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#then it falling apart again
l0rd-0f-c0ws · 16 days
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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justaz · 2 months
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need arthur repealing the magic ban bc its the Right Thing To Do and merlin is ecstatic bc finally finally he can be himself and tell arthur the truth. he can stop lying and hiding!! and the the ban is repealed and magic is free and theres a feast held in celebration and merlin lugs arthur to his chambers since the king had a bit too much wine and the night is warm and golden and steeped with happiness. merlin lays arthur down in bed and arthur looks up at him with half-lidded eyes, glazed over and warm and filled with love, and he says some sappy shit about merlin being a good friend and how loyal he is.
merlin isnt sure why his words make a stone settle in his stomach but he brushes it off and goes to bed, telling himself that he’ll tell arthur everything in the morning. then morning comes around and merlin sits at the table while arthur is eating breakfast and opens his mouth to tell him when his throat closes up and no words escape him. arthur is confused but merlin distracts him by insulting him and postpones the conversation. he’s been hiding for years, maybe he just needs to take it slow, take baby steps, let his mind and body get used to the idea of being free first.
merlin waits another week and a half before trying again. same result. the words wont come out and he’s choking on this secret he thought he could fess up to now and it takes him so long to realize he’s terrified. he isn’t sure why bc helloooo the ban is lifted!! he won’t be put to death!! what’s the problem?? he had an easier time confessing to sorcery to uther when such a thing was still punishable by death. why is it so hard to tell his best friend the truth when he won’t be punished for it??
answer: telling arthur the truth would mean telling him how merlin has lied for years and how arthur has never truly known the man he calls his friend. arthur will be hurt and angry and he’ll feel betrayed and that is something merlin has seen time and time again and he has fought so hard to prevent yet here he is about to put the same expression on his face. he’s about to break arthur’s heart once more. he can’t do it. he has to. he’ll hurt him. it gets worse the longer merlin takes. arthur will hate him. oh gods arthur will hate him.
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fumifooms · 4 months
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Dad always said I was like him
Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui
^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown
When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.
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mossy-leo · 2 months
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I think it should be said this whole thing with the book is for fun.
At the end of the day, unfortunately Gravity Falls is a dead show, it’s been dead for years. It’s great that we have new content, but we have to remember at this point we’re really only to expect scraps. We aren’t owed anything as a fandom and we should not go at Alex for any reason beyond joking support. I haven’t seen anyone do that but I’m just saying. This is all for entertainment and fun.
There seems to be a major connection between TBoB and The Great Gatsby, the second being about letting go of the past so it doesn’t haunt you. The timer on the website? The negatives? The dead ends? Maybe it’s Alex’s way of saying this is the end. To let go. To move on.
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thechy-fychannel · 2 months
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y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.
#chyanne speaks#house md#hilson#hate crimes md#gregory house#james wilson#i think his inability to be alone is such an interesting quality of his that isnt touched on enough#like yes we all haha at his long string of unsuccessful relationships but we dont talk abt it all stemming from his inability to be alone#his first wife leaves him and then he remarried quickly#he cheats on the second wife and remarries quickly#the third wife cheats on him and leaves him and he immediately moves in with house#and then starts dating a patient and immediately moves in with her#but!!! then he moves into the hotel and is alone for like almost a year! and honestly he NEEDED IT#bc GROWTH happened in that year and he meets someone who doesn't fit his M.O. who breaks away from the mold#although he does immediately move in with her too but still. amber was different. she was the step in the right direction#and then she dies.#and then wilson throws himself into the left field. everything needs to change. he's spent so long fearing being alone.#so he tries to leave so he is completely and totally alone without house to fall back on#but house needs him. he needs him too much. they need each other too much.#and he falls back to house again. and he's content that way. he's always the most content when he's with house. always feels the least alone#and then sam comes back into his life and ruins e v e r y t h i n g#he falls right back onto those old patterns. kicks house out and moves her in. and then what happens??? of course??? she leaves him. again.#and then he's alone again and it hurts. he gets a cat that we only hear about twice and then never gets brought up again#but wilson has his kitty. he has house. he's not alone. he can be content.#and then house fucks everything up. he goes to prison. wilson is alone again.#im honestly SHOCKED that wilson didnt remarry in that year they were apart but he was rly trying to change!#he was working on himself and trying to make changed he thought would be good for him#and then house comes back. and house won't LET wilson be alone. he wont leave him alone.#and it's exactly what wilson has been yearning for since the day he drove that car into cuddys house#and in the end. as long as he had house that was all that mattered. as long as he had house he wasn't alone.
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epicfirestormer · 3 months
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Will never get over how Starscream and Skyfire's relationship is always doomed. There's never an iteration of them where they both stay on the same side at the end. They always end up being against each other, tearing each other apart (whether intentionally or not). They always end up losing each other, be it by a snowstorm, by the war, or by death itself. They never receive a happy ending together, one if not both of them is doomed to suffer.
