#progressive disorders

[duality-disability]

happy disability pride month to those with degenerative/progressive disabilites:

-Those who know what their disability is and why its getting worse

-Those whos disability hasnt been diagnosed yet but the symptoms and degenerative nature of their illness is still taking effect

-and those who have to watch their bodies steadily decline while their healthcare professionals refuse to treat them (for no fault of their own)

-to the ones who are told they are too young to have their body declining

-'too young' to be using their mobility aids, or seeing certain specialists, or who notice they're the youngest patients in certain clinics by years if not decades

You deserve to be seen, and heard, and supported; You deserve kindness and respect and to be taken seriously about your medical concerns and the nature of your disability/ies

having a degenerative disease can be really fucking scary, I wish that tomorrow is kinder than today was.

[greenhairedfreakglobal]

if nicocado avocado can do it, so can i

[iamtoast2]

Your stomach is not growling because you are hungry

It is applauding you.

[muttren]

i have a disability. more specifically, i have a rare genetic condition called camurati-engelmann’s disease, or CED. it is also known as progressive diaphyseal dysplasia (PDD). it is an extremely rare disorder and only around 300 cases have been reported worldwide.

i figured i would make a post talking about it, in an effort to not only educate others, but to possibly connect with others who suffer from it as well. i apologize for the longer post but please this moment to learn about my disorder.

CED is a skeletal condition that is characterized by abnormally thick bones (hyperostosis) in the arms, legs and skull. the overgrowth in bone causes bone pain, muscle weakness and extreme fatigue. the pain feels like an electric stabbing pain, an ever-increasing pressure sensation around the bones affected, or a constant aching. pain can also occur in joints and they will often lock-up, becoming immobile and stiff. the pain is especially severe during 'flare-ups', which can be unpredictable, exhausting and last anywhere from a few hours to several weeks. this is a common occurrence for us, often causing extensive sleep deprivation from the chronic, severe and disabling pain. when this happens, we are often bedridden or housebound for days or even weeks.

those affected also have an unsteady walk and limp. thickening of the skull can also lead to neurological problems, like hearing loss, vision issues, vertigo and tinnitus. symptoms vary in severity from person to person. there are treatments, however it cannot be cured. pain management is a large aspect of living with this chronic disease.

there is very little awareness and research for CED. rare diseases are severely neglected and overlooked, as are those who suffer and live with them. research is often not considered profitable due to their cost to develop and the limited patient population. major federal funding agencies give preference to research that is likely to have a direct impact on patients.

living with a rare disease is extremely difficult and isolating. it impacts the lives of millions of us and our loved ones worldwide. those of us suffering from rare medical conditions should be entitled to the same quality of treatment as other patients. i am disabled, but i am worth it.

[bonefall]

⭕️Hey Bones! Is it ok if you explain and/or elaborate how Crowfeather is abusive to Breezepelt if please?⭕️

I do KNOW that crowfeather is indeed, abusive to Breezepelt, due to the fact that he emotionally and/or physically neglected him - with child neglect being known to BE a form of child abuse - and I also heard that he slashed and/or hit him within one of the books, which I believe is in the book Outcast, in chapter 16.

But I also wish people would talk and be informed about it more within the fandom, because in the parts of the fandom I’ve known portrayed Crowfeather’s neglect on Breezepelt as negative and bad, but not in a way that made me think and/or feel: “Wow, that’s pretty bad. That’s…actually abusive.” I suppose? So I hope more people will talk about it more in that type of way.

Also, please be aware that I have NOT read PoT, OoTS, etc. or barely any warrior cats books, since the majority of the information I got from the series is from the wiki and the fandom, so that probably explains why I didn’t know this part of Crowfeather’s character is as bad as it actually is until now. Also, feel free to talk about Crowfeather’s abuse on Breezepelt I haven’t mentioned and/or don’t know right now as well if you want.

I’m SO sorry that if this ask is unintentionally quite long, and feel free to make sure to take all the time you need to answer it. Thank you!

OH LET'S GOOOO

Breezepelt is both physically and emotionally abused by Crowfeather. I'm not talking about only child neglect; he is screamed at, belittled, and even once hit on-screen.

