#it sort of has a plot

[thebat-musicman]

[video starts with Jason Todd-Wayne sitting on a couch and looking into the camera like he’s in a reality tv show]

Jason: Now I have known for years that people are attracted to my father, but only this week have i figured out a way to treat this: by telling everyone what Bruce is really like. If you’re still attracted to him by the end of this video, I think you should see an optometrist.

[scene changes to see Bruce Wayne on the couch, rubbing his temples already. If you turn the volume all the way up you can hear him muttering “i love my kids i love my kids i love my kids”]

Jason, now behind the camera: Bruce! What do you dream of?

Bruce: My parents d-

Jason: I said dreams, don’t get us demonetized.

Bruce: Sudoku.

Jason: You dream of sudoku?

Bruce: Is this an interrogation?

[scene change but Bruce is still on the couch. He just has coffee now]

Jason: What’s your favorite cracker flavor?

Bruce: Saltines.

Jason: Why did you pick the boring ones?

Bruce: Crackers are inherently boring

Jason: Why not cheez-its? Or something else with a little more pizazz.

Bruce: Crackers are incapable of pizazz.

[scene change, Bruce is now eating saltines]

Jason: What do you say about the allegations that you are just a piece of white bread someone doodled a face on.

Bruce: …does the bread at least have raisins?

Jason: No. Now what about the allegations that you really need to get over your stupid moral c-

Bruce: I want my lawyer.

[scene change, Tim Drake-Wayne is now sitting on the couch next to Bruce. He is wearing a suit and clutching a briefcase.]

Jason: How many people have you actually dated?

Bruce: T-

Tim: Don’t answer that, he has nothing on you.

Jason: You didn’t go to law school!

Tim: I have watched all 26 seasons of Law & Order: SVU.

Jason: He wasn’t even accused of a crime!

Tim, already standing up: Oh he wasn’t? Then we can go

Bruce, walking out of the room with Tim: Bye, Jaylad!

[scene change, Jason is sitting on the couch again with his head in his hands]

Jason, muffled: Why do I even try?

[elodieunderglass]

Horror isekai where Perceiving the Weird Eldritch Thing gets you catapulted into a nightmare labyrinth of puzzle-solving.

I.e Those Who Perceive The Hunt of the Goblin King Must Partake In The Labyrinth and Can Only Be Freed If They Complete It In One Day and One Night. By Fae Law. For Reasons.

But the definition of “perception” clearly needs to be updated because some normal guy simply films the Hunt of the Goblin King Behind Arby’s, and puts it on Facebook -

No, not instagram or TikTok, it’s important that it be Facebook -

Because the rules are pretty clear, “the rules are the rules” as is carved ominously in elvish runes above the grim gate, and the Contract is Sealed. and so therefore the guy and 25 of their most random real-life acquaintances must run the gauntlet together. It’s Some Guy, their immediate neighbors, their first partner’s mom, their friends from hobby Facebook groups (oh this poor guy and their hobbies; the elderly birdwatchers from Facebook and the young up-and-coming drag king community), their random teen kid niece, college friends, a dog who also watched the video, a couple consisting of a woman who is the guy’s Facebook friend and showed her husband the video, and the husband doesn’t even know Some Guy, so he’s in the labyrinth and absolutely furious about being forced to be involved, and they proceed to break up over the course of the puzzle.

It’s important that the narrative keeps trying to be a sexy dark horror isekai! but within this the comedic reality of Catherine, 52, the guy’s horse-riding instructor, being passionately involved in escape-room-style puzzle solving and grappling with minor goblins. They are in fact speedrunning the gauntlet.

The Goblin King finally has to say: all right, actually, I only really set all this up to fuck with one (1) guy at a time, thanks for your willingness to participate, but I think all 25 of you can consider the gauntlet fully run.

And the group would be quite hurt by that. The rules are the rules. We have a contract, actually. Let Catherine cook.

[aroaceleovaldez]

just read the plot summary for Wrath of the Triple Goddess and. wow this is. painful this just sounds painful to read.

