#sometimes even plays along
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I love the idea of the Wayne kids dropping extremely vague and disturbing comments during galas. Especially when in uncomfortable situations or if they're just bored. They pull out things from their nightlife too. Other times they just make shit up.
Socialite: Oh, dear, your cheeks look so sullen! Who sucked the life out of you?
Tim, dead serious: An old man with a goatee.
Socialite: Uh... what?
Dick: Once I broke my knee so badly that I swear I could see part of the bone sticking out.
Socialite: Good lord. How on earth did that happen?
Dick: Just clumsy gymnast things ^^
Socialite: The white streak is certainly a bold fashion choice.
Jason: I saw someone get decapitated once, so I could be doing worse in terms of what's on my head, yknow? At least I have one.
Socialite: What's your favourite colour, sweetie?
Damian: Red.
Socialite: Oh that's lovely!
Damian: Like the blood of my enemies.
Socialite: Oh.
Socialite: You must be new to these kind of events.
Duke: Uh, yeah, they're kind of scary. But I've had worse.
Socialite: Worse.
Duke: Well I've been left on top of a skyscraper before with no way down just to 'get over my fear of heights' so, yes.
Socialite: You don't talk very loud, do you? I can barely hear you.
Cass, with a straight face: If I spoke any louder every glass in the room would shatter.
Tim, behind her: I can vouch.
#batfam#batman#cassandra cain#damian wayne#dc comics#dick grayson#duke thomas#jason todd#tim drake#they make bets on who can freak out the most stuck up socialites#its a very fun game for them#bruce just lets it happen#he secretly finds it funny#sometimes even plays along#socialite: so how did you end up with so many kids?#bruce: they were brought to me by an alien
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ahhhh 😌
the relief of getting to build pottery again after… like three weeks 😬
finally starting on some commissions I’ve had on my whiteboard since 2024! feels good
#it’s weird how when you stop doing something for awhile#sometimes your brain decides restarting is really hard#even though there really isn’t much difference between me not building a mug because I wasn’t making pottery#vs me not building a mug because I’m busy building plates#the skills aren’t going to atrophy quickly but boy does my brain try to pretend they will!#I can still play cello for fuck’s sake and I haven’t played regularly since like 2007#THOSE skills have atrophied#along with my callouses#but I can still play#I had a failure on a big piece right before the end of 2024#and then I stubbornly beat my head against a challenge that was really ridiculous#the clay was too hard but I just couldn’t leave the sculpture alone!#it failed#surprising no one#and then it was kiln time#and I had no time or energy for creating#so I felt kind of stuck I guess#I knew if I gave myself a really easy first day#everything would be fine#and I was right lol#I’m back to making
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regrettably, neither is them being even a little bit ironic
#star wars#jango fett#zam wesell#there are many possible interpretations of their canon relationship and i'm fond of several of them#recently i've been gravitating towards the idea that like. this is all basically an inside joke to them. a bit.#bc like. listen. the banter follows a certain pattern. zam will almost always be the one to initiate flirting/innuendo#and then jango will sometimes play along for a bit but always ultimately rejects her. often with hilarious verbal brutality#and zam is always completely unbothered and often amused#your honor they are Doing A Bit#sometimes though i figure they forget what it looks like to other people#and they are genuinely surprised and weirded out when someone sees their outrageous flirting and assumes they're an item#they're like ''you didn't even let us get to the part where he compares me to a bothawui stinkweed and i swoon away dead in his arms. GOD!!#syn's art
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let me be clear i like veilguard but it does suck that no one disapproves anymore outside of like. three choices. i want to be fighting for my life earning approval back again someone has GOT to hate my ass. i should be careful about party composition and companion reactions again. i miss tactically taking fenris out of the party before i'm nice to merrill like those were the days
#please omg can someone hate my ass . not really. but in previous games it sometimes did feel like i was earning approval back#like a. 'even when we fight i still love you. don't forget that' way . i wanted some uphill battle and dav IS super sanitised#the difference is more staggering to old players than new ones. i think dav plays rly well for someone who doesnt know the franchise#but i keep asking questions like 'should the dalish not be more worried about solas/etc' 'the crows r not this nice'#'why wouldnt isabela ask about varric' 'there should probably be more fantasy racism here'#of course these r the devs who were slandering zevran weeks before release. however its also just. man.#I AM ENJOYING THE GAME THOUGH. just wish it had a bit (a lot) more relevance and respect to what its built up in the prev games#dragon age#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dav#txt#like for example i think one of my favorite small writing moments is cass asking about the inquisitor's family in dai#where she approves if you are also estranged but disapproves if you say you want to go back#because for a split second she does not just see a so called 'herald' that she's forced to work with#it's someone just like her who never got along w their family and despite herself she likes the inquisitor more for it#or it's someone who couldn't be less like her and her dislike and initial mistrust becomes more certain#it just. there's is an amount of depth lost when vg tries this hard to make rook be loved as a default
