#all they wanted to do was throw strengthening exercises at me

[muiromem]

Fun Life Update: apparently there is something wrong with my goddamn shoulder.

After over four years of trying to figure out what's wrong and having to fight doctors and physical therapists and insurance every step of the way, I finally got an MRI on my shoulder. Which is what I wanted fucking three years ago.

Anyways apparently I have a "small anterior labrum tear". I don't actually know what to do about it (haven't seen my PCP about it yet, just read the scan results), but at least I can feel validated that I didn't just make up four and a half years of constant fucking pain.

Let's hope there's actually some way to fix it, now that there's proof of something wrong.

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Healthy Habits To Look & Feel Your Best Without Restriction or Unrealistic Routines

Realistic ways to maintain a healthy life/body/appearance (size and weight are all personal, not the most important metric – for certain). No diet culture or delulu-land tips here.

What I've done to maintain my 30-pound weight loss for over a decade, glowing clear skin (no pimples or discoloration, etc.), and super healthy, full & shiny hair, still living life and enjoying it – the mindful way.

Eat home-cooked meals & (plant-based) whole foods – 90-95% of the time

Incorporate at least 1 salad into my daily routine (either a large, hearty lunch salad or a simple green salad as a starter with dinner)

Include at least 1 fruit/vegetable in every meal or snack

Never restrict food groups – whole grains/potatoes, healthy fats, protein-rich plant foods, and produce are all essential to consume every day

Focus on meals, but have whole food snack options on hand to enjoy if genuinely hungry (mainly fruit, lupini beans, edamame, carrots/celery/cucumber with hummus, plain popcorn, handful of almonds/cashews)

Have breakfast after one coffee (before a second) and have dinner late enough (8-9:30 pm) to curb late-night hunger

Only have fruit and tea after dinner; Always stop consuming food at least 3 hours before bed for better sleep/digestion

Order whatever I want when going out to eat, but split dessert

Have at least one indulgent meal/dessert per week

No sugary cocktails – wine, champagne/prosecco, martinis, gin & tonic, margarita, French Connection, Sambuca, Grappa, tequila on the rocks, etc. are great options. Bellinis/fruit plus wine/spirits cocktails are a good middle ground. Sugary drinks worsen the hangover – big-time

Perceive healthy eating as a form of enjoyment, creativity, and nourishment, not restriction or deprivation (it's not if done liberally enough)

Consume a vitamin B12 and vitamin D supplement daily. Keep digestive enzymes on hand for when they're necessary

Always have a large glass of water first thing in the morning (before coffee) and by my side all day long

No soda, juices, sugary drinks, etc. Black coffee, tea, and water only on the daily – wine and no-sugar alcoholic drinks on rare occasions. Smoothies can be a great snack or breakfast, though!

Incorporate an (almost) daily walk into my schedule as a form of exercise and a mental health reset (I aim for 4-5 miles/10Kish steps per day on average)

Do short, low-impact strengthen training exercises 3x a week (15-30 mins each usually) for bone health & toning

Never forcing myself to do strenuous exercise/workout formally in a gym – it's not for me; it doesn't make me feel/look better and throws my hunger & energy levels way off. To each their own, though

Have a variety of playlists ready to go for waking up, working, dancing, walking/workouts, doing chores, and reading/relaxing

Internalizing that sexual health is a core aspect of your health & well-being – on all counts

Maintaining a simple skincare routine 2x per week with high-quality products and a couple of weekly treatments

Prioritizing my body care routine with as much as my facial skincare routine

Wearing at least SPF 30 daily

Exfoliating 2-3x per week

Learning what hair products work for my hair type; Using a deep conditioning mask and a scalp mask weekly

Using only cold water when washing my hair

Incorporating face & body massages into my weekly at-home routine

Using Uriage lip balm, hand cream, and deodorant religiously

Flossing 1-2 times a day/using an electric toothbrush

[goddessinnerglow]

Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 10

Mastering Your Emotions

How did yesterday’s relationship audit go? I know it can feel heavy to reflect on how the people in your life impact you, but it’s such an important step in becoming your best self. Today, we’re shifting focus from the external to the internal, mastering your emotional responses. Because let’s face it, life loves to throw curveballs, and we need to be ready to handle them without losing our balance.

You know those days when everything feels like too much? Maybe you had an argument with someone you love, or work piled up, or you’re just feeling off. Instead of spiraling (been there, done that), what if you had tools to steady yourself? That’s what emotional regulation is all about, it’s like having an umbrella when it starts pouring.

One thing that really helps me is simply naming what I’m feeling. When emotions are running high, it’s easy to let them take over, but pausing and saying, “Okay, I’m feeling anxious,” or “I’m frustrated,” instantly takes away some of their power. When you can put a name to it, the emotion feels more manageable. It’s like making the scary, unknown thing a little more familiar.

And if that’s not enough to shift your focus, grounding yourself can make a huge difference. You don’t need to meditate for 30 minutes to feel calm. You can try something like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Look around and notice five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It helps pull you out of your head and back into the present, where things are less overwhelming.

Sometimes, resilience is about taking small, actionable steps when you’re feeling overwhelmed. I know it’s easy to look at a to-do list and feel paralyzed by the sheer amount of things to tackle. But instead of trying to do it all at once, pick just one thing. Maybe it’s answering a single email, making a phone call, or tidying up your workspace for five minutes. It sounds small, but breaking things down like this lets you move forward without getting caught up in the big picture.

And boundaries, let’s talk about those. It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to please everyone else, but emotional resilience often means knowing when to protect your time and energy. It might look like turning off your phone for a bit, setting clear limits on work hours, or simply saying no when you need to. Don’t be afraid to put yourself first.

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to do this all alone. Resilience isn’t about being invincible; it’s about knowing when to lean on others. It’s okay to share how you’re feeling with someone you trust. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or even a therapist, reaching out can make all the difference. Sometimes, just hearing someone say, “I get it,” can take a huge weight off your shoulders.

So today, I want you to think about one small thing you can do to strengthen your emotional resilience. Maybe it’s naming how you feel, trying a quick grounding exercise, or simply taking a break when you need it. Whatever it is, take that step. And remember, I’m right here with you, cheering you on.

See you tomorrow for Day 11, where we'll explore another step in becoming our best selves.

♡ ☆:.｡ Keep glowing, babes! ♡ ☆:.｡ With love, Goddess Inner Glow.

[tortillamastersblog]

꧁ Angels Don’t Cry - Part 2 | Mor ꧂

Pairing: Mor x reader

Warnings: Mentions of torture, injuries, blood, kidnapping, vomiting and explicit language

Summary: After Hybern’s defeat, the Inner Circle makes a grave discovery in the late King’s dungeons. . .

Next Part | Masterlist

________________________________________________

“Come on, one more!” Cassian shouts and if I weren’t as out of breath as I am I would have hurled some insults at him.

Feyre doesn’t look any better off than me, also red-faced and sweaty, but we share a determined look before setting off in another sprint across the roof.

When we come to a stop in front of Cassian at the edge of the roof, I double over and cough, my breath visible as a cloud in front of me because of the cold.

Feyre tilts her head back and looks up at the sky with her hands propped on her hips.

“Great job, guys,” Azriel compliments and Cassian nods, handing out two bottles of water.

It’s been almost a week since my nightmare, and no-one has brought it up. They also don’t treat me differently than before which I appreciate immensely.

Feyre is around a little more and has given me two painting lessons since, but the pity that shone in her eyes the night she saw my memories is no longer there. Instead, she looks at me with admiration and kindness.

Someone clearing a throat behind us makes us all turn around.

“Hey, Mor.” Feyre greets her friend with a strained smile.

“Hi.” Mor replies quietly, avoiding my eyes as she snuggles into her red scarf.

It’s unusual seeing the two friends act like that around each other, so I figure something must have happened between them and I’m sure that that something involves me because since that dinner a week ago I haven’t seen Mor at the House of Wind.

Feyre also hasn’t talked about her around me and now that I think about it, neither have the others.

“What’s up?” Cassian asks her, oblivious to the tension in the air.

Mor glances at me before quickly looking at Cassian to answer his question. “Not much I— I actually came to talk to, Y/N, but it seems like you guys are not done training yet.”

“Oh no, we’re definitely done,” Feyre denies with a shake of her head. “I literally can’t feel my legs anymore.”

Azriel chuckles softly and I nod in agreement, but then Cassian takes my bottle of water with an evil smile.

“Actually you’re not,” he says, holding the bottle out of my reach when I go to get it back. “Well, you are, Feyre, but not you, Y/N.”

I stare at him in disbelief. “What? Why?!”

It seems as though I’m not the only one who’s surprised because Azriel also stares at Cassian with raised eyebrows.

“What are you up to?” he asks him, but Cassian just brushes him off and keeps his eyes on me.

“Cassian?” I say warily, not liking the glint in his eyes.

The general places his hands on my shoulders. “It’s time you try to fly, Y/N.”

I shake my head and back away a step so he’s no longer touching me. “No, I can’t. I told you I’m not ready.”

“But you are!” he argues. “Azriel told me you’ve been doing the exercises he showed you to strengthen your wings. You’re ready, it’s just your head telling you that you’re not.”

I shake my head again and tuck my wings in protectively. “No, I’m not, so please drop it.”

Cassian throws up his arms in frustration. “Oh, come on. If you don’t take the leap you’ll never fly again.”