Why is Grover the incompetent inciting incident character? That is not his narrative role ever, really. That's like, the fanon conceptualization of his character where he's reduced down to comedic relief and nothing more. He's mostly exposition and support. Why not have the inciting incident be something about Annabeth's hubris - something that has gotten the gang into situations tons of times before in a way that doesn't put down any of the characters? Heck you could have even tied it into some Sea of Monsters stuff, like Circe having told Annabeth that she'd make a good sorceress. That'd be perfect for how this book literally just exists to be advertising for s2 of PJOTV. Or maybe call-back to Percy's introduction, where he talks about how he doesn't try to cause problems but problems tend to find him. Or use the established personalities of Hecate's animal companions from HoO, since we know they have attitudes. Just what are you even doing here????

[icewindandboringhorror]

I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

[heydragonfly]

alright i know lots of folks don’t love the chaos redesign and some folks are saying they look like meg which like i get, esp with the singular wing but to me? they look like Nyx. they look like they molded their new appearance in the image of their daughter, who they’ve recently reconnected with after aeons of separation. like they have not just emotionally become more the parent of Nyx, but physically mirrored this parenthood, this embodied connection, by choice

(this relationship which they’ve now lost, leaving them alone, again)

(until a certain princess of the dead arrives)

[fairsweetlonging]

you know that scene in pirates of the caribbean the curse of the black pearl with elizabeth in the corset almost drowning? imagine that but with shen qingqiu

him, in a corset, accentuating his itty bitty waist with beautiful soft green silk robes, loitering around at a ceremony at huan hua palace, wildly fanning himself because it just seems to get warmer and warmer and the pressure on his chest is getting worse. he excuses himself from the party to get some fresh air, followed by liu qingge, who seems woefully oblivious to the hardship of his martial brother.

shen qingqiu chokes out a "it's hard to breathe", and liu qingge crosses his arms with a shrug and answers, "yes, at least the view is nice", before shen qingqiu drops over the low wall to the river below.

then he has to be saved, of course, carried to land, laid out over the dock, not breathing, and the corset has to be sliced open and torn off so he can cough up water and someone can put their outer robe over his shoulders to keep him warm and ideally carry him back inside<3

[mariyekos]

So in the Visions of V Manga, when kid Vergil's attacked he specifically shouts "Demons?!" and is confused why they're there, wanting to warn Dante and Eva about it. Since he seems immediately certain about what his attackers are, this to me says that Vergil was already aware of the existence of demons even before the attack occurred. But in DMC3, when Cerberus asks Dante if he's human, Dante responds "Who knows? I'm not even sure myself" which implies to the point of pretty much outright stating he's not sure of his heritage and thus that he's part demon.

Do people think Eva/Sparda told Vergil and only Vergil about the existence of demons because of some sort of "older brother" responsibility? Or do you think Eva/Sparda told both Dante and Vergil that demons existed, but just didn't tell them (or only didn't tell Dante, which seems messed up and less likely) that they were half demon themselves? Why does kid Vergil not seem shocked that demons exist while teen Dante isn't even sure he's part demon himself? Retcon/inconsistency, or some combination of the above?

EDIT: Thank you to @/astronomiaa for mentioning the bit in Before the Nightmare! I'd forgotten about it. In BTN Dante mentions getting sword lessons from his father, but knowing very little about him otherwise, and not knowing (or even suspecting) that Sparda was a demon. These are the four main scenarios I see coming from that:

Neither kid knew demons existed because Sparda taught them to fight and that was it,

Dante didn't know demons existed while Vergil did, but neither suspected their dad was a demon,

Both kids knew demons existed but (at least Dante) didn't suspect their dad was a demon

Theoretical fourth where Dante knows nothing and Vergil knows everything (or at least that Sparda was a demon) which could've helped guide Vergil's research where Dante just kind of lived and ran, which would make sense but is also reeeeally questionable parenting because guys your kids can't be more than a few hours apart at absolute most stop shoving so much responsibility on the older one! He might only be older by a few minutes!!!! He's 8 (eight) (or younger depending on when they told him!!!)!!!!!! That's yoo young for you to decide he can shoulder that entire burden oh my god!!!!!