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Okay but like do you think the flight home after driftmark was fun? Like yeah aemond just lost an eye and they're all in huge trouble but once their up in the air, all three of them on dragon back together for the first time, would that even matter? I bet they were doing tricks and seeing who could fly the fastest, yelling things at eachother and laughing. They're kids, and we know that they all love their dragons, and I just can't imagine they weren't thrilled to finally be able to fly together
#like helaena was definitely super happy for him#aegon lowkey salty that his brother has a bigger dragon but deciding it doesnt matter cause his is prettier#like theyre basically on a trampoline right now they were definitely getting along#even if only while they were in the air#tell me they werent doing ye old barral rolls though#like aemond totally felt like a rockstar up there#you can totally play some epic games on a dragon#probably the only time aegon and helaena got along i assume#i just think about that sometimes#the three of them flying home all their worries far below them#targtowers#i think about them a lot#aegon ii targaryen#helaena targaryen#aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#hotd#house of the dragon#aegon the second#helaena the dreamer#hotd helaena#hotd aegon#hotd aemond#green thoughts#all three of us were drowning and we didnt know how to save eachother but were were all drowing together or smt
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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literally the easiest way to make someone care about a character and make them feel well-rounded beyond basic traits like personality, sexuality, ethnicity, etc, is to give them an actual character arc, and it’s shocking how many people do not seem to fully realize this
you cannot just cram a bunch of tropes. tropes are not the main event, they are tools to tell the story you wish to tell. emotional impact comes from the lead up, so you can’t just jump ahead and expect the payoff to work. “I want this character to just ___ already!” but they’re not there yet. that’s where the arc comes in - how do they get there?
and! most importantly, and this is something I really want people to think about when writing - the most important relationship your character should have, always, is with the world and society around them. defining your character purely through their interactions with other characters are, I find, how a lot of female characters end up feeling flat or not engaging with the themes as much as the male characters, and also how queer and non-white characters wind up as devices for other characters’ development instead of being more fleshed out
#storyrambles#sorry maybe this comes across a bit passive-aggressive but agh fandom drives me crazy sometimes#I’ve seen some stuff concerning dbda and it’s just#‘why didn’t Edwin just sleep with the cat king’ oh my god. did you watch the show. his repression is literally the crux of his arc#‘I’m fixing the end of the show so that they end up together!’ but they’re not there yet. there’s nothing to fix?#‘they better ___ in season 2 or im gonna be mad about it’ how about we let the story play out. how about we calm down and enjoy the story.#‘I need ___ to kiss right now!!!’ do you even enjoy the story. do you even enjoy these characters.#what is their arc. tell me right now. because I don’t think you actually know.#and I’ve seen lots of posts kind of like this but it’s wild with this show in particular because it’s canonically a queer show#so there is no fear of being led along or of no payoff. what are you freaking out about???#gah. sorry. it just frustrates me.#the most interesting character dynamic will always be - to me anyways - the way they interact with the world around them#and the way society has shaped them and they shape society in turn#and relationships with other characters are reflections of the mentality they have received and adapted from society#just like in real life lol#random thoughts
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giggling kicking my feet blushing madly
#fun fact it did indeed take me until the literal end of railway to actually invest anything into train defenses.#both bc of the scoundrel's stupid railway board comp and also bc i wanted luxuries first#i only upgraded it because i realized it was what scales dangerous checks when traveling along the railway.#the scoundrel LITERALLY only invested in safety measures out of its own self interest#yin-thoughts#fallen london#technically speaking sometimes there's choices too cruel even for me and i do indeed go the heroic route#that's why the scoundrel has an occasional (admittedly usually actively dying) sense of empathy/remorse#it's all so i can (rp-wise) justify being a stupid soft rpg player in a playthrough that's otherwise pretty much purely a villain run#like at the end of evolution with the naturalist. if the scoundrel had control over their own account they'd go hanged man#but bc i got attached to him it's just scoundrel lore that they're a guy who sucks and occasionally does one (1) good thing per month#before immediately going back to being evil#they've really evolved over the course of me playing FL. it's been a delight to play and hopefully a delight for yall to witness#scoundrelventures
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sometimes i make myself emotional by thinking about how special it must be to javier that the gang at the very least somewhat learned cielito lindo for him so that they could sing along but now im doubling it by thinking about how kieran may gingerly wander up when javier is quietly plucking at the strings of his guitar, tuning them by ear and relishing in the comfort of the body vibrating hums through the meat of his thighs. kieran will politely sit on a nearby unused bedroll, knees tucked close to his body as though taking up less space is the respectful thing to do, and he’ll point to the instrument in javier’s lap.
