#the therapist friend

[solo-walker]

Oh Amanda, I have never felt more called out by a character in my ENTIRE LIFE

[spenjelly]

Sometimes growing up an undiagnosed Audhd bean means you didn’t get bullied but you didn’t make any lasting friendships either

[block-tales-playerswap-au]

pre-relationship these two idiots were messes that didn't know how to approach their feelings for one another 😭

thank god father Thaniyel helped Rockstar or else this would've become an indefinite pining scenario.

[adharastarlight]

"just tired" i mutter with a smile whilst my soul splinters a fraction more

[paintedcrows]

Whenever Bill sees KingOfNJ's fics through Stan's eyes he just thinks they have the same taste in fanfiction (disgusting. unthinkable) continued

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[axoqiii]

🦋 whichever path you choose

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

Couples Therapy (DpxDc Prompt)

Danny looses a bet and now he has to attend couples therapy. The problem? He has no one to attend couples therapy with.

The obvious solution, he decides with 3am clarity after 36 consecutive hours awake, is to put out a job listing. And where better to find a fake partner than a dating site?

About Me

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don't know each other.

Now all he has to do is wait.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[gildedoak]

Episode 7: Beignets!

I rewatched S2E2 of Helluva Boss ("Seeing Stars") and got hit with that BANGER of a line from Loona about dads having issues and messing up all the time but still caring. VIVZIE, I am sensing a THEMEEEEEEE.

And thank you for all the lovely comments thus far! I'm so tickled to see how many folks connect with this, whether you're from the American South or not. Food is such a core love language for so many people.

SOUTHERN COMFORT FOOD MASTERLIST

[archiearchiearchiearchie]

tommy in fanfics vro

[eirianerisdar]

I'm watching Nico Rosberg's new vlog and did he actually secretly change his ordered colour for the AMG hypercar he bought from Mercedes to a specific silver-grey Ferrari shade called Grigio Ferro without telling them what it meant. He just said I want it [this particular hex code] and they thought it was just a nice colour but it's actually. A donning of Ferrari colours over a Mercedes-built engine

Nico. Nico. I know what you're doing. You didn't have to do this I know there's a poet in you but this is the most unhinged thing you've done in years

[xxplastic-cubexx]

just wanted to make a color ref for Brain Therapist Magneto from 309 but i needed lights too for some reason

bonus The Flats Only Version

[pierkyn]

> gets invited to a bath with the RT > plays a "game" that's just him trauma dumping > refuses to elaborate further > leaves

???

[books-not-people]

AU where when Danny first got in the portal for the picture jazz being the protective older sister she is and knowing her parents "lab safety" she goes in with Danny and when he trips her immediate thought was to save him from falling in the danger trap she considered the portal and they both become halfas que the canon ghost shenanigans but add protect younger siblings obsessed jazz being a absolute nightmare standing behind Danny the hole time just daring someone to go after team phantom and any time they do they immediately regret as they have angered the older sibling and mercy is not an option.

When pariah dark happens they team up to own him no suit required and jazz and Danny become sibling rulers of the realms.

Somehow their parents find out and go mad scientist on them jazz is 18 in this so says fuck you takes Danny and as the nature secretly petty as shit just calls CPS and takes Danny and sues her parents for child support.

They + Sam & Tucker (because they can convince Tucker's parents it will be good for his future tech career and Sam just tells her parents she's going to stay with her dads side of the family(the drakes)) go to Gotham because no GIW unlike Amity and is ecto rich I also imagine that both are on their way to becoming Ancients of space (Danny) and as odd as it seems older siblings(jazz) they are confused at first until it's explained that the belief of the love and protections that older siblings are some of the most protective and also mischievous towards their younger siblings has built up to for an ancient and jazz just happened to become that ancient.

Que jazz helping college students in the Gotham U library study when they miss their older siblings help like when they where growing up and just being a protection spirit but to siblings in particular. This becomes super annoying when the bats and the birds start setting off her instincts after joker escapes and she can only relax after beating the shit out of him with the anti-creep stick in front of red hood who promptly falls in love with her much to the annoyance of Danny who was already secretly dating tim and meeting at the local coffee shop and ordering their coffee

Feel free to add your own ideas and if anyone writes it please send me a link or title I would love to support your story💖

[all-too-unwell-13]

i know we all love pandora and reg friendship in fics

but i present to you, dorcas and reg friendship who match each other's sarcasm, give each other 'looks' across the class when someone says smth stupid, never hold hands/are physically affectionate but link arms in the hallway otw to class (nobody can tell if they're dating or not until marlene comes along), and when reg is the only one dorcas tells about her chaotic love life because she doesn't trust anyone else

(bonus points if the fic includes pandora and barty friendship 🙏)