#platonic bartylus

[my-castles-crumbling]

injury - @rosekillermicrofic - word count: 240 - very NSFW

Regulus sighed as he looked his friend over, trying to figure out where he'd gone wrong in life. ".....and at what point did you decide that this was a bad idea?" he asked, massaging the bridge of his nose and praying for the strength not to wring Barty's neck.

"Right around the time we both finished, and we realized we needed help," Barty said with a lewd grin, waggling his eyebrows. "Up until that point, it seemed like a great plan."

Regulus had to turn away from him and take a few deep breaths. "And you came to me, because?" he asked, clenching his fist.

"Because Evan and I aren't as good at Vanishing Charms, obviously," Barty explained, like it was the simplest thing in the world. "You're much more skilled in them. I didn't want to accidentally Vanish my colon or something."

He weighed his options. He could lie and say he couldn't do it, and send Barty to St. Mungos. But he absolutely knew he could do it, and if he did, Barty would owe him a favor. "So you came to me," he confirmed.

"Who better than your best friend to get something out of your ar-"

Regulus interrupted him with a stony glare. "Fine. But you owe me. And the next time you come to me with a sex-related injury, I will decapitate you. Alright?"

"Aye, aye, Reggie!" Barty sang, already moving to unbutton his pants.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Jamie, Barty has something to say to you *pushes Barty towards James*

Barty: *rubs the back of his neck*

James: Uhh

Barty:I just wanted to say I was wrong about you and basically wanted to apologies,

James: Oh..

Barty: Yeah so ‘unfuck’ you or whatever.

Regulus: *facepalms*

James: That was beautiful Barty

[tyyjaimiee]

Regulus Black who dyes his blond hair black to look more like his brother.

Regulus Black who feels hurt and betrayed by his brother who suddenly stops talking to him.

Regulus who dyes two blond streaks back into his hair to look more like his cousin, Narcissa… more like to look less like Sirius.

Regulus Black and Barty Crouch Jr. who both can’t stand their blond hair because of the people it reminds them of. Regulus and Barty, one with blond streaks and one with green.

Regulus, who suddenly can’t stand to see as much as a strand of blond hair on his own head. So he dyes them green instead, just like Barty. Now they both have dark hair with the same colour streaks.

Evan Rosier, who suddenly isn’t as happy with his blond hair as he used to be. He watches his two best friends get along more and more, and it pains him. It pains him so. He just can’t stand the thought of losing them both… losing Barty.

[rudamaruda520]

[first day of school]

Introvert Regulus: 😒

Extrovert Barty: Oh, you're cool. You're mine now.

[not-rab]

Regulus: *wears dark grey*

Barty: I see you’re breaking out the spring colours

[moondustinfj]

*Regulus fake dating Barty to make James jealous*

Barty *in a fake accent* : Regulus, love, you'll have to introduce me

Barty: *wraps his arms around Regulus' neck*

Regulus: Of course. This is James

James *looking between them* : Hi

Barty * taking James' hand* : Sorry, Jim?

James *annoyed*: It's James.

Barty: Jacob? Jacques? Giacomo?

Regulus: James

Barty: Ooooh ok, fancy

James: It was...nice to meet you

Barty: So nice to meet you too Hamish

[themarvelmarauder]

Regulus: before you hear some dirty lies from someone else, yes I'm dating a gryffindor

Barty: Aw, i knew you'd get with James

Regulus: ha ha ha

Barty: does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?

Regulus: see another bed in here?

Barty: Oh yeah, you're totally my bitch forever

Regulus: so, about the whole gryffindor thing don't tell too many people

Barty: hey, you know me

Regulus: I mean don't tell my brother

Barty: *starts texting Sirius* you know me

Regulus: who are you texting? *phone starts ringing*

Sirius, on the phone: A GRYFFINDOR?! MY BEST FRIEND?! SCANDAL!

Regulus: that's not true. Who told you?

Sirius: Barty duh!

