#okay but who would be Cass-

[azurejacques]

Patrochilles Tangled AU… Achilles as Rapunzel, Patroclus as Flynn, Thetis Mother Gothel maybe??? That doesn’t fit perfectly but hm we can work with it I think! In any case like,,, banger idea, me

[littlefankingdom]

Kind of frustrating how many posts there are criticizing Bruce's parenting in Batgirl (2000), while Barbara is getting barely a slap on the wrist for her parenting.

The thing about Barbara and Bruce in Batgirl (2000) is that they both do something bad that is projecting yourself on your kid (no, Bruce doesn't see Cassandra as a weapon, stop saying that shit), however only Bruce is getting call out for this by y'all, and I think there's two reasons why:

Bruce is so easy to criticize. Everything he had ever done has been criticized to hell and back. Damn, he is criticized if he dares parent his kids and tells them no or something (literally read a fic where he was painted as the bad guy by the batfam, the writer and the reader for... saying no to another dog Damian decided to adopt without telling him) Somehow, he is always in the wrong with y'all. Even when he is nice or right it's "well, actually..."

The way Barbara is doing it is very normalized in western societies. Bruce isn't projecting something we are used to, he is projecting his crusade and how he dealt with his pain by kicking criminals' asses. Barbara is projecting ideas about womanhood and life that a lot of mothers do, but that doesn't mean it's not wrong.

"What is Barbara projecting on Cassandra?" Her sexuality and her interests. She wants Cassandra to go flirt and date boys, to dress more sexy, to love reading, even tho Cass doesn't want to. She forces Cassandra into situation she is very uncomfortable in (being viewed by men as sexy) because she enjoys it herself and misses it. There is NOTHING wrong with that last bit, but projecting it on Cass and ignoring it until Cass has a breakdown, that's not okay. (Cass keeps communicating she isn't comfortable in the bikini, and it's only when Cass runs away from the situation that Barbara accepts that Cass is uncomfortable) Cass tries to force herself to be more like Barbara to please Barbara, she puts on her suit and goes out, but she is so uncomfortable. Tim's comment about her body, and the heels, she can't. And then, there is the library scene, where Barbara yells and insults Cass for not knowing how to read. It is more difficult, as older as you get, to learn a new language. It is easier if you already speak multiple, but if you have never spoken ANY language before, and you just learned to understand one NOT EVEN A YEAR AGO, learning how to read is going to be hard. It is so ableist and unacceptable for Barbara to call Cass "stupid" for not knowing how to read. It doesn't matter if Cass hasn't been training enough, she literally should have helped and not let her do it alone (in the cases of children who, like Cass, didn't learn a language as a child because of their environment, they only improve with love and care in their teaching. If you give them a book and tell them to learn on their own, they will not succeed. Reading is a concept taught to you, not in you, and they need to learn it from another human.) And the reasons why Barbara gets so frustrated are just that, reasons, not excuses.

I'm going to be sincere, the reason why I'm criticizing Barbara is because I had a mother like this. I'm asexual and afab, and I was forced into uncomfortable situation because "girls are supposed to like flirting with boys". My mother got really frustrated after a couple of years because I never had a boyfriend, and that wasn't "normal". She would force me to see myself in a sexual way, to attract boys, because that's what "a normal teenage girl wants". And that was nightmarish for me. But also, my mother is a big reader, and I'm not for multiple reasons. My mother would often diminish my intellect because I don't read novels, and especially not as much, like her. Reading a lot was associated with intellect in our home, and it was extremely harmful to my self-esteem. They are different kind of intelligence, people aren't stupid if they don't read a lot. That's the classicism talking, because it was literally badly seen for working class folks to read not so long ago and so, only the rich did so only the rich were smart. And having an education, which I have, is not the same as being a reader.

This is also probably why I have seen queer afab folks identify with Cassandra, because we experienced the "you should be flirting with boys" pressure when you don't want to.

The other thing is that, not only is Barbara projecting herself on Cassandra, she is also living through her, which is bad. That's something you can hear a lot about for children stars, where their career and success is for mommy, who cannot be a star anymore. Barbara wants Cassandra to date boys and "have fun" because she thinks she can anymore because she's disabled.

