#not really a vent just complaining lol

[miss2eldritch]

i wish i didn't have a body

no i'm not insecure or anything my flesh and bones are just an uncomfortable prison holding my soul captive

update i feel like any non-physical otherkin could relate to this

[mushroominaforest]

(Post panic attack Mushroom here, I’m putting this vent thingy under a cut now, I was kinda freaking out when I posted it so sorry lol)

So. Apparently I’m getting some… uh, something (not actually sure what) done to my face tomorrow. All I really know is that it’s for “aesthetic purposes”.

No matter how many times I insist that I like the way I look, my mom doesn’t seem to agree. Anyways I’m praying to god that this isn’t some sort of plastic surgery or something. With any luck it’s just like, a tooth-whitening procedure (she’s mentioned that a few times so I really hope it’s just that) or something else small. It better not be a nose job. If it’s a nose job (ever since I broke my nose and it got a bump in it, my moms been complaining about how I used to have such a cute button nose) then I swear the second that shit heals I am breaking my nose again. I don’t care.

Yeah I’m… honestly scared. I’ve told my mom so much that I don’t want to change the way I look, and she still went behind my back and booked me this appointment to have… whatever it is done to make me prettier.

But I’m just gonna fuck my face up again if they fix it. If they get rid of my scar I’m taking a knife to my face and giving myself a new one. I don’t want to change. I don’t. I’ll make myself even uglier than I already am. They can’t make me pretty, I don’t want to be! I JUST WANT TO BE MYSELF!

[oceanwithouthermoon]

"fandom discourse isnt that serious" yeah duh but i feel like i should be allowed to talk about things like people being misogynistic or justifying abuse without being told im complaining too much or something, when these are such extremely prevalent issues in fandom 😭

[starryjkoo]

ARMYs are really just burnt out and I don’t think the rapid fire pace of releases has helped anything. It’s amazing as a fan to get all this music, but the expectation to chart everything I think is unrealistic and kind of overwhelming. People just don’t have that kind of time, energy, or money to go all out for every comeback when they happen every other month, sometimes several in a single month. It especially doesn’t help if ARMYs aren’t feeling the song, and I don’t think they’ve felt quite a bit of CH2 music.

I have longer thoughts on all this, but I just have so much annoyance towards some chart ARMYs and their unrealistic expectations and their refusal to acknowledge that the current organized fandom streaming power isn’t what they think it is. Another big wave of HL victimization (but sometimes TH is also included??) from ARMYs and it just opened the doors for so much resentment and hatred to be thrown towards jkk but especially Jimin. It was really disturbing to go and block these people & find I had 5-10+ moots following each time. It’s really out of control.

I’m just tired of this RL discourse while they ignore the twenty elephants in the room that explain why the streams are where they are (and no it’s not because “ARMYS hate RL”.). Instead they just throw these tantrums that further divide an already deteriorating and toxic fandom. I don’t know what it will take for them to understand that a fandom that doubled with Dynamite is going to prefer pop music, and that the majority of ARMYs are in fact not zombie streamers but fans who casually listen to the music that appeals to them. Not to mention the fact that a lot of ARMYs aren’t even active right now, so many of them have been dropping off and waiting for BTS to return as a group.

It really just keeps getting worse and worse in ARMY spaces. I’m pretty sure active ARMYs are about 90% diet solos at this point. It’s extremely messed up what a lot of them can get away with saying and not get canceled or called out for. It’s also just this hyper-fixation on drama, shooter accounts, NewJean’s, MHJ, raging against whatever fandom approved villain of the month, trending pointless hashtags for random reasons, and then being shady and resentful because of these arbitrary goals they set that are often influenced by using Jimin as a goalpost.

[kimetsu-chan]

I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted

I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people

I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;

so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)

[patheticwhimsy]

i love mike so dearly and i love when he's home but when he works from home now it completely fucks up my whole day ajklsafh like our apartment is so echo-y rn and he's in meetings all day so it's so loud it feels like he's screaming right into my ear and it makes it impossible for me to focus on anything. i can't even hear myself think. plus our building is pretty loud and ham (dog) barks at every little thing so i'm basically on edge all day making sure he doesn't disrupt the meetings so i literally can't do anything and it's just really overwhelming

[gemharvest]

fffffuck I hate that just existing feels too overwhelming sometimes. Like I'll be fine dw about me I've been feeling like this for. Years now. But god the way you just don't rlly get used to it.

[violetdisasterzone]

it's kind of sad to say but sometimes I think I'm not cut out for fandom. I've always been more of a lurker than a contributor anyway, but even then I feel like I might just be too much of a canon purist to really be part of them. so much of being on the internet is about curating your own experience, but fanon (mis)interpretations/characterizations are so rampant in some spaces, treated as canon to such an extent that some people literally believe they ARE, that they're often hard to avoid completely.

the point of fandom isn't supposed to be nitpicking every little thing for accuracy, obviously. I like talking with people about my favorite things, and seeing how my thoughts and interpretations match up with theirs. I don't expect everyone's experience with whatever media to be the same. but I think a lot of people view canon as something separate, as something they get to play around with and take the parts they like and change what they don't. and that's fine, but I don't really get it, not entirely. I like playing around with hypotheticals and what-ifs and stuff, but to me canon is always going to be superior/unchangeable. and it's even worse when people will try to use canon to explain that their blatantly fanon-based interpretations are, in fact, canon somehow. and it gets even WORSE when it turns into actual discourse, and suddenly people are claiming that not following their fanon interpretation means something about your real-life values.

it's just kind of exhausting sometimes. I love a lot of y'all on here and it can be so fun to be a part of things, even mostly from the sidelines. but sometimes all I want is to close social media forever and reread my novels in peace

[manasurge]

bleh

[cloudd-nyne]

.

[justmossyaps]

y’all ever feel like you’re trying to diffuse several bombs while a bomb is also strapped to your chest? cause my friends are sad and angry and not feeling well so i’m trying to take care of them and cheer them up and be the comic relief and also my parents are stressed so im trying to help them calm down and do the cleaning and stuff for them so they can go relax and my dog is crazy so i have to help wear him out so he doesn’t stress my parents out more and im constantly trying not to have a meltdown and also look like im not about to pass out every time i stand up and it’s just like UGH. i can physically feel tension in the air and it’s like aghhhhhh i can’t breathe

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

.

[sweetie-peaches]

Everyday I am woken up from slumber and faced with the reality that I will never have what others have in my life

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[nebulouscoffee]

... well it's that time of the year already. If anyone's got a Star Trek ask I'd love a distraction <3

[itspileofgoodthings]

I am sometimes really bitter about the fact that I teach sophomores which is an age at which SO many adolescents are toad-like and then often they leave my class and are better for their subsequent teachers. like.