I honestly don’t know if I even want to fly again after being depraved of it for so long, but I haven’t had the heart to tell him or Azriel that yet.

“Drop it, Cass,” Feyre warns from beside me.

Cassian does however not drop it and goes on, “There’s no harm in trying. You were literally born to fly, so if you were to jump off this roof right now your instincts would kick in and you’d be soaring before you even know what’s happening.”

“No. Please, just stop,” I say quietly. I don’t like being backed into a corner like this. It’s making my ears ring and my heart pound.

“Yeah, Cass, stop it.” Azriel cuts in and this time Cassian seems to actually listen because his shoulders curl forward in surrender and he drops his eyes to the ground.

Swallowing the growing lump in my throat, I look at both Feyre and Azriel to smile at them thankfully. They nod in understanding and then my eyes land on Mor who’s already watching me.

Her brown eyes are soft, a sight I thought I’d never see, and when she goes to say something, my heart skips a beat in anticipation.

I never get to hear what she was about to say though because out of nowhere, Cassian’s hands are back on my shoulders.

“I’m sorry, but if I don’t do this you’ll never fly again,” he says, his grip tightening.

“W-What?” I stutter, but then, before I know what’s happening, he smiles apologetically and shoves me off the roof.

I yelp, hearing Azriel, Feyre and Mor shouting in surprise, but then the only thing I hear is the wind rushing past me as I fall through the air.

No, no, no. . . This can’t be happening!

I flail around, my wings bending and aching as I tumble and turn uncontrollably.

I can’t fly, I can’t do this!

I wrap my hands around my middle protectively, and squeeze my eyes shut. Any second now I’m going to wake up and realize all of this is a nightmare.

The seconds tick by though and I don’t wake up.

I’m going to die! This is how I’m going to die! After all the shit I’ve been through, this is how I’m going to die.

I curl up even more and try to ignore the deafening sound of the air rushing by.

Any time now. . .

My body tenses, preparing for the imminent impact with the ground, but it never actually comes.

Instead, I’m suddenly engulfed in a warm embrace. Then, the familiar feeling of winnowing makes my stomach churn, and not even a second later I’m standing on the street at the bottom of the mountain.

My eyes fly open and I only get a second to gape at a disheveled looking Mor before my stomach churns again and I stumble toward the nearest bush, doubling over and vomiting behind it.

I sink to my knees and wipe at my mouth with the back of my trembling hand as hot tears stream down the side of my face.

“Y/N?” Mor’s shaky voice startles me and when she places a hand on my shoulder I recoil with a sob.

“Don’t touch me.” I cry and stumble back to my feet.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Mor is quick to apologize and the hurt and confused look on her face almost makes me apologize myself.

Right in that moment, Feyre winnows down from the roof though. She goes to hug me, her eyes scanning over me frantically, but I move out of her reach, not wanting to be touched at the moment.

“Don’t, please,” I hiccup, wanting nothing more than to just run away from all of this.

“Okay. . . Okay.” Feyre raises her hands in a non threatening way.

I can’t believe Cassian did that. I trusted him.

The betrayal shakes me more than the fact that I almost turned into a pancake on the sidewalk, and I can’t stop myself from vomiting behind the bush again.

“Can you take me back to my room?” I ask sheepishly when I turn back around, only to find that Cassian and Azriel have come down from the roof as well.

They look as concerned as Mor and Feyre and when my eyes land on Cassian’s I can see regret all over his face.

“Y/N, I’m so—“

“No.” I lift a hand and avert my eyes to the ground. “Just save it.”

Silence.

Then, Feyre’s hand enters my vision and when I look up she jerks her head back toward the mountain.

Right. My room. . .

I nod and take her hand without another look at the others as she winnows us up to the house.

Curled up in bed on my side I stare at the night sky outside of the window.

Feyre and I barely talked when she brought me back to my room earlier. She just hugged me tightly and told me to get her in case I needed anything.

She would be staying next door with Rhysand for the night, and even though I said they didn’t need to do that, she insisted before hugging me again.

After that, I took a quick bath before slipping under the covers which is where I’ve been ever since.

I still can’t believe Cassian actually threw me off the roof. If I was averse to flying earlier, I’m completely and utterly terrified of it now.

I wasn’t ready! I told him I wasn’t ready, but he didn’t listen. . .

And then, out of all the people, Mor is the one who winnowed to save me. I thought she hated me. . . But why did she come up to the roof in the first place? She said she wanted to talk, but what about?

She can’t have been aiming to start another argument, that’s for sure because she looked almost pleadingly when she said she wanted to talk, so what was it about?

Sighing because I know I won’t fall asleep any time soon, I fling the comforter off me and get out of bed.

I slip out of the room and tip toe all the way to the moonlit living room. Embers of a fire that died a while ago still glow in the fireplace and a handful of faerie lights float around the space.

I crouch down next to the fireplace and put another log on then embers, watching it smoke for a second before it catches fire.

I shift it a little to make room for another one to make sure it burns for a while before getting back to my feet.

I hate the cold. It reminds me of cowering in the corner of my cell, shivering and freezing as water drips down the walls.

I wipe my hands on my sweatpants and turn to take a seat on the couch only to freeze when I realize it’s already occupied.

Sleeping soundly with her arms wrapped around herself is Mor. Her blonde hair is a mess and her shirt is bunched up awkwardly around her waist, revealing goosebumps on her skin.

Why she’s here and if she’s been here for long, I don’t know. I don’t like seeing her uncomfortable and cold though, no matter what she’s said and done to me, so I grab a throw blanket and drape it over her.

“Hmm. . . Whas’ happ’ning. . .” She stirs and blinks her eyes open.

I cringe because waking her wasn’t my intention. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone would be here, but then I saw you and you looked cold, so I covered you with a blanket.”

Bleary brown eyes watch me with an expression I can’t quite place before she tugs the blanket up to her chin. “You can’t sleep?” she asks.

I shake my head. “No, but I’ll leave you to it. I’m sorry I woke you.”

I turn to leave, but Mor gently grabs my wrist and tugs me back. “Wait, it’s okay. You can stay.”

Something tugs on my insides at the touch of her hand and I don’t recoil the way I did after Cassian tossed me off the roof. “I really don’t want to impose.”

“You’re not.” She lets go of me and sits up, tucking her legs underneath her. “I actually do still want to talk to you, so. . .” She trails off and runs her hand through her messy hair.

I hesitate for a moment before sitting down next to her. She sounds sincere, and I guess I should hear her out. “Alright. Talk.”

Slightly taken aback by my straightforwardness, she clears her throat and averts her eyes. “O-Okay. . . Well, I came to find you earlier because I wanted to apologize. For everything. . . For cornering you in the hallway and for accusing you of being a spy.” She looks up again and buries her hands in her lap. “I’ve treated you like shit ever since you got here and it’s messed up and I know that now. . . Feyre talked some sense into me, actually, and Cassian told me about your nightmares.”

Nightmares. Plural. . . So Cassian knows I’ve been having them regularly and not just that one time when I woke up screaming.

I honestly don’t know how to feel about that, but that’s something to think about another time. Right now Mor is all that matters.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Truly,” she says, her brown eyes filled with sincerity. The light of the fire dances on her bare face and makes her glow ethereally.

However, a simple apology just won’t do, no matter how my heart skips a beat when she looks at me like that. “Why did you do it?” I ask quietly. “Treat me like that, I mean.“

She shrugs helplessly. “I-I don’t know.”

I don’t know. . .

All my previous sympathy vanishes. She was cruel and preyed on all my fears and insecurities, and all of it because she just felt like it?

“What do you mean, you don’t know? There’s must have been a reason,” I say. Just a moment ago I thought she might actually mean her apology. I thought she was actually coming around to me.

Getting defensive at my hostility, she straightens up and frowns at me. “No! I-I don’t know. . . Why does it even matter? I just apologized, didn’t I?“

I scoff and get back to my feet, “Wow, okay then. Good night, Mor.”

Disappointment and confusion flickers over her face before it’s replaced by anger. “No, hey! Don’t walk away. We’re not done talking yet.”

Raising an eyebrow, I cross my arms over my chest. “We’re not?”

She shakes her head and gets to her feet as well. The blanket I draped over her falls to the ground and she steps over it to level me with a challenging stare. “No, we’re not.“

“Mor. . .” I warn, but she goes on unflinchingly.

“You’re such a hypocrite. You want me to be honest with you, yes? Well, you won’t even tell me why you were sneaking around the other day, looking all guilty when you bumped into me.”

I open my mouth to reply, to just come clean about what I was doing, but she once again beats me to it.

“Not to mention this weird thing between you and Elain? Are you secretly fucking her or something? Hmm? Is that it? Or why is she so enamored with you. I bet Feyre would hate to know that you’re defiling her sister,” she spits and the audacity of her accusation makes me take a step back.

My wings flutter in irritation and I tighten my crossed arms around my body. “What the fuck, Mor? I’m not sleeping with Elain, or anybody for that matter! She’s just a friend and Feyre knows that! Why would you even bring her into this?!“

“Maybe not then,” she shoots back with a snarl. “But look at you, avoiding the real question once again. . . Why were you sneaking around? What are you hiding? Were you looking for something? I bet you really are a filthy spy and everyone else is just too blinded by your tragic backstory to see it.”

Broken. My heart is absolutely broken by that accusation once again.

She knows about the nightmares, Feyre talked to her, and I’ve been nothing but polite and kind to her, so why is she still acting like this?