The fact that Crowfeather both neglected and abused him is very important to the canonical story of Breezepaw. There's actually a lot more to this character than people remember! Even from his first appearances he displays good qualities, a strained relationship with his father and adult clanmates, and is clearly shown to be troubled before we understand why.

As many problems as I have with the direction of Breezepelt's arc (especially Crowfeather's Trial), his setup is legitimately a praiseworthy bit of writing from Po3 which carries over into OotS. To say that Breezepelt was not abused is to completely miss two arcs worth of books SCREAMING it.

BIG POST. Glossary;

INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River

ABUSE: Outcast, Social Alienation, the Tribe Journey.

DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.

For "brevity," I'm not getting into anything post-OotS. I'm just showing that Breezepelt was abused, the narrative wants you to know that he was abused, and that his status as a victim of child abuse is CENTRAL to understanding why he is training in the Dark Forest.

INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River

Our very first introduction to Breeze is when Jaypaw walks off a cliff in the first book of Po3 and is rescued by a WindClan patrol. He's making snarky remarks, and Whitetail and Crowfeather are not happy about it. Whitetail snaps for Crow to teach his son some manners, and Crow growls for Breezepaw to be quiet.

But our proper introduction to him is at his announcement gathering, when Heatherpaw playfully introduces him as a friend,

From the offset something's not entirely right here between Breezepaw and his father. He's cut off by Heatherpaw here, but he's touchy whenever his father is involved, and we're not entirely sure why.

Throughout Book 1, he's just rude, with a notable xenophobic streak. He's a bit of a mean rival character for Lionpaw, as they're both interested in the affections of Heatherpaw and make bids to get her attention, but nothing particularly violent yet.

He participates in the beloved Kitty Olympics and gets buried in liquid dirt with Lionpaw, basically a rite of passage for any arc.

(And Nightcloud has a cute moment where she watches over them until they fall asleep)

As the books progress, the relationship between Crow and Breeze visibly deteriorates. They start from being simply tense with each other in The Sight, to the open shouting and hitting we see in Outcast.

In the very first chapter of Dark River, we learn where his behavioral issues are really coming from;

Crowfeather.

Breezepelt is getting xenophobia from his father. Occasionally he says something bigoted and his dad will agree and chime in, and those are the only positive moments they have together.

(Note: In contrast, Nightcloud explicitly pushes back against xenophobia, chiding Breezepelt for his rudeness to Lionpaw in back in The Sight, Chapter 21. The Sight is the book where a lot of "evidence" that the Evil Overbearing Woman is actually responsible for the rift between father and son but. No. She's not. Though she can be overprotective; Crow and Breeze have a bad relationship when she's not even around in Breeze's first appearance and even his Crowfeather's Trial Epiphany refutes it. Anyway this post isn't about Nightcloud.)

So he starts acting on his bigotry, accusing cats in other Clans of stealing, running really close to the border. What's interesting though, is that this is not entirely his doing. The first time we get physical trouble from Breezepaw, DUSTPELT aggressed it. Breezepaw and Harepaw were just chasing a squirrel and hadn't yet gone over the border at all.

We learn that WindClan is teaching its apprentices how to hunt in woodland, and tensions between the two Clans is starting to escalate as ThunderClan isn't entirely trusting of their intentions.

The second time, fighting breaks out over him and Harepaw actually crossing the border and catching a squirrel. WindClan is adamant that because it came from their land, it's their squirrel. So it's as if Breezepaw is modelling the aggression around him, learning how to behave from the older warriors and his father.

When he joins Heatherpaw and The Three to go find Gorsetail's kits in the tunnels, he's grouchy towards the ThunderClan cats, but very gentle with the kittens. Notably so. When Thistlekit is dangerously cold, he cuddles up next to her, and even assures Swallowkit when she's scared,

Through this entire excursion, he's the one in the comforting roles for the kittens. Breezepaw is the one who is taking time to tell the kits they'll be okay, that he'll protect them, and physically supporting them when they're weak, even when he's terrified.

