#wont do it a lot tho its just. this is still my blog lol ill just spare yall more depressing thoughts nd banish them to my sideblog

[gemharvest]

fffffuck I hate that just existing feels too overwhelming sometimes. Like I'll be fine dw about me I've been feeling like this for. Years now. But god the way you just don't rlly get used to it.

[toestalucia]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

im easy...........and like too much.......personally ! i prefer akira with the older wizards, ive talked about being in those ship tags ummmm a lot<3 i cant narrow it down further......the twins are an exception but ive been over that in the past. atm i like emu with mafuyu, rui, nene & akito a lot :D theres def more (like honami i think would be cute! and i do like her with tsukasa too, but emu tsukasa besties....), but im like twice her age so i think about that stuff so rarely LOLLLL i thought hard about the rest of my muses but.......?????????? eight/machina....perhaps...........sofia/forte.......yeong/tara......(cagli teehee)

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

i lov drama. with gran it comes natural cuz welcome to ur 'assuming things w/out asking' and 'thinks way too much into the future where they dont want to settle down' captain. i think akiras the most tender of all of them? and most likely to actually bring up issues? sofia is fun because i think about the event where she Doesnt speak in opposites and micah ends up rly confused........being accepted with her weird speech patterns..... natsume too, either staying at the accepting his weird behavior (jumping, scared expression, running) or having the 'i can see youkai' convo....yknow.....its good...i know tanuma alrdy had a convo like that (UNREAL CONVO i miss it) but yknow. Overall ! anything. mostly. theres some 'ohhh angst' topics im not interested in, so i think most stuff stay on the more lighthearted/loving side tho

how large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

feel like a fraud everytime i say that i personally wont write akira with some of the 20yo's cuz im always close to deciding to make akira closer to 30. and then i say i like akira with figaro & oz......the ancient ppl......

are you selective when shipping?

rather than selective i just dont ask ppl........and i have no interest in making relationship calls nor liking them........i want to see where the writing goes first cuz i knoowwww i sometimes say gran would say x but then i write it and y happens yknow LOLLLLLL i'd be open to jumping into stuff on discord or something tho i think ? i think i could jump into romance stuff no problemo then cuz it'd feel slightly separated from here...?! cuz idk but theres something when i open this blog that i......its a very slowburn......if ure willing to spend some months writing so gran can become more accepting of the idea then its go go go. does this make sense. well either way im not sure tbh. grans a bit added difficulty too considering how i deal with their age LOLLL since cygames is pushing 15yo still. which gives me a headache seeing how the summer events etc are explicitly yearly.....i cannot write act3 gran as a teen, not when theres a political engagement with alliah like cmon....i refuse..........but since ure following this blog uve alrdy read this stuff in my rules/about LOL

either way akiras easier with romance. i just dont approach ppl about it. whenever i make that farmsim blog i wanna be more casual with this stuff tbh...T_^ for funsies............write some yearning...

how far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

not far at all. LMFAOOOOOOOO i use that tag very liberally. its unlikely im writing that stuff anyway....

does one have to ask to ship with you?

:DDDDDDDDDD if i ask u we've probably written for years & years && its starting to reach crush-territory anyway (hello kaitlyn) but man idk what it is....romance is just difficult to write on tomblr rn for me...gran does not make this easier. the issues r endless. can i offer u akira.

how often do you like to ship?

(person whos always in ship tags) (smiley face) (smiley face) (smiley face) can u get into mhyk for akira....or farmsims....................ill ship everything in there.....

are you multiship?

YAAAAAA the idea of having 1 ship on my blog doesnt excite me. even tho i dont write romance atm. LMFAOABKAJD

are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

do u wanna hear about the akifi doujins ive read. or the akifau art where faust puts a flowercrown on akiras head.

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

THIS IS HOW DIANTHA/CLARISSE CAN STILL WIN. i am also a sabrina/leona fan. 'did they interact' no but they should. ppl who lost their husband(s). ppl who both should be AT THE CLUB. me/canaria. me/crystal

finally, how does one ship with you?

u like my posts & listen to my ramblings and i twirl my hair and send u more asks and then it just happens. foolproof.

tagged by: @convxction faty my beloved my everything u should do it for ur multi too.... tagging: @shiningstages kait i think u should do this for ur multi and ramble............

[kaydreamman]

*kicks down your door* Hey Kay on the vtm questionaire for number 14 for death How do they feel about diablerie? for any of yours lol

heres the original reblog so anyone that wants can find the questions:

Wow so you come in, break my door and now you wont fix it? ok fine.

Since you wanted 14 and Diablerie(11) , ill do both for the vampires that more or less graced my blog and ill be doing these two as myself instead of characters since some of them wouldnt give you an actual answer and it was better formatted this way lol.

really long post ahead so read at your discretion

Bhima

III. DEATH

11. How do they feel about Diablerie?

Its...something hed love to not encounter on either side. The act feels very harsh and..very wrong. Not something hed do ever.

14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

Bhima has frenzied once in the beginning of his vampire life when he was still getting used to everything and to his jumbled thinking. It did not turn out well. In the process he ended up killing his daughter because of how stressed he was for her in general and he simply blacked out when he saw her again. He sired her upon panicking about what hes done and its a whole mess he is trying to fix considering the siring was also not legalized.

Nazaire

11. How do they feel about Diablerie?

He gets why someone would do it but they dont like the idea of stealing someones "life" for power and then also having part of their soul. Sounds like a cool concept at first but he wouldnt like it to happen to him so why do it to someone else?

14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

Yeah. A lot of clutch moments before they escaped the city he inhabited after their sires death and during the times he was hunted. It manifested in many ways. Some lunging at the vampires hunting them resulting in harm, sometimes results in self harm as well. He fed of a human once and they had to pretend they didnt. Never did it again.

Iulian

11. How do they feel about Diablerie?

Act of power with dubious ties to it. Nothing he hasnt seen or that would be uncommon for vampires to do. He thinks getting power like that is a cheat code and a beneficial one if you get to it but not something hell risk his skin for.

14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

Thankfully for him, it has never happened.

Devon

11. How do they feel about Diablerie?

Doesnt care. He wont do it but he doesnt care if someone does. No strong opinion towards it.

14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

He has never frenzied even if he was close to multiple times before. He was able to get himself as fast as he could out of high stress situations or neutralize the problem before the beast could come out.

