow forgot about it and it just went back to normal. So anyways let's talk about Stolas, Stolas is by far one of the most controversial characters in the show bec there are people being split about his character, there are fans who loved him but there are haters who truly hated him, bec there are reasons the critical space is not fond or welcome of him, that's bec he has the power in the relationship bec he and Blitz were in a transactional relationship where Blitz is required to have sex with Stolas so that he can still borrow the Grimoire book to the human world for his business of killing people. The Reason there is a Power Imbalance comes from the fact that Blitz an Imp that is a lower class demon and Stolas is from the Goetia a higher class demon above imps and not only Goetias are also racists and looked down upon Imps with the exception of Octavia. This is the common trope that you may see in problematic relationships that also includes transactional relationships in Yaoi and BL's where the Seme has the power and masculinity in the relationship while the Uke is lower and have no agency of his free will and this is the equivalent of a heternomative stereotypes that is placed upon 2 men, while there are people who analyzed Yaoi said that it have Misogynistic tropes bec of hetenormative roles places upon men, I'd say in my opinion it's more Misandrist bec it doesn't view men in an actual gay relationship but in a lens of a straight person on how they view gay men. This is however in Helluva Boss the roles are reversed since Blitz is the top while Stolas is the power bottom, but let's be real if Stolas a Rich Goetia is the Top and have power in the relationship while Blitz is the bottom in lower class it would be much more controversial and people would see it more as sexual coercion. But bec the roles are reversed and why there are fans of the ship don't view it as toxic bec Stolas a gay bottom man was babyfied by the narrative that can't do wrong in the relationship and that Stolitz is just a misunderstanding of bad communication in a relationship when if anyone with critical lens would look deeper and see the relationship as problematic and there is a power imbalance in their relationship yet I found out that one of the fans of HB said that Stolitz is meant to be endgame by Viv, and I was like did Viv see nothing wrong in their relationship? The relationship was built from transaction, including Stolas sexually harassing Blitz in front of his daughter, was the result of cheating from his wife Stella as to why she was rightfully upset at her husband and it was retconned in Season 2 to make her a cartoonish villain with no depth compared to Stolas, and they were supposed to be canon at end? No thank you, Ma'am, Blitz deserved a better partner than Stolas or hell he could've fixed his relationship with Verosika since I found their relationship more interesting than Stolitz, yet Blitz was the one who should apologize to Stolas instead of Stolas taking accountability and not apologizing for looking down on him, sexually harassing him and having the power in the relationship. It's just frustrating to watch that not only diminishes the YT views of S2 compared to S1 but the relationship overtakes the premise of the show about assassination. Doesn't help the fact the show has the will they don't they kind of relationship where the show finds Stolitz to be romantic but also not romantic at the same just like how Viv and her writing staff view them.

Now let's talk about Chaz, he's the character I truly hate on my first viewing of him last year when the episode was released, he's the embodiment of everything wrong with Helluva Boss with it's overused of sex jokes relating to male genitalia or dick jokes and sexual harassment, the guy was just only part of Crimson's Mafia and being both Moxxie and Millie's ex boyfriend. His only character was just being annoying, talks about how sexy he was, his dick, sexually harassing Moxxie and annoying Millie and we don't exactly know why they break up, and his music theme is annoying to listen to. It's even worse that he's Pansexual and just like the main male characters in the show where they nonstop talk about their genitalia like Blitz, I'm serious what's the purpose of his character anyway? He almost serves no purpose to the narrative unless it was just him marrying Moxxie so he can get into Crimson's wealth. I'll be completely honest I'm glad he died, I felt so frustrated to watch him, and unfortunately he had a cult fanbase dedicated to him and there are others like me who don't like him either. I feel like I'm questioning Viv's view on gay men is disturbing to be honest.

Lastly, I wanna talk about Moxxie, my dear poor bisexual Moxxie, he was the character who was the the victim of sexual harassment, the butt of jokes, being humiliated for being in a healthy relationship with Millie that is being set in Hell. I do feel bad for how he was treated by the narrative that involves around SA, the show constantly makes jokes about Moxxie being SA by Verosika and her crew including Chaz and Blitz,

Doesn't help the fact in which he was forced to marry Chaz when he's also forced to wear a Wedding Dress against his will and was being tied up and turned to a damsel in distress for Millie to saved him, I'll be completely honest, I have no issues with Moxxie being Bisexual, the issue comes from the fact that the female and male characters humiliate and SA him and was being forced to a feminine role against his will, it's one thing if a gay man wants to express freely his sexuality and I have no issue with that, men can express being gay and not be shamed for it. The issue was that Moxxie was being forced against his will and it was irritating to see him like that, the last time the show never humiliates him is when he licks Blitz Asmodeus crystal to help him to activate and go back to the human realm bec Blitz conveniently can't activate it himself. However this does not excuse how the past episodes treat him.

This is the post I will make for Helluva Boss bec I have to rest and I will make a second post about Hazbin Hotel when I have time since there's a lot of stuff to unpack in another post. Just a reminder, this post I made have no bad intentions towards Vivziepop and her staff, this is just me a Bisexual Woman who consumes BL who was also being critical of the genre that I'm consuming and giving my personal and honest thoughts of Viv's depiction of her Gay men in her shows. Just a reminder if you want to comment on my post that's fine but I do not accept bigotry and homophobia, bec I might as well block you, all I want is a personal discussion of the gay representations being represented in the show. Thank you and Goodnight.

Edit: I just found out that there is a minor retweeted my post while I do understand that they are also critical of the show however my account says Minors do Not Interact since my post also tackles adult themes that is not suitable for minors and also I personally disagree with their views on Lucifer but regardless, if a minor sees this post please do not interact. Bec I might as well block you, I don't think an adult like me should be discussing adult stuff in front of minors in online spaces.

Update: This is the next post that lastly talks about Hazbin Hotel and Gay MLM Representation in Media.

Misandry, Sexism and Homophobia in the Yaoi Community

#helluva boss critical #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop critique #helluva boss critique #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel criticism #spindlehorse criticism #spindlehorse critical #spindlehorse critique

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jeminie-rising · 4 months ago

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One Second Fireworks

[ Inumaki Toge x Reader ]

link to AO3: [ One Second Fireworks by JEMINIE ]

summary: "His eyes now looking for the fireworks in the reflection in your eyes as they looked up in awe."

or, Toge gets called in from the Inumaki Clan for the holidays, but made it back to Tokyo just in time for the last chime of the new years countdown to steal the last grape from you.

warnings: Inumaki Toge uses sign language, Soft Inumaki, Inumaki says more than just rice balls ingredients, fluff, toge and reader being complete idiots in love, no smut!, toge thinks he’s not deserving :(, afab!reader, they're both so in love but can't admit to it (yet), Toge says more than just rice ball ingredients, there might be slight mischaracterisations, found family, everyone ate grapes at midnight, new years eve, Not actually unrequited love (they just shy), Panda is so supportive.

characters: inumaki toge, The Inumaki Clan, Fushiguro Megumi, Itadori Yuuji, Kugisaki Nobara, Zen'in Maki, Panda, slight Satoru Gojo, mentioned Yuta Okkotsu

word count: 5,379

authors note: hii! decided to write a part two of the Inumaki x reader Christmas one shot! will be putting them in a series, so it's easier to read through them. But definitely can be read as solo works too! Told myself that this would be a one shot but when would that actually be followed through? LMAOO (comments get to my head and make me want to write more ngl --they're just so cute pls)

FIND PART ONE HERE (a silent christmas) IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT YET!

and as usual, enjoy!! and happiest new year to everyone xx

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

A lot can happen in a year.

New year, new resolutions, new dreams, and new hopes. But not for you, you had a resolution, a plan, and a dream that has been on standby for nearly a year now. And it didn’t look like it was going to change anytime soon. It hasn’t been long anyways that you’ve known Toge, but it definitely felt longer than what it was. Time with him seemed to stretch just longer than you thought. And while he was away, if it were possible, it seemed unbearably longer.

“Have you guys counted your own grapes yet?” Nobara called out for everyone.

A silly little thing she and Itadori found online. You couldn't understand how the tradition of the 12 grapes suddenly had to be eaten from under the table. Growing up with your family, you ate the grapes with one another, twelve for the twelve last chimes of the bell of the year, only to be followed by a mouthful of cheers from one another. This year, when your family died, you truly thought you were going to spend it on your own. Fortunately enough, you found your way in the company of some good human friends and an equally great panda friend.

Unfortunately, one of those friends was missing. Inumaki, the same one that you wished, most of all, to be there, was called upon by his clan. He was to spend the holidays with his family, a long held tradition that dated for centuries. Unlike the one that you, Nobara, and Itadori were trying to create that same night. The Inumaki clan showed their solidarity for the members of their family that were cursed with the Snake Eyes and Fangs. For the entirety of the end of the year into the year to come, they were to pass their days in silence. A custom that the holders of cursed speech often had to go through their entire lives.

Toge never cared for having to limit his vocabulary. He never minded it, his friends always could grasp what it is that he wanted to convey anyways. His feelings and ideas always reached the hearts of those he cared for, and although it was hard to not be able to use full words, it was nothing compared to witnessing anyone he cared for be under the curse of his words. That was just what the kind of person Inumaki was. Exactly the reason why you initially fell for him.

Megumi, on the other hand, as the true spirit of his personality, was already complaining into the new year, “I still don’t quite understand why we have to do this? It’s not like we’re Spanish or Lati—”

“IT’S A TRADITION!” Nobara stomped her feet.

