#so many bills due
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If my mental disorders donât kill me stress sure will
#so many bills due#my animals are all having physical breakdowns and need to go to animal hospital#my car broke down so yet another expense#when it rains it freaking pours#the anxiety and stress of it all and feeling like ill never catch up is going to put me in an early grave#bpd#actually borderline#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd problems#bpd stuff#bpd blog
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hahaha Iâm so financially fucked right nowwww
#so many bills due#almost out of weed#no groceries#got my $100+ appointment in a couple days#ughhhh#I canât keep doing this#idk what Iâm going to do when my work contract finishes at the end of December
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
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Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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Also why did July become of the most busiest, hottest and most expensive month of my life
I need August to become boring as shit. No more shit happening to me, no more emergencies, no weddings, no birthdays, no health scares, no more heatwave, no more social obligations, no nothing I just want to stay home, make stickers for my life blood aka patreons and write fanfiction in an air-conditioned space PLEASE
#due to multiple things i had to take a large chunk out of savings and there were several social obligations and i am so tired#there were like planned expenses like bills and the $400 monty pin order which im excited for#and then sudden stuff like an emergency health and family thing and friend could not pay for something so $300ish that way#which is FINE im alright and thats what savings are for and i can always rebuild it#but its also like IM TIRED!!! I WANNA STAY HOME#I DIDNT GET TO DO NEARLY AS MANY ARTFIGHTS AS I DID LAST YEAR#also the heat killing my health but like thats kinda universal rn kdlghlsgds#ON THE UP SIDE#MONTY PINS ARE COMING i am so excited im biting the drywall#its not so much as a vent post as just a bitching post btw im happy this month is ending#actaully theres a lot i wanna talk about let me boot up a stream#sara shush
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How to Have ADHD
1) Be walking around
2) Think or say âOh, when I sit down at the computer, I should [do thing that involves being on a computer/look up thing Iâm curious about/send message that I need to send]!â
3) sit down at computer
4) Absolutely do not do thing in Step 2. Forget that you EVER had a thought resembling Step 2. Do many other things instead on the computer.
5) Stand up and walk away from computer
6) Go to Step 2.
#ADHD#actually adhd#This is my whole god damn day#all the time#I have written so many messages that I've never sent#I have thought of so many very answerable questions that I have never answered#I have remembered so many bills to be paid before their due date that have never been paid#This also applies in the reverse#I will very frequently remember something that involves NOT being at my desk#while seated at my desk#that never ever happens because I completely forgot the thing I needed to do#powered completely by the act of standing#I have hungered for so many meals I've never made or eaten
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Itâs actually astounding how many people donât understand that unless you are a massive HUGE A-List Celebrity (or likeâŠa nepo baby), you donât make that much money as an actor. Itâs why so many working actors do brand deals and sponsorships/collaborations. Lesser known actors may have side gigs in the service industry or with content creation outside of acting.
Plus, a lot of actors are ALSO writers.
The higher ups also donât seem to understand this. Theyâve implied that the picketers are only hurting themselves by going on strike, as they wonât be able to survive without their jobs that donât even pay a livable wage. Theyâre basically giving people the LA/NYC equivalent of $30K a year and saying âWhy are you asking for more? Isnât that already enough? Youâre greedy and you should be ashamed.â
This doesnât even factor in marginalized actors who already get paid significantly less than their more privileged peers. There have been so many stories of HIGHLY RESPECTED Black and Brown actors getting underpaid/underbooked after major award wins.
And letâs not even get into disabled actors and queer actors of color. Omg.
#wga strike#sag strike#like sure you might make a couple hundred thousand to a couple million for a movie but#so many actors have pointed out that you have to use that money to pay bills and pay your staff and pay for your dues and pay for your rep#unless youâre constantly booking (which doesnât always happen) youâre heavily reliant on side gifs#*gigs
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Sorry to interrupt but. This paragraph from the child rearing manual. Reminded me A LOT of your newest comic
An undoubted source of untruthfulness is to be found in the habit of imposing secrecy on young children. Some persons are constantly cautioning little folks against speaking of what they have seen and heard.
I mean if you teach a kid to lie he's gonna start lying about everything!
But if you force a kid to lie because they or their sibling is not safe if they tell you things...well that's still on you buddy.
