#passing privilege

[labgrowndaddyissues]

Passing privilege doesn't exist and claiming it does is fed talk meant to divide the trans community.

Transandrophobia is real and denying its existence because "xyz oppression is worse" is fed talk meant to divide the trans community.

Transmisogynoir is real and denying its existence because "intersectionality doesn't work like that" is fed talk meant to divide the trans community.

Exorsexism is real and denying its existence because "it's just misdirected transphobia" is fed talk meant to divide the trans community.

Denying and minimizing your trans siblings' experience is what they want you to do. Quit falling for it.

[boobexplosion]

it's nice to pass as a cis guy at my job when the trans topic comes up with my coworkers. we both will agree that they are the gender they say they are, we agree it's so ridiculous how people get so upset over them, we talk about how people deserve respect. it's nice to know that when people think youre cis, there's allies out there who think theyre talking to another cis person but theyre being kind and respectful talking about us, and that they love us. :) this has happened with over half a dozen coworkers from three different jobs. there are cis people who really do care.

[honeylemony]

Nothing puts online discourse into perspective more than the experience of walking past protestors into my local pride yesterday.

My bi sister and her husband arrived before us and walked in together. They weren't approached or harassed.

Myself (lesbian) and the girl I'm dating walked in together with an extremely opposite experience. I'm extremely thankful for the security volunteers that eventually made the picketers relocate to outside the park.

No one cares that you're at pride with your different sex partner. But you cannot in any way say that you don't experience the world differently if your relationship is perceived as straight. You are offered protections and privileges that visibly gay and trans people are not.

[gettinontopic]

[I made this post on another blog so if it seems familiar then you are probably remembering my other post. Wanted to make a new version here. ]

.

I want to talk about the terms White, Straight and Cis passing privilage... And how they're kind of inaccurate to the average passing persons experience.

It is not a privilege to have to shove down, hide, or escape a part of your identity for your well being and safety. It is also not a privilege to have people ignore oart of your identity for their comfortability. The only privilege is when people know and respect your identity unfaulteringly.

Mixed folks who have lighter skin or straightened hair aren't experiencing privilege. They're experiencing white people projecting whiteness and erasing their color. That is hurtful and any advantages are quickly lost if you dare argue with them on how they see you. It's also lost if you stand up for fellow poc or the issues their community faces.

Bisexuals who are having either Straight and Gay people assign them heterosexual even though many preach "don't assume or force anyone to out themselves." It's not a privilege I imagine to be told that you look straight when you aren't. I as a masc butch I don't feel validated being called straight why would a bisexual?? Also with the ammount of families who project their want for you to be with the opposite sex/gender even after you come out is a major fucking loss actually.

Being cis passing means shit comments, the risk of being outed and then hurt, and other queers projecting their belief there is a "gay look" on you to the point where they'll act like you're on cis peoples side for "following the binary too close."

Personally I think it should be called _____ passing safety or something similar?

Because that's the main reason people hide themselves to pass. And it's the reason they don't argue when someone assigns them and identity. Its because of fear of backlash, harm, or even the risk of death.

Idk it's not fully fleshed (So feel free to add your own thoughts on the matter) out but privilege implies gain, and none of those really gain youanything. Especially if it can be taken at. moments notice if they learn who you actually are.

Link to original which has photos of important tags and some addtional thoughts

[centrumlumina]

Okay, the thing about F1nn5ter has helped crystallise something I've been thinking about a lot lately: we need better words for the way society labels people without their consent.

I know most people on Tumblr Dot Com are on board the intersectional feminism train, people can self-identify however they want, etc., but this stuff is baked in deep. I'm talking about gaydar, about "I can tell a trans woman by looking", about "but you don't look disabled." It runs even deeper - I'm betting everyone reading this has recently assumed someone's gender or race without explicitly asking them how they identified. And I'm not saying that's bad necessarily; I don't know if society would function if we couldn't use any non-verbal indicators of identity.

But the idea that appearance alone is enough to know someone's identity can be a dangerous one, primarily because of how people react when they are told they are wrong. There are a number of situations I've seen where people are so confident in their assessment of other people's appearance that they will become belligerent or aggressive when corrected, even if the correction is coming from the person whose identity is in question.

I'm sure there are terms which already exist for this - I'm no expert on the topic - but I'm surprised I don't already know what to call it. This is such a common issue that you'd think it would be more widely discussed. Instead the closest I can think of is "passing", which isn't quite right - it puts all the focus on the person being judged and how they present themselves, while I'm much more interested in talking about the person doing the judging.

So my proposed term, at least for now, is "presumption of identity." F1nn5ter experienced a presumption of female identity, despite the fact that he identifies as a man. Certain fictional characters are assigned a presumption of white identity, in spite of their actors being mixed race.

Anyway, let me know what you think.