“Traditions require a transmission of customs for a regular amount of times, we’re doing this for the first time.” Maki supported Megumi. Perhaps such a personality ran in their blood.

“It will be fun!” Itadori tried to convince them, with his eyes on the clock. Only 27 more minutes left.

“I will eat the grapes, but I am not getting under the table,” Megumi stayed on his chair.

For lack of a better place, they decided to take a classroom of Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College and transform it for their year end’s party. It wasn’t much of course, a few decorations here and there, number shaped balloons showing the year that they were entering, and the food that covered their school desks that lined up in a long table.

“It’s not like I would fit under one either…” Panda chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

“Then perhaps, for solidarity, should we all just not go under the table?” You offered. You didn’t want Panda to feel left out if Megumi and Maki miraculously agreed to crawl under a table.

Itadori couldn’t help but nod to that. He too, would have felt too bad to leave out any member in their little game. “What if we just put the table mantles over our heads!?”

They all looked at him, his logic may have been a little far fetched but Nobara would have taken anything she could at that point. Time was ticking and she was not going to be single for yet another year. 14 minutes.

“Fine!” She finally agreed to it. “Table mantles… so stupid.”

“More stupid than eating grapes under a table?” Megumi laughed.

“If I am still single by the end of this coming year, y’all going to feel my hammer!”

Compared to crawling under a table, the idea of a table mantle over everyone’s head was not an idea that required as much convincing. Everyone looked like little disfigured ghosts and you couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of them.

You looked at your watch. 3 minutes.

Because everyone’s eyesight was covered, no one could keep looking at the clock. For a highly funded government school, it was hard to get a grab on a tv out there for them to use and move into the classroom. None of your teachers allowed for that. So Itadori had his phone propped up with a countdown from a stream online. 2 minutes. And your heart was beating in excitement as you held onto your paper cup filled with twelve grapes. The sensation was familiar to that of when you were near Inumaki. Or that one time he was holding you close, as he hid you from a first grade curse.

Memories of your year started flooding your mind. This could have been the worst year for you. Losing your entire family. Knowing you would have never had your life back and that your future was forever going to be cursed with the presence of… well, curses. But, at the same time, you also met all your new friends. You learned things about the world you thought were only myth and fantasy. You learned things about yourself you never knew. Pushed yourself to limits you never knew you even had. And, somehow, among all of them, the image of Inumaki’s rare exposed smile shone through.

“Here we go!” Nobara urged them, although the time was still long. 36 seconds. Anything could happen in that time.

In only a few seconds, you were able to reminisce the entirety of a year. In just one, the Earth travels 18.5 miles through space. In just a few seconds, you could try to call Inumaki and confess your undying love for him. In just the few seconds left you had, you grabbed the phone out of your back pocket and reached for Inumaki’s chat.

On the corner of your phone. 23:59.

On your watch. 21 seconds.

On the one-hand-typed message for Inumaki. Happy new year, Inumaki-senpai!

You hesitated, but then continued. I lov…

“Here, here, HERE!” Itadori chanted.

Your attention now on hearing the bells of the streaming. 15 seconds. And you were considering sending the message before the time so you could focus on the grapes. But in a panic, you placed the cup in the hand that held your phone, without sending the message, and started to get a single grape.

The people in the stream started counting.

TWELVE!

Everyone ate a grape.

ELEVEN!

Everyone was quiet. Only the sound of people munching and shuffling under their own table mantle could be heard along with the stream of the countdown.

TEN!

You were already struggling with three grapes. Remnants of the first grape were still at the back of your mouth, unable to swallow it all.

NINE!

You saw three dots bubbling from your phone.

EIGHT!

Your heart started to pound more as you tried to keep up with the grape counting and try to read whatever message you were about to receive.

SEVEN!

There was still no message. The sign of Inumaki typing was still there. You had to wonder if he was doing his own countdown or was he laying in his bed at home as silence haunted his estate.

SIX!

“I don’t have grapes of my own :(“ His text read. How did he know you guys were doing grapes? Your mind quickly went to Itadori, who kept updating him with pictures of each of you as the holidays went. You chuckled.

Hearing your chuckle, the others thought you were struggling with the grapes as they were.

“Dish ish soh ARD!” Itadori said in a mouthful.

FIVE!

“OCUS!” Nobara tried to bring their attention to the grapes. It was quite a hard feat.

FOUR!

You checked your phone again, the screen still on Inumaki’s chat. There were bubbles again. Oh, he definitely wasn’t counting down with family.

“Can I have some? :)” His text read.

THREE!

You see two feet in front of you. Who was walking around while eating the grapes?

You didn’t have much time to worry about it for now, Nobara might just scold your ass into the new year, as you stuffed your face with grapes.

TWO!

Then one hand lifted your table mantle enough to reveal Inumaki standing right in front of you. The shock of seeing him there made you freeze in your place. Grape between your two fingers.

ONE!

You forgot all about the twelve grapes. Eleven were already mushed inside your puffed cheeks, while the last one was now in Inumaki’s mouth, lips brushing against your fingers where it was just a second ago.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Inumaki winked at you. All you could do back was blink.

Everyone else removed their mantles too as the chimes stroke twelve and let out mouthful greetings and cheers. Inumaki was quick. He let go of the mantle he kept up to look at you and turned around to the others.

“Inumaki-senpai?!” Itadori reacted first, quite dumbfounded.

“TOGE! You made it!” Panda greeted him with a hug.

“[name] get out of there!” Nobara called out for you, still a table mantle on your head. “Look, Inumaki is here!”

You lifted the mantle with your free hand. The one Inumaki helped himself with by eating your last grape from. Your expression is still in shock, which worked in favour of Inumaki. It was exactly how he wanted you to look like, to not bring the others any suspicion.

“Uh– uhm,” you stammered your first few words of the year, “H-happy new year, Inumaki-senpai.”

The boy tilted his head as he smiled towards you. His cute crinkles framed his eyes. You couldn’t help but blush.

“Kelp!” He said, now to everyone present. “Tuna tuna!”

“You wanted to surprise us?! That is so sweet, Toge!” Panda feigned tears.

“Salmon!”

You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him. Your mind went through so many things. He often played pranks. He often aimed them at you and Itadori. Mostly because of how gullible you both were sometimes. But why did he have to wink at you and make your heart beat so fast?

You entered the new year with arrhythmia.

“Hey, let's cheer!” Itadori suggested.

This gave you the right excuse to keep your mind off of things. With decisive steps you walked towards the tables lined up and grabbed sparkling soda you guys bought. Being minors, they didn’t quite allow you to buy even the mildest of sparkling wines. Even though Gojo thought he could sneak some for you guys, Nanami highly pushed that idea aside by dragging him far from you and left with only a warning.

You were lining up the cups when Panda joined you. Quite surprised to see him there beside you, when one of his best mates just arrived from out of thin air. But he was there, grabbing the half empty bottle of soda, as he started to fill the lined up cups.

“You should talk to him,” Panda said as he filled the second cup.

“What?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

You stood there silently for a second, “why me? Why not talk to me?”

Panda only let her sit in her words for a few seconds as he stared at her from the corner of his eyes.

“Okay fine, I do realise the stupidity of my words,” she admitted. “But that’s exactly my point! I can’t do words when it comes to Inumaki-senpai!”

Panda chuckled, “You have a far greater vocabulary than him, I am sure you can string along some words to make up something good enough. Besides, he would understand you even without pretty words.”

You tilted your head at him confused.

“The Inumaki clan… learnt how to communicate with their heart,” he explained.

You sat on his few words for a while, until he finished filling up the last cup, calling the others to get their own cups. It didn’t take long before everyone had their paper cups up in the air, cheering for the new year ahead.

“To us!” Itadori cheered.

“To less missions!” Nobara said.

“To even lesser hard exams,” Panda pleaded.

“Spicy cod roe!” Inumaki brought Maki and Megumi closer.

“Cheers, guys!” Maki joined the enthusiasm.

“Cheers,” Megumi said, not as excitedly as the others but with a clear smile on his face.

“To Gojo-sensei for having begged the principal for us to use this classroom!” You laughed.

“TO GOJO-SENSEI!” Everyone clinked their cups together.

Everyone downed their soda in a matter of seconds. Being just sparkling sugar, you’d think they were drinking alcohol from the expressions they were making. Inumaki stepped towards you, although his mouth was already covered just after drinking soda, you could tell he was wearing a smile.

You looked at him, awaiting for one of his ingredients to be called out. But instead he pointed towards your pocket, where you stored your phone away. It didn’t take you long to understand he was calling for it. Was he going to use it to type out what he needed to say? Wouldn’t have been the first time. He often used your phone to type out whatever complex thing he had to say.

However, this time, when he took your phone after you unlocked it, he didn’t open the Notes app. You weren’t looking at the screen, after all this time, you learnt to wait patiently for him to finish typing instead of pressuring him by hoarding his space.

After chuckling at your phone, he faced your own phone towards you. The screen flashed onto your chat with him. It confused you at first, until you read the half-typed message you had for him.

Happy new year, Inumaki-senpai! I lov

Your eyes widened. Your following actions fast, as you reached out to grab your phone. However, his were even quicker, pulling his hand back in the air. You knew, with your current fighting skills, you could only take on Inumaki for a little more than a minute before he had you floored. He was the only semi first grader among the students present anyways. With the dress and heels you were wearing, insisted by Nobara, you could bet it was even less than so. Even without the use of his cursed speech.

“Inumaki-senpai please–”

“Bonito flakes,” He cut you off by shaking his head, and continued wiggling his eyebrows “Tuna~?”

