#the batfam freaks

[bluerosefox]

Kidnapped Persephone Style

Me: *tossing prompt idea up and down in the air before chucking it into the Void we call the internet*

Jason is dating Ghost Prince (not yet King) Danny and goes on a really awesome and romantic date on his day off. He forgot to tell the fam though. So when Red Robin comes to give Jason an update on some entil, he watches in muted horror as Jason is 'kidnapped' by a glowing entity in black armor and a nightmare looking horse (Danny is a bit busy doing paperwork, so he had his Fright Knight pick Jason up) off of a Gotham rooftop and into a green portal, while the knight had proclaimed Jason as their future Kings 'intended'..

No one on coms is ready for Tim to yell out

"I THINK JASON JUST GOT KIDNAPPED PERSEPHONE STYLE!!"

[ktkat99]

Jason comes back from the dead and, as he's still a bit out of it, heads to the manor.

Crawling straight up through six feet of compacted earth is hard, especially after waking up suddenly in a coffin, so after he makes it inside, he sits down to rest on the couch.

And immediately falls asleep.

Hours later, Bruce returns home to find Jason's body, covered in dirt, dug up from the grave and left on his couch.

[redsray]

I love the idea of the Wayne kids dropping extremely vague and disturbing comments during galas. Especially when in uncomfortable situations or if they're just bored. They pull out things from their nightlife too. Other times they just make shit up.

Socialite: Oh, dear, your cheeks look so sullen! Who sucked the life out of you?

Tim, dead serious: An old man with a goatee.

Socialite: Uh... what?

Dick: Once I broke my knee so badly that I swear I could see part of the bone sticking out.

Socialite: Good lord. How on earth did that happen?

Dick: Just clumsy gymnast things ^^

Socialite: The white streak is certainly a bold fashion choice.

Jason: I saw someone get decapitated once, so I could be doing worse in terms of what's on my head, yknow? At least I have one.

Socialite: What's your favourite colour, sweetie?

Damian: Red.

Socialite: Oh that's lovely!

Damian: Like the blood of my enemies.

Socialite: Oh.

Socialite: You must be new to these kind of events.

Duke: Uh, yeah, they're kind of scary. But I've had worse.

Socialite: Worse.

Duke: Well I've been left on top of a skyscraper before with no way down just to 'get over my fear of heights' so, yes.

Socialite: You don't talk very loud, do you? I can barely hear you.

Cass, with a straight face: If I spoke any louder every glass in the room would shatter.

Tim, behind her: I can vouch.

[ashoss]

like father like daughter

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Jason is terrified of Damian al Ghul-Wayne.

Talia dipped him in the Pit, fed him lies, put him through the worst kinds of pain possible for the sake of training and turned him into a monster that went to heel when called. A monster even Ra’s was wary of.

He’s terrified of Damian, because if his mother managed to manipulate and play him like a fiddle, then she must have taught the same to her son.

Damian, who only has memories of a catatonic Jason cooing at him, cuddling him and protecting him, is becoming progressively more distressed by Jason’s perpetual cold shoulder and skittish behavior whenever Jason sees him.

[undertheredhood]

jason 'perfect poker face' todd: and that is the story of how i got myself permenantly banned from three countries in the span of two months!

tim 'know it all' drake: *immediately picking up his stalking hobby because he doesn't know if jason is telling the truth or not*

[batboopp]

bruce wayne they could never make me hate you. they could also never make me like you either. good god you are fucked up

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Bruce, age 22, in his mafia take down era: Lol, this shits easy. Why can’t the GCPD do this. Ive even got time to kill, I wonder what Harvey’s doing.

—

Bruce, age 35: Yeah scarecrow tested his new fear toxin out on a maternity wing, firefly is going on an arson spree, Joker is holding a school hostage- no Jason, that’s not “it,” sit down.

[binglepringle]

“On your back…are those…exit wounds? They’re…so big…”

[bluerosefox]

Bittersweet and Sweetheart Exes

12 am brain rot

Can...

