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videogamelover99 · 8 days ago

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[Gravity Falls] Waking Days Ch. 9: Confrontation

Summary: Bill Cipher is reborn, but not in the way he would have wanted. Stuck as a mortal and relying on those who brought his downfall, he realizes that maybe he didn't lie as hard as he should have. [AO3 Link] Characters: Bill Cipher, Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines, Stanford Pines, Stanley Pines, Jheselbraum the Unswerving, The Axolotl Pairings: past BillFord Rating: T

The flash had been blinding, and once it cleared, everyone in its vicinity had vanished.

Coming out of the pet shop with a newly adopted axolotl sitting snugly in a tank under his arm, Dipper took approximately 30 seconds to start panicking. He saw Stan, looking just as bewildered as Dipper, and ran toward him. “Oh man, what was that?! What do we do?”

“Uh.” Stan leaned over to pick up something from the floor. It looked like a small, heart-shaped golden locket. Stan turned the locket over, knocked on it a few times, and tried to bend it with his teeth. “Yup. This sure is real gold, alright.”

“How is that gonna help us? Everyone just got sucked into a wormhole or, or-”

“Look, not that I’m not an expert on family members getting sucked into weird portals…” Stan made a face. “That was funnier in my head. But whatever's left of ‘em is this thing, which makes me think it’s not just a great thing to pawn off back at the shop.”

Dipper gently put down the axolotl tank and took the locket, turning it over in his hands. It was smooth, apparently real solid gold, and about the size of a cherry. Dipper tried to open it, but it wouldn’t budge, the seam shut tight. Dipper shook it. Nothing rattled. He was about to try to take Stan’s advice and bite it when his thumb brushed over a rough patch on its otherwise smooth surface. He squinted at incredibly tiny writing on the side near the hinge. “Wait, look at this. ‘Property of the Love God. XOXO. DO NOT STEAL’.”

“Love God, isn’t that some weirdo that showed up to that music festival the kids love so much?”

“Yeah,” said Dipper. “He was also an actual god. I think if we find him, we might find what happened to Grunkle Ford and Mabel and…everyone.”

“Sure, finding a god. How hard could that be?" Stan finally noticed the tank near Dipper’s feet. “What’s with the weird pet? We got enough problems in the house."

“He’s, uh…” Trying to explain Bill's riddle to Stan would be worse than pulling teeth. At least a dentist wouldn't feel like an idiot for doing his job. "A clue?”

“Right,” said Stan, not daring to pry into it any longer. “You take the lead on this one, kid. Why does it feel like I’m forgetting something?”

“Hey guys!” They turned to see Soos running up to them, juggling four hot dogs in between his fingers. “You would not believe what’s up with that hot dog vendor. He told like, the craziest story…Hey, where’d everybody go?”

—

The first thing Ford felt upon waking up was a headache. The second thing was that the ground under him was soft, too soft for them to still be at the mall. He sat up, rubbing his head, and realized he’d lost his glasses. Luckily, he had several pairs hidden on his person for this very occasion.

He popped on a new pair of glasses and looked around.

The ground under him turned out to be a plush, velvet couch of a subtle shade of pink. He was in some sort of wide, cavern-like room, with off-white walls, candles floating under the spacious ceiling, and lacy pink curtains hanging over the windows. White tiles lined the floor, so spotless he could see his reflection. In the center of the room emerged a white marble fountain, spewing out curtains of water around the figure of a baby-like creature with a bow and arrow. The arrows were tipped with little hearts.

A cherub.

Ford was starting to put together where he’d ended up. And it didn’t look great.

He spotted Nora and Melody on a similar couch a few feet away, just beginning to stir from the slumber they’d been put under. On the other side lay the man who’d called himself a wizard, curled up around his suitcase.

Beside him, that infernal voice spoke: “Ow…”

Bill sat up next to him. He rubbed his eyes and squinted against the brightness of the chamber. “What-” His eyes found Ford’s and he opened his mouth, no doubt to make another horrible comment when he noticed the fountain in the middle of the room. “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Ford ignored him, searching for his niece. She seemed to be waking up as well, her head propped on the foot of the couch. Ford knelt next to her and looked her over. “Woah,” she said, looking around the room in wonder.

Ford couldn’t blame her dazed expression. He could feel the air brimming with magic, not unlike the feeling just after taking a shot of cosmic sand. “You’re not hurt?”

Mabel shook her head. “Where are we?”