You looked around, everyone was busying themselves by talking to one another. It wasn’t new anyways that Toge teased you, so they did not bat an eye as you cried out for your phone. But you still hushed your voice as you stepped closer to him, “I was typing with one hand! I had my cup in hand, my fingers must have slipped–”

He shook his head again, this time chuckling at you.

“It’s true!” You insisted.

It wasn’t far from the truth, anyways. But you couldn’t help but think if this would have been a good opportunity to finally tell him how you felt. You could have let your past self say what your present self couldn’t, but not like this. Not from a message. You didn’t want to confess to your crush through half-written unsent text.

You thought maybe it was time, maybe you could welcome the new year by following through your backlog of resolutions. You gathered all the courage you had before you could hear a loud bang, bringing all of you to attention outside. Being trained sorcerers your first instinct was to get ready for a fight, but it all seemed silly as colours filled the night sky of Tokyo.

“FIREWORKS!” You, Itadori, and Nobara exclaimed. You already forgot all about the half-written confession you had. Fireworks now filled your view and entire mind.

“Let’s go out!” Itadori jumped, not even grabbing a scarf to warm himself before hopping over the big window to the outside.

You laughed, only to follow him excited as he was. Forgetting all about your own jacket too, and other matters, in the building. Excitement was enough to warm you up.

“Hey, wait for us!” Panda was trying to follow suit, as he wrapped himself with a scarf before getting out. It wasn’t long before everyone had followed after Itadori, who was completely immersed in the fireworks that they all could see in the skies.

These had to be programmed by the city of Tokyo, you thought, there was no way civilians could master nor have enough money to afford such grand fireworks. Your group managed to get a hold of sprinklers and small fireworks that you had planned to light up in the courtyard. But they were nothing as beautiful as the ones in the sky.

You had your head tilted back, admiring the lights. You have always adored lights. Your family would always bring you to firework shows and other kinds of light shows, since you were a child. When the biggest streets of a city would finally put up their Christmas lights, you were always there for the first night of lighting it up. The winter holidays season was always your favourite, only followed by the summer festivals with their crazy firework shows.

The memories of the summer festivals’ fireworks warmed you up enough to forget it was actually dead winter that night. It didn’t occur to you the cold that was beginning to crinkle up from your feet. You looked around to your friends, all of them were also looking at the skies, smiles planted on everyone’s face –even gloomy Megumi.

“That one had to be the biggest one yet!” Nobara screamed to be heard by everyone.

“No! There’s gonna be a bigger one –I know it!!” Itadori jumped.

“Salmon!” Inumaki couldn’t help but agree with Itadori. And just like that, a sprinkle of bright silver almost enveloped the entire sky in a big big dome. Everyone wow-ed in a chorus, and Inumaki had to take away his eyes from the beautiful show long before the sprinkles were gone, only to look at your reaction.

He inched closer, with intentions in his step. His eyes now looking for the fireworks in the reflection in your eyes as they looked up in awe.

Perhaps the whole ‘you're the most beautiful view’ was quite cheesy for his tastes, but he couldn’t help but be exactly that whenever it came to you. He always found cheesy lines lame, overly sweet love songs cringy, and in love characters in movies who refused to be together for the smallest inconveniences to be stupid to the point of frustration. But hell was he starting to understand them the days he first met you.

It wasn’t quite exactly love at first sight. You came to the school all battered up, it was only a few days after Itadori had come in, and everyone was surprised to see a new student so soon. Your eyes, unlike right now, were hollow and at a loss of life. Inumaki only heard of what happened to you. Losing your family and that same night, being approached by a stranger with blindfolds, who insisted on you following him to a quite suspicious secluded school claiming all sorts of weird things (knowing Gojo-sensei, he wasn’t the best at explaining what curses were and this new world was that you were about to embark in).

When Inumaki saw you for the first time, your head was tilted down instead of up to look at the sky. His first feelings towards you were out of sympathy. He wasn’t quite sure when the many other feelings began to creep in. Maybe it was the way you’d always make space in the conversation for him. The way you asked him questions so he could just say yes or no to them. The way you began to bring around an extra bottle of cough syrup with you in your pocket for him even when neither of you were on a mission.

But he knew it for sure the day of his birthday. You’ve been in the school for a few months by then and he wasn’t sure how it was that you found out about his birthday. But you had prepared a gift just for him. You insisted it was silly, and that it might have been more work for him than giving him a normal material gift, but in his heart, that was everything.

Feeling some eyes on you, you looked around to see Inumaki already staring at you. A hidden soft smile planted on his face. You tilted your head to the side, smiling at him. Clearly you already have forgotten your interaction earlier. Inumaki couldn’t help but chuckle again at you. Quite adorable, he wished to say.

You brought your finger up to point at him. He followed your gestures, already locking in to read them. Then you brought the same hand to both of your shoulders, the left then the right, tilted your head again to show your worry.

Are you okay?

Inumaki couldn’t help but smile fondly. That was one of the first few things he learnt ever since you gave him that guided tutorial on basic Japanese Sign Language for his birthday. Turned out, ever since you met him, you’ve been studying how to do sign language to effectively talk with him. Then, ever since his birthday, he caught up with you, almost being better at it than you are, despite how much longer you took to learn.

Inumaki gave you a shake of the head. But gave no other gestures to explain himself. You could only frown, but your hands were instinctively already going towards your pocket. Inumaki knew what you hid in there –his cough syrup– he stopped your hand with his own, feeling how cold yours were compared to his.

Having followed Itadori out without thinking, you left your jacket inside. Fortunately, Inumaki was more prepared than you, and he calmly but surely took off his own jacket to place it around your shoulders.

“Oh no, I am okay!” You insisted.

But Inumaki was shaking his head once again, “Bonito flakes.”

You frowned, “why aren’t you okay? Are you not enjoying the fireworks?”

Being so close to one another, you didn’t have to scream to be heard from one another. You could have raised your voices a little louder, but at that point, both of you were quite scared to be heard by the others a few steps away from you.

“Bonito flakes,” Inumaki replied, smiling. At this point, you already knew all the expressions he could give with just the use of the upper part of his face.

“What is it then?” You asked, encouraging sign language by already looking at his hands for some gestures.

However, Inumaki didn’t do any sign language. Instead, he brought out your phone again, having kept it in his hand that whole time. Refusing to let go of it, as if he couldn’t let go of the half-written message you left in it. Only then, the realisation of what happened earlier came back to you in a flash. Another firework banged the moment you lost a beat of your heart.

“Oh,” was all you could manage to say.

You stayed there, fidgeting on his jacket, closing it in –partly in hopes to hide yourself under it. Inumaki, though, he waited patiently for you. Something he found himself having to do more than you did for him. With his limitations, he learnt how to effectively communicate with the little he had in record times. However, with all the words, sign language, texting, and writing you could manage, you still struggled to form anything close to coherent that could have you satisfied. Your conversation with Panda came back to your mind.

But before you could muster even the lamest word you could think of, Inumaki called for your attention, “Tuna.”

Although he was patient, he also was eager. He wanted to start this new year already, and, in his mind, he couldn’t begin it until he made sure of your feelings. You looked up at him, and as much as he wanted to hear you say the words, he could see it all in your eyes. That was one thing he was most glad to have inherited and learnt from his family. Communication from the heart. No words needed. And although it may have come unintentional to you, Inumaki could have understood all your emotions from the day you stepped into Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College.

All the words you never said, but showed instead. Before you even started conversing in sign language, before you could even get a grasp of his onigiri ingredients, you could already speak his language –that of the heart.

But as crystal clear and plain as day as it was for him, his feelings might have not been clear to you without speaking them. He couldn’t expect you, nor anyone, to know his thoughts and feelings without expressing them. Maybe that’s why you asked him so many questions. It was your own very way to know his feelings and thoughts. However, this time around, it was his turn to close that gap.

For the many times she adjusted to him, he was ready to adjust his own language to her.

You brought your index finger up and shook it, and asked, “what is it?”

Time seemed not to pass. For Inumaki, it was still midnight. It was still the same second he got courage to eat your last grape from your fingers. For him, the only sign of time passing were the fireworks changing in the background. Unlike the warm lights from that Christmas eve at his estate, many different colours lightened up your face.

With only that, he got enough courage to finally say it. May all the precautions be thrown out the window. He was always scared to fall in love. He was never sure how it would turn out to be in a relationship where he couldn’t even say how he felt. But the more time passed, the more it seemed possible with you. A fever dream, suddenly, became a goal –a reality.

He slowly unzipped his collar, showing his entire face. You, with the bunch of times you’ve seen his bare face, were still quite hypnotised by the tattoos on both his cheek. Once you got a snippet of the one on his tongue, making you wonder how much it hurt to get it –or was it something he was born with like his curse? That was a question you haven’t gotten to ask yet, you thought.

Inumaki noticed how you shook your head slightly, before bringing your eyes back up to his, with a slight blush on your face. This little act made him smile, and it took a little bit of his nerves to not hide himself behind his collar again. How was it that it only took a little undone zipper, to make you both so bashful.

He sighed deeply, calming himself to regain the confidence he had just a second ago. He clapped his hands on his face, and this surprised you quite a bit. But the surprise was enough to melt the nerves away, making you giggle at the oddity of the moment.

He brought his hands to your shoulders, begging again for your attention, “Tuna.”

“Yes,” you nodded, for how little you could hear him in between the fireworks, you focused on him. “I’m listening.”

He slowly brought both of his thumb and index finger to each side of his chin. Each finger on his tattoos. He kept them there for a few fireworks exploding in the sky. Frozen.