Can I get an AU where Talia, Danny and Bruce dated each other and later break up? Maybe have them meet when Bruce is in Batman training years and its a whirlwind romance between the three. Like we know how Bruce and Talia are together as exes (both a little toxic to each other, a love hate kinda thing and yet still have something) BUT Danny is the ex they always are sweet for, like he is the one they love flirting with when they see him (Talia more so regardless where and when, Bruce can only openly flirt as Bruce/Brucie, he has to be sneaky when Batman)

I want Talia and Bruce both trying to one up each other for Danny's attention. They know he's Phantom btw, and his human side as well. They however don't know he's also the Ghost King (in training at the time) Danny keeps forgetting to mention it.

Oh, oh. Let's have the Batfam find out due to a cult summoning, like someone in the League is trying to usurp Talia's rule (I want LOA leader Talia) and Damian is taken by them (which means Talia, Bruce, and the Batfam are coming to save him) and they try summoning the Ghost King to try to offer Damian as a sacrifice for power in order to take over the League.

Both Bruce and Talia weren't expecting to see their ex appear in a swirl of stars, aurora lights, and galaxies with a crown to match, a cape that looked like it had a cosmos swirling, and a Kingly outfit though.

(Or if we wanna make it extra funny, why not have them both had dated Danny at different times, and didn't know they are all exes to each other until Danny goes "DANNY!" "Talia? Bruce? What are you both doing here?" "Wait you know him/her? How?" "....Yes? And well...I dated them...")

[regonold]

Ok kinda funny/a bit angsty idea danny has a soulmate mark that shows how your soulmate is doing in the alive injured critical dead sense when the soulmate dies the mark goes black

Now Danny's mark has been through most/all the phases he was a bit worried about the dead part but they came back so he's not that worried

Danny's soulmate on the otherhand a batfam member is freaking the fuck out every single day his soulmate dies amd comes back to life what the hell if wrong with his soulmate that he can keep coming back to life

Basically when danny transforms to phantom his mark registers him as dead and the bat family are freaking out because one of their members soulmate has died like 63 times this week what the hell is up with him

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 289

While Bruce was lost in time, he made a Deal. 

He doesn’t exactly mention it to his family when he comes back- he was more than a little busy trying to figure out what he missed, where his children were, what the fuck had even happened. Besides, he’d put it in the report that he’d encountered some sort of primordial time being- even if he was still investigating that on his down time. 

So he thinks he can be forgiven for forgetting to mention anything until Clark drops a cup while staring at him with a pale expression and shakily asks why there’s a second, slower heartbeat in his chest. He just also wishes it wasn’t in the middle of a League meeting. 

[bruciemilf]

DC can shoot blockbuster movies, but only WFA is genius enough to introduce PTA mom! Bruce who's extremely competitive.

I need Battinson, youngest parent there by far, to roll in, smudged make up, bruises, a busted red lip.

No one thinks to link those marks to Batman. They're OBVIOUSLY evidence of a long night of fooling around in the club instead of caring for his young ward

Margie thinks that's funny, seeing as this guy obviously doesn't get out much. She tried putting him through the trial of Intimidating Mom Show Off and he just said, " I'm going to cry in the bathroom. Excuse me."

I'm sorry, but Bruce being openly affectionate with Dick, Jason, Damian, Cass, and Tim, -- kisses on the cheek, hugs that last until the teacher breaks them off, - would have the fathers cringing.

" Haha, I don't do that with my kids. I'm actually here because my wife bitched at me."

Bruce, straight up, " Don't you like your children?"

" Excuse me?!"

" Not yet. Why do you hate your kids?"

" I love my kids, I just can't wait to get away from them. Come on, you know how it's like."

" No. I love my babies. Why do you hate your babies? Why do you hate your wife. I'll pay for your divorce if you want."

Bruce gets reported VERY often to the principal and board for being inappropriate, and you know what? They refuse to do anything. It was about time someone raised hell around here.

Duke, age 8, watching a grown man throw a tantrum because Bruce called Dick 'baby' : Bruce. I can poke him with my sword

Bruce: Not yet, Duke

Jason tries exploding every kid he doesn't like with his mind. "Trust me, you won't like the alternative. Now be gone! My papi brought me lunch." It's a lunchbox full of books.