Ankur

11. How do they feel about Diablerie?

Fun! Just dont get caught and its a plan. He hasnt done it but perhaps one day if he has the means for it, he might.

14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

Yeah, a bunch of times. He is a fun of the "riding it out" or "going with the flow" so he frenzied willingly before and it proved as a very beneficial thing though risky and very very messy. Covered in blood from head to toe and surrounded by bodies but satisfied and safe. Plus, if youre quick about it, no one will ever know about your messier tendencies :)

Cecilia

11. How do they feel about Diablerie?

No. Below her. More honorable ways to get power.

14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

She tried her hardest everytime to get the beast at bay since she holds a reputation so, no. She did not and is not planning to.

Nadia

11. How do they feel about Diablerie?

Tempting. Havent did it but she isnt opposed to it.

14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

Nothing out of the ordinary, just very enraptured by one of her...meals that got way too messy. Only happened once tho.

Sunya

11. How do they feel about Diablerie?

Kindred do that to strengthen themselves and cover more ground by having more power, as always. Nothing shocking. They dont care about it though. They think its kind of like cheating and if you want to get big, why not set an example yourself instead of being a power sucking leech?

14. Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

No...they....made sure not to. Theres no way that his sire would in any shape or form take that and they wouldnt be a fan of finding out what happens if the beast gets their way and their sire finds out.

[6loodlvstt]

I dislike humanity the most but somewhat here I always find interesting people - not like I interact with anyone a lot tho. And agreed! Idk tumblr is like a living dream of nostalgia. My feed is full with old retro pics which I love. At least irl people who know me can’t see what I reblog here.

Please you know Ib? It was my first rpg horror, I was freaking obsessed with Gary (debatable) and lately one I started to prefer Mary but only because she was written better in terms of character development. Mad father is such a good game although I still didn’t tried the new ver that was released on nintendo switch cuz I’m lazy lol.

Also! Sorry if something is phrased weirdly but it’s 2 am here and I’m still not sleepy. Sucks to have insomnia but at least I just finished to watch a movie! <3 -🩹

yeah me too!! i love this blog because no one who really knows me knows about this blog (unless they friended me from here with the exception of two)

I DO KNOW IB! its insane that people know it sometimes im always so surprised! i also really loved gary (ngl i kinda had a crush on him,,,)

mad father sounds cool ill probably get it soon than :D

its okay if things are worded weirdly i get it,, its like 9pm rn for me but after working all day and not taking my nap im so tired.... but i really want to play video games since its my day off so i probably wont sleep LOL

movies are fun! what movie are you watchin? :3

[lockedtowers]

me, realizing i was gon follow a few ppl but i dont have my verses or anything rly up yet: …. so anYWAYS

some fun things bc im not gonna be on a comp until tomorrow then ill only be here mon wednes and surprisingly fri/sat next week, maybe some lil funzies mostly abt cassie bc shes my baby

obvi (if u kno me if not welcome im brina my brain doesnt work) i have multiple verses im just dumb and havent posted them, i gotta rewrite a lot of them to be shorter too bc i give full character backstories for everything as it develops and ik most ppl dont wanna read that so it takes longer for me to do things bc im ‘tistic and short quick explanations is not my fortay. main doodads tho: 1, 3-7 are fantasy worlds specifically, 2 is overall in any world, 8 onwards is purely human verses

generally with other fantasy worlds, i’ll have it where cassie ended up in your universe. Whilst my Wonde/rland is largely built off my own thoughts and things now, and various points of lore, the 2009 S/yfy A/lice was a base for it. A/merican M/cgee’s Alice is the base inspo for Cassie’s cheshire cat, but she’s also her own thing. (fun fact: originally i was writing her as the d/ormouse from b/urtons wonderl/and, but as she grew further from that canon w my never writing in that universe, she became my own character ultimately and holds few similarities to her origin now, including species! but her twin brother is still ‘proper’ dormo/use, yes it makes sense, its more a title than a species in this world)

Cassie is… moldable, mentally, to say the least. When someone finds her in whatever world she ends up in, whether its a fantasy world or not (as she ofc just lives wherever in non fantasy aus) she.. tends to be easier to manipulate because she will get attached to people just for being nice to her. she isn’t used to it. it’s rare for there to be a universe where this isn’t an issue for her (also of note bc dual muse blog: willys the manipulator, and shes the manipulatee) honestly she’s morally grey anyways and doesn’t really understand morality as a whole, so if shes found by a villain and they just.. treat her like a person, she will get attached. and cassie being attached can be dangerous, not just for others, but for herself, because she’s loyal to a fault. if she makes friends w multiple ppl and they fight, she wont know what to do because she just can’t bring herself to believe either person is wrong. it’s also of note that in most fantasy verses, she’d been locked up, abandoned in a cell, for years. She doesnt tend to talk and, despite trying to push a tough and uncaring act, she’s still scared. she’s still traumatized. a lot of the time she wont even talk. this is the everything tab also so be aware she has a scar over her right eye, and her right eye is a silvery blue verses her normal blue eye. she’s also pretty much blind in her right eye, but the color is due to heterochromia. her twin brother has one blue and one green.

she is very noticeably neurodivergent when you talk to her, and as many fellow a/utistics point out, cats tend to have similar personalities to us anyways (ive seen a many point out that if you can handle a cats support needs you can handle ours lol). usually shes fixated on something, but she’ll also use trickery of the tongue to get out of things when need be. she’ll unintentionally speak in riddles that make perfect sense to her, but others feel a need to solve. however in most universes where she ends up there, i do it post her escaping after the prince of he/arts (who kept her captive for years) overthrows his mother. She ultimately traverses due to remaining look/ing glasses from before the land was taken by the Hearts. Meaning she cannot get back on her own. But, she also does not want to.

It’s very important for the author to be aware that she cannot tell a lie. Muses not understanding is fine, because how would they know when cassie doesn’t know her own heritage in most verses (o/uat is currently pmuch the only fantasy verse where she was raised by her parents, making her aware shes the princess of spades, and aware shes a witch, but still unaware that the reason she cant lie is because shes a fae halfling) Cassie is a Fae Halfling, and fae/witch hybrid. The Fae half itself is a hybrid of Seelie and Unseelie like her father. I use pieces of real lore and pieces of my own here, but it doesnt really come up in writing much anyways. but she cannot lie to anyone, it physically tears into her flesh the moment words leave her lips. the only thing she can do is use trickery words to mis-explain, and even then it can titter the line.