“Inumaki-senpai?” You asked, your eyes slightly widened.

He wasn’t done, of course. He had one more gesture to do, in order to say what he wanted to say, but your mind was already trotting like a horse at thousands kilometers per hour. You knew that sign –or at least the one he was setting himself up for. You used it constantly.

It was one of the first few things you learned to express yourself to him. On a summer day, how you liked the flavour of ice cream you picked, but preferred his. How when you were starting to get to know him, you told him how you liked science as a subject but absolutely loathed maths. And of course, you often used it to talk about your favourite movies and shows. There was not a day that passed when you wouldn’t use it. Inumaki, seeing you do it countless times, got the hang of the kind of person you were. Loving and expressive.

He needed to take your example.

He began to slide the fingers to connect them at the tip of his chin. But then it was disrupted by Itadori’s cheers.

“Happy new year guys!”

He hugged the both of you, each arm on each of you bringing you closer to him. Inumaki could only see Panda by the side of his view crossing his arms in an ‘X’ over his head to Itadori. But it was too late. The moment was gone. Another came flooding in from the group of friends.

Inumaki didn’t even notice the lack of fireworks. They were done, marking the end of his chance. That second to midnight lasted almost an hour and he still didn’t make it. He was disappointed, sure, but it took one look at you to see you laughing for him to forgive the others’ disruption rather quickly.

“Spicy cod roe!” He cheered with them after a small sigh of defeat.

“Happy new year, Itadori!” You laughed under his arm.

“Let’s get in to continue the party!” Nobara started ahead, rubbing her hands together in the cold. You were pretty sure she wanted to go back in to get warm.

The others didn’t idle, following her suit. It was only you who hesitated for a second, looking up to the sky. There were no more fireworks, you’ve missed most of them, but it was alright. You had a moment with Inumaki. You weren’t fully sure what he was about to say (or sign), but you had a moment. What was left of the fireworks were only smokey clouds and stars that, despite the lights of the city, could still be seen.

There weren’t many, but they were there. A bunch. Shining above you all as you entered the new year. And even if the others weren’t seen, you knew they still were there. Exactly like what Inumaki knew your feelings to be. You still haven’t fully confessed your feelings, but he knew they were there. And for now, as he watched you look up to the sky for stars while wearing his coat, he was just going to have to be content with it.

“Happy new year, [name].”

You looked down at Inumaki, hearing his voice again saying something other than onigiri ingredients since Christmas. Your heart started to beat faster, but this time, there were no fireworks to hide it. You only wished he was far enough to not hear it slamming against your chest. With his wish for you you could feel the new year starting great and only becoming better.

You smiled at him, as he zipped his collar back up. A faint smile hid slowly behind it and you could swear his mouth moved more, but his collar was already all the way up for you to hear or read his lips.

“Happy new year, Inumaki-senpai!”

91 notes · View notes

absolutebl · 1 year ago

Text

These Weeks in BL - This Is Very Late, Or Right on Time depending on where you sit on the temporal debate team

Sorry I got distracted by work. In my defense: I was paid.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 1 & 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 12 fin - Unfortunately, there was singing. But what can we do?

A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth, with no-fuss execution from a consummate team and an OG lead pair proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up. Look, here’s the thing, Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right not comparing it to any other iteration. But even when I do compare (and I've seen all the Cherries and read the manga) it still stands. This is a great show, a solid adaptation, and a pleasing take on the original yaoi. I personally like it better than the Japanese live action, but I think that’s because I just really like Thai BL and I LOVE TayNew. I doubted them for this and I shouldn’t have. They did a great job, as did the sides. I will say all the kissing was both present and better than any other iteration. As it should be. Definitely one for the rewatch rotation. 9/10

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 1 of 8 (10?) - Damn it, I love it. And I don't want to. It’s more classic BL than I thought it would be, and far less Only Friends or Playboyy. (Thank fuck.) We got a big cast and a lot of tropes going down out the gate, including SMITTEN popular hot guy versus nerd with secret identity. (Incidentally, Khem did drop into rude / informal when arguing with his Aunt and defending his ma. Bratty boy.) The leads have good chemistry (First always does), and everyone is very pretty. The main boy reminds me of J-Min's role (and look) in Love Class 2. I am entertained. (And faintly wonder why this isn't a MosBank vehicle.)

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) eps 1-3 of 8- High school sweethearts who had a bad break up reunite a decade later when both of them have full time jobs (celebrity & doctor). Dr Ji is a familiar face (hi Dream it's been a LONG time) and everyone is way too old for high school, but I guess I prefer this to child actors?

I'm enjoying it, actually, the cast may be older but they're solid as a result and the chemistry is on point for a pulp. Whether our celebrity is on the DL or cheating or something else remains to be seen but he sure is smitten. The way he LOOKS at Ji = hawt.

Frankly? Celebrity/doctor is a good pairing and this is a solid Thai BL. I hope we have a nice angsty reason for the break-up and we're not in another Promise situation. I like the sides too. Carry on, little show, I'm disposed to be pleased with you.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 12 - I am enjoying it, actually. It’s incredibly silly. But I don’t really mind. STOP SINGING.

1000 Years Old eps 3-4 of 12 - I love that these kids basically adopted a vampire pet. And one of them accidentally got a vampire boyfriend. This suddenly turned from a PNR into a family drama about domestic gays opening a food stall and I'm not mad about it. Nothing makes sense and I don't care because... rainbow umbrella!

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV grey) eps 1 of 10 - I don’t love it. I make no bones about the fact that a pining uke rarely works for me, especially if he’s younger (cute supportive besties not withstanding), the power dynamic isn’t good. I always like Kimmon, he’s a stiff actor but v pretty. (I shallow af.) Still it’s time he started acting his age… literally. Having to watch ads again as well… for this? Ooof. I'm not sure I'm strong enough.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 6 fin - It was very cute. I liked that there was uke instigated kisses. However I have some reservations on this one, much as I enjoyed it.

Adapted from Mayo Tsurakame’s manga, production team included Tadaaki Horai (My Love Mix-Up!) and Takeshi Miyamoto (Old Fashion Cupcake). Essentially Perfect Propose was about finding hope in a person when all other hope is gone. This show focuses on apathy, and perforce is somewhat apathetic and un-engaging especially as the pacing was off (and with only 6 episodes? now) However, this is countered by great visuals, good archetypes, and a clean story of childhood sweethearts reuniting after loosing their way in life. I landed on 8/10 mostly for a demanding younger seme and some great kisses.

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube) eps 2-3 of 11 - Oh it’s great. I love it. I’m still worried by how gritty and "Taiwanese short-esk" it feels, but wow does this hit all my favorite taboo tropes and buttons. I also adore the little found fam, they the cutest gay older bros ever. The younger one who wants so bad to grow up and take care of the older one and pushes himself because into self sacrifice that’s the only model of love he has. ARGH. BOYS. Why so much pain, just smooch already! Sheesh. It's on YouTube for some of us, here's the schedule.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) eps 6-7 of 10 - They remain questionably cute, and that is probably going to be my ultimate review of this show. Awe cameo! (Hi babies, hope the ghosts are leaving you alone.) The irony does not escape me that the person in the relationship with the most emotional acumen is, in fact, the robot and not the human. I'm sure that's meant to be deep.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - A tortured second chance romance featuring a reported and a successful celebrity(?) academic. The kid actors look nothing like their adult counterparts, but they do look much younger. So, okay. Ah the utter embarrassment of first love. Oh I like it a lot, so very messy Japanese emo. Sigh. Here we go again.

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) eps 8-9 of 10 - They are a cute couple. They both trying so hard and so confused and awkward and polite in trying to understand each other but TERRIBLE at communication.

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - I don’t know how I feel about this. But I do know it’s not my thing because it’s not BL. I’ll finish it because it’s short but… meh.

It's done, ready to binge, but I have no time

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master (Vietnam YouTube) - I will try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will watch eventually.

It's airing but...

Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - finished it's run and I won't be watching it. It's horror with BL elements and the ending, well, let's just say that's a "no thank you" from me.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… no. I'm not watching this. I dislike this franchise.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

Takumi-kun (2023) movie version AKA Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa released on FOD 3/5/2024. The original project was a 6 ep series. Having seen all the previous iterations and read the (terrible) yaoi I admit to being intrigued. If anyone finds eng subbed please let me know with a link in comments or in a DM? For those intersted in this show, probably the world's first true BL franchise I chat all about it here.

Gossip

James Supamongkon has withdrawn from the series Love Upon A Time and the NetJames pair is no more. Net Siraphop will continue with the historical BL project alongside a new partner. Can I interest you in Tod Techit... almost as pretty, legs for days...

The Complete Chronology of the Assault Case Against GMMTV Actor Win Pawin

I'm merely directing your attention to these articles, I do not wish for discussion of this content on this blog. Please don't ask for further info, I don't know the answer, follow the link that's why it's there.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Still Coming

3/21 Two Worlds (Thai IQIYI) 10 eps - announced here. One of those "he's dead Jim so time travel" thingames staring MaxNat. I'm over them but Asia flipping loves this trope and I do adore MaxNat. Phupha (Gun) and Khram (Nat) love each other but Phupha is murdered. Then Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, 12 years ago, Khram and Tai (Max) were in love. However, Khram was killed by Thai’s dad. Now Tai finds alter-Khram apparently alive. But then there is ALSO an alter-Phupha (played by Gun Thanawat who is Khom the repressed butler bodyguard from Unforgotten Night).