Skyfire is doomed to be an Autobot, by forces out of his control. Starscream is doomed to be an Decepticon, by his own self destructive tendencies. They are both doomed, because of who they are. They always try to save the other, in their own way. But it never works. They are doomed to fail, whether they stay together or not.
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xenomorphicdna · 5 months
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Sluggy design explosion!!!
All of em,,, god this all took so long what the fuck. So glad they're all done tho because the next thing on the list is making dms skins
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Enot,, big
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mikacanica · 6 months
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"… I’m coming back. I won’t leave you on your own."
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noname-404s-blog · 1 year
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notbecauseofvictories · 6 months
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just came off my shift as an election judge and I honestly think we should make people do this. I support abolishing the draft, and I even think that jury duty can get complicated, but everyone in the country should be forced to learn about election procedure, then have to sit around for 14 hours and practice being customer service for democracy. I think that would fix us.
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wickjump · 4 days
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btw this is crepic block me if you don’t get it (don’t do that i am an attention seeker because i was emotionally neglected as a child) (rambling in tags)
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the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldnt let it.
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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cw: Bakugou dies but comes back to life, “comes back wrong” trope, implied fighting, angst
When Bakugou died, you’re not sure how you went on living. Grief had taken over your life, sat you in the passenger side while it cruised off the highway into icy waters. And even then, you couldn’t find the energy to drown.
It’s why there’s a sudden uptick of energy when you’re promised to have him back. Some top scientists contact you months after his death, tell you to hurry down to the headquarters labs, come and rejoice for what you’re about to witness. And you’re horrified, to say the least.
“This isn’t my husband.” Are your first words when you walk in, watch the figure on the other side of the glass examine its own hands. It looks like your husband but—but his hair isn’t the right shade of blond all over. His nose bridge had a slight bump after a scuffle with a villain. He had a scar on his hand but—but it never looked like it was to sew a pinky beside the other fingers.
“Is that really my husband?” You ask next in disbelief, slowly entering the room. Bakugou’s head snaps up, his eyes a little brighter than you remember but—they hold so much emotion. So much memory, so much panic, so much guilt.
“I left you.” He mutters, his voice raspy and ragged, and you wonder if it’ll always be like this now. It makes you cry a little harder than it should, but you only embrace each other. He’s cold and his shoulders don’t hold the same mass and his back doesn’t carry the same scars. There’s one, jagged and rough, running down his back, and you think, you think that’s where they slipped a new spine in.
“Welcome back home.” You tell him, weeks after meeting him again, new and not totally—Katsuki. He’s stiff and he doesn’t immediately take off his boots when he enters, and it worries you. Makes you think if you’ve just let a stranger into your home, one that has stolen your dead husbands face. Makes you wonder if he’ll be as loving as Katsuki once was, or if he’ll become your monster looming over you with the guilt of not being able to rest anymore.
“I’ve missed you so much.” You whisper against his mouth one night, a little while after he’s moved back. You don’t know why you lay under him, why you let him nestle himself inside of you, why you let him hold you against his chest. Katsuki always ran his hands over your cheeks and neck whenever he held you like this, but this…man, only holds himself up with his hands resting beside your head. It’s alien, how he looks at you, how his hips are methodically measured with every thrust, how he kisses you every 8 seconds. You wonder if he’s more robot than Frankenstein monster.
“Why did you come back to me like this?” You ask him one night, barricaded in the bathroom away from him. You can hear his sobs on the other side, his pleading to be let in. He tells you he never wanted to come back if he had to be like this, that he’s sorry, please let him in, he misses the warmth of your skin, he’s never been so cold before, he’s never liked the cold.
“Is this considered cheating?” You ask yourself aloud one night, when Bakugou is forced back to the lab when he becomes too…un-Bakugou. To sleep with a man that is your husband in every way but? Your husband has been dead for a year now, and yet you stroke the chin of the man that tries so hard to be him everyday, but fails so miserably at it every time.
“I’ll come back to you right this time.” Bakugou promises to you when he’s strapped down to leave for the lab and before he’s sedated. But you don’t believe him—you never did. Your husband is dead, and this animated corpse has been nothing but a cheap mockery of everything you’ve lost and something you will never truly get back.
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introspectivememories · 7 months
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captainbuzzard · 13 days
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man reverberating was such a funny mod.
during this inning the first ken drew a walk, stole second, then got caught stealing third before the second ken walked, the third ken arrived and drew another walk, the second stole third base, and finally the fourth ken arrived and this screenshot was taken.
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daughter-of-the-clayr · 3 months
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yaz and jack drive me insane. not in the ship way, but jack, never flirting with yaz but immediately taking her under his wing. jack, who never told torchwood anything, just casually inviting yaz to see his hometown, where he lost his brother. jack, who knows that the doctor leaving yaz is inevitable, counselling her on how its worth it, and essentially making future plans. jack, who picked how yaz felt immediately, even when the Doctor and yaz didn't. jack and yaz's conversation paralleling yaz and Dan's, 1 and 4 years later. i feel like they're a v underrated dynamic.
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