Her cheshire invisibility comes from shapeshifting to match her surroundings, but beyond that she mostly can just change her hair color, slightly change her face for short periods of time, or as most often used and the longest shes capable of holding, turning into a silver blue cat.

fae wise her powers are largely elemental, water focused, and she doesnt know how it works. the faerie power she has most control over involves her own blood, which she can turn into crystalized weapons when shes bleeding. most often she’ll be using her witch abilities. in some aus, your character may see she has strange looking bands on her wrists and locked into place, meant to look like bracelets but unable to be removed. They���re power blockers placed on her by the prince of h/earts to ensure she couldn’t break out again. they keep her from using her powers, from healing, and otherwise.

her makeup made her an omen to the remaining fae of wo/nderland, which there arent many left there. they wanted to slaughter her father as well, but never managed to make it as he was too brutally powerful for them, either. The Fae had believed a seelie/unseelie hybrid, let alone a fae/witch hybrid, would bring death upon the whole of their kind. Ironically… Cassie’s technically a necromancer, and can give part of herself to bring others back to life permanently, or use weaker magic to bring them back temporarily. As such, when she dies, she tends to always come back, and oft with more power than before, and even less self control. She’s also the only reason her twin brother is still alive, but he wont admit to that.

purely human verses, she still doesn’t lie, but it largely relates more to the a/utism than anything else. she doesn’t like to lie in the first place, but has little qualms about confusing others when they get confused by her speaking normally. she doesn’t see a point in fixing that, especially when she can simply say a confusing, convoluted version of the truth to get out of actually admitting anything.

usually, because when i first wrote her a few years ago i actually combined her and this canon iteration (as shes basically what cassie would become if pushed fully to the limit) whos name i took, i’ll have her be the adopted daughter (and bio relative) of A/lcina D/imitrescu, with her sharing that name. Meaning she’s in her family’s wine business. She’s much more distrusting of men, between nearly being killed by one after watching him kill most of her family, kidnapped by him for blackmail until she found a way out, and her mother (alcina’s) own severe hatred of them. but still, honestly, if you’re nice to her she’s probably gonna get confused and fall for it.

theres also verses w @mastermiinded where shes E/llington F/eints daughter, thats probably the most normal cassie you’ll ever get if you want those but also she has a mom who loves her and was raised in a universe heavily involving a cult. she’s kind of bitchier tbh LOL

funnily enough, she is still always ready to attack at any given moment.

she knows a lot of knife tricks, and many would argue she likely belongs in a circus of some sort. she doesn’t like that argument, but she does know how to do multiple knife tricks, swallow swords, and do various slight of hand tricks. all while being blind in her right eye.

put in a multitude of self defense training, and for a brief time was even made her mothers bodyguard, she knows how to fight and she knows how to kill. whether or not she wants to is its own debacle.

if someone is out to get her and sb else tries to help, shes not gonna be cool w it bc she doesnt want others risking themselves for her, and it makes her feel like shes been kidnapped and locked up all over again.

[bma-2021]

hi btw i moved discords awhile ago so if you want my new one pls let me know bc i didnt refriend anyone from the old one besides those i spoke w a lot just bc;;; i didnt know who anyone was eheheheheh

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[donaeis]

simmer - get to know

by @cupcakegnome​

i was tagged by the amazing @whyhellosims​ and couldn’t pass up on this awesome opportunity to allow yall to get to know me a bit better! 💖

your name: I went on discord a few years ago for some sims help and just named my account Figaro after my favorite horse without really thinking about it... then I actually got hooked on discord and my friends started calling me Fig, so... fig it is! here’s the real fig, though, for those who are interested:

hes more amazing than i could ever dream to be.

languages you speak: dutch, english, german (i'm gonna go as far as to say dutch and german are mutually intelligible, and tho this gives a bit less of an incentive to actually learn german when germans will understand ur dutch just fine, it also makes learning german significantly easier). I tried to learn greek but even after years and years i just couldnt get past the alphabet LOL. the only greek I know are the bits and pieces I learned from my time spent there, but id have 0 idea how to actually spell that stuff out.

are you a mermaid: if only!! i do feel a very strong connection to water, though—my dad built his own sailing boat and traveled the world with it, and during his travels me and my sis been visiting a lot, living on his boat with him while we did

your play style: so, so story-driven... even when I tell myself I just wanna play the game without a story for once I end up with one by the end of my play session anyway.

your selfsim picture:

stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: I do stories most of all, but also like regular gameplay, my stories will for a very large part be game-driven, and from time to time ill post some builds. ive done a lookbook too. basically the only thing that wont have too much of a focus on my blog, despite my using it, is cc

your favorite age state: YA

your favorite season: winter

your favorite holiday: talk like a pirate day!

how was your day: actually absolutely terrible LOL. hungover, lost my temper on both a customer as well as a coworker... at least i got through it. 😂

your favorite career: admittedly, I rarely actually play careers cause my sims are way too busy or too dumb to actually be able to go there. if I had to choose any, though... I might actually go with the military

your favorite aspiration: the one that the most of my sims have completed is Friend of the World, cause I like for my sims to be sociable so it doesnt take too much effort to complete it anyway, and the reward of relationships never decaying is great

your favorite EP, SP or GP: vampires will always hold a special place in my heart, but I also absolutely love strangerville! if I had to choose any one favorite, id go with that one.

how old is your simblr: I posted some stuff in march last year but havent been active since, like, november? december? something like that

have you woohooed: yes

your favorite skill: charisma, cause theyll develop it automatically as I play

the size of your mods folder: 2.77 GB

your 3 favorite mods: mc command center, npc control, and personality please (links) are the three mods i absolutely couldn’t play without

your interests (other than sims): writing, dancing, creating (i love things like character creation), horse riding & anything involving animals, really.

your favorite sim (picture if possible): this is actually incredibly difficult for me cause im not sure i have 1 favorite. a lot of sims of mine will always hold a special place in my heart. my favorite sim to play fluctuates a lot... but god, if i had to choose any favorite sim whom i really completely made through sims and who was not a non-sims character already precious to me turned into a sims character.... itd probably be tika. hes an asshole but man, do i just love him and especially his story.