“What a lovely question!” A voice said from above. Ford looked up.

It was a woman, or at least, Ford was pretty sure it was a woman, but in his thirty years of traveling the multiverse, he had learned that it was always better to ask. She was small, almost as short as Mabel, wearing a beautiful baby-pink suit and heels. Her large blue eyes peeked through a pair of stylish cat-eye glasses. She held a clipboard in her hands as she hovered above their heads, a pair of white, fluffy wings beating in unison, too small to keep her above ground by any reasonable measure of physics.

“You, my dear, are in the Love Goddess’s Center of Relationship Rehabilitation! We pride ourselves in helping couples, friends, family, and mortal enemies to find honest communication and mutual understanding! My name is Hermaphroditus (all pronouns are welcome!), and I will be your host!” She said it like she was reading a well-rehearsed script. “Now, before we start, there are some guidelines I’d like to establish. First!”

“Um, excuse me-,” Melody spoke up.

“-No physical, quantum or magical weaponry of any kind! If you have any weapons currently on you, please deposit them in the lobby, into the designated receptacle.” A white plastic bin with a caution sign on the front materialized beneath her. “Usually, this isn’t much of an issue…” She pulled out a small, transparent device, about the size and shape of a portable phone, and scanned them one by one before her eyes landed on Ford. “...Sir, why do you have an arsenal of interdimensional weaponry on your person?”

Ford had the sense to feel a little embarrassed to have gone bowling with a 100-kilowatt laser pistol under his coat if it wasn’t a force of habit. “I have only what’s necessary.”

He expected a smart-ass comment from Bill. Instead, Bill sat down and started untying his shoe.

“Actually, we’re-” Melody began, only to be cut off again.

“No matter!” The cherub snapped her fingers and the gun at Ford’s side vanished instantly. And so did the knife in his boot. And the magnet gun. And the spare quantum grenade. All the weapons materialized inside the plastic bin, only for the bin to also vanish in a blast of pink smoke. Ford fought the urge to grasp at his empty holster. “Please follow the instructions before you enter the facility! Now, rule number two: always keep your hands and feet inside the external barrier, especially during the trials! Seriously, we’ve had too many accidents and none of them looked pretty. Third, you must always- Agk!” Hermaphroditus dropped the clipboard as a size 10 shoe hit her square on the forehead, skewing her glasses.

Bill cackled.

The cherub straightened her glasses and glared daggers at Bill. “Sir, refrain-”

Bill cut her off. “Alright, Bird-brain, listen up! I don’t care about whatever lousy speech your mommy prepared for you because I’m not supposed to be here! Someone-” He shot a look at Nora. “Got me roped in all of this, and I want out.”

Hermaphroditus looked confused. “Not supposed to be here?”

Ford cleared his throat. “Actually, none of us are. You see, that man over there-” He pointed at Excelsior, who was just beginning to stir- “Transported us here against our will. This is all a misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding?”

“Yes?”

The woman blinked at him once, twice, then darted to the ground, picked up her clipboard and started shuffling through the pages. “Aha. ‘If a guest goes back on their contract halfway through the session-’”

Bill started pulling off his other shoe.

“But we didn’t agree to anything!” Mabel said. “It was all that guy! He was being a total creep to Melody!”

Melody smiled politely and didn’t say a word. She looked like she wanted to fall through the floor and disappear.

The cherub looked up from her clipboard. Now she seemed strangely nervous, which made Ford feel uneasy.

“I see…” she said. “One moment please.”

Then she POOFED out of existence in a cloud of pink smoke.

“It looks like we’ll be stuck here for quite a while,” said Ford.

Bill groaned and went to hunt for his missing shoe. Ford hoped it fell into the fountain.

“Oh, I know!” said Mabel. “Let’s all take turns telling each other weird stories, that works great to pass the time!”

“Great idea, I’ll start!” Bill seemed to have found his, unfortunately dry, shoe, and shoved it back onto his foot, fumbling with the laces. “There was a time Sixer-”

Before Ford could march over there and pummel him for daring to say anything possibly compromising to his niece, someone else beat him to it. Bill squawked and jumped back as a fist almost collided with his face.

Excelsior the Wizard stood in front of Bill, hands balled into fists. “You ruined everything!”

—

Deep in the Love Goddess’s Center of Relationship Rehabilitation, in a dimension very different from our own, was the center office. Hermaphroditus scrambled behind the door, panicking, and hurried across a long, silver bridge to the circular podium in the center.