[transunity]

Social Pressures and Activism

To follow on from yesterday's post - there does exist a kind of pressure for people to make themselves more palatable for the social norms of this site. E.g. there does exist a pressure for binary trans people to identify as nonbinary because of the black and white way people view oppression on here. Such as the idea of 'binary privilege' (which, like male privilege and straight privilege, only really exists for you if you're cisgender and/or heterosexual).

Because of these ideas, people do feel a pressure to not be in whichever group is currently being demonised on tumblr.com. When binary trans people are being blamed for cisgender oppression of nonbinary people, many binary trans people may feel pressure to abandon ties to their binary expression of gender out of feeling shamed or guilted for being a binary gender.

This same thing happens to trans men when they are shamed for being men. Monogamous people when they are shamed for not being polyamorous, bisexual people when they are shamed for not being pansexual.

I don't know how to describe it, but it is unique to the social organisation of this site that every so often, A Group will become demonised and there's then a push or a pressure to unassociate oneself with the group currently being blamed for something that they probably didn't do- but are the easiest target to lash out at.

For me, it was a few years ago when people demonised bisexuals as evil panphobes who weren't progressive enough because we use the prefix bi-. I ended up using the term pan for a few years to appease those who would jump at the chance to attack me for using bi. But it never felt right and I found the courage to use bi for myself again.

The same is happening to binary trans men right now (I don't consider myself a binary or nonbinary man - but my primary expression of gender is most similar to binary trans men) - where in the tumblr social sphere, binary gender is sometimes seen as unprogressive and nonbinary identities are seen as more expansive or better than binary ones (I stress this attitude only exists in nonbinary affirming parts of this site, I know nonbinary folks are very much harmed and oppressed in most other places).

I've seen this too with monogamous people being shamed for not being polyamorous - alongside ideas monogamy is more toxic or bad and polyamory is somehow more progressive or safe (bad rhetoric as it suggests to poly folks they can't be harmed in poly relationships, only mono ones). Polyamorous people are wonderful, but I'm just not polyam. That doesn't make me less progressive or valid.

And famously with bisexual women being shamed for not being lesbians because lesbianism is often framed as being more progressive for not involving men. (Most of the examples in this post ultimately derive from radi€al feminist rhetoric and understanding of oppresion).

(And this kind of rhetoric affects straight trans people who are not gay, monosexual people who aren't bi/pan etc. And so on and so forth).

The common feature is how black and white the analysis of oppresion is on here. People are always itching to find who is the Bad Guy of sexuality and gender this week and who is the Good Guy.

The "men bad" rhetoric turns into "the men in closest proximity to me are trans therefore trans men bad"

"Straights bad" rhetoric can turn into "the straight people in closest proximity to me are straight trans people therefore straight trans people bad"

"Binary bad" rhetoric turns into "the binary people in closest proximity to me are binary trans people therfore binary trans people bad"

"Monosexuality bad" rhetoric turns into "the monosexuals in closest proximity to me are cis and trans gays and lesbians, therefore trans and cis gays and lesbians bad"

"Cisgender people bad" rhetoric turns into "the cisgender people in closest proximity to me are cis gays, bis and lesbians, therefore cis gays bad"

And the reverse is true when a specific identity is identified as the "Good Guy"

"Pansexuality is more progressive" rhetoric turns into "bisexuals and anyone else who doesn't use the pan label is bad"

And

"Women are more progressive" rhetoric turns into "the men in closest proximity to me are trans therefore trans men bad".

The whole analysis of oppresion on this site is broken if it uses this framework. Because most of us on this site don't necessarily have access to people in groups which do hold privilege, many people on this site settle for taking out their frustrations on the closest target- who is likely to be a marginalised person also. (E.g. someone frustrated with cis male privilege attacks trans men because they resemble the men they hate. But all this achieves is terrorising trans men. Cis men go on unaffected by it).

I do want to add- there is a time and a place to accurately discuss oppressors and privilege- but viewing oppresion and privilege as black and white isn't helpful. Nor is ostracising, alienating or harassing other members of your community for being X identity acceptable.

This is a long post but I hope it makes sense.

[friday411]

This is the best essay on the concept of “passing privilege” I’ve ever read.

Credit: @pet_foolery

[rimbaudofficial]

wild that people have decided passing privilege isn't real because "if they knew, I wouldn't have the privilege."

hey, do you know what passing connotes?

[radiance1]

Danny has been reincarnated.

Which was an odd thing to realize, it wasn't even a slow one he just... snapped into it one day. One moment he was staring at a wall out of boredom the next, well, he was staring for an entirely different reason.

It was a task for his now young -he thinks around three years old?- mind to work its way through the memories, but it wasn't like he had much else to do honestly. So, what does he know?

His name is Danny, like, his actual name and not just a moniker. He was once a halfa and he already knows he's going to be missing invisibility and intangibility. He, well, died. For like, a second time which actually makes sense because reincarnation-

Anyways.

He was a clone of two people from this thing called the Justice League which, weird name but probably some government or activist group. Wonder Woman and Superman. Which were pretty weird names to name your kids but eh.