which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): the sims 1, 2 and 4

propose a crazy scheme: the sims community actually coming up with some GOOD sims 4 qualities for once 

best part of simblr: the amazing people I got to meet on here!

worst part of simblr: hmm... though i feel its much much less toxic than places like youtube or even the official forums, there is still some negativity here sometimes

what other games you play: im kind of a noob with other games, honestly. I used to play a whooole bunch of horse-related games (am a total horse girl), and I played the battle for middle earth (also looove me some LOTR). used to go to my childhood best friend's house to steal her brother's xbox and play gta iv on it, and I bought gta v for myself but sadly, I suck too bad at games to actually progress any with it

other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..): im on wordpress (here). i also mod a sims-based, lgbtq+ discord server called simsclub 

are you single: very happily so, yes.

im tagging @wesunnysimmer​, @nyteroseshadowthorn​, @amuhav​, @chaosxsims​, @silverspringsimmer​, @polishsimmersblog​ and well, uh... basically anyone that wants to do this! feel absolutely free to ignore this if you dont want to. 

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[starhaos]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOM !!!!!!!!!! @naarinja @pledisanti @f1ors ++ MORE LOL

where do i even start…. where do i even……. start,, well at the beginning obviously. even tho i was a very cautious teen with online interactions from the get go as soon as we started talking to each other (NEARLY TWO YEARS AGO!!!!) i felt so so comfortable and had so much fun. we say this a lot blah blah but i honestly dont know what took over me to make that gif or to send you an ask when you were bored because.. i didnt do that !!! i wasnt the type of person to send people messages online really but who knows exactly what it was that made you so approachable but to this DAY people constantly mention how approachable and wonderful you are and i feel so genuinely grateful to have been able to meet you and keep talking so much that i became such a close friend of yours. you were my first online friend and you are my strongest online friend… but  i truly believe ((as gross and cheesy this sounds)) that this is the type of friendship where it doesnt matter how far apart we are or how not often we’ve actually been face to face (still waiting for 0 B.P) because i find so much comfort in just knowing youre around somewhere in the abyss and reachable. when i couldnt contact you when i was in kenya etc it was the same feeling of missing you as i had for my irl friends. that was when i really realized how much you meant to me truly and if the internet suddenly crashes and i cant contact you i WILL walk down to california and ignore all the curses its placed upon me. at this point i dont even have many irl friends left and i talk to you more than i talk to them anyways……

I WENT ON A TANGENT anyways i dont even remember how exactly we continued getting closer apart from just from talking LOL but it all felt so easy n fun and exciting talking to you!!!!!!!!!!!!! we agree on most everything except of course snap peas and vanilla ice cream but i can look past that… i feel so happy whenever i talk to you its my nom battery and i need to recharge it.

you are one of the nicest people i know and you deserve so much hapiness and love all the time always forever and every single person who has seen you around or talked to you at least once agrees with me i know because i surveyed them here . i said this like five sentences ago but i dont know how i got so lucky to have you as a friend i really really dont… you are so talented (IN SO MANY THINGS. I KNOW YOU DRAW EVEN IF YOU WONT SHOW ME… IN MAKING GIFS… IN BEING A LEGEND… IN TAKING CARE OF KIDS… IN FUCKING CALCULUS DONT FIGHT ME ON THIS ONE. ALSO MULTITASKING AND GETTING SHIT DONE.. THE AMOUNT OF BLOGS U RUN IS INSANE UR MOTIVATION DUDE..) and i hope someday you can be a kindergarten teacher or something bc then i will enrol every child i know in your class so they know how great you are. that is a promise.

im about to go nuts just thinking about you as a person bc there is so much to love abt u realistically… from your sense of humour to your supportiveness to your taste in music (impeccable) youre the only person ever… if the world had to be inherited by one person id choose you bc you have so much potential and so much to give. this is part of the reason why i felt the need to gift you so many things, because youre always GIVING to people whether through nice messages or gifs or saying you like their music recs or giving music recs ….. i could go on….. and youre rarely receiving and quite frankly thats DUMB and charlie brain said you must do the most extra thing possible which in my dumb neanderthal brain meant like 30 paintings, this message, and one stupid video (by the way if anyone else is reading this you dont get to see it bc its so dumb that only noms brain—who is so used to dumb charlie at this point it wont phase her—can see). and it still doesnt feel like enough!!!!!!!! i feel like i need to send you a billion dollars and every front row ticket to every seventeen concert ever as well as a lifetime supply of oranges. unfortunately that is not possible but you deserve it. OH also the other reason why i felt the need to gift you so many things is because i love you a metric fuckton. i didnt proofread this and its two minutes until go time so i need to get on with it but it all came from the heart. i also feel like i should have organized this better but it all boils down to this: i love you my wonderful orange lady. have a great day. 🚟 ((( ALSO THE LAST DRAWING IS A PRELIMINARY SKETCH I ONLY JUST THOUGHT OF IT LIKE 30 MINS AGO ILL SHOW U WHEN ITS DONE OFC BUT I THOUGHT UD WANT TO SEE IT ))

[grandzealot]

Shipping  info  meme.

Answer  the  following  for  your  muse(s)  so  people  know  how  shipping  works  on  your  blog.

WHAT  IS  YOUR  OTP  FOR  YOUR  CHARACTER ?

attirichter. thats w my best friends oc. we usually rp on discord and in games so u dont usually see much of our millions of verses here aside from aesthetics and art lol [ unless i badger him into sending a meme ]

WHAT  ARE  YOU  WILLING  TO  WRITE  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO  SHIPPING ? 

...a lot lmao. but on tumblr i try to keep things appropriate for the general audience - usually no explicitly written nsfw or super dark themes

but in general im happy exploring the more extreme things in private with my best friend ( and have other good friends i could write more with too if it were a desire ) so what im willing to write isnt necessarily what im here for or interested in writing with new friends. i usu wont write much w someone at all if they seem to want to beeline for extreme/heavy topics wo us really knowing each other

theres also probably not a lot of room for any new soulfully deep romance bc i feel that so much with my otp for richter. so im generally just more interested in seeing what happens between personalities. smaller romances. superficial relationships. experimental ships. maybe some angst or soft imbalance in there but nothing emotionally demanding lmao. 

