#there is no way they properly address any feelings towards each other

[vixscribs]

despite benrook being a decently popular ship I can't seem to get behind a lot of fan content I see. Those are coworkers. There's no way they're snuggling and shit that's highly unprofessional.

[breeyn]

An essay rebutting the “bad writing” claims of s2 ofmd. Spoilers herein.

I’ll preface this with saying you’re obviously allowed to like and dislike whatever you want. I am in no way opposing that. And your reasons are your reasons. Have at. (Also - this is a collection of observations from the past few days, I’m not calling anyone out)

I AM going to rebut the idea that season two was poorly written and lost the spirit of what the show is about.

My favourite movie of all time is Empire Strikes Back. It’s been my favourite movie since I was four. I’m pretty sure it’s a fave of David Jenkins, too. He and Taika have made absolutely no attempt to hide their love of all things 80’s - Prince, the Princess Bride, Kate Bush, Star Wars, etc.

I have ancient video tapes (that I can’t play because who has a vcr) where Lucas is interviewed by Leonard Maltin? Malkin? I dunno. Who cares. Maltin asks him about the Star Wars (original trilogy) story arc. Lucas says “in act I, you introduce all the characters. In act II, you put them in a situation they can’t get out of, and in act III, they get out of it.”

That’s how it works. This is how stories and literary structures work.

Of course you’re not satisfied with season two. You’re not supposed to be.

The arguments I have read on why s2 loses the spirit of s1 is because no one heals. No one learns anything. No one moves forward properly. The person who makes the biggest move towards healing dies. The two main characters end the show doing the exact fucking thing they had promised themselves and each other they wouldn’t do. Our romantic lead still doesn’t understand his value or make any headway on addressing his tragic flaw. It makes no goddamn sense.

My gremlins in weird: it’s not supposed to. In Act 2, EVERYONE LOSES. This is how it goes.

I’ve read a lot of people saying “but this felt like a series finale, not a season finale.” We all know that outside politics play a part here, the strikes make everything precarious. I remember the last writers strike. It destroyed tv for fifteen years. Anyone remember Pushing Daisies? Some of y’all have never had your fave show cancelled with zero resolution for the characters and it shows.

Daddy J did us a kindness. He softened the blow of a tough season. After the brutal cliffhanger of s1, he gave us a little softness and hope. All those things you’re mad aren’t resolved? It’s because THE STORY ISN’T OVER.

No one on earth thinks “stuff all your trauma into a box and ignore it” is good advice. A way to actually live. This show did not have enough screen time to throw out dialogue for no reason. There was foreshadowing in s1 for s2, and there is foreshadowing for s3 in s2. This is a well-crafted story by very smart people who care very much for these characters. There is zero chance Frenchie explained the box in his head for no reason. The reason people have not resolved their trauma and growth is because they haven’t done it *yet*.

And friends - it’s not thinly veiled. They straight up fucking tell us what they’re doing.

Luke Skywalker spends the first two movies fucking up and desperately trying to prove himself and just generally being an idiot. Sound familiar? He ignores the lessons he is supposed to be learning to go off and do what he feels like doing, and loses fucking badly. At the end of Empire, Han is gone, Luke and Leia wave goodbye to the Falcon that has Lando and Chewy - the rest of their crew - aboard. Everyone has lost everything they care about. Vader is undefeated. Yoda is pissed. Nothing is resolved.

You see where I’m going?

If you think I’m stretching this too far, welp, when Ed tells Stede he loves him - the climax of the finale - Stede quotes Han fucking Solo. Like - *it’s right there*. The story structure. The reason everything is unresolved.

So yeah. They wave goodbye to their ship because they have wounds to heal (like Luke’s hand). The people aboard the ship have things to find. Ed and Stede have *not* learned their lesson about whims and how not to be like Anne and Mary. It’s not stupid that they’re doing the same thing, and it’s not pointless that we were shown Anne and Mary. It’s all relevant.

The resolution comes in Act 3. None of these people are done. The story is far, far from over. And just in case the studios want to be dicks about it, David Jenkins was lovely enough to not repeat my enduring heartbreak over Pushing Daisies.

Thank you, @davidjenks 🖤

[penig]

So there's very little, if any point, either agonizing or rejoicing about casting Skarsgaard as Murderbot because execution is everything and it could be every bit as bad as some people expect or it could be as good as other people expect or it could be a real mixed bag and there's nothing we can do about it, anyway. We won't know what we think about it till we watch it, but people like making discourse in a vacuum and here we are.

I totally get that there's something simultaneously inevitable and revolting about the idea of a character, canonically extremely oppressed in a world in which everyone whose skin color is described is more or less brown, being played by a member of the least oppressed population demographic with which most of us are familiar. My initial reaction was not great, either.

But every time I see someone say: "Murderbot is not a cis white man!" I can't help thinking: "No, it's not. But in the TV show, it looks like one."

Look, I'm bisexual. And cis. And monogamous. The person I married happened to also be bisexual and cis. We didn't stop being bisexual when we married each other, but when we're together, we don't look queer. We look heterosexual. Which means, we get a lot of heteronormative privilege we don't ask for and I can see why more visibly queer people might resent that. But you know what happens when we try to reject that privilege? People both straight and queer look us dead in the eye and tell us that we're not really queer.

And that sucks.

Ask any light-skinned black person capable of passing for white, any Jew being told that it's okay to commit terrorist acts toward them because they're really white, any queer in any closet, any SecUnit getting a job as security consultant believing that if its soft, grateful clients didn't think it was an augmented human they wouldn't like it so much.

It's not a good idea to rate things hierarchically. Particularly not oppressions. Every person's oppression is unique, and some are more fatal than others but they're all uniquely awful. Knowing that you're not what you're passing as and that the only way to gain access to certain things that should be available to anybody is to deny part of yourself is pretty bad; especially if failure to pass properly is likely to get you lynched. Or stripped for parts and recycled.

Murderbot doesn't want to be a cis white augmented human male. It doesn't like how it feels to be treated as one. It wants to be itself. Even though being treated as itself has always meant being treated badly, and it doesn't like that either. It isolates itself a lot in environments where it has to pass as an augmented human, to minimize the time it spends maintaining its false face.

Consider what it says when contemplating what name to put in the FeedID that Senior Indah insists upon, in Fugitive Telemetry:

I could use the local feed address that was hard coded into my neural interfaces. it wasn't my real name, but it was what the systems I interfaced with called me. If I used it, the humans and augmented humans I encountered would think of me as a bot. Or I could use the name Rin. I liked it, and there were some humans outside the Corporation Rim who thought it was actually my name. I could use it, and the humans on the Station wouldn't have to think about what I was...I posted a feed ID with the name SecUnit, gender = not applicable, and no other information.

It could have an easier life and make the people around it more comfortable if it compromised on presenting itself as itself, whole entire. But it doesn't want to claim that easier life. It's not worth it.

Maybe that'll come across in the show and maybe it won't and maybe whether it comes across or not will depend as much on the viewer as on what appears on the screen. We won't know till we see it.

Till then, I'm not ready to write it off.

[sunflowerhae]

Ch. 23 The Big One™️

Do you answer the door, do you not answer the door? Do you answer the door, do you not answer the door?

To be honest, you were too scared to even go NEAR the door, what with the person on the other side pounding on it at 9 in the morning. You had just gotten back from Jaehyun’s house and looked like a hot mess. What if it was Giselle on the other side, ready to ream you a new one for ditching her last night at a party SHE invited you to (god you really needed to apologize properly)? What if it was Jaehyun ready to demand where you ran off to - as if he even has your new address?

You felt sick. All morning you’ve felt sick, right from the moment you woke up in an unknown bed, with a stranger laying next to you. Sure, you dated Jaehyun only three years ago, but three years is enough time to turn even our closest friends into strangers. The minute you woke up and saw the sleeping boy who you once found beautiful, you couldn’t stop the silent tears from rolling down your face. God, what would haechan think of you? Sure, he didn’t know about jaehyun quite yet, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t be disappointed - it couldn’t mean you can’t feel bad. And boy, do you feel bad. Even if haechan doesn’t see you like you see him, you cant help but feel like you cheated on him. Maybe it’s delusion, but you don’t care - you inadvertently hurt him but hurting yourself.

You were thankful you could just sweep this all under the rug, right after you give your friends SOME form of explanation for ditching Giselle last night, and it didn’t hurt to put on a brave front for them and pretend you were proud of yourself - just for your own dignity. You won’t see jaehyun again, but at the very least you can make it seem like you used him and left him just like he did you - would they be proud of you then? Definitely not after you realize you sent it not just to your friends, but to HAECHAN and his friends too.

Lord kill you know.

Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe by showing haechan that you can also like someone else, it will help you get this silly fantasy out of your head that Haechan actually likes you. Maybe he’ll say “oh! Y/n this is GREAT - we can go on double dates together” and that will heal you of the disease called love you currently have. Probably won’t - but maybe?

Well, regardless of that, you have to face the music. That’s why, with a deep breath, you pull the front door open - not bothering to check who’s on the other side. It’s not Giselle staring back at your in anger, or even Jaehyun in confusion - but it’s the boy you were just thinking about, staring at you in disgust. The both of you just stand there for a moment, taking it all in. You actually haven’t seen Haechan in a week - the last time being you briefly passed each other in the hallway and stopped for the casual “how are you” “fine and yourself” before going on your separate ways; pretending like you never knew each other as more than neighbors; pretending like he doesn’t occupy your thoughts 24 hours of the day.

The moment is over, you realize, when Haechan shoves past you and turns around to stare at you from his place in your living room. He looks like he’s ready for battle - a determined look on his face and his feet stood rigid like poles. You slowly trail after him, breaking from the path to branch off into the kitchen - still in his line of sight but not quite near him. Haechan scoffs at the irony.

Close but so far. Just like she has been from the moment I learned who she was.

“Would you like some water?” You ask, not looking at him but instead with your back turned towards the cupboard.

“No, that’s not why I’m here,” you stop with your hand midair - the tone of his voice shocking you. Haechan has never yelled at you, never raised his voice in anger, never even had a sharp undertone that couldn’t be passed as humor. Haechan has never given any sign that he was even capable of getting to that level of anger, at least not with you. But as you hear the shake in his voice - the unmistakable presence of fury - you understand that there’s another thing to haechan that was omitted from you. “Im here because you need to explain to me what I saw.”

You turn to him slowly, and send an almost humorous look that shoots shockwaves down Haechan’s body. He could never in his right mind deny your beauty, or deny his love for you. No matter how angry that look made him, because it meant that you weren’t taking this as seriously as he meant it to be taken, he cannot deny his feelings.

“Haechan, what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about those pictures, y/n. What the fuck was that?”

“Oh, those little things? I don’t know what you’re asking me haechan but I’m sorry I sent them in that group chat, I meant it to be a private thing” you shrugged, going back to getting two glasses of water, once again turning back to the counter.

Even though you couldn’t see him, Haechan shook his head in disbelief, not seeing how you could be so nonchalant about all this. “I don’t care about the group chat, y/n. Why were you in some guys bed?”