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

How flipping adorable is this vampire with his big gay umbrella? SUCH A DORK and we got more vampire dorks coming.

Thailand has found its vampire line and it's awkward and geeky and quite cheerful. 'Bout what we expected, to be fair. It's a good look for them.

And vampires.

In other news...

That's your random moment of thirst, Lim Jimin shirtless AKA my Just B bias (I mean, I could talk about how good his extensions are and how I love a husky voice in Kpop but really, just LOOK at him). I'm very very very shallow, remember? Full vid is here.

Why am I mentioning Lim Jimin (aside from the obvious)? If Just B doesn't break soon, I could some of them transitioning to BL. Jimin in particular would be a win for us, obvs.

Also, can we talk about Bain (my bias wrecker) KILLING it on Build Up? I had no idea he was that good. Anygay, this has been your Kpop end note.

Seriously tho, is ANYONE else watching Build-Up?

(Last week - well, 2 weeks ago)

Streaming services are listed how I'm (usually watching) which is with a USA based IP

The tag bragade: @doorajar

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will. Easy peesy.

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pink-ninja · 6 months ago

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I'm on a Ninjago ranting spree lately and really hot take but Koko isn't really too much better of a mother than Misako was and I'm tired of pretending she was

(not proofread btw, I wrote this in the middle of the night so there may be some grammatical mistakes)

So many people hate on Misako for abandoning Lloyd at darkleys and like yeah deserved. Koko is NOT that much better of a mother and I had a whole rant about this with my friend a few weeks ago.

So first of all let's start with the beginning of the movie, Lloyd wants to skip school, stay at home, not feel miserable on his birthday. And Koko tells him those are the best years of his life etc. and knowing Lloyds character he probably does keep it a secret of just how badly he's being treated but as Garmadon said "Look who's the absentee parent now" Koko had to have known to some extent Lloyd wasn't being treated well, she told him he just has to let people see the real him, when he comes home late and Koko is calling someone they ask her if he's turned evil and joined his father etc. Garmadon said she wantsd a normal life for Lloyd. Yet she also kept the last name Garmadon for Lloyd. She told garmadon she always told Lloyd he shouldn't be ashamed of who his father is, when his father was basically a terrorist, "boo Lloyd" became a top hit, people played in on the radio, Koko HAD to have heard it at least once. The real question is if she wanted a normal life for Lloyd why not give him her maiden name instead of Garmadon's name, she could've told Lloyd who his father is when he was old enough to understand, it could've been Lloyd's choice if people knew or not. Yet she basically stuck a label on Lloyd that would follow him his entire life they Lloyd was related to the guy that attacks the city multiple times a week.

Yes, Koko is super sweet and caring towards Lloyd, yes she cares for him, but that doesn't make her an amazing mother compared to Misako. There was so much Koko could've done in my opinion that would've spared Lloyd from being treated so terribly by pretty much everyone in Ninjago, again, given Lloyd her maiden name, heck she could've just let Lloyd stay home from school on his birthday, I don't think that was an unreasonable request from Lloyd. Also maybe not pushed him to see Garmadon in a good light, When the whole city hates Lloyd just because of Garmadon. I know it's a movie plot point but if Koko really didn't want Lloyd being ashamed of who his father is she could've told him the story of how she and Garmadon met. I think that would've given Lloyd some extra much needed closure instead of my father couldn't care less. In my opinion Koko more of put on something similar to rose colored glasses, she was super oblivious to just how much Lloyd was struggling until it was too late.

And I know misako isn't perfect again, but Misako also has her moments, she's more transparent with Lloyd the dynamic is also different in the show rather than the movie so I think after the first time Misako knows Lloyd is 1. Not a little kid anymore and 2. Has people (the ninja and Wu) that'll be there for him since the ninja are shown to have way stronger of a family bond in the show rather than them just being close friends in the movie.

#lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #lloyd garmadon #ninjago lloyd #koko ninjago #ninjago misako #misako montgomery garmadon #ninjago movie

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candlelightreader · 26 days ago

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Can we talk about how Athena has, for a very long time now, not been allowed to just be a woman and not a wife, a mother, a widow (essentially), or a cop? Especially in the last two seasons. She does not appear to be allowed to just be, to chill around the house or have fun doing whatever that doesn't include work or family. Does she go to the gym or have kickboxing classes? For Athena, there's not even going out with a coworker like Buck and Ravi, or with a friend, like she used to with Hen. Even just hanging out with May to go for a mani pedi (yes that would still be mother role, but there is a hit of girlfriend vibe to that too). Michael gave her an opportunity to have a friend outside the first responder group too. But now he's gone, what does she do? Who she talking to? She done chatting with people? Maybe a big part, as many have pointed out, is because she has not clear arc lately.

One could argue that Bobby didn't havr spacr to just be a guy, as he just goes to work, hangs out with his wife very occasionally lately. But he likes cooking, skating, and he's dealing with his alcoholism and Wendell, which I think is about him just being a man and a friend to a non-work person. Bobby's addiction is a major piece about his character that is not relationship or work driven and it's huge! I know that we don't have a sense of what everyone in group like to do outside of work, really. Bobby doesn't have a lot, for sure, but it is something... Was gonna say watching hockey but I think that's just fanon?

Athena, in contrast, has nothing other than reading--is that the only hobby she has and can we count it? Even when we see her do something new, like going running, which we are told is something she did at school, it was really about Bobby. We are told she hated the cruise mostly because she was looking forward to exactly zero of the activities. She wanted to do nothing! So, she has no interests beside mystery books and diner parties with friends? I hesitate to put diner parties cause that's not just her enjoying a hobby or chilling. It's really weird how much thinner she is sketched out compared to the other main character, Bobby.

We may surmise she enjoys live tweeting her fave shows and dancing, but these were things we saw her doing with Bobby and that was so long ago it is embarrassing (and the TV thing was one time, sixish years ago, so does it count?).

I think that if we consider that Athena and Bobby are the main, it doesn't matter that we have little sense of what the others do. It's thinner, but could be considered to be more than Athena or barely less, which says something: we know Eddie likes MMA and basketball, Buck bakes and I guess works out(?), Chim and Hen hang out together, while Hen also hangs with Athena, Ravi has real estate, and Maddie we really have no idea. Not knowing what the others do is ok to me--they are not the main, though of course they are main cast. And Athena being barely flushed out comparatively is pretty comical. We know more about Eddie's non-work activities than we do for Athena!

Anyway. Just rambling because I'm sad and sad for how the do Athena dirty every time. She deserved better. As the one who doesn't have an entourage to just chill with outside of active calls, over the course of an episode, she should get to do stuff!

#athena grant #athena grant nash #911 abc #bobby nash #bathena #bathoughts #911 fam #Also #the Brad situation is him having a relationship outside of his wife and his work #although technically he works with Brad at the time.

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ariemfox · 3 months ago

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ASK FOR YOU: for my story i’ve been considering this, but you’re way better at these characters than me so i’d love your insights:

What kind of relationship do you think Chase and Adam’s have? I feel like Chase and Park’s friendship is pretty easy to see and understand and gets a lot of focus, but Chase and Adams to me seem weirdly disconnected — we’re told by House and Park they flirt and are kind of into one another, but I’m not sure we really see it from them. I’m ultimately not sure if I’d call them friends or colleagues or what, but I could also be completely wrong and missing a whole dynamic. What do you think?

oof so this is something that my penpal friend/mutual (an all-round absolute legend) have discussed a whole lot, so these ideas are kinda of our conflated thoughts.

the thing about chase & adams is that though they are distant, they understand each other almost intrinsically. so to understand their relationship, we need to look at their similarities and differences.

they both have exes and know what it's like to be divorced and abandoned by them. they also have similar backgrounds: adams is from a rich & old american family (implying related to the presidents with the last names of adams), and chase is also from a rich family with his famous dad. they both have priveleged lives in that sense, but have hugeee guilt complexes to go along with that. whilst chase's guilt complex tends to surround catholic themes bc of the way he was raised, adams' guilt is focused upon her rich privelege (and how she feels she doesn't deserve it compared to other people) and crucially, her parents.

this brings us on to another similarity, their families. we all know that chase's family was a shithole, end of discussion. but with adams, it's a little more complicated. now, this is where it gets v meta so hold on to me here, bc it does make an insane amount of sense.

in the 'parents' episode, house is on a miasion to find out what adams' parents did to Fuck Her Up. she reveals she ran away at 16, and adams insists that it was not because her parents were abusive or 'screwed her up' like house says, it was because when compared to her friends' neglectful/abusive parents, she 'envied their dysfunction' bc she thought 'it made them deeper somehow'. she moved in with an older guy at SIXTEEN (might i add that chase also fucked the groundskeepers wife in his weird english priest boarding school too, another dodgy similarity). and apparently, her parents never got over her running away.

first of all, what normal, well-adjusted person thinks this. second of all, it definitely speaks to some kind of some kind of wmotional gaslighting on her parents side. the amount of excuses she makes for her parents, and the shows emphasis on making the emotionally-abused patient in 'runaways' adams' mirror, this is adams' character episode where she gets personally involved and constantly tries to excuse the patient's mother's behaviour. my lovely friend/mutual @x-birdsong-x explains this beautifully in this tumblr post if u want more details:

there is an almost innate sadness to adams that's only ever implicity shown. her life feels very... empty - we know almost nothing about her background bc she's so evasive about it, particularly when compared to park. take the scene in parents where chase asks what her parents did to fuck her up, and she evades the question by joking they did white-collar crime & human trafficking. whilst chase is honest when he tells her his mother locked him in his father's study as a child, but disconnected; all clinical facts and no feelings, adams lies/evades and gets snappy and defensive whenever someone brings it up. we see this multiple times throughout parents.