“where’d you learn that, mister ?”
javier finds the spindly finger in his peripheral vision, follows it up to the brunette’s nervous face. he offers green eyes an extra glance, and he can see them soften like he’d given himself away already. damn.
“i learned it at home. in mexico, music is a very special thing. we use it to tell stories, history, to communicate with one another. mexico speaks music first, and spanish second. nearly every mexican can play at least a handful of instruments- i couldn’t tell you which one i played first and who it was that taught it to me. by now, it’s like a part of my body, just like it is a part of my soul.”
kieran nods along as javier continues to mindlessly poke and prod at the strings of his guitar, and he finds himself relaxing in a way that he’d never been able to around the man. maybe because javier himself seemed to be so content with his guitar in his lap. like a chef in a kitchen or a mariner at sea, javier brought home to him when the sounds he played echoed through wood and sang loud to his typical audience of outlaws. the crease around his eyes tells kieran that he asked about the right subject- though it seems that escuella is just as good at playing heartstrings as he is guitar strings, with the way that he can feel his blood loudly thrumming in his chest.
“could you maybe… teach me sometime too ?”
the way javier rears his head at the question makes kieran jolt- prey spooked wild in the dark eyes of a predator- though the recognition of excitement (as much as javier attempts to conceal it with apprehension) smooths his bristles back down again.
javier teaches kieran every song he knows, from the ones with all the lyrics he soothes or excites the camp with, to the lulls of wordless melodies that sailed the boat north with him. kieran is good with his hands, and attentive to his every action, so he learns quick and easy, though he’ll never sing a word, even if he could memorize the spanish (and even though he already has a lot of them simply by having dutifully listened to javier sing every night that he could). considers himself a flat dud when it comes to singing. javier is curious, but he’ll never press. often he’s too busy reveling in the sound of home emanating from kieran’s fingers plucking desert lullabies, songs javier thought he’d only ever get to hear from himself.
it hits different, to simply get to listen. to put your boots up on a log and enjoy the ride. he’d been the driver for so long that javier forgot how beautiful the scenery was. he’s grateful that kieran asked him to teach him how to play guitar- he finds himself nearly indulging the idea that when kieran practices or plays, he’s playing javier’s music for javier, and not because it’s the only music he knows. he finds it all too romantic, but the warmth that the idea brings to his skin is just as familiar as the mexican sun, and it aches in his heart how comforting those moments are.
kieran, on the other hand, in his soft, sunken heart, is absolutely playing javier’s music for javier. he can see how the notes have always danced along his smile lines as he sings or hums along to the sound. he’s always seen how protective of his guitar he is. he watches closely as javier plays even when no one is listening, and kieran more than anyone understands just how special something has to be for it to never grace the stage of another’s perception. and kieran, so knee-deep in his affection, wants to give javier the gift of comfort- a form of it so free he may feel he just robbed it from a corpse.
kieran becomes quite good, and javier becomes quite comfortable. often, in the direction of a billow of campfire smoke, you will hear the wordless song of guitar strings, accompanied by the howling gritos of love and grief.