You laughed at this, “well haechan, when a boy and a girl like each other very much-“

“Y/n! Stop acting stupid- I’m serious!” He looked at you, seemingly exasperated by your behavior. You raised your eyebrows at the boy, coming up to him now with two glasses of water. You tried handing him one but he just softly pushed your hand away, shaking his head while turning away with a sigh. You rolled your eyes as you set both cups down on the coffee table, choosing to match Haechan’s energy somewhat by standing along with him. You don’t know why, but you get the feeling you should prepare for a fight - maybe because Haechan is acting like you both are about to fight right now.

“Haechan, I’m confused right now. Why does this make you so angry?” It’s Haechan’s turn to act like you’re the crazy one, what with his eye roll and quick snap of his head to your face - like you just asked if the Earth was round.

“Because Y/n I’m worried about you! What the hell is going on with you these past couple weeks? You’ve been running around to parties and sleeping with strangers and you haven’t been talking to ME at all! Is this a cry for help?” Now it was your turn to be mad. Who exactly does this kid think he is?

“Yknow what haechan - I will not have you come into MY home and treat me like this. SIT DOWN,” You point to the couch, angry that you have to treat a grown man like a dog. The “man” in question huffs, but still does as told and plops down on the seat behind him, still as antsy as ever with his leg bouncing as he waits for you to continue, “I’m going to be straight with you haechan, my LIFE is going to parties and running around. I’m not a student or an office worker, I am an entertainer professionally. My friends - par Jaemin - are professional entertainers. We don’t just sit at home all day - occasionally we GO TO PARTIES and NETWORK with other entertainers. As for the STRANGER, one it wasn’t a stranger at all, but in fact someone I’ve known for YEARS and have a history with. Two, if you MUST KNOW as my friend it won’t be happening again, but if it does or doesn’t really isn’t any of YOUR business. And lastly, let me tell you - there’s a reason we aren’t talking right now, haechan. Because I never know WHO I’m going to get! Will it be the Haechan who plays games and loves to go get food at 3 am and stay up watching all the twilight movies in order, or is it donghyuck who keeps secrets and doesn’t tell his friends he has a crush on a girl. I get that you want to know about my life, but you can’t get mad at me for not talking to you when it’s not like YOU talk to ME. I haven’t received texts that you want to hang out or anything from you! Meanwhile you SEE I’m busy working and yes haechan I know I should have been more communicative to a friend but can you blame me when lately I feel like I barely even know you? You have no right to storm in here like this and demand I tell you anything when you’re the secretive one in this friendship!” You release a big sigh, finishing your rant and staring at the boy who looks back in shock.

You’re right. Haechan knows you’re right, on all fronts. It’s everything he has told himself and what everyone has been telling him these past couple weeks. He feels nothing but shame as he looks at the ground. God, he’s really fucked up. He took a beautiful opportunity and turned it into nothing but a lie. He knows this is going to hurt, but he can’t keep lying. There’s just one thing he doesn’t understand before he owns up to everything.

“What girl?” Haechan looks at you in confusion as you finish taking a drink from your glass. You look back in equal bewilderment, and annoyance. Is that really ALL he got from that?

“What do you mean what girl, Haechan?”

“You said not telling you about a crush on some girl - what girl.”

“Huh? The girl you said you had a crush on that went to your school? The one Ningning told me about - haechan are you feeling okay?” You look at Haechan, and watch as the realization turns in his head, and his eyes go wide like saucers. Before you can understand what’s going on, Haechan springs from his seat and starts pacing around your living room, “Haechan, you’re scaring me.” You mumble out as you stand as well, following the boy with your eyes.

Suddenly he stops in the middle of the room, back where he began, and he turns to you - only for you to see the fear in his eyes. Before you can even comment on it, Haechan is bursting, “y/n, I lied.”

Your head tilts in confusion, Haechan taking this as an opportunity to keep going, “there was no girl - never any girl. Ningning panicked when she was talking with you because the girl she was talking about was…you. I like you, a lot. And I thought you didn’t like me back and it would be easier to lie about it so you could forget and then years and years down the road I would confess over a cup of coffee and you would laugh because the damage was done and forgotten. But, regardless of that I lied and I’m so sorry and I hope you can forgive me.”

Your head was reeling. If you didn’t have a headache before, you definitely have one now. First, haechan is mad, now he’s apologizing for lying - and he likes you. Haechan likes you. Now you feel especially shitty about those pictures.

You plop back into your seat with a sigh, your eyes focused on the floor as you process this. Haechan, thankfully, stays quiet - letting you have your moment. After what feels like forever, you look back up at Haechan in determination, “I forgive you. And I like you too”.

Haechan starts laughing maniacally almost immediately, like someone said the funniest joke he’s ever heard. This goes on for 20 solid seconds before his laughter fizzles out as he realizes you’re not laughing with him. Then, his eyes get even wider than possible and he softly asks, “wait, really? But what about Jae-I mean..that guy?”

You shrug with an apologetic sigh, “it was a drunken mistake, haechan. I felt so bad for it after and yeah I was playing it up in the group chat but honestly, I felt like an idiot. I like you so much and I was just so petty about us not really talking and the whole name situation that I acted before thinking. I’m so sorry, do you forgive me?” You hold your breath, hoping he’ll get the memo that you’re completely serious.

Thankfully he does, as he immediately attacks you in a hug that has the both of you almost falling over in the chair. You laugh into his neck, and you both stay like that for a moment before he’s pulling himself back and looking at you in awe, “of course I do - oh thank GOD! Fuck, y/n you have no idea how happy I am! God I KNEW jaehyun wasn’t right for you and I’m so glad you decided not to get back with him!” Haechan’s laughing, the smile on his face is blinding.

And just like that, your world comes crashing down and the sickness returns. Your breath catches in your throat as you slowly push Haechan off you in..fear. Haechan is confused, and rightfully so you guess, but you can’t calm yourself down as you stand up from your chair and back away from him.

You’ve always prided yourself on your memory. Ever since you were a little girl, you could solve memory games faster than anyone in your grade, you’ve always been able to remember obscure details about someone that they said in passing - and you’ve ALWAYS been able to recall what you’ve said to people.

And you know for a FACT you never told Haechan Jaehyuns name. There’s only one place you’ve ever publicly mentioned him - and that place is your twitch. You typically save your twitch videos and upload them to YouTube, but you’ve already looked through every single one and deleted any mentions of jaehyun from any form of your media. You did that probably a year ago, to officially say goodbye to him. You know there’s no videos of the two of you online - you’ve SCOURED the internet. And most of all, you know for a fact that there’s no fanmade videos that mention the both of you - Jaehyuns company made sure of that before he debuted. So that means….

“Haechan - how do you know who Jaehyun is?” Haechan’s face goes pale as he realizes his slip up. You both look at each other in silence for a good minute, waiting to see who will move first. Haechan knows there’s no point in gaslighting you. If you could remember to be scared just at the mention of Jaehyuns name from Haechan’s mouth, he’s already been caught.

“Y/n…” he finally gets out, and you know what that means.

Almost like a whisper - because you’re too weak and ill to get anything else out - your voice cracks as you ask, “how long”. Haechan goes to speak, but you know he’ll try and bullshit you, so you repeat yourself louder this time, “HOW LONG HAECHAN”.

He sighs, giving up. This is what he wanted, after all. This is what he chose when he decided to lie to you, “two years-“ you gasp and turn away from the boy in disgust, “renjun introduced you to me”.

You were played for the fool. How many times did you tell your friends that haechan just…gets you. How many times did you ask yourself how it’s possible for someone to know things about you before you even say it - for someone to be so in-tune with your needs like…he studied them. “Oh my god,” you groan out, feeling like you’re going to throw up. You see out of your peripheral vision that haechan tries to shuffle closer to you, possibly trying to comfort you as you lean on your counter for support. You immediately stand up straight and back away from the stranger in your living room.

“Are you a stalker?” You yell.

“No, god - y/n! You moved in here AFTER me,” He yells back, “please I understand why you’re upset but you have to know it’s not like that!” He pleads, but it goes in one ear and out the other. You look anywhere else but at haechan, feeling panicked.

“How much did you like me…how much of a fan were you..” you ask now, secretly knowing you won’t like the answer.

“I don’t think I should say-” The boy is red, redder than before. He knows he’s close to crying but he’s holding on as much as he can - as much as anyone can while his world tumbles down.

“-TELL ME DONGHYUCK, HOW MUCH!” You interrupt, practically begging. Haechan flinches at the use of his full name, and sighs, feeling the first couple tears drop.

“I…I had a picture of you in my room.”

And there it was.

You gasp, shocked. The room is rigid - even your cats have scattered at the ice cold feeling surrounding the two of you. Your chin wobbles as you stare at the pathetic version of the boy you loved, standing in front of you now. No amount of forgivesness can heal this, you think. Haechan, desperate now, tries one last time to step closer; to invade your bubble and life more than he already has. You’re not letting him get a fast one on you though, because what you need right now is for him to leave.

You take a step back in fear, anger, and shock. You point to the front door, and as confidently as you can muster, you tell the man, “get out, now.” Haechan looks at you, not in shock, not in sadness or guilt, but..in acceptance. Like he knows there’s nothing else he can do or say; he knows he fucked up.

He walks to the door normally, although he doesn’t try to hide the tears anymore. He sees that you, too, have started crying - which angers him even more. As he makes it to the door, he turns back to you one last time and says, “I understand I fucked up. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now. Just..please, if you find that you need answers - you know where I am.” And he doesn’t wait for your reply, instead just walking out the door, and you don’t wait to see him off before slamming it shut and locking it behind him.

Your reply never would have come.

GG! (Good Game!) 👾

Wordcount: 3k

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[vertical-sekai]

Introductory post!

WHAT IS VERTICAL SEKAI?

Vertical SEKAI is a fan made alternate universe of Project SEKAI made by @shiraoyagi .

It is a unitswap based on the number order of each character in the files. These numbers are organized vertically to create new units rather than how they are done horizontally in the original game. To demonstrate (because I couldn't find a more concise way to word this), I created a chart.

The above image shows how the numbers are organized by unit in canon. For reference, 1 is Ichika, 20 is Mizuki, and 21 is Miku.

The below image shows how the numbers are organized by unit in the Vertical SEKAI AU.

DISCLAIMER: I did not shuffle the VS numbers because they serve the same function in this AU as they do in the canon game. Ideally, I'd sort them vertically to determine their default unit placements, but unfortunately, by doing this I would create a massive plot hole in AURORA's lore, so I decided against it.

I don't expect anyone to know the character numbers off the top of their head, so I'll also list the units properly below (with altered unit placements to reflect the story).

re:birth*

Ichika Hoshino (Guitar and Lead Vocals)

Haruka Kiritani (Bass)

Akito Shinonome (Drums)

Rui Kamishiro (Synths)

Three people who have given up on their dreams join a girl who reaches for the faint remnants of hers.

Their SEKAI is the Park SEKAI. Miku and Len are the first to appear there.

Forever Dream!

Kanade Yoisaki

Saki Tenma

Airi Momoi

Touya Aoyagi

An unconventional idol group that aims to save someone with their performances.

Their SEKAI is the Stage SEKAI. Rin is the first to appear there.

(FD!'s Stage SEKAI is significantly different from MMJ!'S Stage SEKAI, they just share a name and a basic concept [a stage]).

AURORA

Tsukasa Tenma (Composer)

Honami Mochizuki

Shizuku Hinomori

Mafuyu Asahina (Lyricist)

An unassuming group of street musicians that took Vivid Street by storm overnight.

