#dc bruce wayne

[spocks-husband]

I'm like 80% this is already canon but can we all agree that Bruce, being the bat motif obsessed freakazoid that he is, ABSOLUTELY dedicates at least an hour a week to personally baking his own bat-shaped high-protein dog treats for Ace and Titus? He has a compartment for them in his belt (and, of course, so does Damian, who has made alternate recipes to meet the needs of their other animals too and is frequently scolded because he dedicates more space in his belt for the aforementioned treats than actual gadgets).

Ace and Titus are greatly rewarded when they're good bathounds (which is always obviously 😒) and, of course, it's become tradition that any strays they find are also given a treat-- which has lead to the urban legend that Batman has some sort of animal-communication ability because of how many random street animals tend to show up when he or one of the kids stops a mugging or something because they know they'll be fed.

[mcudc616]

Batman Spaghettio’s

Nickelodeon Magazine December 2005/January 2006

[ykoopsya1]

Bruce Wayne 👈

Thomas Wayne 👈

[supine-ly]

Natural selection at its finest

[vespertilionis]

Bruce: “Has anybody here had any contact with Jason in the last five months?”

Steph, who has been exchanging rants about their favorite shows with him daily and is currenly typing a new one: “…No.”

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*after Tim dyed his hair for something*

Bruce: You look like the girl from monsters Inc.

Tim: Boo

Bruce:

Tim:

Bruce:

Tim: That's her name.

Bruce: Oh. I thought you were trying to scare me

[iwannabealice]

clark: i met this boy last night that seemed to really hate you

bruce: that could be anyone, what did he look like?

clark: tall, white, dark hair, really big-

bruce: ah, that’d be jason. my son

[adhara2034]

I think Tim often listens to stories about Dick and Jason's time as Robin and feels so much envy.

When he was Robin, there was no hiding under Batmans cloak or saying crappy puns or laughing with him. There was just work and being alone.

Tim spent most of his Robin career either holding Batman together or doing things alone.

And then Jason came back, and Batman spent more time trying to unmask him, more effort into defeating him, then he had ever shown Tim.

It was only through so much time that Batman finally started seeing Tim not as his sons replacement, but as his Robin.

But still, Tim had the shittiest Robin run because he never truly got to be Robin.

[murdockbuckley]

no one can convince me brucie wayne isn't the type of celebrity to have released his own songs and so he appears as a guest judge on singing shows and it's always incredibly funny

and everyone thinks he's songs are going to be terrible but they're actually really fucking good

when he's pre-children it's just his vocals and piano playing, sometimes alfred makes a cameo with an instrument or two

then he starts adopting and slowly his songs start to gain new instruments and voices, they start branching into different genres

and some of the songs are really silly and obviously written as jokes by his children, some are heartfelt and heartbreaking

and anytime anyone in his family brings him lyrics he produces and releases the songs no matter what (this includes any of his close friends)

of course any profits gained from the songs are funded to different charities, all specifically chosen by whoever created the song - or if bruce created the song they all chose a different charity and let a spinny wheel pick

oliver queen often challenges bruce to music competitions, knowing he'll lose, just so they can compete and see who can raise more money

[mylifeingotham]

[tarta-de-limon]

@tinybluealien 😭😭✋✋

I like to think he was on a mission, fell down the mountain right to the water, right in front of the monkeys, and now they think he's a weird type of monkey. Poor weird monkey, all alone, they decide to take him in. Besides, he has food!

Damian panics because those nuts are all he has and they're eating them way too fast. He thinks they'll attack him the moment they're over, but they're actually very nice.

He's starting to feel dizzy when Bruce arrives and, well...

Bruce gave them lots of yummy food and took Damian while they were eating.

Best mission ever.

[actualmagus]

Idk if this been posted but HOLY FUCK SKKALALDKHDSODHWOFKDLSYAKRKGDJWKLCJBEPOORJASON

[zweetpea]

Yandere batfam one shot/imagine thing

I'll probably make a part 2

You met Bruce while you were working as a waitress for a gala. It was a second job to pay rent. Maybe he brought Selina or some other girl or maybe he came alone.

Either way you two end up in a room together and end up sleeping together. Just as you’re pulling on your clothes he asks to see you again. He even offers you a check (let’s say it’s for 500k). You take the money promising to see him again but you don’t for about a year.

After a year of him searching every corner of Gotham he finally finds you. And surprise surprise you have a three month old baby girl.

He goes up to you and begs you to let him be in the baby’s life. After a few weeks of bribes (and him secretly stalking you) you finally make a deal with him. If he works from home he can take care of the baby during the day.

So you brought your baby to the Wayne Manor. You expected maybe a servant or maybe Bruce to answer the door. You were not expecting a young man to open the door. He had short shaggy black hair with an undercut and a K-pop hair style. He stared at you with his piercing blue eyes-

“Tim drake! That’s who you are! I used to love watching your let’s plays! I love your sense of humor!” Tim was surprised. Being the middle child (especially the middle boy) he often feels left behind by his siblings, so having someone notice his accomplishments for once felt nice.

“Drake. What are you looking-” a short boy came up behind the gamer. He had a darker complexion and slicked back black hair with piercing green eyes. You smiled at him and he straight up slammed the door in your and your baby’s face. Your eyes grew wide and your face fell into a scowl.

