#sort of a quote?

[humming-fly]

I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever

[incorrectbatfam]

Cassandra: *gives Bruce the last piece of Halloween candy*

Bruce: *takes it*

Dick: Who ate all of my candy?

Cassandra: WE did.

[thebat-musicman]

[video starts with Jason Todd-Wayne sitting on a couch and looking into the camera like he’s in a reality tv show]

Jason: Now I have known for years that people are attracted to my father, but only this week have i figured out a way to treat this: by telling everyone what Bruce is really like. If you’re still attracted to him by the end of this video, I think you should see an optometrist.

[scene changes to see Bruce Wayne on the couch, rubbing his temples already. If you turn the volume all the way up you can hear him muttering “i love my kids i love my kids i love my kids”]

Jason, now behind the camera: Bruce! What do you dream of?

Bruce: My parents d-

Jason: I said dreams, don’t get us demonetized.

Bruce: Sudoku.

Jason: You dream of sudoku?

Bruce: Is this an interrogation?

[scene change but Bruce is still on the couch. He just has coffee now]

Jason: What’s your favorite cracker flavor?

Bruce: Saltines.

Jason: Why did you pick the boring ones?

Bruce: Crackers are inherently boring

Jason: Why not cheez-its? Or something else with a little more pizazz.

Bruce: Crackers are incapable of pizazz.

[scene change, Bruce is now eating saltines]

Jason: What do you say about the allegations that you are just a piece of white bread someone doodled a face on.

Bruce: …does the bread at least have raisins?

Jason: No. Now what about the allegations that you really need to get over your stupid moral c-

Bruce: I want my lawyer.

[scene change, Tim Drake-Wayne is now sitting on the couch next to Bruce. He is wearing a suit and clutching a briefcase.]

Jason: How many people have you actually dated?

Bruce: T-

Tim: Don’t answer that, he has nothing on you.

Jason: You didn’t go to law school!

Tim: I have watched all 26 seasons of Law & Order: SVU.

Jason: He wasn’t even accused of a crime!

Tim, already standing up: Oh he wasn’t? Then we can go

Bruce, walking out of the room with Tim: Bye, Jaylad!

[scene change, Jason is sitting on the couch again with his head in his hands]

Jason, muffled: Why do I even try?

[katnissandpeetamellark]

More random Incorrect quotes 🫶

[ellieshyperfixations]

Nightcrawler, learning about Santa: Why do we need to watch out? Is Santa going to assassinate us?

Wolverine: Yeah. I mean, what do you think happens to the bad kids?

[rosamundpkes]

HELLA'S 8K CELEBRATION 🌿@laurabenanti asked "🐠👭"

The moon is rising. I am always thinking of the moon rising. I am always thinking of you.

[sandersontheside]

this is pretty much just canon

[demonparamour]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

[addamii]

Empty’s just another word for clean.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Annabeth: Percy annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow. Grover: But there's nothing special about tomorrow? Annabeth: But there is something special about watching the colour leave his face as panic takes over.

[yourbuckies]

[p4nishers]

one of the most important things terry pratchett has taught me is that it's okay to be angry. no one has ever said that to me before. he taught me that anger was an engine. that you can use that anger. that it goes hand in hand with love. he taught me to never underestimate my anger, because it's one of my strongest points. he taught me genuine anger was one of the world’s great creative forces. he taught me i shouldn't be fighting my anger, but what caused it. he himself said rage underlines everything he wrote. i never heard anger talked about so openly like that before and it's freeing, i suppose, to realize you are truly, truly not alone in your rage at the world. you never were.

[the-goddess-of-gays]

Leo: My life is like a Cinderella story in reverse. Everything was going great and then an overpowered fairytale lady showed up and fucked it all over. Annabeth: And this, dear listeners, is why we have therapy.

[sleighhethereal]

"Oh, sweet, sweet innocent [Y/N]~"

"What."

"I think you're forgetting something~"

"..."

"Come on, at least play along."

"... Oh, Monkey King, what ever did I forget?"

"You're not going anywhere until you've repaid your debt to me~"

"Debt— what? When? What the hell did I do—?"

"Oh, peaches, you're so naive. You stole something very precious from me, something I can never get back."

"It's your heart. (aawww...) I've heard this a million times. You ruin the vibe, babe. Always."

"Hehe, I ruined that pretty pu—"

"HAHA. HAAAAA."

[emptystreetsandcitylights]

bison: that's my boyfriend-to-be, put some respect on his name!

fadel: fuck if i care

[hisbucky]

Athena: With all the things that keep happening to us on this ship, you'd think Buck had come tagging along with us on the cruise. Bobby, chuckles awkwardly: Hah, yeah. Wouldn't it be funny if he was somewhere around here? Athena: ... Bobby: ... Athena: Bobby, did you sneak Buck on the ship? Bobby: I plead the fifth.