#breakdown blogging

[orodrethsgeek]

Dear friends, please blacklist “breakdown blogging” if you need to; I just need to scream into the void

I need to pick an audiobook and put my phone down before I have another “guess I’m just not sleeping” night but also feeling crushed bc even if I medically transition I’m never going to be a cis man and I’m just. Yeah I need to put on an audiobook and go to sleep

[goofygargoyle]

The executive dysfunction (from whatever) is kicking my ass

I need like a squeaky hammer and just. bop on my head to stop. I wonder if I could use the clicker training thing to do that

I managed to mostly stop myself whenever emotional flashbacks start with a phrase/mantra, it could work maybe

Oh it's not like, can't stop thinking about Thing so much as. I can't stop activity and switch to the things I want/need to do. Like sleep.

Like I am Reading This Book or Engaging In Very Active Discord or somehow like, rapidly switching apps but can't put phone down

Which is why I thought of like a squeaky hammer lol

or Drawing why does it. Listen I don't have adhd, this is being caused by burnout, so this is New for me and it's very odd [emote of myself facedown on floor]

[drowningbpdbodies]

If my mental disorders don’t kill me stress sure will

[fashionsfromhistory]

Me every time I log back in to this account

I'm thrilled you're still here! I'm not gonna make any promises but I've missed this blog

[mikehasmilk]

Shout out to

4 Savin' da day!!!!

[clovelie]

i lose everyone because i can't keep myself in check. i want to be okay, i'd do anything to get rid of this anger but i feel like a walking time bomb that hurts everyone i love.

[notquitebuckybarnes]

Open Roleplay Starter

(TW: mental breakdown, vague bit of self-harm and small description of suicidal thoughts)

Bucky sat in a dirty alleyway, shadows swallowing his form so he wasn't to be seen. Something that he wanted right now. No, he needed it. If nobody saw him — noticed him in general — then he couldn't do more damage at least. God, he wasn't even sure in which country he was right now. What he knew through was that his head hurt like someone had tried to split it open from the inside. He knew what that meant and feeled like he would vomit yet nothing came out. He lifted his right hand, fingers burying itself in his scalp. It had happened again. HYDRA. The trigger words. It didn't matter what Bucky did. He always hurt someone. Over and over again.

He squeezed his eyes shut, tears escaping nonethelessly at the side of his face and dropped to the ground. He had brought Viktor Malric Finn and Callum and even another variant of himself that also had the trigger words. His titanium hand fisted the fabric of his dark combat pants. Viktor had given it to him so he would be 'proper equipped'. Yet another thing on the repeating list. How often would such things happen, would someone use this goddamn words? What if next time he wouldn't ''only'' abduct and imprison minors and variants, but kill again?

... Perhaps Steve had been good to leave. Perhaps it would be better for everyone if Bucky would just rot in some high security cell of some government. Or just would end it all together.

He couldn't hurt anyone then anymore. Not as the Winter Soldier, not as Bucky and not intentional or unintentionally. Never again.

Yeah, that sounded like a responsible idea.

((@ireallyliketacosokay and at everyone who wants or thinks about to join: Just do it!))

[lovinglonerhybrid]

Had so much fun at TFCon Baltimore! Met so meany nice people and had a grate time. I hope I’ll be able to come back next year! Here’s some goodie’s I got at the con!

And shout out again to @oozeandgoo-art for the whirl sketch I love it so much!

[startheskelaton]

Hope this doesn't sound rude, I'm simply curious, but is KOBD a thing in your au? I'm asking because ever since I joined this fandom they seem like that one ship every likes (to be fair I only been here for 2 months or so), so I'm a little suprise you never mention them

Oh it 100% is! I even have like a little arc for Sparkplug surrounding them because they come to earth and basically blackmail the autobots into making them a sparkling like Sparkplug (made from two bots).

Basically it goes over a lot of mental stuff with Sparkplug in debating the ethics of creating another Frankenstein’s monster like her. But then we see that it’s completely possible to make another one like her with both parents surviving and being fine, and it just makes everyone sit and think for a while. Because like it’s been said “Sparkplug shouldn’t really exist”, she’s made from a dying spark that caused her a lot of health problems.