HOW  LARGE  DOES  AN  AGE  GAP  HAVE  TO  BE  TO  MAKE  IT  UNCOMFORTABLE ?

not very lmao. in his mainverse i usu dont ship him w anyone below thirty. but even if someones within his age range, if i met their character in a different verse or fandom ( or when i was rping a different character ) and associate them with being younger, i sometimes still cant stop thinking of them as a younger character and it squicks me a bit. a big part of that is discomfort of romanticizing ‘ older men ’ in particular so even if there was no significant age gap but the character comes off as teenagery or the relationship seems to have that kind of dynamic im also not into it

i do make exceptions when im rly comfortable with friends and might have developed it in a different light and we switch it for new verses. and i think in my head richters always older so when i rp him in younger verses im less picky about the upper age limit of his partners, depending [ but only like... by a lil percentage ]

oh and also for like synths or vampires or sosus or other odd age situations i tend to go by a mix of how old they look / act

ARE  YOU  SELECTIVE  WHEN  SHIPPING ? 

sorta. im selective about actually having threads for things but generally ill throw art out and talk possibilities without needing much chemistry or interaction. like im open with the hypotheticals, not so much with the actual plotting and rping

so chemistry is a requirement before i go so far as having threads but answering little memes or anything visual related is more like... feeling out the possibility for chemistry for me

HOW  FAR  DO  STEAMY  MOMENTS  HAVE  TO  GO  BEFORE  THEY’RE  CONSIDERED  NSFW ? 

not very. i usually fade to black if theyre going to do something sexual. i do have a nsfw blog that i used to move some threads over which maybe ill use again— but even so i still dont get that verbally explicit on that blog. maybe that might change since i cant rly put art on it anymore lmao

WHO  ARE  OTHER  CHARACTERS  YOU  SHIP  YOUR  CHARACTER  WITH  ?

lots? ive listed ships here before ( a-z eg: gwyneth and richter, jean and richter, marcie and richter, etc ) but i also lightly ship him w other canons in other games. ive had this blog for a few years and theres been a lot that fell away as time passed

DOES  ONE  HAVE  TO  ASK  TO  SHIP  WITH  YOU ?

maybe. i dont mind their character having one sided feelings / thoughts. ( unless theyre way young. ) and i do often feel like richter and other characters could be interesting pairings but im not always inclined to say anything ( usu just bc im slow and distracted lmao. ) 

but as far as sending memes in u usu dont have to ask. usually ill try to bend the memes meaning to answer in a nonshippy way if a ship seems impossible 

ALSO: richter is an in game npc so you are 100% welcome to canonize a ship w him for ur character, just dont expect my portrayal of richter to be that richter

HOW  OFTEN  DO  YOU  LIKE  TO  SHIP ? 

ummmm. im not rly here for shipping specifically but often ship threads are the easiest to reply to lmao. i do get worn out by memes tho so sometimes ill do a bunch then take a long break before i get to any more. like i run out of shipping energy if im not working w anything established

ARE  YOU  SHIP  OBSESSED  OR  SHIP  MORE  -  OR  -  LESS ? 

less if i have to choose but maybe low middleground in actuality ?

ARE  YOU  MULTI-SHIP ? 

this blog is c:

WHAT  IS  /  ARE  YOUR  FAVOURITE  SHIPS  IN  YOUR  FANDOM(S) ? 

.............idk ive generally been more obsessed with singular characters than ships theyre in. i like diopucci for jjba but i dont rly have any for others aside from ‘ all the ships w my fave characters in them ’ lmao

HOW  DOES  ONE  SHIP  WITH  YOU ?   

its probably best to send in an ooc ship related meme or an art related one and then talk about it after?

youre always welcome to just bring it up with me but i understand that people are shy so a more indirect way would be to send in a related meme and then comment with your thoughts after lol

TAGGED  BY : [ stolen from @shellheadtm ] TAGGING :  [ anyone who wants to do it c: ]

[2henle]

50 questions tag!

i was tagged by @nothaechan

and im tagging @yoonohho and anyone else bc i have no friends

--

1. what takes up too much of your time?

my phone im ALWAYS on my phone . its a problem

2. what makes your day better?

i rlly like looking at my albums,,, mostly my dream one,,,

3. whats the best thing thats happened to you today?

hm idk nothing special happened lol

4. what fictional place would you like to go to?

the answer is 100% hogwarts okay

5. are you good at giving advice?

idk a lot of the time when someone wants to talk to me abt smth i'll obviously hear them out but i dont rlly like to be a decision maker (??) for them,, so i try to give good advice that doesnt involve giving a direct answer so no probably not

6. do you have a mental illness?

ya

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

no and im so happy abt that

8. what musician inspires you most?

idk tbh music itself kinda inspires me not rlly specific artists (?????)

9. have you ever fallen in love?

no

10. whats your dream date?

picnic!! picnics are so cute!!!

11. what do others notice about you?

how stubborn i am lol

12. what's an annoying habit you have?

uh im rlly spacey (?) so i tend to zone out a lot and thats kinda annoying

13. do you still talk to your first love?

i dont have a first love 😌

14. how many exes do you have?

tbh? i only rlly claim, like, 4

15. how many songs are in your playlist?

546 ksjdjks

16. what instruments can you play?

ive been playing the trumpet for like 3 years, i can play the ukulele and im starting to play the guitar

17. what do you have the most pictures of?

either aesthetics or kpop related things/people

18. where would you like to go before you die?

Thailand!! China!!! South Korea!!!!

19. what's your zodiac?

cap sun, sag moon, virgo rising

20. do you relate to it?

too much omg i hate capricorns

21. what is happiness to you?

being free to do what i want!!!

22. are you going through anything right now?

lol too much

23. whats the worst decision youve ever made?

hm thats private

24. whats your favorite store?

hm idk i like journeys a lot i love shoes

25. whats your opinion on abortion?

omg i have too many. women should chose what they want to do w their bodies. period.

26. do you keep a bucket list?

i actually do have one for the summer! its not rlly getting done tho

27. do you have a favorite album?

i could listen to the we go up album everyday of my life and never get tired of it.