And it's always contrasted to Heatherpaw who's way more 'disciplined,' as a side note. It's a detail I'm just fond of.

All this to point out,

Breezepelt displays his best qualities when he's away from the older warriors of WindClan, and he's at his worst whenever he's near Crowfeather. Even while he's essentially just a bully character for The Three to deal with. He's gruff but cooperative when it's just him and Heatherpaw interacting with The Three, but mean when there is an adult to please.

We're getting to the on-screen abuse now, but Po3 actually sets up Breezepaw's troubles and dynamics well before it's finally confirmed that he is a victim of child abuse.

ABUSE: Outcast, the Tribe Journey.

In Outcast, Breezepaw's problems have escalated into open aggression towards cats of other Clans, and is now a legitimate concern for his own safety. Yet, he's spoken over by older warriors, and reprimanded at nearly every opportunity, right in front of the warrior of another Clan.

Squilf just asked the poor kid how his training was going, and then Whitetail JUMPS to talk over him so she can complain, RIGHT in front of his face.

They can't even wait until they're alone to grumble something rude about Breezepaw, who is still just a teenager here;

They taught him already that a bit of prey that runs off their own territory still belongs to WindClan, encourage him to blow past borders in pursuit, and started a battle with ThunderClan over this. And then they're pissed off at him for being aggressive, thinking it's deserved to scold him in public.

When Onestar announces that he wants Breezepaw to go on the Tribe Journey, he's devastated by it...

Because he thinks WindClan doesn't like him, and he's right. He's gossiped about, torn into in front of a ThunderClan warrior, and even his own dad doesn't want to be around him. It's clear that Breezepaw's impulsive "codebreaking" behaviors are a desire to prove himself, and once you realize that, the way that he's being alienated is heartbreaking.

But Wait!! Hold on a minute! Where did he get a "patrol of apprentices" from to confront the dogs with, exactly?

Simple. Breezepaw CAN make friends! He actually values them a lot! So much that it's the first thing Crowfeather snaps at him over, out of frustration that his son is also being forced on this journey with him. It's an angry response to his child having emotional and physical needs, resentment that will continue all journey long.

Note that it's plural, friends. Breezepelt has multiple friends, at least one who is not Heatherpaw, and she promises to say goodbye to them.

Up next, they state over and over, Crowfeather and Breezepaw do not like each other. Crowfeather resents being around him and dealing with his rudeness, embarrassed and angry, and Breezepaw is absolutely miserable being sent on a journey to the mountains with a man who hates his guts.

The whole while, Crowfeather is brooding longingly about Feathertail, already thinking about her as soon as he kitty-kisses Nightcloud goodbye, his eyes looking somewhere distant. He makes a jab about loyalty when Breezepaw doesn't understand why they're helping the Tribe.

Breezepaw gets smacked after he's "shoved" at Purdy and acts rude to him, while the other three manage to be polite (while still having internal dialogue about how stinky he is).

Without so much as a, "cut that out," Crowfeather raises his paw and hits him. Breeze is quiet after that.

I don't give a shit how rude your teenager is being. Do not hit kids. Being throttled on the head is not okay.

In spite of the Three not liking Breezepaw, or even Crowfeather, they're constantly noting that their arguments are not normal, and that Crow is a cold, unsupportive father who digs into his kid constantly, and the only time he ever DOES "discipline" his child it's through immediately smacking him.

At one point, the apprentices get hungry, and decide to foolishly hunt in a barn that they know has dogs in it against Purdy's warnings. Once again, JUST like the first two books, Breezepaw is more friendly when Crowfeather is not around.

EVERY time he is alone with cats his own age, he's grumpy but cooperative. Even enthusiastic at times! The minute Crowfeather is in the picture, he's nasty.

Naturally, the dogs show up, but Purdy rescues them. Though Brambleclaw also chews his kids out (and i have strong opinions about bramble's parenting style for another time), Hollypaw is taken aback by the contrast of what a scolding from Brambleclaw looks like vs how Crowfeather reacts.

The narrative is desperately trying to tell you that the way Crowfeather treats his son is not normal.