Bruce gets along the best with the mothers. They treat him like the class hamster

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Danny and Damien are twins au, but a slightly redeemed vlad makes Danny the CEO of Vlad Co and DALV and all his other shell companies. Danny is danny, he got pushed into this against his will and is very overwhelmed by CEO duties, so he reaches out to one of his father's sons, Timothy Drake-Wayne, for advice

-------------------

So, danny definitely knows his heritage in this au. He was the spare to Damien's heir, and while their relationship was strained by the constant competition, they still love each other, even when Danny started to show more proficiency in infiltration and subterfuge than assassination. Damien and Danny have a huge fight before Danny leaves, with Damien swearing to never forgive Danny for his betrayal, while Danny is like "what betrayal??? I just cant bring myself to kill someone outside of self-defense??"

(One of the things I hate about Danny and Damien Twin AUs is this depiction that, just because (usually) Danny is unwilling to kill, that makes him weak and a traitor. You think the medical staff in the LoA are assassinating people? Or the lawyers? He's not useless, he's just not good as an assassin)

He was sent to the Fentons at like... seven? eight? to study how the Fentons are purifying lazurus waters from Jack and Maddie, both of whom are partly sponsored by the League of Assassins. He's also learning more about spying from Jack, surprisingly, because no one would expect him of being a top tier spy. He has the occasional mission as a child, but it's mostly shadowing Jack to learn how to spy.

Danny sends letters to both Talia and Damien regarding updates on his training and the Fenton's research, but after a year of no reply from Damien, it's only to Talia. He's feels super hurt by this, and abandoned by the LoA, but the Fentons are kind and familial, and Talia visits once a year. She's unwilling to risk visiting more often, lest she risk getting the JL or the Spiders attention, but sometimes she even manages to visit on his birthday!

(Meanwhile, Talia starts sending birthday assassins to kill Damien so she can spend their birthday with Danyal. She's a really hot and cold mom.

Talia: You can choose me, and have a birthday dinner. Or you can choose your father and have a birthday assassin. You're choice. )

When Slade blows up the LoA, Danyal is given permanent orders to remain as Daniel Fenton until Talia, and only Talia, brings him back to the League. No missions and only one letter every six months. But when Ra's comes back to life and the League is back in power, Talia... never tells Danyal. Because she's seen how happy Damien is being a normal child with their father and wants that for Danyal too. Plus, she wants to continue to have a good relationship one of her children, sue her bruce.

So Danny is completely convinced that the League is mostly gone other than his mother, her zealots, and knows that his brother is living with their father. and he's... relieved. His brother is safe, and his mom told him their grandfather was avenged, so Danny can just enjoy his life. Which he does.

He sends out his six month report days before the portal accident.

Canon stuff happens until Danny is sixteen and Vlad, the fruitloop, steps down as CEO and strong-arms Danny into becoming CEO in his place. Jack and Maddie (who at this point know [or have always known in Jack's case, adn Danny didn't appreciate his dad using his his poker face against him like that] about Phantom) are thrilled.

Vlad is using his "foster son" (Dark Danny, but in this idea, he's Dante Masters) as an excuse as to why he's stepping down, since Dante needs all the attention he can give as a "troubled youth". Danny secretly hopes Dante kills Vlad in his sleep, but signs the papers away.

And there's so much work.

Danny has some idea of what he's doing (Vlad co is a tech company and DALV is weapons manufacturing, plus vlad gave him a crash course on CEOing). Sam and Tuck even help! But he wishes there was someone who could understand the pain of being a CEO while still a teen. But... his father's son, his brother, is one such person. And even though the other would never know, he really wanted to get to know his other siblings. So Danny reaches out for advice to Timothy Drake-Wayne.

Tim is immediately on guard when this Damien clone walks into his office claiming to be the new Vlad Co CEO. The clone acts nothing like Damien, but he still thinks this Danny Fenton is a league plant.

His paranoia doubles when Damien freaks out and confesses that A) Danny is apparently his twin brother and B) that he's been with the League of Assassins this whole time. Damien, who really doesn't want to admit that the reason he forced himself to forget his brother was because said brother didn't want to kill people, says "Tch. I didn't want to associate with the likes of him, so I put him out of my mind." Tim now believes that he's dealing with a master assassin with a huge grudge against Damien and Danyal showing no signs of malicious or aggression in their meetings only convinces him that Danyal is a master actor too.

Which, Danyal is a master actor. But all that other stuff is just Tim reaching.

[ky-landfill]

"...hi."

[batcavescolony]

With the rise in panels of Tim going all unhinged 'I could kill someone' here's this