#anyway yeah sometimes i just yhink about them and i start crying#to clarify javi may sometimes sing along when kieran plays but more often he will either just listen or he will only sing the gritos#methinks every time kieran plays el coyotito javier will sing the gritos. he has no choice. he is el coyotito and he must howl#god they haunt me#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#text#i don’t think i have a writing tag which is a bummr#hero's talking to himself again#umm maybe i’ll just make one even tho none of my other wiring posts are tagged either lole#hero’s waxing poetry#there. writing tag.#i’m getting sick :/ i can feel it behind my eyes. ugh. save me javieran save me
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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!
#persona 3 spoilers#minato arisato#hc and au nonsense#lizzy speaks#happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls#you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations#and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4#and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES#objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written#but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently#specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship#it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc#it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but#eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go#“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons#anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙
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my neutral dragon age trait is that 50% of the time i'm like "the more i critique the games, the more i love them. i can appreciate each game for what they are but my criticism and frustration over what they could be are a sign of love" and the other 50% is like "this is the writing of the dragon age series. sure. why not. this may as well happen."
#post inspired by seeing a post where someone was asking a blog like 'hey ive only played veilguard what is a mage circle'#50% biting the bars of my cage over the way lore/plot/priorities have shifted and changed over time#50% along for the ride#but on that first point: looking at the plot of veilguard (stopping solas/elgar'nan and ghilan'nain)#im not surprised the mage/templar shit wasn't a big deal#and honestly any frustration i have with that is more so aimed at dai#bc dai was what first reduced the mage/templar war to 'here are some assholes fighting in the woods'#however.#objectively WILD that someone could play ur whole ass game and not know what mage circles/templars are#and then the confusion over an elven rook's backstory is honestly just laughable to me like akjdsjkdf#theyre dalish but they also lived in a town and if they're a mage they also studied somewhere#like. honestly imo not a big issue but like. a simple dialogue choice could've solved this.#it's so funny to me bc it's ridiculous but also. bring back ambient dialogue choices.#like tldr though#i super enjoyed veilguard and i appreciated it for what it did#and while not perfect. i'm a sucker for a story about friends and bonds.#and i think as an interpersonal story it works really well#and i can at the very least respect the writers/devs making the game not as open world#even though i do miss that a lot (as well as talking to ur companions mechanics)#however. the detachment from previous lore is definitely jarring.#not that i think veilguard needed to be about (for instance) the mages and templars#and honestly im happy we got companions that felt unique#bc i was getting real tired of 'here are the elves who hate each other. here is the one who doesnt trust mages'#etc etc etc#and getting to see all these factions was really nice too (though in a perfect world we'd have a legit origin quest imo)#but even just. some kind of way to bring in prev lore#tldr 2 i have my frustrations with the narrative arc as a whole and find them fun to talk abt#but sometimes im just like. it already happened. it's already written.#i will think abt what could've been while also just having fun w/ what i got#final tldr 3 i think dragon age is just the one series that im not always itching to meta essay on LMAOOO
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we learned that the cat we adopted a couple of years ago was the ‘cool babysitting uncle’ of his colony so we finally got him a kitten
#the kitten is only four months old btw next to a nine-year-old orange senior#he’s a tall boy#cats#i know some of the grooming is dominance behavior#but he also lets the kitten groom him sometimes#even when tigger is not in the mood to play#he plays for about ten minutes anyway#before telling tango to fuck off#tigger shares food and they sleep together#really happy that they get along so well
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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good days aren't easy to come by