For a split second I think I’ve finally had enough. I think I might break down and shatter indefinitely, but then all my emotions are reigned in and locked away by a familiar feeling. Numbness.

“I’m not hiding anything except the crippling anxiety that I’ll never know who I truly am again,” I state, eerily calm. My face is void of any emotion and I drop my hands to my side. “I’m not a spy and I never have been. When I bumped into you I was headed back to my room after discovering the grand piano in the room down the hall. I’ve loved music ever since I was a youngling and it’s kept me sane during my time in Hybern. I didn’t tell you where I came from because I’d discovered something suddenly very dear to me and I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone yet.”

When I meet Mor’s eyes with my own, I see regret in them. It’s also written all over her face, but the damage has been done and I can’t find it in myself to forgive her again. What she said to me at that dinner a while back was already like a blow to the face, and yet, I was still willing to forgive her.

Now though, she’s definitely crossed a line and I don’t want to see her again. I know it will be difficult because I literally live here and she’s part of the inner circle, but I’m going to speak to Feyre and Rhysand about getting my own place and getting a job in the city. That way I’m also away from Cassian who, not unlike Mor, also crossed a line today.

“Y/N-“

“No.” I cut her off quietly and turn to leave, “You’ve said your part and I’ve said mine. Goodbye, Mor.”

The day after my fight with Mor, I talked to Feyre and Rhysand about getting my own place and they agreed immediately.

Later, Feyre asked me about what prompted my sudden urge to move out which led to me telling her about the fight.

She was in disbelief when I told her all the things Mor accused me of and offered to talk to her again, but I declined politely and told her that Mor and I would just stay away from each other.

Which is how I ended up here, two weeks later in my own little apartment in the city with a view over the Sidra and a piano against the wall. Feyre and Rhysand payed for it, wanting nothing in return, but I promised I would pay them back as soon as I could.

I got a job at small bakery down the street, which will definitely not make me rich, but I’m happy with it and I’m content to just live a quiet, self sustained life.

I stopped training since I can’t stand being near Cassian, but I do sometimes go for a run with Azriel, or workout at home.

A knock on the door makes my head perk up and I finish tying my shoe before going to open it.

“Hey!” I smile at the sight of Feyre and Elain and hug them both before shutting the door behind me. “You guys ready?”

They nod and together we set off down the stairs and out onto the snow covered streets.

Winter solstice is in a week and between my new job and settling into the apartment, I haven’t had the chance to buy gifts yet. It’s not a big deal though because Feyre and Elain also don’t have any yet, which is why we agreed to go out today to buy some together.

The sky is gray and the air is cold and crisp, my breath visible in small clouds.

Despite the cold thought, the streets are full of people who are also getting some shopping done. Fairy lights are strung up everywhere and the smell of baked goods and hot chocolate makes my mouth water.

We pass by a few stands selling spices and dried fruit before we get to the jewelry stands.

“What do you think of this one for Rhys?” Feyre asks, holding up a black ring with a silver inlet. Engraved on the inside are some ancient symbols and when she hands it to me I can feel the magic radiating from it. It’s unnaturally warm, but it’s not unpleasant especially against the palm of my cold hand.

“What does it do?” I ask, handing it to Elain who eyes it curiously.

“It says here it’s a mating-bond ring,” Feyre explains, reading the sign next to the other rings on display. “It heats up when your mate is thinking about you.”

My eyes widen and I look at the other rings on display. Some are simple like the one Feyre picked out while others are more intricate with diamonds or other gems embedded in them.

“And?” Elain teases when she hands the ring back to her sister. “Is it warm when you touch it?”

Feyre chuckles and shakes her head. “No, not right now. Rhys is in a meeting with Keir, so I’m not surprised his thoughts are currently otherwise occupied.“

I shudder and tuck my wings in tighter. When I touched the ring it felt warm and that can only mean one thing. I have a mate and they’re currently thinking about me. They know me which means I must know them, too, but as far as I was aware until just now I don’t have a mate, and I don’t know anyone who could be my mate.

I dare to glance at Elain, but she’s so enamored by the other rings, that I’m certain she’s not thinking about me which means she’s definitely not my mate.

I gulp and shove my hands into the pockets of my coat. I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. What if my mate is someone from Hybern?

It’s not anyone from the inner circle, that’s for sure, but I also doubt that it’s one of my colleagues from the bakery. They’re all mated and happily married.

“I think I’m going to get it, it’s sweet,” Feyre decides and the sound of her voice brings me back to reality.

“Yeah, definitely,” I commented absentmindedly, wanting nothing more than to get away from this particular stand.

Elain agrees as well and after Feyre has payed we move on to the next stand.

In the end, Feyre finds gifts for almost everyone except me (she wasn’t going to go shopping for my gift with me around) and Elain finds a gift for Nesta, Cerridwen, Nuala and Rhysand, leaving me with not a single gift of my own.

I saw a dagger I thought Azriel might like, but Feyre pointed out that he has a drawer full of gifted daggers that he never really uses, so I didn’t buy it.

I also saw a couple of nice paints for Feyre that change color every now and then to bring a painting to life, but like her, I’m not going to buy a gift when said person I’m buying it for is right next to me.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find something soon,” Elain tries to cheer me up as we get back to my apartment building.

I smile halfheartedly and hug her. “Thanks. I’m sure I will, too. Have a good night.”

Elain smiles and I kiss her cheek for good measure before hugging Feyre. “See you tomorrow,”

“See ya,” she says and once the two sisters have vanished in the sea of people I make my way inside and up to my apartment.

I can’t believe I have a mate. It’s something I haven’t stopped thinking about since I touched the ring.

Are they still thinking about me? Why were they even thinking about me in the first place? What were they thinking?

With all those questions running through my head I make my way to the bathroom to take a bath. My wings are basically frozen to my back and I can’t really feel my toes, so I quickly strip out of my clothes and sink into the hot water.

I have a mate. . . An actual, living, breathing, and thinking mate.

As if on cue, something tugs on my insides, but I ignore it and try to relax for the remainder of my bath.

I already ate at the market with Feyre and Elain after we finished shopping, which is why I go straight to bed after getting out of the bath and drying off.

________________________________________________

[magical-glimpse]

Hey! Just wanted to ask, what would you do spiritually to protect your peace? I’m dealing with some… hexes/evil eyes/attacks from a shit ton of family members, like my mom, as well as people close to my family and it’s gotten to the point in which I’m barely getting through the day (not trying to trauma dump, and I’m very much aware that you are not a therapist lol).

So buckle up bc this is going to be long lol

I reblogged a post recently about the four different types of protection, you can look it up for further info.

THIS IS PROTECTION 102

THE DAILIES

I mentioned them previously to another anon, but i recommend doing some small rituals daily. This helps for 1. stopping the negative energy from building up and 2. Builds your magical stamina for bigger spells.

What you can do :

-visualizing : visualize yourself surrounding by a white or pink light, and visualize it removing all of the negative energy from you, and protecting you from outside negative energy. You can do it once or multiple times a day, when you are in public, before going to sleep, when you wake up etc.

-daily hygiene: while you are taking a bath or a shower, visualize the water cleansing you and watch as the negative energy goes down the drain. This works especially well if you are washing your hair.

Food and drinks: throw salt over your left shoulder while you cook, stir your tea/ coffee clockwise to add protection into the drink, or anticlockwise to remove negative energy. Drink water with the intention of it cleansing the negative energy.

Clothes : the color black, as well as iron, are both associated with protection. You can wear one or both with intention as an extra layer of protection.

You can add affirmations to any of these in order to strengthen them.

NOW ONTO LEVEL 2

We are now going into more long term rituals and spells.

In order to do these, you will need to learn two skills first: how to direct your focus and energy and how to ground.

Direct your focus and energy: The previous exercises can serve as a training. You can also try to do yoga and focus on your body sensations, do meditation, sit under the sun,watch a candle flame, feel water on your hands etc. The goal is to try to avoid your mind from wandering in the middle of your spell, rendering them less effective.

How to ground: the goal is to get you to be connected to your body and to earth. The exercises from the “direct your focus and energy” category can work as well. You can also sit and visualize your core energy center (it can feel different for everyone) being connected to the Earth. A good thing about grounding is that it allows you to borrow from Earth infinite energy, so you don’t have to use your own for your spells.

In order to know what works best for you, you have to tap into your sensitivity. If you are very affected by the moon, then do a ritual linked to the moon. If you are more seasonal like me, do something yearly or linked to the seasons.If you have deities, do something linked to them or ask them to help you protect you.

I personally have a very layered protection, with a mix of deity help, runes, sigils ( i love sigils), enchanted objects and a few spell bottles or jars.

Let’s go with the different types of protection:

Defensive : These act as a shield or a fence. When you build one, make sure you do it in a way that it keeps you away from energies you don’t want, but let in other things. For example, if you use a good luck spell later, it would be sad if it was stopped by your own defensive spell. You can use affirmations such as “I am protected from energies which are not in my highest good”.

Illusory: you can lead the negative energy towards something that is not actually you. For example, you can make a spell jar containing a hair, and fill it with vinegar and nails, with the intention that negative energy that seeks you ends up stuck in the jar. You can then hide this jar in your bathroom, or in a plant etc.You can also learn to shield your energy in a way that you become invisible to people who seek you (I am such champion at that that i once wasted a paid reading bc the reader did not have the best intentions apparently and could not find me lol).The same way as before, add an an affirmation which make sure it wouldnt block you from receiving good things.

