#self-reading

[littleghostytarot]

Be careful when you ask questions to your cards because some decks care more to give the truth that will hit you hard vs being evasive.

Today I asked my newer deck The Fox Universe Tarot about “Who taught me to hate myself?”

The answer:

XV - The Sage // Community

0 - The Newborn // Growth

To me, the answer came clearly as “the community around me, the people who were suppose to know better, struggling under the veil of their own illusions, with their hearts out, and a clawed for the world around them, yes, they saw you in your little loveliness, a baby, new and unknowing. They tried to pick you up, but with their heart in one hand, and a claw made of the other, there was no room for you there. Other hands tried, but they were just as scattered, through death, through preoccupation, uneven, and reluctant, yes. They could not hold you as you needed.”

When we ask questions like this of ourselves, of our lives, it’s important to follow it up with empowering ourselves.

“How have I worked to detangle this notion?”

The answer:

V - The Mystic // Sprituality

VI - The Betrothed // Relationship

IV - The Stranger // Character

Ah, see? That’s how you soothe yourself. And how powerful that it’s the 3 major arcana grouped around important early journey concepts. Typically in the Rider Waite those correlate to The Hierophant, The Lovers, and The Emperor , but in this deck it’s a little different and equally special. You see, I cared and saved myself through spirituality, through never stopping going through hands and hands till there was equality, and especially, I did it from the innate qualities that made me /me/ from birth. Those qualities got burried, but i dug them out from my shadow, from the flowers on my crown and hand I found the nuggets of clarity, wisdom, and love there was in the impermanent people in my life, and the snake with me since birth continued to watch me, loving me, and accepting me as I took this path one step at a time.

Be gentle with yourselves everyone, seek truth with self-compassion and tenderness.

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[free-my-mindd]

This is how you move on

[bishy437]

oh, please don’t go!

i’ll eat you up i love you so!

[sunlitsoil]

there is always tomorrow

[shisasan]

June, 1936 Journals of Anais Nin 1934-1939 [volume 2]

[simplyjustagirlsblog]

[4theitgirls]

youtube channels to motivate you this semester

♡ abao in tokyo - study with me’s & playlists

♡ advika singh - study & productivity vlogs

♡ allie c. - medical school vlogs

♡ carrot td - study with me’s

♡ celine - study with me’s

♡ deaana - medical school, study with me’s, stationary, etc.

♡ dear mimi - study vlogs

♡ dia - medical student vlogs

♡ dr. rachel southard, do - medical school & residency vlogs & talks

♡ emily feng - medical school vlogs

♡ emilystudying - dental school & study vlogs

♡ emma grace - nursing school vlogs

♡ emmalilyn - study with me’s

♡ ginny - study vlogs

♡ hyobin - medical student vlogs

♡ leighton sanders - nursing vlogs

♡ lucky penny - study with me’s

♡ lunardazes. - uni study vlogs

♡ madi’s nursing journey - nursing school & nursing vlogs

♡ mango oatmilk - study with me’s

♡ maria silva - study & hospital interning vlogs

♡ merve - study with me’s

♡ mishujo - study & productive vlogs

♡ nada - study & productivity vlogs

♡ ray hon - study with me’s

♡ sab yang - medical school & study vlogs

♡ sean study - study with me’s

♡ sierra lyn - nursing vlogs

♡ studymd - study with me’s

♡ study to success - stationary, study with me’s, study hacks, etc.

♡ tani study - study with me’s

♡ yours truly, chloe - study vlogs

♡ yulma - study with me’s

[lgbtlunaverse]

There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.

[raddestrose]

Shoutout to Shen Yuan the only man who actually read porn for the plot

[lone-nyctophile]

~ Whitney Hanson

[maiarosa]

[badolmen]

They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.

[mielplante]

mobei jun mochi pounder save us-

[meltedmush]

Sorry! 😭

[stuckinapril]

One thing I’ve noticed about people in or entering their 30s is they don’t make as many compromises anymore. If someone doesn’t meet them halfway, is not up to standard, is just not where they’re needed to be, they’re just like “ok cool” and they move on from the person. Which is not to say they’re less empathetic or understanding, but more that they have learned that time is their most prized possession and they’re not willing to make massive compromises on it. They are not obsessed w the idea of fixing someone (bc the concept of fixing a person doesn’t really exist). They simply move on to someone who is up to par. I want that. I want to always move w the awareness that time is my most priceless belonging and I can never buy it back. Ever. So I have to use it wisely