#source: incorrect quotes

[incorrect-lackadaisy-cats]

Mordecai: Ah the humble apostrophe. The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit.

Rocky: Also the difference between “well fuck” and “we’ll fuck.”

Mordecai:

Mordecai: Yes that too.

[chaoticwarrior]

Cleo: Valentine’s Day is a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than driving people insane buying heart- shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Frankie: I wrote you a poem.

Cleo, already crying: You did?

[doththymayo]

Davey: Jack, are you getting enough sleep?

Jack: Sometimes when I sneeze I close my eyes.

[incorrect-our-flag-means-death]

Ed: *gets down on one knee*

Stede: Oh my god, it’s finally happening

Ed: *trying to put on dress shoes*

Stede, tears in his eyes: He’s finally wearing something besides leather

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???

[bruciemilf]

Bruce: I know it’s hard, but you must remain forgiving and merciful, Jason.

Tim, who had to watch Bruce skin a man alive like a piece of salmon with a batarang for saying something rude about his then deceased son, throw him in the back of the Batmobile, and drive him to the hospital just to beat him up again:

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: The real reason Howl kept his castle moving was tax evasion.

Jason: This sounds like a joke but I read the book. This is the literal reason.

[greenapplebling]

Tim: Who suffers more, God or us?

Jason: God will suffer when I get there

Dick: And that's why he won't let you die for real

Jason: Cursed with immortality? Outrageous...

Tim: Or cursed to spend your other life in the limbo

Jason: I'm banned from Hell too??

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*after Tim dyed his hair for something*

Bruce: You look like the girl from monsters Inc.

Tim: Boo

Bruce:

Tim:

Bruce:

Tim: That's her name.

Bruce: Oh. I thought you were trying to scare me

[halyasgirl]

Daniel…

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2605

Don't forget to feed your wizard. (Dialogue is just made up, lol.)

[batfamgalore]

I like to imagine Dick just drops information about his life like how Alexis does in Schitt’s Creek, and the batfam is just like whaaaa, but he cuts them off before they can ask more questions.

*They just rescued Dick who has been held hostage for months*

Dick: So, this is weird. Today kinda marks the longest kidnapping I’ve had.

Tim: Kinda.

Dick: Yeah. The actual longest kidnapping I’ve been involved in was a three month kidnapping. But for the last two months of that I was debating becoming his apprentice to save my friends. Anyway-

*Bruce is forcing everyone to play two truths and a lie because he read that it was a good bonding opportunity*

Dick: My eyes are green. My suit is blue and black. And one time, I was stuck in the desert for a week with a random baby and I was able to get the baby to safety, but the two people I was with couldn’t make it very far.

Bruce: This is supposed to be easy, Dick.

Alfred: His eyes are blue, Master Bruce.

*Jason was kidnapped and it took longer than usual to find him*

Dick: Ever since Jason went back to his apartment you guys have been so dramatic. Do I have to remind you of the time I was taken hostage by Joker for weeks and no one answered my calls?

Everyone is too flabbergasted and Dick changes the subject so fast they can’t even ask him questions.

__________

[my-deer-legolas]

[percabethconvos]

Annabeth: I need Percy there

Annabeth: I need someone to exchange glances with when people inevitably annoy me

[queerlyoddly]

tim: Rules are made to be broken.

bruce: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

jason: Uh, piñatas.

dick: Glow sticks.

damian: Karate boards.

cass: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

tim: Rules.

bruce:

[bruciemilf]

Bruce: Anyway, I better get this one home. See you, Superman.

Jason, a 6’4 anti hero crime fighting machine who threw down with Batman multiple times, sleepy as fuck: No! No no no no

Bruce, carrying him like a toddler: Yes ~