And then Crowfeather is pissed off that Breezepaw is exhausted from running for his life from hungry dogs,

And he's constantly losing his shit whenever Breezepaw says something as innocuous as "dad im hungry"

Then, Breezepaw is made to watch his dad pine over the grave of a woman who died long before Crowfeather was even considering his mother for a mate. What he feels is jealousy, because he knows his own father doesn't love him anywhere near as much as he loves the memory of Feathertail.

This really goes on and on and on. The ENTIRE trip is like this, with Crowfeather treating Breezepelt poorly, giving him a smack before even verbally warning him, pushing him past his limits and blowing up on him when he asks simple questions about eating or resting.

It all comes to a head in this one exchange, towards the end. Hollypaw ends up snapping at Breezepaw for his rudeness, before having an epiphany.

It's explicit. Crowfeather's emotional abuse, his "scorn" for Breezepelt, is what is driving a wedge between him and all of his older Clanmates. Between EVERYONE in Breezepelt's life who wasn't already his friend. This awful treatment is only making him worse and worse.

Realizing this, she has more sympathy for him, but it's too late. He continues to be rude to her because he feels insulted, and her patience completely runs out. She's just a kid. They're both just kids. She's not responsible for fixing him when he's pushing everyone away at this point.

That's the end of Breezepelt in Outcast. It can't be helped anymore. Any spark of friendship they had together in the barn, or in the tunnels, is gone.

As the series progresses, Crowfeather continues to refuse any personal responsibility for the mistreatment of his son, even pinning all of Breezepelt's behavioral problems on Nightcloud. He is a cold, selfish father who only ever thinks about his own pain and reputation.

DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.

Everyone talks about the Attack on Poppyfrost, which happens in the first book of OotS, in oversimplified terms. YES he is going after a nun and a pregnant woman. I've never said that's not Bad.

But no one talks about "WHY", and that reason is NOT just that he desires power like so many other WC villains. Breezepelt makes his motivation very clear on the page.

Escalating to violence was about making Jayfeather feel the way that he does.

When Breezepelt says that he wants Jay to be surrounded by "lies, hatred, and things that should never have happened," he's talking about the way HE grew up, knowing his father never wanted him, and that his Clan HATES him as a result. Killing Poppyfrost is about trying to frame Jayfeather for her murder, so ThunderClan won't trust him anymore.

When Jayfeather points out the simple truth that what Breezepelt is saying doesn't make any goddamn sense, his hatred "falters." He's blaming his half-clan half-brother for his own treatment because of the reveal, but totally failed to consider that JAYFEATHER'S ALREADY GOING THROUGH IT... so his response is just this pitiful, "s-shut up, man."

Then the ghost of Brokenstar and Breezepelt bounce him back and forth between them like a beach ball for a bit until Honeyfern's spirit shows up.

Breezepelt's childhood abuse and social alienation was a hook that the Dark Forest latched onto, to reel him in. His anger at his half-brother is so obviously misplaced that its absurdity was something Jayfeather pointed out.

We soon learn that it's the Dark Forest who's planting that ridiculous idea in his head;

The narration is SCREAMING, "The Dark Forest is validating the anger he feels towards his father, and redirecting it towards The Three." He's described as 'kitlike,' Tigerstar's eyes are compared to a hypnotizing snake.

This prose could not make it more obvious if it drove to your house, beat you with it, and then spoon fed you the point while you were hospitalized.

At the end of this scene, Tigerstar sends Hawkfrost to recruit Ivypaw. This scene where Breezepelt is being lovebombed, and the command to start grooming Ivypaw, ARE LINKED. That was a choice.

A VERY GOOD choice! Again, as many issues as I have with OotS, its handling of indoctrination is unironically fantastic, and it owes a good amount of that to the outstanding setup of Breezepelt that was done back in Po3. And that setup doesn't work if Crowfeather was merely distant.

Breezepelt was abused by his father, both verbally and physically. It drove him to be more aggressive to prove himself, modeling the battle culture around him. The adults of WindClan judged him based off Crowfeather's responses, shunning and belittling the 'problem' teenager, which eventually drove Breezepelt to the only group that he felt "understood" him.