Again, since Vergil's doesn't have some sort of "what the hell are these things" moment I do want to say that at least he knew demons existed, but that's not a guarantee. It could just be a situation where a kis goes "of course monsters are real!" because it makes sense and they've read scary stories rather than one where said kid's parents actually sat him down to tell him monsters/demons were Real (And potentially Out To Get Them). But it would be really interesting if Sparda and Eva gave him more information than they did Dante, especially when you consider that means Dante might've watched his life be torn apart by creatures he didn't know existed until they destroyed everything he knew and loved.

Sources/Pics of what I'm referencing under the cut.

Visions of V:

DMC3:

EDIT: Before the Nightmare

The sepia/top picture is the newer version floating around the internet, while the bottom is the old translation.

[michaeljoncarter]

sorry, i'm still hung up on how bad the writing for sarevok was in bg3. it's not even just "he's so out of character!!" bad. that is just straight up not him. literally who is this man, what the hell is he talking about, and what has he done with the actual sarevok because nothing he says makes ANY sense like....

just as one example of how wild the contradictions/retcons are, this is how bg3 has him recount his resurrection in bg2 -

and this is (parts of) how it actually happened -

like??? it's so bad and weird and dumb and for WHAT???

[stagefoureddiediaz]

You know what. I’ve realised a massive part of why I dislike tommy so much!

He’s a shape shifter.

Think about it for a moment. We know next to nothing about this dude because he just shifts into whatever role he needs to play for whomever he’s with. We know he was military but have zero context beyond that but it’s implied he was the ‘perfect’ soldier.

Under Gerrard he’s a bigoted misogynistic racist homophobe.

Gerrard leaves and he magically becomes someone who can fit in with the 118 under Bobby.

Leaves the 118 and we don’t know what he’s up to.

Reappears on the scene when the firefam show up at the hangar and becomes what they need him to be in that moment.

Is essentially actively pursuing Eddie but is quick to switch to buck when it’s clear he’s an easier target. Drops buck when bucks not ready with zero explanation but is happy to go along with what buck wants when he calls him.

Man doesn’t have a personality of his own because he just shifts into whatever he needs to be for whoever he needs to be it for.

[lord-squiggletits]

One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).

And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?

Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.

Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.

And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.

Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP

[why-the-heck-not]

what I want is a completely plotless book/tv-show/movie with characters I like just chilling & living their lives. No plot. No obstacles. Just purely character interaction

[k20spock]

god I love how fucked up whatever marcille and falin have going on. i tenderly sort through your bones and piece you back together. i never really knew you and you never really knew me.

[expectiations]

The Husbands of River Song is not and has never been about the Eleventh Doctor being a deadbeat, distant husband (gross mischaracterization by the way) and the Twelfth Doctor being the "better, more mature, affectionate" husband.

It was about River Song. It was about River and how the events in Manhattan took such a toll on her. It was about letting us see River dealing with grief the way The Snowmen showed us how the Doctor coped after losing believing he had used up all his time with River.

Looking at THORS now with The Ruby's Curse in mind, I get the instinct (for lack of a word that I cannot remember) that the Manhattan incident Blue Roach read from River's diary was not the Manhattan episode that we saw in series 7.

On that note, I'd also like to bring up the fact that the Doctor grounds River and River grounds the Doctor. As Tree talked about in one of her tags, River's empathy is more cognitive than emotional and after musing on it for a bit – considering that the Doctor can no longer go to Manhattan (which may have changed in later series but I wouldn't know at the moment because I have yet to overcome series 7b) and that River does spend time with her parents in Manhattan post-TATM, would the latest Manhattan incident in River's diary be the funeral for Amy? Amy's death? Perhaps even Anthony's? I mean, we already know Rory died five years earlier than Amy. So, knowing how deep River's love for her mother is, it's not too farfetched to say that River spent that time with them. River was by their bedsides as they drew their last breath.

Then Rory's gone, Amy's gone, Anthony's gone. Where does that leave River? Where is the Doctor? (sulking on a cloud on top of Victorian London? trying to figure out the mystery of his newest companion? all while constantly mentioning a certain Professor Song who actually turns out to be his dearly sort of departed absolutely beloved wife?)

Without her parents (and her husband) to ground her, she goes on this maddened, grieving space Robin Hood spree. She seeks fun to fill in the void and takes up marriage as a hobby/side quest. Does she look for the Doctor? Perhaps. Yes, actually. Considering she crashed her latest sort-of-husband's ship onto a planet where she purported the TARDIS to be.