As they crossed the bridge, dozens of fountains sprung up behind them on either side, following their path. They always thought it was a little extra, but the first rookie mistake one makes on the job was criticizing one’s boss.

Especially if said boss also happens to be their mother.

In the center of the platform, framed by a shimmering waterfall that cascaded from the ceiling, in a golden throne sat the most beautiful woman in ten thousand dimensions.

Numerous floating displays surrounded the Love Goddess, casing a faint magical glow over her features. She hummed something under her breath as she adjusted a dial on one of the displays.

Hermaphroditus cleared their throat.

The Goddess blinked up from her screen. “What is it, dear?”

“We might have a problem.”

—

“Woah, woah, woah!” Bill backed away quickly, raising his hands in front of his face.

Mabel watched as Excelsior the Wizard swung another punch, only to barely miss as Bill ducked out of the way. The man lunged at Bill, only to trip over his own coattails. He quickly recovered, tossing his coat over his shoulder. “This was supposed to be my chance! You weren’t supposed to be here! None of you were!”

Bill backed up until his legs hit the fountain. “That ain’t exactly my problem, pal!”

The Wizard guy lunged at Bill. The demon ducked out of the way, and the man’s momentum carried him face-first into the fountain, sending several gallons of water over the edge.

Mabel couldn’t help but giggle. Excelsior sat up and coughed up water. The spray from the top of the marble statue trickled down the top of his head.

Melody stepped forward. “Lukas…”

“You think this is funny?!” Excelsior raged, glaring at Mabel.

Ford took a step forward, putting a hand on her shoulder. “That’s enough. I don’t know what you were planning to-”

But Excelsior jumped out of the fountain and ran for his suitcase. He flung it open, and pulled out his magic wand.

He aimed the wand at Mabel and Ford tried to push her out of the way.

The wand…fizzled out in a handful of sparkles. Excelsior stared at it, uncomprehending.

“That does not work here,” said Nora, walking over calmly to stand next to them. “Neither does any other magic item. It’s a constructed dimension, the only magic that’s permitted is its own. But again, what do I know? I’m just a mediocre, wanna-be magician.”

Realizing he had nothing he could use against them, the man looked between the five of them in humiliated horror. Melody avoided his gaze, staring at the ground.

“I’ll be taking this,” said Ford, and ripped the wand and suitcase out of his hands.

They assembled a little bit away from the wizard in a makeshift huddle.

“We need to get out of here,” said Melody.

“Why are we discussing this with him?” Ford snapped.

“I’m stuck here just like the rest of you!” Bill snapped. “I get it, your favorite pastime is inventing scenarios where you thwart my ‘evil plans’ or whatever, but obsessed much?”

“You are literally evil!”

“Eh, morality is relative.”

“You-!” Ford took a breath, balling his hands into fists. He pointed an accusatory finger at Bill. “I don’t know what you were doing with my grand-niece, but whatever you’re planning-”

“She asked me to help her!”

“Don’t think I can’t see right through-”

“Oh, here we go. Stoke your own ego enough, Fordsy? Cause you and I both know which one of us is best at that.”

“Ahem.” The boys both froze when Nora cleared her throat. “As entertaining as this is, we still have a problem. Well, two problems.” She cast a pointed look in Excelsior’s direction.

Mabel chose that moment to speak up, hoping to soothe some of the tension. “And Bill wasn’t up to anything, Grunkle Ford. I asked him to come with us. For a mystery.”

Ford looked at a loss. “...I suppose…I suppose we should figure out where we are, and how to get back,” he said hesitantly.

“Well, we know where we are,” said Nora. “The cherub we just spoke to laid it out quite nicely. The ‘Love Goddess’s Center of Relationship Rehabilitation.’”

“So, couples therapy,” said Mabel. That jerk of a wizard wanted to send himself, along with Melody, to magical couples therapy. On the one hand, super thoughtful if they were dating! Which they weren’t, because Melody had been happily paired with Soos for the past year, and as far as Mabel was concerned, it better stay that way. Her ultimate relationship chart would be completely unbalanced otherwise.

“That’s a simplistic way of looking at it,” said Nora. She frowned at the high ceilings. “I heard the Love Goddess as a more…approachable type. I suppose a few thousand years can change a person.”

“Who is this ‘Love Goddess’?” asked Melody.