And I'm sure a lot of y'all don't understand what is wrong with what Barbara is doing. But it is forcing amatonormativity and her sexuality on Cassandra, it is ableist, it is forcing Cassandra into uncomfortable situation because she would have enjoyed them. Cassandra doesn't want to wear a bikini, it's not ok for Barbara to force Cassandra to wear a bikini because SHE enjoys it.

In no way I'm trying to say that Barbara is a bad parent. What I'm saying is more that y'all are very hard on Bruce when both him and Barbara are doing the same thing. They both fuck up and learn to do better, because they love Cassandra. They are both wrong about Cassandra, but also right sometimes (example: Bruce is right about letting Cassandra fights because that's what she wants to do. Barbara is against it and she is shown she is wrong multiple times) Y'all are calling Bruce a bad parent to Cassandra in Batgirl (2000) and not Barbara because he's forcing on her his bad copying mechanism of sacrifcing your life to save others, and she is forcing on her amatonormative sexist and ableist norms of our western societies.

[tequiilasunriise]

When Steph and Cass get married they don’t take the last name Brown (Daddy Issues™️) or Cain (Daddy Issues Prime™️) or even Wayne (Steph absolutely REFUSES to become a Wayne nosirree), but a secret fourth thing (Gordan).

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

the fact is, if varric lives (and that's an if bc maybe solas does kill him lmao idk how much to trust that minimap reveal) it IS weird that you can't customise a hawke or account for the decision because it would be a little weird if a man who has lived through a wannabe god + blight dragon attacking warden fortress has nothing to say about ghilan'nain and her blight dragon attacking a warden fortress, especially if he potentially lost his best friend (Hawke). It's not outlandish for people to be a little disappointed to not get some customisation there because the choices are not equal to varric. the loss of hawke is obviously a bigger impact on him than whichever warden is there. given varric's personality, it's not outlandish to expect him to talk about it with Rook either especially considering weisshaupt is a thing that happens in the game. if he dies beforehand it doesn't matter, but if he's going to be around? yeah you'd think he'd be talking about it here.

speaking of weisshaupt, A PLACE YOU GET TO GO, a hero of ferelden who made the ultimate sacrifice IS FUCKING INTERRED THERE. But it's just "whining" to expect a nod (esp one that you can customise so it's your hero of ferelden) i guess.

regardless of whether morrigan has mythal or not, who she is as a person does change based on whether she was romanced and whether she had a child. it is natural that this matters and people aren't stupid to be tentatively concerned that nothing of her history is "required" but she's apparently this important vip character who will have more involvement in the game than you expect. like you are allowed to ask: okay what does this mean, what will she be like, will she be the same character i've loved across multiple games?

people are allowed to be upset or concerned that a game series that historically took your choices and your decisions into account has watered that down to 3 choices when certain choices that WOULD impact characters that appear in THIS game aren't. (and to be clear being upset does not mean harassing the devs, don't do that).

[bisexualalistairtheirin]

I honestly have no clue what ppl are smoking when they post those corny "Cassandra is actually so open to new ideas and concepts" posts in the tags like she is status quo's biggest fan DESPITE talking about how things need to change.

[bluegarners]

pushing my bruce wayne has gray eyes agenda

[brionysea]

going down the tim drake ao3 rabbit hole. he's unhinged and i need more

[highlifeboat]

Melony feels less like a slow tortury type, but rather: Beat you to a pulp, strangle, gauge eyes out.

She has too much of pent up rage and not enough patience in these matters :p

Real.

I just think of Cass introducing Melony to the idea of torturing and Melony going "Okay, but can I just smash their face with a hammer instead?"

And Cass has a moment of pause before being like "Fuck, you're so hot."

I kinda dig the idea of "One likes the process of torture and the other Just wants to fucking kill you" Because I think everyone would assume Cass is the one who wants to bludgeon people to death. But no. It's a tiny murderer and her sadist girlfriend.

This is literally just "Melony if she finally let the intrusive thoughts win" honestly.

[tapakah0]

WHY PC DOESN'T WARN ME WHEN I REACH THE LIMIT OF TAGS *THROWS OUT THE TABLE AGAIN*

WHY HE NEEDED THE SMARTER ONE?? FOR BRAIN TASTE??