Aggressive: I put it last because usually people don't recommend beginners to start off with these. Basically, aggressive spells can require more energy, and it is with experience that you learn when they are necessary, or when they are going bad and you need to do something. The usual protective aggressive spells are “return to sender” types. But you can also find spells that are meant to scare the attacker into retreating.

CORRESPONDENCES:

Salt is commonly used as protection and purification, so is rosemary.

You can mix salt with ashes and it becomes black salt, which will absorb and transform negative energy.

Black crystals, such as black quartz, obsidian, tourmaline, have protection properties.

The color black and the element of iron have protective properties.

Runes:

The rune Algiz is considered a defensive rune.

Sigils : sigils are symbols that belong in chaos magic. They take effect when they become invisible or are destroyed. I personally prefer to create my own and i'm not willing to share them, but many people created some and shared some around witchblr. You can put a sigil on a paper and burn it, write it on toilet paper then put the paper down the toilet, write it with holy water around your windows and doors, hide it in or under your shoes etc

Ward :a ward is a visible symbol of protection. It can for example be a witch ladder, a dream catcher, a horseshoe, or any symbol you put over your door or around your entrance. My mom has a protective psalm in malagasy above a door which all guests face when they enter, for example.

Spells jars, bottles, powders, candles etc : I can't remember which ones I did off the top of my head, but many. A lot exists online as well. As I said previously, do what draws you in the most.

Electronic spells: Tech witches are a thing. The tech witch tag will probably be more helpful than my small category here, but there are many spells you can do without actually having to gather ingredients, especially if any form of witchcraft will be frowned upon in your household. You can do your spell on Minecraft, use a candle app, use a website etc. This is a great way to stay discrete as well.

WARNING: Every spell has a cost. I don't say this to scare you, but every spell you do has consequences. The first and most common one being energy. You can feel tired, drained, sleepy, have a headache, or have sore muscles after a spell. You should not do a spell if you are not in the right space to do so. It is normal if it is tiring. In order to help, you can borrow energy from other places. For example, ground and borrow energy from the Earth. Ask to borrow energy from the elements or your deities. Borrow it from running water or from sunlight or a candle or your phone (charge your phone if you are doing a spell using your phone). Especially dont forget to “close” the spell after you are done building it. Don't let it run on its own forever, you will be drained. I say this with experience lol, i am the type to forget i got a spell started and let my phone candle run and wonder why i got a headache. After you have done a spell, focus on self care. Hydrate, have a snack, go to sleep, rest. Enjoy feeling safe and protected lol.

Some people are massive energy powerhouses and can handle doing spells from their own energy. I am very not like this, i have little stamina so i instead guide existing energies towards where i want them to go.

I hope it was helpful !

[jjmaybanksdomgf]

_________________________________________

STRONGER TOGETHER

_________________________________________

The 2024 Paris Olympics were in full swing, and the energy in the Bercy Arena was electric. Athletes from all over the world had gathered to compete at the highest level, each with dreams of standing on the podium. Among them were Jake Jarman and Michaela McCarthy, two of Great Britain's finest gymnasts. Both had trained for years, pushing their bodies and minds to the limit for this moment. This year, they were competing together, their shared goals and support driving them forward.

Jake and Michaela had first met at a national training camp years ago and had quickly become close friends, their bond strengthened by their shared passion for gymnastics. Jake was a somewhat awkward, quiet and introverted child, Michaela was the exact same. Their friendship had blossomed into something deeper, a loving relationship built on mutual respect and unwavering support. Michaela loved Jake with all of her heart and Jake loved Michaela just as much, they were always there for one another. Despite the two being in a relationship, the only people who knew of it were themselves, friends and relatives. They were unsure of how the media would react to the two Olympians being together.

Today was the men's all-around competition, and Jake was preparing for his first event: the floor exercise. Michaela was in the stands, staring down at him, her heart pounding with anticipation. She knew exactly what Jake was feeling – the mix of nerves and excitement, the weight of expectations. She had her own competition the next day, but today, she was here to cheer for him. She knew how badly he wanted to win a medal, so she just hoped he would do as great as he normally does.

Jake stepped onto the mat, the applause from the crowd a distant hum in his ears. He looked around the crowd, smiling at fans who applauded for him before his eyes locked with the brunette's eyes, she mouthed 'good luck' to him and he gave her a small smile before turning away. He closed his eyes for a moment, centering himself, and then began his routine. Each tumbling pass was executed with precision, his movements a blend of power and grace. Michaela watched as he jumped and flipped through the air, her hands harshly clenched in her lap, hoping for him to succeed. She could feel the tension in her muscles mirroring his as he flipped and spun through the air.

When Jake finished his routine with a flawless landing, the crowd erupted in cheers. Michaela leaped to her feet, clapping her hands together and shouting out his name. He looked up at her, that same adorable triumphant smile on his face, and gave a small wave. She grinned at him and waved back, feeling a surge of pride, knowing how hard he had worked to get here. The sight of his confident smile and the sound of his name on the crowd’s lips filled her with both pride and a sense of calm.

As Jake moved through his events – pommel horse, rings, vault, parallel bars, and high bar – Michaela was there every step of the way, her presence a steady source of encouragement. She cheered loudly, her voice rising above the din of the arena, each time he nailed a landing or executed a difficult move with perfection. His performances were strong, and by the end of the competition, he was in contention for a medal.

The final scores were announced, and Jake had won silver. The joy on his face was indescribable, and Michaela's heart swelled with happiness for him. She pushed her way through the crowd to congratulate him. "You did it, Jake!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "You were absolutely amazing out there. Every single move was perfect! God, I'm so happy for you, Jake!" She screamed, hugging him with a huge smile on her face.

He hugged her tightly, lifting her off the ground. "I couldn't have done it without you, Michaela. Thank you for coming and supporting me, I love you."

She kissed his cheek, her eyes shining with pride. "I love you too, you were incredible out there. I'm so proud of you, of course I came. All those hours in the gym, all the sacrifices – it was all worth it."

The next day, it was Michaela's turn. The women's all-around competition was just as intense, and she felt the familiar mix of nerves and excitement as she prepared for her first event: the uneven bars. Jake was in the stands, cheering her on, his presence a comforting anchor in the sea of noise and movement. She took a deep breath, reminding herself of the countless hours of practice, the meticulous preparation that had brought her here.

Michaela mounted the bars with a graceful swing, her body moving with fluid precision. Each release and catch was flawless, her routine a testament to her years of hard work and dedication. As she dismounted, landing perfectly, the crowd erupted in applause. Jake jumped up out of his seat and screamed excitedly for her, he was the loudest, his voice cutting through the din.

As the competition progressed, Michaela moved through her events – balance beam, floor exercise, and vault. Each performance was strong, but she knew the competition was fierce. The balance beam, her strongest event, became her stumbling block. In the middle of a complex series of flips and twists, she wobbled, her foot slipping just enough to throw off her balance. She managed to stay on the beam, but the error cost her precious points. When the final scores were tallied, she had narrowly missed a medal, finishing in fourth place.

The disappointment was sharp, a bitter sting that threatened to overwhelm her. The sting of the error, that tiny wobble that loomed large in her mind, clouded the pride of her overall performance. As she stepped off the mat, Jake was there, pulling her into a tight embrace, and rubbing her back soothingly.

"You were incredible, Michaela," he said, his voice filled with encouragement but with a hint of guilt. "You gave it your all, and that's what matters."

She buried her face in his shoulder and poured her eyes out. "I wanted to win so badly, Jake. I trained so hard for this moment and I just fucked it up."

He pulled back, looking into her eyes with unwavering support before cupping her face. "I know you trained so hard but you were still amazing. You showed everyone what you're capable of, and that's something to be proud of. A wobble doesn’t define your talent or your hard work, it was just a small accident, baby."

She nodded, taking a deep breath and wiping her eyes. "You're right. I gave it everything I had, and that’s what really matters. But it’s hard not to think about what could have been, if it wasn't for my terrible balance and wobbly legs."

He squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Everyone has moments like that, Michaela. It's part of the sport. But you showed your grace and strength. I'm so proud of you, and so is everyone else."

They stood there for a moment, wrapped in each other's arms, finding solace in their shared experience. The pair had quickly realised that they were still in public and that the media were definitely going to know about them, but they didn't care. The Olympics had tested them both, pushing them to their limits, but it had also brought them closer together. They had each faced their own challenges and come through stronger for it.

That evening, they sat together on a bench outside the athletes' village, the Paris skyline a glittering backdrop. Jake's silver medal gleamed in the fading light, a symbol of his achievement. Michaela leaned against him, her hand resting on his.

"You know," Jake said, breaking the silence, "we may not have both won first place, but we still have each other. And that's worth more than anything."

Michaela rolled her eyes with a smile, her heart swelling with love. "I still wish I could've won at least silver but I'm happy you won it instead."

Jake turned to her, his eyes filled with affection and determination. "Exactly. And this is just one chapter in our story. There will be more competitions and more opportunities. But through it all, we'll face everything together, supporting and pushing each other like we always have."

Michaela nodded, feeling a renewed sense of hope and strength. "Yeah, together. No matter what comes our way, we’ll face it side by side. We’ve always been stronger together, I guess."