“Oh! You might know her better by one of her human aliases. Aphrodite, Yue Lao, Hathor…this is her domain,” Nora gestured at the room around them. “A dimension composed entirely by magic. What we’re seeing is just an illusion, there is most likely nothing but a vacuum behind these walls.”

Bill rolled his eyes, but Mabel was sure it was a miracle that he stayed quiet through Nora’s speech.

“Can’t we just wait for that cherub to come back and explain what happened?” asked Melody.

“Ha! That’s funny,” said Bill. “You haven’t met her, toots. LG’s not, uh, a type to just let us go without getting something out of it. Fun at parties, though!”

“Okay…” Melody frowned. “How do we get out, then?”

“The thing about artificial dimensions is that they are inherently unstable,” said Nora. “Think of it like that movie, uh…The Matrix? Look out for any flaws in the illusion. We might be able to get through to a different space-time within this universe.”

“Or,” said Mabel. “We could do those relationship trials!”

“No!” all of the adults yelled simultaneously. Mabel huffed.

—

Interesting.

The Love Goddess tapped her perfectly manicured nails against the console, a small smile forming on her lips. She watched the six occupants of the room argue with each other.

“Should we send them back?” Hermaphroditus asked, clutching their clipboard.

“No,” said the Goddess. A brilliant idea overcame her. She pulled up another display and generated six nodes, idly playing with different pairings and configurations. Should it be worst to best? Chronological? Random?

No. This combination would get the best results possible. Love Goddess sent the node configuration over, and her child looked at it with weary agreement. “This is going to be very interesting.”

—

They broke apart to look for something that could get them out. Mabel sidled up next to Melody and put a comforting hand on her arm. “Hey, how’s it going?”

Melody offered a barely-there smile. “It’s going.”

Mabel shot a look at the Wizard. He was watching them from across the room, curled up in a defeated little hunch. “That guy-”

“Let’s not talk about him,” Melody said quickly. She knocked on the wall a few times. “I dunno, is this weird enough to be one of those flaws your alien friend mentioned?”

Mabel frowned, but let Melody change the subject. She pressed her ear to the wall, concentrating hard to hear…anything. It just seemed like a regular wall to her.

She wondered if this place was anything like Mabel Land. And shuddered. That wasn’t…her at her best by a long shot. And besides, there wasn’t anything she wanted to forget more.

Mabel Land was perfect, except when she finally decided to stop being a willing prisoner. Then it showed its true colors.

Was Dipper right? Was she just falling for a new illusion? She thought she’d been careful, it’s not like she really trusted him.

Did she?

Mabel didn’t realize she was staring at Bill. He had his back to her, deep in another heated argument with Ford.

“Are you okay?” Melody asked. She followed Mabel’s gaze. “Oh man, yeah…How’s it going with, uh, the king of demons or whatever? I heard last year was a real nightmare. Literally. Soos had literal nightmares about it.”

So had she.

“What? I’m fine,” said Mabel, smiling and rolling her eyes. “Bill’s not the king of demons, he’s more like…the frat boy party guy. Of demons. And he’s none of those things now, so…” She pointed a thumb at her chest. “I’m rehabilitating him!”

“Uh.” Melody did not seem reassured by that statement. “So he really isn’t dangerous?”

“Nope! Not at all!”

“That’s good, then. I was worried about you and Dipper, you know? You’re both just kids.”

“Sister, you don’t know the half of it!”

Bill wasn’t dangerous. He wasn’t! She’s seen him trip over a fold in the carpet, get scared of his own cough, and get defeated by tickles. Twice. Mabel had it covered.

And he wasn't tricking her, even if he thought he was. It wasn't like…before. She knew better now, knew how to see through whatever lies he told her.

She wouldn't make the same mistake again.

That’s when she noticed something odd with the cherub statue.

She pointed at the head, where she could see, just for a second, the eyes darting back and forth, trained on them for a split second before staring at the ground. “Look at that! That’s so creepy.”

“Yeah.” The two of them approached the fountain, looking up at the cherub’s face. Again, those eyes. “That shouldn’t be happening, right?”

“Nora said this place is like, super magical, but-!” Mabel hopped on top of the statue and grabbed the cherub’s cheeks, staring intensely at its face. “Speak to me, magic man!”

Then one of her feet slipped, and Mabel held onto the head for dear life before she could fall, dangling in the air. There was a creak, and then a SNAP, as the neck broke.

“...He’s resting,” said Mabel.