28. what do you want for your birthday?

money lol

29. what are peoples first impressions of you?

that im "cool kinda funny but not rlly smart logical" -my best friend, 2019

30. what age do you seem according to most people?

hm like 15 lol

31. where do you keep your phone while youre sleeping?

under my pillow charging (bc i listen to music to sleep)

32. what word do you say the most?

"stupid whore or just whore or just stupid" - my best friend, 2019

33. whats the oldest age you would date?

probably also about 5 years older

34. what's the youngest you would date?

about 5 years bc its only fair

35. what job/career do you think would suit you?

probs like a lawyer or smth

36. whats your favorite music genre?

i rlly like k-hiphop/k-r&b but also alternative and indie and obvi kpop

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

probably south korea, canada or thailand

38. whats your current favorite song?

breathe by ab6ix, bet bet by nu'est, thrilla killa by vav, heaven by exo and 121U by day6 lol

39. how long have you had this blog?

idk like 7-8 month's?? oop

40. what are you excited for?

thursday bc i get to go over my friends house & swim in my new swim suit for the first time!!

41. are you a better talker or a better listener?

idk it kinda depends if its like a deep conversation then listener but if im mad then i probably wont hear you out lol

42. what is the latest productive thing you did?

i cleaned my whole room yesterday and MAN was it hard

43. what do you want for christmas?

clothes!!! gift cards!!! albums!!!!

44. what class do you get the best grades in?

other than band? english or history

45. on a scale 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

hm feelings wise maybe a 5 but like physically like a 2

46. what can you see yourself doing in 5 years?

honestly i have no idea

47. when did you get your first heartbreak?

n/a

48. what age do you want to get married?

i dont wanna marry

49. what career did you want as a child?

a marine biologist lol

50. what do you crave right now?

attention from chenle

[softstraykids]

whole point of this rant: blog is remodeling for the next 36 hours or so i need a change of just everything in general, so if something weird happens don’t be alarmed. lol hope i dont accidentally delete this blog. oh and im doing a whole editing thing for all my scenarios so you wont have to deal with reading all my mistakes

blog is going under remodeling for the next idk 36??? hours. I SO REGRET NOT MAKING THIS INTO A SEPARATE BLOG UGH. cause wanna one has disbanded and pinksausageduo my main and wanna one blog i havent been active on for basically a year. now im considering just to make a new account to be my “admin” account for this blog. ugh if i didn't have so much attachment to this blog i wouldve deleted and remade it A LONGGGG TIME AGO. AND IM MAKING A NEW ICON AND A NEW HEADER (its a maybe for the header). idk how to edit at all so watch me struggle for hours ehehehhehehehehe. im thinking beige for my tumblr theme BUT IDK i might stick w purple cause ya know im attached. also i just want this blog to OOZEEEEEE of softness so we’ll see how well i do. 

also i think what im going to do is make softimagines or sweetscenario (i have both urls saved) my main account and just have links to all my works on both blogs and reblog all my favourite fics of all time basically. also im gonna make and add a playlist like i did for my wanna one account (i remember suffering for like genuinely 5 hours doing it last year so IM READY FOR PAIN) 

oh and im going to edit EVERY SINGLE SCENARIO ive EVER POSTED on BOTH BLOGS so im waiting for a whole lot of cringing and pain. 

then im planning to submit applications to all the networks ive been meaning send applications in for literal months. 

AND MAYBE THEN ILL HAVE TUMBLR SHIT TOGETHER WOOHOOOOOO

edit: well more like pt 2 cause i need to rant

AOISDAIOSDJIOADSIOA I DONT UNDERSTAND THEME SHIT AT ALL LIKE WTF IS ODD TEXT AND EVEN TEXT im just randomly clicking buttons and seeing if it looks good hahahahahahhahaahahha 

my header is cute the boys are all sleepy n i am in love w felixs smile as a side bar 

also im tryna go for like a chill coffee shop vibe which just feels really nice and  like im gonna end up adding music so everything is just COFFEE SHOP 

and then i have to get onto my mobile theme SHOOTTTT MEEE idk if i want that as a coffee shop theme i think ill probably do it coffee shop tho 

then i still need to edit like all my posts, make my master list prettier, and then edit all my wanna one posts, THENNNN i need to make my new blog probably do the exact same themed colours as my stray kids one BUT WELL SEE then make master lists for that and reblog EVERYTHING 

gosh im gonna DIEEEEE

[seungmin-jpeg]

Stray Kids on Tumblr // Jeongin

Chan // Woojin // Minho // Changbin // Hyunjin // Jisung // Felix // Seungmin // Jeongin //

To pure for tumblr 

To to to pure

Honestly he’d never have a tumblr

Hed be all over instagram tho

But for the sake of this 

I'll make it work lol

Has a very cute blog

Lots of puppies

Honestly just a lot of soft baby animals in general 

Like little sloths rolling around 

Cute foxes jumping around in fields

He’d reblog show recs 

For you know 

All that free time he has right

I feel like he’d be well aware of the kpop fans on tumblr 

So honestly he wasn't that surprised when he started to see stray kids stuff pop up everywhere

But he was surprised to see that he himself was getting lots of attention among fans

Sure he gets lots of attention from his members

But he didnt think he’d get a lot from fans???

Man he was wrong

He’d totally be that blog that reblogs a bunch of fanart

Like all kinds of fanart

All the fanart in the whole fanbase of stray kids

Always includes cute little tags 

Gushing over how beautiful the artwork is 

Always has to be super careful to not use personal pronouns 

Because that would be a disaster 

He’s smart enough to know being on social media

Especially tumblr 

Was not the smartest idea buttttttt...

Anyways 

Has a lot of pastels in his theme 

Put a decent amount of effort into his mobile theme

Still has the default desktop theme tho

Is the actual definition of the Soft Tumblr Stan

He reblogged one of your fanarts once

And you were just doing the usual checking of the reblogs to see if anyone tagged anything

Because reading tags on your art is the best thing

And this blog bean-worm had the cutest tags

You were like what kind of url is bean-worm but aye whatever

You ended up checking out more of his blog

And there were cute little baby animals everywhere 

And pretty fanart

So you ended up following this bean-worm blog

And just cause you could 

And no stranger has ever left such nice tags on any of your pieces 

You messaged him 

And thanked him for all the nice things he said about your art

And how it made your day

Jeongins all fluttery now

Because first of all this is the first message from someone whos not one of those bots

And the message was so nice his heart might actually melt. 