Their SEKAI is the Wonderland SEKAI. This SEKAI contains only Tsukasa's feelings. Miku and KAITO have been there a long time.

The Phoenix's Castle of Ashes and Ressurection

Kohane Azusawa (Scriptwriter)

Emu Ootori (Lead actress)

Ena Shinonome (Set, makeup, and costume design)

Shiho Hinomori (Director)

A theater troupe that is keeping the magic of a theme park's oldest stage alive.

Their SEKAI is the Castle SEKAI. Luka is the first to appear there.

day.light

Minori Hanasato (Illustrator)

An Shiraishi (Lyricist)

Nene Kusanagi (Composer)

Mizuki Akiyama (MV Editor)

An online music group that mourns impossible dreams.

Their SEKAI is the Abandoned Livehouse SEKAI. MEIKO is the first to appear there.

(I know I'm bad at naming units, but I tried my best... some of these names may be subject to change in the future)

So now that we have the basic mechanics of the AU laid out...

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS ACCOUNT?

This account is basically how information about the Vertical SEKAI AU will be distributed. It is basically an ask blog.

You can either ask questions to me on this blog directly, or you can ask questions to the characters in the AU, and in that case, I will try to respond as in character as possible.

In Vertical SEKAI AU canon, these questions are given to the characters (when addressed to them) in the form of fragments of feelings that float around their SEKAIs (similarly to how after lives work in canon). This means that in character questions can only be asked to characters who have access to a SEKAI, so... sorry, NPC enjoyers (although I'll still answer questions about them myself)!

Tags on this blog will be sorted as follows:

#vertical sekai au as a general tag for the AU.

#oc ask for questions directed towards the Project SEKAI OCs.

#cr ask for questions directed towards me, the creator of this AU.

#non ask for posts that aren't asks. This is for original content I make and upload of my own will, in other words.

I will add more sections to this post in the future if any frequently asked questions come up. Thank you for reading!

*update 3/6/2025: re:birth's name has been changed to re:(in)carnation

[sinisterexaggerator]

Uncharted Territory

Hunter x Gen! Reader

Warnings: None. Fluff and a kiss. A little bit of angst in relation to wartime and heartfelt goodbyes.

686 words

Notes: I decided to write a series of "goodbye" ficlets where the reader takes / removes something from each of CF99 as they part ways.

Crosshair || Echo || Wrecker || Tech

---

War was rampant; your situation was not special, yet guardian angels had been delivered to your doorstep. They were clones, though unique in comparison to all the others, tools of the Republic who had come to save the day.

Even so, their stay was short. You had offered them your home and an open hearth. The leader of the pack had expressed his gratitude for your hospitality, those men who had been stationed on your planet the last few weeks finally packing up their things in preparation to vacate your humble village.

Hunter came for one last visit, alone, wanting to privately address you and the time you had spent together. He was used to hard goodbyes, though this was uncharted territory.

You were sure he could hear the pounding of your heart, the stoic sergeant pausing before your open door. Managing to keep your grace, you ushered him inside, somehow fighting off the deep-seated ache that had taken root behind your ribs.

“Off so soon?” you asked, attempting to relieve a bit of tension, knowing good and well he had come to bid you a fond farewell. You were not sure your eyes would ever again meet his, so warm and brown, taking this time to commit to memory his tawny, tatted face.

“Unfortunately,” Hunter replied, making a motion with his hand. “We have to be on our way,” he stated, bringing attention to the fact he did not have much time to spare.

You would sigh, giving him the best smile you could muster. You were easily betrayed by your emotions, stepping forward toward the man who carefully studied your every move.

“You could always stay,” you proposed, knowing he would never leave his squad behind. It was wishful thinking, even if naïve to entertain.

“I can’t,” he breathed. He did not enjoy having to disappoint you. “Listen—” he started, but you would interrupt him by leaning forward to undo the knot of his bandana.

“One more time?” you asked; Hunter only nodded. Gently, you sifted your fingers through his chestnut locks.

Hunter closed his eyes, letting the sensation overwhelm him, nerve-endings tingling by way of your gentle caress. Plush lips parted as you ran the full course of his curls, this action repeated thrice when your hand finally came to rest along the bend of his strong jaw.

He would open them again just as you kissed him, settling into the soft flesh of your lips. He scooped you forward, pressing your body against his, firm and strong, and clad in that damned armor.

You surrendered in totality, sweetly moaning this clone’s name. “Hunter.”

As if ravenous, his tongue found yours, his embrace enveloping your form. He was a soldier; he was destined for battle. You could only give him this small reprieve.

And yet, it was too much, Hunter pulling back to keep himself in check. Everything about this felt too good, too right. It had to end before it could properly begin; he would be unable to find the motivation to leave this place or your cozy house.

You felt a brush against your other hand; Hunter softly squeezed your fingers around the bit of fabric in your possession. “You can keep it,” he offered, though you could only smile again.

You shook your head and moved to refit the bandana to its rightful place; you cinched the back and stood a pace away, admiring your work - more than that. He was worthy, a hero among his kind.

“No,” you started, “I have all I need to remember you by,” you promised, lightly resting your hand atop your chest.

Hunter’s own smile was subdued in return, bittersweet. “Stay safe; make sure I don’t have to rescue you again,” he playfully asserted.

“Don’t give me any ideas,” you muttered, gifting to him one final kiss; the feeling lingered, dying slowly, Hunter trusting that you would be all right.

Nothing more was to transpire. With that, he turned to rejoin his squad. Even if he was planning to depart from your muggy, Mid Rim world, Hunter would never leave your heart.

[considerablecolors]

⚠️ SPOILERS FOR S4 & DISCUSSION OF SA ⚠️

hey so umm THEY NEVER ADDRESSED ALLISON TRYING TO ASSAULT LUTHER IN S3 WHAT HAPPENED HELLO. I KEPT WAITING WITH BATED BREATH TO SEE HOW THEY COULD POSSIBLY ADDRESS THAT TOPIC WITHOUT FUMBLING IT AND THE ANSWER WAS JUST. TO NOT EVEN TRY. I GUESS.

"everyone in the family is mad at me because i changed the timeline" ok yeah sure but I CAN THINK OF ANOTHER REASON TO BE MAD

and before anyone says any shit this is 100% not an excuse to be racist and sexist or to hold allison to different standards than your favorite white male characters. part of what made that scene in season 3 so disturbing to me was the fact that the writers chose to have the only black woman main character in the show do that to a white man. she's one of two women in the core siblings cast at this point. she's also a character that initially, while prone to making mistakes and abusing her powers, always loved her family. in fact, her love for viktor and insistence on not giving up on him even when he was hurting the others was one of the main themes of the first season.

why did we have her do that of all people. why did we have anyone do that at all. it was completely unnecessary to do (and to SHOW ON SCREEN) but to have the gall to do... that... and then not even address it and have allison and luther act completely normally to each other...

ALSO UM. luther canonically not remembering his first time having sex because he was under influence, getting mind controlled by his sister to almost get sexually assaulted, and then becoming a stripper despite showing basically no interest in the actual aspects of it... girl am i going crazy or is this not a coincidence, in a competently handled show this could be an exploration of the way sa victims will end up sexualizing themselves but no. instead we get jokes about him wearing thongs 24/7 and A FLASHBACK TO HIM AND HIS SISTER THAT TRIED TO ASSAULT HIM DANCING TOGETHER LIKE THAT'S CUTE. HELLO. ARE YOU THERE LITTLE GIRL ON A BICYCLE IT'S ME I JUST WANNA TALK.

also here's the deal. luther is also not perfect at all. none of the siblings are, that's the point, but specifically, luther was incredibly shitty and abusive to viktor in season one. but the show took the time to properly address it, have characters act differently towards each other as a result, have luther explicitly apologize to who he hurt and show genuine remorse, and throughout the next three seasons they took time to have him make up for it.

allison didn't get that chance, and that leaves such a bad taste in my mouth, and not even in the context of the show itself as much as the real life implications. im white, so i can't really give much of a genuine perspective and may be looking into things too deeply, but... the fact that allison consistently tends to be one of the most villainized characters in the show and portrayed specifically as manipulative and abusive and selfish... as the only black woman in the show since season 1 (unless i am forgetting someone)... feels so so so gross. (also having ray leave her and her child offscreen like come the fuck on)

everyone is talking about the treatment of five's character lately (and RIGHTFULLY so, believe me), but... allison AND luther i am sorry i am so so sorry they did this to y'all omg

[percysfirstwife]

Percabeth is Toxic and we need to talk about it.

——————————————

Okay, I know this is a hot take, but hear me out. Everyone hypes up Percabeth as this “perfect ship,” but if you actually look at their dynamic, there are some serious red flags.

First off, Annabeth constantly belittles Percy. From the moment they meet, she’s calling him “Seaweed Brain” and acting like he’s some clueless idiot. And yeah, sure, it’s supposed to be “playful banter,” but when you actually break it down, it’s just straight-up condescending. Percy struggles with school because of his ADHD and dyslexia, and instead of supporting him, Annabeth makes fun of him for not knowing basic mythology. Imagine if the roles were reversed—if Percy was the one making fun of Annabeth for not understanding something? People would lose their minds.

Then there’s the possessiveness. Annabeth constantly gets jealous whenever another girl so much as looks at Percy. Remember how she acted toward Rachel? Or Calypso? Instead of trusting Percy (who, by the way, has never shown any interest in cheating), she gets defensive and hostile. Like, girl, if you can’t trust him, why are you even dating him? Relationships are supposed to be built on trust, not constant jealousy and insecurity.

And don’t even get me started on how much pressure she puts on Percy. In Mark of Athena, she literally tells him, “You’re not going to let me fall” while they’re hanging off a freaking cliff. Like, I get that it’s meant to be emotional and romantic, but think about what that actually means. She’s basically saying, “If I die, it’s your fault.” That’s so much pressure to put on someone, especially when Percy already carries the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Also, let’s not ignore how Annabeth prioritizes her pride over Percy’s well-being. The whole reason they nearly died in Battle of the Labyrinth? Because Annabeth refused to listen to Percy about Quintus/Daedalus. And when Percy does things for her, like taking on the burden of holding up the sky in Titan’s Curse, she still acts like he’s somehow in the wrong. Like, girl, he’s literally risking his life for you. Maybe say thank you?

And before anyone comes at me with “But they love each other!!!”—toxic relationships don’t stop being toxic just because the people involved love each other. Percy and Annabeth have moments of genuine care, but that doesn’t erase the unhealthy aspects of their dynamic. A relationship shouldn’t be built on belittling, guilt-tripping, and jealousy. We need to stop romanticizing Percabeth as some flawless power couple when, in reality, there are so many issues that never get properly addressed.

At the end of the day, shipping is personal, and you can like what you like. But let’s stop acting like Percabeth is some perfect, untouchable ship when it has major red flags that would be called out in any real relationship.

1. Verbal and Emotional Abuse

One of the biggest red flags in Percabeth is the way Annabeth constantly puts Percy down. I know people love the “Seaweed Brain” nickname, but when you actually look at how often she dismisses his intelligence and treats him like he’s dumb, it’s not cute—it’s demeaning. Percy already struggles with ADHD and dyslexia, yet instead of supporting him, she mocks him for not knowing things as quickly as she does.

