#Yeah I uh
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(Post panic attack Mushroom here, I’m putting this vent thingy under a cut now, I was kinda freaking out when I posted it so sorry lol)
So. Apparently I’m getting some… uh, something (not actually sure what) done to my face tomorrow. All I really know is that it’s for “aesthetic purposes”.
No matter how many times I insist that I like the way I look, my mom doesn’t seem to agree. Anyways I’m praying to god that this isn’t some sort of plastic surgery or something. With any luck it’s just like, a tooth-whitening procedure (she’s mentioned that a few times so I really hope it’s just that) or something else small. It better not be a nose job. If it’s a nose job (ever since I broke my nose and it got a bump in it, my moms been complaining about how I used to have such a cute button nose) then I swear the second that shit heals I am breaking my nose again. I don’t care.
Yeah I’m… honestly scared. I’ve told my mom so much that I don’t want to change the way I look, and she still went behind my back and booked me this appointment to have… whatever it is done to make me prettier.
But I’m just gonna fuck my face up again if they fix it. If they get rid of my scar I’m taking a knife to my face and giving myself a new one. I don’t want to change. I don’t. I’ll make myself even uglier than I already am. They can’t make me pretty, I don’t want to be! I JUST WANT TO BE MYSELF!
#Mushroom complaining#Yeah I uh#I might look different after tomorrow#And I’m not taking my impending doom well lol#Tw sh mention#Cw sh mention#i should be careful cause I just realized I mentioned both#Breaking my nose and cutting my face in this lol#Sorry guys#I’m just really upset about this#Vent
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Omfg I finally finished this
I've been working on this for like-- 2 weeks??
BC animal jams mobile game is finicky as fuck my god (yeah I used AJ for this 💀)
Decently proud of it, but god it was difficult
#Glamrock chica#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#my art#animal jam art#yeah i uh#still play AJ every now and then.#mostly recently bc of the lack of being able to fully use the capabilities of my laptop aaaa
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That’s Pran’s dad
#yeah i uh#saw this on the internet#a passin reungwoot#bad buddy#yeah i don’t know either why he’s wearing a defibrillator robot belt#and the whole fly thing#there’s just like a lot going on here
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Guys I had to
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#lae'zel#bg3 lae'zel#lae'zel bg3#tav#tav x lae’zel#meme#bg3 memes#okay so like#you know that dungeon meshi meme on twitter?#yeah I uh#redrew that
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OC TIME!
That’s right, you guys get to hear about the ocs i’ll never actually do anything with. List is under the cut cus it’s kinda long.
Detroit: Become Human
I have 3 ocs for for this one:
- Reed (Model R33D), marketed as a household and childcare android. When he deviates, he decides to just ignore it and pretend it never happened
- Xavier, a single father and writer. He bought Reed so Rylee would have someone to take care of her while he was busy
- Rylee, Xavier’s 10 year old daughter. She is a chaotic sweetheart and her dad’s #1 Wingman
Reed and Xavier are gay and Rylee is ecstatic
Monster Prom (and co.)
Yeah yeah, I made an MP self-insert.
His name is Cam. He’s a flame golem and I made lore about flame golems SPECIFICALLY FOR HIM.
Basically, their bodies are made of molten rock and their heads are floating orbs of fire. If they touch water, two things happen, 1) their body will cool into solid rock that will eventually heat back up into a molten form, UNLESS 2) their head turns into steam and they just fucking die. Aka, they avoid water. Also, they can control the temperature of their bodies. It’s weird, and not well thought out, but they can choose if they want to burn people or not. It’s fun.
Gen. OCs
These don’t have a fandom. I don’t do much with them. But sometimes I like throwing them at a wall for funsies.
- Anthony, a sci-fi-ish astronaut. Think Star Wars, he’s kinda like a mix between Han Solo and the Mandolorian
- B34 (Bea), Anthony’s droid assistant that may or may not be sentient
- Booker and Spec, a human and their very inconvenient curse. Booker just wanted to read a fucking book, but Spec decided they were much more interesting than throwing books at little kids in the children’s section of the library
Those are my ocs! Or at least, the ones I think about. And can remember.