OSCAR WOULD GLADLY OFFER HIS BODY PARTS HA-HA... ha... OH F*** HE WOULD. How lucky he is to be stupider.

Part 1!

..of an episode that reveals that if something looks like a space horror and sounds like a space horror, maybe it is a space horror.

Who would've guessed?~

Previous

Masterpost

[theflashjaygarrick]

Cass is so fun as a character because she fulfils the 'gruff but with a heart of gold' trope in a way that normally is exclusively used for male characters. Cass can be abrasive, and asocial, and off-putting. She is better than everyone, knows it, and she is not afraid to say it loudly to your face. She tried to help Babs feel better after seeing her cry, and decided the best way was to simply throw Nightwing out of a window (it's okay, he was fine).

But Cass is also someone who loves deeply and cares so much. About everyone. She has strong moral convictions to never kill not because she's scared it would push her over the edge but because she values people's lives so much. Because she believes everyone can choose to be better, and they deserve the chance to make that choice.

She isn't sweet and friendly and someone who always manages to get on with people, but she also isn't a cold ruthless assassin. She is a tough, broken person who finds something to protect in everyone. Someone who can frankly be a jerk (and can be difficult for some people to get along with) but who would risk her life time and time again if it meant helping someone. Cass is a hero through and through.

Anyway, I just love Cass.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce looks like the kind of parents who will hear the children say that they like some food and automatically accept it as the children's favorite meal

And the children will just eat it forever now to make Bruce happy

What food/snacks/fruit they accidentally say "oh this taste good actually" and now are they cursed by it?

Waitress: And what would you like as your side?

8-year-old Dick: French fries!

[19 years later]

Bruce: And here's your dinner, side of fries as always.

Dick, who's been eating fries every day since: Yippee.

———————

12-year-old Jason: *looks at a candy bar*

Bruce: You want it?

Jason: I dunno, it's like three dollars.

Bruce: Hey, don't worry about it, chum.

[11 years later]

Jason: *finds the same candy bar in his belt*

Jason: Well, it's the thought that counts.

———————

14-year-old Tim: Since Alfred's not home I ordered pizza for dinner.

Bruce, working: *grunts*

[3 years later]

*doorbell rings*

Tim: Weird, I wasn't expecting anyone.

Tim: *opens the door*

Bruce, in a Bat-pizza uniform: Delivery for Tim Drake.

———————

15-year-old Steph: *makes waffles*

[3 years later]

Steph: Bruce, why'd you buy so much flour?

Bruce: So you can make waffles.

———————

Bruce: You hungry?

Duke: I dunno, I guess I could go for a smoothie or something.

[later]

Duke: What's with the second fridge?

Bruce: To keep your smoothies.

———————

Damian: From now on, I am a vegetarian.

Bruce: Okay, but what about protein?

Damian: There are plenty of options, like tofu.

[later]

Damian, faced with a tofu truck: Perhaps I should have listened to Brown's advice.

———————

Bruce: *driving*

Cass: *points to a pumpkin patch*

Bruce: We'll see.

[later]

Cass: *goes to her room*

Cass: Dad?

Bruce: Yes, princess?

Cass: Pumpkin patch. In my room.

Bruce: I called in a favor from Ivy.

[chaoticwriting]

YOU ARE MARRIED??!!

-Wayne Manor, Gotham-

Cass is not having a good time. From the Arkham breakout last week all the way to losing a bet with his siblings on who is going to attend the gala with Bruce. And now this annoying lady kept asking her about her preference in men or something. And Bruce can't help her since he is being occupied by those rich assholes about investment or stuff.

Vicky: So, Miss Wayne. Is it true that you have a secret boyfriend?

Cass: No.

Vicky: Then how about that pict-

Cass: I'm already married.

Vicky blue screened as Cass finished her sentence. Cass takes the chance and slips away from her before she starts barraging her with questions. Revealing that she is married may not be the smartest thing she has done but she is very annoyed at people who keep asking her about her secret significant other. If they want to ask, at least use the proper term.