she's crafted her persona into a rich kid who doesn't deserve her privelege, who gives back to others/save lives to help those less fortunste to her. she feels like she has to balance the scales, ig. she heals out of guilt, as a way to wallow in her misery and martyrdom. contrast this to chase, who heals and gives back for a personal distraction ("Only so many hours you can cry and bang on the door before you give up, find something to read. We all have family dysfunction. That's why we're successful. To fill that hole."). they have similar pasts, but different responses. in a way, adams is like who chase would be if he went down a different road.

there is an almost innate sadness to adams that's never explicitly shown but very much implied. whenever chase and adams have conversations one-on-one, there's frail, tentative empathy between them. their similarities mean that they understand each other on a deep, personal level (quite similar to chase & thirteen, but with less friendship involved) however, bc chase is so factual, and emotionally-distanced from his childhood and his divorce - they only ever hit him when he's looking at either his dad or cameron in the face - and adams is so evasive, reactive, tempremental and snappy when confronted with her side of things... they've never truly connected. they have the same roots but have branched off to opposing sides of the tree, they are like ghosts, alternate versions of the deepest untouched parts of each other. i think that's how i'd describe their relationship.

i think house clocked on to the fact that it's intimate, particularly in 'we need the eggs', bc they are so alike. adams obviously felt this vague sort of empathy between them too in this episode, seeing as she asks chase out for drinks 'for a change' - she wants to get over her issues - but chase declines because he's not over cameron. whether this was romantic though? it wasn't for chase, but i don't think adams really knew; she doesn't show romantic/sexual attraction to him, all i think she knew is what house noticed. that they had some sort of connection, and adams wanted to explore that, to find someone who understands.

i think ur right in that they're disconnected. they could connect but they won't, and it's also a different kind of intimate than to what house inferred. they are like long-lost siblings who shared a childhood, but time has changed them so much that they struggle to face each other honestly. they are a reminder to each others' pasts, and i don't think chase completely likes that (in s8 anyway), he doesn't like the idea of what he could've become. but adams - who has felt alone her whole life, disconnected from her peers, disadvantaged patients (who had it worse in her mind), and colleagues prior to s8 - wants to connect with someone who gets what it's like. even if she doesn't completely get it, bc although she's come to terms with the divorce, she hasn't yet accepted how her parents impacted her by s8.

sorry for how long this reply is!! they are so interesting to me. i hope it kinda helped tho? lmk ur thoughts if u like (:

#house md #jessica adams #robert chase

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jyrinestories08 · 5 months ago

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I FINALLY WATCHED SONIC MOVIE 3 AND OH MY GOD IT’S SOOO GOOOOOODDD!!!!!

THE STORYTELLING, THE CHARACTERS, THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENTS, AND THE 3RD ACT!!!! AMAZING!! IT’S SO GOOD, I HAVE A BLAST OF WATCHING THIS MOVIE AGAIN BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING!

Spoilers of my thoughts⬇️⬇️⬇️

Hero story:

- Sonic had such a great character development in this movie when you put the 1st and 2nd movie together, and it shows on how changed and how he learns something from himself. That scene when he argues with Knuckles about how he wants to get the Master Emerald to fight Shadow is great. And i love how in that same scene, Knuckles knows that violence is not the answer, sonic shouldn’t have that much rage on him, even though after what Shadow did to Tom (i’ll talk about that later). This movie also shows you that Knuckles’ characteristics has gotten some development, when you compare how he acts in the 2nd movie and the spin-off show. And i still love that even though Tails and Knuckles agree what sonic is doing, he’s still family.

Villain story:

- I can finally talk about Shadow. Oh boy, he’s so good in this movie. He’s so well written in this movie. From his backstory and his villainy. His backstory with Maria are great, i love seeing Maria rollerskating around the G.U.N, including that she’s not even afraid of Shadow; instead she sees him as a little guy that she wants to be friends. AND THE MONTAGE WITH THEM IN THE BASE AJAKDJEJSMNDJSKSJDJDKSJDJSKDJ💕💞💓💗💖💘💝THEY’RE SO CUTE. This movie made me feel bad for both them😭. I never get to mention Eggman, Gerald, and stone in this movie. It’s interesting to see Gerald in this movie, it’s the first we get to see him having more interactions with Shadow and Eggman than in the Games; and i love seeing Jim Carrey playing both Gerald and Eggman at the same time, seeing the duality of both characters and how he acts as them. And man…poor Stone, he deserves better. This man has to watch his own boss anouncing a heartfelt message to him as a goodbye, and that’s just for so sad for Stone losing Eggman for the 3rd time again😭. And never get to mention his interaction with Tails and shadow in the movie because i really like that scene it’s really cute, i love seeing Tails talking about him and Eggman are friends, and Stone’s interaction with Shadow by BABYSITTING HIM DHJSJSHDHEJDNNDHDNDNDJDJD SO CUTE!!!!!!

(Other)Human characters[Tom and Maddie, G.U.N]:

- I really do like how get to see Tom and Maddie being part of Team Sonic’s mission compared to the 2nd movie. Their scene together at the house so cute, the little puppet that tom’s puppet is cute as hell, bonus the donut sweater. I still think their scenes in the G.U.N base is okay cause i really don’t mind it .And that scene where Tom is disguising himself as Commander Walters to get the key has to be a great scene for a character like him and how he cares about what Sonic is trying to do; 10/10 scene. And i like Walters’ role in this movie. I love he’s just a really nice G.U.N employee during the backstory scenes, and i love how he’s trying to be a good person by stopping a G.U.N soldier to shoot (except it explodes some gas’ that led to Maria’s); he seems like the movie equivalent of Abraham Towers, except he’s less intimidating than Towers. I wish we get more character of Agent Rockwell, i really do think she has some potential in the movies. Her last appearance is when Tom Disguises himself as Walters, then she just leaves and never to be seen again. I wish he had more because i might expect her as Agent Topaz from sonic X (except she’s a lot meaner than Topaz).

Stuff’s that made me cry:

- hooo…i am so ready to say some of list of stuff’s that made cry in this movie. The backstory with Maria and Shadow is so heartwarming and cute, i love seeing them being literal kids playing kids stuff and cause a ruckus, and i just wanted to inhale and exhale being how cute and sad it is at the same time. And yes, i did cry when Tom was sent to the hospital, because before that scene, Shadow almost killed Tom without knowinb it’s actually him. Sonic comes into the scene and i knew it Sonic will get so much rage on Shadow, and Shadow sees Sonic and Tom to himself and Maria; like i knew it, i knew that scene will come and I JUST WANT TO TAKE BREAK. And again, Eggman’s announcement to Stone is so sad because Eggman finally felt betrayed after what Gerald is doing. And now he’s making a message for stone and then referencing his line from the 1st movie🙁.

Post credit scene:

- I’m excited to say this. Let’s talk about the post credit scene from the very end. We already know, shadow is alive, of course he is still alive, we saw it in the games. But man…the first post credit scene. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH METAL SONIC IS HERE I CAN’T BELIEVE IT BUT I KNEW IT HE’S GONNA BE IN THE MOVIE. AND MY BEST GIRL AMY AHHHHHHH SHE FINALLY GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES AHHHHHHHH FINALLY FINALLY YESSSSSSSSSS AHHHHHHHHHHHH AND HER IN A HOODIE ASWELL, AND HER PINK LIGHT AND HAMMER, AND HER BEATING EVERY SINGLE METAL SONIC’S JUST TO SAVE SONIC’S LIFE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Tier Rank: S TIER

Scale Rank: 10/10

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog 3 #sonic movie #sonic movie 3 #sonic movie 3 spoiler review #sonic movie 3 spoilers #sth #sth 3 #shadow the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #tails the fox #dr eggman #agent stone #gerald robotnik #maria robotnik #tom wachowski #maddie wachowski #movie review

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avelera · 2 years ago

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Great, now I’m having feelings about the fact that Hob always looks like some Tough Guy or Rich Guy patriarchal ideal but then he opens his mouth and suddenly all he can talk about is how amazing the world is and being alive is and gushing about his family, or playing cards, or theater, or how good everyone really is deep down.

Like seriously, at first glance, Hob in 1389 is just some tough guy soldier sitting with a bunch of other tough guy soldiers some of whom are actively wearing armor at the table, drinking ale and talking shit about each other. But then Dream, this absolute complete weirdo goth kid who definitely comes across as at least a little (a lot) on the spectrum creeps up to their table after clearly eavesdropping on them with what apparently is a joke bit about living forever.

And Hob rolls with it! He tells his friends not to be mean and he plays along with the weird guy and is super nice to him about his weirdo question without making fun of him. He’s actually so damn nice to Dream there if you don’t know Dream is an eldritch and super powerful being.

Then in 1489, right, Hob talks about being a soldier and a bandit but he brushes it off as really not that important. The guy’s job was to kill and rob people! He did it for most of the century! But it’s clearly not all that important to him. When asked about what matters, he talks about his new day job, and playing cards, and how new technology makes it so much nicer to be indoors now that chimneys mean that buildings aren’t so smoke filled. He’s so enamored about little things in life he doesn’t care about the macho stuff basically at all.

