#leave that to the batfamily

[confessedlyfannish]

DP x DC Prompt

Batman grunts a greeting at the boy Selena has introduced as "Danny" as if it's totally normal for a kid to be hanging out on a rooftop with her, kicking his legs out above the edge as if he's not 20 stories up.

Selena shares an equally amused glance with Danny that has Batman scowling harder than his usual as the boy gets up, stretching out from his hunch to reveal a 6 foot 2 build not unlike Jason's.

"Wow, spot on," Danny whistles, grinning at Selena. "I owe you a twenty."

"Darling," Selena purrs, hand finding purchase on his upper bicep. "I never exaggerate."

"Looks like Catwoman's got a new scratching post, B," Nightwing cackles in his comm, which is probably why Batman finds himself gritting out a--

"Little young for you, isn't he?"

The kid--in a hoodie and jeans, seriously, where did Selena find this guy--stares at him incredulously before his mouth stretches into an uncomfortably wide grin, revealing fairly sharp canines. He strides forward.

"What can I say, Mr. The Batman," he says, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. He must be around the same age as Dick. "I've got a thing for powerful women in black."

"See you for dinner tomorrow Lena," he says, hand lifted in farewell as he heads for the edge. He pushes himself over the wall with one hand, dropping over.

Batman clocks Selena's lack of alarm and doesn't flinch. Thirteen seconds later, there's no resounding thud when Danny's body would've met the pavement and she's still smirking at him.

"No metas in Gotham," he growls.

Selena throws her head back and laughs. "If I see any, I'll be sure to call. Now," she kisses his cheek, "I better go. I've got a date tomorrow."

[psychemochanight]

Dick is a pretty boy. Everyone knows it, except him.

There is an unwritten rule about not hitting him in the face, everyone follows it, (even from his time as Robin some people already followed this rule). His siblings when by miracle they train together. His team when they get together to practice strategies and fighting methods. Even the damned villains and evildoers know not to hit the pretty bird in the face.

Dick never finds it strange. Somehow, he thinks it's simply because people have learned that punching him in the face isn't really going to stop him, if they're looking to confuse him, hitting the back of his head is more effective.

It's not until a drug dealer accidentally hits him in the nose for the first time in years, breaking it, that he notices something strange. How could he not? The battle stops for a moment because his companions start yelling at him, telling him that his face is off limits, and the dealer apologizes.

Dick barely blinks and stops them, then goes to his apartment to clean up the blood, the pain not even bothering him at this point. That's why he doesn't understand why not only his team makes a fuss about it the next day, but they even call his siblings to tell them what happened. He's not even that hurt ??????

The only other person who doesn't make a fuss about it is Batman, who has punched Dick in the face enough times to find it odd. Nobody is happy with Batman upon discovering that fact.

[abisalli]

A long overdue ko-fi for the dear @darlinglissa !! Thank you for being so very patient with me <3 You get: Tim being an annoying little brother to Dick (because I've been reading a lot of 90s/early 2000s comics lately)

[prlssprfctn]

Dick is a type of person who gets very (even more than usual) dramatic when he falls sick. His attention span reduces to zero, he is in the middle of writing his will, and he is constantly over-bored, bothering everyone with random calls or by spawning behind their backs out of nowhere.

(It doesn't help that Bruce is paranoid, and every time his kids get sick, he is like in full-time helicopter mom mode as if they are actually about to die in a second, but that's beside the point.)

When Tim gets sick, it is a catastrophe. He is so stubborn about everything that he ignores half of the house. He doesn't even tell others he is sick until he coughs out his lungs or something, and when they finally realize it, he is battling for the right to get everyone off him, because, hey. Nothing happened. He is fine.

If Damian gets sick... It is the cutest thing ever. He becomes so clingy. He comes to put his head on someone's lap or curls on their chests. He huffs a lot too, and mutters something, but he loves to sleep and be hugged, when he is sick, and that's the most charming shit ever.

When Jason gets sick?

Everyone expects him to be the most troublesome person in the world. Because, well, it is Jason. He kicks everyone away, when he is poisoned, he rarely asks to patch him up, unless things go to rough, and he can be flippant as hell when he feels too vulnerable.

But then, Jason actually gets sick, and everyone is an awe, because he is so quiet? His voice becomes smaller, he does whatever Alfred asks him to do, he takes all medicine without throwing a tantrum or asking to sweeten it with something else. He accepts anything, really.

Because when he was a child, long before Bruce found him, he had no place or time to be sick. His mother needed him. He needed to take care of things, he heeded to continue acting like he was fine, like he didn't need help or medicine — he walked around with a fever, and spend restless nights coughing out his lungs.

But then Bruce came. And he was finally allowed to rest. Explained that he needs to be taken care of, and someone in this manor, always will do that for him.