And it’s not just the name-calling. She gaslights him, too. Remember in Battle of the Labyrinth when Percy tells her he doesn’t trust Quintus, and she completely invalidates his concerns? Turns out Percy was right, and her stubbornness almost got them killed. But does she ever admit she was wrong? Nope. That’s a pattern in their relationship—Annabeth refuses to acknowledge Percy’s feelings or opinions unless they align with hers.

2. Possessiveness and Jealousy (Aka, Controlling Behavior)

Annabeth has a major jealousy problem, and that’s not a cute or romantic trait. She was downright hostile to Rachel Dare, who was literally just trying to help Percy and had no romantic interest in him at the time. And when Calypso showed kindness to Percy? Instead of trusting him (even though he gave her zero reason to doubt him), Annabeth immediately hated Calypso. This is controlling behavior. A healthy relationship is built on trust, but Annabeth acts like Percy is hers and no other girl is allowed to be close to him.

And let’s talk about the way she expects Percy to put her first, no matter what. Remember when Hera wiped Percy’s memories in Son of Neptune? Annabeth was furious at him for “forgetting her” as if he had any control over it. Instead of supporting him while he was going through literal amnesia, she made it about her feelings.

3. Unrealistic Emotional Burden (Guilt-Tripping and Pressure)

Annabeth puts so much emotional weight on Percy. That moment in Mark of Athena where she says, “You’re not going to let me fall” while she’s dangling over the pit? That wasn’t just a dramatic moment—it was manipulative. If Percy did let go (which, let’s be real, was a very real possibility in that situation), imagine the guilt that would’ve haunted him forever. Instead of saying, “I love you” or “I trust you,” she puts the responsibility for her survival entirely on him. That’s not romantic; that’s emotional manipulation.

And it’s not just that one moment. Every time Annabeth refuses to apologize when she’s wrong, every time she expects Percy to put her needs above his own, every time she makes him feel like he has to “prove” himself to her—it all adds up. Relationships should be equal, but in Percabeth, Percy is constantly the one giving while Annabeth is the one demanding.

So, Why Do People Romanticize This?

A lot of people see Percabeth as the “ultimate power couple,” but in reality, their relationship is full of toxic patterns that would be red flags in real life. If Percy were the one constantly belittling Annabeth, making her feel guilty, and getting jealous over every guy she talked to, people would call it out as abusive. But because Annabeth is the one doing it, people excuse it as “strong-willed” or “just how she is.”

At the end of the day, a relationship shouldn’t be built on power struggles, possessiveness, and guilt-tripping. Percy deserves better—someone who respects him, trusts him, and supports him without tearing him down in the process.

It’s time we stop glorifying Percabeth and start acknowledging the real issues in their relationship.

The Underwater Kiss: Why It’s Not Cute

So, the way this kiss is described is… weird. Percy literally says that Annabeth “grunts” and “whimpers” when he kisses her. Not exactly the reaction you’d expect from someone who is enthusiastically kissing back, right? Those are not words typically associated with mutual passion—they sound more like someone being caught off guard or even uncomfortable.

And it’s not just the wording that’s off. Let’s talk about the circumstances. Percy literally just survived a war, Kronos has been defeated, and they’re at the bottom of the lake—alone. Annabeth has never been physically affectionate toward him before this moment, and yet, suddenly, she’s all over him? That’s not love—that’s emotional whiplash. It reads less like a natural progression of their relationship and more like Annabeth finally “allowing” herself to claim Percy now that she’s sure she won’t lose him.

What’s worse is that Percy describes feeling confused by her reaction. He even mentions that he doesn’t fully understand what she’s feeling in that moment. If the person receiving the kiss is questioning whether their partner wants to be kissing them, that’s a problem. Mutual affection should be clear, not ambiguous.

Why Is This Never Addressed?

If this scene were written with the roles reversed—if Annabeth was the one describing Percy as grunting and whimpering while he kissed her—people would call it out immediately. But because it’s Annabeth, people just brush past it like it’s normal. The reality is, this moment reads as possessive, not romantic. It’s like Annabeth is staking her claim on Percy rather than sharing an intimate, affectionate moment with him.

And this isn’t the only time their relationship has weird power dynamics. Annabeth constantly controls the pace of their relationship, only showing affection when she feels like it, while Percy is left constantly guessing how she feels. That’s an unfair and emotionally draining position to put him in.

Final Thoughts: This Ship Is Not Goals

The more you analyze Percabeth, the more obvious it becomes that their relationship is not as healthy as people make it out to be. The way their first real kiss is written—ambiguous, awkward, and full of weird power dynamics—is just one example of the larger toxicity in their relationship. Percy deserves someone who makes their feelings for him clear and doesn’t treat love like a power struggle.

So yeah, maybe it’s time we stop calling Percabeth the “ultimate OTP” and start asking why we’re romanticizing a relationship with so many red flags.

Again this is MY. Opinion and I know people are going to start hating on me for my opinion, and I can’t say I’m sorry if this is what I truly think.

Have a nice

Day

Night

Evening

Morning

Afternoon

Noon

🤍✨🪞

[kiwinatorwaffles]

hmm. i'm usually not one to post about these topics but i think i've gathered enough thoughts on wilbur's abysmal apology towards shelby to form a cohesive message.

WARNING: the rest of the post will discuss abuse and also a lot of my personal experiences as someone who has hurt other people in the past. obviously not to the extent that wilbur has, but please move on it you don’t want to see it. thank you and stay safe.

being stuck in a hard place, whether it be living conditions, mental conditions, or any other factor, will naturally hurt the person going through those tough times. and hurt people hurt people. but i think there's a pretty Big Fucking Difference between doing bad things in the past and actually owning up to your actions after regretting it VS doing bad things in the past and turning a blind eye against those you've hurt to wallow in your own ego and misery.

i’ve experienced my fair share of abusive friendships, but when i was fifteen, i WAS the toxic friend. (yes, i’m aroace. friendships aren’t the same as a romantic relationship but they can be just as strong. i value my platonic bonds as much as allos value their marriages or date partners.) i was going through a huge depressive episode. it was tough for me, but during that time, i made fun of my friends' interests to their faces because i couldn't personally understand it, and i also vagueposted about the little things they did that ticked me off right where they could see it. it got to the point where they had to make a separate group chat to talk about their interests where i wouldn’t see it. i hurt all of them, and it ended in them confronting me about my actions. they put me in my place and called me out for my horrible attitude.

after seeing my friends' perspectives, i realized just how awful i was to them and sincerely apologized to each of them. i recognized their feelings towards my actions and didn't make excuses. even though i was going through a hard time myself, my abuse towards them was absolutely NOT justified. as i recovered, i made sure not to hurt them any more, and years later, our friendships are still going strong.

my experiences aren't nearly as extreme as what wilbur has done to shelby, but i think it's pretty fucking clear that his apology was flaming dog shit served on a trash dump. like, i was a fifteen year old. he's a Grown Ass Man with a big platform. he dug his own grave by talking about himself first instead of actually addressing his mistreatment of shelby first and foremost. he didn't even MENTION shelby by name. talking about his "strides to betterment" without even directing his apology towards the person he actually hurt is just pathetic. that whole spiel about how he "thought" the whole exchange was consensual is fucking wild. he didn't even apologize for that; he moved on right afterwards.

we can infer that wilbur has been struggling with being a person who has done bad things through his songs and lovejoy's music. he might have been going through a hard time and maybe even regretted it (though his apology really makes it seem like he's just doing it for damage control), that STILL doesn't validate any hurt he might have caused. the least he could’ve done is to sincerely apologize to shelby, even if she didn’t accept it. but he couldn’t even do that.

it's just disappointing that, as someone who has a platform of millions of followers, he displayed an act of shallowness. in the end, his attempt at sincerity fell flat and benefited no one, especially not the people he abused. if he had properly apologized, even if his apology wasn't accepted, it would've shown people in a similar situation how to apologize to the people they hurt in the past in a mature and sincere way.

so, yeah. FUCK wilbur soot. focus not on the fact that he has done bad, but that the one he abused didn’t get a proper apology. support shelby and other victims of abuse. listen to their experiences and spread awareness of these cautions. uplift their voices, not his.

for those who have connected to his and lovejoy's music that have gone through a similar dark time in their lives, i also extend my heart out to you. it must also be hard to see someone who reflected your struggles of betterment reveal himself to be someone who really hasn't gotten better at all.

but you don’t have to be like him. you don’t need to follow in his steps as long as you own up to your mistakes, even if you can’t talk to those you hurt anymore. in the end, what matters most is that you apologize in a sincere way and make sure you don’t repeat those mistakes going forward.

you CAN get better. if anything just so spite that british boy’s ass

thank you. kiwi out ✌️

[abigailkendallwrites]

WINGLEADER: A Xaden Riorson POV Fanfiction

CHAPTER 6

Imogen and I walk along the Iakobos River, our steps near silent as we snake our way through the reedy grass to the cluster of large oaks at the bank.

We stop at the roots of one of the larger trees and Imogen pulls off her hood to give me a long look.

She leans in towards me, voice quiet. “Can you please stop giving me the silent treatment?”

When I don't respond, she turns her head to look me in the eyes, “Xaden, seriously. You weren’t there, she was talking about my parents being murdered. Am I supposed to just let trash like her get away with that? It’s dis—” I lift my hand to silence her. “Don’t finish that sentence, Imogen.” I ground out, my anger rising at the insult.

Hurt and confusion flash across her face and I feel a twinge of guilt. She doesn’t know that with every look, every confrontation, every day that goes by where Violet is in my presence, my self control slips a little more.

“The rest are close.” Sgaeyl says from her position in the sky. 

My eyes lift, “We can discuss this in front of everyone. It’s a message for all of you.”

The two of us turn towards the line of trees as the rest of the group converge beneath the giant oak.

My shadows are comfortable here, they feel cool against my skin. As they unravel, my senses extend along every tendril. I can hear every small nocturne creature and subtle wind.

I can also hear the soft, quick breathing above me. What Violet Sorrengail is doing out here, is a question I’d love to know the answer to. But it can wait. This moment feels like another opportunity to push her and see which way she falls.

There are small introductions between everyone, most of them are known, but some of the first-years are from smaller families who haven’t been properly acquainted with everyone.

There’s a palpable anxiety coursing through the younger cadets. I get it, but it’s time to push it to the side, step up, and do their jobs. We protect each other. Panic isn't an option. 

Garrick is angsty about the losses this week. We all are. Our numbers are small enough as is. 

Garrick addresses the group, his eyes hard, “We’ve already lost Sutherland and Luperco, that’s just how it is your first year, but we can’t afford to lose a single one of us. Division amongst ourselves will be your greatest weakness.”

There’s soft rustling in the branches above as Violet moves from branch to branch.

Imogen turns to the first years, “Like it or not, we’re going to have to stick together if you want to survive until graduation.”

“And if they find out we’re meeting?” One of the younger girls, Gwyn, asks the group.

The fear is clear on all of their faces. They’ve all been scared for too long. But that’s what we’re here to change.

I need to inspire courage, but also remind them that we’re confident in the system we’ve created.

And remind them who they’ll be answering to if things get out of hand.

I cross my arms and lean against the tree, keenly aware of Violet, now directly above me.