Regulus: that gossipy bitch

Barty: you know me

Regulus: BARTY!

[noblehouseofgay]

I think

Ship whatever you want (within reason, don't be disgusting)

But

I also wish we focused on platonic ships more sometimes yk

Give me two people who are just super close friends. They don't fuck. They don't kiss. They're just super super close in a different way. They're just friends. And sometimes its ok for that

All kinds of love are important <3

[birdieardley]

Real footage of Barty adopting Regulus the first time they met.

[siriusblackdevotee]

Sirius + forced Jegulus break up

...I want Sirius walking in on Jegulus and then forces them to break up, without realizing it was a break up because he thought they were just friends with benefits.

Like, he knows Regulus, he knows James and he knows his own platonic feelings for James. He just knew that eventually Regulus would see why Sirius was so attached to James. They were two peas in a pod in that craving-for-affection department.

And if they were fucking, he just knew Regulus would eventually fall for James.

It would be great for both of his brothers to actually date (...what a sentence), he'd actually prefer that and thought they'd be a match made in beaven. But unfortunately, last he checked, James was not interested in Regulus or anyone for that matter. He would have told him otherwise, right?

So it was going to end horribly on Regulus's end so by that logic, he forced them to end it. He didn't think he did anything wrong, in fact he pats himself on the back as he basically prevented his brother's future heartbreak.

He would say something like "he's not good for you/you're not good for him/I just know this wouldn't end well." He'd be very evasive or vague about it because obviously, he can't say "my brother might fall for you/you might fall for James"

But then it'd also be said in a way that... to James and Regulus, who thinks Sirius knows about their relationship now, he has no hope for them?? Does not trust them?? Does not believe in them?? Or doesn't like them for the other?? Or does not like them??

Basically they hear "You aren't good for each other." And it like, fucks them up because it's coming from Sirius. He matters to both of them immensely and by extension, his opinion.

Regulus thinks Sirius is disapproving him for James. Can't be James because James is the embodiment of the sun and he can't be bad for anyone so it must be him.

It's him that's incompatible and could somehow hurt James in the future and that's one of his already existing biggest fears or that he wouldn't be good enough for James which is his insecurity. So Sirius saying that further solidifies it??

Whereas James obviously doesn't think that because he personally knows Sirius would never think of his brother that way and he knows Sirius physically can't think of the worst of himself.

So to him Sirius' disapproval meant it was about their relationship. He didn't want them dating and if James didn't have Sirius's approval, he can't be with Regulus at all. No going behind Sirius' back either because the guilt was far too much to handle compared to the pleasure of being in Regulus' company.

So they...break up and Sirius is happy that they stop fucking!! He stays oblivious to the hurt and chaos he caused!!

When he notices Regulus Not Doing Well, he just brushes it off as him being upset he couldn't have James or that he was already slightly falling for James and wishes he could be closer.

He only realizes he may have fucked up when James, who should not be in love with his brother, is no longer his usual sunshine self.

Not really relevant to this...drabble thing but on the side wolfstar? Remus who knew about Jegulus for a while and even helped hide it from Sirius?

The couple were still new and figuring things out, wasn't sure if they'd work out and needed privacy, adding Sirius to the mix would just add more pressure and they didn't want that.

Remus didn't like hiding things from Sirius but he also loves James and Regulus so the deal was Jegulus immediately come clean once they see that the relationship was indeed going somewhere.

And yeah he thought once Jegulus revealed their relationship, there would be some dramatic rejection-but-not-actually-rejection speech from Sirius but he thought Sirius would be overjoyed for them once he calmed down.

So he'd be completely blindsided when he hears that not only did Sirius find out but he also completely forbid them from seeing each other like that.

He's like?? Yo?? That's not my boyfriend?? Did I miscalculate??

Okay well I haven't day dreamed this far into my...daydream. so Remus tries to understand Sirius and is shocked by his flippant "ehh, they'll get over it" attitude. Maybe they fight because Remus cares about James, and he can't believe Sirius would do something like that???