Ultimately Knock out and Break down just hang out on earth for a while because they feel like it while Spark gets stuck babysitting a brand new Wildbreak.

The reason I haven’t done this is because I wanna do it kinda well and also I hate drawing Knockout.

But in all seriousness I love those two for real

[pastelpaperplanes]

Introducing KOBD ( and Wildbreak) into Thorns and Thrones AU!!

These two play the part of Rescuers to both Sir Orion and Megatronus at a turning point in their quest!

I’m thinking KOBD are the ones who come across them after this scuffle in the snow gone wrong >:]

Knockout and Breakdown are currently lone travelers on a journey off to the Dinobot Isles! The couple ventured out of the desolate, ever-increasing decay of Decepticon lands in a hurry to secure a stable future for their adorable new addition.

With the re-entering strict Autobot lands clearly not presenting itself to be a safe option to settle down, these two, with their little one in tow, have been making the lengthy journey to the coastlines.

Allies anxiously await their arrival—both in determination to seeing their old friends safe, as well as being in great need of their skills as both healers and warriors.

Trouble is stirring in the cavernous mountains that aid in the sustainment of the Isles. Those who have ventured up for recourses are returning with fewer numbers, strange wounds, and even stranger stories of the web-wielding demon supposedly responsible.

Knockout and Breakdown are off to offer their help in exchange for a place to call home—but first they have to figure out what the hell an Autobot and LORD MEGATRON-!?!? are doing all the way out HERE??

Perhaps after Optimus (ohhh that’s his name!) and Megatron (whoops! merc cover blown) get patched up, their rescuers and new friends made in the Isles will wrangle them into an adventure in the mountains—for for Primus’ sake get them some new gear!!!

[mechstims]

can u make an earthspark breakbee stimboard and use the gifs where they’re both winking? im finishing up earthspark and i love those two so much

Earthspark Breakbee

i hope these are the gifs you meant :3 i love these guys sm and its another pair that i really wish they expanded on more... sigh. TwT idk why earthspark bumblebee reminds me of pizza but he does? lolol

X X X | X X X | X X X

[orodrethsgeek]

I feel like at some point I have to stop hitting new rock bottoms

[goofygargoyle]

So it turns out I'm fucking burnt-out

you know. from existing.

[purerae]

Kieran's reaction to y/n saying she would be fwb with him, but doesn't want to see his face or kiss him during it

THIS MAN WOULD GENUINELY BE SO HEARTBROKEN OH MY GOD LMFAOO

he has pretty thick skin but i feel like this would get him to genuinely break. He values his looks, you and having you so much and the fact that Y/N would give him what he wants but doesn’t want to view him at all???? He’d be thinking about your request for ages and ages, it would literally keep him up at night.

Again, this man has such a high ego, and basically nothing can bring it down — but this? He’d try to play it off as a joke but you can genuinely feel the mood switch.

Kieran is extremely desperate for you, but i actually don’t think he’d agree to this, it would be too heartbreaking for him knowing that the love of his life can’t even bare to look at his face whilst doing intimate things.

Hed probably try convince you for ages to get rid of that request and be friends with benefits without him having to cover his face.

[anoonimthepoorchad]

A loud ass explosion just happened and the whole building shook. And while getting my dog from under the kitchen table I saw smoke coming out of neighboring buildings. There were two explosions actually, and my friend from across the city heard them too but only several seconds later due to sound delay. We heard them almost immediately because of how close they were. There are more missiles in the air. The air raid has been happening for hours already, and we had one earlier at night as well. It's 8 am right now. Cities like Kharkiv (north-east), Lviv (west), Odesa (south-west), Dnipro (south-east), Khmelnytsky and Vinnytsya (west-center) and Kyiv (north-center) were targeted and damaged. I think I'll update later, either with more information or just to say that the air raid is over and that we're ok

[clovelie]

not now honey, i'm busy thinking about what someone said to me 10 years ago that i'm still not over yet