In a book series that is RIFE with abuse apologia, this is one of the few times that there's any behavioral consequences for abuse and the narrative holds the perpetrator accountable for it.

But people hear Crowfeather's deflective excuse in The Last Hope where he says he never hated him, blames Nightcloud for everything, and just lick it up uncritically.

Gee whiz, I wonder why the guy who never blames himself for any of his problems would suddenly say it was his ex-wife's fault. Real headscratcher!

(Crowfeather's Trial then goes onto, for all my own problems with it, also hold Crow accountable as the reason why Breezepelt turned out like he did. But that's a topic for another day.)

[toxiccwaist]

TW

Why does mǐa make me feel so good. I haven’t in a while but the past 3 days she’s back fr.

I know it does more harm, it’s not even for the wl. I just fkin love the feeling. I love it to the point I’ll eat just so I can straight after, I crave it.

[xxstarsssxx]

I'm meeting with my grandma and other relatives and one of them said "How are you so tiny?! Are u even related to us?" Like sorry I'm not overweight like all of you😭😭😭

[skinnandbones333]

Pretty girls don't eat <3

[bitchysharkcat]

“you’re not okay you barely eat you barely sleep you don’t like talking to your friends something is wrong”

um no i’m just getting in my girlie teen girl tumblr blogging era 🙄

[caffeinatedopossum]

I actually find it really bizarre and counter intuitive that clinically speaking, you cannot legally be diagnosed with a personality disorder until you're at least 18. The reason given for this is because "the personality has not fully developed before this age" like ???

Ah yes, my favorite strategy. Not diagnosing the problem until it's already been virtually cemented into your brain for life! Wouldn't it be easier (and more painless) to address the problem before it's fully developed?

[bulemicvinny]

A magreza sempre vai ser mais linda e delicada. A mulher magra é frágil, pequena, leve, bonita, cheirosa, limpa, fofa e angelical. A mulher gorda é nojenta, feia, fedorenta, grande, nada delicada... que homem iria querer pegar algo para você? Nenhum, afinal você tem força o suficiente. Quem teria inveja do seu corpo? Ninguém, por que seu corpo é grande, pesado e flácido. Quem teria desejo por você? Aquele garoto que não vai ser! Aprenda, magreza sinônimo de beleza!!!! 🎀💞

[greenhairedfreakglobal]

finally experiencing pretty privilege, I can't back down now. I HAVE to continue. I need to make ana proud

[iamtoast2]

I lost ANA for a little bit, but she is back.

I feel dizy, and I know my fasting is working.

I missed this feeling.

Honestly, it is so much better to just not eat and feel better than eat and feel like a pig after.

I just tell myself:

"I can't eat until I clean my room"

"I can't eat until I shower"

"Just a few more hours, i can't break my fast"

"I will just wait until dinner"

[c0ke-0-my-beloved]

current dilemma is that I have a dress that fits me perfectly now, but the event it’s for is September 28th… if I lose no more than five pounds by then do we think it’ll still fit??

[vamprisms]

sometimes in life you have to trick your brain into thinking it's video games

[b3lleb4biee]

𝐖𝐈𝐄𝐈𝐀𝐃: 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞 🩷

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲: 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚 & 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬

these are definitely becoming a daily thing I don't think I'll stop. it's nice to know I can look back on these and so this is the new layout (I know it's more aesthetically pleasing 🤍).

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 🩶

· Hot Chocolate (w/25ml milk): 44kcal

· Mashed Potatoes (homemade): 104kcal

· Doughnut: 223kcal

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐎𝐎𝐍 🩶

· Toast: 104kcal

· Lemonade: 32kcal

· Fruit Chews (2): 46kcal

· Dark Chocolates (3): 92kcal

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 🩶

· Pasta (purg3d half): 133kcal

𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 🩶

I went on a walk and brought my net to 650kcals which felt like a bit of a letdown after I did so well yesterday. Purg1ng came so easily to me today but I was admittedly nervous beforehand. I'm quickly becoming desensitised to it to the point that I did it and left as quickly as I'd gone in, completely unphased. I listened to music all day, mostly the same song. Life feels to be falling into place.