#bruce is the date

[confessedlyfannish]

DP x DC Prompt

Batman grunts a greeting at the boy Selena has introduced as "Danny" as if it's totally normal for a kid to be hanging out on a rooftop with her, kicking his legs out above the edge as if he's not 20 stories up.

Selena shares an equally amused glance with Danny that has Batman scowling harder than his usual as the boy gets up, stretching out from his hunch to reveal a 6 foot 2 build not unlike Jason's.

"Wow, spot on," Danny whistles, grinning at Selena. "I owe you a twenty."

"Darling," Selena purrs, hand finding purchase on his upper bicep. "I never exaggerate."

"Looks like Catwoman's got a new scratching post, B," Nightwing cackles in his comm, which is probably why Batman finds himself gritting out a--

"Little young for you, isn't he?"

The kid--in a hoodie and jeans, seriously, where did Selena find this guy--stares at him incredulously before his mouth stretches into an uncomfortably wide grin, revealing fairly sharp canines. He strides forward.

"What can I say, Mr. The Batman," he says, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. He must be around the same age as Dick. "I've got a thing for powerful women in black."

"See you for dinner tomorrow Lena," he says, hand lifted in farewell as he heads for the edge. He pushes himself over the wall with one hand, dropping over.

Batman clocks Selena's lack of alarm and doesn't flinch. Thirteen seconds later, there's no resounding thud when Danny's body would've met the pavement and she's still smirking at him.

"No metas in Gotham," he growls.

Selena throws her head back and laughs. "If I see any, I'll be sure to call. Now," she kisses his cheek, "I better go. I've got a date tomorrow."

[paintedimagery]

This is stupid, I spent too long on this lmao

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Jason: I’m dating Roy

Bruce: Hmm (derogatory)

Jason: He has a daughter which makes you a grandad

Bruce: Hmm (delighted)

[ambrosethedarling]

Found this collecting dust in my drafts so here ya go

[jesncin]

Relationship advice from your opportunistic Bat-friend.

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

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[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: Come out with your hands in the air!

Batman: *stepping out of the shadows of the doorway*

Danny: Go inside with your hands down!

Batman: What?

Danny: I don't know. I panicked. I thought if I said the opposite, it would work like a uno reverse card.

Batman: ....

Danny: .....

Batman: How old are you?

Danny: Old enough to respect your mother!

Batman: What?

Danny: I would take her on a romantic date, have her home at a reasonable hour and not expect a kiss until the third date!

Batman: Are you on something?

Danny: No, I'm just like this.

Batman: ....There have been rumors of a strange meta wandering the streets of Gotham. They say he spends his time offering to walk old people across the street, clean up litter and help kids with homework.

Danny: So what if I am? You won't make me join any gang if that's what you want. My mother raised me right! My dad taught me manners! My sister made me a valuable memeber of society! I HAVE MY RABBIES SHOT!

Batman: I'm actually here on Bruce Wayne's behalf. He wanted to offer you a safe place-

Danny: I already told that man no! Just because I fought off a kidnapping attempt on him doesn't mean we're chums. If he asks again I'll date his sons!

Batman: what

Danny: I'll romance them all. I'll take them on romantic candlelight dinners and make so many homemade heart-felt gifts. I'll be their number one support through thick and thin. Don't think I won't!

Batman: Are you sure you're not on something?

Danny: I'm too cool for drugs 😎

Batman:...... Bruce Wayne doesn't have to worry about his sons dating you. Not when you say things like that.

[shinobicyrus]

I've seen a lot of posts about Batman using his Bruce Wayne alter ego for the good of Gotham: job programs for felons released from prison, orphanages, charities, high wages for his employees, ethical business practices...the legendary post where Bruce Wayne goes to Wal-Mart.

Thus far I've never personally seen anybody really dig into the persona of Bruce Wayne the Billionaire Playboy. A handsome, rich, powerful man who always is seen at fancy galas, art openings, charity dinners, and wild parties with at least one beautiful woman on his arm.

We know Bruce Wayne is the mask, and its Batman who has a...complex love life, depending on the iteration we're talking about. Talia, Catwoman, sometimes Wonder Woman.

Bruce Wayne's dates, on the other hand, are all "normal" people. Maybe they're an aspiring actress, a supermodel, a prima ballerina, the occasional reporter...and every time there's that bit of nervousness at the start.

Sure everyone knows Bruce Wayne. Everyone knows the story with him. Sometimes his wilder parties make the news, but there's never really been anything nasty reported about him. Never...allegations. But he's a billionaire. He's one of the most powerful people in the whole city, nevermind the country. If he did have some skeletons in his closet. Well. Men with power have a way of making those kinds of stories go away, don't they?