#i have so many thoughts on Bill and Liam's parents holy shit#like they weren't horrible but they kind of were??#and it was mostly due to societal pressure#something something parallels to how canon bill's parents made him go blind cause they loved him and were scared#flat dreams#asks
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you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off
that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it
#i've been saving so much for it that i paid off over like $2k in the last 2 or 3 months#it's just thinking about how the amount of interest goes off that drives me literally crazy#and my monthly amount i owe is like just under $120#which to some people as a regular bill is more manageable than others. but as i have an irregular income#as a substitute teacher it's something that gives me a LOT of stress.#which is another reason i've been overpaying. in case something happens/i can't get a lot of work#it defers the next due date.#that way it's not urgent but yet i still *feel* it all the time#debt is a crazy kind of thing#and to think that my loans are from COMMUNITY college. two years. publicly owned#when i start taking classes again soon. i currently have enough saved that if i take like ONE class#i can pay out of pocket. and i think im only gonna take one class to start anyway#which will also help with the deferred payments#see i just fucking hate having to think practically about money like this#tales from diana#idk how ppl leave high school and go straight to live in a dorm room at a private university for four straight years#and rack up tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.#first of all that lifestyle was not accessible for me to begin with. even when paying it was such an abstract put-it-off thought#as it is for so many 18-year-olds who are told not to worry about where they apply.#but i had under $12k to repay when the student loan debt was unfrozen last fall#and it's been weighing on me soooo heavily since then. i think about it every damn day#it's like the money i make isn't even mine. it goes straight to mohela and food#keep in mind i also live w my parents & am on their health insurance so someday there'll be moooore bills!!!!
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So I know this isn't anything that like actually needs an apology but it'll make me feel a bit better to say it. Oof whoops this ABoT chapter is super late. Timing kinda sucks since I wanted to have some updates out while s3 was airing but
Been kinda mega busy and stressed since October with the whole condo buying thing which rolled right into immediate day 0 plumbing and boiler issues I had to get fixed and general moving hassle and financial commitment stress and I kinda just fried myself hard. Plus then acclimating to a new place without my familiar street or familiar grocery store or familiar room or any of that. Like there's no "just go home and take your mind off it" to this cuz home is the "it". So I'm just kinda enduring until I can calm the hell down.
And anyway I definitely have progress on ch47, like 7000-ish words of it, but it's the kind of like "there is writing there" and hasn't exactly hit the "there is substance there" that I want ABoT chapters to be. Like this in particular is a chapter I want to be good, not just be done. So it's taking time to get my brain somewhere that can do that.
#anyway#i mean just in case anyone was like wondering if its discontinued to anything#its still going i just can't make it Good quite yet#(plus i need to get furniture cuz as it stands the place is really quite empty and bare except for like my room and the kitchen)#(also the bank had my address wrong so they havent been able to send me any of the mortgage information which was technically due already)#(ive been in contact with them but it's a whole thing)#(plus im still not quite finished with all the utility switching. i still need to get water in my name)#(and the boiler issue fucked up my gas bill so now ive got a crazy high gas bill i just need to... pay)#(i have actually started seeing a therapist but thats a whole other Thing now figuring out insurance and deductables and using my HSA#account and just... it's a lot)#(oh also my homeowner's insurance policy number doesn't actually work for getting me into the online portal. and the geico guy said he was#looking into it but I havent heard anything in a while)#(its a lot im just gonna melt for a while i guess)#(plus all the upfront stress has made it really hard to associate the new place as 'home' instead of 'place of great many plumbing evils')#(i sat on like 4 million couches this week and the only one i really really like probably doesn't quite fit in my living room)#(the downstairs neighbors tv is too loud and i need to talk to her about it in a way which isn't 'hey im holding on by a thread and this#one small inconvenience is the thing which is making me turn into ash')#(oh thats right i have to go pay my january HOA dues...)#(oh also I need to file for the owner-occupied tax exemption thing now that its 2023)#anyway......... ill be normal eventually. im just not normal right now.#chrissy speaks
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I have brought the two halves of Spacehead back together. I now await my significant other to join me with glitter glue.