You heard shuffling from behind the door and when if opened you saw Tim holding the kid by the scruff of his collar as one would do with a misbehaving animal. “Sorry about that Miss.” Tim smiled at you. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I’m going to be late for work. Here give her to Bruce. Her name is Echo.” You give the baby to Tim. “Oh there you go. Support her head now.” You threw the bag in the small rude kids face. “Everything she needs is in there. I’ve left instructions inside for how to take care of her. If she doesn’t eat that much try tickling her tummy. I’ve labeled the extra bottles of her food so if she’s really hungry give her some and if it’s not enough call me I’ll get here as soon as I can. I don’t want her drinking any of that store bought crap. Understand?”

“Yes ma’am.” Tim smiled.

“Good.” You ruffled his hair. Then you turned to the younger boy. “Be good to my baby ya hear? Or else I’ll milk papa Bruce for every penny I can.” You ruffled his hair too. You then kissed your baby and went back to your car.

Tim shut the door and immediately Echo started crying. Bruce and Alfred came running at the noise.

“No… I missed her.” Bruce said. He looked at his three youngest kids. “Hey sweetheart.” Bruce tried to grab Echo. But Tim held her close. Everyone looked at him surprised.

“Father why did that rude lady drop off a baby.” Damian scowled.

“She’s not rude. She’s your future Step Mother.” Bruce smiled at the thought of your and his wedding. “Now Tim, give my baby here. She’s crying.”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean no?” Bruce seemed flabbergasted.

“She trusted me to hold her child. This is my baby sister.”

“Drake! Give father the baby. She’s being loud.” Damian covered his ears. Echo looked over at him and made a grabby hand gesture at him.

“It looks like she wants Master Damian’s attention.” Alfred pointed out.

“but-” Tim was cut off as Damian took the baby.

Echo’s cries grew quiet as her youngest older sibling held her. While Tim’s obsession with You and Echo became apparent almost immediately, giving him the praise his own family and the Media refused to, Damian’s was slow. It started with someone (echo) actually liking him. After all he went from being showered in attention under Talia’s thumb to being practically ignored at Wayne Manor.

Dick was by far the kindest to Damian, being a mentor to the young boy. But he could still bite back at Damian’s snark. Barbara and Stephanie took none of his crap, to the point where they barely spoke to him. Cass and Duke held no qualms about fighting with a kid. Jason was like a cool big brother and while he wasn’t at the manor often he always made most of his time there focused on the kid. Tim and Damian had a very strained relationship. And while Bruce loves Damian there’s always a bit of strain, and guilt on Bruce’s part. If he’d stayed with Talia maybe Damian wouldn’t have to grow up in a cesspool of Violence and mental agony.

“Back to your old ways of not wearing protection father?” Damian smirked.

“Damian… give me my Daughter.” Bruce said gently but firmly.

“Its nice to know you fought for her more than you fought for me. Though to be fair to you Ummi did shove us together.” He snarked as he held the baby who’d fallen asleep. Bruce went to grab her but Damian stepped back. “Ah ta ta. You wouldn’t want to disturb her right?” Damian smirked.

Over the next few hours Damian was mainly the one taking care of Echo if only to stop her from crying.

And at the end of the day when you finally got off work to pick up your sweet baby you were surprised to see Bruce, Damian, and Tim all playing with her in the living room. (What was more surprising was that her attention was mainly focused on the brat from this morning Damian.) She cooed as she saw you and you rushed to pick her up and gather her things into her bag.

Damian glared at you as you took Echo from his borderline iron clad grip. Who were you to take his sister, his blood sister mind you, away form him? (Her mother but we're not going to get into that right now.)

"Sweetness how about you just slow down. I'll have Alfred prepare you a drink. Which kind of tea do you like more Earl Gray or Jasmine." Bruce smiled and twiddled a piece of your hair in his hand.

You smacked his hand away. "No thank you. My baby and I need to get home." You said and quickly hurried out of there.

"Father you can't let her leave!" Damian said.

"Yeah! Don't you want that nice lady to be your wife?" Tim agreed.

"I was talking about Echo." Damian deadpanned.

Bruce ruffled both their heads. "Patience boys. Have a little faith in your old man." He smiled as you walked away. Before the month was out he'd have you and echo safely tucked away in his arms in the deepest recesses of Wayne Manor.

[yandereunsolved]

Ok but imagine being in a one night stand with bruce wayne and sneaking out in the morning and you run into his gang of kids and his butler

You:🧍‍♀️

Them:🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

And now you have to not only ignore bruce wayne atempts at flirting, but also his weird family atempts at bonding time

😭 Oh, my goddesses.

Imagine just wanting a quick pleasure night and ending up stuck in a situationship with the most powerful family in Gotham.

Bruce Wayne

one night later.

Yandere Bruce Wayne

Dick/Pussy so good you make Batman obsessed.

And Alfred is like "Master Bruce has been lonely for many years. He needs this."

And darling is just thinking 'was the dick worth it? it was, but was it?'

And then you just have the rest of the Batfam acting like lil ducklings following behind darling.

Damian dragging a dead body towards darling and leaving it at their feet like a cat does for their owner.

[supine-ly]

art dump

[vespertilionis]

During Jason’s crime lord era

Dick: “I’ve pinpointed all the locations where Jason was sighted. Maybe there’s a pattern and we can see where he’ll turn up next.”

Bruce, staring at the map, very clearly spelling “fuck you”: “…There certainly is a pattern.”