“Did you find something?” Grunkle Ford called as he approached the statue.

Inside a compartment in the neck sat a big red button.

Mabel loved big red buttons. She pushed it.

In a shower of pink, glittery sparkles, the statue and the fountain disintegrated. Mabel fell five feet down, and Ford caught her before she could hit the ground. He lifted her up and cheered. “Mabel, you found it!”

“Huh,” Nora came up next to them, examining the new, fountain-sized hole in the ground. “I suppose they had their own emergency exit.”

Inside the hole was darkness, not unlike the neverending darkness of the bottomless pit. It didn’t look very welcoming.

“That doesn’t look very friendly,” said Melody, as if voicing Mabel’s thoughts.

“It should be fine,” said Nora. “The in-between space-”

“Yeah, yeah, we know,” Bill said impatiently. “What do we do about Mr. Excel Sheet?” He pointed a thumb at Melody’s creepy Ex.

“It’s Excelsior!” the wizard snapped.

“Wow! No one cares!”

Suddenly, Hermaphroditus appeared above them with a POOF. “We’ve extensively reviewed your file, and-” She froze, looking past them at the hole in the ground.

“No time,” said Ford, taking Mabel by the hand. “Let’s go!”

—

Hermaphroditus watched as the five people he’d been tasked with reforming disappeared into one of the facility’s emergency exits. He looked past it in shock, at the young man in the trench coat still sitting in the corner.

“Don’t look at me, I don't know them!”

He really wished Mother would just fire him. It would be so much easier.

—

“So where exactly do we find this guy?”

“Uh,” Dipper buckled his seat belt and crossed his fingers that Stan had his cataracts fixed as they pulled out of the parking lot. “Last time, he was one of the musicians on the setlist. But the festival is still a month away…Well, it's not like he can be across the country, right? That locket had to come from somewhere.” Dipper pulled the locket out to examine it again.

“We could start knocking down doors and harassing people,” Stan suggested.

“I could put up some posters-”

Dipper realized this would take a while. And who knew what Mabel and Ford were up against?

He really…hated how he left things with Mabel. It didn't take long for Dipper to realize that Bill really had nothing to do with that rift. If he had, he would have done everything to prevent them from seeing it. Unless this was a sort of double ruse?

It didn't matter. Once this was all over, Dipper would show Ford and Stan the rift. They’d know what to do. Right now, they needed to find Mabel.

“Got it!” Soos piped up from the backseat. That's when Dipper realized he had his laptop open the whole time, and had been furiously typing while Dipper and Stan debated on whether Toby Determined could be bribed with food.

Soos flipped over the laptop to show them the screen. “Check it out, dudes!”

He had pulled up an article with the title: “Musician Found in Portland, Millions of Fans Left Heartbroken”. Underneath was a blurry picture of a blond, plus-sized man in a pink shirt attacking the camera with a slipper. Behind him, in front of a beautiful two-story house stood an older woman in a bathrobe, smoking a cigar and unphased by the commotion. You could barely make out the address printed on top of the front door.

“That’s him!” Dipper said. “He’s in Portland?”

Stan suddenly made a U-turn in a lane that was definitely illegal to make U-turns in. The approaching car honked loudly as he cut it off.

“How’d you find that so fast?” asked Dipper once his insides didn’t feel rearranged anymore.

“I have my ways,” Soos said sagely. Then he took off his hat and twisted it nervously. “Besides, we gotta find them fast, right? I hope Melody’s alright, dudes.”

Right. Soos was worried about his girlfriend. Mabel was as familiar with all this weirdness as Dipper. Ford thrived in it. Nora seemed perfectly capable and Bill…Bill was the weirdness.

Melody wasn’t like them. She hadn’t been through Weirdmaggedon or half of the adventures they’d been on last summer. No wonder Soos was worried. Dipper hoped she was alright.

—

Melody opened her eyes, trying to rub the black spots in her vision away, and looked around.

She was sitting in a dimly lit corridor. Fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting stark shadows against plain, pink wallpaper and white, carpeted floor. Aside from the consistent color scheme, it almost looked like a completely different building. More backroom office vibe than a remodeled Greek temple.

“This is just like being back in the dating pool,” Melody muttered.

She was also alone. They must’ve been split up when they jumped through that dark…hole…portal thing.

Cautiously, she made her way down the corridor. There were no doors, no windows, and no signs. The only thing different was that the corridor turned left fifty feet down. She peaked behind the corner.

