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Several months ago, I wrote a short post about the Tortoise Media podcast that broke the sa accusations against Neil Gaiman.

I was trying to help people understand that it's important to be skeptical when evaluating claims from an untrustworthy source. Good judgment means waiting until you have enough information to evaluate the claim and that's especially hard to get when the reporting comes from an untrustworthy source. You don't need to assume someone is innocent or guilty, you can wait until you have more to go on.

That was a long time ago.

I think there's plenty of information available to evaluate the claims now, regardless of Tortoise Media's credibility.

Putting my own opinion and notes behind a cut.

I think the claims are credible. Saying I'm disappointed doesn't seem strong enough, but I don't have any stronger words to say right now.

I wish I could have attached this to my original post about Tortoise Media, but despite not deleting the post I haven't been able to find it. So this will have to do. And since I've been feeling like I needed to say something for a while, no time like the present.

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Way, way too real (source)

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For everyone who has such a hard time considering alternatives to prison, here's some psychology you should know:

You want to put people in prison so you can feel safe. What makes you feel safe is seeing your community violently imprison people that you don't know. This lets you blame those people for making you feel afraid so the violence can make you feel strong and thus safe.

That's why you need to compare everyone in prison to the worst monsters you can think of. If you don't make them *all* out to be monsters then it's a lot harder condemning them to violence and torture to keep yourself safe.

That's why you can't consider the alternatives or listen to the evidence demonstrating that prison doesn't work. If you listened, you'd feel unsafe, and you're unwilling to do that. You've let your fear control you and it's preventing you from thinking clearly.

Pretty sure @needabetternamelater has reblogged like 5 of my posts and then blocked me. So that's funny. But, just in case it's just a glitch that won't let me reblog those replies.

What do we do with rapists in a prisonless society? Well, 1. Fewer than 1% of rapists go to prison, so holding up prison as the standard that any other solution has to beat isn't hard. What do with do with rapists in a society with prisons? For 99+%? Not prison.

2. Prisons do not reduce the amount of rapes that happen. So again, prison fails pretty handedly at being both a prevention and a punishment. (It's a bit like arguing 'without the death penalty, what will we do with shop lifters?")

3. I've explain many times, on posts you've responded to, the variety of responses a justice system can have to any crime, including sexual assault. Mandatory counseling, restraining orders, restorative/reparation hearings, housing and employment restrictions, fines, caseworker check ins, mental health consults, and vocational training are all possible responses, and which would would have the best chance of preventing recidivism would depend on the specifics of that person and the risk factors in them reoffending.

In the past, we locked people in pillories and cut off their hands for crimes. Phasing out a cruel and ineffective punishment doesn't mean there's free reign for crime.

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This may be controversial amongst high school English teachers but I think that if we wanna teach students about antiblackness in America maybe they should read a book that’s actually by a black person

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I hope people with the anon's attitude find this thread because I want to say something to them directly:

Dear Anon,

If this is how you feel about fanfic, someone taught you incorrectly. You have learned bad lessons that aren't true from people who had no business teaching you such awful ideas.

All art is inspired by the art that came before it. Throughout history, artists inspiring more artists are how we got some of the most beautiful artworks that humanity has ever produced.

Fanfic is just the part of human art that wears this fact on its sleeve. If someone taught you that fanfic is inherently degrading and masturbatory, they were trying to tell you that they don't respect other people and they want you to not respect anyone either.

They were afraid of other people being creative in a way they didn't like, but instead of just accepting that they didn't like some stuff, they invented this idea that the art must be inherently bad. That's how they deal with the discomfort of seeing art that they don't like. Maybe it's just not their thing, or maybe it makes them think about stuff that they're afraid to think about, but they're wrong regardless.

If you hold onto this idea, it will make you miserable. You will ignore beauty, reject truth, and deny experience. And the only way you'll be able to find comfort is to pretend you're better than everyone else, which does not work when everyone else starts laughing at you for how miserable you've made yourself.

But it's easy to unlearn. Go read some fanfic. Pickup a comic book. Watch an old movie. Stare at a photograph. Visit a museum and look at some paintings. Search for sculpture on the internet. The more art you consume the more you'll come to realize it's all amazing, even if a lot of it won't really be your thing.

If you took a kid to Disneyland, would you tell them they could only ride a single rollercoaster because every other ride is degrading and self-indulgent? Let yourself enjoy something.

just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list

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the cognitive dissonance from people who want the products of modern medicine but get weird about animal research. like im sorry but this is necessary for the survival of the society we currently live in. and the scientists who work on these things are not evil cackling psychopaths. anyone you talk to in animal research has incredibly complex feelings about their work and incredibly complex relationships to the animals in their care. there are regulations and oversight and penalties in place to make the work as humane as possible and scientists are overwhelmingly the ones enforcing and advocating for better care.