Just as Cass reaches the hallway, she is scooped up by two strong arms and is carried away to the Batcave. Cass looks to her side to see Dick and Jason both holding one of her arms each and looking very pissed. Well, Dick looks very pissed. Jason looks like he is having fun. Cass doesn't struggle and just lets her brothers carry her to the Batcave to have the talk.

They put Cass on the couch and proceed to guard the exit of the cave on the off chance that she decides to escape. Not that she would because she and her husband have been thinking of breaking the news to their respective family for awhile now.

She waited for a few hours while playing on her phone. Her main phone. Not the one she used to contact her husband since this family has a lot of competent hackers. She knows that being married is like a big deal. But she doesn't expect it to be such a big deal.

When she says everyone is here, she means everyone. From all his close family all the way to Selina (Bruce's fiancee), Roy (Jason's boyfriend), Kori (Dick's wife), Kon (Tim's boyfriend), Jon (Damian's bff) and even Harley and Ivy is here. She is also pretty sure that Clark is listening from somewhere but it's not like she is trying to keep it a secret anymore, so the more people there are the less she needs to explain.

Harper: So what are we here again? I would rather be home to polish my new gun than in this cave.

Dick: Since everyone is here, I would like to apologize for calling all of you in such short notice.

A murmur ranging from 'it's fine' all the way to 'I want to sleep' sounded in the room.

Dick: Anyway, let's get to the main topic shall we. For starters, I would like to say that none of us wishes to control who you dated nor who you choose to be your partner.

Some more murmurs sounded in the room.

Dick: HOWEVER! We would really appreciate it if you wish to marry someone, at least notify one of us since being married is a big deal.

More murmurs sounded as all of them have a rough idea on what the topic going to be.

Dick: So, the person in question, would you like to explain yourself?

A spotlight lights up on top of Cass, directing all the people's attention to her. She doesn't even know there is a spotlight installed in the cave.Cass stands up and looks at the crowd. She replies, "No."

Everyone is stunned by her reply. They expect many types of replies but no is certainly not one of them.

Tim: Fuck you mean no?

Alfred: I would prefer this conversation to remain civil and proper please master Timothy. I would also like to express my extreme displeasure at the fact that I am not notified by your marriage Mistress Cassandra.

Cass goes still at Alfred's sentence. Okay, shit is really serious. As much as she loves messing with them, she would rather not have her food burnt on the inside. (No one knows how Alfred manages to do that.)

Cass: Ehem, I'm just messing with you. It is a long story but to make it short, my husband and I met when we were in Hong Kong. We met after he got roped in one of the gangs that I was busting. After we met and a little misunderstanding, he helped me to dismantle the underground drug labs across Hong Kong.

Tim: So he is also a vigilante?

Cass: Ex-vigilante. He has a daughter now so he is taking care of her.

Dick: You get pregnant?!! How? When?

Cass: I did not get pregnant. But she is technically my daughter.

Jason: Like how Lian is with me?

Cass: No. Biological daughter.

Kon: Umm, guys. I think Bruce needs to rest a little. His heart has been beating a little too fast for even him.

Dick and and Tim are closest to Bruce realizing that Bruce's face has been impossibly pale for quite a while now. They take him to an empty couch and let him lay there and rest for a while. Everyone's reactions range from amused to straight up concerned that Bruce's career as Batman might get cut short today.

It takes a while but as soon as Bruce is fine, they continue another round of questions and answers.

Bruce: How long have you been married?

Cass: Next week is our 3rd anniversary.

Duke: Wait. Didn't you plan to go to Hong Kong for some time next week? You even ask me to cover your patrol because you say you need to go somewhere.

Cass: I don't lie. I missed last year's anniversary since there was an Arkham breakout at the time.

Duke: Dude, still not cool. You are going on a date with your husband while I need to spend hours running on top of buildings around Gotham. So not fair.

Jason: Was the present you asked me to send last year also was for your husband?

Cass: Yes.

Jason: I've been your middle man all this time and I don't even know.

Barbara: I found it! This is the registration for marriage between Cassie Cain and Daniel Fenton. You used a fake name?

Cass: Yes. You will know otherwise.

Bruce: Why do you hide it?

Cass: I'm not sure all of you are gonna like him and vice versa.