Rows upon rows of office desks filled a large, warehouse-like space. The same pink-and-white color scheme prevailed, out of place with the cubicles and office lights.

She crept slowly forward, darting behind a plastic potted plant. Two cherubs in the same uniform as Hermaphroditus were talking in front of the water cooler, their backs turned to her.

“I’m telling you, it’s inflation!”

“You just haven’t been saving up. When I was your age-”

“When you were my age, galactic smoothies cost twice as little.”

“Buy less galactic smoothies!”

“I like living, thanks!”

Melody searched for an exit sign or a window or something. The only other place to go was behind the nearest cubicle.

She took a risk, darting by as soon as the cherubs’ conversation got heated. Thankfully, the cubicle was empty. She crouched under the desk and tried to think of a plan.

“Ooh, I think these two would work really well together!”

Mabel.

It came from somewhere deeper within the cubicle maze, a harsh, loud whisper among the clicking of keyboards.

“You think so?” Another voice replied.

“Yeah! Opposites attract! Plus, they admire the qualities they both share. That’s very important.”

“Wow, kid, you’re good at this.”

“You know it, dog.”

Melody slowly crawled toward the voices.

“Now these two…these are tough.”

“Yeah. I don’t even know where to start. If I can’t meet the quota-”

“Hm. I can see a rivalry thing going on. Maybe some juicy shared history? Ooh, pull up their childhood files!”

“Where did you learn this stuff?”

“Romcoms and teen magazines, mostly.”

A few cubicles down, Melody spotted them. Mabel was sitting on the desk, chatting with a young-looking cherub that was perched in one of the uncomfortable-looking office chairs. They were both staring intensely at the screen and arguing over very complex-looking diagrams. The cherub had an “INTERN” label pinned to the front of their shirt.

“Mabel?”

Mabel looked up from the screen. “Melody! You’re here!” She jumped down, dragged Melody by the arm, and yanked her inside the cubicle. “This is Jeff! Say hi, Jeff! This is my friend’s/adopted second uncle’s girlfriend! Which makes her my adopted second almost-aunt-in-law!”

“Hi,” said Jeff shyly. “Nice to meet you, Mabel’s adopted second…aunt…?”

“Melody.” She looked at Mabel. “Do you know what happened? Where are the others?”

“Nope!” said Mabel. She didn’t look worried. If anything, she looked downright giddy. “We all got split up, I guess. Must be one of those things that happens with magical portals.”

“Right.” Melody decided she wasn’t gonna think about it for too long. “We should find them, then.”

“We will! Jeff said he could get us info on where they might be. I promised to help him with his assignments, first.”

“I’m supposed to arrange the romantic pairings in Cincinnati for the week,” said Jeff.

“And I’m kind of an expert,” Mabel bragged. “Anyway, I think those two should run into each other. You know, like at the laundromat. Somewhere they haven’t seen each other before. Showing a side of each other they haven’t seen before.”

Jeff typed something into the computer eagerly. “And then?”

Melody sat down. This was going to take a while.

—

“Lovely,” said Nora. “I suppose I’m stuck here with you.”

“Believe me, the feeling’s mutual.”

They looked down the thirty-foot gap between their room and the next. On the other side was a large door, above which sat a stone cherub, bow at the ready, its face smugly staring down the center of the room.

“Didn’t think she’d go for the dungeon aesthetic,” Bill admitted. Because that’s exactly what this place looked like, rendered, of course, in a bold choice of white and bright pink. Aside from the spikes at the bottom of the gap, some of the tiles on the floor were clearly rigged as pressure plates. Who knew what fun things each one did? One way to find out!

Nora yanked him back before he could press on the one closest to them. “Are you suicidal, or did your body get twice as less brain cells as the old one?”

“I was incorporeal! I had no-! Wait-”

“Ah. That explains so much.”

He’d walked right into that one. Bill couldn’t even be properly angry about it. “What’s it gonna do, huh? Summon a cherub to start telling us the virtues of friendship? Throw magic love potion glitter in our faces?” Okay, maybe that last one was kind of scary to think about. “LG’s style is less dismemberment and more never-minding-her-own-business.”

“Oh, you two got along well, then. On both accounts.”

She tried to make it sound like an insult. Hilarious. It was like she forgot who she was talking to. “You got any better ideas?”

“Actually, I do.” Nora walked over to the wall behind them and started…feeling around.

