freddie-77-ao3

[freddie-77-ao3]

all children of hephaestus are terrible drivers. yes i know it's not canon and leo could fly the helicopter I DON'T CARE. if it's a vehicle and they didn't make it themself, or their sibling didn't make it and actually give them permission to use it, they're shit out of luck. gonna look like it's their first time driving ever.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Annabeth: We're going to be working with Magnus today. Sadie, who only half paid attention: Magnus? Didn't the Norse kill him? Percy: I'll ask. Percy, yelling: HEY MAGNUS DID YOU GET MURDERED? Magnus, from the other room: YEAH! Annabeth: See? Carter: That answered no questions. I have more questions now.

[freddie-77-ao3]

if anyone's wondering how i'm doing, i opened my airpod case, realised only one airpod was in the case, and just spent literally 15 minutes looking for it. i was singing along to the music playing from it the entire time. i uh. so how are yall doing?

[freddie-77-ao3]

malcolm: listen i promised not to lie to you again-- connor: you did? connor: again? connor: no wait "again" checks out, idk why i'm questioning that but when did you do that??

[freddie-77-ao3]

Connor: It’s going to be okay, Malcolm. Malcolm, shrugging: Sure. Connor: You really think so???

[freddie-77-ao3]

Michael: I have a theory why all this bad stuff has been happening to us lately. It’s karma. We were bad people, and now the universe is making us pay the price. Clarisse, still in shock: I just found 118 thousand dollars. Michael: Hey, universe? Screw you.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Travis: Isn’t Malcolm the most negative person you’ve ever met? Katie: Absolutely. Drew: I mean, he's not wrong, though. His life is genuinely terrible. Malcolm: You know what, Travis? I guess I don’t live in a world where I smile and people do what I want them to do. Connor: You never smile. Malcolm: A smile is a sign of weakness.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Michael: It’s been nice, you know, just to relax. Not worrying about, I don’t know, fighting for anyone? Clarisse: Yeah! You know what? We don’t need them. We don’t need anybody because we’re Clarisse and Michael, this camp's best-est, most titillating-est, most exciting-est friends ever! [raises their bagel in excitement] Bagel: [splosh] Clarisse: Oh, shit, I got cream cheese on my good hoodie :(

[freddie-77-ao3]

Annabeth: Don’t worry, I’m not staying. Malcolm, sarcastically: Yeah, why discuss your problem when you can storm off in a pious rage? Annabeth: Exactly! [storms off in a pious rage]

[freddie-77-ao3]

The big three kids playing monopoly after HoO

Percy: what is WRONG with you?! Thalia: a lot actually, see— Percy, tearing up: same!! Nico: what kind of hell was I born into?

[freddie-77-ao3]

Percy: the eagles won last night Beckendorf: oh did you watch the game Percy: *covered in blood and scratches* what game

[freddie-77-ao3]

The Big Three Kids + Artemis

Nico has two sisters. The first one joined the hunters of Artemis.

Jason has a sister. She joined the hunters of Artemis.

ESTELLE. ESTELLE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING SO FUNNY

[freddie-77-ao3]

northern lights are made of plasma. you know what else is made of plasma? lightings. following that train of thought, can jason produce northern lights?

[freddie-77-ao3]

"The average man thinks of the roman empire 5 times a day" factoid is actually a statistical error. Jason Grace, who thinks about the Roman Empire every second of every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

[freddie-77-ao3]

will: I read somewhere that biting into a lemon can help end a panic attack by making you focus on your senses and now all I can imagine is encountering a stressful situation in work, pulling a lemon out of my pocket and biting into it, all while maintaining eye contact with someone. Chiron: perfect. Have fun running the infirmary as a ten year old. I have no concerns whatsoever.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Percy: instead of dry January I'm doing why January. it's where every day i stand in the middle of the street & scream WHY GOD WHY

[freddie-77-ao3]

Malcolm: sex? HAH. No. malcolm: third base is when I have a panic attack in front of you.