“We’ve done this for two years and they’ve never found out.” My eyes scan the group, “they’re not going to unless one of you tells. And if you tell,” I say, raising a brow, “I’ll know. Like Garrick said, we’ve already lost two first-years to their own negligence. There are only forty-one of us in the Riders Quadrant, and we don’t want to lose any of you, but we will if you don’t help yourselves. The odds are always stacked against us, and trust me, every other Navarrian in the quadrant will look for reasons to call you a traitor or force you to fail.”

There’s no use in feeding them bullshit if their lives are on the line.

“How many of you are getting your asses handed to you in hand-to-hand?”

Four first-years raise their hands.

Four.

“Shit.” I exhale, pinching the bridge of my nose. This is not good. After the bargain was made a few of us older kids made sure there were systems in place. Training regimens were created. Academic Curriculums, and tests that mimicked what they’ll face upon entering the quadrant. Tools to ensure every serpartist’s kid was well equipped before they put a single toe on the parapet.

The headache is back.

Garrick, always a step ahead, says, “I’ll teach them.”

After the amount of training, and natural skill he’s had, Garrick’s fighting is instinctual. Good for winning fights, not great for trying to teach someone.

I look at Garrick and shake my head, “You’re our best fighter–” 

I’m interrupted by Bodhi, “ You’re our best fighter.”

“Dirtiest fighter, maybe,” Imogen corrects him with a laugh.

There’s some laughter, and even a couple smiles from the younger ones.

“Fucking ruthless is more like it,” Garrick says, grinning at me.

I keep my mouth shut and let everyone get it out of their system before moving on.

“Garrick is our best fighter, but Imogen is right up there with him, and she’s a hell of a lot more patient,” If the two of them want to be mouthy then they can do it together. “So the four of you split yourselves up between the two of them for training. A group of three won’t draw any unwanted attention. What else is giving you trouble?” One of the first years, Kieran begins speaking before anyone else, his voice full of anguish,“I can’t do this.” My stomach lurches.

I can’t deal with this right now

“What do you mean?” I ask, my voice going cold.

“I can’t do this! The death. The fighting. Any of it. A guy had his neck snapped right in front of me on assessment day!” The boy's voice is growing more frantic, and every word out of his mouth is filling me with guilt.

“I want to go home!” Kieran continues, “Can you help me with that ?”

Everyone turns to look at me.

I did this to them.

Bile rises to the back of my throat.

No, this was the only way I could save every person in front of me right now.

I didn’t have a choice.

And neither does he.

I swallow, frustration bubbling up to the surface.

We don’t have time to comfort and coddle. Our goal is to survive. Everything else is an afterthought.

“No,” I say, shrugging my shoulders, feigning indifference.“You’re not going to make it. Best accept it now and not take up more of my time.”

My words come out harsher than intended, but I mean them nonetheless 

The color drains from Kieran’s face, and his thin frame begins shaking as my words hit him.

Bodhi turns to look at me, incredulity written on his face. “That was a little harsh, cousin.”

“What do you want me to say, Bodhi? I can’t save everyone, especially not someone who isn’t willing to work to save themselves.” I keep my voice calm, even as the guilt tries to press itself in on me.

“Damn, Xaden.” Garrick says, that same disbelief lacing his voice. “Way to give a pep talk.”

Did none of them hear me after the parapet? We are not special. We will face blood and horror, and the likely possibility of death. Giving me problems that I can’t solve doesn’t help anyone, it holds us all back. This is just a fact of our reality. 

“If they need a fucking pep talk, then we both know they’re not flying out of the quadrant on graduation day. Let’s get real. I can hold their hands and make them a bunch of bullshit empty promises about everyone making it through if that helps them sleep, but in my experience, the truth is far more valuable.” I turn to look at Kieran, “In war, people die. It’s not glorious like the bards sing about, either. It’s snapped necks and two-hundred-foot falls. There’s nothing romantic about scorched earth or the scent of sulfur.” 

I point to the citadel off in the distance, “This isn’t some fable where everyone makes it out alive. It’s hard, cold, uncaring reality. Not everyone here is going to make it home…to whatever’s left of our homes. And make no mistake, we are at war every time we step foot in the quadrant.” I lean closer to him, and the other first-years in front of me. They need to drill this into their fucking skulls, “So if you won’t get your shit together and fight to live, then no. You’re not going to make it.”

I assess each of them, making sure they’ve heard me loud and clear.

Good. Time to move on.

“Now, someone give me a problem I can actually solve,” I say, this time addressing the whole group.

Aria, one of the first years, speaks up, “Battle Brief.” 

That, I can handle.

She continues, “It’s not that I can’t keep up, but the information…”

Imogen steps in to soften the obvious conflict in Aria’s voice. She leans in, voice gentle “That’s a tough one.”

Some of my irritation with her softens. Imogen’s fearless, and has a nasty temper, but she’s always been a buffer between me and everyone else.

And she’s right, It’s hard to know what we know, and still placate the professors.

I’d speak a bit more freely if I didn’t have a certain someone perched on the branch above me. I'm already sticking my neck out by letting her stay. 

“You learn what they teach you.” I say giving her a pointed look. “Keep what you know but recite whatever they tell you to.” There are several nods, and I feel satisfied that everyone understands what’s at stake if they fuck up.

“Anyone else?” I say, looking up at the moon. It’s shifted considerably since we got here, which means we’re cutting it close. “You’d better ask now. We don’t have all night.”

There’s a heartbeat of silence before someone in the back says, “When do we get to kill Violet Sorrengail?”

My whole body tenses, my heartrate climbing, and I have to clench my jaw to keep from snapping. In the span of a few seconds I’ve become completely possessed. Just a handful of days around her and I’m already losing my mind at the thought of anyone touching her. She’s mine . 

“Yeah, Xaden, When do we get to finally have our revenge?” Imogen says, her voice turning mockingly sweet. 

I am now acutely aware of every fast breath coming from Violet. 

I throw a threatening look at Imogen, “I told you already, the youngest Sorrengail is mine, and I’ll handle her when the time is right.” 

I don’t think I even know what that means right now. There are a lot of ways I’d like to handle– 

No.

That’s not even a thought worth entertaining.

Bodhi decides to be Bodhi and stir the pot, “Didn’t you already learn that lesson, Imogen? What I hear, Aetos has you scrubbing dinner dishes for the next month for using your powers on the mat.”

“Her mother is responsible for the execution of my mom and sister. I should have done more than just snap her shoulder.” Imogen argues, her cheeks flushing in anger.

“Her mom is responsible for the capture of nearly all our parents. Not her daughter.” Garrick looks Imogen in the eyes, “Punishing children for the sins of their parents is the Navarrian way, not Tyrrish.”

This is getting exhausting.

“So we get conscripted because of what our parents did years ago and shoved into this death sentence of a college–”

“In case you didn’t notice, she’s in this same death sentence of a college. Seems like she’s already suffering the same fate.” Garrick says, shutting down Imogen’s argument.

Apparently everyone here needs a reminder of who Violet is in all of this.

“Don’t forget her brother was Brennan Sorrengail. She has just as much reason to hate us as we do her.” I say to Imogen before turning to the first-year, “And I’m not going to tell you again. She’s mine to handle. Anyone feel like arguing?”

No one speaks.

The moon has shifted even closer to the horizon. Time to get these walking headaches out of here and deal with the one above me.“Good. Then get back to bed. And go in threes.”  

The group clears out and I walk towards the citadel, slowly cloaking myself in shadows until I’m invisible in the dark. I can’t help but smirk as I backtrack to the oak tree and slip behind where Violet is currently positioned.

She’s patient. It takes her a good ten minutes before she finally climbs down from her perch and drops to the ground. 

Still cloaked in shadows, I lunge, pulling her tight against my chest. Every place where our bodies connect is buzzing like a live wire, and I resist the impulse to drop her. 

It’s overwhelming, intoxicating, and dammit if I don’t love every second.

“Scream and you die,” I whisper in her ear. I don’t want to let go of her, but I force myself to remove my arm from around her neck.

Before she can even think about retaliating, I’ve replaced my arm with the edge of a dagger. “Fucking Sorrengail.” I snap, pulling back the hood of her cloak to reveal her face.

Fuck. 

I can’t help the way my cheeks heat as she leans her head back to look me in the eyes.

I push my chest against her, forcing her eyes forward before she gets a chance to read the undeniable need on my face.

“How did you know?” She says, her lip curling. For someone who’s convinced I’m going to kill her, she has some bite. “Let me guess,” she continues, “You could smell my perfume. Isn’t that what always gives the heroine away in books?”

Perfume?  

I bend my head toward hers, my lips brushing against her ear.

She’s irritating as hell. And yet here I am, excited that I have her all to myself.

“I command shadows, but sure, it was your perfume that gave you away.” I say sarcastically, my voice barely above a whisper.

A thrill goes up my spine as she gasps. “Your signet is a shadow wielder?”

My lips are still at her ear , “What, Aetos hasn’t warned you not to get caught alone in the dark with me yet?”

My voice sounds rough, even to me, and I resist the urge to put my mouth on her, to bite her ear, kiss her neck. I’m in a fog, consumed by being near her.

My grip loosens a fraction as my concentration slips, and she spins towards me, dagger raised, “Is this how you plan to handle me?”

“Eavesdropping are we?” I ask, brow lifting. 

Seeing her like this, like she was before the parapet, angry and wild, is doing something to me, and I can’t get enough.

I sheath my dagger. “Now I might actually have to kill you.” The cold look in my eyes is in stark contrast to the way my mind is pleading with her.

Please, don’t say anything. 

Because for all my bravado, I don’t know if I have it in me to kill her. I’m worried about what it might do to me. 

It would wreck me.

She backs away, reaching into her cloak to pull out another dagger. 

Despite her uneven footing and awkward defensive stance, Violet with her daggers out, ready for a fight is…

Fuck, It’s hot.

“That stance is really the best you can muster? No wonder Imogen nearly ripped your arm off.” I say, heaving a sigh. I don’t have it in me to kill her but there are several people who do, and will succeed with her defensive position so…lacking.

“I’m more dangerous than I look,” she says, but her cheeks are flushed and her ears have turned pink at the tips, contradicting the anger in her voice.

She’s being cute, and I can’t help but smirk. I like playing with her, “So I see. I’m quaking in my boots.”

Quicker than I would’ve expected she flings both daggers towards me.

And completely misses.

I look at her dully, if not a little disappointed, “You missed.”

“Did I?” She says, reaching for the two other daggers she has tucked into her cloak, “Why don’t you back up a couple steps and test that theory?”

What?

I smooth my face into a mask of irritated boredom, but from the way she’s looking at me, I know she saw the question in my eyes.

My shadows swirl around her ankles, pulling to touch her. I yank them back, hard, smothering my own desire.

My eyes don’t leave Violet’s as I take three steps back until my back hits the tree.

Where the  hilt of each dagger sits perfectly between both sides of my head.

Oh.

Good girl, Violet.

“Tell me again that I missed.” She threatens, flipping the dagger in her hand to hold it by the tip.

I still can’t take my eyes off of her. 

I smile, “Fascinating, you look all frail and breakable, but you’re really a violent little thing, aren’t you?”

I will my shadows into something more concrete, forming them into hands, the slender fingers moving to pluck the daggers from the bark, and drop them into both of my palms.

I’m still smiling at her like a fool. I think I’m going into shock.

My body has completely abandoned my mind, and before I realize what I’m doing, I’m moving towards her, steps slow, “You should show that little trick to Jack Barlowe.”