“Wow. Why don’t you ask that wall out for dinner first?”

“Oh, grow up,” she said. Despite the words, her tone was insufferably calm. “This must be one of the trials. This means there should also be a safety hatch, in case one of the workers gets trapped here by accident. I just need to find it.”

“Uh-huh.” Bill sat down and propped his back against the neighboring wall. “Have fun with that.” He closed his eyes.

There was a funny thing that happened whenever Seven Eyes showed up. There was the anger, obviously, the indescribable, indomitable rage that bubbled to the surface. Had Bill gained all his powers back, he would have incinerated her on the spot, the lousy, ungrateful traitor that she was.

No, the funny thing wasn’t the rage, it was the other thing. A feeling that reared its head in the back of his mind and stifled the anger until it was almost painful.

It was like the stab of hot coals he felt when he was in Mabel’s dream, but quieter. It was like when-

Don’t. Shut up.

Bill didn’t realize he was clenching his fist until he felt the sting on his palms from where his nails tore through the flesh.

He didn’t remember what he was thinking about, but he didn’t have to. The noises from the other side of the room turned into very frustrated ones.

He opened his eyes and saw Seven Eyes sitting down on the ground, glaring at the other side of the pit.

"Aren't you the one with all the fun gadgets? Didn't think you'd give up so easily."

She completely ignored him. Seriously?

“Hey.”

“...”

“Hey, Seven Eyes.”

“...”

“What, don’t have any comebacks?”

“...”

“Come on, you can’t seriously keep this up forever.”

“...”

“Hey.”

“...”

“Right, you think you’re so above me to have a conversation.”

“...”

“Why would I want to talk to you?”

“...”

“Hey.”

“...”

“Nora.”

“Oh dear Axolotl, would you please shut up? Or are you truly not capable of that?”

Bill grinned. “Gotcha.”

Nora’s pissed-off look turned confused for a moment. “What?”

“Oh come on, you think I can’t see through that cute little role you’re playing.” Bill put his hands together in mock prayer. “‘Oh great Oracle, please tell me if my crops are gonna save my ass at the market next season’, please.”

“Projecting much?” Nora’s tone was sharp like she was holding something back.

“Hey, at least I did it with a lot more style! And personality!”

“Debatable.”

“You think you’re better than me because you stabbed me in the back?” Bill snapped. “You think I don’t know exactly what you did to get there? How many Sixers did you convince to play the hero? How many made it back? At least I offered Stanford power. Immortality. On a silver platter!”

“You killed them.”

“Oh yeah.” Bill scratched his nose. “You shoulda known better, huh? Oh wait, you did!” He tapped a finger on the side of his eye. Nora’s own gaze was like daggers, which would have screamed danger had he not known she was as powerless as he was, for the time being. He caught something else in her eyes, a glimpse of something brittle. The feeling he didn’t want to think about was flooded by the anger, the betrayal, and suddenly Bill wanted nothing more than to break it. “And now you’re playing besties with Sixer, been there done that! He’s falling for it cause you give him one word of encouragement and he folds. But I know you.”

He held that brittle thing in his hand, he could feel it. One thumb pressed too hard, and it would shatter.

Why would you do this?

You were friends.

“You might've pulled a few tricks from your dead sister, but you can't fool me."

Nora said nothing. She stared at him for a long time. And that brittle thing-

Retreated as she bent over laughing.

“WHAT?!” Bill threw his hands up in frustration. “What’s so funny?!”

She just kept laughing like she’d heard the funniest joke in a trillion years. Bill suddenly remembered how much he hated being the butt of one, especially to her.

Before he could try pushing her into the pit and maybe testing if those spikes were real, she wiped her eyes and grinned at him.

“You know,” she said. “I wish you were at least half the person I believed you to be."

Bill stared at her.

The cherub above the door, across from the pit, let out a loud, cheerful DING like a contestant on a game show got the right answer.

The floor tiles on the other side of the pit shifted, rearranging themselves until they created a thin bridge halfway down the pit, too far to jump, but close enough to be a temptation.

“Oh,” said Nora. “I get it now.”

And then the room shattered into a million particles as reality itself changed for the whims of the one who willed it.

“Bravo,” said the Love Goddess. “Now we can really begin.”

---

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#gravity falls #bill cipher #flat dreams #pengychan #human bill au #fanfiction #the book of bill #vee's writing #a different form a different time #waking days reboot #doodledrawsthings

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