#simblr#ts4 legacy#valentine gen 4#fun fact for context on why i care so much abt him finally choosing to play the piano on his own#but it's gonna get Long so strap in#basically. the guitar he used to have had been with him since he was like...... my god. probably about 15#he bought it at a yard sale for pennies from an older woman#it belonged to her late son originally and it wasn't even . supposed to be a part of the sale in the first place. she just took a liking to#devin and figured that really it's better in the hands of someone who would use it than for it to collect dust in her garage forever#and he couldn't really practice at home. his parents... are not exactly the kindest people you've ever seen#he was too afraid of them destroying or throwing it away so he'd sneak off to god knows where and learn how to play it from old#youtube videos on his busted up phone#it quickly became Everything to him. his most prized possession. and it wasn't a shitty guitar either. the son was a professional musician#that's how ellie and devin met in the first place. he was playing at the market she used to sneak out to in the evenings to#and she instantly knew . this boy is going places and really they might as well go together#enough backstory of the backstory. long story short: he was struggling to make rent eventually and was out of vinyls to pawn off#so he had no choice left. it was either that or he'd get kicked out along with his sister. who was still struggling a lot w/ addiction#so he sold it. and it broke him. he's literally just not been the same since losing it#his sister stole him a guitar from a music shop she'd go to sometimes but it just wasn't the same and he had not played an instrument since#until now anyway#still not a guitar. but maybe someday#or he can find his old one and buy it again.........#lmfao if you made it here congrats. you win nothing bc im broke but i do respect you
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I have this problem where my brain thinks if someone is nice to me enough times and I put in enough effort, that means we are friends and I can talk to them in a friendly way, like joking around, asking questions to get to know them more, offering things friends would, etc, but then I always get severely disappointed when they don't reciprocate or have a bad reaction to it. it always punches me in the gut and is so upsetting and disheartening. I could try for many months to be friends, thinking it's mutual, and think we reached that point, but then they tear it all down with one sentence.
it always feels so bad to know I have to walk on a thin rope while interacting with people because I am incapable of reading their intentions and feelings. I never know how someone feels about me or how they see me. I never know where I stand with them.
people don't make it a habit to let you know they consider you a friend, and they always find it weird and inappropriate when you ask them. if you can't read people like me, you're stuck always wondering, always guessing, always incorrect. you can accidentally offend someome who considered you friends for years because they never explicitly told you until you make the wrong comment. or you can creep someome out by acting too friendly after months or even years of assuming you were good friends.
when you always have to walk on eggshells, never knowing the truths, never being able to read people, not being able to ask, and never getting answers you need.....it just leads to living life as if you are alone in a fish bowl, watching everyone around you, but never quite able to reach them through the glass....it's never fun to constantly be knocking on that glass, waiting for the eventual break that will shatter your world into pieces and cut you deep. even if it's just a crack, you have to spend a lot of time repairing it, alone.
they say you don't have to worry about these things if you find the right fish to swim with. find the "the right people." they say it's easy and you walk on solid, safe ground, rather than tread endlessly in the water until you sink and drown... "there's plenty of fish in the sea" perhaps. but what if you're the only fish in the bowl? what if you can't taste the salty sea? what if all you can do is watch through the glass as everyone passes you by with barely a glance? what if you dont find your school to swim with? how do you accept and prepare for that? in a world of possibilities, that is always a possible outcome. it's natural to fear or ponder such an outcome. no one wants to admit that it can happen. and no one seems to have the answers for how to swim on alone in that bowl, always yearning to swim with other fish in the sea.....how does a fish be content in a small bowl alone, even if the sea is more than just a dream?
#ah someone in this brain is trying to be profound. sometimes words just word. do they have real meaning or are they just painting a picture?#lee rambles#autistic#autism#actually autistic#neurodivergent#these words might just be the ramblings of a sleep deprived autistic braincell that just finished playing a video game#and felt the empty impact of a closed chapter of that story#so is this even about people? or is it about stories we experience along the way.....#someone is really trying to hijack the brain and turn it into a poetry puppet. need to go shower and pack for trip and sleep#probably wont remember this post in the morning or understand it but eh. throw it into the abyss. let it go free and taste the sea
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At first everyone cheered, then they all became quiet, as Jaromir lit the fire they all longed for dearly. Even though the day had been hot, this warmth was something else.
"A touch of civilization," Louelle Anna said. "Finally."
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#Shipwrecked on Northeney#summer the 1st#ts3#sims 3 gameplay#Jaromir Fallonfuchs • founder#Moize Zaterdag • founder#Louelle Anna Aerdenwald • founder#I remember everyone came to cheer their new fire#even Bea came to sit near#that is just such a nice thing in ts3#sometimes it feels the sims are really playing along with what you're trying to achieve for them
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