Dick: Is he a bad person? I will kill him if he treats you badly.

Cass: No. He doesn't trust all of you at first.

Steph: And why is that?

Cass: He thinks the Justice League is working with the government. So by extension, all of you are associates of government to him.

Steph: Why is he running away from the government? Is he a criminal?

Barbara: No. He doesn't have any criminal records in his name. Except for the fact that he is practically nonexistent before he is 18, there is nothing wrong with him.

Tim: Is it a forged identity then?

Cass: No. The government wiped away his records.

Dick: What? Why?

Cass: I don't know.

Damian: I expect you to at least do a background check on someone before marrying them, Cain.

Dick: Did you get married with someone you barely know? Do you understand how dangerous that is? What if he just dipped you after you got married?

Cass: *Rolls her eyes* He isn't a bad person. I make sure of that at least. I know he is some sort of meta tho-

A green portal suddenly appears out of thin air making everyone be on guard except Cass. She expects Danny to come out of the portal to greet her but what comes out baffled her.

A young girl that looks a little like Cass riding on a big wolf comes out of the portal swiftly towards Cass. Everyone is just about to shoot their weapons when the girl's word shock them.

???:Mama!

Everyone: Mama?!!

Part 2

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Okay hear me out. Batfamily, ugly Christmas sweater addition.

Bruce Wayne:

No doubt in my mind his children forced him into it. As soon as Dick mentioned wearing ugly sweaters on Christmas Day he found this monstrosity sitting in his closet. He chucked it out. He forgot about it. The next week it was back. He threw it out again. Two days passed. It was back. He tried shredding it, burning it, burying it in the backyard. It reappeared each time. Needless to say, it was still there on Christmas and he reluctantly wore it to the delight of everybody.

Jason Todd:

He wanted absolutely nothing to do with what Dick had planned… at first. Then he realised it was a great opportunity to piss Bruce off. Funny enough, it didn’t work as he hoped as Bruce was just happy he was there.

Tim Drake:

Wanted nothing to do with it and still wants nothing to do with it. Chose the first thing on the rack. Would’ve given Young Justice the chance to chose he sweater but he doesn’t trust them to NOT get him something horrendous.

Dick Grayson:

Planned this whole thing just to wear this monstrosity he found while doom scrolling on Instagram reels (he has adhd and is a millennial, he sure as hell isn’t on TikTok BUT dopamine go brrr). His siblings hate him. He loves it.

Damian Wayne:

This boy FOUGHT like one of those cats being forced into a costume. He clawed and begged and weaponised crying. Dick cackled at him until he had it on. He stayed on Dicks shoulders for the rest of the night. They did not talk for a month after.

He will stab anyone who brings it up.

Stephanie Brown:

Okay picture this in hot pink. She immediately locks onto some sort of meme when Dick mentions ugly sweaters. She finds this ugly ass sweater and steals Bruce’s credit card to get it.

Cassandra Cain:

Stephanie immediately calls Cass with plans. She happily agrees. She helps Steph steal Bruce’s credit card and proudly pulls Steph around to show the whole family their matching sweaters. A photo of them recreating the meme with their matching sweaters spreads around the web for at least a week.

Barbra Gordon:

Along with this sweater, Barbs places a USB stick containing a compilation of epic patrol failures in each of the Bat’s Christmas stockings. She wants to keep them on their toes (and adequately afraid of her). It is effective.

Duke Thomas:

Same vain as Steph. Instantly clocked in on memes and found this bad boy. Shows up with yellow temporary dye on his hair and old-lady sunglasses from the dollar store. Whenever he faces the slightest inconvenience he asks to speak to the manager. It becomes a bit where the manager changes each time and becomes crazier than the last.

Alfred Pennyworth:

Motherfucker would not wear a ugly sweater no matter how much the children begged. And the children did beg (Damian had to pull out the puppy dog eyes for this one). Jason was actually the fucker who made him cave pulling out all the stops, “it’s my first Christmas with everyone since I… you know.”, “it would be nice to have something special to remember it you know?”, “I remember my first Christmas in the manor. I just want to feel that happy again.”