But... she's stealing the TARDIS. She could have just called the Doctor, yeah? So, she doesn't want the Doctor to know then. Well... yeah, considering she has two sort-of-husbands in hand.

So, River would just have gone on from one space Robin Hood spree to the next had the TARDIS not sort-of-stranded herself on Mendorax Dellora to make sure her Water stopped being stubborn and reconcile(?) with her Thief?

Also taking note of how River has read stories about them and knows that Darillium is purported to be their last night together (I could also bring up the fact that this is why I find it easy to digest the "River meeting regenerations of the Doctor younger than the Tenth Doctor makes sense and doesn't break cannon nor ruin SITL/FOTD" but that would take a whole other post). Does this River believe her time with the Eleventh Doctor has ended? The same way series 7b Eleven believed his time with older versions of River has ended? Is this all part of some grand fuckup in communication all thanks to their tangled timelines?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But has River not just been running from her family's death? Has River been running from her supposed last night with the Doctor?

"But River doesn't run." Oh yes. Yes, she does. She knows when to stand her ground. She knows when to charge. And she knows when to run.

"That's out of character for her." No, it's not. She's not invincible. She's this well trained assassin, yes. But invincible? No.

Invincible from the tendency to be blinded by their emotions? Obviously not.

River lies. And River runs.

She is not afraid of her death. She is afraid of the day when her husband, her Doctor, looks into her eyes and looks right through her. And it shouldn't kill her but it does. It did.

So she ran and ran until her bigger-on-the-inside Mum gently reached out and put her back together with the only person left who could ground her. Who she didn't recognize at first but still fell in love with (and would have loved even if he hadn't been revealed to be her actual, long missing husband). Who finally found out their last night wasn't just any night – it was a twenty-four year long last night. Who finally gave her a breather from all the running she'd been doing.

And oh what a night that was (it was the talk of the universe).

[aphel1on]

neuvillette's lore is actually insane. we all took one look at him and went "haha dragon🫵" but i significantly underestimated how big of a role he would play. he's the incarnation of the original hydro sovereign. he took back his rule right under the heavenly principles' nose. he's the one handing out hydro visions now (not even because he has to, he doesn't, he just grew so fond of humanity that he chooses to). he gave away the hydro gnosis bc he straight up doesn't need it. he's planning to DETHRONE ALL OF THE ARCHONS (in a few hundred years, when the traveler's not around to see it, so it won't be awkward for them). he's kind and soft-spoken. he's full of vengeful rage. he's a father to hundreds. he found his purpose after feeling lost for 500 years. skirk pulled him aside for a super-secret convo and when he saw us again he immediately spilled the tea. as far as i can tell, he spawned into existence fully formed. no other character can fucking compare

[zer0point5ive]

it’s the picture of diana in lawrence’s wallet with her arms wrapped around a dog, it’s the horse riding awards in her bedroom and and the snake toy she has draped over her headboard .. it’s adam who wanted so badly to be a vet, adam who loves cats and brings them saucers of milk despite there being barely anything in his fridge .. it’s them bonding over their love of animals, diana showing adam her amazing animal facts book and adam asking for one every time he sees her, it’s adam saving up his own money so he can surprise her with a trip to the zoo for their next adam-and-diana day when lawrence and alison are at work and need someone to watch her, it’s him taking his camera, getting pictures of her with her favorite animals and developing them, it’s diana telling adam she wants to be a vet when she grows up and him getting excited, grabbing lawrence’s stethoscope when diana says she wants to play vets and taking his job oh so seriously when diana says that he’s gotta be her assistant, it’s .. its ..

[alxastrx]

When you're one of the most selfish mc who only saves people because it's part of a job you never wanted and did not get to chose or you would've died, who took your co-workers' morals and ideals because you didn't have any and desperately wanted to fit in somewhere, be it with the heroes or the villains, who's activelly haunted by one the most tragic past to have been created and suffer from a psychosis so bad (dare I say schizophrenia) that even your enemies acknowledged that you are mentally ill and objectively flawed in your judgement, never hesitated to try to kill anyone and has the most egoistic reason to be a good person but the fandom still thinks you're just a kind crybaby "I don't know what a gun is" homosexual twink.