As time goes on the Date's fears dissipate pretty quickly. Bruce Wayne is nothing but polite, kind, and at times charmingly awkward in an 'raised by his butler in a mansion' kind of way with his dates. Some of them can tell he's holding back, of course. Maybe the more perceptive Dates notice he's smarter than he lets on - playing the himbo or hamming up the "know-nothing rich boy" act to the cameras or some of his wealthy peers.

He also listens, is the thing. He's always listening to what they're saying, is interested in hearing about their careers, their hobbies, their lives. Really listens, too. Might refer to something a Date said weeks later off-hand. Buy out the whole museum for a private dinner date with a famous painting from an obscure artist they like, or a private performance with another's favorite band.

He has anecdotes and funny stories for days that somehow says very little about his personal life. The Dates know he has kids (it's practically a running gag in the news that Bruce Wayne has adopted yet another orphan) and maybe she might spot one of them at the mansion, but Bruce seems very keen to shelter them from any intense spotlight and scrutiny, and they all seem happy if a bit weird like him.

Eventually, there's drifting. He's a very busy man, with a very busy schedule. On more than on occasion his nice old butler will call and extend apologies that Mr. Wayne will not be able to make it this evening. Sometimes it's virtually impossible to get a hold of him over the phone. After a while they stop trying. None of them feel quite surprised by that. In the end, it just doesn't work. Sure, he's a little distant and doesn't make himself emotionally available...but he's not a bad person.

Especially when the so-called "exes" of Bruce Wayne start networking. Gotham isn't a small city, but the social circles Bruce Wayne travels in aren't as big. They don't quite gossip or complain about him. More like...who else would get it?

(I touched his side once and he winced...like he'd been hurt real bad there. He laughed and said it was tackle polo. How does that even-?)

(Somehow, after two dates, he saw right through me and listened while I told him what that casting director tried to do. He nodded, gave me the contact details of a law firm, and said not to worry about the legal fees.)

(I don't know for sure it was him, but it can't be a coincidence that my building got bought out from under my shitty landlord and we were all able to buy our apartments under market value.)

(He got my brother in the best rehab program in the city after his relapse. It probably saved his life. We'd stopped dating months ago, I still don't know how he found out.)

(He gave me a card with a phone number and told me that if I was ever in trouble to call it. Said one of his cars would come to pick me up, any time, any place, no questions asked. The one time I did have to use it after a bad party, it was Alfred.)

I think any tabloid reporter digging around for salacious stories or dirt about Bruce Wayne's love life would be completely and politely stonewalled when they try asking his former Dates. Even when money is offered. Every single one of them.

[tiger-grace]

Dick: oh no, is that a gray hair?

Steph, shaking her head sadly: twink death

Dick: nevermind, must be from the dog!

Cass, raising an eyebrow: twink immortality?

[bluerosefox]

Kidnapped Persephone Style

Me: *tossing prompt idea up and down in the air before chucking it into the Void we call the internet*

Jason is dating Ghost Prince (not yet King) Danny and goes on a really awesome and romantic date on his day off. He forgot to tell the fam though. So when Red Robin comes to give Jason an update on some entil, he watches in muted horror as Jason is 'kidnapped' by a glowing entity in black armor and a nightmare looking horse (Danny is a bit busy doing paperwork, so he had his Fright Knight pick Jason up) off of a Gotham rooftop and into a green portal, while the knight had proclaimed Jason as their future Kings 'intended'..

No one on coms is ready for Tim to yell out

"I THINK JASON JUST GOT KIDNAPPED PERSEPHONE STYLE!!"

[ditzybat]

j’onn, who’s been watching one too many sitcoms with m’gann, seeing bruce and clark exhibit mannerisms similar to that of on screen couples: ah yes, they are married.

[brucespringsteencomments]

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce, ending a JL meeting: Superman and I will discuss this further

Hal, teasing: lol, are you two going to fuck

Bruce, deadpan: yeah we are, what about it

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 329

Bruce was admittedly suspicious when Talia requests a meeting, and is admittedly still upset with the entire hiding Damian’s existence from him for literal years. But he also admits that he just… has to take a moment. 

“Run that by me again please?” He had to have misheard, right? Or gotten drugged by something maybe. 

Talia sighs, sounding just as tired as he felt. “Father’s tea supplier has moved to Gotham after an argument, and he wishes to discuss the agreement of him not entering the city- to speak with said vendor.” 

[arunneronthird]

the thinking chair

[secretidentie]

*Bruce calling the JL after swapping bodies with Clark* : I have to notify you that superman is inside me

*JL casually* : Yeah, what's new