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If I had a nickel for every time an exertion induced asthma attack made me pass out for a few seconds, I'd have TWO nickels
Which isn't a lot, but it sucks that it's happened twice
#yeah i uh#i went on a rafting trip basically carrying my group cause they all have noodle arms#then when dragging the raft up a hill my lungs just stopped working#so i let go staggered up to the top and just dropped to my butt before tilting over#one of the camp councilors was pulling me up when the black cleared from my vision#my poor ribs and head are pounding and this after sleeping for several hours to recover
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I started watching this as a joke
I'm not about to cry because of ANIMATED SENTIENT OBJECTS
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I just realized I lost a lot of time today so I'm sorta freaked out
#sable rambles#yeah i uh#every day we get closer to a diagnosis bc my symptoms are becoming more severe yayy...
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Uh oh, Trifecta's Horny .png
#Wretch Art#PromParade#yeah i uh#i kinda let my mind go on autopilot while i was doodling#and this was the result#there was supposed to be more dialogue on the second picture but me being self conscious kinda cut that shit short#im not sure i like the feeling of being /this/ self conscious tbh#first time feeling this way ig#enjoy the art i guess??? mayby??? idfk??????
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Day 6: Cake (Thank you to the discord for this prompt!) It's hard to cut a cake with a sword!
#comically long mae culpa#yeah I uh#noticed that it's as long as tpo is tall a little late#blasphemous game#the penitent one#ms paint#daily doodle
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#yugioh gx#ygo gx#gx rivalshipping#judai yuki#jaden yuki#jun manjoume#chazz princeton#yeah i uh#my otp honestly#one of my followers hates this so much i'm going to cry#ship bingo#ship chart#ship meme#meanwhile me searching words and terms i don't really know for the ship chart#because english isn't my first language lol#i though the judai photo i downloaded was transparent 💔#[edit today: I FORGOT TO ADD FROM THE SHIP CHART THING#i mean i forgot to add that ONE sexuality. these boys are also polyam]
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I never even told my fucking psychiatrist who diagnosed me with OCD about my intrusive thoughts because everyone on the internet is so Not Normal about mental illness and makes it seem like just having bad thoughts makes you a bad person that I got too scared to tell anyone about them. Not even the one person I’m supposed to tell.
#yeah i uh#have paranoia so#it makes it incredibly hard to get over something like this#like i’ll be like ‘yeah i have intrusive thoughts lol’#‘sometimes when i’m driving i think about swerving into oncoming traffic and killing myself the other driver and everyone else in the cars’#and not the truly disturbing shit my brain will concoct that makes me want to vomit
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Fucking love religious symbolism wish the Bible wasn't so damn boring so I could actually do some of that symbolism in my art
#yeah i uh#never did anything religious nor care about gods#interesting shit tho ig??? just not something i believe to be true or look up at#my mother would threaten to read the bible to us and whem she did it was . boring.#went to church ONCE and all i remember is the crackers
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Goodnight! I'll be honest I'm a bit out of touch but I hope you feel better soon!
I think this was from ytwo days ago but im gojng to bed AGAIN rest js for the strong after all an im so so strong.
I am feeling a lot better tho ! Had physical therapy today and my therapist says my muscles aren't to bad all things considered ^^
#holly answers#strange mystery#hii... sorry i forgor to answer#its been a bit hectic lately?? very strange#playing rw agin ! hghg downpour better come for console soon or i will explode#i want.. to play as arteficer... and also get out of my hunter campaign softlock..#yeah i uh#softlocled my hunter campaign. dont. dont even ask.. bro i just wanna reset the save but then id have to reset ALL my progress#and i spent so much time over those saves and even getting to the void my ass is NOT going thro that again#so.. just gotta wait for downpour#in the meantime i am. achievement hunting ehehe
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"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw
#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now#there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??'#and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies#aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you#so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager#the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience
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I'm going to lay an egg in you .
Oh uh.. uhhhhh.
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