Jason comes prepared with the sweater and Alfred knows he’s lost (but he doesn’t really seem to mind when he sees all the smiling faces on Christmas Day).

[solarplanet2]

Which one is in Danger?

Part 2

DCxDP Prompt/Drabbles

Part 1

"We have your son."

Bruce was expecting a very normal day. If you consider having to deal with the chaos of his children and being a vigilante at night as normal.

But nonetheless, a very simple day of his normal routine and once a week dinner with his family.

Only to be broken by a phone call by someone stating that his son has been kidnapped.

Bruce didn't answer right away, he was mentally counting his sons who, are all counted for, are on the dinner table.

"Which one?" Bruce eyed each of his sons and counted them again just to be sure.

"Timothy Drake-Wayne."

Bruce immediately eyed Tim who was sitting in between Jason and Cass.

Tim's here.

Then who's the one being kidnapped?

"Bruce?" Dick spoke up, thinking that something was wrong the way Bruce was looking at all of them.

Bruce slightly waved at Dick, telling him to calm down first. "What do you want?"

Dick's question seemed to catch everyone's attention since they were all looking at Bruce now.

"Two Million. Or he gets it."

A standard threat. The kind he was expecting.

"Can I speak to my son?" This earned confused looks of his children and Bruce waved them off gesturing that it was not what they were thinking about.

"Alright kid," The kidnapper from the other said grunted, almost sounding smug. "Say hello to Daddy."

Bruce could hear heavy breathing, almost sounding like a grunt. It made Bruce slightly worried. "...Tim?" Bruce decided to speak first. "Tim, Are you okay?" And Bruce hopes that he is.

A soft grunt responded. "Hi." A croaked voice managed to respond. It sounded young. And was punched in the stomach. He should know, almost all of his children had experienced that way.

"Don't worry, chum. I'm getting you out of there." Bruce tried reassuring the kid, worried about what they might do to him. Because this isn't Tim. Tim is right across from him and these kidnappers basically had kidnapped the wrong person.

He gestured to his children, a familiar gesture, for them to head to the cave and suit up. They quickly followed, not without worried glances and confused glances at Bruce's way.

"No.." The kid had said, choked out which made Bruce paused on his step in confusion. It caught his children's attention, stopping as well.

"Uhm...Dad? I'll be fine."

Bruce believed that, for some reason, but it didn't stop his worry. But the next words from the boy made him blink

"Please give me your permission."

"....To what?" Bruce asked confusingly. Permission to what?

"To hurt."

Bruce has raised enough children to know enough about silent words in some part of the sentences without right out saying it.

To hurt them.

The kid is asking permission to hurt his kidnappers.

Bruce should say no and wait for help. Should be saying that help is on the way.

Bruce should say that he'll come and save him.

Now, Bruce doesn't normally follow his gut. It causes too much mystery and had no explanation to either it would be a good thing or a bad thing.

But right now, for once, Bruce would agree with his gut.

"....Alright."

Static came in the phone, like it was losing signal but he could clearly hear the boy voice coming out like an echo.

"Good."

"What the-- AAAHHH!!!"

Beeeepppp

Bruce blinked as he looked down at his phone after the call ended.

.....Should he have not give him permission?

"B? What's wrong? Did something happen?" Dick asked, increasingly worried now as he saw Bruce staring at his phone.

"....Suit up." Bruce concluded. They should find the boy as quickly as possible. "And call an ambulance."

Bruce could see the confused look at everyone's faces as he walked passed them.

"Wait, B!" Duke had spoke up running after Bruce with his siblings. "Was someone hurt? Is it another gang fight?"

"No. The ambulance is for the kidnappers."

".....What??"

: )

Parts: Part 1

[sleepy-cone]

Bruce still does the tooth fairy thing for the kids.

The bats are constantly losing and having to replace their teeth. Because you don't get hit, kicked, and thrown on your face almost every other night and keep all your teeth.

So imagine early on when Duke first stays at the manor. He comes in saying how he was thrown into a car and lost a tooth on patrol.

They tell him to put it under his pillow for the tooth fairy. He laughs it off like , "OkaY, the tOotH fAirY."

The next morning at breakfast

Dick: "How much did you get?"

Duke: "Get what?"