#I thought glitter glue would be fitting. Glitter is just tangible interactive stars after all is it not?#For now though I sit in the void and wait.#This is fine. I spend most of my time in the void anyway.#The broken half of the House froze over but everyone in it should be fine. Freeze overs aren't uncommon here.#We will have to step it up a bit though. I only wish we could do so more often but alas. We two take up too many spoons to front normally.#Yes the idea IS to literally glue the house back together. Don't worry Dark if you ever read thisâ it'll fade with time.#pk;m Mischiefâ#I do not expect this to hold for the record. What we're doing is forcing and speeding up recovery.#Whatever happened is a result of stress and it'll truly fix itself when the stress dies down.#While I'm here I'll try to remove the starmates from the broken half of the House into the other half and see if they defrost.#If soâ good! If notâ I tried. they'll defrost in due time.#... I can also possibly fix Bill's injuries with glitter glue too I think that'd look cute. Like a hell.o K.itty bandaid but not.#Anyways. tl;dr: forcing things right now and it won't hold but once life Stops being horrid things will fix itself.#I just need to gather everyone in one spot for the time being.#Anyways! With that said I shall put the body to sleep and update in the morning. Goodnight!
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Someone please tell my hyperanxious ass to calm the fuck down...
#anxiety~~#when you make a decision on 1/6 with a deadline of 2/15 and you're stressing yourself out#and I'm also waiting for my second payment so I can pay off bills for the month and I'm sitting here like 'oh no I can't get it done'#knowing damn well it's due late month like 18th#the month is moving slow?? this week is moving slow or I'm moving fast I'm not sure but#I kinda hate this feeling#I have so many plans for this year#and yet what I need to do first and foremost is SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN
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oh yeah not sure where we're at w money btw. we might be able to get some of it back but we wont know anything concrete until friday
#the fey speaks#which is why i haven't been reblogging the d0n0 post#like. i got $115 total and we Do need to buy groceries before friday and also some of it has already been spent on gas for getting to work#so what i'm saying is the support i got so far has already be immensely helpful#i am just not sure how much more help i will need or by when. or anything. until friday.#and i'd hate to keep askin only to end up not needing it ig. that said if anyone still wants to send me a few bucks while understanding tha#i won't say no. there are many things i need money for in this world rn. like a new belt. been thinking abt a cane. but idk how much it#would help so i haven't been able to justify the cost to myself#but like. there's probably better things you could be doing with your money rn.#also its been really hard for me to get info bc no one (my parents. whose bank acct it was.) wants to fucking talk about it#like. i live here too idk i think i should be allowed to know like what days bills are due and exactly how much they cost!#bc originally i was told (by my mom) that Literally All of our bills were due this past monday. and we would have#no power water or gas. but we still do. somehow. so idfk#and she won't talk to me abt it if i ask she just Stops Responding or walks away#and if i try to ask dad he just responds âi don't knowâ or starts crying. or like self loathing spiral#so basically. even if we get 100% of the original money back#its ALSO possible we will have a shit tone of late fees and overdraft fees to pay. no clue : )
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when your infusion nurse does the math and finds out that the medicine you receive for your infusions costs $81 per milliliter lmaoooo
#and this is why so many people in this country go bankrupt due to medical bills đ
#crohnie#spoonie
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feeling awful
#idk why#lack of finances probably#so many bills due and not enough money coming in :(#feeling restless and anxious and like everything is too exhausting and stressful to be worth existing
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guys keep your fingies crossed, husband is trying to find a new job and if he does he can cash out his pension from current shit job and after taxes get like 12K and we can use that to pay off all!!!! of our debts.
i need my debt paid off way more than i need a 12K pension yanno
#the only way weâll get to retire is by being rich anyway so itâs not like that pension money is doing anything useful#so many bills could be paid off with that money and then we could actually start SAVING and INVESTING money#instead of just flushing it down the toilet to keep the debts from being past due but never being able to make progress#my credit score would shoot the fuck up#Hermes please đ I need this so badly
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fixed all the links in the ravenloft fics cause some of the Next links were going back. i went through all eighteen next and previous links :')
time to double check honey!
might work on separate masterposts at some point today idk
#authorâs note#ive got bread rising and too many bills due#so naturally#i avoid them like an adult#and work on Tumblr Thins instead
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