They sat there, side by side, watching as the city lights twinkled like stars. The road to the Olympics had been long and difficult, filled with challenges and triumphs. But they had faced it together, supporting each other every step of the way. And as they looked toward the future, they knew that whatever came next, they would face it together, stronger than ever.

_________________________________________

I LOVE THIS

[tea-and-spoons]

hey its me. legpain johnson /silly (the guy from this ask -> https://www.tumblr.com/tea-and-spoons/753818570925948928/hi-were-really-sorry-to-bother-you-but-were?source=share ) and ive returned to be a pain once more

so ive been to an OT recently, and have been referred to a PT. OT confirmed i am hypermobile and knows about the leg pain (plus back pain, knee issues that i just whole ass forgot to mention before, etc)

so obvs ill try discuss things with the PT when i get to them eventually but i kinda just wanted to ask for your opinion on some things if thats alright? though ofc no pressure /gen

do you think itd be a good idea to get like. crutches (since a cane probably wont help at all) or a walker, for me? (ofc if youre not sure thats chill its kind of weird for me to expect you to like. Know ig yk?).

do you think its like. reasonable for someone to go for the “easy” route (being mobility aids) instead of the more annoying, difficult route of strengthening exercises and junk (talking specifically about my shitty hypermobile knees here). ik that sounds bad with like. saying mobility aids are like “oooh an easy out” or qhatever, thats not what i mean i just dont really know how to convey the idea. (also yea this concept kinda ties in with the whole thing of autonomy, but im nothing if not a sucker for reassurance lol /lh)

sorry for the second disgustingly long ask from me, and sorry im like. throwing problems at you, theres no pressure to answer or nothing. hope your day is going well /gen. sorry + thank again

-legpain johnson /silly

Hello hello, sorry it's taken so long to get back to you! So glad to hear you're seeing OT and PT, hopefully they've been helping lots.

My recommendation would be, why not try BOTH the mobility aid and the strengthening exercises? I think it's very reasonable to try whatever may help your quality of life, both immediately and in the future. My crutches and my increased joint stability from PT exercises both give me more freedom and safety in different ways.

-Tea 💙

[zenspa-hypamama-me]

So I just came back from the Sleep Clinic and I was inspired to write you something. With ChatGPT. Apple told me it was going to change my world.

Just recently did I take on your advice of having my own show. I’ve called Zen 🧘🏽‍♀️ Spa by the Hypa-Mama. And it’s about Mindful neuro- divergent living with a spice of sensory and self-care. Is a unique and valuable concept. Says Chat GPT.

And it might not be as popular as my friends Jariya Stretchy Honey 🍯 program. Where she travels with yoga poses and shares exercises with her handsome young French boyfriend across Europe. She’s my ex-bridesmaid.

But it offers ‘something’ that the viewers can do with you. Like my mindfulness in a bathtub or Hypa living Space-Life Hacks. It’s personal and it’s true to its brand. The approach is powerful personal. Says chat GPT.

And I’m hoping that you’re the last guy I have to run to the airport to go meet while often being late and forgetting my passport. I think by far the most costly thing of having this ADHD or what they call it Ferrari brain and bicycle breaks: is losing my daughter and losing someone I love. 🥰

But I’m glad I learned that my brother raised me and his wife had separated and is now pregnant 🤰🏻- I’m actually hoping I can help him raise my kid and his kids with his ex-wives. It takes a village? No one probably wants to lose N’y of their relationships. But it’s hard when one continues to go undiagnosed. Personally I think our family all has a little bit of bipolar and schizo-typo which makes with the ADHD/CPTSD more Complexed. Because I am probably very similar.

But the ADHD in our family has been worse for boys. Just like my nephew who throws things across the road over 4 lanes of traffic with a smile - just like the Incredible Hulk and how presses 1 million buttons on the lift until his sister’s pull all their hair out. My brother probably turned out better than one cousin who shot someone when she cheated on him. Or my uncle who was a hitman. oh his son who died from what looks like schizophrenia triggered as a life long heroin addict.

But no one can beat the legend of my dad who was a bodyguard for the crown at Duntoon Millitary College (your typical ADHD run of the mill-fire fighters superhero 🦸‍♀️life) and hid it from me my whole life. And I always thought I didn’t belong, because I was told he was a no body, a cleaner who got deported apparently, when he was really somebody and worked hard to become someone. Earning us the rights to be here and making this our home. (Even an ex-husband and I had no idea 🤷‍♀️ despite the ambassador of the Frankfurt grand Consulate coming down in person to approve our Emergency 🚨 Visa for his funeral?). We were so blind, I’d like to blame the inattentiveness of ADHD but - this was probably because I would’ve talked and that was against the French 🇫🇷 Lese-majeste.

Which means you cannot ever have defamation the monarch. 🤴🏿 but that’s for a longer story. As a law as part of Secret Service and a rule to protect one’s family.

So I lost my London best-friend & I lost my daughter for a good five years but I am still “married to the Director general” (joke) who allows me to take her to the zoo, the church and the national Museum three times a week.

But, I’m glad I and thankful 🥹 got diagnosed because I know how to strengthen my “brakes” and we can wait to see what the “Ferrari brain”🧠 can actually do. (quoting Dr Nad Hollowell driven to distraction.

I hope you would forgive me that perhaps like most people that have ADHD people - think it’s a behavioural thing and not a brain thing and that we didn’t try hard enough to not lose our jobs, to not be late. Not hang onto our kids or any of our relationships. TIMET. Time blindness, impulsivity control, memory retention , emotional dysregulation and transitioning. Our top five executive .

We have a neurological impairment - which I now receiving DSP disability support pension for allowing me to spend up to 5 days with my daughter and I can work 2 to 4 days.

I still have this great dog 🐕 and my daughter (princess 🧈 buttercup) has this great family and I’m looking to prison guard or a military guy of some sort, bodyguards maybe 🤔 but not a security guard. 💂

Now that I know a little bit about my childhood.

The last rock 🪨 chef 👩🏿‍🍳 Capricorn from Germany was also a sex addict and I’ve worked with my brain and his brain to work out what’s best for me. I think mindfulness is a great tool to help any addiction including an especially sex addicts. (quoting Dr Douglas Weiss from heart to heart - 💓 that helps recovery of sex addicts and relationships everywhere)

I’m doing a course in women worthiness, mindfulness and leisure/lifestyle. Hoping to work with minorities and underprivileged people in recreational therapy, rehab and community centres locally as I continue to do my blog where I hope to take people to spa treatments in Thailand maybe twice a year?

I’ve been working on my finances with a all about money Church program and I’ve got myself a Financial Counsellor. With my local community lawyer we are getting my  superannuation out for deposit on that great secondhand car.

I’ve currently put a deposit on a Jimny which is a Jeep mini version of a Suzuki.

A handful of people like to view that. Zen spa by the Hypa-Mama and her adventures with the Jimny. To be honest other than the Baby (princess buttercup) the viewers like the car and the dog more than me! (based on viewers number) I just deliver the show.

I just want to say I love you lots and I hope your family, love life, career and everything else is going prosperous.

And I’m sorry I didn’t learn about my brain a little bit earlier to have been able to make our relationships a little bit better. But I just don’t think I probably would’ve made you very happy anyway. No one wants someone to carry them their whole lives. But I know thank you for the good times and caring me all this while!

Love LAK & Co.

[uhmahne]

October 2023

What a fucking month. What a fucking month that makes everything I ever wrote for these monthly posts seem extra inconsequential. It was a hard month to be… okay, I’m a bit paranoid, but I truly have a right to be. October 2023 has been fucking rough for P’s, and as a P-American I feel… well, it doesn’t matter how I feel. I’m one of the supremely lucky ones. I’ve been emotionally numb; that’s been my reaction to everything.

It also feels like I and every other P activist have been ignored and gaslight since ‘it’ all started and now, now everyone is catching up and paying attention and fighting for injustice to end. The bitter part of me is resentful, in an ‘I-fucking-told-you-so, we-fucking-been-telling-you’ way. Then again, that’s exactly what they wanted and one of their biggest weapons has been mass ignorance, inattentiveness, mislabeling of the anti-s word on their end to shut people up, and propa… you know what I mean. I know everything I’ve written here and how I’ve written it feels very paranoia-coded, but I put nothing past them, especially because they’ve been getting away with everything and worse for a looooooong time.  Now of all times is when they’d be extra hypervigilant. I’m exhausted. I’m one the most privileged P words in existence right now and I’m exhausted. A part of me feels like the non-P’s who are finally fighting for us are and should be picking up my slack. I don’t know.

Before October 2023, I’d be stomping around my room, huffing and puffing to myself about how everything is meaningless so anything anyone believes in is just an evolutionary human trait we need to survive so nothing anyone does or say matters… only to be proven a hypocrite by the events of this month and the deep feelings that have been stirred in me (the ones I can barely face.) Can both be true? Can I believe that we, as people, project meaning onto everything as a thing that animals with a higher-level consciousness do, and also succumb to that ‘manufactured’ meaning? Well, duh. I kinda have to. That’s how the human mind and psychology works. If I know anything for sure, it’s that it’s not natural to be a nihilist, or even a cynic. (Also, who says that meaning we project onto the world isn’t ‘real’ meaningfulness? And why is it a negative thing? I guess because everyone sees ‘meaning’ as naturally existing and divine (and therefore, positive) and I think the idea of ‘meaning’ is not natural outside our human psychology and it’s not divine (by default, I guess I see it as a negative/cynical thing.)