And he tries convincing Sirius too but Sirius isn't hearing any of it.

It's only when Sirius comes to talk to Remus about James' sad energy that they both realize the misunderstanding. Then Sirius fixes his mistake and happy ending!!

I have more regulus angst to add to this but I'm tired now, so the yappathon ends here

Edit: I just realized this doesn't have to be wolfstar. This could bitchkiller too.

Barty helps hide Jegulus from Sirius because he's Regulus's best friend. He can see that Regulus is truly being loved and he wants that relationship to go somewhere. He's a total Jegulus shipper.

Also by hiding it from Sirius, this is definitely a sex innuendo. Sure wolfstar could be the same but I don't see them that way. Remus would distract him by striking up a random conversation whereas Barty would immediately kiss him feral. Sirius with the hormonal, dog brain is very happy when things take a heated turn when he was just wondering where James went, efficiently distracted.

Barty doesn't mind lying to Sirius because it's for his best friend. He wouldn't go through a moral dilemma like Remus would. He's a chill, easy-going guy. Also like, unstable.

For wolfstar, Remus finds out, argues with Sirius, then later a different conversation, Remus corrects the misunderstanding.

But for Bitchkiller, Barty doesn't immediately find out about the break up. He probably gets radio silence from Regulus, who is wallowing in his misery, so he's a bit out of the loop. When he does find out, it's at the same time Sirius noticing something's wrong with James.

So they have the conversation at the same time. Barty immediately explodes on Sirius, he's confused and angry for Regulus, because he's protective. It's only when he literally says "Of course something's wrong with him, you broke them up!" Or something along those lines that Sirius connected the dots.

I am absolutely making them have the conversation at the same time because otherwise, Sirius would be too oblivious and apathetic that it pisses off Barty and makes their argument a bitt too angsty so I'm avoiding that.

Bitchkiller can go from 1-100 so quickly unlike wolfstar which I perceive as the softer one, not perfect, just softer. Actually no, this is just how I view Remus; understanding, empathetic and rational.

Barty can get irrational when he's emotional, like in this case, when Regulus is so fucked over and it's because of Sirius, his boyfriend thing or Regulus's literal brother. It's a mix of feeling betrayal and betrayal on behalf of Regulus. That irrationality could make him quick to verbal aggression or even violence so hence,,,I really wanna make the conversation quick.

(Sirius just responds to whatever is given to him, hence why my perception of wolfstar/bitchkiller entirely depends on his partner)

[orchideous-nox]

Everyone should have a Birds of a Feather friend, someone you're sure you must have known in another life, who you were always meant to find in this one.

Think James and Sirius, Lily and Mary, Regulus and Barty.

[myfavcharacterdidntdrown]

Regulus: I have no fear

Barty: what if you woke up one day and James was erased from existence?

Regulus: I have one fear

[moonyswarmsweaters]

They can only agree on one (1) thing:

Bart: you don't want Regulus to die

Barty: and i don't want Regulus to die

Barty: so now we gotta make sure Regulus doesn't want Regulus to die.

Sirius: fantastic plan but have you met Regulus

[yourgalgremlin]

🐈‍⬛

[deathnguts]

Even non endgame Bartylus is still a soul deep bond. Yes they were each other’s first kiss, and no they will never regret it even if they grow up to be with other people. Yes they will always feel most at home in each other’s arms, even if they marry other people. And no, it’s not in an infidelity way, they just mean literally eveyrthing to each other. They just are soul bound. *vomits and dies on the ground with a foaming mouth and rolled back teary eyes*

[silverameco]

A conversation that I believe happened at some point, probably more than once :

Barty : *talking about Sirius* what a fucking cunt

Regulus : Fuck off Barty, nobody but me insults Sirius

Barty : but a hot one

Regulus : ......what

Barty : still an asshole though *sigh that is unclear if annoyed or dreamy*

Regulus : I'm going to murder you.