Violet blinks in surprise, “What?”

She clocks how close we are to each other and raises her dagger.

I’ve done my job a little too well if she thinks my only motivation is to kill her. “The neck-snapping first year who’s very publicly vowed to slaughter you.” I tease, lifting an eyebrow. 

One more step and the tip of her blade is pressed against my middle. I’m still smirking as I reach under her cloak and sheath one of the daggers. 

I lift the other side of her cloak, and the smirk slips off of my face, every ounce of playful banter gone.

Underneath her cloak, her hair is twisted into a loose braid that falls over one shoulder and down past her breast. The silver strands, now exposed to the moonlight, glint as she shifts her head to look up at me.

I can barely breathe for wanting her so badly.

I want to wrap that braid around my wrist and yank her towards me.

For a single heartbeat I’m dumbstruck before I pull myself together and sheath her other dagger. “He’d probably think twice about plotting your murder if you threw a few daggers at his head.”

Violet’s face looks half irritated, half confused, “Because the honor of my murder belongs to you?” My words from earlier play through my head. Mine . “You wanted me dead long before your little club chose my tree to meet under, so I imagine you’ve all but buried me in your mind by now.”

I look at the dagger pressed between us. She looks closer to burying me than the other way around. 

A small shiver of fear courses through me. I’ve made a dangerous gamble in letting her hear all that was said tonight. “Do you plan on telling anyone about my little club ?” 

“No,” She says bluntly.

I can feel my eyebrows knit together. The answer I was hoping for, but not necessarily the one I was expecting. “Why not?” I ask. My head tilts to the side as I examine this girl in front of me, so different than I had assumed. “It’s illegal for the children of separatists officers to assemble in—”

“Groups larger than three,” Smart little thing.

She continues, “I’m well aware. I’ve lived at Basgiath longer than you.” Arrogant little thing too.

“And you’re not going to run off to Mommy, or your precious little Dain, and tell them we’ve been assembling? ” I can’t help the contempt that drips off my tongue at the thought of Dain. Of his hands on her face, searching through her memories.

“You were helping them. I don’t see why that should be punished.” 

I give her an assessing glare.

She looks thoughtful, her mind turned inward for a beat before her eyes refocus on mine, “I’m not going to tell.”

I can’t get my hopes up, but they’re soaring anyways.

Her defenses are slipping away, rotating back to a familiar look of fear.

I don’t want her to be scared of me.

She needs to be scared of me. She should want nothing to do with me. 

If I can just manage enough self restraint to put some distance between the two of us.

“Interesting. We’ll see if you keep your word, and if you do, then unfortunately, it looks like I owe you a favor.” I say, my thoughts of staying away are already completely abandoned.

I turn to go and she calls after me, “You’re not going to handle me?”

“Not tonight!” I yell over my shoulder, a smirk on my face.

She makes an indignant sound, “What are you waiting for?”

Gods I can’t help but play with her, “It’s no fun if you expect it. Now, get back to bed before your wingleader realizes you’re out after curfew.”

“What?” She almost shrieks, voice full of confusion.

 I start to pull my shadows around me, cloaking me from view, but not before I hear her shout, “ You’re my wingleader!”

Yes the hell I am. 

In the shadows my smirk has bloomed into a fierce grin.

[wc-confessions]

As someone who’s experienced and gotten mental trauma from being verbally bullied and/or verbally peer abused in my life-

I honestly dislike how bullying and/or peer abuse is handled in Warrior Cats.

I’ll list some examples here. Please note though that some bits of the series that I mention here I have NOT completely finished reading and/or fully remember, with those parts being filled in from the fandom and/or wiki, so I apologize if I mention any information here in a incorrect and/or wrong way.

Example One: Tallstar’s Revenge

Shrewpaw taunts Tallpaw and calls him “Wormpaw” in order to take fun of Tallpaw’s heritage of his parents being tunnelers. He also unsheathed his claws once while training with Tallpaw as well.

And after Sandgorse - Tallpaw’s father - dies, and tries to go into the tunnels due to the fact that Tallpaw’s father was $h!tty towards him because Tallpaw’s training to be in a Moor runner instead of a tunneler-

Shrewpaw literally says to Tallpaw - a grieving, mentally unwell cat - that literally no one would love or miss him if he died or was gone.

Like- I know that Shrewpaw was also grieving his mother, and probably blamed Tallpaw for death, but’s that’s NO excuse for him to say that to Tallpaw, especially since Shrewpaw himself know the crushing grief and anger of losing a parent.

Your grief does NOT excuse your shitty actions and/or willingly stating bad and harmful $h!t towards others.

But for some reason, instead of the narrative of the book as something not excusable and/or at least putting weight on it to the point that Shrewpaw acknowledges how bad he was to Tallpaw and gradually work his way into being a better person (towards Tallpaw)-

The book instead makes him somewhat like “What? Huh?? I was only teasing you. I didn’t know you were hurt by my bad treatment towards you! :(”

And the book just went along with it and Talltail just believed that awful excuse and just forgave him for that? For some reason??

Example Two: Fire and Ice, and Into the Wild

Sandpaw was a rude bully to Firepaw, insulting and talking badly about him and being xenophobic towards him.

That is until after Fireheart saves her life within Fire and Ice, and Sandstorm grows as a character and treats him nicely after that traumatic and/or mind-changing event occurred.

And it, indeed, does make sense for her character, since she probably internalized and believed the xenophobia within the clans and her viewing Fireheart in a different light after literally saving her life (despite how $h!tty she was him), so her changing her behavior towards him does make sense, and I like that she grew as a person and/or character from that experience.

However, despite this, it does NOT excuse her behavior towards Fireheart when he was a apprentice, and please correct me if I’m wrong about this, but despite how bad she treated Fireheart in the past, he just…forgives her quite quickly and calmly within Fire and Ice after she treats him kindly?

Because I would honestly like it if Fireheart was still quite at least still a bit bitter towards the Sandstorm past treatment towards him, to the point that has to process his disliking of her and/or Sandstorm gradually proves that she’s a better person towards him before they’re chill hanging out with each other.

Example Three: Leopardstar’s Honor

And the fact that Leopardpaw literally gained TRAUMA from Skypaw nearly DROWNING her, to the point that Leopardpaw couldn’t even SWIM in the WATER without being reminded of the fear and pain she felt (possibly nearing drowning) when Skypaw suddenly pushed her head underwater.

And instead of Leopardpaw feeling connected to her mentor to the point that she reveals this traumatic event that occurred and was caused by Skypaw with Skypaw being rightfully punished and/or condoned for it, and her mentor and Sunpaw helping Leopardpaw learn to process and/or overcome that trauma that Skypaw gave her-

Skypaw NEVER gets punished or at least properly addressed for what she did to Leopardpaw, and her mentor - or at least her friend - does NOT learn about what happened to Leopardpaw, resulting in them to believe that she has a average cat dislike for water instead of a fear of water from a TRAUMATIC EVENT that occurred to Leopardpaw.

And while yes, while I suppose there’s a chance that this is probably something that’s a more realistic and/or capable thing to occur within real life-

The fact that this trauma that Skypaw caused Leopardpaw to have wasn’t properly addressed and/or dealt with in a way that honestly doesn’t feel good written honestly…quite irks me a bit.

Of course, I’m NOT surprised that the Erins weren’t able to treat this subject good and/or with proper care (and probably with the most of the serious subjects that they put into their writing)-

I still honestly can’t help but feel quite irritated and/or upset about it, especially when such a sensitive and/or serious subject (that’s already undermined and improperly addressed as h*ll) within a book series whose readers are or at least includes literal CHILDREN isn’t properly treated and/or presented that good (or even decent.)

Please note once again that my knowledge of these parts within the series may not be complete and/or as accurate as they should be, so if I stated or mentioned anything wrong and/or incorrect correct here.

I’m so sorry if I didn’t properly word and write anything well within this confession either, I’m wrote this with zero sleep yet at around 2:15 am - 3:00 am. I’m also sorry if I overreacted to some of the information within this confession as well.

Thank you for reading this rant, and I hope that you have a good day and/or night today.

.

[ninainthetardis]

Other things that I absolutely despise in the Oak/Wren situation:

- Oak was fine before she came along and made him feel so horrible that he started to question whether his own family really loved him or he somehow compelled them to feel that love and sense of protection towards him. I thought the point of love is that the other person truly sees you and makes you feel accepted the way you are, not pushing you to doubt your worth or make you feel awful about yourself.

Oak was there: "I see you, you're not a monster, you're not good either but I love you anyway and I trust you even if you imprisoned me". And meanwhile, she was there: "your love means nothing, I can't trust your feelings, any word you say is a lie even if you can't properly lie. You are awful" And then she proceeds in attempting his family's murder (while he was trying to save hers).

Basically, she thought of herself as unlovable, so she treated him like shit and at the same time, she wanted him to feel like shit and to feel unlovable as well. And Oak was there: "I know she didn't mean to hurt me, but that stings". I think she meant it, dude. Look how she's been treating you since... well, day 1.

- Suren being problematic is never addressed in any way, except in those two lines she wrote in the letter she left for Oak at the end of the book, before fleeing like a coward. Such an issue deserved more focus. And surely not an endgame for them.

And even before that, when she said she was wrong for imprisoning him, she then immediately proceeded by accusing him of abandoning her, manipulating him into believing that him, as a KID, took away from her the chance to grow up in Elfhame. When he did all he could, at that age, to help her. One moment, Oak was thinking that he had indeed talked to Jude to help her, the next he was blaming himself for not knowing Suren could not go back to her human house. Not doing enough. As if she actually talked to him about anything at that time.

When did Suren actually prove herself sorry for all she put him through? Two sentences are not enough. And Oak is all "it's OK I forgive you" while she makes him feel horrible even for the tiniest of his mistakes.

She constantly guilt trips him to deminish her own wrongdoings.

She is so self-centered that she doesn't even consider that other people - amongst those who live in Faerie at least - have been through horrible things, too, like she did. She has a difficult past. Hence, she feels entitled to give everyone hell. To put Oak through hell. The one person who's always cared about her. This is so awful.

When Vivi used faerie magic on Heather, Jude remarked it was wrong more than once, and even scolded Vivi for doing that. They were not even the main couple, and there's been the right amount of focus on the problematic in their case. Heather left Vivi because of what she did, and then they worked things out. In time.

Heather acknowledged the wrongdoing Vivi did to her. Oak doesn't even realise what Suren did to him. That is a major issue. Cardan and Jude are well aware of the shit they did to each other. Tiernan and Hyacinthe, too. And they all did serious shit to each other, very different from keeping a secret from each other. They worked it through. They worked it through in time, "because they live in Faerie and there are worst wrongdoings there". Because, let's be real, irl none of those couples could've worked things out. And even them, they proved to each other things. In Oak and Suren's case, only Oak proved himself to her. And how are we supposed to accept that when she's the one who did the worst things to the other?

All Suren got was Oak saying that he loved her and wanted to be with her despite everything. He doesn't even fucking resent her for a moment, because she gult tripped him into believing he deserved all of it. That's the classic abuser's manipulation of the victim modus operandi. And this sort of toxic and abusive dynamic is too similar to what happens irl to a lot of people to advance the claim "it's fictional. That's a fantasy novel. They're fairies". It should have all be handled much differently to be acceptable, even if just because it's a fantasy novel about fairies.