The most incredible thing about thinking about what you believe, what/why other people believe what they believe, or thinking about thinking, is that you will never find one fixed set of believes that will ring so true to you that you will never change your mind again or you’ll never be completely convinced that there is one true way to think.* Just when I think I’ve done it, I’ve found my set of beliefs that define who I am…some other facet I haven’t thought of barrels in and throws everything out of whack. I guess that’s good. That’s critical thinking? It’s definitely an exercise in strengthening you believes and helps to make sure your values are based on merit… at least I think it does. What do I know.

Anyway.

I’ve been super negative about everything that’s happened, but as time goes on and I see people still standing up for P and it maybe being more the ‘activist trend of the week’, I can’t help but hope that all this effort and education can lead to lasting positive change.

*If you can read through that sentence, congrats. Because I can’t anymore.

uhmahne.com

[uncle-fruity]

I am BEGGING y'all to stop posting hateful anons. Even if you have the funniest, cutest little quip that'll really show them! Specifically stop posting anyone on anon at all who is clearly trying to stir up some shit. Make these fuckers show themselves if they want to be platformed.

Anon hate? Block outright!

You do not know who that is. You don't know if that anon is really trans. You don't know if that anon is a cop. You don't know what the motivations of that anon are outside of spreading obvious hate & community division. ANYONE who is trying to divide our community -- to make trans people argue with and exclude each other, to pit us against each other -- is The Enemy. Whether they're being sincere in their bullshit or are just a bad actor trying to intentionally divide us, they are doing the work of the feds, of the oppressor, of the patriarchy.

We must be UNITED with each other! Stop throwing each other under the bus! Stop acting like these people speak for the community they *claim* to be from. Don't just fucking take their word for it! "Trans women hate trans men" NO! "Trans men just want to oppress people" NO! "Nonbinary & agender folks don't know what ~real~ oppression is" NO, NO, A THOUSAND TIMES NO!

We LOVE and RESPECT each other, damn it! There is no divide between our interests! It does not benefit me to see trans women suffer under the patriarchy! It does not benefit trans women to wave away my (transmasc) pain! It benefits no one to force gender roles & expectations onto each other. It benefits no one to write off nonbinary folks as having a "less important" experience. None of this furthers our goal for peace and human rights. It will NEVER benefit us to make snap judgements about people based on their identity. Especially when those snap judgements are based on INTERNET ANON HATE. The spread of hate & misinformation is too big a deal to just spread it willy nilly in the spirit of discourse or trying to be the funniest person on the internet.

Fucking hell. I get so SICK of this shit. If you feel like trans women as an ENTIRE GROUP are hostile towards trans men, check your fucking sources. If you think trans men as an ENTIRE GROUP are trying to escape misogyny & exercise their male privilege all over the place, check your fucking sources. If you think all nonbinary people even have the same experiences across the board, you need to expand your fucking mind to include people you never thought about existing. Use your logic: is every person in a single demographic ever the same? And by "check your fucking sources" I mean get the fuck out of your little bubble for a little while and expand the diversity of the voices you're listening to. And then LISTEN, don't weigh in; just absorb the information and think on it. You might not agree with everyone & their hot takes, but as you learn about how varied & nuanced our experiences are, you get a better sense of the overarching similarities we do share, because those things start to stick out after you've actually listened to 50+ [trans community members] who aren't all from the same corner of the internet as you. Read some damn solidarity posts and share those.

Solidarity begins and ends with us. We are the ones who make it, we are the ones who have to strengthen & protect it. I have unfollowed other trans folks who I generally agree with because of how much anon hate they uncritically respond to publicly that just furthers the division & hatred within our community. I do not experience a lot of online hate because I block/ignore the fuckos who come at me in bad faith 99% of the time, and when my fellow trans folks are the ones constantly exposing me to the kind of hate I actively avoid & whose ideals I actively fight, they are not doing me a favor. They are not doing any of us a favor. And the best way to drown out the non-anon people making bad faith arguments in our tags is similar: either ignore & block them outright or say, "This is bullshit and untrue," *without reblogging it* and let that statement speak for itself. If we all just shut these things down with one simple, "You're wrong about this," it is a lot harder for them to find enough fodder to further pit us against each other. Because even well reasoned people say stupid things in the heat of the moment that can easily be taken out of context & twisted to fit a specific narrative.

I know the urge to respond and Be Right or Own Them or Be Funny or whatever part of the brain it tickles for you is Strong. But it is careless at best, and harmful at worst. I assure you that we are better off responding to anon hate by just deleting their shit and making our own solidarity posts to counteract the kind of division they think should exist in our community.

Please, y'all. I'm begging you to post more love & solidarity than you do hate & division. I'm begging y'all to recognize how toxic it is & how easily people can manipulate you if all you do is stay angry and engage in bad faith arguments. I'm begging y'all to reach out to your community and find ways to love & spread kindness. The anger will destroy us, otherwise.

Just blocked another two people who showed up in the transandrophobia tag because they’ve decided they can’t support discussions around transandrophobia in light of these recent sexually harassing anons that trans women have been receiving that are supposedly on behalf of trans men.

And I just…

Can you imagine if there had been a similar response months ago when there were anons about correctively raping and impregnating trans men that were supposedly on behalf of trans women? If there had been people posting that we can’t take discussions of transmisogyny seriously anymore?

Honestly though? I think the people who’ve been making these posts weren’t really taking discussions on transandrophobia seriously in the first place, and were just waiting for a “good reason” to voice their antagonism.

And to be perfectly fair, there probably were some transmisogynist trans men/mascs who, months ago, when the copypasta targeting us was going around, similarly used the fact that those asks existed to further their bias against trans women.

But I can say that I only ever saw condemnations of that possibility months ago, and never any actual posts going around claiming we should trust trans women less or dismiss the concept of transmisogyny.

And I certainly never saw people saying that it would be understandable for the trans men who had been receiving these asks to trust trans women less because of it—because the ask, as heinous as it was, was a troll, it was sent to portray trans women as dangerous and untrustworthy to divide the trans community—unlike what I’ve seen in the wake of this current wave of asks.

[undyne-the-sea-witch]

Oh mamma, my intuition recognition needs work.

Today my life partner wanted to go to a Japanese buffet that opened up not too long ago.

Normally, I'm so down for these places because I love sushi / seafood, but today I had this nagging feeling against the idea. I couldn't put my finger on why, but it just felt like a bad idea. I just brushed it off because my partner really wanted to try it, & I figured I was just overthinking it, so we went.

Well, shoulda listened to my gut, because the food was mediocre at best. Even sushi from the grocery store tastes better than what I had. I ended up wasting half my plate because I had filled it up. I felt so bad wasting that much food.

Also, it was a lot busier than we were both expecting, and it was so. loud. The volume of the music was a touch too high for an indoor restaurant. We had to repeat ourselves and lean forward when speaking to each other so many times, it was that loud. If that wasn't enough, at one point they blasted the happy birthday song over the speakers suddenly & it scared me.

Between the crowd, the high ceilings that echoed all noises, & the loud music, I was far too overstimulated and anxious/agitated as a result. The whole time, I wished so badly that I had brought my earplugs with me. Even now, my ears hurt and I feel agitated, so my current coping mechanism is throwing myself under my weighted blanket, putting in my earplugs, & reading.

This has not been the first time I've had my intuition bell go off & I ignore it, believing it's me overthinking or just anxiety doing the talking. As a result, there have been plenty of instances such as these, & I kick myself every time for ignoring my gut.

As a witch, I want to do more research into exercises I can practice to learn the difference between intuition and anxiety. Despite the above, I've always had strong intuition - I just have trouble recognizing it. And today was a prime reminder as to why I should get better at listening to my gut. 😅

Once Ostara has passed & I've done all my cleaning, gardening, cleansing, & baking that I have planned, I'll start my research so I can strengthen my intuition muscles. If anyone has any advice, exercises, or tidbits on intuition, let me know!

[avantihealth]

5 reasons why 2023 needs to be the year of better health for seniors!

It is a classic saying, ‘new year, new me‘.

Every time we reach the new year, we look back on the year that was and many of us will make a resolution to drink less, eat better and move more.

At Avanti Health Centre, we focus on the health and movement of those aged over 50, we do this because we know that starting resolutions that focus on exercise can be daunting. Most of our members have never been gym people and have no idea where to start!

Due to this, we want to explain our top five reasons why exercise should be your focus for 2023 and let you know how we can help you achieve this!

AVANTI HEALTH CENTRE’S TOP FIVE REASONS WHY 2023 NEEDS TO BE THE YEAR OF BETTER HEALTH FOR SENIORS!

EXERCISE CAN BOOST YOUR MOOD

Moving your body creates a simple chemical reaction that helps produces endorphins, giving you a euphoric rush after a workout. Next time you’re having one of those days where nothing is going right – simply start by moving your body and visit us at the gym!

EXERCISE HELPS BUILD YOUR COMMUNITY

One way to meet like-minded people, especially as we transition into different life stages (e.g. retirement), is to join a gym! At Avanti Health Centre we are proud of our fun and friendly community and encourage a range of different social gatherings as we understand the physical and mental benefits of social connection as we age.

EXERCISE INCREASES OUR ENERGY

Sometimes the last thing we feel like doing when we are feeling tired – is exercise. However, this is EXACTLY what we should do to give our body the energy boost it needs. Regular physical activity can boost your endurance and enhance muscle strength.