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I’m just going to leave this here

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Actions, Not Words

Beware of people who will use the language of social justice to manipulate you. If you want to know whether or not someone is being honest and respectful, look to their actions, not their words.

If a community has been using a term for a long time, giving the term history and definition, someone from outside that community trying to redefine that term is appropriation. This is true even when someone is claiming the word as a part of their identity; just because someone wants to claim a term doesn't mean it's always right to do so.

You can see this in the way that many cultures have culturally-specific terms for trans people. It's not appropriate for people outside of those cultures to use those terms to describe themselves. They don't have the cultural context, they aren't in community with the people of that culture. It's insulting, it's an unearned sense of entitlement, and it's selfish.

Sure, people are technically free to call themselves whatever they want, but appropriating someone else's identity is unethical. This is true even if you resonate with the term, even if you think it perfectly describes you. And if you need to redefine the term to make it work for you? That's a strong hint that you're trying to claim a word that isn't yours to take.

People who appropriate terms like this are going to push back by saying that we're gatekeeping them. They might claim that we're just trying to create another form of essentialism, that anyone who disagrees with them is just prejudiced or a bigot, or that language is socially constructed and can mean anything.

They'll say whatever they need to say to distract you from the fact that they're trying to appropriate someone else's culture. That's the manipulation, to activate that part of you that wants to fight bigotry, and to twist it to support their appropriation instead.

This is how people use the language of social justice to manipulate you.

To know the truth, look past their words and see their actions. If they're taking terms from another culture, especially if they have to redefine those words to suit themselves, that's a good clue that they're trying to justify their unethical behavior. Don't let them use your compassion for other people to do it.

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That's one of the reasons I try to talk about how we're still all capable of perpetrating systemic violence.

I mention that binary trans isn't a thing because even if it could get used in a positive way, it suffers from two problems:

It doesn't actually work as a term. Linguistically. The gender binary doesn't actually exist, it's socially constructed, and trans people can't reinforce it. Binary and trans are two categories that are in direct conflict.

I've only ever seen binary trans used as a way to argue that people who don't explicitly call themselves non-binary are just a different class of oppressor that reinforces the gender binary. If it was a useful term I would expect to see more people adopting it to describe themselves by now, but it's still really rare.

Those are indicators that it doesn't function as a descriptor, it functions as a purity test. And when people need to put a label on you, it's always a good idea to see if they're purity testing.

Trans Experiences Aren't Universal

Since it seems like people sprint straight towards the pool of trans discourse without trying to understand the topics they're going to discuss before diving in, a few notes.

Trans people are extremely diverse, as we appear across all of human society, everywhere. Within our own community, we come from a multitude of backgrounds and experiences. There's no universal trans experience beyond being assigned a gender that doesn't match who you actually are.

As such, there are some hard truths that everyone should learn:

Not all trans people feel that they were born as the gender they now identify as, but that they changed from one gender to another.

Not all trans people feel that they changed from one gender to another, but that they were born as the gender they now identify as.

You are the only person who can say what your gender is. Everyone else is only guessing.

There's no such thing as binary trans. The gender binary does not exist, it's a social construct used to categorize people as cis man, cis woman, and other. It inherently excludes all trans people.

Not all trans people experience dysphoria. You do not have to possess gender dysphoria to know that you're trans.

Some trans people experience gender euphoria. Some trans people don't experience dysphoria or euphoria. You do not have to have this experience to be trans.

Trans people don't have to transition to be trans. Some people don't have the opportunity, some people aren't safe enough. Transition is a personal choice, not a requirement.

People who identify in a way that you're not familiar with are not appropriating or co-opting trans identity. Especially if all they're doing is trying to find a word that describes their own identity.

Trans people can still participate in systemic prejudice. Being trans doesn't prevent you from being racist, sexist, or any other kind of bigot.

Sometimes people will try to dominate discussion of trans issues. You can often tell by looking for people who start dictating the experiences of other trans people by trying to redefine language.

Learn to respect and appreciate that other trans people have an experience different from your own. They're still valid. Whether they use common pronouns or neopronouns. Whether they were born this way or changed over time. Whether they've transitioned or not.

Your experience is not universal and that's not a bad thing. Diversity is our strength.

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Trans Experiences Aren't Universal

Since it seems like people sprint straight towards the pool of trans discourse without trying to understand the topics they're going to discuss before diving in, a few notes.

Trans people are extremely diverse, as we appear across all of human society, everywhere. Within our own community, we come from a multitude of backgrounds and experiences. There's no universal trans experience beyond being assigned a gender that doesn't match who you actually are.

As such, there are some hard truths that everyone should learn:

Not all trans people feel that they were born as the gender they now identify as, but that they changed from one gender to another.