So, when Jason stumbles in the Batcave in the random night, sniffling and trying to suppress cough, Bruce is not surprised in the slightest. If anything, he welcomes him as fast as he can, before Jason can overthink what he did (out of pure instincts, really) and leave again.

Jason came, because Bruce taught him that.

As simple as that.

[arkangelo-7]

Bruce, to the Justice League after a botched mission: You deliberately disobeyed me! And worse, you put Clark in danger!

Clark, who is legitimately indestructible: :(

[fiyaharts]

silly little drawing of the batboys playing video games <3 based off my own experiences in a brown household lol

[the-thing-inside-your-closet]

Nothing You Can Prove

Danny wasn’t having a good time. In fact, he was having a very, very, very, very, bad time.

He was just trying to walk home with his children, his very energetic chaos inclined children, when Ellie declared that she needed to use the bathroom. So, as any responsible parent would, Danny walked with her and Dan to the nearest building that would have an open to the public restroom. And while Ellie was busy using the little girl’s room, Danny focused to ensuring Dan didn’t bite anyone. Again. The last time he drew blood and Danny couldn’t apologise enough to the punk looking guy who seemed completely bewildered by what had happened.

All Danny remembered was apologising repeatedly, turning to scold Dan about biting strangers, and the young man muttering something about some guy named Tom (or was it Tim?) And how he was never going to believe what had happened.

So, safe to say Danny was more focused on watching his child and waiting for the other one than looking at the suspicious group of men that had just walked into the restaurant.

Because of course the first building Danny saw that might have an open bathroom was a fancy upscale restaurant, and not the fast food restraint two blocks down. Ellie had said she couldn’t hold it that long.

But now, Danny had a gun to his face, and his babies hidden behind him as much as he could manage while the two of them subtly tried to shove past him so they could beat the shit out of this butthead for daring to point a weapon at their dad.

Masked thug: Hand over all of valuables! Wallet, phone, everything! Be quick and nobody gets hurt!

Danny calmly reached into his pocket, and hoped that the situation would stay as calm as possible until the city’s local heir or the police could arrive. He didn’t want to have to reveal his or his children’s powers and potentially need to flee yet another city.

Danny: Here, just take it and go.

The thugs had grabbed what they could from as many people as possibly before bolting, leaving many of the patrons upset and shaken from the encounter. Danny quickly turned to his children and vegans looking them over, fussing and making sure they were okay.

Ellie: Dad you never let the guy near us. How could we have possibly gotten hurt?

Danny: With how much trouble you two like to get into, I’m not taking any chances. Now Dan-

Dan was gone. Dan. Was. Gone. Danny felt his chest tighten and his breathing becoming harder to control. Where was his son?!

Just as Danny was about to ask a waitress who had just finished giving her statement to a police officer if she’d seen where his son ran off to, Dan reappeared beside his sister with a sharp toothed grin.

Dan: Don’t worry dad, I got your stuff back. So you don’t have to be upset now!

Danny: …What did you do.

Dan, smirking: Nothing you can prove.

The local vigilante/hero watching this exchange:

[violent138]

Dick Grayson totally woke up both Bruce and Alfred at the crack of dawn to follow through with his personal Christmas traditions (both things he did with his parents and things he wanted to do from movies). It's a very bizarre and extremely fast paced set of tasks and while both Bruce and Alfred suspect Dick's making it up as he goes, they play along and make endless cups of hot chocolate, and acquiesce to all of Dick's demands until both he and Alfred end up passing out during the third movie.

[oifaaa]

So here's the thing leaving out Steph or Damian and captioning it "all the robins ^_^" that's a straight up crime a crime i will be judging you night and day for but leaving out Tim, Jason or Dick and captioning it "all the robins ^_^" hilarious and brave you have provided a true gift to this world I wish you all the love and luck going forward

[timdrakewhump]

Something something.. batfam not recognising the food scarcity mindset in Tim because he came from a rich family.. Tim hoarding food and only eating a little at a time.. Tim refusing to let anyone throw away food.. eating things he hates/is allergic too.. something something.. Tim’s parents not being home long enough to go food shopping for the house.. and now Tim knows how to make basic non perishables last months.. Tim who didn’t want to annoy his parents by asking for food/using their card to order it.. or his nannys or housekeeper by asking them to shop.. Jason is the only one who notices because he did (and sometimes still does) have similar habits.. anyways.

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Alternative Titans Tower scene

Jason, wearing his original Robin suit (that’s sized up to ‘fit’ him: Do you remember me?

Tim: Did you seriously think I was gonna be scared seeing you wear panties?

Jason: what?

Tim: Like Jesus Christ I’m 13. I don’t want to see you wearing underwear. I can see the outline of your di-

Jason: wait no-

Tim: Like everything just hanging there. Did you even look in the mirror before coming here?