Exercise supplies nutrients and oxygen to your tissues and helps your cardiovascular system work more efficiently. By improving your lung and heart health, you’ll have more energy to tackle daily chores and anything else life throws at you.

EXERCISE HELPS US SLEEP BETTER

As we age, our sleep can be greatly affected. As you age your body produces lower levels of growth hormone, so you’ll likely experience a decrease in slow wave or deep sleep (an especially refreshing part of the sleep cycle). When this happens you produce less melatonin, meaning you’ll often experience more fragmented sleep and wake up more often during the night.

The good news is regularly working out can help you fall asleep faster and get better sleep quality!

EXERCISE TRULY IS MEDICINE!

Did you know that research studies show that as little as 20 minutes of moderate-intensity activity each day can help keep you healthy, including lowering your risk of cardiovascular disease, stroke and cancer, among other benefits. Expertly prescribed exercise can also help manage the symptoms of thousands of conditions ranging from mental health to diabetes to cancer treatment – what could be more powerful than that!

WHAT ARE THE EXERCISE GUIDELINES FOR THOSE AGED BETWEEN 50 – 65?

According to the Australian Physical Activity Guidelines, adults aged between 50-65 should be active most days, preferably every day!

Every week, we should be aiming to achieve:

2.5 to 5 hours of moderate-intensity physical activity – for example, brisk walk, golf, mowing the lawn or swimming

1.25 to 2.5 hours of vigorous-intensity physical activity – for example, jogging, aerobics, fast cycling, tennis or netball

OR an equivalent combination of moderate and vigorous activities listed above.

We should also be aiming to include muscle-strengthening activities as part of your daily physical activity on at least 2 days each week. This can be:

push-ups

pull-ups

lifting weights

heavy household tasks that involve lifting, carrying or digging.

WHAT ARE THE EXERCISE GUIDELINES FOR OVER 65S?

For those who are aged 65 years and over, we recommend at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity on most, preferably all, days. Moderate activity is defined as fitness activities are good for your heart, lungs and blood vessels, and can include:

brisk walking

swimming

golf with no cart

aerobics or water aerobics

cycling

yard and garden work

tennis

mopping and vacuuming.

As you age it is also important to include strength exercises into your daily routine, these can include:

weight, strength or resistance training

lifting and carrying (for example, groceries or small children)

climbing stairs

moderate yard work (for example, digging and shifting soil)

calisthenics (for example, push-ups and sit-ups).

Finally, you should also be focusing on flexibility and balance exercises to train our bodies to be strong, flexible and safe as we age.

Flexibility activities can include:

tai chi

bowls (indoor and outdoor)mopping or vacuuming

stretching exercises

yoga

dancing.

Balancing activities can include:

side leg raises

half squats

heel raises.

ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT STARTING TO MOVE MORE IN 2023?

Our first piece of advice is, doing any physical activity is better than doing none. If you do no physical activity right now, start by doing some, then slowly build up to the recommended amount.

If you find 30 minutes difficult right now, start with just 10 minutes once or twice a day. After 2 weeks, increase to 15 minutes twice a day.

If you can do more than 30 minutes, you will get extra benefits.

Over the course of the week, try to incorporate different types of activities.

Try to reduce the time you spend sitting down – break that time up as often as you can.

If you are looking for a little more guidance and community support then give our friendly team a call at your closest Avanti Health Centre and let’s get you involved in the gym the over-50s community has been waiting for!  Click here to find your nearest centre!

[semiotomatics]

yeah okay lets talk abt this (sorry it got long i needed to vent lol)

okay so. the basics: started getting pretty severe back pain in 2013 when i started having to stand for 8 hours at a time at my job. ended up getting a workers comp claim filed and going to physio, where they taught me some exercises to strengthen my core/other muscles + got those like, deep tissue/pressure point massages w heat or w/e. but the workers comp only lasted like a couple months or smth so i stopped going after that

fast forward to summer 2015 n im at a local street festival n a chiropractor is offering free x-rays + consult for ppl experiencing back pain. well! i absolutely was still experiencing back pain! so i got said free x-rays n at the consult learned that i had 1) scoliosis 2) a tilted pelvis and 3) an extra lumbar vertebrae. he (ofc) recommended i start getting treated by him but a) my medical at the time didnt cover chiropractors and b) iiiii didnt really have the best opinion of chiropractic uhhh anything xD so i declined

over the next seven years my back pain got worse and worse, and i developed pain basically throughout my entire body, with the worst of it centring around my lower back/knees/ankles/feet. in late 2020 i finally got fitted for custom orthotics during which the...guy-who-gets-you-fitted-for-orthotics noted i had "some of the flattest feet he had ever seen" (possibly also some of the most flexible ankles he had ever seen as well, i cant remember lol). i already knew i had flat feet (obvs) n suspected my ankles were fucked up but it was v validating to hear him confirm that both of these things would increase my chances of experiencing back/knee/ankle/foot pain. unfortunately, i got those orthotics shortly after getting laid off from work n ended up not working again till almost a year later so i wasn't really able to like, test them out for a while, and by the time i did and found out they didnt really help, my free adjustment period had ended :(

alongside the chronic back/joint pain i also started experiencing sciatic nerve pain as well as routinely "throwing out" my back (idk if i pinch a nerve or tear a muscle or what but im basically bedbound for like. a week or more and if i move or use that muscle at all its the most excruciating pain ive ever experienced in my life). in late summer 2022 i "threw out my back" while volunteering n ended up walking on it for like. a couple hours afterwards which uhhhhhhhhh fucked me up severely. the pain started radiating out from my back into my hips/legs, and my hips literally just straight up stopped moving/working right anymore. i was walking like, not with a limp but almost like with a weird sway to my hips? aaaaand my scoliosis reversed itself!!! where before my spine had curved to one side, all of a sudden it was curving the other way!! and the curve was much more noticeable just by looking at my silhouette in the mirror than it ever had been before!! which was not a thing i thought could happen!! so like, what the fuck!!

i ended up getting prescribed prescription-strength muscle relaxants as well as prescription-strength naproxen for that injury, which was a godsend, but i also was motivated, mostly by the whole scoliosis-reversal thing, to actually get my back checked out by someone to see wtf was going on. so i went to a local clinic (i have no pcp) and explained my situation to the dr, basically everything ive just described here.

and he said. and i quote "well, losing weight would help with that"

.

you guys.

when i tell you that i burst into tears

i burst into tears in that room and begged him, begged him to help me find out what was wrong. i told him the pain was preventing me from working, preventing me from running errands, preventing me from living. i told him i was feeling actively suicidal because of both the pain itself and how it was destroying my life.

finally, after listening to all that, he said, exasperated: "well what do you want me to do?"

and i said "please, can you just refer me to get an x-ray to see what's going on with my back"

so he did. and i went and got an x-ray a few days later. i asked the tech there if i could get a copy of them and she said to wait until they were sent to the doctors office and request copies from them, so i did. when they hadn't called me back in a couple weeks i called them asking if they had received them yet. they said no. i asked if they would call me when they did. they said yes.

they never did.

that was in december 2022. then 2023 happened and i just. i gave up yall. i gave up on ever getting a fucking answer for why i was in so much pain, let alone ever being able to fix it. even after my breakdown this summer which finally led to me starting on antidepressants and then therapy, i still didnt have a shred of faith that id ever be able to get any dr to give a shit abt the debilitating pain i had spent the last decade of my life experiencing

and then. finally. this week. i was just like. fuck it. whats the email of that clinic. and i found it, and i emailed them asking for copies of my x-rays, if they still had them. and they responded! the very next day! unfortunately they only gave me the...i assume radiologists? findings rather than the x-rays themselves (im gonna write back seeing if/how i can get those, cause i do still want them for my records). but still!! oh my god!! its been an entire calendar year but i finally got to find out what the results were!!

so the extra lumbar vertebrae i knew already. the rest i was kinda surprised to hear cause like? ive seen my 2015 x-rays and they clearly showed my scoliosis/tilted pelvis? so i assumed this would too? but who knows! it had been seven years! also the first set were done standing up, while these ones were done lying down, so idk how that might affect things. in any case, i decided to google this "presumed lumbarization of S1 vertebra", just to see what came up

yall.

yall.

so like!!! okay!!! when i was told the whole "having an extra lumbar vertebra was fine and wouldn't cause back pain" thing that was just straight up false i guess!! and when i went to the dr and told him i had low back pain + scoliosis + an extra lumbar vertebra he should've!! perhaps!! investigated further!!

i cannot explain to you how furious this makes me. whether this is the exclusive cause of my back pain, a contributing cause, hell, even if its a complete red herring. every source i read indicated that if a patient presents with chronic severe low back pain AND known structural abnormalities (like literally all of mine!!) that they should fucking consider that perhaps those two things are related!! they should AT FUCKING LEAST try to rule them out as causes!!!!!!! they definitely shouldnt tell their (not in any way overweight btw) patient to lose weight!!!!!! fuck!!!!!

anyway. in the new year i am going to try again to get a dr to take me seriously. and maybe they wont. maybe ill have to cry and beg again for them to give me the basic standard of care. but fuck!! im not going to give up until SOMEONE agrees to actually figure out what the fuck is wrong with me!! i don't want to be in pain anymore!!! i just fucking dont!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT

fucking. fuck.

i dont have the energy/mental bandwidth to properly explain rn but i just Learned Something abt my body that could explain a biiiiiig part of the issues ive been having

and the fact that im only learning it now, in december 2023 at the age of almost-30, has me. fuming

i legitimately want every single apathetic/lazy/misogynistic/fucking ableist healthcare professional to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[little-lynx]

TO ACT LIKE CAREERS

Because I love trainer!Peeta so much.