1589? Rich and powerful and newly knighted Sir Robert absolutely gushes about his family and is trying his damndest to get his friend to eat some of the feast he’s trying to share with him. 1689 he absolutely looks ready to throw down and clearly very recently has, and despite the absolute laundry list of horrific tragedies he relays, tears up about how much he has to live for. Hob is downright fancy in 1789 (ironically when he’s at his behind the scenes most evil) and talks to Dream about theater, and 1889 he’s definitely a picture of patriarchal masculinity with his cigar and how he’s dressed, but what haunts him is how he’s treated other people and he’s quick to change his tone about the vulnerable when he learns what the woman went through and is wistful about the fact he fears he will never be a better person himself, denying himself the empathy he shows others. 1989, again, absolute picture of 80s stock trader masculine chic, but he blames himself for hurting his friend’s feelings. No pride or self righteousness there at all though imo it was very much deserved.

Anyway, I think it’s one reason I and others fell for this guy so hard. Hob is always doing the unexpected compared to how he presents himself, he cares so much about life and people and Dream, sometimes to the exclusion of being kind to himself. He presents this toxic masculine ideal but the minute he speaks, he undermines it by showing how deeply he cares.

And I just think that’s neat.

#hob gadling #sandman meta

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skarkkk · 6 months ago

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First,

Sparks.

I liked him at first, he seemed cute and really cool, his adoration for Athena (God knows she's amazing and deserves it), but then she said she was wary of him, and he never makes mistakes, so the feeling changed. And I understand wanting to feel powerful with a bad childhood, but he crossed the line. Even if his intentions weren't that, he crossed the line. He became unnecessarily aggressive with that woman, he shot her in front of her daughter and traumatized a child because he was hot-headed and because he wasn't prepared or made for the streets. I don't want and I don't care if he appears on screen again, but I think this statement is unnecessary.

Second,

Brad.

I said the first time he showed up that there was something strange, and then I started to like him, but he's a jerk? I don't know what's going on, but yes, that rudeness to the attendant and then not even an apology was completely unnecessary. Addendum, he really has something going on with Bobby and not just appreciation.

Third,

Maddie. Maddie and Chim. Maddie and Buck. All of them.

How careful they are this time and I imagine how Chim would be so much more alert compared to how he was when Jee was pregnant. And that this is sad but cute and that I want Jee as a big sister and all those family feelings. Since Buck knows his own sister and since the three of them (and Jee, obviously) are already a family like that, I loved their hug and I need Uncle Buck to be even more concerned.

Fourth,

Gerrard.

My god, he was so miserable in this episode and I loved it. "The first job I'm happy with" and how it's almost atonement. He's a giant fucking asshole and that's it, Brad is his karma, which he deserves. Him begging and hugging Bobby? And crying? My sadistic side loved it, but I don't want the focus on him, or this, or their feelings or the boss because that would bring more complications that would take up screen time for more important things.

Fifth,

Everything.

Eddie and Hen's cute banter with Buck at the station. Eddie's smile, and how I still haven't gotten used to him without his mustache. Buck as a cook and Jee being the best girl to him because he's such a girl dad and the best uncle. The really cool thing with the little thief guy there who looked like a hacker and how the beginning reminded me a lot of S.W.A.T (the one with Sherman Moore). Athena looking amazing arresting those goons and then running after the boss.

Sixth,

the romance.

Buck being attached and wanting to talk to Tommy is cute, that whole doubt thing and "should I talk to him?" and "he wanted to talk to me!?", but it passed. I don't know if Tommy's texting was something that will pass or if it's intentional for the next episode (I'm pretty sure it's not) but I'm afraid it won't go as far as I want it to. Buddie. As a fan, who has endured eight seasons, I'm not going to give up now, especially with such strong signs. "Maybe the universe will bring you someone special"/"It's like the universe is screaming at you and you don't hear it" and all the other episodes, hopes are higher than ever, but what if? It's the last season, I want them to work on Eddie's Catholic guilt, and the fact that they are like Michael and David. M/C meeting in the elevator, the look at each other and the smile reminds me of the elevator scene with Buck and Eddie "well, at least it's not a tsunami" because the look is the same. 911 is a great show, but with how unpredictable it is, with these conversations coming straight from ao3, I don't even know what to expect regarding Buddie. Will they accidentally get together and get married in Vegas? Will Chris be like "you didn't get with a woman because you already have Buck"? Because of Bobby? Because I feel like a lot could happen because of Maddie and Chim.

Seventh,

Hen and Athena.

Their scenes are always amazing, and how Hen always encourages her to follow her instincts and how best friends they are.

Eighth,

Not about this episode in particular, but where the hell is Ravi? Looking back, they bring in a half-baked Hollywood actor with a sort of Pavlov crush on Bobby and the problematic LAPD rookie, but not Ravi? Not the guy who appeared in the family scenes in the 118? Not after the whole Chim being sent to the academy to bring their boy home? Not about how he's already part of the family? About how he was accepted so much more quickly and naturally into the family compared to Jonah (and what a terrible ending) or, even saying, Lucy? I don't know why Anirudh didn't come back for this season, but I want him. For the love of god, he was at Maddie and Chim's wedding, THEY ARE FAMILY, in one analysis he is a younger brother to Chim, much more emotionally stable than the Han's or Buckley's and still, with a past involving cancer, and living in a hospital, and probably racial issues, and that headcanon I saw on tiktok of him switching shifts so as not to get so attached because he lived in the hospital and probably lost several friends to cancer. He was at the bachelor party, he was at the awards, he has the people, we want him back, so Ryan, where is he? Where is fireman Panikkar who certainly thinks Bobby is Buck's father (we ignore the existence of Margareth and Philipe)? Who must think Eddie and Buck have already divorced, and that he didn't know who Tommy is and that now he will be confused because how come Tommy has already left? And how come Eddie played Freddy Mercury? He totally would have dressed up as something scary in the Halloween episode, he definitely would have gone all out with the Billy Bubbles thing, he definitely passes along every bit of gossip to every shift about every shift because he's their King. So where's our King?

And why do I always fall in love with characters who get no screen time but angst?

Ninth,

I feel like ABC is doing something. We started with a plane (season 1/8), then we had the well (season 3), the man hanging from a rope on the ladder truck (season 6), and the preview for the next episode shows us car accidents (season 2/4) and the person drowning in the car that only reminds me of the tsunami - and now a little bit of Maddie's attempt (season 3/5). We're reliving important points for the characters, especially Buddie, and if we go in that order there's still a long way to go. There was a scene in this episode, on a street, that reminded me a lot of the one with the gunshot (season 4). If we go by that, we're missing 5, which I think would involve Maddie's pregnancy or Eddie's breakdown. If it's Eddie's, it also opens up for Buck discovering himself in 7 because Eddie has this whole Catholic thing, so discovering he's gay and freaking out is just like him. I don't know if it's intentional, but with 911 you never know.

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lemonjestercoffee · 1 year ago

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horses! horses! horses! horses!

i redesigned them! with my own hcs and species design quirks. also woe, height chart be upon ye

some notes for everypony:

Twilight Sparkle- i like gold on her design but not the absurd amounts everyone else gives her for some reason, so i made it an accent color. yes her magic is gold now too because of her eyes. her hair was also inspired by Mikan Tsumiki's cause i thought a more orderly version of her choppy mess would look good on Twilight, i was right. also glasses go brr, i think she looks cute in 'em

Apple Jack- while i love the long fetlocks people give her, i can't see her actually doing that because they'd be a pain to keep clean, so i did the opposite and had her shave her feathering off. i also put her hair up to keep it off her neck so she doesn't overheat while working. her cutiemark is my favorite part cause it's that family symbol where two adults and a kid make a heart, but i made it an apple instead, does a better job at showing her emphasis on family ties. no hat cause i like the idea of her hat being from her dad, and she doesn't want to mess it up wearing it daily so she wears it exclusively to special events

Rainbow Dash- i decided to make her less of a living lightening bolt and leaned more into her lazy side, going for the type of butch lesbian look that makes her feel like she wears tank tops and hangs out in the basement getting drunk and listening to rock. i wanted her to look like the only part of her she actually puts effort into maintaining is her wings

Fluttershy- i take great enjoyment in making Flutters a fucking lumbering giant compared to his friends (yes my Flutters is a guy), taking fluttertree and running with it. no notes aside from tall and green patterns and long hair and ooo pretty bronze jewelry. ig also his cutie mark is like- it was suppose to just be a paw and a butterfly but i accidentally made a parasprite with it, and instead of fixing it i just rolled with it and made it look more intentional

Pinkie Pie- THIS HORSE GAVE ME SO MUCH TROUBLE!! every part of my body was like "give her patterns! add things to her hair! it makes sense for her!!" but everything i did looked wrong and i couldn't get it to work. so i bit the bullet and made her really plain... and it worked. i don't know why but she just.... looks so much better with a really simple design, the hair texture does all the heavy lifting really

Rarity- of everyone, she's the one who'd have the long pretty fetlocks, and i decided to double down on that by not only making them so long you can't see her hooves, but also by making her have the longest and softest coat in general. she has the time and dedication to take care of such a high maintenance coat and she's gonna do it. it's even more impressive when you realize ponyville uses exclusively dirt roads. aside from that i think she deserves nice jewelry, and they use leather straps cause i think leather would be a ponyville fashion staple, she shows her hometown pride in her fashion

Spike- i thought it was weird he was so small the whole run, he should have had a growth spurt at some point imo, so i made him a bit bigger and more proportional to the older teen dragons, this is less of a redesign and more of a "make him actually grow up" thing, he's still small but not toddler small. this is the point where Twilight starts complaining about him sitting on her back cause he's getting too heavy. i also don't like how adult Spike ended up looking, but i haven't made a redesign of him yet

i have made an older alicorn Twilight design that i've been referring to as Ethereal Twilight, but i might hold off on sharing that for a while cause i have some funky hc lore ideas for the alicorns that i wanna refine a little before posting her. maybe i'll have older Spike drawn by then too, who knows

#my little pony #mlp fim #mane 6 #mlp redesign #mlp headcanons #hc lore #kai doodles

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some-pers0n · 1 year ago

Text

Hey guys I rewrote the Arctic death scene again for like the fourth time. Wanna read it?