Not all trans people feel that they changed from one gender to another, but that they were born as the gender they now identify as.

You are the only person who can say what your gender is. Everyone else is only guessing.

There's no such thing as binary trans. The gender binary does not exist, it's a social construct used to categorize people as cis man, cis woman, and other. It inherently excludes all trans people.

Not all trans people experience dysphoria. You do not have to possess gender dysphoria to know that you're trans.

Some trans people experience gender euphoria. Some trans people don't experience dysphoria or euphoria. You do not have to have this experience to be trans.

Trans people don't have to transition to be trans. Some people don't have the opportunity, some people aren't safe enough. Transition is a personal choice, not a requirement.

People who identify in a way that you're not familiar with are not appropriating or co-opting trans identity. Especially if all they're doing is trying to find a word that describes their own identity.

Trans people can still participate in systemic prejudice. Being trans doesn't prevent you from being racist, sexist, or any other kind of bigot.

Sometimes people will try to dominate discussion of trans issues. You can often tell by looking for people who start dictating the experiences of other trans people by trying to redefine language.

Learn to respect and appreciate that other trans people have an experience different from your own. They're still valid. Whether they use common pronouns or neopronouns. Whether they were born this way or changed over time. Whether they've transitioned or not.

Your experience is not universal and that's not a bad thing. Diversity is our strength.

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October 14, 2022 - Alex stopped to help save a gunshot victim from bleeding out, he was then given Saint Paul Police Chiefs Award for Valor. He then gave this small speech. [video]

“I feel like I did what anyone would have done with a little bit of training that they have, that I have. I’m a certified firearms instructor, work in a high school in Minneapolis, dad and husband, and a wonderful community member. That day, nine of your squad cars raced past us as I was flagging them down (was said in the letter you sent me), and that was a potential of 18 people. 18 people could have stopped to preserve life, but 18 people chose to go to a potential threat, and I recognize the man had a pistol and we didn’t know what he was doing. I do appreciate the recognition. I won’t keep this stuff. This will go to my mom, this will probably go to my son because I am very uncomfortable being here with you guys. I do not rock with the police, but I do appreciate you giving me the opportunity to say these things. I just want folks to know they don’t keep us safe. We keep us safe. Riots work. Thank you.”

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Important Notes on Privilege

And since I'm talking about privilege now, I think it's important to go over some nuances of privilege that can be easily misunderstood.

People can benefit from the effects of privilege regardless of their identity. This is not the same as saying they have privilege.

Privilege is not a benefit that people receive. It's a tendency for society to give people with that identity more benefits than other people.

Privilege is an overloaded term. It means too much to be easy to use. It's very useful to break it down in terms of empowerment and vulnerability.

When someone has privilege, they are empowered and made less vulnerable. White people can find it easier to get a home loan. Straight people doesn't have to worry about their marriages being outlawed.

When someone does not have privilege, they are disempowered and made more vulnerable. A woman has a harder time getting a job. Black people are policed at much higher rates than white people.

Last, privilege is not a condemnation. Having privilege does not make you a bad person. It's just a way for us to look at how society is structure so we can figure out how to structure it in a better way.

Again, privilege is not a condemnation. Having it doesn't make you a bad person. It's okay to talk about the ways in which society makes it easier or harder for people based on who they are.

Finally, something more complex than I can relate in a simple point:

Take care if you're going to talk about concepts like passing privilege or the benefit of privilege, because they're often used to invalidate people's identities.

The reason passing privilege isn't really a thing is the same reason that benefiting from privilege isn't the same as actually having privilege. Any benefit you might see is conditional on your appearance and you are still subject to the same vulnerability. You're still a target even it they can't see you.

I hope this helps you avoid some of the common misconceptions of what privilege is and how it works.

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Trans Masculine Individuals and Male Privilege

Lately, when I've talked about trans issues it's been in response to some of the ongoing discussions about trans men and trans masculine people.

Since one of the important topics in that conversation is about male privilege, I want to share a resource I read that might not have been talked about yet in trans discourse. At least, not that I've seen yet.

This is a study in which the researchers questioned a cohort of trans masculine individuals in order to get a picture on how the cohort viewed their relationship to the idea of male privilege. It's a fascinating read because it demonstrates the complexity of the topic.

Although a majority of the participants did believe that they had male privilege and provided examples of how they benefited from it, a sizeable number stated that they did not experience male privilege.

Not for just a single reason either. Some felt that they didn't have it, some felt that they would never be seen as men, and a very small number believed that male privilege didn't exist at all.

The answers provided by the participants are broken down in good detail in the paper and I really recommend reading the entire thing, because the abstract just isn't enough.

All told, it's really fascinating and might help you gain a new perspective.

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All told, getting blocked is preferable to having an argument, I think.

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