From Catching Fire:

But after a few days, we agree to act like Careers, because this is the best way to get Peeta ready as well. Every night we watch the old recaps of the Games that the remaining victors won. I realize we never met any of them on the Victory Tour, which seems odd in retrospect. When I bring it up, Haymitch says the last thing President Snow would've wanted was to show Peeta and me—especially me — bonding with other victors in potentially rebellious districts. Victors have a special status, and if they appeared to be supporting my defiance of the Capitol, it would've been dangerous politically. Adjusting for age, I realize some of our opponents may be elderly, which is both sad and reassuring. Peeta takes copious notes, Haymitch volunteers information about the victors' personalities, and slowly we begin to know our competition.

Every morning we do exercises to strengthen our bodies. We run and lift things and stretch our muscles. Every afternoon we work on combat skills, throwing knives, fighting hand to hand; I even teach them to climb trees. Officially, tributes aren't supposed to train, but no one tries to stop us. Even in regular years, the tributes from Districts 1, 2, and 4 show up able to wield spears and swords. This is nothing by comparison.

After all the years of abuse, Haymitch's body resists improvement. He's still remarkably strong, but the shortest run winds him. And you'd think a guy who sleeps every night with a knife might actually be able to hit the side of a house with one, but his hands shake so badly it takes weeks for him to achieve even that.

Peeta and I excel under the new regimen, though. It gives me something to do. It gives us all something to do besides accept defeat. My mother puts us on a special diet to gain weight. Prim treats our sore muscles. Madge sneaks us her father's Capitol newspapers. Predictions on who will be victor of the victors show us among the favorites. Even Gale steps into the picture on Sundays, although he's got no love for Peeta or Haymitch, and teaches us all he knows about snares. It's weird for me, being in conversations with both Peeta and Gale, but they seem to have set aside whatever issues they have about me.

PAINFUL BONUS:

One night, as I'm walking Gale back into town, he even admits, “It'd be better if he were easier to hate.” “Tell me about it,” I say. “If I could've just hated him in the arena, we all wouldn't be in this mess now. He'd be dead, and I'd be a happy little victor all by myself.”

//Peeta watches Katniss walking Gale back into town

[hughhowey]

The Therapy is the Thing

A year ago this month, I was out wakeboarding with friends in Long Island when I took a spill. When I went down, I was racing out on a wide arc almost ahead of the boat pulling me, doing at least 50mph. The board's edge caught the water, and when I went down, my left arm flew above my head in a way I'd never felt before. Never in 45 years of taking nasty spills. It flew above my head with zero resistance, as if nothing was attached.

The pain set in immediately and lasted for weeks. Then months. Definitely something torn in there. I could barely move it above my head, and I was too weak to do my usual exercises or yoga. Pulling a shirt on was painful. But it wasn't scary. And I knew what to do. I'd been here before.

I tore my right rotator cuff when I was in my late 20s. A week of sports abuse and a terrible fall right on my shoulder (which probably shoved a bone through the muscle) resulted in a 100% tear of one of my four shoulder muscles. This was confirmed years later with an MRI, when the pain became unbearable. I basically just lived with a bum shoulder for over a decade. I could no longer throw footballs or baseballs with friends. I had to play frisbee left handed. I figured it would always be that way.

When I was sailing through New England in my 40s, the pain got so bad I couldn't lift my arm at all. Putting on deodorant entailed placing my right hand flat on a table, taking a big step away from the table to open my armpit, rolling on deodorant, taking a step back.

Putting on a shirt looked like a Harry Houdini routine in reverse.

I went to see a doctor and an MRI confirmed that one of the four muscles was missing. Retracted up into my shoulder. They could go in, pull it down, cut a notch in a bone, and screw it into the bone. I would have to immobilize it for 6-8 weeks and then do 4-6 months of physical therapy. And maybe I'd get 90% of my strength back.

We scheduled the surgery. I sailed north with one arm.

On a wharf one day, I met a newlywed couple and made small talk. The bride was a physical therapist. I mentioned that I'd just gone to meet my new PT and that I was having surgery soon, which was going to put a half-year pause on my circumnavigation.

"The therapy is the thing," she told me. "Not the surgery."

I asked more, and she explained that the surgery didn't do much. The muscle would tear right out of the screw if you relied on the surgery to fix you. It's the immobilization and the gradual strengthening of the other muscles using the bands and exercises the physical therapist would lead me through. If I wanted to, I could skip the surgery and just do the PT. I'd get the same or even better results.

This sounded insane to me. Here was a 20-something fresh out of school telling me the opposite of the best shoulder doctor in Boston, the guy who works on the Celtics' shoulders. But I wanted to believe her. And I realized something: it was free and easy to test her insane idea. The surgery was months out. I bought some bands and started the exercises my PT told me we'd be doing after the surgery.

The first round of exercises are ridiculous, that's how injured I was. Put a band around a doorknob, hold it in one hand, and step away from the door. Step back. Repeat 15 times. Rest. Do it again. Stop when you feel any pain worse than the resting pain. Now face a different direction and do it again. Repeat.

As the days went on, I was able to step further away, putting more resistance in the band. After a week, I was doing exercises where I moved my arm instead of having to carry it along with my entire body. One morning I lifted my arm away from my body to put on deodorant. A week later I was getting a shirt on and off without looking like a circus act. What the hell was happening?

It turns out the other three muscles can take over the rotation duties in the shoulder, but they have to learn from scratch. I was teaching them. Within four months of getting in a band routine, I had full strength back. No pain. I went back to throwing baseballs and playing disc golf. I got in the best shape of my life, and it didn't take surgery. All because of a chance encounter on a wharf one day.

So when I tore something in my other arm, I didn't panic. I also didn't resign myself to years of discomfort or feel like I had to give up my lifestyle. I just gave my shoulder some rest and began the band work. Once again, I got back to 100%.

The challenge, I've realized, is forcing ourselves to do the PT when we don't have the cost and pain of surgery to scare us into a routine. Which leads me to another thought: what other things in life could we improve if we had the equivalent of surgery to force our hands?

What if a doctor cut us open, put us in a sling or cast, and said the only way to get back to 100% is to write 1,500 words a day until that novel is complete?

Or the only way back to 100% is to spend an hour a day meditating?

Or the only way back to 100% is to sit down with a friend or loved one every day to have a talk that's deeper than the one before?

What if we had expensive, painful surgery, and our physical therapist said the only way to fully heal was to hug at least ten strangers a day and hold them until you felt both your bodies sag against each other?

Maybe the surgery isn't needed.

The therapy is the thing.

[dying-disaster]

Exercise for blah days

been trying to motivate myself to get moving lately bc its been so hard since I haven't had a lot of energy so hopefully this will help someone

A problem I've had a lot is feeling like I have to be all or nothing with exercise, feeling like if I'm not doing intense stuff or popular stuff that its not valid exercise. But I've realized that its more important to just do some sort of movement if you're able than it is to go all out and follow workout routines that will burn me out in a couple of days or weeks.

Now I know that exercise doesn't cure depression or anything, but I also realize that personally, I feel a lot healthier and better about myself when I can get my body moving and feel like im accomplishing something that will help me. so

Walking

Walking is an obvious one, if you're able to get out and do it. Walking may seem easy, but its also very beneficial, especially at a moderate pace, because it builds up your endurance and stretches out your leg muscles. You also get the added benefit of being outside, soaking up sun, and getting some fresh air!

Yoga/Stretching

Yoga is great because there's so many lessons focused on accessibility for beginners and people with mobility issues. You also don't even have to leave your house to do it! Some yoga youtubers even incorporate meditation into their lessons, which is great for mental health. Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube is a great resource, she has so many different lessons for all sorts of purposes and levels. I love doing her yoga to wake up and yoga to calm down flows.

Martial Arts

Martial Arts is kind of a tricky one, since its recommended to go to in person classes before trying it on your own since bad form with some movements might lead to you injuring yourself, however if you have past experience its a great way to get your body moving while having fun and working towards a goal. If you have no prior experience, things like taekwondo forms can be something fun to do, since they're pretty easy and one of the first things you learn. Alex Wong on YouTube has some great examples of kicking and balance drills you can do.

Sports

Another obvious one, but sports can be a great way to have fun and get moving. You don't even have to join a team or anything, just grab a basketball or a soccer ball and head to a local park when its not busy. Most tennis courts will have a wall you can practice against too if you want to try that.

Dancing

Dancing is a great way to get some cardio in and strengthen your muscles while having a lot of fun and learning some cool moves! There's so many videos you can look up to learn dances and dance moves, and its something easy you can do right in your room.

Cleaning

I know cleaning isn't fun by most peoples standards, but I love to throw on some music and make my house feel clean and cozy. Cleaning is a surprisingly good way of getting your body moving, since it involves a lot of motions and sometimes some physical effort. If you're able to get up and clean something, it also does wonders for your mental health to have a clean space to be in.

Playing with your pets

Unless you have a dog, playing with your pets probably won't be too intensive, but hey, they deserve some quality playtime, and it'll make you feel good.

I know these might not be accessible for everyone, but if your able to and want to these are some great things you can try to be more active in your life.