Jason: No- that’s not the point.

Tim: God dude. I looked up to you and now I have to see this? It’s gonna be in my goddamn brain forever. I’m gonna close my eyes and it’s gonna be you in those fucking short-

Jason: Can we move on?

Tim: I don’t even think I can. It’s just stuck in my brain now. I’m not gonna look at Robin the same way now and I’m goddamn Robin. God. Do I start avoiding my reflection now? Dr. Freeze is gonna be a nightmare. It’s gonna be like one of those mirror mazes but with pictures of your di-

Jason: Are you done?

Tim: God no. They warned you never meet your hero’s but never because you had to see them in some scaly panties. Seriously I can see you asscrack from he-

Jason, cocking riffle: Okay you’re done.

[qweenofurheart]

their dynamic is so

[fanaticalthings]

Give me crime lord!Jason who's actually on good terms with the batfam. Not only would it actually be helpful when it comes to missions surrounding underground/illegal operations (Jason would be able to retrieve way more insider knowledge) but also I think having a supervillain family member that you're chill with is just untapped comedic potential that needs to be taken advantage of.

---

Damian gets into a petty fight with Bruce, and the next day, instead of waiting for Bruce to pick him up from school, he calls Jason, who shows up in full Red Hood regalia and just rides off with Damian.

Of course everyone at school sees that Wayne's son just got snatched by Gotham's most notorious crime lord, so ofc when Bruce gets there, sees Damian missing, and hears a series of panicked whispers about a gun slinging, criminal biker riding off with a prince of Gotham, Bruce immediately knows what's up and just sighs, already anticipating the many publication companies he's gonna have to bribe to stay silent.

---

Sometimes, they need Jason's help with intercepting certain illegal trades within the underworld of, not just Gotham, but just common areas where shady businesses are most prevalent. And when Bruce requests that Jason brings evidence of said illegal shipments to the cave, Jason will smugly respond with "I can, but it'll cost ya"

And Bruce is all exasperated like, "Jason, please, this mission's been going on for a month, I just want to get it over with."

And Jason's just looking down at the crate of smuggled materials, recognizes that it's highly sought after by many rogues (maybe it's machinery parts or rare chemical substances, etc) and ofc Jason's about to be petty as hell when responding to Bruce:

Jason: I don't think you have any idea how valuable the stuff I have is. If I sold this myself in my part of the underground, I'd make a fortune!

Bruce: Jason

Jason: Butttt, if you're not willing to pay me for this, y'know, despite being a billionaire, I guess I could just auction this off to another willing client

Bruce: Jason

Jason: I hear Lex Luthor's been cookin' up something new for Superman. I wonder if he'd be interested?

Bruce: Son, please.

Jason:

Bruce:

Jason: I'll give you a family discount.

And it's just a back and forth of this EVERYTIME. And Jason only does it when he's collaborating with Bruce. None of the other bats have to deal with Jason demanding money.

---

There was one time, during a Wayne gala where practically ALL the kids (except Jason, dude's still legally dead), had to show up. And around halfway through, the Red Hood just crashes through the skylight and then just fucking kidnaps Bruce Wayne, in front of everyone. And of course the gala has to be cut short.

Meanwhile, Bruce, in Jason's custody: I CANNOT believe you, son. WHY of all times would you do this? You are GROUNDED, I don't care if you don't live with me anymore, this is just UNACCEPTABLE-

Jason, completely ignoring him, holding up a tablet with news article headlines about this incident: Bruce, look at this shot they got of me crashing through the ceiling, I look fuckin' badass

And then when the fam (in costume) come to "save" Bruce, in a blink and you'll miss it moment, Bruce catches Cass and Jason whispering something to eachother in the corner and them fist bumping before Jason books it out of there. He can already feel a headache brewing.

And generally speaking, I feel like the batfam could be way more efficient with this arrangement. You got the regular team of bats, investigating from above, as well as being able to infiltrate socialite environments as Waynes. Then you got Jason, who can keep an eye on all the lesser exposed and lucrative activities whilst he keeps the underground businesses under his control. I feel like it would be a win win situation that would be hella interesting to see explored.

[ryemiffie]

Okay but people who say Jason doesn't see Tim as his brother have clearly never had a sibling before.

Like bro, trying to kill your sibling cause you think they're getting more love from a parent is like sibling 101

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Dick: I am the worse person imaginable and unredeemable.

Tim: Impossible.

Damian: We would love you anyway

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

At times, for inexplicable reasons, Jason feels drawn to his grave like a ghost to its haunt, and then he’ll just stay there for hours at a time regardless of the weather.

This happens at random, and the first time the batfam notice is when Jason suddenly wanders off mid patrol.