[padfootagain]

Where We Kept Our Magic (IV)

How We Parted

Hello lovelies! Here is a new part for my Muggle!Reader AU!! I hope you like this new scene, tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Sirius Black x Muggle!Reader

Warnings: it’s a little sad :(

Summary: You and Sirius meet when you’re still young, and yet you fall head over heels for each other. But everything gets complicated when you learn that Sirius is a Wizard! Now, your whole world has to be reimagined. -This series is made of many independent snippets taken from Sirius and Muggle!Reader’s lovestory –

Word Count : 1792

The weather isn’t so warm anymore. September is upon you and with it, a cool breeze has settled over London. The trees remain green and lush for now, but you know they will soon colour themselves in warmer tones, before letting their leaves fall.

Sirius is lying in the grass, by the Serpentine. His head on your laps, he lets you run your fingers through his hair, heaves a content sigh at the soothing feeling. It’s a quiet afternoon, or perhaps it’s only getting late, and families are home already. But Sirius has no intention to move. After all, you’re here, with your fingers in his hair, why would he want to leave?

Besides, tomorrow morning, he’ll go King’s Cross station, run through a wall and board the Hogwarts Express. And then he’ll be off, just like that. Just like that…

He doesn’t see how this can work. How can he even write to you? He can’t use an owl… Euphemia and Fleamont have offered to go the post office, but Sirius is reluctant. He doesn’t want to bother them…

Still, he doesn’t want this to end. He likes you. An awful lot. Actually, he’s starting to truly fall for you, all the way down towards love, but he can’t bring himself to say it out loud or to even think of the word. It’s too hard for him. After living with his family, love is too close to hatred for him to look at you and think of that word. After all, there isn’t an ounce of hatred in his heart targeted towards you.

Anyway, this is not the point. The point is that he’s about to leave for Scotland, and you won’t. The point is that he has no clue how to contact your properly. He’s given you a fake address that will lead to the Potters’ house so you can write to him, but again, he doesn’t want to bother them. He bothers them enough already…

“What’s going in this busy head of yours, honey?”

Honey. You’ve started calling him that about three weeks ago, and he adores it. It sounds so sweet, so much like you in your yellow sundress. So unlike him, in his dark t-shirt and heavy boots. So unlike him, with his name tainted with night…

Sirius merely hums in response, closing his eyes again, the leaves of the oak tree you’re leaning against disappearing beyond his eyelids. You don’t let him get away with it so easily though, he’s almost endeared by it. He would have been, any other day, if the wait of separation wasn’t so heavy on his heart today.

“Sirius? You’re alright?”

He shrugs. He knows he’ll give up in a few seconds, your fingers are too gentle as they get lost in his hair, your warmth too soothing.

He looks up at you again. He’s put his leather jacket on your shoulders about half an hour ago, before he lied down, because he noticed you were shivering. You look adorable. You look beautiful. He never wants this to end. He wants to keep his jacket on your shoulders forever…

“Just… a little sad that I’m leaving,” he admits. “Which is weird, cause I’ve always been eager to go to Hogwarts before.”

You nod, a small smile on your lips.

“Is it because of me?”

“Who else could it be? Certainly not because of Jackie, she’s insufferable.”

“You like her. And she likes you too.”

He can’t refrain a smile at that. He’s surprised when one of your hands leaves his hair to reach for his fingers instead.

“I don’t want us to break up,” you admitted, earnest and suddenly vulnerable, perhaps more so than what you intended.

“Me neither.”

“I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait for you to come back. It’s only a few months before Christmas. Besides, I’ll write to you, daily if you miss me too much.”

Your tone is teasing, but Sirius winces, and your heart shudders at the sight, a crack runs through the porcelain of it, ready to break altogether.

“You don’t want me to write to you?”

You see Sirius hesitate, and you hate it. And he knows you hate it. It hurts him too.

“I want you to write to me,” he finally answers, after a rather long pause, choosing his words carefully. “But you can’t write directly to my school, it won’t work. And I don’t want to bother the Potters too much…”

Slowly, you nod.

“I see. I understand. Perhaps… not too often?”

Slowly, he nods. He looks worried now, sad even. And he is.

You run your thumb across his knuckles, the tip of your fingers grazing his silver rings, the metal cold against his warm skin.

“They’ve already taken me in after I ran away last summer… I don’t want to be a burden.”

Slowly, you nod. You don’t ask anything, even if Sirius guesses that questions are burning on the tip of your tongue. But you don’t ask. About his family, about why he ran away… you never do. And he’s grateful for it, but sometimes he wonders why you don’t.

Are you afraid? Or simply kind?

He sits up without warning, and his back is almost to you now. He heaves a sigh, putting even more distance between the two of you, and you hate it.

Still, you don’t ask.

His eyes drift towards the river, towards the dirty, muddy water filled with lost feathers. A group of swans swims away, without taking a single look back.

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re okay?”

“Of course.”

A pregnant pause. An expectation. You take him aback with your statement.

“I don’t want you to leave. I’ll miss you.”

The ghost of a smile grazes his lips, he reaches for your hand, but doesn’t turn to you for now.

“I’ll miss you too.”

His hold is a little too tight, you know he’s holding back. You’ve grown used to it. Gently, you splay a hand across his spine, the fabric of his t-shirt soft under your palm despite the dust and the dry grass that have clung to the material here and there.

“Please, don’t hold back,” you ask so gently, Sirius’s eyes fill with tears. “It’s our last afternoon together before Christmas. Don’t hold back. What’s bothering you?”

He clears his throat, the tears gone, replaced by a tightly set jaw.

“You never ask.”

“What do you mean?”

“You never ask about my family.”

You shrug.

“I know that it’s difficult for you to talk about it. I reckon… that you’ll tell me more about it when you’re ready. I don’t want to push you, if you’re not ready.”

At long last, he turns to look at you again, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to say, anyway…

He hesitates before speaking again. Because it sounds silly. He reckons you won’t understand. And it would hurt a lot more than he can admit. But there’s a weight on his heart, and he wants to lift it, even if it can’t last for long.

“I’m going to see my brother at Hogwarts.”

“Regulus?”

He nods.

“I don’t know how I feel about it,” he confesses. “I miss him. But… I also hate him.”

“Do you hate him? Are you simply angry?”

He considers the question. It’s a little too accurate, and he smiles.

“Yeah… I think I’m angry. I’m angry he chose to stay. I’m angry I can’t protect him anymore. I’m angry he doesn’t have the guts to break free. I’m angry he’s uncertain about my parents beliefs.”

“But you still miss him.”

“Yeah… yeah, I miss him.”

He sets his gaze on the river again, lets go of your hand to wrap his arms around his knees.

“The first time I took the train, my mother was so proud. And I both loved it and hated it. And I think… I’m angry because it didn’t really change. I don’t believe in any of the conservative bullshit my parents are so adamant to defend, and I’ll never forgive them for how much they hurt me and my brother. And yet I… every time I get on that train I see my mother’s face beaming at me and looking at me as if I was the most extraordinary thing in the world, and I long for this feeling again.”

He heaves a sigh.

“I want you to write to me. But the Potters… they didn’t have to take me in, and they did. I don’t want them to regret doing that.”

“I’ll write to you once a month. Would that be alright? That’s not too often.”

Slowly, Sirius nods.

“Okay, I’ll wait for your letter, and I’ll reply.”

“Okay.”

He’s surprised when you wrap your arms around him from behind, when you rest your cheek against his shoulder blade. He loves it though. He feels soothed all over again, his busy mind quietened again. The face of Walburga disappears, and the muddy water is back instead, with its white swans almost disappearing now, in the distance.

“Why do I miss them, when I hate them?”

You tighten your hold on him before you answer.

“They raised you. They loved you, even if it hurt. They taught you how it is to be loved first. You have to rewrite that definition, with better people, better examples. But they’re still your family, even if they hurt you. Your mother still looked at you with pride that day, even if she hurt you only a few hours before. It’s not black and white, like everything else in life. I reckon… it was so familiar a feeling, such a mingling of pain and love, you can’t really tell them apart anymore. Am I wrong?”

Sirius shook his head, stunned.

“I don’t dare asking you questions about your family, because I know it hurts,” you go on, your tone infinitely kind. “But I still care. Do you understand? I care about you, about who you are… I just… don’t want to hurt you. But you can tell me about it whenever you feel ready, okay? I’m… it’s not disinterest, it’s just… caution.”

Slowly, he nods.

“Thank you.”

He holds your hands in his, twisting his neck to press his temple against your hair, closing his eyes.

And his gratefulness tastes like love, but he’s not ready to admit it. You’re right, he needs to redefine the word, before speaking it again, and aim it at you.

When he kisses you, a few minutes later, it tastes like goodbye, but it’s not as sad as you expected it to be. And when he tells you he’ll wait for you, that he’ll wait for Christmas, that you can count on him, it’s easy to believe him…

[coconox]

my whb progress

as of nov. 11, 2023

i feel like i should've done this when i finished chapter 4 like weeks ago but better late than never ig

general info

lvl: 31

status: f2p

when i started: launch (10/03 my timezone)

ver: erolabs

team setup

post-halloween event my team consists of 5 light chars, 1 some other element (usually either leraye, belial, or paimon)

before that though i did use marbas before minhyeok, though sadly i'll probably rarely use marbas or any of the healers in the future since the artifacts when they work properly heal faster :')

here's my team in action!

here's everyone with their lvls and artifacts!

skill lvls: (normal attack-ultimate-passive)

mammon (cake): 4-4-4

mammon (selfie): 1-3-1

satan (selfie): 1-4-1

beelzebub (selfie): 1-3-1

leraye: 1-3

minhyeok: 1-3

secret club

i mainly focus on mammon, so i'll just be showing those here. i'm 1 story away from completing mammon (cake)'s and 2 stories away from completing mammon (selfie)'s!

materials

i do the absolute bare minimum for dailies and weeklies nowadays. since most of my chars are higher than lvl20 i've just been focusing on unholy board for most of the time i've been playing. as much as i wanna focus on skills i'm kinda held back by the game's very limited access to pies (you can only get them in shop + it's the rng boxes most of the time). hopefully there'll be more options to get pies that aren't purely dependent on rng in the future 😔🙏

i also wish candies weren't rng either, or there is rng but also an option to exchange one type of candy for another. as shown above i have absolutely way too many candies for the other kings and almost none for mammon :'))) the grind truly never ends

overall thoughts / reflection

this section is just something for me to look back on when i do a progress post again in the future. i'll break this down into sections so i can stay consistent with laying out all my thoughts. also this won't be spoiler-free

STORY

i find it somewhat interesting? i can't really put in a bunch of input since we've only explored one of the many areas of hell. i set my game to have a male mc, and there's still a lot of issues with making pronouns consistent :'). i do have a few cgs missing despite completing all the chapters that are out currently but those missing ones might be for future chapters so idk (kinda bothers me a bit to see missing cgs despite completing everything). unholy board stories are also ok? it's pretty tedious to get through so many objectives for only a little bit of story and also all the h-scenes and devil's tango bits in unholy board stories are written like they were made for wattpad lol

GAMEPLAY

tl;dr very tedious lol

addressing the elephant in the room, i'm aware there's still a lot of bugs. i won't be going too in-depth about them since they're only temporary and didn't make that much of a significance towards my overall gameplay so far (aside from the leather gloves not working, but that got fixed in the halloween patch).