So of course he response 

And thus starts the purest of friendships 

So pure it’s whiter than the whitest white on earth 

Does that make sense what

Anyways 

Ngl

It doesn’t take to long for you to realize its jeongin

Jeongin really just threw caution to the wind when he started messaging you

Sure jyp had warned them all about this

And he’d heard about the stories with day6

But yolo am i right 

So the two of you talk for a long time

Like a year

Conversation drops every now and then

Naturally cause jeongin is busy

You never really go out of your way to let him know you know its him

But he’s not dumb

So he has a little bit of an idea that you know

So then it becomes an odd “we both know” elephant in the room

But that doesn't effect the friendship

Um so yah time’s past since you first started talking 

And stray kids has already announced they’re going on a world tour 

You flip shit because already holy cow

But of course you’re like rip wallet im going nothing's holding me back

You were out to get the best ticket 

And man did you get a good ticket 

Vip boiiiiiii

Youre going to meet stray kids irl

Hi touch, group photo the whole deal

You’re going to meet jeongin 

Omg you’re going to met him 

At this point it was like meeting a mutual for the first time

So you shakily get on tumblr 

Still trying to recover from the fact you lost a few of your lives buying the ticket

And you shoot jeongin a message

Just something like 

“I got a vip ticket to see stray kids”

And now jeongin is looking down at his phone in the practice room

Because oh god he’s going to meet you

Should he tell you who he is 

I mean you already knew 

He knew that 

But should he really say it straight out

He ends up replying with a simple “i’ll get to meet you then!” 

And just to confirm your ever growing suspicion you mention you never told him which city you’ll be at

And he’s just kinda “oh, ill be at all of them”

And you laugh and say “thought so” 

So jeongins identity has been confirmed 

Without him risking that much 

Because how would someone convince anyone that’s him from those screenshots 

Especially with the url bean-worm wow

That would be a stretch 

The day of the concert slowly arrives 

You watch the videos from other concerts flood your social media 

And try your hardest to avoid spoilers

When it gets even closer 

You send a picture of the outfit you’ll be wearing to jeongin

So he can spot you easier

Of course you wont need any help finding him 

Its all the emotions the day of the concert as you wait in line 

Firstly its a freakin stray kids concert 

Second you got the best ticket

Third you’re legit going to go through hi touch with all the members holy crap

And fourth you're finally going to be able to meet your lovely friend and mutual jeongin 

You had the time of your life during the concert 

Had a great spot with a great view 

Tons of friendly people around you

Just really having the time of your life 

The concert ended and then it was hitouch time 

Your heart couldn’t have been any louder as the set up for everything 

You hung out with the others fans 

Waiting while the boys got themselves together  

When they finally came back out 

You could tell jeongin was searching for you

Part of you wanted to stand up and make yourself known 

The other part of you wanted to hide behind the nearest person and never let him see you

So inteast you just stayed put

Not too noticeable 

But not hidden

Nothing 

And no one

Can escape jeongin’s hawk eyes

He found you real quick

And couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit when he saw you

He’d finally found you

And damn you looked just as perfect as he had imagined you to be

Actually you looked even better

All he knew was that it was going to take a miracle for him to keep himself together when you finally got closer

Like

His first hitouch had been super nerveraking 

But this wasn’t his first hitouch

No he had done so many at this point

But it was like three times the nervousness he had felt during his first hitouch

He didnt know what to do with himself

The line started to move forward

And you fell in place somewhere near the back

Too nervous to really try and get up in front

But also wanting to hold out the moment just a little longer

Slowly you got closer and closer

And of course jeongin was at the very end of the line

At this point youre just like

God please dont let my hand get all sweaty

Youre like seconds away from blacking out because so many emotions at once

Finally its ur turn

And your panicking

Because simply meeting skz is enough to shut all your organs down

Ur gushing from witnessing chan and his curly hair in person

And talk about real luck getting to see minho in pastel pink hair 

And then at the very end

You see jeongins bright smile

Now braces free

All your nervousness melts away when you see him

And its all replaced with pure joy

Youre not really sure what to say

So you just say “good job” 

And stare really intensely into his eyes

Because yes

And he kinda gives your hand a little squeeze as you pass by

And your heart just flips

Like damn boys about to kill you 

By the time you finally got back from the venue and settled down in bed 

You look down at your phone and see a message from him

And ur like wtf rest my dude you just did a whole concert

But when you open the message you just

Uwu

Because it read “you’re even pretty then i had imagined” 

Now youre dead

And you send back a cheeky response to jeongin which means hes on uwu overload too

And its a good night all around

And you can tell its only going to get better

[xielians]

rule: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people you want to get to know better tagged by: @gon-x-freecs (thank you for the tag <3 !!! )

nickname: miko & variations of that usually!! 

zodiac: gemini

height: 156cm

last movie i saw: heavens feel lost butterfly

last thing i googled: morality actions (sHHHH i was trying to remember a word)

favorite musician: uh!! recently ive been listening to fansongs so no specific musician, but my fav is always kajiura yuki & yonezu kenshi!!!

song stuck in my head: i beg you - aimer (ive been blessed)

other blogs: AHFSIKGH YEAH A LOT... my fandom-ish ones are @gimmehxh for hxh and @thepurpleblossom for matou sakura ! i had a kyoani one but hmm, that one is gone now 

do i get asks: sometimes !!

following: 975

followers: 638

amount of sleep: it,, flipflops bc idk whats a good sleep. i go from 3-10h

lucky number: not lucky but i like the number 2 and 7 a lot

what i’m wearing: t shirt and shorts

dream job: editor probably! its not a dream but its what im thinking of rn

dream trip:  i just like a quiet convenient place where i wont be disturbed and left alone to do things tbh! but ill still put japan bc i love convenience stores and vending machines...

favorite food: uhm,,, rice??? AHFISKGJ I LOVE WHITE RICE.. for all that i love, i dont actually eat it a lot tho

Play any instruments?: guzheng,, that i havent touched for 84 years

languages: on those that i have at least a bit of a standard & speak quite frequently, its chinese and english

favorite songs: i have a lot but can i take this chance to cry about some of my fav tian guan fansongs that are original??

the thousandth love !! // thousand lantern wishes // party due to you // withered flowers & pitiful dust //   idk why i tried translating the titles but alas

random fact: it didnt really hit me that i was chinese until mxtx

describe yourself as aesthetic things: um. laptop, coffee and the bed?? im not sure how this works ahfkajdkg

tag 21 people you want to get to know better: ayyy ive actually done this like 10x before but i like doing them when i get them to see how my answers change LOL so im not tagging! if you wanna do, just steal!