Two of the three moons were full that day, with the third, Oracle, but a sliver of light among a sea of stars. Their pale glow trickled down onto the stage where Darkstalker stood. While the shimmer of moonlight against his scales was notable, nothing could compare to the innate aura of fear and disgust radiating from the kneeling dragon before him.

Arctic hung his head. His talons were unmoving, bound by invisible shackles. His breath was laboured and anxious.

Darkstalker grinned at the sight of his father cowering. It was enthralling beyond any sense of the word. To see him quivering like prey finally captured and waiting for the agony of death to come.

"How are you feeling, father?" he asked, a coy smirk still on his face.

Arctic's mouth tightened.

"Let's try that again." Darkstalker cleared his throat. "Tell me, father, how do you feel?" His voice was stern, commanding.

"Annoyed." The words spilled out of Arctic's mouth. "Bothered by how you have to make a big show."

"Oh, terribly sorry about that. Shame, really. You don't want to be forced into a position you never asked for? My, what a tragedy. I'm certain Foeslayer could relate to that had she been here."

"Darkstalker," Clearsight began, "I don't think you should bother him–"

"I don't see why I can't." He glanced back at her. "I was only asking how he was. Is that too much for a son to ask?"

"You're torturing him..."

"Torture?" He echoed. "That seems much. I'm trying to make one last conversation with him before the performance begins."

"You don't have to do this."

"But I must. You saw him! You saw what he did to Whiteout!" He gestured to his sister. "She would've been handed off to some low-life IceWing and erased of any personality. And for what? So he could see Foeslayer again? She hates him. Everyone hates him." His snout curled. "He's better off dead; I'm simply kind enough to let others join in on the fun of killing him."

Whiteout flinched. She moved closer to Clearsight, murmuring words that Darkstalker couldn't hear. Her mind was a swirling storm of muted grey-green with streaks of silver and ebony.

He sighed. "I understand that it seems barbaric, but I promise that this is necessary."

"Is it? Is it really?" Clearsight's voice was sharp.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Of course. You'll see soon enough, my beloved." He raised his talons to brush her snout, but she stepped away. Her eyes were wide. Her thoughts raced. She was afraid. Afraid of him.

Fine. She could be difficult. There will come a time when she realizes the error in her ways. How she was blinded by her belief that Arctic was still deserving of redemption and forgiveness. She never could truly understand the pain that dragon had put his family through. What Arctic had put him through.

He scoffed and turned back around. By the time he had his little conversation, a crowd had formed. The passing NightWing citizens stopped and stared. They were waiting for a performance to begin.

"My fellow NightWings," Darkstalker called out to the crowd. "Today, I bring forth a traitor to not only our own tribe, but his very own kingdom. Gather round, as I would not dare to look away. No, these next few moments will dictate the choices made thousands of years from now. Like a rock tossed into a river, the fate of this IceWing will ripple throughout history."

That got the attention of more dragons. Soon enough, the flow of shoppers stalled as more and more gathered around the stage.

"Isn't this exciting, Arctic?" he whispered. "Turns out there's more than a handful of dragons who care about you enough to watch you. More than I thought."

Arctic stayed silent.

"Be that way then." He hissed. He raised his head back to the crowd. "Lovely night, isn't it? Each and every one of you are a beautiful piece of this marvellous city. Come now, don't you agree? Look to your left, your right, up, down, all around! These are your peers. Friends, perhaps to some of you. A NightWing like yourself."

He paused. "Now, tell me, who is not a friend of a NightWing? A dragon that, despite potentially looking friendly and innocent, will do nothing to tear down both you and the kingdom we graciously live under."

He snickered. "One dragon I could say is this one right here." Darkstalker swept his tail at the talons of Arctic, knocking him down. "You might have seen him before. Arctic of the IceWings. the runaway prince. The reason why our tribe is locked in a vicious war against the IceWings. Because of his impulsive, rash, and selfish deeds, our NightWings are sent to battle—families broken because of him.

"We have tolerated his presence enough. Some of you might think he was reformed. I can't blame you. It's difficult to understand what happens behind closed doors. Though, tonight, he had betrayed the NightWings." He gestured to Arctic. "Why don't you tell us, IceWing?"

"Tell you what, exactly?"

"You know what you did."

"I did nothing! I was going home. I was not betraying my tribe– this isn't even my tribe!"

"Answer me!" Darkstalker roared. "Answer. Confess. What were you doing earlier this evening?"

Arctic's mouth contorted. "I was taking my daughter to Queen Diamond. A peace treaty. I would hand over my daughter's hand in marriage and reintroduce animus magic back into the tribe...and in return, I would be a prince again. I would live in the castle. I would eat, drink, and sleep like a normal dragon. I would find out if my love was still alive."

"She was never your love. You hated her and she hated you." Darkstalker snarled. "Besides, that was not all, wasn't it?"

His lips struggled to keep close, but the words poured out of him. "I planned to draw and hand over a detailed map of the Night Kingdom. It would be in exchange for Foeslayer's life had she survived. I would have given everything to see her okay again."

Mumbles from the crowd reached Darkstalker. Gasps and concerns, both about the performance and the confession. How could a dragon do such a thing? Why wasn't the IceWing flying away despite being unchained? What was going to happen next?

"I assure you, NightWings, that the traitor did not reach Queen Diamond before I had stopped him. They do not yet know our location. However, we are not fully safe until this stain on our glorious kingdom is dealt with." He spat.

"How could a dragon do such a thing?" he started. "He admitted that all as if it were nothing. As if the livelihoods of you, your friends and family, and this very kingdom were little more than a statistic. He even brainwashed one of our own, his very daughter, to comply with such a plan!" He shook his head. "This traitor is the worst dragon to ever live. Do you agree?"

A mixed response. Some argued and debated on the nature of his choice. Foolish. They couldn't understand the intricacies. Others questioned the nature of Darkstalker carrying this out. Should it be Queen Vigilance? Where is she?

But most agreed. Between nodded heads and shouts for death, they stood alongside Darkstalker. The NightWings had given this IceWing, one of the dragons whom they had been at war with for years, a home in their very own kingdom, and how does he repay? He lies. He backstabs. He cheats. He betrays.

Darkstalker couldn't help but bask in the feeling of grandeur. A crowd of dragons all repeated back the thoughts he had all these years. Arctic was unforgivable. He was a coward. He was a traitor. There was no excuse for him to live.

These NightWings were all on his side. Was this truly what it was like to be king? To be worshipped and hailed? To bring justice and peace? It was an intoxicating feeling that surged through his veins.

He held up his talons. "Silence, NightWings!" he commanded. With that, the audience quieted themselves. "Thank you. Now, I believe it is time we dealt with this dragon."

He turned to Arctic. His face was a dark grimace.

"Oh, come now. Have a little more of a cheery smile. It's your big day." He chuckled. "Now, admit that I am the greatest animus of all time."

"You are–"

"No, no. Not a whisper. Admit to the world!" Darkstalker raised his wing to the crowd. "Speak, IceWing. Say that I am the greatest animus of all time."

"You are the greatest animus of all time," he choked out.

"Now tell them that there is no dragon more powerful than me. No army that can best me. No queen that can kill me. Nothing."

Arctic winced as he spoke. "There is no dragon more powerful than you. No army that can best you. No queen that can kill you."

The crowd became more worried in tone. Hushed words of skepticism and worry. This was an animus on stage, ordering around and playing with the IceWing. Darkstalker couldn't care. He was having fun. Let their fear fuel his power.

"Now..." Darkstalker lowered himself to Arctic. "Say that you wish you were a better father."

A shocked snort burst from Arctic's mouth, one that grew into a bemused and mocking laugh. He looked dead into Darkstalker's eyes. "If I had been a better father, I would've strangled you the moment you hatched."

The night was still. The crowd was dead silent. Even the breeze of the ocean had been snuffed out. An unbearable quiet as Darkstalker stared into Arctic. Into his very soul.

Arctic ruined it. He couldn't stand to watch his father sit there any longer, smug and having had the last laugh. No. Darkstalker needed to win.

"Rip out your tongue." His words were frosted over with hatred and malice.

Arctic's eyes widened as his talons moved involuntarily. He could see them shake and twitch. He could sense the panic and restraint, and yet nothing could stop him from grabbing his tongue and, with one firm tug, ripping it out.

Horror emanated from the crowd. They too were afraid. They feared him. No longer did they feel the same murderous zeal and fervour as him, but rather disgust and terror.

It was like bringing wood to a burning house.

Darkstalker leaned closer to his father. His eyes were transfixed on the blue mass of flesh flopped gracelessly on the stage, cyan blood dripping down his mouth. "Had your fun?"

His silence was not out of defiance. Arctic could not form a sentence.

"Good. Now, tear out your heart. Show the world who you truly are on the inside. Pour your life onto the stage. For all to see."

#sp-writing #wof #darkstalker wof #arctic wof #wings of fire #wof fanfic #Took longer than I'd like to have written but eh who cares it's still 1.7k words #Better than writing no words again

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