Dick: "From the tooth fairy?"

Duke: "Oh, haha, right."

Steph: "?...Wait...Bruce?!"

Jason: "Why didn't he get anything??"

Bruce: "Don't ask me. The tooth fairy probably couldn't find it."

Duke: "You're not joking? You were serious about leaving my tooth?"

Tim: "Yeah, B always leaves money."

Bruce: "Untrue. The tooth fairy leaves money to children who lose a tooth. Not me."

Jason: "Yeah, whatever, anyway, make sure you let him or Alfred know when you lose a tooth and leave it out when you go to bed.

Bruce: "Alfred and I have no say in the tooth fairy's actions."

Tim: "We've caught him on camera, but he insists to deny."

Bruce: "Or perhaps you caught a clever disguse made to trick you?"

Dick: "... Just leave it out tonight, Duke."

Duke: "Okay, I guess I'll leave it out then?"

Bruce: "Somewhere the tooth fairy can find it easily, Is what I assume they would want."

Steph: "Smooth."

Damian *walking in*: "Father, thank you for the extra cash. This will go to the new treats I wanted to try for Batcow."

Bruce: "It wasn't me, thank the tooth fairy."

Damian: "... Yes, the tooth fairy. Thank you tooth fairy."

Bruce: "I think the tooth fairy appreciates that, Damian."

Everyone: *sigh*

(Cass is there the whole time casually eating because only Bruce knows that she sometimes will sneak in the rooms first to wait for him.)

Cass when Bruce finds her in the darkness of her sibling's rooms: "😃"

[spicy-apple-pie]

Swearing is weird in Wayne Manor. Especially before Jason dies.

Alfred was taught that swearing is impolite and implies that you have a small vocabulary or are dumb. So when he’s in charge of Bruce he, of course, applies those same principles. Once Bruce hits the age where he knows what swears are and how to use him, he introduces a swear jar. Which he thinks is very lenient because he used to get a wooden spoon to the butt at Bruce’s age. Bruce, being a tween, is pretty upset with this, but accepts it as he grows older.

Fast forward and Dick is adopted. Dick’s parents (and the circus in general) swore like sailors, so they didn’t really see the need to limit his use when it’s just them. But when interacting with children, they teach him not to use those words. When he asks why, they shrug and say that some times people don’t like those words, and you can’t tell who’s okay with it and who’s not. So make sure you use those words when you’re with someone who is comfortable with them.

And Dick thinks to himself how much it would suck to have to watch your language with someone 24/7.

Cut to Alfred bringing the swear jar back because Dick is swearing too much for his taste. And Dick is pissed. Because he wants to say whatever he wants, and his parents always let him swear. Alfred allows him a little grace, but for the most part, he will ask that Dick put a dollar in the jar for anything worse than crap or hell.

But Bruce remembers how frustrating it was, so he lets Dick swear as much as he wants when Alfred wasn't around. Even though the swear jar isn't for him, he still doesn't want to risk Alfred going off on him. So long as Dick isn't swearing in school or in front of Alfred, he can say whatever he wants.

But Jason is another story. Because Jason swears in almost every sentence, but the swear jar gives him massive anxiety because of his financial insecurity. Alfred tries to get creative and assigns chores for Jason to do. But Jason is like, not too upset by the idea of taking the trash out, or vacuuming. Until he realizes that it takes time away from his reading. But since Dick is an adult now, Alfred has no say in what kind of language he uses, so he's swearing more often. So eventually Alfred gives up but still doesn't approve.

After Jason dies, all sense of normal is thrown out the window. And with Tim and Cassandra, it's hard to discipline them for different reasons. Tim technically isn't Bruce's child, so it feels a little weird to impose a swear jar on him. Luckily, Tim doesn't swear too much to begin with, because when he was little is mom and a few nannies would wash his mouth out with soap when he swore. Alfred is not happy when he hears that, but again, not Bruce's kid. Cass is just learning to talk with them so she doesn't know a lot of swears. When she does learn them, Alfred really can't get made because it just shows him how much progress she's made.

So thanks to Tim and Cass, swearing in the manor is free reign. Dick and Jason are a little jealous of their sibings that didn't have to get lectures about swearing tho...