[tumblunni]

I have a question that I hope is ok. I have had a suspicion that I might have some form of autism for quite a while now and when you reblog posts that say something along the line of just autism things like the one you just did I have to do a double take because I do all of those things + have them happen to me and am shocked when I see I'm not the only one who does these things especially the really abstract. I don't ever bring it up though in fear that people get upset that I'm "faking"

Oh man, mystery person, that’s pretty heavy!! I know the feeling, it took me a LONG time of self-examination to work out whether I might have autism, and I actually did have to deal with a less-than-optimal response when I tried to talk to someone about it. My doctor outright said ‘but you seem too smart for that’, like.. what the fuck?? So seriously, you need to be prepared to be PERSISTANT. Don’t lose confidence in your decision! Make sure you get to see an actual diagnosis, don’t let them lock you out of it based on dumb stereotypes. Cos seriously, general practitioners going ‘hey this person probably doesnt have this thing that’s completely out of my division, and I wont even let them talk to that division’.. thats just.. GOD I really get frustrated and scared thinking how much more messed up my life would be right now if I’d listened to him and not ever got help for my condition!

So my advice is basically.. even if you don’t want to ‘self-diagnose’, please do ‘self-diagnose’.You need to be abnormally prepared for this, you need to have a list of all your symptoms, you need to learn the terms and have reference to point to in the event of them denying you the ability to talk to an actual psychologist. And you need to be prepared for them even treating you like you cant be autistic if you were capable of doing this!You need to hand-hold your general practitioner through explaining what autism even is, and do whatever the fuck you can so you can get transferred over to someone who actually knows who they’re talking about.Oh and common ‘self-diagnosis’ type stuff can also help a lot in the meantime, because doing research on the subject can lead you to finding new coping methods, finding other people to ask about the subject, and just generally tiding you over until you’re able to get a professional diagnosis and (hopefully) access to things like therapy and local autism community groups.Also, just, in some countries medical care is way less accessable, so I know not eveyrone is even able to get a professional diagnosis at all.

Oh, and an important thing is that autism is a spectrum and there are many different symptoms you can have. it can even be hard to discover your own symptoms, you might find that they manifest in a weird way because you’ve been subconciously trying to hide them or using some form of unhealthy coping method for years. Going undiagnosed into your adult years is really like.. one of the primary causes for autism being REALLY disabling! Dear god my stage of treatment right now is just learning to untangle a bunch of bullshit I’ve done to myself over the years, and re-learn basic life skills and self confidence. I think if i’d been born into an environment with people who actually would have recognised it and cared about getting me help as a kid, i could have grown up without most of my anxiety issues!Another important fact is that adult autism is often co-morbid with anxiety issues, due to the circumstances of being left completely alone to deal with this thing for your entire life with no support. There’s also just a lot of ways certain anxiety disorders (as well as ADHD) can have overlapping symptoms with autism spectrum disorders. A lot of the ‘that feel when’ meme stuff can be relateable to all three of these otherwise quite different disorders. So I’d reccommend looking up info on ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and related conditions too, and maybe seeing which disorder seems most similar to what you’re experiencing. And don’t be scared if it seems like you might have multiple of them! In real life being ‘all the tokens at once’ is VERY MUCH not ‘unrealistic’, man I really hate those people who’re like ‘hwaaa someone who’s black AND gay AND in a wheelchair? political correctness gone maaaad!’ Seriously, its very VERY possible to have more than one mental illness, especially ones that might have a knock-on effect causing another one. Going undiagnosed and untreated for ANYTHING can lead to developing anxiety and depression, but going undiagnosed for a social disability makes it especially likely to get specifically social anxiety.oh, and randomly for an example I happen to also have prosopagnosia, which means I can’t tell the difference between people’s faces. I literally cannot recognise my best friend if she changes her hairstyle or glasses. This is kinda Double Hell combined with autism, cos its already a challenge for me to judge people’s emotions, lol!

Oh man I’m kinda going offtopic and just rambling every damn fact I know, but I’m just hoping maybe something will be helpful??I really am not an expert on autism, I dont even know any good informative blogs to link you to. I’m just a regular person who happens to have the condition, and I don’t know how to give good advice when i’m still quite often suffering from denial and self hate myself...But I dunno, I just hope it could help to hear my personal experience, and know that you’re not alone.Though now I’m worrying maybe this post is a little intimidating so it might make you feel worse?? Seriously, this is just a worst case scenario thing, hopefully your doctor won’t be as casually gatekeepy as mine was. And I mean, he seemed like a good man who wasnt exactly rude about it and wasnt doing it on purpose. If anything that worries me more, tho, cos he was just politely saying ‘haha no you’re wrong’ to a patient, about a subject he wasnt remotely qualified in, and wouldnt have ever considered reccommending me to a professional if i hadnt kept nagging him about it and come back with a bunch of research and stuff. It felt SO damn cathartic to get that ‘YES, AUTISM’ in the end! Shame I couldnt show it to him and I probably would have had my entire healthcare cut forever if I boasted XDAlso, I was lucky that I had my charity support worker to help me through the stress of the assessment interviews. I hope you have at least one person who’d be able to be there for you and believe you, in times like these. Or, even if you’re like me and you dont’ have any family and stuff, I hope you end up meeting a surprisingly awesome governent worker lady who wears a cool hat and helps you out. Seriously, Amber, you’re a godsend!

So umm.. yeah.. i am REALLY sleep deprived and I am not good at words but i hope some of this helped?? I hope you’re okay, anon!And honestly, reading ‘lol relateable jokes’ type posts on people’s blogs was how I first started suspecting I was autistic, too. I’d grown up buried in so many stereotypes of mentally ill people, I never thought I was one of them until I actually got to read blogs from their perspective. Joke posts obviously aren’t a substitute for a diagnosis, but I think they kinda serve a valuable role in the self acceptance process, yknow? Thank you, joke posts!