He doesn't really remember much besides that from this life, or the one from before but he's an adult! He'll figure things out once he gets out of this containment tube thing.

Did he mention he was in a test tube? He's a tube baby now. He thinks? Or maybe it's more like he's being contained.

Whatever.

So he breaks out. Thank you apparent superstrength that he has no idea why he has but he's not going to complain! He then wandered around all of the other test tubes, able to remember just enough of English to see that yea, they're dead.

He probably was too, before he had memories zapped into him. Or a vegetable.

He then finds this really big container, checks it out, then opens it because the clone inside isn't dead!

'Project Match' it said. He'll just call him Match.

Was he thanked for helping him? Nope. You would think that he would be thanked or at least somewhat respected for saving this guy but nope!

He was, quite literally, held up by his leg and dangled in the air. Who dangles a three-year-old?! Well, he was technically and adult but still! The next few things were a blur but after pulling off the old Fenton charm he found him and Match outside as he tried to stop him from attacking random people.

Luckily the charms and privilege of the youngest (he's assuming he's the youngest, because he's physically three) was more than enough to get through to him. Sure, the guy couldn't form words, really aggressive for literally no reason, really weird but also absolutely cool looking eyes. But he worked around the first issue by developing their own personal language from like grunts and stuff, the second he once again used his youngest privilege to boss him around and the third a pair of sunglasses easily fixed.

He just had to steer Match clear of those random S crest mark thingies. Which was a weird thing to hate but hey, he's not there to judge.

[turquoisepaws]

yh I know I fucking pass as being "able-bodied, Christian, or straight"

[trans-androgyne]

My whole stay in the hospital, after introducing myself with he/they and having he/him on my little wristband and charts and stuff, I only got called he without having to correct someone once out of the dozens of times I was gendered. Even by the other trans person there. They also marked me down as female even though my legal gender is X and everywhere they don’t have X it’s M. They did the same thing to the transfem I befriended, putting her down as M even though she’s legally F. But at least she got she/her’d most of the time despite not passing either :/

[danielnelsen]

while i get where this comes from and it’s true to an extent, i reeeaaaally don’t like how people try to explain “trans men don’t [necessarily] have male privilege” with things like “some trans men don’t pass”.

like sure that’s the most obvious example (someone who is seen as a woman won’t have the privilege that comes with being seen a man) but you’re still acting like being a passing trans man is just a free opt-in to male privilege which is………kinda the issue.

[matan4il]

Every single time I hear someone referring to a Jewish person as ‘white’ another little piece of my soul dies.

As a non-American Jew, the first time I ever heard Jews being referred to as white was when I was a full grown adult watching an American reality show. I FOR REAL thought they were making that shit up in order to generate buzz and get people talking about the controversy! That’s how foreign the notion was to me. Imagine my shock and horror to discover that THIS IS A COMMON MISCONCEPTION IN THE UNITED STATES.

It’s the way that referring to Jews as ‘white’ ERASES white people’s antisemitism, it erases our persecution at the hands of white people, it erases our suffering, it erases the OTHERING that Jews had suffered for CENTURIES from actual white people.

Based on what the skin tone of some Jews in a few places might afford them SO LONG AS NO ONE KNOWS THEY’RE JEWISH.

If you have to hide your real identity in order to enjoy the privileges of being perceived as white, YOU’RE NOT WHITE (this is true for Jews just like it is true for other white-passing People of Color).

White passing is not the same as white.

WHITE PASSING IS NOT THE SAME AS WHITE.

Jews are NOT white. Not a single one of us. Not even the ones who can pass as white, let alone all of the Jews who can’t.

[ivygorgon]

So, I get super guilty when I knee jerk clock someone and think "you look like you might walk in this circle I also walk in! 😄" But that's a call out and no good.

What I try now is: I smile and wave. If conversation may be had, I say they remind me of my old friend or they seem like someone I share a lot with. That way I don't single them out for anything in specific, I just made generic pleasant human connection.

seeing trans ppl in public is literally life giving. wish there was a normal way to express to other trans people in public that we’re family and that i love them

[pokemon-radical-red]

Trans men are literally just a joke to so many people. I’ve seen multiple Tik Toks like “When the trans man with HUGE BOOBS(!!!) in a crop top gets mad at me when I misgender him.”

One of these had the OP’s comment of “Why are so many people in my comment section being transphobic towards trans men?”

It’s because you made this a safe space for people who hate trans men!!! You decided to describe trans men’s bodies in dehumanizing, sexualizing ways to make a joke out of us! In what world does “smh trans men are SO EMOTIONAL and expect us to instantly know everything about them and cater to them even though it makes my life so hard (I have to change a word),” not come off as repackaged sexism?

If you say that this is a made up situation, these people will immediately claim that this happens and has happened to them. It’s interesting that either they’re lying or they’re admitting that they’re sexualizing a real man’s body in a way that could easily trigger his gender dysphoria.