i'm glad we have autoclear in resource stages but i wish we had autoclear in story stages as well (and in the future event stages too). it would also be nice if there was an autoplay feature, though that's more of a personal preference since a lot of games i play have that option and i don't get bored from doing everything manually.

the 6-7 stages in chapter 4 seemed a bit unnecessary? the story itself is rather short so i guess i can understand why they would wanna pan out as much playtime as possible, but at a certain point it does get really boring and demotivating to progress. it also sets a certain precedent for future chapters, if the battles in between each small bit of story keep slowly increasing how many stages will chapter 10 have? chapter 20? i honestly would've preferred 3 battles in between each story, or if you're gonna have 5 battles in between each story, have some of the story in those battles. aside from the tutorial, an example would be in chapter 3 right as the angels attacked the hospital and mammon took mc out with him to fight (3-73). those battles could've 1. gave a tutorial on how to use mammon and 2. talk about how strong he is like in the story right after those battles (3-79).

on a different note, i wish the "meta" wasn't so skewed towards all the l cards. as i progressed through the story i would look up guides on bilibili, only to find that most if not all the guides are heavily dependent on l cards (and levi which is the only king i don't have 💀💀), only non-l card would usually be leraye 💀. it also feels a bit unbalanced considering light and dark are usually the recommended element for every battle and can go against literally every element including their own. i wish there would be more opportunities for other elements and characters to shine and hold up well so that even if you don't have certain l cards, you can progress through the game just as well as those with the certain l cards

RESOURCES

i briefly mentioned this while going through the materials i currently have but i wish a lot of them weren't so rng heavy. it really adds to making the game tedious especially when you have to level multiple devils of the same element. having a resource stage for candies and pies would be great. it would also be great to not make everything so expensive ㅠㅠ 116 gems for one (1) candy?? a multi of red keys costing almost 2k gems?? atp i just focus on leveling up rather than getting pulls

GACHA

after the whole 'minhyeok needing yellow keys' situation i've just been hoarding keys and using gems on stuff like ap since i have nothing else to really use them for aside from pies. the gacha rates seem really,,,, sad, and the fact that the bloodshed cards banner is p2w only sucks, which kind of makes me worry for future cards being released. i got pretty lucky with getting both mammon's signature artifacts, as it's one of the requirements to progress through unholy board, but other than that i never really had the best of luck with any of my pulls. i got minhyeok at hard pity, and it took idek how long to get leraye, my conclusion is just that my luck sucks in this game lol

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/750029125678514176/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7499257226966302?source=share

I love it when anons write dissertations on taekook blogs just to try and make their relationship seem "normal" and exactly like the other members.

Tae was constantly hanging out with jk in 2023. So it took them 3 years to properly mend their relationship after the soop talk?

So Jk and tae were growing apart and since tae wasn't living with them anymore and jk decided to address Tae's mood and their relationship infront of their fans. Instead of writing that festa message, he would've idk, texted him? Instead of addressing their growing distance infront of multiple cameras capturing every angle, they could've talked privately? It's is what people do IRL isn't it?

"If they intended to make taekook follow a script of “being awkward” like you claim, then why did they basically fill ITS with alot of taekook being soft and affectionate with each other" well according to you there's different kinds of closeness. Physical closeness doesn't mean mental closeness. So why are you even taking a note of them being affectionate and soft? If I have any kind of awkwardness b/w me and my friend, I would not feel as free with them as I normally would. I wouldn't be as affectionate and soft with the friend who I have underlying issues with.

Tae left his own room to go cuddle with jk in its. Not to wake him up, just to sleep with him. Jk sat between Tae's legs, for quite some time bcs there were multiple cuts. The instances you gave comparing this are sometimes done as a joke(re. Jin grabbing tae's crotch) or things done for a purpose (re the water wiping). As for that jk caressing jm's bare skin, I've not seen that clip, but even so, those are seconds of touches, those touches don't last for eternity. That's the difference.

"We have seen Tae kiss or sniff Jin and Jimin on their napes" you've seen tae kiss jimin and jin's napes have you? Bcs as far as I remember he's done that only to jk, twice. Maybe your jk shapeshifted into jm and jin?

"eaten food that has fallen out of each other’s mouths" as far as I remember, only jk has done that, with tae.

"what does Jk consoling a crying tae mean" everyone, including jk, was crying that night. Tae was turning towards joon but jk grabbed his head and put it on his shoulder. He did not console anyone else, jimin did. Jimin went to hobi, tae, jk. He is always hyper focused on tae in stressful/important events. We've seen multiple instances where jk goes completely still when tae starts speaking.

"Jk cares about Tae just the same way he cares about all his members" way to generalize their relationships. Be a little mature about this please. I know people love to say that they love each other equally, but realistically that's not possible. There are members who are closer to one than the other.

STOP WITH THE DIFFERENT CULTURES NARRATIVE ALREADY. God I am tired of jikookers and solos bringing up the different culture thing to try and cancel everything that has no other explanation. They live in sk, not saturn. There might be some cultural nuances that might play a part in some narratives but completely dismissing everything...that's just idiotic.

Tae said he wanted to be closer to members in seasons greetings. But he said he had gone on a trip with jk, in '21. Before the wooga trip that you so happily mentioned. You sound like one of those jikookers who used to try and make tae look like the odd one out bcs of wooga. But he is hanging out with jk and wooga together. His friends supported only jk's solo. Wooshik only followed jk and tae. Idc how many times you all try to spin the "they are all equally close" narrative, tae is closest to jk in BTS. No other member hangs out with Tae's friends. You picked up fringes to prove that tae hung out with every member in chap 2 when even jikookers(atleast the sensible ones)know that tae and jk were attached throughout chap 2. Taekookers have a literal calendar to prove that 😂. Solo era, when they weren't obligated to meet everyday, they chose to hangout with each other. Eg, the day tae came back to sk, he was already making plans to go to jk's to eat makguksu(which btw they can't stop talking about), and he flew for that Celine event the day after that.

Tae has said multiple times that he used to share his troubles with jk, that they used to cry together. This is during the time when he had moved out. But according to you tae moving out was one of the reasons they grew apart. Yoongi texted just those two, they were together even when they received his text, no other member knew about it. During the worst year of their lives, they chose each other. How immature are you to believe that two people who have always been so close, who've always been there for each other, who share such a deep bond, will grow apart bcs one of them stopped being fun?? Are you kidding me?!!

So, to answer your question, yes, we do listen to taekook. They are the only ones we listen to. Maybe you should start doing the same. Instead of trying to find receipts that somehow make tae the aloof member, try to focus on your ship, if you have one( I think you do, the one that starts with j and ends with 13 😉)

Hi anon!

To be fair, I don’t think that anon is a jkkr, they usually insert Jm somewhere, which this anon hasn’t done. And I understand that if you don’t pay extra attention to Tae and Jk.. you just believe what is given to you. You take what you think you know of Sk culture and think.. yeah, skinship is just a physical act, it doesn’t speak to their connection.. all of BTS are close. But there are just such big differences between the extent of that skinship and the context around those moments between Tae and Jk and them and other members. When you don’t care to look at the context and the specifics of those moments though.. yeah sure it might all look the same and it fits in whatever you’ve been told to think.

All of BTS are close. Their food and drink sharing is troubling to me 😂🙈. Most of them love an occasional hug, some of them have occasional very little physical boundaries. All of that is a sign of closeness. But Tae and Jk go the extra mile.

If Tae and Jk just had minor awkwardness in their friendship this wouldn’t have been a point of focus in ITS, if Tae and Jk had medium to mayor awkwardness between them we would’ve seen that in the way they interacted physically.

[enhasfever]

impurities — s. jaeyun

˗ˏˋ TEASER ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤ [ navi.pdf ] here!

╰┈➤ [ word count.txt ] 0.6k

╰┈➤ [ summary.txt ] in which you and jake must keep your relationship a secret, especially from your family. they'd never allow you to be with someone who came from an impure bloodline like his.

╰┈➤ [ notes.txt ] part of the bloodline enhypen hyung line series!!

"should i be offended if a guy wishes that i would've been his ex instead?"

you nearly choked on the gigantic mouthful of your slurpee you'd just inhaled and turned to look at your friend with rounded eyes. "sorry, what?" you asked in disbelief.

yunjin shrugged sheepishly and casted her gaze to her lap where her fingers fiddled anxiously with each other. "just asking... hypothetically of course," she tried to brush it off, and unconvincingly so.

"did heeseung say that to you?" you pressed, leaning forward in your booth. there was no way he would say such a thing to someone, you knew him better than anyone and it sounded so out of character for him.

yunjin nodded subtly and shifted slightly in her seat. "i don't think he meant it meanly, but it still feels... unsettling, maybe?" she sighed heavily and let her shoulders slump. "should i ask him about it?"

"you're asking the wrong person for love life advice," you chuckled bitterly, swirling the straw around in your cup.

"am i?" yunjin lifted her gaze to meet yours with a knowing look in her eye that had a small pang of anxiety settling in your gut.

"yeah, you are," you insisted, shifting your attention elsewhere to avoid any further interrogation from your friend. "go to minjeong, she's better at this sort of thing than any of us."

"right..." yunjin trailed off, unconvinced by your answers but thankfully not pressing any further.

as if on cue, your phone chimed with a text message and your reflexes had you clicking on the notification without a second thought. unbeknownst to you, a smitten smile began to grow on your lips as you hurriedly responded back, and yunjin took careful notice of this.

"sorry jin, i gotta go." you abruptly rose from your seat and pushed your half finished slurpee towards your friend. "you can finish it, i'll see you tomorrow in class!"

yunjin narrowed her eyes suspiciously at you and nodded as she bid you goodbye, watching you dash out of the convenience store with your nose in your phone.

in a matter of minutes, you had ran across the city to the address that jake had sent to you. a bright smile lit up your face as you came upon a decorated tree in the small park you'd been directed to. the strands of fairy lights were familiar to you, the ones from jake's bedroom, as was the blanket from his bed that had been spread out underneath the illuminated tree. you were so enamored by the setup that you almost missed the scent of jake's presence sneaking up behind you. almost.

"boo," he whispered as he covered your eyes from behind, eliciting a few giggles from you.

"you're so cliché, you know that?" you spun around to face him properly, guiding his arms around your waist.

jake smiled warmly and held you close, dipping his head down to press his forehead against yours while your own arms snaked around the back of his neck. "but you love it, right?"

"of course i do, jae. you're so good to me," you sighed dreamily, closing your eyes as you basked in the tranquility you felt in being wrapped up in his arms like this. the sun had just set about half an hour ago, leaving the sky painted in dark purple and navy hues. stars began to twinkle and the air left a pleasant chill against your skin, as though you weren't already permanently chilled to the touch. everything just felt perfect, a bit too perfect sometimes.

"i wouldn't dream of treating you in any lesser way," he breathed out in a gentle whisper, reaching up to tuck a few flyaway strands of your hair behind your ear.

"jake, i–"

"y/n?"

you froze in fear, your eyes shooting open as jake whirled around at the sound of the voice coming from behind him. you hastily shoved jake further away from you as you made eye contact with your brother who was looking at you with the same shellshocked expression.

"sunoo?"

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